Roaming Brit
  • Blog
  • The Story Of Us
  • Other Blogs
    • Forever Enduring Cycles Blog 2015 >
      • Forever Enduring Cycles
      • Bipolarcoaster
      • Books For Sale
  • Gallery
  • Spain
    • First Month
    • Three Months
    • Six Months
    • One Year
    • 2 Year Anniversary
    • Spanish Views
    • Gran Alacant >
      • GA Advertiser
      • Gran Alacant News
      • LoungeD
      • No Wives Club
  • About
    • New Life
    • Wedding
    • 21 Years
    • Timeline
    • My Story
    • Australia 2016/17
  • Guest Bloggers
    • Penelope Wren
    • Debra Rufini
    • Claire Coe
    • Richard Guy
    • Optimistic Mummy
    • Julie Rawlinson
    • Letters Of Hope
  • Links
  • Contact
  • My Writing
    • Short Stories From My Youth
    • Verruca Almond
    • The Streets

From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

Picture

On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

Picture

Year In Review - Feliz año nuevo!

31/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
This will be my the final ‘year in review’ blog entry, also looking forward to the new year, as we head into 2018, after another challenging twelve months. I began 2017 in negative mood, focusing on returning to the UK, during a particularly bad winter in Spain. The house I was living in was cold and damp, rain water was slowly seeping through doors and windows, I had a severe chest infection and Jamie had left, returning home to the UK. With Darrell still living in Australia, I felt very much alone in the World, ready to call time on my adventures in Spain. I rarely left the house, staying in bed as often as I could, depressed and without hope. If I thought 2015 was bad, 2016 was even worse, I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, 2017 was going to just be another year of hardship and difficulties and I wanted out. Of course the reality of my situation was such, that returning to Britain was impossible. I had no money at all, certainly not enough to relocate to another country, twice in a year. Deep down I knew I was backed into a corner, again at the mercy of events and circumstances. The one thing I hate, is not being in charge of my own destiny. In January 2017 my mind was in a dark place; I had been here before, but never 1500 miles from home. I had no back up plan and was very much swimming blindly in a sea of contention.

Well of course I am still in Spain and despite wanting to return home, I never did. 2017 has had its ups and downs for both Darrell and myself; we do however remain resolute in our belief, that this place offers us the best chance for new opportunities and a future untainted by the past. Spain was never the easy option we had imagined, the opposite is true. We have struggled at times to keep our head above water and have had to negotiate a system that is unforgiving, unrelenting and merciless. You either survive in Spain or you don’t, there is no middle way. We have learnt to keep very much to ourselves and live a very frugal, self serving and private existence, the one aspect of life we never had in the UK. As a blogger and columnist, my life is an open book, but I am able to distinguish between professional and private when referencing mine and Darrell’s relationship here in Spain. I have made a few close friends in Gran Alacant, but have learnt not to live in and out of each others pockets; after previous experience living in the UK and all the hardships that brought. I am comfortable with my lot now, without the stresses of the past, but still not completely comfortable with my new life. I still have tension from time to time, but it is born out of life experience, not what others leave at ones door.

So 2017 was another roller coaster year, one I have managed to get through relatively unscathed. Darrell and I are both Spanish residents, pay our taxes and have been talking about buying somewhere to live permanently; life is very much rooted in Gran Alacant for now. I hope 2018 will finally be a good year, after all the hard work both of us have put in. like most people I have hopes and dreams and a few options to consider, following very much the same path, I am travelling now. As I become more settled in my new role, I am conscious that I can not take anything for granted. 2015 was littered with mistakes, missed opportunities and dubious characters, never again will I allow a recurrence of the difficulties I endured back then. Today I am very aware of what I have to do, in order to lead a successful life. I judge people everyday; if there is the mere hint of conflict, I will walk away. I have enough baggage, without taking on other peoples. In 2017 I have learned a lot About the character of those around me. I know who to interact with and who to avoid. It may well have taken 46 years, but I am finally able to walk away!

To end this entry, I want to talk a little about home, Southampton. I need to return for a short visit in 2018. The circumstances behind my leaving were extreme, consequently, I wasn’t able to say goodbye to many of those I still hold dear. As I approach my third year in Spain, I am confident enough, to tie up the loose ends, without the fear of not returning to Spain. I miss Britain everyday, but it really isn’t my home any more. A trip down memory lane, is just what the Doctor ordered, to finally lay the ghosts of Southampton past to rest, a final farewell, before I walk quietly into the sunset!

A very Happy New Year to all my friends and family, both here in Spain and abroad in the UK. Don’t be strangers, pop on a plane and come for a visit. In 2017 we were lucky enough to have many familiar faces coming through the door, we want this year to be equally rewarding.

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

Blue Is The New Black!

30/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Since when has black been blue?  I may well have supported Brexit back in 2016 but I don't need Theresa May and her lame Government telling me falsehoods; 'fake news' if you will. The Government announced a 'return to blue passports,' in 2019, when we leave the European Union. I personally don't care what colour my passport is, now or in the future, but I find the Governments claim that we are returning to a blue passport as laughable. The British passport has never been blue, as my old passport above shows; shockingly it was black. Do politicians think we are that stupid, as to believe everything they tell us. 

If they can lie about the pigment of a passport, what else are they lying about. Did they really think everyone who used to have a 'Black,' yes black passport, wouldn't remember the colour of the thing. Are people really that gullible, as to believe this nationalistic rubbish, harking back to better times and a dubious shade of blue, that never existed. Instead of tinkering with frippery, deal with the real issues of Brexit and lets get back to some normality!
Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

Dealing With The After Effects Of Bullying!

29/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
I had a message this morning, from the parent of a young lady, now in her twenties, wanting to understand how to help her deal with, the after effects of bullying. A young lady who suffered the trauma of abuse at school, now trying to find her own way in life; all the time conscious of what happened. As a young twenty year old, I tended to deal with my feelings in a negative way. The pain caused by such acts of abuse, especially when you are young and impressionable is profound, intense and often overwhelming. My biggest problem was anxiety; walking into a room full of people, not knowing any of them; having to communicate or interact was often a terrible experience. All the time, in the back of my head, I was recalling my worst fears. The whole room was full of bullies and I was going to become another victim.

I suppose initially I learnt to deal with each problem as it arose, breathing exercises to get me through a difficult presentation at University, focusing on a single individual when one had to publicly speak, which was easier than encompassing a whole lecture hall of ‘bullies’ waiting to watch me crumble or just staying away from situations I couldn’t handle, not even attempting them in the first place. Leaving school was a big relief for me, but the issues I experienced then were always going to be there, sometimes surfacing at the most inconvenient moments, I just had to learn to deal with them.

Some victims of bullying will turn to drink and drugs to dull the pain. That may or may not have happened to me, but these are short term ‘helpers,’ designed to get you through the day or the difficulty you are currently confronting. Drinking and taking drugs just increases the feelings of anxiety and stress, adding to the burden you are already carrying around with you. For me cigarettes helped; I know that is a non PC answer, but they did. I started smoking at a very early age and have been smoking for about thirty three years now; one of the only things I stuck at long enough, as someone so kindly reminded me the other day. If I had followed a career in much the same vein, I could be at the top of my tree now. Although I smoke far less than I used to, it still offers me an opportunity to relax in stressful situations. I am certainly not advocating someone take it up though, please don’t misunderstand what I am saying; there are other diversions to relieve stress!

Bullying is a long term issue; I was bullied at school, but I was also a victim for most of my life, in one form or another; you see once you have been abused, it is easier for others to do the same. A bully or a sociopath, will find a victim easily, there seems to be a mutual attraction; that doesn’t go away. Until recently, I was still suffering; leaving the UK in January 2016 to try and finally start a new life, away from the bullying of the past. The story of what happened to Darrell and me is commonly known, both of us victims of a work place sociopath, which nearly cost me my life. I sometimes think I had victim written all over my face; homosexual, bipolar, overweight and shy; I had no bloody chance in the first place. My boss at the time tried to destroy me because of issues that she felt she had control over.

The history of what happened is all over this blog, so I will not go into great detail. It was difficult discovering that my boss was probably controlling every aspect of my life and well being, through bullying; not blatant playground attacks, but subtle, at times barely noticeable acts, that were difficult to see and unravel. After a long period of illness and bipolar relapse, I eventually asked for help, through an organisation called ‘Solent Mind,’ a charity who were instrumental in helping me discover the truth of what was going on. The realisation that I had once again become a victim was traumatic, further relapse, post traumatic stress and deep, deep depression followed. On top of this, my partner Darrell was also agonising; employed by the same organisation, he too was a victim, as were a number of other employees. Once again my life was a mess because of torment and intimidation.

In my case, after a lifetime of abuse, I thought moving away was the answer and to some extent it was. A new start, with a fresh outlook was just what I needed to move on. If I had dealt with my anguish differently in my twenties, I would however not be here today. The best way to deal with bullies, is to move on and not look back. Remove their influence from your life completely, without a second thought. Detaching oneself from those who associated with the abusers was also necessary. In my early twenties, I still believed these dubious characters were my friends, they were nothing but. I was more afraid of being alone than doing the right thing.

Before I left for Spain, I was on a huge cocktail of medication, in order to help ease the difficulties surrounding bipolar, today I take none, throwing every pill I had in the bin. Medication kept me locked into a bubble of trepidation; it was comfy in there, but it just masked what was truly going on. After a life of apprehension and anxiety, I really had to deal with what happened to me. Finally in Spain, I began to change my way of dealing with the bullies. Today I write about my experiences, which is the biggest therapy of all. I am able to express how I feel, without sugar coating a single aspect of what happened. Like today, the words don’t always make sense; I write them down as they pop into my head, but it is comforting to see sentences on paper, being able to look back at some truly horrendous situations, confronting them in script.

If you are suffering now or have in the past, you need to find an outlet for your encounters; writing is perfect for me, for others it may be painting, standing on a stage or going for long country walks; the list is endless. Anything that releases positive energy, allowing self expression is a good and valuable tool; necessary In rebuilding lives. I have had much feedback from victims of bullying, asking for help; my words are actually doing something positive. In order to understand what occurred, I had to document details of some deeply disturbing events; this is what I had to do, to move forwards. For others, this may not be the answer, dealing with the after effects of bullying is a deeply personal journey.

If I had to give one single piece of advice to those who have suffered, I would say this: Take back control of your life. A bullies only advantage over you, is the art of control. You can walk away, you don’t have to retaliate; above all you can live your life well. The control I now have, allows be to express my emotions in the way I want. By leaving the UK, I could finally manage my own destiny; if it fails, so be it, at least I tried. Even before I left Britain, I worked with abused and bullied children as a mentor and advocate; this allowed me to give something back to help kids who need that boost of confidence. Apart from anything else, it also helped me deal with my own issues. Use your experiences to help victims; don’t shut the pain away, allow it to surface, cry, shout and scream; do whatever you have to, to finally come to terms with the past!

Finally, as parents of children who are victims of abuse, you need to take a supportive role. It goes without saying, that schools rarely deal with bullying in a satisfactory way. Often the anguish comes out later in life, this is where parents need to be there for their child. Encourage them to speak about their ordeal; it really does help to talk. As a victim myself, I will however only communicate when I want to; I never force the issue. Lead a normal family life, offer that security of a loving home and allow your child to grow and evolve in the way they want, not the way you expect; everyone is different.

There is no easy answer to the after effects of bullying. The only real conclusion I can come to myself, is deal with the consequences as soon as they become apparent. Look for changes in a child at school, be there always, believe what they are telling you and approach the subject with the school as soon as you are aware of it. If the school will not listen or believe you, take your child away from the situation. The solutions remain the same later in life. I tried counselling, medication and revenge; none of these things worked; the only answer is to finally take back what was lost and build a better life!

Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

It wouldn't be Christmas without....

29/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
Wherever you are in the World, Christmas wouldn't be the same with a cold. At the moment in Gran Alacant, I don't know anyone who hasn't had the lurgy. I am at home this evening, just trying to shift this virus, so I can get back to work tomorrow; there is no point passing it on to everyone else.

Plenty of paracetamol, bottles of water and hot mugs of Bovril have been consumed today and I am at least beginning to feel a little better.

If you are currently ill, incapacitated, I am sending loads of love for a speedy recovery; if not, keep it that way, you really don't want this cold.

Stay safe, stay warm!
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

Verruca Does Christmas!

28/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Christmas is always a special time, hearing from friends and family you haven't heard from in a while, spending a few days with loved ones and reflecting on the past year. It was 3am this morning when my mobile phone rang; bleary eyed, I picked it up; Verruca Almond was on the end of the line. I knew I shouldn't have put me new phone number on facebook, but it was too late; Verruca had done her homework and tracked me down! For those of you who don't know who Verruca is, she was a carer, who taught me the ways of the World; looking after myself, surviving in the most difficult of circumstances, how to lick knives, without cutting ones tongue, totally deranged, sociopathic and now working for the biggest charity in the land 'OXSCAM,' after infiltrating the HR department at OXSCAM House. She had had her tough times, but was finally on the up, always keeping in touch when she could!

Verruca has this habit of phoning at the most inopportune moments; ridiculous times in the morning, whilst you were away on holiday or in an important meeting; in fact any when she knew it would annoy you the most. In true form, she was unapologetic and immediately started to squawk loudly, on what I can only describe as an inaudible phone line. Verruca has no family to speak of, so tends to spend Christmas on her own. She has always pretended to be married, buying underwear and  vests, for her imaginary husband, from the very charity shops she is in charge of; however this partnership isn't quite as it seems; Verruca has created a fictional World; something none of us who knew her, ever spoke about, although were fully aware of. She had no husband, no family life and was a spinster living her life in a dream. For her Christmas is the most productive time of the year. She can sit alone in front of a PC, trolling through social networking sites; drunken status updates, compromising photographs and pretend illnesses, on Boxing Day; getting as much information on people, she knows, as she can. Verruca is a game player and spends most of her life, trying to destroy others; it's what she was born to do. She used to say to me, how proud of herself she was; dragged up as a child, fending for herself and now more powerful than others could ever imagine. At the time, I never understood her words, believing she was just deluded and egotistical, today, things are very different; I understand her vision completely! 

Verruca's charity work is without question, winning awards for misappropriation of funds and redirecting money for good causes towards buying property in the Cayman Islands, year on year. Oh she is good, financially astute and always one step ahead of the accounts department at OXSCAM House. I remember when a rather large amount of money went missing from her department,  she was quick to deny any foul play, as shocked as everyone else about the disappearance. She had left no paper trail in her wake, but planted plenty of evidence and false documents in the drawer of her boss, who she loathed since he fired her many years previously, moving her to another area. She was proud of her accomplishment; not only had she gained thousands of pounds in her back pocket, but she had also framed her superior, killing two birds with one stone. 

Every Christmas Day Verruca would spent time at the local soup kitchen and shelter, where the homeless were given a Christmas meal. Verruca always said. why should she pay for a Christmas dinner, when she can get a free plate, eating with the most vulnerable in society, helping them towards a better path in life. Verruca went to the shelter every year, a bit like those old women that sit in the back of churches knitting away through every service.  She has no right to be there, but no one says a thing, turning a blind eye. Back in the day, I used to be amazed by Verruca's charitable nature, believing her to be a good Christian fearing woman. In fact today, I know she is nothing but. She may well spend time with those in greatest need, but only because she can manipulate them more than most; they were ideal fodder; they fed her most basic needs and desires.

The phone line was crackling; I could hear a whirling sound and the rush of water in the background...
'Are you alright Verruca? you sound like your in a washing machine!' I enquired.
'I'm great, feeling energised, full of beans, having a wonderful time!' she screamed!
'...but where are you? It's three O'Clock in the morning! Are you sure you are OK?' I asked again, shouting louder over the increasing noise at the other end of the phone.
'I'm in the forest, kayacking lovey!' she explained, barely audible under, what sounded like a waterfall!

Verruca had told me once before that she used to kayak, whenever she could. To be honest at the time, I just assumed it was another made up part of her life, how wrong was I. Actually this was one aspect of her, that I soon realised was true. I have to admit, when I was ill at work, she gave me her home address details, in order for me to send my 'sick notes' to. I took a sneaky peak at her house on 'google maps,' and bugger me backwards, there was a bloody Kayak parked outside. 

'It's 3am Verruca; you are in a kayak in the middle of the New Forest, on a phone. What the hell for?' I shouted at the top of my voice.
'There's no time to explain that, I needed to ask you a question!'
'A question, NOW, about what?' I cried exasperated down the phone!

I thought she had phoned to tell me about her Christmas and ask me about mine. It may well be the early hours of the morning, but I assumed she had been drinking, as she often did. I would frequently find empty bottles of gin, all over her company car, when she used to give me a lift to meetings or during those long chats in private, that she said were for my own good. I never spoke about the bottles, preferring to concentrate on getting out of the car as quickly as possible. Questioning her, would have only made her angry and prolonged the experience of being trapped in her Ford Focus, that stunk of cigarettes, lighter fluid and cheese and onion crisps; it was unthinkable. Luckily I always had an exit strategy. planned down to the last second, before I closed the passenger door. If things got heavy, I could faint at the drop of a hat, even in a vehicle. Not only that, I always carried pepper spray and  had a 'safe' friend phone me after an hour in her company, with a made up emergency; bad situation avoided!

'Have you finished, the end of month paperwork yet, I have to get it to head office ASAP?' she yelled, her voice cracking, followed by an ear-splitting shrill of excitement; she must have gone around the bend, in mind and  on the bloody river, a bit fast. She loved her action and adventure, did  Verruca, but this was insane!
'Verruca, you really have been drinking; I haven't worked for you in over two years.' I replied, barely discernible under the commotion on the other end of the phone. There was silence, seconds later, a rather pained shriek and finally silence again.
​'Verruca, are you alright? I have no idea what you are talking about! Verruca? Verruca?' I bellowed....!

That was the last I heard from her this morning. I have no idea why she phoned or what she was saying. I can only assume she has lost the plot, thinking I am still working at OXSCAM, living in the UK. It looks like I'm going to be spending the rest of the day, trying to get to the bottom of this mystery. Phones have a habit of going dead on her and judging by previous experience, I am highly unlikely to hear from her for a few months. She will of course deny the phone call ever happened and tell me I am going mad, when the opposite is true. Still it's good to know she is still alive, despite rafting down a river at stupid O'Clock in the morning, the day after Christmas. I'll keep you updated!

Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

Fascinating Facts - 12 Grapes!

27/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
At the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve, people gather in squares around Spain, or with their families at home, observing the quaint Spanish tradition, of eating twelve grapes, for each strike of the clock, as they welcome in the New Year. The ceremony is relatively new, dating back to 1895, when vine growers introduced the custom to better sell their bumper crops of grapes, during the winter months. The consuming of 'The twelve grapes of luck' would, according to convention, bring prosperity to all those taking part. In some parts of Spain, it is also believed this practice, wards away evil magic and witches!

The ritual of consuming twelve grapes was popularised by a working class group of madrileños, (residents of Madrid,) early in the last century; mocking the elite who gathered in Madrid's Puerta Del Sol, eating grapes and drinking champagne, pouring scorn on all those who took part. The ceremonies throughout Spain hark back to this time, leading to the observances we see today!

On New Years Eve families gather to pay homage to this ceremony, eating each grape in quick succession. With the family formalities over, the younger generation will depart to party the night away. As for me, well, I will be following this age old Spanish practice, as I did last year, minus the partying into the early hours; I'm much too old for that now!

Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

Leftovers! You can take the boy outta the gutter, but you can't take the gutter, outta the boy!

27/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture
A lot has changed in a year; last Christmas I was scrabbling around, trying to find a Euro, to buy a loaf of bread; this year we are both in a far better place financially. We may well be more comfortable than we were, but that doesn't mean we should give up, living as frugally as we always have in Spain. I have written before about the amount of food I used to waste, living in Britain; spending 150€ equivalent a week on groceries, without a second thought; throwing half of it in the bin; three for two offers, but one get one free....You know the sort of thing. In Spain I spend far less, dramatically so, maybe a third of what I used to spend back home.

Christmas in no exception; I remember vividly what it was like surviving on 10€ a week. It wasn't fun, but it did teach me the value of money; I don't waste a thing, that I can't use now. Hard times maketh the man as they say. When I look around me, at the over indulgence, greed and uncaring attitude, I am actually proud of what I have achieved. I am relearning old, thrifty, economical ways of living and actually enjoying it in the process!

With Christmas Day over and done with, I have chopped and blanched the leftover vegetables for the freezer. It is amazing, just how much stuff there is left, enough for God knows how many meals. I learned to cook in this way over a year ago, while I was fending for myself, during Darrell's absence and I continue in much the same vein today. I have become a penny pinching saver, who will not spend money unnecessarily.

If you have leftover food, don't throw it away, store it, freeze it and use it another day!
Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

FEEDBACK: 'Year In Review - Family!'

27/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture
PictureFareham circa 1980
It is always heartening to receive feedback on blog posts, positive or negative. I inherit a lot of comments and messages, mainly though the wonders of facebook. Today I received a message about my latest entry entitled 'Year In Review - Family' from a member of my own family, a cousin I haven't spoken to in well over a generation. I have only recently got in contact, with this person and  am so glad I did. At a time when I have been feeling rather nostalgic for all things British, missing friends and family, he was able to give me some words of comfort and encouragement, not to mention a supporting ear in which to sound off in, metaphorically speaking of course.

It can be difficult writing down feelings and emotions, especially those to do with family; these bonds are chequered and somewhat sparse, especially over the last ten or so years. There are many events, circumstances and difficulties, that myself and my cousin, don't know about each other. My life deviated away from the tiny market town, where I grew up, his stayed very much rooted in the memories of the past. I admire the fact he still lives in the town of his birth and envy his connection to  people I haven't seen for years. I can't get those lost years back, but I can at least focus my efforts on renewing links that are just waiting to be reattached; a continuation of where I left off, all those years ago. 

I will be paying my cousin a visit, when I eventually touch down on British soil again. His comments were much needed and appreciated, his words of advice taken on board and his genuine affection the biggest gift of all.

When people ask me why I blog, everyday, I am not always sure of the right thing to say; today gave me a real reason, apart from having too much to say, a crusade to fight or a story to tell; today gave me the true meaning of blogging; to connect with people, reignite friendships and relationships and of course move away from the pain of the past.

"Blogging is a powerful medium, don't let anyone tell you any different!"

Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

Year In Review - Family!

26/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture

​I have always had a rather strained relationship with my family for reasons I can’t even recall. I suppose if I looked back far enough I would discover the reasons why but prefer to keep difficult recollections shut away, dealing with them when I have to. My lifestyle and sexuality has been the biggest factor in my distance from those who were once close. I was born in a very different era, consequently growing up gay was difficult for me, possibly more than most. I was given very little support from those who should have helped, as a result my life took a different path, to the one I expected. The Southampton gay scene became my family, rightly or wrongly. Their influence became a great source of contention; it is highly doubtful anyone back then, after my first few years of coming out, had a beneficial impact on my well-being. My life augmented, firmly cemented within this close knit community; difficult to break away from. A gay scene can be a good supportive network of like minded individuals, it can also be a destructive force, a bubble, outside of which, it becomes difficult to survive. This was the juncture myself and my family began to part ways; I didn’t notice it so much at the time, but can clearly see the seeds of estrangement today.

Moving to Spain has been a rebuilding process in every respect; in this penultimate review of 2017, I wanted to talk about family, not something I do very often, but feel it is appropriate to discuss my changing relationship, with those who were an important part of my life. They may not always be close now, but that doesn’t mean they are not consequential, they are. The distance between us isn’t only physical; I also chose to emotionally drift into the background, of what was at one stage the largest family in Hampshire, because I didn’t want my life to be a judgement on theirs; that way no one would get hurt in the future. These were indeed very different times; not so long ago, growing up gay was a difficult process, especially when there were those, who didn’t appreciate my sexuality. Staying away was easier for everyone concerned!

Since emigrating to Spain I have been lucky enough to reconnect with members of my family, I haven’t seen or messaged in many years. Moving to the other side of Europe has brought me closer to those who were distant when I lived in the UK; for the life of me I don’t know why. I did make that first step, a conscious decision to contact family members myself when I moved here. The circumstances of my arrival were not the most auspicious, so explaining what transpired in my life was a little difficult, but in my view necessary, in order to move forwards, no longer looking back to darker times. Once the formalities were out of the way, the reasons for our relocation were never discussed again.

This year I was lucky enough, to have been visited by my cousin Tracy and her lovely family, while they were on holiday in this region of Spain. Now I haven’t seen Tracy for many years, probably thirty in total, so it was rather a shock seeing her. However this reunion was the highlight of my new life so far. Even though we only spent a brief period together, it was fantastic catching up after so long. The last time I saw Tracy, she was sporting an 80s perm. I remember we all used to gather, on large family occasions at Funtley Village Hall; Weddings, Birthdays, that sort of thing, so I would imagine, that would have been the last place I saw her. It was so long ago, I can’t remember exactly.

It is only through the wonders of facebook that I saw Tracy at all. After losing contact with my Aunt Carol, Tracy’s Mother, I found her again whilst searching on the Worlds biggest networking site and the rest is history as they say. My Aunt Helen was another family member who contacted me; currently living in the Channel Islands, she encouraged me to speak to other family members, which I did and although we all still remain rather aloof, at least there are the beginnings of reconciliation. Somebody did ask me the other day about my kinsfolk back in the UK. Sadly I couldn’t tell them very much, as we haven’t had a lot of contact over the years; when I sat back and thought for a moment, I understood just how unfortunate this was. All families have disagreements and fall out from time to time, but to allow things to get so bad, that contact becomes impossible is a travesty; hopefully this will be something, that can be put right in the coming year.

Despite the distance between us, this year has been a good one for rekindling family bonds; not only mine of course. Darrell spent the first three months of 2017 in Australia, caring for his Mother who has cancer; notwithstanding these difficult circumstances, he was also able to once again see family, he hasn't seen in many years, re-establishing some important relationships. Thankfully his Mum seems to be on the mend now and able to look after herself; Darrell would like the visit her as often as he can in future and who can blame him. I aim to travel back to the UK later in the winter, in order to see my Mother and father; finances and time allowing of course. After a two year absence I am well aware that Spain is now my home and have no desire to return to Britain full time. Staying away as long as I have, has allowed me to bed down and establish myself here, returning to Britain when I feel the time is right; early 2018 is the perfect opportunity to finally make contact once again!

Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments

Christmas Day!

25/12/2017

0 Comments

 
Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture



​'Not the best photograph to start with, on a Christmas Day, but after the restless night I had, I was surprised to be up at all, let alone at 9am. I have never been a morning person, much preferring to stay up late and get up later. Even though I was in bed at a reasonable time, it didn't really matter; the ghost of Christmas past was on the prowl!'

Picture
​11.15am

Both Darrell and I had a very weird night and early morning this Christmas day. When I got home from work on Christmas Eve, I found Mollie acting strangely. She was sat, perched on the edge of the sofa, looking upwards, meowing heavily, chattering occasionally, as if she was having a conversation with something, yet there was nothing there. Mollie was observing something, that I clearly couldn’t see. She carried on like this for a good few hours. No matter what I did to try and distract her, she would ignore me, acting distant and distracted!

As a person, I am quite spiritual and believe in an afterlife, if not God; I suppose you could call me agnostic. I understand from reading about the power of animals, that cats are very sensitive to anything out of the ordinary, otherworldly or ghostly. Mollie can certainly see things I can’t; things that exist, which the human brain can’t comprehend. I am sure it was a ghost! Now I have seen a ghost before, and can remember the circumstances in which the apparition appeared, not unlike what I experienced last night. A sudden drop in temperature and a strange, very strange feeling that came over me. I didn’t see anything myself, it has to be said, but I am sure Mollie did.

At three O’Clock this morning, after only being asleep for about two hours, I woke up suddenly, gasping heavily, heart racing; I thought I was about the breath my last. Then out of the corner of my eye, I spied Mollie, sat at the bottom of the bed, looking upwards, as if in a trance; she was at it again. Perfectly timed, Darrell also kicked abruptly into life, after a particularly bad snoring fit. Darrell does suffer with sleep apnoea; on occasion, when I detect he has stopped breathing, I jab him in the side with my elbow, just to wake him up. Darrell jolted upright in bed, laying straight back down, whacking his head on the side of the bedside table, right on his temple. Obviously any head injury is a concern, especially how hard he hit it. I have been monitoring him this morning and he seems to be fine. 

From previous experience, I am sure this house is haunted; I know you are going to think I’m mad, but I really do get these strange feelings, so don’t judge me. I am however a person who has no problem with this type of activity and actually find the concept quite comforting. So far so good today, Mollie is laying in the sun room and isn’t acting strangely yet; however the day is young.

Picture
​Darrell has to work at four O’clock, so I am cooking a roast before he goes. I say a roast, because I am not doing a proper Christmas Dinner; the ingredients were just too expensive. I bought a chicken from Mercadona for 5´05€; the same size turkey in Iceland, La Marina, about two and a quarter kilo’s would have cost me 20€ and I wasn’t prepared to pay all that extra money, just for one day. We still have to watch the cents here in Spain, so I am continuing to be as economical as I can. At least Darrell finishes work at 8.30pm, so we can have a few glasses of wine then. It is a gorgeous day today, 24 degrees. Not your typical Christmas weather, but much better than the big freeze in Britain!

Picture
​1.30pm
​

Well that’s Christmas Dinner over and done with. As a treat I am using the dishwasher, not something I do often, due to the high cost of electricity in Spain, but today is the birth of our Lord, so forget the expense I say. I have just sat down with a glass or two of red wine watching ‘The Importance of Being Ernest!’ Queen’s speech later and a little siesta afterwards.
Picture
4.30pm

Mollie and Wildling are still enjoying the fabulous Spanish weather, after eating a large Christmas dinner with myself and Darrell, who has just left for work. As for me, well I'm blogging and drinking wine all evening. I really do cherish my own time these days, if that makes me antisocial, so be it. As a Taurean, I am a home buddy and that's the way I like it. 
I've just watched The Queen's Speech, as I have done every year since I was a wee lad; a Christmas tradition that really is the icing on the cake, especially now I am an old Expat living on the Costa Blanca. Her Majesty is a link to the past, not only for our Nation, but also for people like me, who no longer live in their Country of birth. The Queen highlighted a year of terrorism on Britain's streets. Lets hope 2018 see's an end to these barbaric acts and a return to peaceful coexistence!

It's back to another glass of red for me and some Roy Orbison; his new CD with the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra; cheers my lovelies, hope you are enjoying your day!
Picture

A very Happy Christmas and a prosperous new year to all my readers. Mucho amor Luke x

Picture
Picture
Picture
Picture


0 Comments
<<Previous

    Author

    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

    Picture

      Contact Luke.

    Submit
    Picture
    Click me & email for more information!
    Picture
    Picture

    Categories

    All
    30th Anniversary
    Asia-2019
    Australia
    Australia-202223
    Bangkok & Chiang Mai 2023
    Bettys-revenge
    Bipolar
    Bipolarcoaster
    Britain
    Bullying
    Business
    Cancer Research
    Cats
    Characters-i-have-known
    Charity
    Charlatan-or-confidant
    Christmas Thoughts
    Claybornes World
    Coming-out-stories
    Cooking
    Coronavirus
    Croatia 2022
    Current Affairs Politics
    Darrell In The Uk
    Death Of Queen Elizabeth
    Dunbars
    Easy-horse-care
    Events
    Events That Shaped My World
    Family
    Fascinating-facts
    Friends Colleagues
    Gran Alacant
    Guest-bloggers
    Ibs
    Immigration
    Information
    Inspirational People
    Interviews
    Japan And Thailand 2020
    Jersey-2019
    King Charles III
    Lifestyle Break
    Lockdown-life-in-photos
    London 2022
    Lounge-d
    Luke-martin-jones-awards
    Marmite Watch
    Memories Of Fareham
    Memories Of Home
    Memories-of-home
    Memories Of Portsmouth
    Memories Of Southampton
    Memories Of Spain
    Me-too-oxfam
    Milestones
    Moving
    My Life
    My Writing
    Non Touch Toast
    Oxfam-sociopathy
    Penelope-wren
    Photographs-of-hope
    Picante And Marigold
    Pippa
    Pippa And Akira
    Platinum Jubilee
    Postcards From Home
    Quotes
    Rabs-world
    Remembering Gran Alacant
    Reviewing Gran Alacant
    Santa-pola
    Self-isolation
    Shopping
    Short Stories From My Youth
    Southampton
    Spiritual
    Taiwan 2024
    Teaching Jamie
    Thailand 2022
    Thailand And Singapore 2025
    The-darkness
    The-streets
    The Two Of Us
    Travel
    Verruca-almond
    Vietnam 2024
    Villa In The Sun
    Visits From Friends
    War In Europe
    Weight Loss & Health
    Year In Review 2015
    Year In Review 2016
    Year In Review 2017
    Year In Review 2018
    Year In Review 2019
    Year In Review 2020
    Year In Review 2021
    Year In Review 2022
    Year In Review 2023
    Year In Review 2024
    Zest

    Archives

    May 2025
    April 2025
    March 2025
    February 2025
    January 2025
    December 2024
    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    February 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Tweets by realtruthblog
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture


    Instagram
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    A place to call home
    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
            Luke Feb 16
    Picture
Picture
Picture

Telephone

+447999663360

Email

[email protected]
  • Blog
  • The Story Of Us
  • Other Blogs
    • Forever Enduring Cycles Blog 2015 >
      • Forever Enduring Cycles
      • Bipolarcoaster
      • Books For Sale
  • Gallery
  • Spain
    • First Month
    • Three Months
    • Six Months
    • One Year
    • 2 Year Anniversary
    • Spanish Views
    • Gran Alacant >
      • GA Advertiser
      • Gran Alacant News
      • LoungeD
      • No Wives Club
  • About
    • New Life
    • Wedding
    • 21 Years
    • Timeline
    • My Story
    • Australia 2016/17
  • Guest Bloggers
    • Penelope Wren
    • Debra Rufini
    • Claire Coe
    • Richard Guy
    • Optimistic Mummy
    • Julie Rawlinson
    • Letters Of Hope
  • Links
  • Contact
  • My Writing
    • Short Stories From My Youth
    • Verruca Almond
    • The Streets