It has been a little over four years since Darrell was granted his Spanish residency in December 2017, and my God, a lot has happened since. In 2017, we were very much looking forward to our new life in Gran Alacant, enjoying living on the continent and the Spanish way of life. Today in 2022, we are firmly but in many respects reluctantly committed to settling in Britain; not what we planned, but at least we are together.

Today, Darrell received his UK settlement status for a second time, after what has been the most turbulent five years in our life. Darrell was originally given 'Indefinite Leave to Remain' in 2001, but after changes to immigration law, the introduction of a new biometrics card and dramatic changes to our circumstances, he was forced to reapply for the same status yet again. Living outside Australia for nearly two years, caring for Mum, only complicated our situation further. When one adds Brexit and a Worldwide pandemic into the mix, you can see, just how precarious our situation was.

Since his return to the UK in September, we have both been living under a cloud, not knowing if he would be allowed to live here permanently or not. However, after consulting a solicitor at great expense, we were able to establish a legal basis for settlement, and he was finally given back his right of abode. It has been a long, difficult journey getting here; despite our current situation, we are both determined to make the most of our life together and forge a future at least in part based in the UK.

Being around family has been amazing over the last four years, especially whilst living through a pandemic, it has given us both a reason to stay in this part of the World. We have grown close to our cousins and family in a way we haven't before and for that reason, I couldn't be happier. There is nevertheless a profound sense of disappointment that we couldn't continue our journey in Spain, and I will forever wonder what could have been. Despite the sadness we feel, we are both well aware of just how much the World has changed over the last two years in particular, and believe our life in Spain would have been cut short in any eventuality.

Today we both have the luxury of planning for yet another new future, whether on the south coast, or further afield in Lancashire, an area we know well. Neither of us know where life will take us from now, but we are determined to make the most of the opportunities we have and hope the next five years will be a little easier than the last!

It has been three years since I lived in Gran Alacant, but I always keep in touch with the wonderful community on the Costa Blanca when I can. Gran Alacant was full of wonderful characters, many of whom remain friends today. One such person is June Menditta, who I have written about before. This is a lady who helped Darrell and I tremendously when we first moved to Spain in January 2016. June often posts photographs and memories from my time in GA, and I am always interested to see how she is getting on.

As a pivotal part of the Expat community, June is a big personality and has always done what she can, to help charities that she holds dear. She was always the centre of information and a 'go to' place when needing advice. She is someone I hold in the highest regard and miss terribly. June will be one of the first people I visit when I return to Gran Alacant and is a person I am glad to call a friend.

June sent me a message the other day detailing her charitable efforts, raising money for Cancer Research, a charity I have taken to my heart back home in Britain. Her 10,000 steps a day challenge has raised 750€ for important research, with June completing a final step count of 376,824, which is a staggering 147 miles. This is an amazing achievement for June and certainly tugged at my heart strings, as I read about her endeavours.

My memories of Spain are wide and varied, but the people who live and work in Gran Alacant are always on my mind. Throughout this pandemic, I have often thought about them and the lives they have forged in Europe. The contribution Expats make to local life, wherever they are based, is often overlooked by the vast majority of the British public; most have no concept about living abroad. However, throughout Spain and beyond, there are small enclaves of British Ex patriots doing their bit to raise money for good causes, even if life is a struggle for them. The mark of true altruism, is selflessly helping those in greatest need, despite our own obligations and demanding lifestyles. The people of Gran Alacant always go that extra mile, to give back, even in an unforgiving World.

I've had a number of things on my mind recently, especially over the last few days, with the dawn of Brexit. Darrell and I intended to return to Spain to live, once this pandemic is over. It is a country we both love and were proud to call it home for several happy years. I often think of my time there and the friends I left behind. Both of us worked harder than anyone to achieve our resident status, retaining our respective residency permits, even today. It does look as though Brexit may well have changed all that, and a return to our old life in Gran Alacant, is just an unobtainable dream.

After looking into the subject of residencia, it would appear our Spanish status has already lapsed, because we have been outside the country too long. This isn't entirely set in stone of course, and I have messaged a legal representative to discover if we would have to reapply for residency, or if we could carry on where we left off. Our intention was always to return one day, once our family circumstances had changed and the pandemic was over, but we just aren't sure if it is viable any more.

Both of us fought very hard for our aspirational life and neither of us want to give it up that easily, but the truth is it may not be right for us now, as it was when we left in 2016. Neither of us are getting any younger and my reliance on the National Health Service, since I returned to Britain has been palpable. I'm not sure I would be able to have access to the Spanish system in quite the same way. Navigating the health care system in Spain, was proving difficult, whilst I was living in Gran Alacant; when my social security contribution was cancelled by my employer, without informing me, I was left with little choice, but to get private health insurance, of a sort.

The expense involved for Darrell and I, having to fund my own health care, was particularly hard. Having to work in a job, that was out of my comfort zone was also difficult, especially when you have an employer who lacked the dignity, compassion and empathy of a decent organisation, with morals and a real sense of direction and purpose. Struggling on the Spanish minimum wage, having to deal with unscrupulous svengali type characters, is not something I want to have to do in my fifties.

Both Darrell and I still have our hopes for the future, and they remain very much the same as they always have done. We continue to be travellers at heart and do not want to live in the UK full time. We have never really settled anywhere, buying property in France, living in Australia and Spain as well as moving to the north. I suppose Spain became the closest to the home I have always wanted, but that's not to say we can't have that somewhere else, abroad, with a better climate, more congruous to our way of thinking.

I have a feeling that the end of Britain's membership of the EU will be the beginning of a new adventure for both of us. When things get back to normal, we will once again have to make a decision about where our future lies. Brexit may well have closed European doors, but it has opened many more as a result. There is a whole World out there and if Spain or any other Continental nation isn't a possibility, then moving further a field maybe the answer. There are many parts of the planet we haven't explored, and we may just keep travelling forever, only settling when circumstances so desire. For now all dreams are open, all destinations a probability!

Darrell and I have started to plan for the future, as we bid farewell to 2020. Both of us, like all of you, have had the year from hell; there has never been a better time to look forward to what comes next. I can't tell you how grateful I am, to see this year confined to the history books. This has been a time of great anxiety and stress for all of us, but especially for Darrell and I, living apart as we do, because of the circumstances that surround our life. However, this isn't a time to dwell on the past, this is most certainly a period to look forward to the future, more now, than ever before.

Both of us have a desire to reside in Europe in the long term, and that doesn't necessarily mean living in Britain. Darrell and I have remained in the UK for most of our 25 years together and when we moved to Spain in 2015, we both understood the importance of change. Our new life was supposed to be 'forever,' a choice that would allow us to finally live our dream. That desire is still there, it hasn't changed, and we still want to retain that sense of 'who we are,' - travellers, explorers and pioneers.

Looking back at my time in Gran Alacant, near Alicante, I am reminded of the mistakes we made, but encouraged by our inclination to fit into Spanish and Expat life. We eventually achieved all our goals, obtained residency and finally adjusted to our new surroundings. Just before we left, I can safely say we were happy with the path we had forged and were genuinely feeling positive, about the direction we were following. Today in 2020, I look back with fondness at the memories we made and although we had many ups and downs, for the most part, we did far better than we could have ever imagined. We began to live life again, in a way we hadn't before.

When the World returns to normal and Darrell I can be together again, I could quite happily return to Gran Alacant, that neatly packaged urbanization on the Costa Blanca. It is a place I know well, wrote about in the local magazine and has everything we need for a prosperous, relaxing future, but would that be just too easy? I am not a person who tends to return to places I have lived before; I like to journey onwards to a new, untested future; consequently, we have been looking at property further afield.

Living in Britain, I have been able to save a substantial nest egg, as has Darrell in Australia and today, we are lucky enough to be able to afford a property outright; nothing fancy, just a small villa, with enough space for us and family to visit. We would be rent and mortgage free and able to live either part or all of the year, in a country we both love. I would dearly like to remain on the South coast of Britain, working and being close to family, but also having a home abroad, more tailored to our way of thinking. In tune with our intention, to eventually relocate lock stock and barrel, to our European home, we would once again restart our life far away from these shores.

Property prices are more than reasonable in Spain, even more so in Murcia, where we have also been looking. I recently stumbled across a villa in Calle Aljibe Mazarron, a short drive from the beach, which would perfectly suit our needs. The price tag is well within our means and with only cosmetic work to do, both of us have discussed buying the Casa, site unseen. Of course this is a risk, but it is something we have done before, when we bought a house in Le Lande St Simeon, in France in 2001. It is certainly an option to consider, especially now, during a pandemic.

Darrell and I are taken with the property, and we are seriously considering the alternatives. This is of course, just one house we have seen and with an economic crash once again on the cards in Spain, it is clear there will be many more such bargains to buy. We do have to be realistic about where we can afford to live and careful not to go above our limit. I have never been great at budgeting or dealing with accounts, so I am more than happy to leave that side of our ventures, for Darrell to organise. Importantly, I am ecstatic to be feeling motivated and positive once again. Luckily I am a little more pragmatic these days and don't have high expectations or exorbitant, unobtainable aspirations; my mojo is back, and I am inspired to move forwards, even if I don't always show it!

Spain remains the destination of choice. We both have our residency cards and know the country, culture and customs well. Spain offers us the easy way to achieve our objectives, but there are of course many other options. I would be equally happy living near Darrell's family in Hrvatska, Croatia, moving closer to Australia, maybe living in Asia for a while or possibly another European nation - Italy or even Portugal being top of my list. Wherever we choose to eventually settle, at least for part of each year, you can be sure it won't be conventional. A casa in Valencia, cave house in Andalusia or camper van in Croatia, these are the possibilities to explore, the prospects for the future and scenarios for consideration. Our life will never be prevailing and mainstream and that's just how we like it; spontaneous, challenging and distinctly inconsistent!

Over the last few months I have been gradually changing my lifestyle for many reasons. As you are all aware, I suffer with chronic IBS and have a number of underlying conditions, that probably make me more susceptible to food sensitivity. These have only been noticeable since I returned to Portsmouth from Spain and probably came to the fore, because of the changes I made to my lifestyle when I returned to the UK.

In Spain, I was an expert at living frugally. It was extremely difficult getting hold of the convenience, processed food readily available here. Of course, you could visit one of the many British supermarkets, stocking such products, but these were expensive and few and far between. It was much easier living in the same way the Spanish do and with money in short supply, I began changing my whole outlook on life.

Rather than buying British food from expensive international food aisles in Dialprix, Consum or Mercadona, I bought seasonal fruit and vegetables from the market in Gran Alacant, or the more affordable grocery stores. I chose to buy meat and other products that were on offer, pairing the ingredients for a nutritious 'cheap' alternative; cooking in bulk and freezing leftovers. This worked well for me, and I was able to live off twenty to thirty euro a week. I had graduated from the wasteful existence I had in Britain, to environmentally friendly sustainability, throwing very little away and learning to live a life more in tune with my Mother and Fathers childhood in the 1950s.

In 2020, I am living my life in similar fashion, but for very different reasons. In Spain, I had very little money to live on, so I had to readjust my lifestyle to take account of a limited income. Today I continue to cook in bulk because of the busy life I lead. Spending one day a week cooking for the next seven days, means I don't have to spend hours in the kitchen each evening, when I should be resting from long shifts at work.

My diet has also changed dramatically, since my Gastro Intestinal issues were diagnosed. I am choosing to follow a predominantly plant based diet; meat can be very difficult to digest, for me for at least, so alternatives have been a Godsend as I have tried to make my diet more IBS friendly and healthy. I have never really looked at this type of food before, let alone actually eat it, so it has been a leap into the unknown, but so far I have been pleasantly surprised by the choice out there.

As well as cooking up large pots of Quorn Stew, I am also trying out the other meat alternatives - this week, sausages, Quorn fillets and meatballs. The sausages are particularly delicious, full of flavour and better than normal sausages; yes you heard that right, I actually prefer eating them. Even the sausage rolls taste better in my humble opinion and most importantly do not have any adverse reactions with my GI issues.

However, there is a downside to all this meat free living and it is the cost. It is still far cheaper to eat animal products; if I am honest I would spend half the money I do on my weekly shop, if I could still happily enjoy it, but the truth is I can't. Eating meat is no longer compatible with my well-being and I have had to make dramatic changes to accommodate conditions that I never really knew I had.

I have discovered many foods that I can still eat - sushi, most fresh vegetables, Brie and Camembert, so at least I can still enjoy some cheese, although I no longer eat any other form of dairy. Also, I can eat most nuts, rice, cereal and my all-time favourite Marmite, which is also great for adding flavour to tofu and Quorn. I have removed all refined sugar, including cakes, chocolate and ice cream from my diet, to my absolute horror. It does seem on the surface at least, that I don't get any enjoyment from food any more and I suppose that is partly true.

All the things I used to enjoy, I can no longer eat; I can't remember the last time I had a piece of extra mature cheddar cheese, a chocolate finger, bottle of wine or tub of Ben and Jerry's, but I have found some friendly substitutes that have helped to ease the cravings. Dairy free desserts and chocolate can be quite appetising and causes me no harm whatsoever. It feels as though my body has started to heal after a lifetime of abuse and eating food that was no good for me at all.

Because of the changes I have made, I have been able to reintroduce some food that I couldn't eat just a few weeks ago. Until recently I have only been able to eat sourdough bread, but today I have reintroduced the normal, bog standard sliced loaf, which is about a third of the price and in my opinion tastes far better. I can also eat some pies and pastries, but not too much, so today I was able to buy a couple of home made pies from Zerina at Cancer Research and have had no adverse reaction; I am starting to live life again.

IBS is evolving all the time; one day I can eat one thing and on other days not, so I have to work my way around the complexities these ailments cause. I have taken my eating habits back to basics and gradually reintroduced a few items that I can now stomach once again, but it really has been hard work getting here. As someone who has always been able to eat what I want, I have found this process very difficult to deal with, but it has taught me much about myself and the nature of my body. It has shown me a way of living I have never experienced before, consequently making me feel far healthier and looking a lot trimmer than I was.

Over the last six months I have lost a stone in weight, I am walking a lot more and I have finally started to get to grips with my health, which does continue to cause me problems every day. I do feel fitter in many respects, but unravelling the pain that has been a constant in my life has been difficult. I have had to scream from the rooftops to see Doctors and Consultants, especially during this pandemic, but finally the results are beginning to show through. Exercise every morning and night is helping to ease the back pain I suffer with every day, and I am finally feeling positive and relieved, that I understand problems that have plagued my life for too long. If I have learned anything from this period, it's simply, I can change, adapt and make my life better. When I put my mind to something I can achieve all I want to. So far I'm half way there and thank God the light in finally at the end of the tunnel, helping to point the way to a more productive, satisfying and fulfilling life, without the mistakes of the past!

Last week I managed to see Mrs F, as soon as lockdown restrictions were lifted. After shielding for the recommended twelve weeks, Mrs F felt it was safe to finally venture outside for the first time. Of course, it was good to see her, but I was and still am, sceptical about the lifting of restrictions so soon, especially for the most vulnerable in society. This deadly virus is still about  and isn't going anywhere soon.

Chatting with her, it was clear that she hadn't enjoyed her forced isolation. Like most older people, she spends a lot of the time on her own in any event, so the last three months of this pandemic have just highlighted her vulnerability. I sensed that she just needed someone to talk to, so took some time out from work briefly, to have a chat to her on her way home.

Mrs F is always a joy to talk to, with so many stories to tell and I always appreciate her company, so seeing her face light up, as I had a brief conversation was a joy to be seen. She explained that she didn't speak to family as much as she would like and always looked forward to seeing me at work. Of course working in a customer focused environment, you do come across many people on a daily basis and each of us who work in the department, have customers who come in just to see us, each day. We can and do take the time to speak with each person for as long as they need, and they value the small talk. During this pandemic I have seen many people who live alone, coming in for a quick tête-à-tête, while they pick up their essential shopping. This was a life line for many, and I am glad all of us were able to help create a feeling of normality at a time of crisis.

Last Sunday I phoned Mrs F, as I will later today, just to see how she is; I was able to spend a little more time than usual listening to her. Despite her only living a short walk away, I have said I will not come to her home, just in case I carry anything along I shouldn't. I am mindful of this virus at every juncture and continue to social distance, sanitize my hands and refrain from greeting in the usual way. When we talked a few days before, we stood the regulatory two meters apart, only elbow bumping briefly as she went about her day. This is hard for everyone, especially people like Mrs F, but it is necessary to ensure all of us are spared any heartache in the future.

I still remain unable to see my father and other family members but when the time is right I will see them all again. I no longer trust this Government or its motives - when they told us it was safe to socialise at a limited level, I continued to keep my distance, as I still do now. The way they have acted throughout this crisis is been reprehensible, moving too slow to shut down and too quick to reopen. I will continue to do what I consider to be right, even if it means I am following a different path to others.

I was recently contacted by a friend in Gran Alacant, Spain, where Darrell and I used to live, who explained the COVID-19 situation there. It seems that the urbanization has had an outbreak of Coronavirus and local residents are being asked to follow strict guidelines in order to bring any upsurge under control. I have no idea what is going on there on the ground, but it is a pointer as to what expect everywhere across the World in the future. We have done remarkably well in Portsmouth, keeping the virus at bay, but if we are not careful we will see a second spike and people like Mrs F will once again have to shield.

I will continue to do the right thing, probably until we have a vaccine in place to stop COVID-19. However, I am lucky to work in an environment, where I come into contact with customers and can maintain friendships and relationships with some truly wonderful characters. I am happy they are returning to normal life once again but always, always conscious of the threat that still lurks in the shadows. Every one of us should do what we can to stay close with our loved ones and look forward to a time, without the presence of Coronavirus in our midst! We should also treat this virus with the respect it deserves and avoid its manipulative path at all costs, keeping safe and staying as far away from others as we possibly can. Remember COVID continues to kill at an alarming rate and all of us are potential targets!