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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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2018 Year In Review - Gran Alacant!

10/12/2018

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Wow, what a year 2018 has been. If I look back to January, I would have never imagined I would be sat here in Britain, living with my Aunt, while Darrell is living in Australia caring for his Mother. I am still existing in a strange World, getting used to English customs and ways once again, as well as the busy life I now lead, so different from the one I left behind in Spain. In today's blog entry I wanted to talk about my final few months in Spain and just how my life changed so dramatically so quickly.

Up until January, Darrell and I were very content with our life on the Costa Blanca. Darrell's job was going well, better than either of us expected and although my employment wasn't giving me much satisfaction, I was at least bringing in some money to tide us over during the winter months. As a couple we were able to survive quite comfortably with what we earned but neither of us were ever going to be wealthy. Existing in Spain was always about lifestyle and keeping ones head above water, nothing more and by February the difficult Spanish system was beginning to bite.

Darrell had surrendered his British driving license in late 2017, necessary when resident in Spain and also to allow him to keep his driving job at Alicante Airport. We assumed there would be no problem with this simple procedure, but nothing could be further from the truth. In order to get his UK license, Darrell had already relinquished his West Australian driving card many years before to the British authorities and unknown to us at the time, he wouldn't be able to hand in this exchanged UK document for a Spanish one; however it wouldn't be too long before we found out. It was classed as a third party license and since he had never taken a driving test in Europe and Spain had no reciprocal agreement with Australia to transfer its driving permits, it would in all probability be rejected. We soon discovered he would have to undertake Spanish driving lessons and a test at great expense and they would have to be carried out in the native Spanish language. This would prove to be an impossible task given our limited understanding of the local dialect; once again our unconventional relationship was becoming a problem!

By March we had decided to leave Spain. We had both worked extremely hard to stay, followed the law, jumped through Spanish hoops and did everything to legitimise our life in Gran Alacant. Of course the driving license fiasco was an issue, but it was more than that; life in Spain for both of us was very lonely. We had very few real friends and didn't constantly drink in bars like others; we kept ourselves very much to ourselves, fed up with the constant back stabbing from certain elements in the Expat community and had become disillusioned with our life on the med. Although Darrell enjoyed his job, my position was very different, another reason for me to leave at least. I had discovered that I had been removed from my contract of employment without my knowledge. I hadn't seen a wage slip in over two months and my boss had become evasive and bitter towards the square in which his bar was situated. Constantly listening to the ramblings of someone who clearly had no idea how to run a bar let alone be civil to those who went to his establishment was becoming increasingly burdensome and I wasn't going to stand for it any longer!

During April and May Darrell and I pressed the rest button once again, beginning our journey leaving Spain, I would depart first and he would stay on for a while, to finish his contract at the airport. Our intentions were to eventually relocate to Australia, so we advertised everything we owned and sold it to fellow Expats in the community in which we resided. The hardest part was rehoming our two new cats Mollie and Wildling, who had become an important part of our life, but we were reassured by their new family that they would be well looked after. By April they were gone and we finally got to the end of selling our possessions. What little we had left was shipped on to Australia and we began the process of saying goodbye to those we still hold dear today.

I had become homeless with no goods and chattels, a complete contrast to my hoarding life before. With nothing left, I felt like a weight had been lifted and Darrell and I could finally leave Spain and restart our lives somewhere new, somewhere that we could finally regard as home and somewhere we could forget about the pressures of surviving in Europe without the support we so clearly needed. Both of us were beginning new chapters away from each other, as I made the decision to return to the UK immediately and live with my Aunty, where I could be close to loved ones. Little did I know at the time, but my relocation would be more important than ever and my life was about to change once again!


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Full Circle - Farewell to Mollie and Wildling!

11/5/2018

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Stressed would be an understatement; I haven't stopped worrying about this move; needless to say, my blood pressure is sky high. What many people don't understand is we have been here before. I have moved abroad on two separate occasions, returning to the UK each time. The reality of our situation is, we will both be turning up, very much in the same way we did in 1995 and 1998. I don't enjoy moving around like this, far from it, I am a homebody as a rule and not the Worlds best traveller. However, I am a lot older than 24 years old now, when I first set foot on foreign soil; I am strongly of the view, that I will appreciate it a lot more than I once did.

In 2015 we left the UK, for a new life in Gran Alacant; this was a move that caused a massive amount of anxiety and stress for both of us. We had lived in Britain for over twenty years and it was hard saying goodbye to a country we loved; well I loved far more than Darrell if I am honest. Although Darrell settled in to British life well, he never fully enjoyed his experience, especially living in such a cold climate. Coming to Spain was getting away from difficult times, a stop gap if you like, before moving on again at some stage; neither of us believed it would be so soon after moving here.

As readers of this blog know, a series of unfortunate events have together made us realise, that we have to return home sooner rather than later. Darrell's Mother is suffering from cancer and is not in a great way at the moment; we think it's only right and fair to be with her at this distressing time. Darrell is an only child; his Mother is very much on her own. Once again we are both going through testing times; we need to not only restart our life, but also begin again, without a thing in the World. This is a radical clearing out; we will be left with just memories; not a bad thing, we don't need to have so much baggage!

The last few days have been brutally testing, throwing away precious items; mainly mine it has to be said; that have been carried around with me for many years.  We have argued more than ever, become angry over the slightest hicup and feel emotionally drained, I have moved around so much in my lifetime, I really just want to settle down finally.

I have been busy selling what objects I can on the 'Buy and Sell Gran Alacant' facebook page. Thankfully I have managed to offload quite a few. This is a much easier task, than it was, living in Southampton, I don't have the same level of emotional attachment to things now. The only things that are important are photographs and memories; we both need to move forwards, far away from the places we used to call home. For most people Expat life is a dream, for us it is born from a nightmare and will hopefully be our saving grace; if not we move on again!. 

I wanted to say a particular thank you to Rob, Pam from Zests husband, who has been round today helping me clear items and purchasing some for himself. I think he was amazed by the amount of stuff we still have; if he had seen us in Southampton before we came here, he would have been in shock. As I sit here typing away, looking around this emptying room, I am still amazed at the stuff I still have left; I really was a collector in every sense of the word. Today is the start of something new; something that doesn't involve collecting and weighing myself down....Actually it is quite liberating throwing everything away. Today all my my suits, ties and dress shirts headed to the bin; I'm certainly not going to need them anymore!
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4 April 2018

Today we said farewell to Mollie and Wildling, the two kittens we fostered last year. This was another hard decision we had to make, for the advancement of all of those concerned. When you decide to make such a large move, you have to assess what to do with everything you had in your life; pets are also a priority; we had to weigh up what was best for these two little characters, who had become such a force for good. On the day our cat Precious died a year ago, when I had to make the terrible decision to put her to sleep, I also had to let our latest editions go, not to kitty heaven, but to a new home with friends in Murcia.

Kayleigh, a lady I used to work with at the Princess Astorias School in Elche and her husband Neil agreed to take these two gorgeous cats on. This was a life line for both of us. We were going to take them to the UK and let them stay with a friend Melissa in Hythe, but soon realised how impractical this course of action would be. We don't have a lot of money and sadly the cost of the journey across Europe was rapidly spiraling. It would have cost at least 1000€ to get them over the channel, money we just don't have.

Of course ideally we would have loved to have taken both Mollie and Wildling with us, but at a cost of 2000€ we didn't have a hope in hell of doing it. In the end we did what we had to do, to keep these kittens together. They are brother and sister and need one another. If Kayleigh couldn't have taken them both, we would have done our best to resettle them with Melissa in Britain.

I would personally like to thank Melissa for her kind offer of a home; I know the cats would have been happy there. In another life we would have done what we could. There is nothing normal about our current situation, just as there wasn't three years ago; once again the decision we made had to be about practicality as well as doing the right thing. A big thank you to Kayleigh and family for giving Mollie and Wildling the new start they need. 

I am going to miss both these kittens terribly. We had all bonded as a family. Mollie would insist on coming into the bathroom with me every morning, playing with the water in the bath with her paws, even sat on my knee, while I tried to soak. Mollie was the feisty one, who was never afraid of anything, a true spirited girl. Wildling was far more reserved and really rather loving, headbutting my legs from the moment I got out of bed in the morning. He had a high pitched squeal and would often sit on his box by the window chattering to himself.

They were inseperable; Mollie suckling on Wildling's neck constantly; taken away from their Mother far too young. I know they will grow into a pair of gorgeous cats, but am feeling sad that I am unable to see it happen. They both came into our life at a very upsetting time. Having lost our first cat Precious a few months before, our older rescue cat Lily was gravely ill; she died a few months after Mollie and Wildling came to us. If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't have got over what happened; they were the light that shined brightly, when Lily's flame went out. We never thought we would love another animal again when she died, but on the day we let them go, we were very much smitten!

5 April 2018


I had a terrible nights sleep last night, thinking constantly about our two feline friends. Both Darrell and I feel so guilty about what we have done. We have never given away a pet in our life together. We are feeling particularly down, after forming a close bond with Mollie and Wildling and the reality is, it has put us off having anymore animals in the future. They didn't ask to be given away and loved unconditionally, as all animals do. They were a big part of our life and have left a void, large enough to fill a cattery. Wounds do heal in time; but with the difficulties of our current situation, we are mindful it isn't going to be a quick process.

Big hugs to you both, Darrell and I will always miss you. I hope you both have a happy and fulfilled life, as I know you will with Kayleigh; I couldn't think of a better Mum!
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Best Laid Plans!

6/5/2018

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In case any of you didn't know, Darrell and I will be remaining in Spain, a little longer than planned. We have both decided to complete all the necessary paperwork for our settlement abroad here in Spain. This was a rather hard decision, since we had already put plans into action to move abroad. Last week all our belongings were shipped overseas and we have been left without many of the items we need on a daily basis. However the logistics of a move at this point in time were just not practical.

If I were to apply for my visa away from Europe, it was likely the whole process would have taken at least two years or more. This is a long waiting period of uncertainty for both of us to deal with, especially when one considers we will be putting our lives on hold once again. Despite being together for over twenty two years, we would still have to follow the same procedures, as a couple who have been together for two years for example. In fact we would have to do far more, because of the length of time we have been together. Submitting nearly two and a half decades of documents, would have been a mammoth undertaking, especially with only three months to complete it.

Staying in Spain, will allow us to submit the application at leisure, without the time constraints of a tourist visa, in which to complete the task. Once the visa is submitted off shore, we would have a relatively short period to wait, to gain permission allowing us to remain together as a couple outside of Spain, probably five months maximum, compared to the two years on shore.

Today I have started the task of scanning twenty three years worth of documents onto my PC, in order to submit them further down the line. This has to be the most laborious task I have ever had to tackle. Not only do I have to scan each relevant document, but I also have to scan the reverse of each page, whether it is blank or not. The red tape involved in moving to a foreign partners country is beyond belief. We have had to do this twice before; once for the UK and once for Spain, so we should be well versed in the pitfalls which we are. Nevertheless nothing prepares you for the difficulties and expense involved in the official application submission; by the end of it, will will have spend 20-30,000 dollars in total; it isn't cheap; wish me luck!

I will be returning to the UK on the 25th May as planned, just to catch up with friends and family. If you are about, feel free to catch up!

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{{{Stressed}}}

1/5/2018

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More Goodbyes!

29/4/2018

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More goodbyes over the weekend, after we met Lorraine and David at Rogers for a farewell drink or two. I'm going to miss these two terribly. They have both been a
great source of inspiration since I met them, while working at LoungeD. As with most people here, I will be keeping in touch. The reality is, I am going to miss many of those I have met over the last two and a half years. Gran Alacant is first and foremost a neighbourhood, mainly consisting of British Expats, yes, but it's more than that. The people who have moved and come here to change their lives, normally for the better, as I did all those months ago, are a part of a vibrant community, striving for a better life in the sun. Lorraine and David, have without question been a pleasure to speak with, always offering a word of advice and without a doubt, stimulating enjoyable company.

I also bumped into Gavin, the owner of Molly Malones, spending the rest of the evening putting the World to rights and sharing our experiences of GA. Gavin has been here a long time, about fourteen years in total and has always been on hand for a chat and a vodka or two. We both ended up at the Pub in Masa Square, rounding the night off perfectly.

There will inevitably be more farewells in the last three weeks we have left in Spain, as we continue to prepare for our arrival back home in the UK. I have said many goodbyes in recent times; all this emotion tends to take its toll. Once again in our life, we are walking into unchartered waters, the outcome of which, we have no idea...Story of our life!
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My Life In Boxes!

26/4/2018

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Three boxes. that's it, all we have left now everything else has been sold. given away or thrown in a skip. Not a lot to show for twenty three years together is it. In reality however, how much 'stuff' does one realistically need in this World.

Looking back to our days living in Southampton, the house in which we lived was crammed to the rafters with 'things,' none of which we really needed to survive, just an accumulation of items that cluttered up our lives. In many respects material possessions only ground us, preventing us from doing many things we would have otherwise done. Both of us are travellers at heart and can now see more of the places we wanted to visit, twenty or so years ago.

We arrive in the UK on 25 May; I am trying to organise seeing as many people as I can. On Friday 25th May, we will be going to my old local pub the 'Giddy Bridge;' I used to work just over the road from it and have many happy memories there. It's fitting to spend a few hours there, before moving on to Portsmouth to stay with my Aunty for a short while. If you are about on that day, do feel free to pop along, it will be good to see you!

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I've got a tonne of rubbish to get to the bins, after a lifetime of collecting. In the early 2000s, I used to build computers and have boxes and boxes of wires and hard drives; all of these items have to be disposed of. To be honest I should have thrown them away before I came to Spain, but as a professional hoarder, preferred to take them with me.

Darrell has been sorting out the last  of the clothes this afternoon, bagging up jackets and jeans to go to the charity shop; in  four days by the end of the month everything should be complete and we can finally enjoy our last few weeks living in Spain, before we return to the UK.
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Tuesday In GA!

24/4/2018

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I've had an extremely busy few days; at the moment I am restructuring my blog, so I haven't had as much time to write as I would like. Leaving for the UK in a month is also a pressing priority. Rest assured however, I will be back intense blogging very soon. In the interim, I will continue to keep readers updated of course!
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Saturday!

21/4/2018

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Another Stressful Few Days!

19/4/2018

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It's been another stressful few days; if I am honest Darrell and I haven't stopped arguing; it's what happens when you move! Moving abroad again for the second time in a little over two years just makes the situation even worse. Both of us are feeling the strain, far more than we did, when we left the UK for Spain in 2016; this is a 'no going back' move. We wont be returning anytime soon; there is a sense of finality about all this; endings are not something I like or enjoy.

Paperwork


I have finally finished sorting bags and bags of paperwork; lots and lots of memories thrown in the bin; quite a sad day for me. I had letters dating back thirty or more years, from friends and family, documenting my life; now all gone. I think we have also chucked away our Wedding photo's by accident, extremely upsetting, but luckily we have copies on our PC.

Artwork


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It's fantastic to see my treasured paintings situated in their new home in Torrevieja. I have had these many years and really wanted them to have a new lease of life. These pictures were the aspirations I never quite achieved; dreams yet to come!
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Art has always played an important role in my life. Anyone who knows me well enough, knows just how many paintings I had hanging on my walls. Each item held an important memory for me, which made them that much harder to part with

La Piedra


Last night we took a couple hours out to have a few drinks and a meal out. After meeting two friends at Rogers in Masa Square, we took a quick trip up the hill to La Piedra. It felt good to relax, have a lovely meal and long chat with Paul, whose table we gatecrashed when we got there. I'm gonna miss this guy, along with Natalee of course, who works in this popular Gran Alacant restaurant!

moving mollie


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The only item of any significance that is coming with me to my new home, is my painting of Mollie Sugden as Mrs Slocombe in the popular TV series 'Are You Being Served.' I've had her a long time and certainly have no desire to part with her. I just hope she reaches our new place in one piece!
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Cat cupboard


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With the cats now gone, it was time to clear out the cat cupboard. This old thing has been stuck in the corner of the kitchen for as long as I can remember, not only in Spain, but also in our home in the UK.

The old piece of furniture was given a makeover by Jamie, when we first moved to Gran Alacant two and a bit years ago and housed all of the cats stuff; brushes, food bowls, medication, collars and food.

Clearing it out was a little emotional, knowing we are not going to have another feline friend for a while, maybe never. At our time of life we really need to travel light, without the ties of having a pet!

We are nearly at the end of this grueling clearing out process and our house is looking rather bare. By the end of the month this will no longer be a home, just a place to stay before our move to foreign shores. Despite only being here for a short while, I have a fondness for Gran Alacant, it was perfect in every way. There is no time to look back now, our decision is made, it's time to move on!

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Certificado de Antecedentes Penales!

17/4/2018

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Yesterday was busy; I was up early sorting out yet more paperwork, only this time for not for Spain. We had asked a friend from Gran Alacant to accompany us to Murcia, where we had to have a police check carried out, confirming that both of us have no convictions.

Darrell and I had to travel to Murcia, a large city, about 80KM from Alicante. The Ministry of Justice Office is situated in the centre, above a shop; you wouldn't even know it's there, except for the small sign outside. After handing over our passports and residencia cards, we were good to go. Due to my residency status in Spain, the Ministry will also apply to Britain for my records, killing two birds with one stone, saving me the difficulties of applying for my police check in the UK. Darrell however wasn't so lucky. Due to his non EU status, he will have to ask for his British records himself. The documents were also apostilled or legalised on site, once again saving both of us the time and effort, contacting the relevant Government department. 

This was the quickest pain free task, I have ever gone through in Spain, everything was completed in twenty minutes. We both have to wait for two weeks, to get the final documents back and then finally have all the paperwork translated into English, part of the course when you are living in a non English speaking country; apart from this formality we are nearly at the end of the process here in Spain.

Over the next few weeks, we have just a few final engagements to undertake before we leave. We need to renounce our residency status and apply for our tax refunds, so we can finally move forwards away from our continental adventure. I am of course sad to be leaving this place, but at least we can both say, we have survived the Spanish system and lived a fairly full life.

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    48-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my home town of Portsmouth on the south coast of England!

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