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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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34-Year-Old Friendship Rekindled — The spectre of growing old!

5/10/2024

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Age came rushing head long into my life this week, and, thankfully, not for the wrong reasons. A friend from the UK who I haven't seen in 34 years was in Perth, and I knew I had to see him.

Back in the dim and distant past, Wayne and I had a very close friendship, established during our time working together in the Civil Service. Despite losing touch for many years, I was determined to reconnect, and rekindle what is an important relationship. After not seeing each other for so long, I was worried by what could happen. Would he still be the same person? Would we still have a connection? And can you really rebuild a friendship after a decade and a half apart!

Wayne and I met in 1990, at a time of great change for me. I was evolving from being a shy teenager, into a deeply sentimental young man, with the weight of the World on my shoulders. Wayne was someone who taught me much about life, and for a period of time we were inseparable. Of course, a lot has happened between then and now, but when someone leaves significant footprints on your heart, you know you have to make the effort!

Back in the early 1990s, I had a small group of friends from college. After the odd afternoon out at The Jolly Sailor, our local hostelry of choice, they would drop me off at Wayne's house in Gosport, where I would try to sober up, before heading home. Wayne looked after me in some terrible states. He made sure I was fed and watered, and we formed a close bond. Our friendship was brief on the scale of things, but it was also very important. Sadly, we lost contact, as Wayne moved away, and my life took me to University in Southampton.

Of course, a lot happened in the intervening years; I met Darrell and settled down, and With the birth of social media, I tried my luck, to see if I could find Wayne, initially on 'Friends Reunited.' I successfully found him, after a long time searching, and we finally got in touch once again.

Now comes the weird bit — during the time when Wayne and I weren't in touch, like me, he had relationships, different jobs, and oddly, he was living in Spain, at exactly the same time I was. Even more mind-blowing, is he was in a relationship with one of Darrell's best friends from school. Of all the people in the World, this was an unexpected connection, that fate appeared to be responsible for. You have to remember, during this period, Wayne and I were not in touch, and we only found out this mutual link relatively recently… Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs, just to keep you on your toes.

This was a bizarre twist of fate, that on the surface at least, appeared to be just too much of a coincidence. However, it was, and here we were, 34 years later, chatting about it, sat outside The Belgian Beer Café, in Murray street, ten thousand kilometres from home, where I first met him, just after leaving school…

​This brings me nicely on to my vlog this week. After seeing Wayne, I realised just how old I was. Wayne was still the same person I knew all those years ago, I could tell instantly from his smile; our conversation was just like picking up from where we last left off, but we were both older, much, much older, and different in so many ways. Age, for me, is quite a traumatic thing — it is a sore subject, that I do my best to avoid. I never want to admit my age to myself, but, seeing someone from your past, allows you to reevaluate just what growing old means.

Those 34 years have gone so fast, yet It really does feel just like yesterday and in many respects, it scares me that I am now in my mid-fifties. In another 34 years, in all likelihood, I'll be dead… We really are on this planet, for such a brief period of time, just the blink of an eye!

Despite my own feelings on age, It was nice to see someone from my past. I guess that is the point you realise just how far you have come in life. The 1990s were great years for me personally, and I look back with fondness at a time that allowed me to finally come out and be the person I was always destined to be. I am not in contact with many friends from that period, so it was even more important to cement a bond that would otherwise have been lost — Social media really does have a lot to answer for. It can be responsible for conflict, abuse, bullying and resentment, but it can also bring people together in a rewarding and tangible way. It's good to have Wayne back in my life, even if it has made me question for fast approaching, inevitable and challenging old age. Furthermore, it is the reopening of a story that I had believed was over, and the beginning of another chapter, and a second chance at a friendship that I had thought had gone away!


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Bye Bye Chris and Maria!

12/4/2018

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Yesterday we said farewell to Chris and Maria, after spending the day with them in Gran Alacant and Santa Pola. Lunch at Zest, a trip along the old coast road and drinks with Tony and Joan from the Leprachaun. In the evening we popped to Rogers for a few pints and had a lovely meal in the GA Centre!

It was fantastic seeing family in Spain before we leave this beautiful country; it's just a pity we wont see friends and relatives here again. Having said that, our door is always open in Australia, despite the distance.

We will be seeing these two and other members of the family at the end of May, until then we wait with anticipation.....
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Cousin Chris and Maria!

9/4/2018

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Cousin Chris and his wife Maria arrived in Gran Alacant from the UK yesterday. They are staying in Sierra Mar, on a fleeting visit, before we both depart for Australia. I haven't seen my Cousin for about 30 years; a long time by anyone's standards, Despite the years that have passed, it was good to sit down and chat after so long.

What does one talk about after so many years apart, well family of course, what else! I haven't heard much about my kinfolk at all in recent times, so it was good to catch up on how everyone is. Happily they are well, though Christopher's Mother, my Great Aunty Ronnie, sadly passed away this Friday; sad news from back home.

I met Chris and Maria at Zest, a hundred yards from their apartment; we spent the afternoon talking about old times growing up as kids and the success and failures of what at one stage, was the biggest family in Hampshire. It was good to hear, that all my Cousins, Aunts and Uncles are enjoying the success of their labours; even though the same can't be said of me. I have never really been a master of anything, battling and struggling most of my life. Having said that I am still with the person I love, after 23 years; that is all the success I need!

Chris and Maria are here for another three days and I will try and spend as much time with them that I can. I am working tonight at LoungeD, but along with Darrell hope to spend the day with them both tomorrow. We do have a lot to catch up on and very little time to do it. The reality is, I am unlikely to see family again for many years, if ever. This is my last chance to interact with all those who are important and make up for lost time!
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Alicante!

25/1/2018

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Christopher is returning home on Saturday morning, so Darrell and I decided to take him out for the day yesterday. Once again the weather was fantastic, so we hopped in the car and drove to Alicante; a city Chris hasn't seen before.

We had a walk around the rather compact city centre, showing Chris the sites; the marina, castle and beach. We sat outside a local cafe bar and had a few pints, overlooking the sea. It was hot and the beer was ice cold, but expensive. I certainly wont be going back there again. In Gran Alacant, I pay 2€ for a large beer; at this beach side destination, 4.50€; astronomical by Spanish standards, even with the free scraps of Crisps in a bowl. These were British prices, something I am not used to paying, so being presented with a bill for 27€ was rather shocking.

Next it was a stopover at McDonald's on the promenade, for a quick lunch, before moving back to Gran Alacant, for drinks at Roger's. Suitably watered, we headed towards home and the GA Centre, where we had a few drinks at Barloko, followed by an Indian; sat chatting with Paul and Natalie. It was a lovely relaxed evening. The fog was thick on the way home, as the temperature dipped to a rather chilly 8 degrees. Finally through the door I collapsed on the sofa, headphones on, listening to a bit of cheesy pop before bed!

So Chris is returning to the UK, after his three week stay. I know he has relished his time in Gran Alacant and enjoyed meeting everyone here. He hopes to return again in a few months, at which time it should be far busier. It is rather quiet at the moment, so we look forward to welcoming him again in the spring! Both Darrell and I have enjoyed having Chris stay with us, despite the expense. Have a safe trip, see you soon!
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Health, Health, Health Darling!

23/1/2018

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It was another hot day in Gran Alacant. Darrell and I were up early today; I wanted to get a few hours walking under my belt, as part of my new healthy lifestyle. We must have walked about an hour an a half in total, down to Carabassi, stopping off  at Molly Malones for a fresh orange juice, half way along. When I got home my blood pressure had fallen to a far more healthy 127/81; slightly higher than it should be, but far lower than what it has been.
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To be honest I'm not sure what I made today; Lemon Chicken with capers; a dash of white wine, served with noodles. It's the first time I've had capers and I actually quite liked them; salty with a taste of mustard.

Tomorrow, a trip to Alicante, before Chris returns to Britain on Friday!
It was a quick pitstop at Mercadona on the way home, to buy some healthy ingredients, making my own diet meals for the freezer, containing my five a day. There is no point doing exercise, if you continue eating rubbish!
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Goulash!

17/1/2018

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It was a quick trip to Dialprix this morning,  to get ingredients for a goulash I was making. Chris popped along with me, mesmerised by the array of English products on Offer. I have to say, Dialprix is perfect for all those British essentials, hard to get elsewhere. He found a few things, he hasn't seen before as well; namely the 'Brocolli Flower,' in the photo above. So it`s been an old fashioned day of cooking for me, as Darrell slept after his night shift. I've got three days off, so can't think of anything better to do; that and writing, of course!
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Roast!

12/1/2018

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Cooked a roast last night; despite Chris only being here for a while, it's been good to cook for someone else other than  Darrell and myself. When Chris lived with us ten years ago, I was always looking after his culinary needs; best of all he actually quite likes my cooking!

We were talking last night about various different aspects of life, both Christopher's and ours and I was surprised to hear, Chris is nearly 30 years old now. I think myself and Darrell met Chris in his teens, so we have known him nearly 13 years. Time really does fly so fast, the older you get.

Despite moving to Spain, I am lucky to have so many amazing friends, back home in Southampton; people that visit often, Just like Chris. Yesterday, I crossed off another week on the calendar, as someone else booked to stay with us in June. I am happy that we receive so many guests; they still offer that link to home, which is important for me, living my life as an Expat in Spain! If you fancy a visit, just drop me a line; don't be a stranger!
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Hanging is an understatement!

10/1/2018

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It's a quarter past six in the evening and I am finally able to sit down and do some blogging. For most of the day, I have literally been hanging, after popping out for a few drinks last night; a rare occurrence for me, since I am normally working every night. 

Darrell dropped us off at Zest in Sierra Mar, on the way to work. He is currently working nights; apparently he enjoys the night shift more than the day. Personally, I couldn't think of anything worse. I have worked nights in the past myself and never enjoyed them. In fact my sleeping pattern is still out of sync now, just because of the job I had at the time!
I haven't been to my old local, Zest in a very long time; I just haven't had the time. Steve was behind the bar, a lovely guy, who comes from the same part of England as me. Gran Alacant has a lot of residents from Northern Britain, so it is great having a chat with someone whose southern credentials shine through. It was a quiet night at Sierra Mar Square; so we decided to have just a quick pint and move on to La Piedra, on Av Escandinavia; one of my favourite bars in Gran Alacant!
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Even La Piedra was tranquil yesterday. The evening was colder than usual, as the warm winter nights have given way, to a more chilly hue; not as cold as it was in November, but certainly noticeably colder than it has been for a while. 

Like Zest, I haven't been to La Piedra in a while either. Since moving to the bottom of the hill, near the GA Centre, venturing up, especially in the depths of winter can be a bit of a chore, so I do tend to avoid the difficult decent to the strip, at least for now.

​I was lucky enough to find Stella on draft, my favourite lager. I haven't had a pint of this since leaving the UK, two years ago.
Funny enough, it actually didn't taste the same as I remember and was rather disappointing. I think to be honest, I have lost my taste for the stuff, oddly preferring Spanish Mahou these days.

Natalee was on shift, finishing at 10.30pm, so we stayed chatting with her and Eduardo late into the night. I actually had a thoroughly great time; relaxed and chilled; finally dropped off home at 2am.
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I was rather drunk when I got home, which isn't surprising after a night on stella. Had I stopped there, I would have been perfectly fine this morning.

Sat in the lounge, chatting with Chris and Paul, I decided to open the Christmas bottle of whisky; bad mistake!

Finally I staggered upstairs to bed at 3.30am, where I spent the next two hours listening to cheesy pop songs, something I only tend to do, when I am in this state. I woke up at 10am, laptop still on my stomach, earphones on, Cher blaring away; which explains why I drempt about her, wearing a tight black leather mini skirt, walking down the red carpet with me at 'The Golden Globes;' go figure!

I felt rough alright, rougher than usual, not wanting to get out of bed. Darrell had just finished his night shift; bad tempered as usual; I thought it best to go down stairs instead!
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After a morning of feeling sorry for myself, I finally left the house this afternoon; showing Chris around the Gran Alacant Centre, as well as getting some shopping. Chris certainly knows how to eat me out of house and home.

Initially I went to Mercadona; I wasn't in there too long; the prices were far too expensive for my liking. 3'49€ for 3kg of potatoes, was daylight robbery, when Lidl had the same ones for 1'69€. It really does pay to shop around in Spain; never pay over the odds for anything!

I've just cooked dinner; Hungarian Goulash, Darrell is just off to work and I am going to have an evening in front of the TV. Whatever you are doing, have a lovely night!

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Visit From Home!

7/1/2018

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For the first time, in a long time, I haven't blogged for twenty four hours, I left that pleasure, to my Scottish friend Rab and his thought for the day. I have been busy myself; it was Dia De Los Reyes (Three Kings Day) yesterday, in Spain; traditionally the time, when Spanish Children are given their Christmas presents, in complete contrast to Britain's Christmas Day, on 25th December.

The Monte Mar Bowls Club, also had a fun day in Gran Alacant on Saturday; LoungeD was the venue for drinks and refreshments, during their breaks from the various activities, taking place at the bowling green opposite Plazor Mayor, where LoungeD is situated. It was a long day for me, arriving at work at 8.45 am and eventually getting home at 9.30pm. It was, however, lovely to see one of my favourite customers, David at LoungeD, with his son, who had returned briefly this new year. One of the most difficult aspects of life living in Gran Alacant, is the transient nature of those who come and go; David returns home today and I am looking forward to seeing him again in February. After work, a large bottle of Rioja was due and duly drunk. I had a slight hangover this morning but slept like a rock; the end of a successful day!

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On 5 January, Christopher, a close friend from Hythe in Southampton arrived for a visit. His brother Kiefer had stayed with us in the summer and we were more than happy to welcome Chris after two years. Chris has lived with us in the past, all of us having a close bond, formed over many years. He seems delighted to be here. The weather in the UK has been particularly bad and with most of the news travelling across the continent also downbeat, depressing and frustrating, Britain doesn't seem to be a great place to be at the moment. In fact, I have just been looking at the news from back home on the television, this gorgeous Sunday morning. The newscaster was talking about the winter Hospital crisis in the UK, bed closures and lack of investment in the British National Health Service. This is a regular occurrence at this time of year and one reason I am happy living in Spain. The NHS crisis highlights everything that is wrong with my old home and why Chris is eager to spend time away this winter. He isn't the only one; a lot of Brits, Expats and otherwise, choose to spend time on the Costa Blanca during the winter months; I'm sure Chris will enjoy the welcome change in temperature.

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With yesterday being 'Three Kings Day,' it was a Red Day or Bank Holiday here in Spain. Darrell and Chris drove into Elche, while I was at work, forgetting what day it was; everything was closed. As one resident told me: 'The Spanish are very militant about their holidays; nothing, absolutely NOTHING will be open.' After a drive back, they both spent the day in the square at Plaza Mayor, drinking cocktails at 'Rogers.' Still it was a great way to get Chris acquainted with Gran Alacant and meeting new people.

It is good to have Chris here; I know he does find it difficult at home sometimes, so he can use his stay as a much needed break, from the drudgery of life. Chris is also writing a book, so he can use his time to finish it, something he has been wanting to do for a while. Gran Alacant, is a great introduction to Spain; he may decide to go further afield and explore the glorious topography, this country is famous for; equally he made decide to return to the south coast of England!

I am happy to keep good links to the past and mine and Darrell's life in Southampton. Not everyone I knew back then are on my priority list of friends to remain contact with. I got an email the other day, from someone I knew back home; someone I wasn't entirely comfortable with. They wanted to come out and stay; probably to get a free holiday; needless to say I am not replying to the message. I am very choosy who I keep in contact with these days. My absence from those in Britain has fortunately allowed me to reassess situations, circumstances and people. Two years ago I had very clouded judgement about those who were supposed to be close, believing people to be friends when they weren't; moving away from these influences has shown me, who they really are.

Chris has just popped up to meet Natalee before she starts work, if he manages to find where she lives, which gives me time to cook dinner and get ready for my shift. Darrell is still in bed; he has work tonight and Mollie and Wildling are in hiding, not happy with our new guest. It is another glorious day today; this winter really has been warmer than usual, perfect for Chris to have a wonder around Gran Alacant, getting to know the place. Tomorrow is another Red Day in Spain, even more time to chill and discover, just what this place has to offer!


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Year In Review - Feliz año nuevo!

31/12/2017

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This will be my the final ‘year in review’ blog entry, also looking forward to the new year, as we head into 2018, after another challenging twelve months. I began 2017 in negative mood, focusing on returning to the UK, during a particularly bad winter in Spain. The house I was living in was cold and damp, rain water was slowly seeping through doors and windows, I had a severe chest infection and Jamie had left, returning home to the UK. With Darrell still living in Australia, I felt very much alone in the World, ready to call time on my adventures in Spain. I rarely left the house, staying in bed as often as I could, depressed and without hope. If I thought 2015 was bad, 2016 was even worse, I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, 2017 was going to just be another year of hardship and difficulties and I wanted out. Of course the reality of my situation was such, that returning to Britain was impossible. I had no money at all, certainly not enough to relocate to another country, twice in a year. Deep down I knew I was backed into a corner, again at the mercy of events and circumstances. The one thing I hate, is not being in charge of my own destiny. In January 2017 my mind was in a dark place; I had been here before, but never 1500 miles from home. I had no back up plan and was very much swimming blindly in a sea of contention.

Well of course I am still in Spain and despite wanting to return home, I never did. 2017 has had its ups and downs for both Darrell and myself; we do however remain resolute in our belief, that this place offers us the best chance for new opportunities and a future untainted by the past. Spain was never the easy option we had imagined, the opposite is true. We have struggled at times to keep our head above water and have had to negotiate a system that is unforgiving, unrelenting and merciless. You either survive in Spain or you don’t, there is no middle way. We have learnt to keep very much to ourselves and live a very frugal, self serving and private existence, the one aspect of life we never had in the UK. As a blogger and columnist, my life is an open book, but I am able to distinguish between professional and private when referencing mine and Darrell’s relationship here in Spain. I have made a few close friends in Gran Alacant, but have learnt not to live in and out of each others pockets; after previous experience living in the UK and all the hardships that brought. I am comfortable with my lot now, without the stresses of the past, but still not completely comfortable with my new life. I still have tension from time to time, but it is born out of life experience, not what others leave at ones door.

So 2017 was another roller coaster year, one I have managed to get through relatively unscathed. Darrell and I are both Spanish residents, pay our taxes and have been talking about buying somewhere to live permanently; life is very much rooted in Gran Alacant for now. I hope 2018 will finally be a good year, after all the hard work both of us have put in. like most people I have hopes and dreams and a few options to consider, following very much the same path, I am travelling now. As I become more settled in my new role, I am conscious that I can not take anything for granted. 2015 was littered with mistakes, missed opportunities and dubious characters, never again will I allow a recurrence of the difficulties I endured back then. Today I am very aware of what I have to do, in order to lead a successful life. I judge people everyday; if there is the mere hint of conflict, I will walk away. I have enough baggage, without taking on other peoples. In 2017 I have learned a lot About the character of those around me. I know who to interact with and who to avoid. It may well have taken 46 years, but I am finally able to walk away!

To end this entry, I want to talk a little about home, Southampton. I need to return for a short visit in 2018. The circumstances behind my leaving were extreme, consequently, I wasn’t able to say goodbye to many of those I still hold dear. As I approach my third year in Spain, I am confident enough, to tie up the loose ends, without the fear of not returning to Spain. I miss Britain everyday, but it really isn’t my home any more. A trip down memory lane, is just what the Doctor ordered, to finally lay the ghosts of Southampton past to rest, a final farewell, before I walk quietly into the sunset!

A very Happy New Year to all my friends and family, both here in Spain and abroad in the UK. Don’t be strangers, pop on a plane and come for a visit. In 2017 we were lucky enough to have many familiar faces coming through the door, we want this year to be equally rewarding.

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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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    A place to call home
    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
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