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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Bottles of Rioja!

30/9/2016

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A few bottles of Rioja, down Zest on Thursday night!
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The Belfry!

29/9/2016

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It was goodbye to Katie's Father, who had been staying with her for a few days, from Britain.  It was a pleasure to meet him, I enjoyed our political conversations tremendously.  Not had many of those since arriving in Spain!

We went to The Belfry for a farewell dinner.  They have just started doing Wednesday carvery.  For 10.95€ you get three courses and a drink. Now that's what a call a bargain. To be honest, I wasn't too sure what to expect, especially when you are paying such a reasonable price.  I have to say I was suitably impressed.

This was the first time I had been to The Belfry; it was lovely inside and out.  The restaurant was full to bursting, which shows just how popular the venue is.  The service there was exceptional, there was no long wait for starters and deserts and the ambiance and atmosphere, perfect. The food was cooked perfectly, the choice was good and above all the meals were all piping hot and  vegetables not overcooked.  I have been to many carvery's in the past, where the food was so cold it was inedible. This time, at The Belfry, it was very different; who could ask for more, on a stormy, windy night, in Gran Alacant!  I will certainly be back!

I thoroughly enjoyed my evening at The Belfry and would highly recommend it, to my readers!
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Stormy Wednesday Night!

29/9/2016

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Just got in from a lovely meal at The Belfry, which I shall blog about tomorrow. It's a bill chilly tonight. Stormy weather, lightning, Grand Designs on the TV and a cup of Bovril with the cats on the sofa. Perrrrrfect!
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8 Month Review!

27/9/2016

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What a difference a few months make.  A lot has changed since my last review two months ago.  My life has in reality been turned upside down in all respects.  Many things have changed, for the worst and for the better.  Spain has never been what we expected, from day one.  This place continues to amaze and frustrate me in equal measure.  Like the story of my life, it has been a rollercoaster ride; one that I have wanted to get off many times.  Eight months feels like eight years; whether or not that is a good thing, I don't know.  More has changed in the last two months than in the whole of our time, living here!

​Employment

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As readers to my blog are aware, I left the Restaurant I was working for a few months ago.  For me the hours were too few; they were also spread out over every day, so you can understand the situation was not ideal. At a time when this large restaurant should have been picking up for the summer season, it wasn't.  The best option for me under those circumstances, was to move on.  Personally I do not mind working every day, as long as i am doing enough hours to justify it.  I loved working there, enjoyed every aspect of my working life, but there were just too many disadvantages to staying.

​Gran Alacant Advertiser

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The biggest achievement for me, over the last few months, since our six month review, was being asked to write a column for The Gran Alacant Advertiser.  Everyone who knows me, understands the passion I have for writing; so being able to document and detail the community I love, is a dream come true.  My monthly column, entitled 'Chatter', describes the issues important to the residents of Gran Alacant and the surrounding areas;  just what are people talking about, in this little part of the Costa Blanca?

For me, this is a first step, on the road, to finally, being able to write fulltime, a career I have wanted to do, ever since I can remember. With a keen personal interest in politics and current affairs, the Gran Alacant Advertiser, has given me the freedom to write what I think is appropriate, devising my own brief each month.  Being acclaimed for your writing and recognised for your abilities, no matter how small, is important to a writer like me.  Being able to write about the country you love, is a bonus!

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​Australia

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Darrell has left for Australia for a minimum of seven months.  There are many reasons for his departure, including looking after his Mother, who has been ill in recent times. The employment situation in  Spain is also not ideal.  Employment law, high unemployment, recession and unstable Government, together, make for a rough ride, especially for non Spanish speakers like ourselves.  

The best option is for Darrell to return home, care for his mother at a difficult time and earn money in a much more stable market.  Wages are also extremely low in Spain.  The minimum wage in Australia remains five times higher than the equivalent  here.  

Darrell has been gone for about two months now, and myself and Jamie are coping remarkably well.  We are both living on the bare minimum, but with the cost of living being that much lower than The UK, you can actually live quite comfortably. This is not a long term solution, but one we will endure in the medium term, in order to purchase a property in Spain and finally live our life together, as we would like.

​oxfam

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Even after eight months of living in Spain, Oxfam are still firmly on my mind, as they will be, until those responsible for their Sociopathic behaviour are brought to justice.  The Charity Commission in The UK, have been in constant contact, as well as a number of publications who want to buy my story.

I am still deciding whether or not, to talk to various newspapers.  I understand the implications of doing so and do not really want to hurt any of those innocent volunteers who I used to work with.  They would undoubtedly get hurt.  These people have given up their time to work for this charity, finding out the truth may not sit well with them.  It is a hard decision to make and one I will not take lightly.  This charity needs to be exposed for what it has and hasn't done, but I must remain conscious of my actions!

​Community

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Community is the biggest factor, why I continue to stay in Spain.  When Darrell returned home to Australia, I could have quite easily moved back to The UK, but after thinking about and weighing up my options, I decided to remain in Gran Alacant.  This was not the easy path.  Once again I chose to follow a difficult road, but the people who live here have been so welcoming, open and genuine, how could I not choose to stay.  Don't get me wrong, this is not the Spain I expected, I have little or no money, but this is one dream, I will not give up on!

Visitors

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We have had a few visitors over the last few months, some better than others. It was a pleasure to have Jean and Myra staying with me for a week, before their holiday to Benidorm.  Both Jean and her sister Myra have been friends for many years and I enjoyed spending quality time with them immensely. The two of them took me out every night for dinner and even left money for their stay.  They were the perfect house guests. I have decided to limit the number of people coming in future, due to the costs involved. For every guest that leaves some money, there are two that don't and will not be coming again!

Looking forward

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The season has come to an end in Spain; the reality of my situation, is I am highly unlikely to find any more paid work, until the summer season starts in March.  With Darrell working in Australia, that should take the pressure off me somewhat, allowing  me to concentrate on writing and keeping the home fires burning if you like.

​I am also looking forward to the cooler weather, possibly doing some volunteering with a reputable charity and of course will continue to write, always looking for more opportunities, should they arise.  I am finally looking forward to Christmas.  It will be very different from those in the past, but with a visitor flying over from the UK for a month, it will not be a completely lonely affair!



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Charlatan or Confidant - Part II

26/9/2016

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Reliving events, that brought us to spain.
you are truly gifted my friend!

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There are those people, who will say, move on with your life and forget this episode.  What I have to say to you is this;  Part of the process, of moving forwards and rebuilding a life, involves analysing what went wrong before, otherwise the same things will happen again. This is all part of that process.

I have already spoken to a number of different people, before publishing transcripts.  I have done all I need to do, to hide the identity of those involved.  

In the second part of this document of messages and calls, Penny further gains my trust, offering empty words of love and respect, platitudes.  This is not my interpretation, it is that of the charity I used to help me overcome what happened.  

Once again, you may feel differently.  I am not outing anyone, just going through words, with a different outlook and perspective on what actually happened during my last year in Southampton.

I have been over these words again and again, and I am still unsure, whether or not Penny was genuine or a charlatan.  She comes across very well.  There was a time I regarded her as a friend, but in the words of the charity who helped me, she was a bully, never listened to what you said and told you what you wanted to hear; make up your own mind!
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​You are truly gifted my friend!

​Penny's words are in light green script, mine are in dark blue!
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28 April 2015

Concentration is a real problem. I haven't sat down and watched a film for many years. I just can't do it. On top of Bipolar it is a real pain for normality and relaxation..x

I think possibly you've been trying "to hard". I gave Darrell a list of things on how to meditate last night. Your main focus should be your breathing, and slowing it down. When thoughts come into your head, recognise, and then let them drift away. Try not to focus on them, it will become easier for you. 

6 May 2016

Omg!!! I have just read it! You truly understood what was being said! I could just hug you so tightly now. Did you google what 24 meant? I did! If not go check it out xxxxx Ps. I am and always will be here for you x

Hi Penny. I'll google it now. I always try and understand! x

It's as if it was written for you x This was the link I read x sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com

Really...I'll look now! x

x

10 May 2016

Hey you! I hope that you had an amazing day yesterday, filled with love and laughter! xxxx

Hey sweet. I had a great time. Darrell is worrying me ATM with this Kate thing. I have no idea what to say. I really hope v sorts this ASAP...x

Luke don't worry about it, there is nothing you can do to resolve it for him. V is going to extend her probation period, I can only assume she is doing that; to gather evidence to not offer her an open ended contract. I watched her do it with 1 of the deputies at Winchester std shop. Darrell has told her everything that has gone on, as well as HR so, as long as he stands his ground, holds his nerve it will be resolved. You my sweet friend, should not worry, think, stress about it. You need to focus on you at the moment. xx

I read a friends hand last night. It was really upsetting. There was a family history of suicide. He was also resting with suicide himself. I told him he got very upset but said it was all true. He thanked me for telling him. I'll send you his message. I cried.

Bless you! But... You actually reached out and helped him. What an amazing gift to bestow on a friend xx What a truly heart felt beautiful message. xxxx

But having said that; it was well deserved. I think with the past few years, you lost touch of who you really were. So many people came into your life under false pretences. But thankfully, I know that the dark cloud they bestowed upon you, is slowly beginning to lift. Reflect upon last night, love and laughter embraced you. No drama, no ulterior motives from those that felt honoured to celebrate your birthday with you. I sense a feeling of love, warmth, sincerity and calmness. What a beautiful place to be within the heart of my friend. Enjoy, embrace and cherish the wonderful emotions those close to you, feel about you. x

It's hard to really describe the "pain" you feel when you read someone. You do find that people who "put on a show" only do it to hide their true feelings. But he was sent to you for a reason, the same as I was sent to you. Because you know, you feel, you truly understand; you do have a wonderful gift, use it wisely, freely, and with love and sincerity. It will never fail you, you will learn to understand it greater than you do now. It takes time, but it's worth all the effort; as it truly does change your life. X

Remember; always listen to your inner voice, it guides you, it protects you, it defines you from everyone else x

I'll try. Trouble is you continue to worry for fear of saying wrong thing. X

No, you will be guided. People are shocked at first; yes as they look at you as if your a stalker! But them reality steps in, they know you know. There are plenty of things I could of said about your Nan, but I was quite tactful, and said she had done my head in. She was relentless, used to getting her own way, quite spoilt to a degree. But I was guided to say, she had a strong opinion, strong willed strong character etc.. Get my drift? 

So much so; she even had an opinion on what I wore! Lol flat shoes weren't for her liking! 

You say whatever u have too. I know how dominant she was and she caused a lot of pain also, but it also made her contact you. By reading others it is strangely making me stronger if a bit emotional. I had never seen hands like this it was very scary, but I knew he was close to the end 

Trust in yourself Luke, you are truly gifted my friend. Have you posted a photo for Sally to read yet? I haven't said anything to her, as I wanted her to read you as I do. She is very good, but she usually charges, which doesn't sit well with me. I know you understand that more so after reading your friends palm last night. How can you charge for that? That's why I don't tell many people. I do have the ability to read Auras, which you have as well, but I suspect you've never been shown how to. So I am fortunate in the respect I can see who to approach and who to avoid. xx

I haven't yet. What do I have to do? X

The best way to do it when your learning, is too use a plain white or black back ground. Focus your eyes just past your hand. You know when you see heat rising off a road surface, it's hazy? That's what you need to latch on to. Don't look directly at your hand; just past the tips of your fingers. Once you latch on to it; you will start to see a colour, that's your Aura. The more you practise, the easier it becomes. Xx

Ok thank you. I'll try it. I'll let you know. Different colours mean different things I guess..x

Yes, once you've seen it you can't help but not see Auras. But it's a beautiful gift, you know who to stay away from xx Anyone with a dark grey Aura, avoid. White is protection from guides. Pink is love, red is a deep anger, blue is healing, unless it's very dark,( that's negativity) green is learning, yellow is money, orange is calmness xx

Ok ill try it later. Loads of writing first. Stuff to say again...lol..x

Forgot the most important one of all! Purple is spirituality, a person with a purple Aura is a gifted medium xx See; it's the need to speak the truth, the truth that's within you. The truth will heal you and set you free; remember truth is where the light is, the light that will always protect you. xx
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So what exactly were these words about.  Genuine encouragement? A distraction from what was really going on at the time? Empty platitudes or a way of gaining her trust?  
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Charlatan or Confidant? - Part 1

26/9/2016

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Reliving events, that brought us to spain.
My Dead nan will pay a visit!

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At the end of March, 2015, after  suffering at the hands of my sociopathic boss, I was signed off sick.  About a month later I received communication from a work colleague, I will call her Penny, another Manager like me, who also worked in our region. I was not in the habit of having work friends on facebook, so although she could message me, she could not add me. It was a professional decision, not to add people, who I worked alongside. 

This was a strange message, where Penny talked of being a medium and currently in contact with my dead Grandmother,  Now I am a firm believer in mediums, am a Palmist myself and have a keen interest in tarot, but something didn't quite ring true.  At the time I was recovering from a Bipolar relapse and I suppose was at a vulnerable point in my life. From the advice I have taken since, I was told I was more open to suggestion, at this stage.

Whilst working for the charity, that caused me so much pain, I was told to keep my distance from Penny, by my boss, but was never given a reason why.  I always kept away from her and avoided conversation. This 'psychic message', was a way for her to get to me, to have me invite her into my life, at a time, when I should have been getting well; this woman was trying to finally become my friend; it worked! Darrell told me to trust her;  I still had doubts, but followed his advice.

I am including a transcript of her opening messages to me and my reply. I was amazed by what she was saying, it was my Grandmother, every word of it!  I am writing about this, well and in fine fettle, and as I realised a long time ago, the information she gave me, were the words I had written online in a blog entry a little time before, I was just too ill to realise.

OR WAS IT?  WAS SHE ACTUALLY GENUINE?

As a 'believer', I still want to trust what she said was bona fide and she had my best interests at heart,  The counsel I was given, suggested she was a charlatan, probably sociopathic, like our boss and used her position, knowledge, Darrell's acceptance and perceived power to infiltrate my life further, cause maximum harm and get away with what she did.

There are  authentic psychics and mediums out there.  I have seen a few and know a couple.  This person used others vulnerability to push her way into our life; she even had an invitation to our Wedding.  Luckily, I saw her for who she was in the end.

I have altered the names in the transcript below, but everything else is unchanged.  I will be publishing the full transcripts of what was said between myself and her over the next few months, so people can see, how a sociopath and bully can muscle their way into a person's life, just to cause harm; as readers, you may also think differently, you may believe she was genuine! For the short period, she remained a friend, my life got worse.  As soon as I told her to go away for want of a better phrase, my life, once again was mine!
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​My Dead nan will pay a visit
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Penny's words are in light green script, mine are in dark blue!
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27 April 2015

Hello you! I hope you are feeling better? (With all my heart, that's a sincere question, not a platitude btw)! I have a "strange" question/comment for you. Are you well before I say it though? xxx You will understand; or so I'm told?? Xxx

Ps! I don't "normally" contact people like this! But the lady who is with me; is doing my head in!!!!oh as you may of gathered, I'm a medium and she knows you know?? X

I am confused Penny. A Medium knows me? who? x

Vi?? She wants you to look closer within, to see what matters! She keeps showing me a pocket watch and saying time is all that you need! Plus the blue necklace does not go! x Ps.. I'm the medium btw. But would prefer if you kept that quite x Pearls please??? But you will understand that x

Are you on drugs Penny. You have lost me totally...x

Nope no drugs! A beautiful lady called "Vi" be it violet or Vivian has been on my case for 3 weeks! Tell him tell him!!! Etc... She's laughing now; I know you know who she is?? X

I really don't. I don't know any mediums...x

Haha bless you! I'm the medium

Am I talking to Penny? x

But please don't make that public! x Yes you are! X Talking to Penny that is! X

Send me your number I'll ring you...x

Omg! What's she wearing???? Look to her neck! xxx Ps yes that's her! Xx Now do you believe me? Twin set if pearls? How in earth could I of ever known that?? Channel number 5? Please meditate and call her... She's waiting to speak to you! xxxx Am 
so sorry if that had freaked you out.... But she assures me you are ready to receive her xxx

28 April 2015

Is it ok if I add you to a physic development group? I've just won a reading: and have donated it to you. I won't add you until you get back to me though. Xx

Hi Penny...that's fine. Was a bit freaked yesterday. I am writing what happened in my blog. I'll send you the link when I have finished..No names mentioned! x

I'm sorry if I freaked you out; wasn't my intention at all. I will add you to the group; you will need to take a recent selfie; Sally is a wonderful lady. It's a closed group; but I know it will help you immensely. Xxx

I can't add you as your not on my friends list. Will send a request add you to the group, then take you off my friends list again; is that ok? X

I will add you..x

Cool now I can add you x

Can you pop onto the group Luke? She's asking after you ta xx

I was a bit freaked out yesterday. A person I hadn't seen in a long time turned up in the evening. We were talking. He was telling me that his cousin had gone missing. He had stolen a lot of stuff from his mother, including a diamond and saphire necklace, just as you described. I have no idea if that is related, but I was gobsmacked! x

Probably!! Lol so sorry xx It is a bit of a "head fuck" when it happens to you first hand xx

I'll get to the end of the blog, then ill message...x

Cool. Xx


http://darrenvranjes.weebly.com/blog/my-dead-nan-will-pay-a-visit
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I have just read it; beautiful words Luke. Please remember she is not here to harm you in any way shape or form. She is here to help you, offer you love guidance and support. I'm truly sorry if I caused you any upset; but she was quite clear that you in the "right place" to receive her. xxx

Darrell's reaction was belief. That is a first for him. I will do a lot of thinking today and either give u a ring tonight or tomorrow. I am not as open to such things now, only through illness. That doesn't mean I am closed either. To have such abilities must be a double edged sword for you. The concept is difficult to comprehend, but since my NEWS it has been a constant in my life. Hugz x

I suppose it is and it isn't; the biggest fear is to upset or frighten people when you pass things into them. But once the shock passes; they read deeper into what message they have been given and find great peace and comfort in it. There are sadly as with all walks of live; a lot of charlatans about. People that charge money, and make a living off of another persons, grief/sorrow/ loneliness etc.. Darrell was "converted" if that's the correct phrase? When I had spoken to him. Please if nothing else, do try and meditate, it will offer you peace, stability and harmony x
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So this was the opening gambit from a charlatan or confidant? In all honesty I haven't made up my mind what or who she was.  I was recently told, that now is the time to get my thoughts down in my blog, about that period, before we came to Spain.  One can certainly look from a different perspective and see the truth behind the lies.  What happened to me was terrible in every sense, but at least I have words and can finally publish my thoughts at an altogether better time, where I can look back at those events, subjectively, without prejudice!
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Tasha Lynch!

26/9/2016

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Over 5000€ was raised for Tasha Lynch at The Charity Variety Show, at The Pub in Masa Square.  What a fantastic achievement for the organisers, as well as all those who took part and contributed.  I have to say, I had a fantastic day in The Square.  I am including a short video from the day, produced by the Gran Alacant Advertiser, the publication I write for. The community pulled out all the stops here for Tasha, as they always do on these occasions.  It's why I love living in GA so much.  Well done everyone!
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Aunt Beryl's Roasties

25/9/2016

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In true Spanish style, I made the Sunday Roast today, making extra roasties for the freezer.  Cheaper, more economical, the Spanish way. Learning to cook as the Spanish do, has been an experience; one I am very grateful for!
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Struggle!

25/9/2016

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If somebody was to ask me, for one word that sums up my life, that word would be 'STRUGGLE'.  So many people I know, just sail through life, like nothing matters. For me it has been very different; today, as I write this, it is another prime example of why my life is so different to other people's.  The situation I find myself in, is not ideal. Struggling to restart my life, in a foreign country, without my partner, with no money, is probably the biggest challenge thus far, apart from the reasons that brought me here in the first place.  As I lay in bed last night, I was trying to think about these testing times and whether or not there was any pattern to them happening.

From an early age, wrestling with sexuality, I found everything difficult to cope with. Not being able to talk to someone, about the most important aspect of one's life, is hard.  Things are not, as they are now, with someone  to talk to, at the end of a phone. There was no access to anyone.  Consequently, one does tend to deal with everything oneself.  Early on, as a teenager, I probably made the decision to be independent, stand on my own two feet and just get on with life; no emotion, no anger, just a rejection of other people.  After all, they were not going to be there for me, when it mattered, only I could do that.  I became very independent, but all the while craved for some help or guidance in my life.  There was absolutely no one, to be there for me.

Despite having friends, some of whom knew about my sexuality, it was a very lonely time and between 1987 and 1995, when I met Darrell, I really struggled with life.  It wasn't just sexuality I wrestled with, it was everything, every single, damn thing!  I couldn't manage money, found forming friendships difficult, I writhed at social situations and most debilitating of all I suffered with depression and anxiety, which of course made situations worse.  All the while, I talked to no one.  Remember, I came from that time, where we didn't speak about our problems.  

When I met Darrell, I felt low, didn't understand myself or who I was and at the end of my tether. To be honest, I believed my life's problems would just go away after meeting my new partner, but if anything they got worse.  I had spent so long blocking out my feelings, that when I found someone I loved, I just couldn't open up, as a person any more.  That really affected our relationship and made our endeavours doubly hard.  I carried on acting as though I was single, believing, I had to deal with my problems and issues, when in fact Darrell could have helped me far more than I realised.

Our time together has always been hard, From day one, sexuality and Nationality presented unique complications that were difficult to overcome.  Even today, after 21 years together, we are separated because of these obstacles.  They will never be resolved in our lifetime.  Our fight was different to most; Bipolar also compounded these difficulties, exacerbating the 'cons' in our life further.  For me, I just wanted an easy ride for a change, but it just never happend.  Something worse always rears its ugly head, and we are thrown off track, from brief periods of success. In all honesty, this has much more to do with other people than ourselves.  During successful times, we seem to collect the worst people in our life, only there to take. When the money dries up, they are gone again. So although we have enjoyed these good, productive times, I actually prefer the periods of inaction, because we are the only two battling to get through the hard times; there is nothing to take and people tend to keep their distance.

I often sit quietly at home, thinking to myself; Why have other people got it so easy? What did I do wrong to deserve the constant battling?  When will we finally be happy and not have to go through all the hurdles we have too?  These are all perfectly normal reactions and thoughts to what I consider to be an abnormal life.  Now here's the thing, I have been waiting to get at.  I have spent a lot of time thinking, speaking to people, as I am allowed to now and forming my own conclusions, about just how bad my life really is.  Even as I write these thoughts down, I am coming to further revelations about my way of thinking. 

OK, so I haven't had an easy life, far from it, but has it really been that bad?  I have struggled far more than my friends and those I went to School or University with, but is it really any worse than what others go through.  A part of this problem, is of course me. I believe I am the author of my own destiny, and I have got myself to where I am. Point blank, it is my fault.  This is a blog entry about feeling sorry for oneself, as I do from time to time.  It is also an entry about realisation.  Words on a screen teach us lessons, as this has.  Compared to ninety percent of the World, my life is good.  I have a roof over my head and wonderful friends, a little money in my pocket and plans for the future.  OTHERS DON'T!  I am also relatively healthy, OTHERS AREN'T!  Above all I have a happy, long lasting relationship, OTHERS ARE STILL LOOKING!

As I am typing, that bloody programme  'Escape to the Country', has come on.  People with too much money, looking to buy an expensive house, with more space than they need, while others go hungry.  This is just a show about excess and greed.  I used to watch it all the time; in envy, and wish I had what these people could afford. There, I've turned it over now;  I will never have their sort of money and have no idea why I continue to watch it, force of habit I guess.  When I look at the people who are buying these places, I often believe how easy their life is, or has been.  I don't actually know that, it is just something I believe and assume.  They may well have struggled like me and worse, who knows!

So Have I really struggled?  Well compared to those I know, yes, undoubtedly; far more than my family ever have, far more than most of my friends and far more than the majority of people I know and converse with today; but no, I haven't struggled so much compared with most!  We all want life to be a little bit easier, but the fact life was hard for me, has taught me a great deal.  It gave me independence, self reliance, morals and a sense of what is right and wrong.  I never take from others, always give, help those who need it, still accord to charity and always, always put others first.  That can't be bad, can it.  So my life is not the worst, but until I start writing these blog entries, I never really know how they are going to end.  I expected to whinge and whine, woe is me and say how bad it has been, but actually I can't.  I've enjoyed every minute of it, wouldn't change it for the World!


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Phone Call!

25/9/2016

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Just got off the phone to someone who works at the charity I used to. They got my number from 'Spanish Views'. Sadly they are suffering the same situation, I did, just over a year ago; caught me by surprise a bit.  I've given as much advice as I can. I really do hope that one day, very soon, this charity is brought to justice!
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These kind of blogs do work.  I have been writing about my experiences, at the hand of Sociopaths for nearly two years now; the response has been more than I could have ever expected.  In reality, I thought I was alone, suffering at the hands of some terrible individuals; nothing could have been further from the truth.  Sociopaths exist in every walk of life; charming and agreeable, on the surface, wonderful people to know.  This is why, when the truth finally comes out, their victims find it very hard to cope with.  In many cases they try and take their own lives.  The revelations can be that harmful.  

In my case, I never fully understood or knew the extent to which these people infiltrated my life.  I was told of the damage it would cause, if I became aware of the full truth.  At present I ignore the information I have, as I try and rebuild my life.  I do want to know, exactly what happened eventually, but I understand, how difficult it is at the moment. I have still not fully recovered from the horrendous disclosures, confirmed to us recently. Time is a great healer. As I make a last attempt to close this awful chapter in my life, I will have to face up to some utterances that I may not wish to hear.  With closure comes the truth, so everything must be brought out in the open.

I understand the pain this person is going through, because I still relive it every day, myself. Every night I close my eyes, I see the faces of those who caused and are still causing so much pain to others. I am obviously no longer scared.  Let them do their worst;  my feelings are complete revulsion and anger, that a charity would allow its employees and volunteers cope with all the violations and indignities that are a part of sociopathic behaviour.  These are terrible people, who should be brought to justice, but it seems the reputation of this organisation is more important than life itself.  What a terrible World we live in, that a group of Managers and Trustees would allow this inexcusable behaviour to continue.

My heart does go out to you.  Please continue to read my other blogs, where you will also find a list of helplines and groups who can help.  You can of course ring me anytime you wish, if that helps.

​0034 657 51 55 32

It is very difficult living with the fact, you were the victim of a Sociopath.  There is very little information on the subject and even fewer qualified people you can speak to, but there are a few out there.  Please be careful, who you choose to talk with, because it is also a sad fact, that Sociopaths will infiltrate these helplines and groups, to cause even more harm to victims.  

It hasn't ended for me, not by a longshot, but I can, at least, today, give advice to others experiencing what I and many more of my colleagues did.  You will get stronger, as time progresses.  Until then, take as long as you need, to get well again and recover, at least a small part of the person you once were. ALWAYS REMEMBER, YOU ARE NOT GUILTY OR RESPONSIBLE. WHAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE HAPPENING, IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING.  NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF!

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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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