Category: Visits From Friends

34-Year-Old Friendship Rekindled — The spectre of growing old!

5/10/2024

Age came rushing head long into my life this week, and, thankfully, not for the wrong reasons. A friend from the UK who I haven't seen in 34 years was in Perth, and I knew I had to see him.

Back in the dim and distant past, Wayne and I had a very close friendship, established during our time working together in the Civil Service. Despite losing touch for many years, I was determined to reconnect, and rekindle what is an important relationship. After not seeing each other for so long, I was worried by what could happen. Would he still be the same person? Would we still have a connection? And can you really rebuild a friendship after a decade and a half apart!

Wayne and I met in 1990, at a time of great change for me. I was evolving from being a shy teenager, into a deeply sentimental young man, with the weight of the World on my shoulders. Wayne was someone who taught me much about life, and for a period of time we were inseparable. Of course, a lot has happened between then and now, but when someone leaves significant footprints on your heart, you know you have to make the effort!

Back in the early 1990s, I had a small group of friends from college. After the odd afternoon out at The Jolly Sailor, our local hostelry of choice, they would drop me off at Wayne's house in Gosport, where I would try to sober up, before heading home. Wayne looked after me in some terrible states. He made sure I was fed and watered, and we formed a close bond. Our friendship was brief on the scale of things, but it was also very important. Sadly, we lost contact, as Wayne moved away, and my life took me to University in Southampton.

Of course, a lot happened in the intervening years; I met Darrell and settled down, and With the birth of social media, I tried my luck, to see if I could find Wayne, initially on 'Friends Reunited.' I successfully found him, after a long time searching, and we finally got in touch once again.

Now comes the weird bit — during the time when Wayne and I weren't in touch, like me, he had relationships, different jobs, and oddly, he was living in Spain, at exactly the same time I was. Even more mind-blowing, is he was in a relationship with one of Darrell's best friends from school. Of all the people in the World, this was an unexpected connection, that fate appeared to be responsible for. You have to remember, during this period, Wayne and I were not in touch, and we only found out this mutual link relatively recently… Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, just to keep you on your toes.

This was a bizarre twist of fate, that on the surface at least, appeared to be just too much of a coincidence. However, it was, and here we were, 34 years later, chatting about it, sat outside The Belgian Beer Café, in Murray street, ten thousand kilometres from home, where I first met him, just after leaving school…

This brings me nicely on to my vlog this week. After seeing Wayne, I realised just how old I was. Wayne was still the same person I knew all those years ago, I could tell instantly from his smile; our conversation was just like picking up from where we last left off, but we were both older, much, much older, and different in so many ways. Age, for me, is quite a traumatic thing — it is a sore subject, that I do my best to avoid. I never want to admit my age to myself, but, seeing someone from your past, allows you to reevaluate just what growing old means.

Those 34 years have gone so fast, yet It really does feel just like yesterday and in many respects, it scares me that I am now in my mid-fifties. In another 34 years, in all likelihood, I'll be dead… We really are on this planet, for such a brief period of time, just the blink of an eye!

Despite my own feelings on age, It was nice to see someone from my past. I guess that is the point you realise just how far you have come in life. The 1990s were great years for me personally, and I look back with fondness at a time that allowed me to finally come out and be the person I was always destined to be. I am not in contact with many friends from that period, so it was even more important to cement a bond that would otherwise have been lost — Social media really does have a lot to answer for. It can be responsible for conflict, abuse, bullying and resentment, but it can also bring people together in a rewarding and tangible way. It's good to have Wayne back in my life, even if it has made me question for fast approaching, inevitable and challenging old age. Furthermore, it is the reopening of a story that I had believed was over, and the beginning of another chapter, and a second chance at a friendship that I had thought had gone away!

From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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