Category: Gran Alacant

Anxiety Free For Now!

23/8/2025

For once, I've had a pretty quiet week. There have been no health problems, anxiety or stress, so as the video above explains, I am feeling practically stress-free. Now that is a first for me! I am feeling that good, that I don't have any IBS symptoms, and I am actually sleeping well; better than I have done in years. Despite the nasty weather in Perth at the moment, I have absolutely nothing to complain about, now that is a shocker for me and probably you as well.

With all my health issues more or less cleared up, I am beginning to look forward to our holiday in Thailand and Singapore. This is where my mind is right now, and I am starting to feel excited about our 30th anniversary trip. I am of course making preparations to hopefully avoid contracting an infection this time around, and I am doing what I can to stop any future staph infection, from manifesting while we are abroad. Interestingly, after much research, I have discovered that probiotics could be key to beating this god-awful disease.

Normally I take a probiotic every day, but on holiday I don't. There is no real reason why, rather, I just don't take them with me when I am travelling. In Asia, I do suffer from infections, and yes, you guessed it, home in Perth, I do not. I am hoping that by taking a strong capsule daily; while touring Southeast Asia, I will be able to stop any nasty bacteria in its tracks. Here's hoping anyway! I am well aware of how destructive staphylococcus Aureus can be, so anything I can do to avoid it for a third time, is worth a try!

Just one other thing to mention, before you check out the video, and it's about a person I haven't seen in eight years. Dawn, was a fellow expat, and close friend I knew, while living in Gran Alacant, in Spain. She just happened to show up in my store in Midland a week ago — just out of the blue. She was visiting a friend here in Australia and was passing through, before travelling onto Africa.

Dawn was part of The No Wives Club in Spain. All of us, who were close at that time, had our respective partners and husbands working or living abroad. We formed a close bond, during difficult times. Sadly, we lost touch over the years and I never believed I would see her again. For Dawn to just pop up, unexpectedly, over the other side of the world, was extraordinary, but extremely lovely. It was a joy to catch up, even briefly. Sadly, I won't be able to see her again, as our paths once again take different directions. However, it was a precious moment that brought a much-needed smile to my face. Of course, I wish her all the best — and who knows, we may bump into each other again one day.

That's it this week, short and sweet — enjoy the video!

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30th Anniversary Blogs - Bullied for Safeguarding Volunteers!

7/6/2025

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Today's blog is about an important series of events that became the catalyst for my blog, 'Roaming Brit.' Ten years ago, in 2015, along with my husband Darrell, I was a victim of sustained bullying, from people who worked for one of the oldest charities in the World. This period was the most distressing and abusive time in our relationship together. Even today, I still suffer from the effects of a phase, that will forever remain a part of my psyche. I will always carry the burden of torment around with me. It was quite simply an interval, a glitch, that was responsible for a change in our circumstances, that we are still living through today, despite the memories finally fading into the background.

Bullying is something you think only occurs in childhood, but when it happens in your mid-forties, you can't believe what is actually transpiring before your very eyes. Both Darrell and I, were working alongside one another as Managers, for a large NGO on the south coast of England. Both of us thoroughly enjoyed our positions, especially working with the volunteers who worked for us. I was always taught, from an early age, to look after and protect the most vulnerable people in society. As a Manager for a charity, it was part of my remit and something I was very aware of, every day I went to work.

You can imagine my horror, when two of Darrell's paid employees, began targeting and abusing a particularly defenseless member of his volunteer team. He naturally asked me for advice. We were both in the same positions at work and as a Manager it is something we had to deal with on rare occasions. I suggested he report it as a safeguarding issue and the HR department would do the rest. I had no reason to expect anything different. Furthermore, I felt sure the organisation would do all it could to protect, the individual concerned — how wrong I was!

Not only did the charity do nothing to support Darrell or the victim, but those responsible started bullying Darrell as a result. From attacks on personal property, to homophobic abuse and attacks at work, the abuse was relentless. Darrell became ill, withdrawn, and his mental health became a source of concern. As someone who had worked for the charity longer than him, I decided to do what I could to help.

Despite doing my best to intervene, I was also dealing with a safeguarding issue at my own place of work, which was also being disregarded by my boss. Later, a former colleague also began to attack me personally, and it appeared on the surface, at least, that both of us were being singled out for protecting others.

With no support from our mutual boss, within a short space of time, we both became ill. We were advised to stay away from work, for our own health and wellbeing. Our mental health was in tatters, as we sought answers as to why nothing was being done to protect us and others. I contacted helplines and organisations who could help. I spoke with my union, ASDAW and anti bullying charities, including 'Solent Mind' based in Southampton. All of them said the same thing, we were being targeted for safeguarding others and as they dug deeper, under the surface, our sexuality was also a factor as well. I can't describe the feeling you get, when you realise you are being mistreated, for just doing the right thing. It hits you head long, like a brick in the face.

For a year we suffered, while still trying to find answers as to why we were being ignored. Despite returning to work for a brief period, in the end, just before our wedding in 2015, we both decided to pack up, sell up and leave the UK for good. Every professional organisation we talked to, said this was the right thing to do. The sociopathic nature of what we endured, would never stop until we made the decision to walk away, from the sinister nature of mistreatment we were dealing with. It took a while, but finally, after talking to family, friends and professionals, we left for a new life in Spain.

My last day at the charity was tinged with sadness, leaving the volunteers behind. We had built up a great rapport over the years, and they were a big part of my life. The Head of HR came in, to try to draw a line under this sorry chapter, and we both spoke candidly about just what had happened. She agreed the way I was treated was a disgrace, but said there wasn't much the charity could do, since its reputation was at stake. Despite knowing just how malevolent and malicious those involved had been towards us and many others, (We weren't the first) there was very little she could do. The primary person responsible was a known bully and abuser, and she had done this many times before.

Our new life in Spain was a breath of fresh air. We had a new, strong and altruistic network of friends and colleagues and an even bigger group of Expats, who helped us begin the transition from turmoil to tranquillity. We were both as happy as we could be and loving every day again on the beautiful Costa Blanca. Smiles returned to both our faces as we finally escaped the pain we left behind.

Despite writing about my experiences as often as I could, answering emails and messages from readers who were also suffering from bullying, we both enjoyed a happy existence in Spain. I received many cries for help over the two years I was living in Gran Alacant, even from those who actually worked at the charity I once held in such high regard. These were the hardest messages to reply to, and I just gave them the advice that was given to me — Never try to beat a sociopath, you will always fail!

Personal tragedy ended our time in Spain all too quickly. While sat surrounded by packing boxes in the lounge of our villa in Puerto Marino, I received an unexpected call. The Charity Commission was investigating the charity I had worked for and wanted to hear my side of the story. I was finally given an opportunity to give mine and Darrell's side of the events that brought us to Spain; it was a vindication of everything we had gone through — finally someone was listening to us.

I never found out the results of the enquiry. However, I finally realised that many others in the UK and further afield, had also suffered at the hands of people who had no place working with vulnerable people. I was made aware that changes would take place. Although nothing could be done to save mine and Darrell's careers, we were helping the commission compile evidence, against people who were distinctly corrupt and disturbing in nature, and for that they were truly grateful.

Since then, I haven't thought about that terrible time in 2015 too much. I do have days when the pain resurfaces, and I do suffer with severe anxiety every day, but my life is so much better now than it ever has been. In a way, the success I enjoy ten years later, is all down to the bullies who gave us such a hard time. So I suppose I should finally take the opportunity to thank them, for affording us the life we enjoy in Australia. So thank you — I hope you are also enjoying the fruits of your labour as well.

During the 30 years we have been together, neither of us have experienced blatant bullying and abuse. As I look back over our years together, it is painful to relive such painful experiences, but it was a time that made us stronger as a couple and more aware of the ugly nature of people. Not everyone in your life is good for you, and it really is up to you to kick them into the long grass and carry on living your best life. They were terribly soul-destroying months in 2015, but without them, we wouldn't be where we are today, and for that, fate gave us a second chance and a reason to exist again.

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A Tale of Four Countries!

30/5/2025

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Today, as part of a series of blogs, celebrating mine and Darrell 30 years together, I am writing about the attachment we both have, to various adopted homes across the World. Darrell and I have done a lot of travelling since we met in 1995 and have lived in a good few places, both in the UK and further afield. You won't be surprised to hear, we have built many emotional attachments to various countries, during our 30-year relationship. We have lived in the UK, Spain and Australia and even brought a house in France. We were both born to travel, and that will never change, no matter where we are in the World.

Currently based in Australia, I think it's safe to say we both yearn for Europe. When we bought our house in France, back in the early 2000s, we both had a dream to live on the continent. Buying a small stone cottage, in the village of Le Lande St Simeon, in Swiss Normandy, meant we finally had a foothold in Europe. Of course back then, we had no idea where we really wanted to be, so bought our house, site unseen, in the hope it would become our forever home. At the time, thousands of Brits were buying up property, especially in France, and we didn't want to miss the bus, so to speak. A small house in France, was a big step on our journey together and the beginning of a love affair, that is still very much alive today.

2000 - 2004 was a productive time for both of us, running our own business in Salisbury. Our time was valuable, and although we travelled to France once a month, our commitments prevented us from taking our French dream any further. Instead, we bought a holiday home up north in the UK and another house to rent out, not too far from our new home in Lancashire. Eventually, we made the difficult decision to sell the French house and concentrate on setting up our life together in the UK. Despite this, our European dream was still there and both of us longed for a new life away from Britain.

Nearly fifteen years after we bought our house in France, we finally realised our dream once again. After our marriage in 2015, we packed our bags and left the UK, heading to Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca and a new adventure in Alicante. This was a place we could finally call home, and we both fell in love with this little urbanization, just fifteen minutes from Alicante Airport. We had finally found somewhere we both loved and began planning for a future in Spain. Of course, it had its ups and downs, but this was what we both wanted and were determined to make this new journey work for the both of us!

Unforeseen circumstances changed our whole outlook on Spain, just a few months after we arrived. Although we loved everything about our life in Gran Alacant, it just wasn't to be. When I look back now, I am sad we didn't fight harder to stay. At the point we both finally felt settled, both our respective parents fell ill, Brexit became law, and worst of all, the Pandemic hit the World. We probably could have fought harder, but it wasn't a battle either of us were prepared to undertake. After a little over two years, we left — Darrell to Australia and me back to The UK.

My time back in Portsmouth with family was special. I made so many good friends in the four years I lived there, and that's all that mattered. It didn't end well family wise, but the lifelong relationships with people I worked with, has become a great source of comfort living in Australia. We really did make some fabulous memories to take with us, and I will always look back at my time working at Tesco, with immense fondness. Of all the companies I have worked for, over the years in the UK, Tesco has been the best, without exception. At my time of life, it is important to have memories and a sense of satisfaction. Money is no longer critical and my time living back home in Pompey, showed me how valuable friends are!

When Darrell returned from Australia, after his Mother's condition became manageable, we both planned to settle down in The UK once again. We both had jobs we loved, working with people we adored, and at the time, were extremely content with the family bonds we had. I say had, because that changed in the blink of an eye, our fate literally changed overnight; a row between us and my Cousins got out of control and Darrell and I made the decision, to leave the UK for good.

My family, no matter how much I love them, have always been rather fractured; that is true on my paternal and maternal side. It was no surprise when boiling tensions came to a head one evening at my Aunts house. I felt rejected and cast aside, but that is the nature of my family. One minute your face fits, the next it doesn't. I was never truly allowed to have an opinion living at my Aunts, and Darrell and I never really had the privacy we needed. So in many respects what transpired was good and forced us to finally make the decision to move to Australia, no matter how reluctant I had been, to move here over the years.

Mine and Darrell's life has always been a rollercoaster ride. We have had great productive periods, like when we lived and ran a business and Salisbury, but in the main it has never been stable. When you marry someone from a different continent, life will never be the easy ride your peers enjoy, although they may of course disagree.

Having lived in Australia for three years now, we are finally doing the best we ever have and achieving everything we have ever wanted. We bought a new house and car, we both have fantastic jobs we love, and we can afford to travel whenever we want. In Western Australia, we don't want for anything. If we had moved here years ago, I think both our lives would be very different today, but we didn't, and we struggled as a result.

Despite the success we now enjoy, neither of us are fully content with our life down under. People here are not as welcoming as those in Spain or The UK, and although we have a very close network of friends, who we value immensely, we don't have the integrated structure we had living in Europe. That does make for a very lonely existence if I am perfectly honest, and both of us really do look back at our previous life with envy.

We are well aware of where we are better off, however. For the next ten years at least, we will be living here, working hard to pay the bills, accumulating enough money for the next stage of our adventures. In retirement, we will probably not be living in Australia. It seems likely we will rent out our house here in WA and live a more frugal existence in Asia. Initially Spain would have been top of our list once again, but with uncertainty on the continent and geopolitics playing its part, I think we would prefer a more balanced, anchored life, in Thailand or Vietnam.

We will have many more options available, once the house is paid off, and until then we will just continue to strive for a better retirement. Neither of us knows what will happen down the road, but we can at least plan for every eventuality. We will never be multi-millionaires or indeed well off, but we will always be able to survive in circumstances, where others would simply fail. This journey has taught us much about the meaning of life and at 54 years old, it isn't over yet. Despite everything, despite the way we feel and despite the challenges ahead, both of us are looking forward to a productive future and the beginning of the final chapter in our partnership together!

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Living The Quiet Life Down Under - Nearly two years since we left the UK!

27/8/2024

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Wow, how time has flown! It has been nearly two years since we left the UK, and what a productive 24 months we have had. This time two years ago, I was busy saying my farewells to family, friends, and colleagues. It was an emotional time for me, especially since I had made some wonderful connections during my time living in Portsmouth. These were the people that got me through the tough times, when Darrell was locked down in Australia and the pandemic was raging across the World. Without these people, life would have been harder than it already was. As my World got even tougher, during our final few months in Britain, all of these people became the family I had lost.

Darrell and I have managed to stay in contact with family and friends from across the globe. We both owe them a great debt of gratitude for all they did for us, making our final weeks happy and memorable. I miss them every day; a photo on a wall cannot make up for physical contact, but both of us have memories that resonate every single day, and thankfully we have social media and video calls, to keep those friendships alive.

My oldest, dearest friend, Ramona, celebrated a milestone Birthday recently, and we spoke to each other for over an hour. Chatting about the old times, shared friends, and memorable times spent together over 32 years. Those important milestones, that we both share, have been instrumental in keeping me firmly in Australia. Ramona knows where Darrell and I are better off, and she has always been honest about where she believes the best place for us is. Ramona and I have always had an honest and open friendship, we have shared so much over the years, her advice is invaluable; she is actually one of the few people I listen to!

We also managed to speak to one of our closest friends in Portsmouth, Zerina. Not only did I volunteer for Zerina at Cancer Research in Portsmouth, but Darrell also worked for her as her Assistant Manager. She was one of the most influential people in my life, when I lived in Britain, and she is always, without exception, a joy to be around. We had some hilarious, fabulous times working together, and she has become a very close friend. She is the big sister I never had, and was a sounding board for all my anxieties. In many respects we were like chalk and cheese, but like Ramona, she always gave wonderful advice, which I listened to without exception.

These are just two people I think about daily; there are just too many others to mention, but all of them lifted me up at times when I needed it most. Unfortunately, we don't have the same friendships here, but that is a conscious choice we both made, in order to forge a successful start to our life in Australia. It has been essential to establish ourselves, and work hard in order to succeed in this new venture. The time for friendships may or may not come, but Darrell and I have each other, and that is all that matters… For now!

Of course, we do have our two cats to keep us company — Pippa and Akira. Darrell and I have always had cats in our life, for as long as I can remember, when living in the UK and Spain. Sadly, we lost our last two companions when we lived in Gran Alacant; if I am honest, I was reluctant to get any more animals — not because I don't like them, but because of the travelling life we have always led.

Both of us have travelled so much over the years, we never knew where we would be from one day to the next. My life is now firmly rooted in Australia, but it isn't a country I necessarily want to live in forever. I would like to retire to Spain or Asia at some point, and having animals will make that move more difficult. In the end, however, I agreed that we couldn't live without pets, because of what may or may not happen in the future. Our two cats really do make our home, and if the opportunity to move abroad comes, then both of them will make the journey with us. These two are our children, and wherever we are, they will be too!

Darrell and I have rewarding, successful jobs that we love. We have managed to find the perfect careers, that we both enjoy. If I am honest, I never believed I would find a secure, well-paid position this quickly. The employment market in Western Australia is rather volatile at the moment, but we have both persevered, and settled into a positive routine, that allows us to enjoy the lifestyle we have now become accustomed to. Wages are significantly higher here, compared to the UK, and five times higher than they are in Spain — I am well aware of how lucky we are!

Approaching my mid-fifties, I never believed I would be where I am today. I have worked in many jobs, and have always been able to adapt to my changing circumstances quickly. Today I am back doing what I love best, in a retail management capacity, working with some amazing people, who have become important to my success and wellbeing in Perth.

In time, I hope to restart volunteering as well, rather like I did in the UK. It has always been essential for me to give something back to the community in which I live, whether through writing in local magazines or dedicating time helping others who may be going through a difficult time. For now, with changes on the horizon, I am looking forward to the new adventures to come. There are plenty more years ahead to dedicate to all the passions I have in life, including my blogging today. Until the right voluntary opportunity arises, I am happy to do the best I can, in an industry I love.

First and foremost, I will always be English, it is part of who I am, and I am proud of my heritage. In many respects, my home in Perth is a homage to all things British. The memories I bought with me, are a reminder of home, and the pictures and photo's that adorn my walls are distinctly European in feel.

Darrell and I have travelled extensively, especially in Europe, and both of us are fond of the European continent. Despite loving the UK, its politics, eccentricities, culture and society, I am also a Europhile. Both of us lived in Spain, have family in Croatia, owned a house in France, and fell in love with Sorrento in Italy. We will always be Europeans at heart and if it hadn't had been for Brexit, we would probably still be living in Spain. Having lost my Spanish residencia during the pandemic, both Darrell and I made the conscious choice to build a life away from the UK.

With that said, I pride myself on the Britishness I hold dear, even my bad teeth. I have a painting of the late Queen on my wall, photo's of our travels around the UK on display, and of course, British staples in the pantry. I always try to buy British food in the supermarkets when I can, rather like I did in Spain, and always make a beeline for the international food isle in Coles. From Marmite, English Cheddar and Scottish Oat Cakes, to Branson Pickle, HP Sauce and Eccles Cakes, they are all there. Thankfully Aussie culture is very similar to back home, and food wise, I fit in quite well… apart that is, from the overload of Chicken Parmi in restaurants, and the fact that Australians can not cook a British Roast.

There are many aspects of the UK I miss, but I can live the English life right here if I so chose. I have been known to watch UK TV all day and then, in the height of the Aussie summer, pop down the beach and enjoy a lifestyle most Brits could only dream of — living the best of both Worlds!

... And finally, I still manage to keep fit and healthy, something I have been doing since 2019. Then I weighed a staggering 110 kg, smoked cigarettes (Up to 80 a day at one stage) and drank like a fish (a hangover from my days living in Spain and the 1 euro pints of Mahou.) After a brush with health anxiety, which I still suffer with today, I made a decision to change my lifestyle. Today I weigh 74 kg, although I have weighed as low as 70 kg, and I am not as strict as I once was. I have my good and bad days, but on average I have managed to maintain a healthy weight for five years now and have no intention of giving up.

This week we took a walk to the John Forrest National Park for a 6 km walk. The weather was rather grey and overcast, which made me feel quite at home and was ideal weather for walking. This park reminds me of El Clot De Galvany in Spain where we used to go walking, and The New Forest back in The UK. These are the places that keep my fitness regime on track and allows me to explore the local area.

I still walk every day in Australia, far more than I ever did in Spain and on a par with the miles I walked when I lived in Portsmouth. I don't drive a car, nor have I ever wanted to, so walking is my main means of transport if you like. My two legs take me everywhere, and I am actually really proud of that fact. If I did drive, I believe I would be in worse physical shape today than I am — definitely overweight and most certainly a heart attack waiting to happen. Walking is somewhat of a passion now, and a pastime I intend to keep up, wherever I live.

If these last two years in Australia have taught me anything, it's the resilience and determination I have to survive. I have had so many ups and downs in life, that a little thing, like moving to the other side of the World, wasn't going to stop me from achieving my true ambitions. I have grown to love this country, simply because it has given me everything I ever wanted, and that is important. Without Australia, I would probably still be underachieving in Portsmouth, in a country that has quite simply had its day. For the first time in a long time, I feel optimistic for the future, and can finally see light at the end of the tunnel… Life is indeed what you make it, and we are both giving it one hundred percent — things can only get better!

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A chat about Gran Alacant and my time in Spain!

25/8/2024

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Reflective mood — Remembering the last eight years!

12/2/2024

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I've definitely been in a reflective mood this week. It has been eight years since Darrell and I left for Spain in 2016. Looking back at that period can at times be traumatic. The circumstances behind our departure, and my reluctance to leave Britain, has thankfully become a distant memory. The life enhancing experience of living in Gran Alacant, has become a special reminder of a carefree period, that allowed me to recover from one of the worst periods of my life. Without Spain, I don't think I would be the success it is today.

Spain certainly taught me a lot about life; the expat community, of which I was a part, was a great source of inspiration and hope at such a challenging time. These were the people that got me through some pretty dark days, when my Mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and Darrell returned home. All of them, always, without fail, lifted me up when I was feeling low.

I have so many regrets about leaving Spain in 2018, but with my Mother also seriously ill and Darrell having to care for Mum in Australia more and more, it was a necessary departure. The timing wasn't great, with Britain voting to leave the EU, but the reality was, it just wasn't meant to be. Our dreams faded into obscurity, and we adapted to our new life apart from one another, as we spent time with our respective families on opposite sides of the World.

Today I look back at my time in Gran Alacant with fondness and have nothing but good memories of the years I spent there. If I could go back tomorrow, I would; if we had moved there a few years before, I believe our life would be very different today. Still I can't change history and despite having to leave my dream behind, both Darrell and I are finally making a success of our life, in a way we haven't in the past.

Sadly, people aren't the same in Australia, but sometimes you just have to do what is right for your future. Friendships and companionship is of course important, but earning money has to take priority. I could never have earned the wages I earn here, in Spain, and for that reason I am better off where I am. However, we will both be back in Gran Alacant at some point and hopefully retire back to the place we once called home!

This week is also the first anniversary of us buying our first home in Australia. It has certainly been an eventful and expensive year. Nevertheless, It does feel good to finally have our own place again, especially during the middle of a housing crisis down under, and we were lucky to have been fortunate, in securing a mortgage at such a difficult time economically. I do have my moans and groans about Australia, but when I look back at everything we have achieved, I really shouldn't complain. This country has been good to us, in a way the UK and Spain never were, so despite my misgivings, we are now firmly rooted in Australian life.

On Sunday, by way of celebration, we took a drive to Scarborough beach, where we met an old friend of Darrell's, Danae; She is a breath of fresh air. I do find most Australians rather stand-offish, so spending time with someone who has been welcoming and open has been heartening. With both of us working hard, we don't get a chance to see many people, when we do, it definitely puts a new perspective on life.

After a week of soaring temperatures of 45 degrees, and with more to come, I am gradually settling into Australian life. The heat has never really bothered me if I am honest, and the sun has always brought a smile to my face, but I do understand why so many people get down because of it; at times it can be relentless.

I still can't help thinking what could have been, if we had stayed in Spain, but on good days, like today, my positivity returns. I have to keep telling myself, that at least I am not living in the UK at the moment. Unlike the vast majority, I have been afforded the chance of a new life in a country far away from the unhappy memories of the past, and for that I am truly grateful… Now who could possibly ask for more!

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Christmas Memories - June Menditta (Gran Alacant's Finest!)

3/12/2023

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June

'I was working with a girl who was getting married near Christmas - register office, but a big do nonetheless. There was the white dress, cars, guests and hall booked - flowers, the lot. For some strange reason, I thought it would be funny to ring her up and pretend I worked at the office. I regretted having to inform her, that unfortunately, a horrible error had occurred, and that day wasn't now available, as there had been a double booking

Well.... she screamed and started crying - 'No, oh no, everything is booked!'.... She threw the phone down and ran into me, crying, creating and clearly so upset. Oh no, June, you cowpat!

So I calmed her down, and suggested we ring the registry office just to double-check! All was good as you know... and I suddenly become hero of the day......'

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Wat Pho - A breathtaking experience - 9 September 2023!

10/9/2023

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After spending ten days in Bangkok last year, Darrell and I have seen much of what this city has to offer. Our positive experience in 2022, is what brought us back today. There wasn't one aspect of this place I didn't like - old meets new in this city of contrasts, the Venice of the east has been an amazing introduction to Thailand and I hope to see more and more of this country as the years go by.

Of course, there were some parts of Bangkok we just didn't have time to visit last time, so we have planned to see them this time round. The largest such site, and a must-see place to go, is Wat Pho, which contains a massive, otherworldly statue of the reclining golden Buddha. On Saturday we took to the water, taking a river taxi to this famous religious site or 'Wat,' to explore this extensive complex, right in the heart of bustling Bangkok.

Wat Pho is awe-inspiring - a richly decorated Buddhist temple complex, dedicated to Buddha, situated in the Phra Nakhon District, on Rattanakosin Island. I have read a little about it, and understand it to be one of the oldest religious sites in Bangkok. However, nothing can prepare you for the majesty that confronts you, as you walk through the doors of the Temple of the Reclining Buddha itself. It really does take a lot to impress me, and I was just amazed by the sheer size and opulence of the place; it really is a sight to behold!

We removed our shoes before entering the great hall and walked silently around the golden Buddha. The sun reflected brightly off the lavishly embellished surface of the golden statue. The room itself is similarly adorned with sumptuously decorated works of art, paintings and tapestries. The temple is a place to impress pilgrims and those devoted to the teachings of Buddha. As someone who isn't particularly religious, even I was taken aback.

All around me, people were laying flowers and offerings, the air was thick with incense and people just stood looking upwards, thinking, processing the overload on their senses. The echoing inner sanctum was a welcome break from the searing heat outside, and it was also the perfect place, to just spend time with your thoughts. I stood at Buddha's feet looking back towards his head, just thinking of friends and family no longer with us. In my own way, I said a small prayer and felt at peace, reflecting on a past so different from today.

Outside, we spent several hours wandering around the immaculately manicured grounds. Smaller temples, religious icons, statues and traditional Thai architecture, all existing in perfect harmony; colourful tiled surfaces illuminated from the sun glistened brightly, as we gently strolled around this complex. Like all Wats in Thailand, there is a sense of disconnection with the real world and a deeper understanding of the eternal. This is what makes Thailand so special and a place to visit time after time.

From Wat Pho, we took the boat into the city of Bangkok, where we jumped on the BTS Sky train to Siam Square, for a bit of impromptu shopping. This is the one aspect of Bangkok I love. The Sky train is unique to the city; it isn't the most beautiful architecture in the World, but its brutalist style, a vision of the future with a distinctly 1960s feel, is truly amazing. I am always impressed by this functional, utilitarian metro system sweeping skywards. Of course, it was built this way to accommodate the growing Bangkok population cheaply. This is a far more economical alternative to the underground systems elsewhere in the World.

These high-rise structures offer a glimpse into another World. Whole communities and neighbourhoods flourish above ground, along walkways, covered with canopies, keeping commuters cool in the barmy Bangkok temperatures. This is the complete opposite of the subterranean life so common in London, New York and other major cities. It is almost dystopian in nature and futuristic in appearance.

From Siam Square, we went to the MBK shopping mall, a short walk away. This sprawling complex sells everything you can imagine and in many respects caters for the tourist market. Prices are highly inflated, and you are pestered by shop and store owners as you walk past. This is the one aspect of Thailand I can not stand. You can't even browse in a shop, without somebody breathing down your neck. For that reason, I bought very little while I was there and was happy to leave at the earliest opportunity.

In the evening, the rain came down, in bucket loads. The temperature was still hovering in the mid-thirties and the rain was warm, almost refreshing, but not quite. As soon as the water hit the ground, it evaporated, which makes for a spectacular display. With humidity levels also in the nineties, it was decidedly moist. Personally I thoroughly enjoy this kind of heat, Darrell on the other hand, doesn't

At 7pm, we made a mad dash, avoiding the showers, for dinner at So Samsen. Aom, our hostess from last year, had arrived back from Chiang Mai, and we were delighted to see her. It really is good to reconnect with friends after a year; it feels like we have never been away. If I could come back here year after year I would, but sadly we have other countries to explore, so will make the most of our time here while we can.

We did manage to catch up with our old friend and neighbour from Spain, Katie, who we haven't spoken to since we left Gran Alacant in 2018. This was a long overdue chat and I thoroughly enjoyed speaking with her after so long. As individuals, we should all make more time for one another, and relaxing on holiday is the perfect opportunity for Darrell and I to speak with people, without the need to constantly look at the clock! No one seems to have enough time these days, and that really is part of the problem with society today; talking costs nothing, friendship means everything!

It was heartening to hear Katie and Andy were still doing so well in Spain, having just bought a new house and farm. Had things turned out differently, we would most certainly still be there as well. I still keep up with the expat community on the Costa Blanca, and love to see how people are doing. Katie was such a big part of our life for so long, it feels like talking with family. We will of course be back in the future to see the Stewardson family once again; until then we have precious memories to take with us on our travels.

With day two over, I am looking forward to the remaining few days in Bangkok, being relaxing and chilled. We don't have anything planned, since we saw everything last year, but we will certainly search for new and wonderful experiences to fill our day, enjoying the delights of Bangkok in our own special way! This is a city that rightly deserves a more considered stay, rather than just a night or two as part of a stopover. This is the perfect holiday destination for us, I just hope all of you agree!

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Celebrating Eight Years of Blogging!

8/4/2023

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Eight years ago, I was trying to make sense of traumatic events that were shaping my world. 2015 was not the greatest year of my life, but it was, however, one that would teach me much about people and the lengths they will go to, to cause harm to others. Darrell and I went through a torrid time; abused and attacked by people we thought were friends and colleagues, we made a life-changing decision to leave Britain and restart our life far away from the nightmare engulfing our every waking hour.

We both had good jobs, worked hard, and did our best to help others when we could. We had a lot of people around us, some good, some bad, but as we stumbled through that painful thing called life, we felt happy and secure with the characters that made up our close circle of friends. These were positive people in the main, and as our circumstances changed, and my health began to suffer, we were lucky enough to have the support of some truly amazing individuals.

It was difficult to understand what was happening to me, and even harder to determine just who to trust. I was aware that something strange was happening, but I just couldn’t understand what. Writing down my thoughts and feelings, was a way of coming to terms with situations that were beyond my control. It allowed me to express my emotions in a way I wouldn't otherwise have been able to. The turmoil that was overwhelming me, was difficult to fathom, but by documenting events, I could begin to discover the reasons behind my immense feeling of sadness.

I have written much about that time in 2015 - not all of it legible, much of it rambling, and all of it difficult to reread. The bullying that made me who I am today, had been methodically collated in abraded unedited paragraphs, that painted a picture of mistreatment and intimidation. Even today, I haven’t read my original blog; the trauma I suffered is just too recent, and the effects too raw.

The decisions Darrell and I made in 2015 were the catalyst for a journey we are both still on today. After a life spent together in the UK, we decided to sell up, move away and leave Britain for good. After our marriage in September 2015, we embarked on a new life in Spain, and the darkness that surrounded my first blog all but disappeared. I continued to write about the confusing occurrences, that prompted our departure with gusto, but my melancholia had turned into anger and rage at what had happened. In beautiful, idyllic surroundings, I was able to sit with a clear head, and finally understand just what brought me to Spain.

Spain was an enlightening experience, it finally gave me a reason to live again. I was the happiest I had been in a long time and the stress and depression of 2015 gradually began to diminish and dwindle, finally subsiding into obscurity, as my new life in Gran Alacant became my priority.

Writing about my adventure on the Costa Blanca became a cleansing and cathartic exercise. Each day, I wrote about the mundane aspects of Spain, the cost of living, friends and the milestones that became so important, as I integrated into Expat life. Even when Darrell had to return home to Australia, while his Mother went through treatment for cancer, I still wrote - engaging, contented words linked to a country and a dream I could finally call home. This was the most free I had felt in years, and I was finally doing what I wanted, not what others expected me to do.

Our Spanish dream was not meant to be, and I was just grateful to have lived there, for as long as I did. As Darrell's Mother got worse and my Mum was taken into hospital, we left Gran Alacant, Darrell returning to Australia, me moving in with my Aunt in the UK, to be close to my Mum during the final years of her life. I was back in a Country I despised, but surrounded by loved ones, and I made the most of what I had left.

I spend four productive years in Portsmouth, surviving against all the odds, building up a substantial amount of money during the pandemic and working in a job I loved. Even while working, often long unsociable hours, I was able to keep writing and documenting some truly historic times. The streets were empty, businesses were closed, and I explored a city I knew little about, despite being born there in 1971.

The years I spent with family were bitter-sweet. In the main, they were good; I got to know my Aunt and Cousins well and loved every minute I spent with them. All of them gave me a reason to live, especially when Darrell was trapped in Australia at the height of the pandemic. I celebrated some important landmarks with my kin folk, my 25th wedding anniversary and my 50th Birthday and despite the sadness I felt, not having Darrell with me, I was content with family who supported and loved me.

Like most good things in life, times changed, and the fruitful, hard-working period I enjoyed in Portsmouth turned sour. Suddenly, the people I loved were no longer there. Affection turned to hate and resentment and by the time Darrell returned to the UK, my days in Portsmouth were already numbered. Once again, my blogging turned dark as unhappiness and dejection became the prominent feature in my life. It was time to move on and leave the past behind. Even the ones you love the most can hurt you, but I wasn’t in the mood for forgiveness, and I am glad to be away from people who made my final months in the UK some of the most hurtful and miserable in my life.

Of course, it didn’t all end so badly; I made some amazing friends in Portsmouth who will always be with me. They were the saving grace and a reason to write happy and uplifting thoughts, even during the most upsetting of times. The closing few weeks before we left for Australia were filled with love, laughter and unforgettable memories; everything else didn’t matter any more. We could leave with our heads held high on the final leg of our eight-year journey and a desire to finally be free.

When faced with unsurmountable challenges, Darrell and I always walk away. Both of us hate confrontation and with the stability that kept us together as a family crumbling, it was once again time to say goodbye. Australia is the final stop on a deeply personal and challenging eight years. When I decided to start blogging in 2015, I could never have predicted where I would be today. In April 2023, Darrell and I are living the quiet life down under; both of us have fantastic jobs and have bought a new home together. As our eyes look towards the future, I remember the immortal words I wrote all those years ago ‘ live life better, achieve everything you desire and don’t let the bad times destroy your future.’ We have done this unreservedly and continue to strive for prosperity in this unforgiving World!

... And finally, I would like to wish all my readers a very happy Easter, and thank you for your continual support!

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Settling into Expat life, in Gran Alacant!

5/1/2023

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Walking down Heart Attack Hill!

We had a house full of furniture and two cats to bring from the UK, to our new home in Gran Alacant. The easiest option for us, was for Jamie and me to fly from Southampton Airport and for Darrell and close friend Dale to drive from Britain, down through France, into Spain and onto the Costa Blanca; two days in a van with me, Darrell and the cats, was likely to end in bloodshed otherwise.

This was a journey that took Dale and Darrell several days to complete. In France, halfway through the journey, they stopped at a cat friendly hotel and rested as long as they could, before completing the journey. When they arrived, it was a frantic few days of unpacking, before Darrell dropped off the van in Alicante, and we could finally start to live our lives, far away from the troubles of the past.

Sitting in the tiny lounge, surrounded by boxes, slightly shivering on a cold February day, I remember how happy I was to finally be away from Britain. Our last few months there were not the best, and Spain was just the new start all of us needed. None of us knew the area at all, so once Dale had left for the UK, the three of us began to explore our new home of Gran Alacant.

The 'Rehab,' or 'Recovery train,' (recovering from life in The UK) was our first venture into this quiet urbanisation. This miniature train, on wheels, would circumnavigate Gran Alacant several times a day, and we could hop on and off as and when we liked. After a particularly wobbly walk down Heart Attack Hill, to Molly Malone's Irish Pub, the first pub we visited in GA and one of our favourite haunts, We caught the train, just outside the bar and travelled the short distance to the Centro Commercial. This modern town had everything you could need, including several supermarkets, Mercadona and Lidl, the obligatory tobacconist, where I would by my Mojito flavoured cigarettes at 4.35€ a packet, half the price they were in the UK, and of course plenty of bars and restaurants.

Barloko, as it was named then, was situated at the top of the main shopping centre and during our first few weeks we went there several times. We hadn't yet found our own neighbourhood local, Sierra Mar, which was actually hidden away in a small gated community, down the bottom of a rather steep incline, a few minutes from our house in Calle Canarias.

At Barloko, or Roger's bar as we liked to call it, we met many of the locals at this popular venue and of course the amazing Roger himself, who was always a friendly face, even when things weren't going our way. He would often sit and chat with us, explain a bit about Gran Alacant and help us find our way around. Roger is one of those characters you just can't forget, and it was always lovely to see him.

We also spent a lot of time in Alicante itself, just a forty-five-minute bus journey away. This cultured city, full to bursting with architectural wonders, a beautiful castle and our favourite part, the marina, was just what we needed to get over the UK. It was a World away from the drudgery of Britain and even in winter, we could sit in our preferred venue of choice, 'Soho Mar,' just passing the time of day, forgetting our worries and feeling every bit like we were on holiday.

Of course, we weren't on vacation, we were there to start a new life in the sun and by the beginning of March, it was time to start building a future, and looking for work in Gran Alacant.

Out of the three of us, I was the first person to find a job in GA, at 'The Easy Horse Care' Charity shop in Plaza Mayor, at the bottom of Heart Attack Hill, a fifteen-minute walk from Carabassi. I worked several days a week and was paid a small wage to keep me going while I looked for something more permanent. The charity did what it said on the tin, rescuing horses and donkeys in the local area; this magnificent shop, consisting of furniture on one level and clothing above, was my first real foray into the neighbourhood of Gran Alacant. At first, I was a bit dubious about taking on the position, after my bad experience working for a charity in the UK, but my reluctance soon passed, as I made friends, worked hard and began to integrate into a community that welcomed me with open arms.

The Charity shop opened my eyes to the well established Expat community, and it wasn't long before I began to venture out more and more. Sierra Mar, was a short walk from my house on the hill, so I wandered down to this friendly square whenever I had the chance. It wasn't long before 'Zest,' a newly opened bar, became my second home. Lee and Brett were the perfect hosts and always welcoming, as were Steve and Paul behind the bar. Along with Aunty Pam, who cooked the best comfort food and was always free for a hug or two, they soon became akin to family in Spain; these were familiar faces in an unfamiliar World. When confronted with a new beginning, it is important to find your niche, somewhere to feel relaxed and at home and for me at least, Zest was it.

It wasn't long before I got to know the locals and when Darrell was called away to Australia, a few months after we arrived, these were the people that got me through. Darrell's Mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2016, and although we didn't know it then, our time would be cut short in Spain because of her illness. With Darrell travelling back and forth to Perth, I made the best of a bad situation. Settling into life in Gran Alacant was the most important factor, in me staying there for as long as I did. Had it not been for my Mother in law's illness, in all probability we would still be there now.

Of course, part of settling into a new neighbourhood is establishing lasting friendships. Luckily I met long term friends Andy and Katie, who lived just around the corner from me and then there was Paul and Michelle, who were instrumental in making me feel a part of their lives, especially when Darrell wasn't there. It is true to say I went into myself a lot more and became very withdrawn at times, but when you see your dream ebbing away, it is all you can do to cope with the changing landscape.

Gran Alacant was an easy place to settle down, it had everything I ever wanted and more - people I cared about, a community of like-minded individuals, helpful friends and local residents, and the perfect location on the Costa Blanca that worked for us. It wasn't in the throng of Benidorm, it offered a more relaxed place to live, but with a busy social scene that came into its own, especially at night, making you feel you were actually somewhere bigger. With so many nationalities living in one place, it was the best choice for us, and I am so glad we lived there, even if it was for only a few years. The memories I made, and the friends I still have today, are a tribute to the place I was honoured to call home, and a fitting homage to the Expat community who looked out for me, in a way nobody had done before!