Category: Christmas Thoughts - Roaming Brit

From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

Christmas Thoughts - My Aunt, Patricia Doe!

25/12/2018

Starting from the two people that created and facilitated my Christmas memories – My Mum and Dad. My childhood memories, some bitter sweet, with an absent father away at sea providing for us as a family. The beautiful tree in our lounge and the wall decorations and friends popping in and out. Obviously being a child, I thought Santa did all the hard work, buying, wrapping and delivering my presents at the end of my bed and under the tree.

How to start my ‘Christmas Thoughts’ posed the question, where would I start. Then a Christmas present from my beautiful daughters gave me the focal point.

I can state the positive, enduring traditions I used the create with my own twist, for my children and now with my Grandchildren. I am sure my own children have their positive memories from special Christmas times but as they got older, conflicts and dynamics and having their own families have changed some memories; unfortunately facts of life.

Our home has always welcomed close friends who have helped to leave enduring memories with laughter, love and at times, tears of joy.

One thing Christmas also taught me, as a Mum of four, was the stress, financial pressure and sheer hard work involved, but was priceless to see four joyous, smiling faces.

Now these faces belong to my wonderful Grandchildren, also family, some new to the Christmas table and friends; different joyous young faces. Their will be empty chairs, but those family members will be in my heart, with the hope 2019 will bring them back to celebrate the love I strive to recreate..

Please spare a thought for those that will be emotionally suffering, who for Christmas will experience mental health problems, due to sadness, loneliness and today’s stressors. We who work in acute mental health will be there over the festive period to support them,

A final thank you to my dear family, friends and to my departed Mum and Dad for making Christmas so special.

Patricia Doe

Christmas Thoughts - Darrell Martin, my husband and partner for 23 years!

24/12/2018

"Now don't for one second think I'm writing this because I love Christmas. Christmas is something we always would treat as extra days off to have a party or go out. I never had family in the UK so it definitely was a free chance to get over the eight weeks of "Christmas in retail" exhaustion.

Twenty years of having man flu Every Christmas makes an Australian quite bitter. But it's very different here in Australia. Only 4 weeks and I'm happy about that and more than anything I'm happy I get to spend it with my mum in her last months. I've bought presents and cards and got into the spirit a little. Please don't assume I'm born again it's just my mum made Christmas great for me as a child. I can now return the favour at a time that's crucial.

Everyone should go home for Christmas because even if you don't care for it, a close member of your life may be waiting for you to come home. Mum waited for 22 years and I refused to buy a ticket that time of the year due to being too Croatian about money. I guess these months will make up for it. I'm very lucky my best friend came to my mum every year for Xmas. I will never forget her good deeds and that is the spirit of Christmas. Don't forget.

So unfortunately I cant be with Luke this year and all our extended family in the UK. We were never really close to the family before but I can see the change coming now. Pretty sure its old age that's doing it. So I best get used to buying presents in the future cause in many ways I need family more than I ever imagined now. I get the presents thing now. Its actually just plain old polite manners. Especially if your being fed and given a bed. But you could say that about any old day couldn't you? Wishing you all a happy any old day and no loneliness xxx"

Darrell Martin

Christmas Thoughts - Tash Evo!

23/12/2018

"Stand up for what you believe in, even if you're standing alone!"

Tash Evo

Christmas Thoughts - Amanda Wren-Grimwood!

22/12/2018

"My Christmas thoughts?

I really thought that I would still be living in France this year. Christmas Eve would be long queues for huge boxes of oysters with French families, having a chat while the staff brought around glasses of Pineau de Charentes, an aperitif, at 10 O’clock in the morning! This year it will be different as we have just moved back to the UK and to a totally new part of the country. It has been exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time.

My boys are now adults and my eldest son has recently got married. Christmas is no longer about toys and gadgets. We exchange token presents and concentrate instead on family time for when we can get together. There’s nothing better for me than pottering in the kitchen cooking with my boys or my daughter in law. I’m not talking about buying expensive food or spending hours in the kitchen either. I’m a food blogger and I spend a lot of time developing recipes, so I will be taking some shortcuts and popping into the shops for something frozen and ready made. We do always have a free-range turkey but there won’t be a fancy way of cooking it!

My Christmas day will involve a long walk with my Weimaraners, a walk down to the pub for a few drinks and back for lunch and games for the three of us. I used to have eleven for lunch every year and regularly managed to stress myself out trying to make everything perfect for everyone. Nowadays I’m looking for any excuse to put my pyjamas on and chill out. If anyone moans about being hungry, I direct them to the fridge!

My message to everyone would be to look after yourself this Christmas. Enjoy time with loved ones but don’t try to please everyone all the time."

Amanda Wren-Grimwood

Christmas Thoughts - Frances Knott!

21/12/2018

"At Christmas all roads lead to home in our hearts and parents who are no longer here. x"

Frances Knott

Christmas Thoughts - Liam Parish!

20/12/2018

Being an adult at this time of year is kind of unfortunate.. The joy, the excitement, the anticipation is not the same anymore... You could even say it is a chore, what with the expense, the stress, the copious amounts of food we buy and don't eat and the fuss we all make for one day of the year. But, for me, its much more than that, even as an adult Christmas still holds a special place in my heart...lets face it there isn't much to look forward to nowadays but Christmas is different its a time most of us can finally relax after a long year of doing 'adult' things, enjoying family time if we are lucky enough to be able to, watching lots of TV after consuming 6000 calories in one sitting and not being able move for the next few hours.

There's no other time of the year that we all can celebrate a religous holiday no matter our beliefs; for a child especially, it is magical, its most likely our best childhood memories. I enjoy remembering the feelings of wonder and intrigue from trying to work out how Santa got through my gas fire unscathed (he apparently had a magic key to our door), the fact he always managed to finish his sherry we left for him but only managed a bite of his mince pie and Rudolph only had half his a carrot, the smells, opening that special door on our advent calenders for that slightly bigger chocolate we had been eyeing up for the past 24 days and of course the presents.

Oh how i miss those innocent days, not having a care in the world; finally being allowed to go down stairs in the morning and seeing all the presents that were delivered by ol Saint Nick, after being told by our shattered parents that 4.30am was not an acceptable time to be tearing through our presents, although we all know we snuck down to open a corner without them knowing...

I would not change those memories for the world, its what we all crave to experience, the magic of Christmas as it should be. The people we are closest to and choose to celebrate with wont be around forever and we should cherish the time we all get to be together as a family, as friends or whatever it may be. I really feel for people who are less fortunate but there are heroes out there who will strive to give the less fortunate the best Christmas possible, who will give up there Christmas to ensure others experience it in the best way possible; such as the burger van owner in my local city centre who will be opening on Christmas day and providing food and drinks free of charge to the homeless. I think of him and all the individuals who will be giving their time to the less fortunate, with the utmost respect. The Christmas spirit is still alive and it warms my heart. Merry Christmas to all and a prosperous new year."

Liam Parish

Christmas Thoughts - Katie Lizzy Stewardson!

19/12/2018

"Christmas to me is about friends and family coming together, putting the ipads down, the phones away. The one day people should interact without technology glued to their hands.

This Christmas is a very different one for me, this year in general has been very different for me. I have opened my eyes and viewed the world in a different perspective. A better one I don't know?

December is always a month of stress, organising festivities, wrapping presents. This year the only present I truly wish for is for my friends and family to be happy.

The new year brings resolutions big and small, hope for a better year and even a new start for some. You never know what the future will bring, sometimes you just have to go through the tough patches in order to find ourselves. Where ever you all are or what you are all doing, put the phone down, and turn the TV off; spend the time with people you love, cherish the moments and make memories, you will become a better person and perhaps a sense of happiness and joy will arise from the darkest place.

I wish you all a beautiful Christmas and a kinder New year, because a sprinkle of kindness has a ripple effect Xxx"

Kattie Lizzy Stewardson

Christmas Thoughts - Sharna Parker!

18/12/2018

"Christmas isn't about what's under the tree it's about who's around it. Cherishing family moments whilst remembering the people who sadly can't be here. Making it exciting for children and keeping the magic alive" xxx

Sharna Parker

Christmas Thoughts - Aaron Reeds!

17/12/2018

"Greatness is not what you achieve, it's what you overcome"

Aaron Reeds

Christmas Thoughts - The Ghosts of Christmas Past by Luke Martin-Jones!

15/12/2018

There was me expecting a boring Yuletide; nothing could have been further from the truth. I was doing my best, trying to celebrate a traditional Noel, spending a fortune on all the best things, any 'normal' family has during this festive period. The one factor I always forget, is that we were not a normal family. I invited a member of my volunteer team round for Christmas dinner, together with her son. A three course meal, home made soup, roast turkey, cola ham and all the trimmings. Lots of alcohol, tins of roses and luxury crackers from Mr Singh on the corner!

With our 'normal' friends over, I spent the whole day in the kitchen cooking; the biggest f*ck off turkey I could find, because that's what it’s all about ….. RIGHT? Christmas carols played on the radio, the smell of cooking filled the air, the chink of crystal celebrated the day. After dinner, we watched TV, The Queens Christmas broadcast, talked about the year ahead and managed to catch forty winks; finally like a bloated whale, suitably fed, I laid on the sofa, trying to ease my pain!

I didn’t have a 'normal' family back then, not in the time-honoured sense. I did however have a gay family. The only family that really mattered at the time. On Christmas Day my mad wayward gay daughter Lee Ralphie Ralph sheepishly phoned, offering an olive branch after we both fell out a few weeks before. I never approved of his insane behaviour and the dubious company he kept, not forgetting his yo yo relationship that I would publicly attack at any given opportunity, causing more problems for Lee!

It was the season of goodwill to all men; drawing the line at all, what I really meant was most. Being the charitable person that I am, I told Lee he could come down for the evening. In typical style he arrived, drunk, slurring, a little more strange than usual, with what I assumed was his latest 'special friend', baring gifts of joy, left fermenting from years gone by!

We shouted a bit, scratched each others eyes out and slapped a few cheeks, each of us trying to get one over the other. Posturing like a pair of peacocks, we growled like lions, biting one another’s head off. In the gay world ‘one-upmanship’ is commonplace, part of the life we lead. He had taken something, this wasn't normal, he was happy and glowing; this wasn’t the daughter I knew. Our Lee had his addictions, which are vast and many, but he'd discovered the joys of happy pills, a little something to get him out of bed and focus his mind on the day ahead. Even I can't recall the last time I experienced happiness in all its amazing glory, surrounded by loved ones under the sparkling lights of the tree.

Christmas presents opened, expectations low, I was surprised at just how swimmy I got. ‘I'll just have half, maybe a pint or two later.’ I didn't like to indulge too much back then, with my ailments, age and mental disposition. Well to cut a long story short, that was it, I don't remember much thereafter!

Now my house had always been open to all, welcoming, liberal, a place to unwind; If you stayed for the night, you may well have seen things you wish you hadn't; the front door was always there and useable. I obviously didn't make a point of allowing lurid behaviour and tried to encourage piety, devotion and godliness 24/7, but it has happened, especially when Lee, plies one with ‘Christmas Cheer.’ He had got me in some states in the past, but to be honest I was pickled. The sherry trifle had gone to my head, and I did some things, no daughter should see. Unbeknown to me he had his little camera, to record such fond memories for the family album, ‘Drawing Room Whispers’ he called it, clicking away, getting all the best angles, photographs telling the story of Christmas 2014. She knows how to make the best of what she has.

Things happened in between, oh how we laugh about it now, but at that time, it all seemed a bit weird, so as we often did, me and our Lee fell out, both him and I were out for each others blood.

There were certain people who were in my life back then, who I wish had never been. People of low moral standing, those who feed on others pain and live a miserable existence. At the time after much consumption I felt obliged to speak to one such individual, due to the nature of threats made against my home ‘Gay Capri,’ a few days before. (Someone said something to a friend of a friend, you know the sort of thing.) In my book if you do something wrong, be a man and admit it; no such luck. The excesses of the day were beginning to cloud my judgement, happiness turned to strife. In order to defuse a rather tense situation and hopefully get my combatant to see sense on a number of different issues, I debated candidly over the phone, all the while my arch nemesis was taking my honesty as reason to gossip. With me and Lee at loggerheads, me screaming down the phone, she does what she does best and dug the knife a little deeper. Rumours abound, comments made, she rattled my old bones.

Back on the sunny side of the City, Gay Capri was dealing with more pressing matters. Christmas festivities were getting jiggy. The arrival of my other gay daughter Jamie and pregnant mother to be Kirsty, Jay and Natalee, brought a particular eccentricity to the festivities. Kirsty was in a bit of a mood, eating Twiglets by the bucket load, badly in need of cheering up, Jamie was his usual vacant self and Jay wanted to be centre of attention, as was usual on these occasions. Once again my expensive, extensive, couture wig and designer outfit collection was raided and the family looked radiant that Christmas weekend. Our Natalee bought some more memorable items from her revealing collection of themed costumes and Jamie took an instant shine to them all. The next few hours were rather a blur; a house full of madness wrapped up in sparkling dresses, dazzling jewels and plenty of slap!

We dressed for Baby Georges pram/trolley, multifunctional tartan vehicle, test drive, how stunning we looked. Jamie had his 1970s retro bakelite rotary phone in case of emergencies and a bag full of supplies, in case we got lost. Suitably attired, We headed towards The Avenue to wave at the cars on this fare Christmas eve. Due to the stunning nature of our looks and style, a strange man, almost aggressive in nature, disguised in a real fur hat and big glasses flashed his lens at us all the way there and back. To our surprise we later discovered the man in question was Jay, capturing the moment for his album of people he'd most like to shag....Beautiful we were!

I also spent time with dear old friends Dale, SJ and Claire on New Years Eve, having the best time ever. I hadn’t grinned so much in years, smiles so big, it warmed my heart. Laughter, drama and feelings of comfort and joy; It really was great to see people happy, surrounded by friends and loved ones. This would be the last time, we would all be together as a truly united gay family; a time of healing, comradeship and being who we wanted to be.

Many things happened there after, too many to recall today. Gossip and rumour, bitching and humour, fun, frolics, seasons greetings and traditional salutations. Text messages received in close succession, difficult to read, magnifying sheet in hand, squinting with determination, I did my best to see the screen. A swirling mess, who had indulged a little too much, finally relaxed after such a difficult year!

My concerns for the wellbeing of my friends, our reputation and dignity, were well voiced that Christmas. As the weeks rolled on the language of discontent got louder and louder as those, so bitter tried to destroy our character. Suffering with depression, at the time on medication, I was able to see past the charade and deal with the muddle and confusion. It’s not until you spend time with like minded individuals that you finally realise your place in the World, see past the platitudes and form opinions based on mutual understanding, supported by those close.

Getting people to finally see the truth is hard, especially at Christmas; most don't listen; even intelligent people with a head on their shoulders. Christmas 2014 remains the last ‘Gay Christmas’ I ever had, surrounded by friends and foes alike, Since then I have grown a lot and wouldn’t even consider entertaining anyone I didn’t like or feel comfortable with anymore. Gay people can be overly dramatic, full of their own self importance and lack the empathy most rational individuals have. I had some fantastic Christmases, spent with some truly wonderful friends over the years, but none so uplifting, strange and noteworthy as 2014, remembered with fondness because of its impact on my life today!

Four years later I am surrounded my family and friends, celebrating in a more conventional way. There wont be any dressing up, endless partying for days, shouting and screaming, lies and scandal. The memories this year will mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life, so different than before, a different kind of magic where less is most certainly more.