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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Coming Out Stories - A Mothers Perspective!

31/3/2021

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I am Samantha, mother to a 22-year-old daughter and 16-year-old son. I can still remember the day my daughter told me she was bi-sexual. She was sitting in her bedroom and I had a notification on my phone of a text from her. From what I could see of the text it said that she loved me and hoped I wouldn't hate her, but she had something to tell me. It then said to press to view more. My initial thought was oh shit she is pregnant at 19. I psyched myself up to read the rest.

The text was to tell me she was bi-sexual. She had even told me that bi-sexual meant she was attracted to males and females, as if I didn't know what it was. She went on to say she hoped I wouldn't hate her.

I put the phone down and walked straight up to her room where I found her sobbing her heart out on her bed. I just walked over to her and gave her a huge hug and said I don't care. All I care about is you are happy and healthy.

In all honesty I was completely shocked. I had no idea she fancied girls. She had always mentioned when she thought a guy was attractive. She was besotted with Zac Efron as a young teenager and had posters of him all over her bedroom wall. Furthermore, she never had a boyfriend and I just put that down to the fact she was quite shy. I guess like most parents, when their children are young, you envisage what their life might be like when they are grown. For me, I always imagined my daughter growing up, settling down with a man and having children of her own. Yes I assumed, but why wouldn't I?

There were no clues before she told me, although her dubious taste in music, (she is a massive Steps fan,) should have given the game away. I jest! I was convinced she had a crush on Philip Schofield as she constantly watched clips of This Morning. She told me after she came out it was Holly she liked.

Was I disappointed in my daughter? No, not at all. I was actually disappointed in myself that she had got so worked up and upset about telling me. I was upset that she would think for a second that I would disown or hate her. What could ever have made her think that?

I grew up in the 80s at a time when horrific scary adverts were all over the TV about AIDS. As a child of about 10 they terrified me. I remember the horror stories, that you could catch this disease by using a public toilet or water fountain a gay person had used. Nobody in my life was outwardly gay. Words like queer, poof, pansy or dyke were used all the time. They became part of my language.

I am not or have never been homophobic, but I am guilty of saying those words. I have never meant offence or harm by them and until my daughter came out, and we discussed this I could not see why anyone would be upset at this language. I can see now why she was so worried about telling me. I am having to learn a new language and oh it's certainly not easy. I still say the wrong thing at times and Eloise will say you can't say that mum.

I love my daughter with all of my heart. I am constantly proud of her. Since she came out her confidence has grown. She is living her life her way, and she is happy. She has a beautiful partner of 4 years, Caitlyn, who took a massively brave step and moved 630 miles to be with my daughter and I love her with all of my heart too, and I am so grateful for the joy she brings to Eloise. I am never going to be 100% politically correct, and I will make my daughter roll her eyes but one thing I hope she knows is that I would not change her for the world even though she is making me go to a steps concert in November.



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Coming Out Story - Eloise Felstead!

29/3/2021

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My name is Eloise, and I am a 22-year-old bisexual woman.


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I first properly came to terms with my sexuality when I was around 13/14. Before then, I had seen pretty women on TV or in public and wondered why I felt ‘funny’, but it didn’t really make sense until I started watching and becoming a fan of popular TV shows and getting involved with the online community surrounding it.
 
I became a little infatuated with one of the characters and cast members of my favourite show at the time, Glee. It was because of her that I came to terms and realised I wasn’t actually straight. I didn’t have an issue displaying this on certain platforms online where it wasn’t viewed by my peers, but remained closeted and silent in public.
 
Over the years, I came out to several friends who I trusted and who I knew understood how I was feeling. I always wanted to come out to my family, but the fear and anxiety it caused made this difficult. You are constantly reading about horror stories in the LGBTQ+ community and how young kids are being abused or thrown out of their home for something they can’t help, which puts the fear in your own head that the same is going to happen to you.
 
I would be lying if I said I didn’t think my parents were homophobic/biphobic at least several times. My dad would always make jokes and call my steel capped boots I wore to Cadets my “dyke/lesbian” boots. Whilst this was a joke to him, it was scary to imagine what he would say if he knew I wasn’t straight. My mum joked about bisexuality a lot, saying bisexual people are greedy and should pick a side, and it saddened me. But I never spoke up in fear of being outed and disowned. These jokes and comments came from all around me. Friends, family. I felt like I had been pushed so far back in the closet so, I never even contemplated coming out. I know none of it was ever malicious, but words do more damage than people care to admit.
 
In 2016, my dad sadly passed away before I had the chance to tell him I was bisexual, and this has always affected me because I never got to come out to him and tell him who I really was. There’s nothing I can do about that now, but I always wonder what he would say, if he would be proud of me, if he would care.
 
After a while, I met someone online, and it was getting quite serious. I knew I’d have to come out eventually if I really wanted this relationship to go anywhere so, one night, after work, I had plucked the courage up to come out to my mum. You may laugh, but I spent the entire 45-minute walk home from work listening to ‘I’m Coming Out’ and other pride hits to give me the courage.
 
I got in and saw my mum on the phone. I didn’t want to wait up as she can be on the phone a long time so, I went up to my bed, and composed a text. I didn’t particularly want to come out via text, but it was the only way I felt brave enough. I typed out this message, debated pressing send, before I realised that I really had nothing to lose. The response I was going to get from my mum would be the same response I would get if I came out in a year. 5 years. 10 years. I pressed send and a wave of anxiety and sickness washed over me.
 
Within a few minutes, I heard my mum coming up the stairs and I started shaking. I was so scared as to what she would say. She came into my room, asked if she could sit down on my bed, then started speaking to me.
 
She told me she didn’t care about whom I loved, as long as I was happy. She joked that she thought I was pregnant when I sent her the text beginning “I have something to tell you.”. I was crying, and we went downstairs to have a proper chat. She asked me questions about bisexuality to try and understand more, and that comforted me and made me feel like she truly cared about bettering herself and becoming more educated. She asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said yes, and told her about Caitlyn, who is still my girlfriend over 3 years later.
 
I felt like my coming out was very anti-climatic. It was nothing like the shows or movies, it was so much easier and calmer and... happier. The only issue I really had surrounding my coming out is that your coming out doesn’t become your own story to tell any more.
 
My mum started telling friends and family, who told friends and family, so on and so on. This upset me as I didn’t have the chance to tell my closest friends first. I felt that this rushed me into telling others when I wasn’t ready for that, and I told my mum this. But, to me, it felt like it was now her news for her to share. She didn’t seem to care about the effect it had on me or my well-being. Despite these feelings, her telling people had no negative effect on me, and in the long run, it probably made things a lot easier for me.
 
After my grandparents found out, my nan was very set on telling me that I’ll “end up with a man one day”. I know she was only looking after me, but this felt like my bisexuality was being treated as a phase. I never spoke up as my anxiety refused to let me. This stopped after a while and now everyone could not be more supportive of myself and my girlfriend.
 
My girlfriend and I have now been living together for almost 2 years after she moved 630 miles to be with me. We are happy in our own home, just the two of us, and she is a part of my wider family. We will have been together 4 years this December.
 
While my coming out was difficult at times, I know I’ve had it incredibly easy compared to others, but this doesn’t mean there still isn’t a huge stigma surrounding coming out.
 
I hope my story has helped someone, even if it’s given them a little push towards telling someone they trust. You will never be alone. Love always wins.


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My Constant Gastro Hell!

27/3/2021

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I haven't been feeling the best over the last few weeks; if I am totally honest, my various health issues seem to be overtaking my life again. Suffering from IBS can be debilitating and I do have good and bad days. On a perfect day, I can function at near normality and be more or less pain free. However, these are rare days now and the majority of the time I do suffer from discomfort, to differing degrees.

A few days ago I had a gallbladder attack, something I have only experienced on two other occasions. After the last strike, I had adjusted my diet and lifestyle to accommodate for my gallbladder disease diagnosis. I began eating much smaller portions, followed a strict low Fodmap diet and exercised on a regular basis. All of these changes calmed the chronic problems I have, and I really began to feel like I was winning. Some days I actually forgot I even had any conditions at all.

My diagnosis of IBS feels rather tenuous at times. One has to remember I was given this prognosis at a time, when I had no quantifiable illness to otherwise contradict the Doctors judgement. Today I have gallbladder disease, a hiatal hernia, Diverticular Disease, Kidney stones and gastritis. Added together, they make for  hellish Gastrointestinal function, that can be impossible to stabilise. Whether I have IBS on top of this is debatable in my opinion, but the specialists do seem to think I have very bad symptoms, because of all these ailments. I can understand that and do whatever I can to ease the ongoing pain.

Medication, natural herbal remedies and digestive enzymes, together with a healthy lifestyle, including no alcohol and smoking have all started to produce results. I have been feeling markedly better, so much so, I took my eye off the ball and started eating the wrong things. Since Christmas, I have put on over a stone in weight and the aches and pains have come back with a vengeance, culminating in that gallbladder attack in the middle of the week.

I know when I've had a pummelling from that useless gallbladder, that in my case stopped working properly several years ago. The pain is like nothing I have endured before. Radiating across my chest, upper back, abdomen and arm, it is akin to childbirth (so I am told.) I initially thought I was having a heart attack the first time I had one, but today realise how important it is to try and ride it out. The pain was so intense on Thursday that I violently threw up for two hours and really thought I might have to phone an ambulance. However, as fast as it began, it disappeared and exhausted, I was able to operate normally once again.

At the end of April, I have an appointment with rheumatology at Queen Alexandra Hospital, so I can finally get some answers as to what is occurring. It is believed I have Fibromyalgia, but Rheumatoid Arthritis is still a possibility. They may well be able to help with my gastro issues, if there is a link between the two. I am also still awaiting a gallbladder removal operation and at least three other procedures, to give a more concrete analysis of just what is going on. I hope it isn't too much longer before I can get back to some semblance of normality and live a more fulfilled life. Until then, I guess it will be more of the same, until I can get to the end of this sorry saga, that has plagued my life for far too long.

After the awful week I've had, I'm hoping for a quieter, less intense seven days ahead. Careful eating and stepping back from those naughty habits, that have returned once again, should hopefully pay dividends. I don't want another bout of pain again, at least in the short term, otherwise next time I will end up in A&E, not a place I want to be right now. A change in diet is the first step to regaining the upper hand and until the pandemic ends and operations are carried out, it is the only tool I have to get me though. With a positive outlook and understanding network of friends, I'm hopeful life will finally return to convention and my mind can concentrate on bigger and better things!

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My Coming Out Story - Daniel Wakelin!

27/3/2021

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Hello Everyone - My name is Dan Gates. I’m 27 years Old from Portsmouth, And this is my coming out story. I thought I’d tell you my coming out story, in the hope that readers will find this helpful and insightful

Where shall we begin? Let’s start from the beginning shall we.

I was born on the 4th of August 1993, My mother was 18 years old when she gave birth to me. At the time she lived with her parents (My grandparents) Because of how young my mother was, I’ve always felt like we have had more of a Brother/Sister kind of bond, than an actual Mother/Son kind of relationship. My grandparents have always been my mum and dad in my eyes, as I’d often stay with them when my mother had to work.

When I was 2 years old, my mother managed to get a place of her own, so we then moved into that. We moved to Paulsgrove … A road called Meadowsweet Way. At the time we had moved in, The road was brand new with new houses and new families moving in, where at the time a lot of the children were the same age as me.

Growing up in our road was incredible, Because all the children were the same age as me; you’d often find us on our bikes riding up and down the street, going round each other’s for dinner and having sleepovers. Our mothers were also friends as well and most of us in our road went to the same primary school as each other; so we were a pretty tight community. Everyone knew each other well and would look out for one another; it was pretty special.

As time passed, and I was getting older, I started to feel a little different to the other children, as I’d often noticed my friendship circles were female. My mother would often sign me up for things such as football and karate and I’d be against it because it wasn’t my kind of thing. I’d just be happy spending time with the girls and I always felt like I was one of them. I was very emotional as a child; most of the boys were playing football and being rough with each other, where I wasn’t like that at all, I wasn’t your typical stereotype boy.

I often found I was more attracted to guys growing up, like I’d often look at females as friends but would never feel anything more than that. I did have a few girlfriends growing up, but they were never anything serious & they never lasted long because I just saw them as friends and struggled to see them as anything more. I had a friend at school called Marc, Me and him were very close and very flirty with each other … He was one of my first male friends.

Marc was a few years older than me. I remember a time when I went back to his, and we had a lovely day in the house together, messing around and just having a laugh, and I remember getting so flirty to him that we both kissed.

I remember at the time being shocked and scared at what I had done, but the more I kept thinking about the kiss, the more right it had felt & I wanted to do it with him more and more. A few days after the kiss, I told my female friends about it, They were also very shocked by it, yet they were so supportive. They handled it so brilliantly and were just wonderful about the whole thing, I remember having a conversation with my friends telling them how I felt about that kiss and how I felt about guys in general, and it soon came clear that I was Gay.

I was 13 years old when I had made that discovery, 13 was often the age. Teens would start to experiment and find out who they are. It was when puberty was beginning and sex education was taught on a regular basis preparing us for adulthood.

Because my friends were so accepting, I thought sooner or later I’d have to come out to my family, To me this was a very daunting & a scary thought. As my mother was very closed-minded & my grandparents were very old-fashioned, as being gay back in their day was illegal. She kept signing me up for things, trying to shape me into the person I didn’t want to be. Over & over I kept thinking on the best approach to tell her by not telling her exactly, because of the close community in our road. I started telling more and more of my friends and soon word had got around and my friends had even told their parents; word soon got back to my mother.

I remember coming home from school one day, My mother sitting me down looking somewhat disappointed. The first words that came from her mouth were “Is it true ?”

When my mother asked me that question, I knew things wouldn’t go well. I knew that not because of her anger from finding out from someone else, but because she just wasn’t someone I could approach with anything. My mother had a short fuse she’d fly off the handle at the smallest of things.

She then went on to say how she always had a feeling I would be; how she wasn’t happy about the idea of her son being with another boy & how it was wrong, as we have never had someone gay in our family before. She also went with the stereotype of: 'because I used to hang around with females & how I’d love to do dance, music and various other things that would make me Gay,' which in my opinion is a lot of Shhhhh …

The tension was so awful after that conversation, that it was very clear it was no longer safe for me to be living in that environment, I then decided to move in with my grandparents. My grandparents also found out I was Gay, because my mother had told them. They were OK with it, but they never wanted me to speak about my sexuality or relationships. Even at the age of 27, it still isn’t something that’s spoken about with my mum or grandparents.

Coming out was awful for me, because the people who you think would stand by you and accept you for who you are, let me down. It’s most probably the reason that I have had issues with relationships during my life, It’s most probably the reason why I do find it hard to be with someone, Because love has let me down.

When I think about my coming out experience now, the question I ask myself is would I do it again, Would I do anything different ? The answer is No I wouldn’t change the way I did it. Yes my mother did find out from someone else, but she was never open-minded or approachable in the first place.

Coming out was also a good thing for me, because there were people who stood by me such as my friends and at the age of 27 years old, I’m living my best life.

I don’t live with family any more, I can do what I like and kiss the people I want to, without judgement from others.

Life as a Gay Man in 2021 is incredible, you’ll often hear more and more people coming out and being accepted for who they are. Pride is so openly celebrated, you’ll often see brands sporting the pride flag on pride month. Our LGBT History/Community is growing and becoming more positive and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us all.

Pride is an event that I do hold in my heart because it reminds me of how lucky I am to be loved and accepted by my friends and even though I had a bad experience, it also shaped me into the person I want to be. It taught me to love, accept and embrace the person I am, stand tall and be proud of how far I've come to be that person.



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If you have your own
'coming out story' to tell, why not get in touch.
We'd love to hear from you!


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Coming Out Stories - William Mills!

25/3/2021

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I came out when I was twenty-one years old, I'm forty-eight now; It wasn't a great experience!

I had Just turned 21 and was living with my Foster brother and his wife; I was just in the process of moving out to live on my own, after growing up in care for fifteen years....

On the day I came out, I never thought they knew I was gay; trying to hide it, I kept it a secret from my foster parents. They had turned up at my foster brothers and had known all along. Disgusted, there no acceptance or understanding. Other stuff had come out too, about the past. After that, well, I got what I wanted I suppose, free to live my life, no more secrets, finally accepting who I was and my sexuality too, not feeling ashamed any more!

Thank you x



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Coming Out Stories!

22/3/2021

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Roaming Brit is looking for your 'Coming out Stories;' in a new regular feature, we are asking our LGBTQ+ readers to share their experiences of coming out to family and friends. Each of us has a story to tell and our words can help others wrestling with their sexuality or finding the right time to come out to loved ones. As someone born in 1971, I understand how difficult it was growing up gay, during a period of discrimination, prejudice and intolerance. My own personal experience, wasn't typical; neither good nor bad, it was a personal journey I am happy to share.

For now, I would like you to think about your own circumstances; write down your thoughts, maybe send a short video or voice recording if you prefer, and we will be happy to include it on the blog!

Roaming Brit, would like to hear from people of all ages, to build a collection, referencing 'Coming Out Stories' over the generations. No matter how demanding, challenging  or accepting your account is, we would love to include your conversations, serialising your commentary over the coming months. It doesn't matter how long or short your narratives are, all we ask is you are honest with your thoughts.

Thank you all for your continued support; we can't wait to read your responses!

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First Vaccination Done!

20/3/2021

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On Thursday I finally had my first vaccine administered at St James' Hospital in Portsmouth. I can't begin to describe the emotions I felt, as I drove up to the facility in the taxi. This was no ordinary vaccination hub; it was big, there were stewards everywhere directing us towards the long line of traffic taking people to the entrance. I can't actually believe how well-organised and smooth the process was; when I got out of the car, I was genuinely excited to be receiving my jab, a year on after we entered our first nationwide lockdown.

I joined the queue of people heading through a marquee towards the hospital. After showing my booking reference and National Health number, I was allowed into the ward, where I was shown to a seat and a nurse made some final checks. Jacket removed, sleeve rolled up I was given the AstraZeneca vaccine into my left arm. I have had a lot of injections over the years, most recently the Pneumonia jab, but this one felt like it went deeper and if I am honest hurt more than usual. The whole process was over in just a few minutes, and I was happy to be finally vaccinated.

There have been so many scare stories coming out of Europe in recent days, about the dangers of having the AstraZeneca vaccine. Citing blood clots as a major concern, I was initially in two minds about having it in the first place. I did however do some research of my own and discovered most of the information coming from the Continent wasn't quite as it seemed. After analysing the data, it looked like there were less blood clots recorded after the vaccine was given, than there otherwise would be. Any set of figures can be manipulated to suit an agenda; it is highly likely there was a political motive behind Europe suspending the use of the AstraZeneca vaccine.

My biggest fear was the side effects from the vaccination; everyone I knew who had it, were suffering effects to different degrees. Headaches, chills and fever were commonplace, so I was expecting something very similar. After getting home, I took a couple of paracetamol and waited for the worst to happen. To my surprise however, nothing manifested; after six hours, I was feeling the same I had all day and with an early start tomorrow I went to bed, expecting to wake up in a sweaty mess at some point during the night.

My alarm went off at 4 am, I had slept right through, not waking up once and felt good. There was still no side effects and I got ready to go to work as normal. I did have a slight ache at the front of my right thigh but nothing more. As the day went on at work, I still felt OK, maybe a little tired but otherwise alright. By the time I woke up this morning, my arm was throbbing and felt bruised all over, but everything else was perfect; no headaches, no fatigue and yet another good nights sleep. I guess I won't be suffering like some people, which is great for me. Nevertheless, my lack of symptoms has got me worried about whether my immune system is working as it should be, since this vaccine is supposed to produce some form of immune response.

Once again I did some reading, and it appears you don't have to feel ill or suffer adverse effects for the vaccine to work. It looks like I am just one of the lucky ones, who didn't get a bad reaction. It may well have something to do with my age and immune system not working as good as it once did, but then I have never had any form of after effects from any vaccine I've had; it just, just might be part of my genetic make up. Whatever the reasons, I am just glad I have had the jab and can feel confident that in a few weeks, I will be party protected from COVID-19 and by June 9th, after my second inoculation, I will be as safe as I possibly can.

It looks like we are finally reaching the beginning of the end of the pandemic. Over six hundred thousand people had the vaccine on the same day I did and for that reason, we must all celebrate. As days turn to weeks and months, I am sure we will all finally get back to normal and start once again where we left off. The vaccine roll out is such a triumph here in the UK because of the NHS and their hard work, it has nothing to do with our Government; their record is a disgrace. When future generations look back on this period in fifty, one hundred years time, they will be the ones to make the final judgement on our success or otherwise, until then we are the one's who need to continue doing what we can, to ensure all of us are protected and kept safe. The day is coming, when all of us can  breathe a sigh of relief, throw our masks to the wind and call time on Coronavirus and the devastation it has wreaked!
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Anticipating the Future in the COVID age!

18/3/2021

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Later on today I finally get my AstraZeneca vaccine at St James' Hospital in Portsmouth, after booking it a week ago. Even with all the scare stories circulating, about blood clots being caused by this jab and European countries stopping using this particular vaccine, I am finally looking forward to having it. Unlike the rest of the EU, I am not frightened or apprehensive about having this particular inoculation. I understand the importance of getting back to normal, which all of us need to do as soon as possible.

Darrell and I have been talking more than usual over the last few weeks, as we try and get to grips with our own situation. I should be fully protected by 9 June, when I receive my second dose of AstraZeneca, but Darrell, living in Australia, has no idea when his vaccine will be administered. Australia is understandably moving a lot slower than the UK. To be honest, it really has no reason to rush its vaccine roll out, since it has little or no cases, but that doesn't help us and our relationship.

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Darrell has to return to the United Kingdom by November, in order to keep within the terms of his visa. Despite the Worldwide pandemic, the British government is refusing to waver the 'two year' rule, stating, if he remains out of the country over this time limit, he can just apply for a 'Returning Resident Visa.' This is easier said than done; the amount of paper work involved in reapplying for resident status is huge, much more complicated than either of us would have anticipated, especially after we have been together for nearly twenty-six years. Therefore, we are determined to be reunited in November as planned; this will however be no mean task.

Britain's vaccine roll out is going remarkably well, unlike Australia. I think the last time I looked at the official figures they had only immunized 0.4 percent of the population, compared to 50 percent here in the UK. There is a marked difference in the approach both countries are following, so with time moving ever forwards, both Darrell and I are mindful of our personal time constraints.

Darrell is in category 1b of the Australian vaccine programme. As the carer of an extremely vulnerable elderly person, it is important he is vaccinated at the same time as his Mum. According to his Doctor, this second phase should begin in the middle of April. Of course, it isn't quite that simple. The authorities are three weeks behind and with Europe blocking supplies of vaccine entering Australia, it is anyone's guess when he will actually receive his first dose, let alone get his second jab. Both of us are justifiably anxious as to how this will all pan out and are busy making contingency plans should the worse happen.

Darrell needs both doses of vaccine before his flies to London. Getting a second dose would be difficult once in Britain, due to the administrative differences. Alternatively he may receive a vaccine with less than a three-month wait in-between doses, as in the case of Pfizer. Or he could wait to receive both jabs when he eventually arrives in the UK, but this would not be our preferred option. I don't want Darrell travelling on a plane, especially for twenty-four hours, without the protection he needs. Also, it is likely most airlines and governments will have 'vaccine passport' schemes in place before he is due to fly and without the inoculations, he wouldn't be able to leave Australia anyway. You can imagine our frustration at the moment; If I thought my life was fraught before marrying a foreign citizen, just think how much worse it is today, in the middle of a pandemic.

From day 1 our relationship has never been easy; it has always been an uphill struggle dealing with officials, trying to remain together in an unforgiving World. Coronavirus has tested us both in ways we could have never envisaged. Darrell and I have always found a way around the constraints our life together has brought, but living apart during COVID-19 has been the worst of all nightmares, that just continues giving.

We do remain hopeful, that circumstances will finally turn in our favour, but we are also realistic, that the progress made during this pandemic could so easily change for the worse. Not until Darrell finally sets foot on British soil once again, safe and well, will we both be happy and at peace again. No one could have foreseen this situation a few years ago, and we can only remain positive in the face of this virus. All of us have our Corona stories to tell, but in contrast to most of you, my life remains on hold, long after the relief you feel after receiving your vaccines. I hope 2021 will finally be our year and Darrell and I can get back to normal and put this dreadful time behind us. Unlike so many others, we are both alive and well and have our future ahead of us, for that we remain grateful; let the hard work begin!
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Vaccination!

12/3/2021

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I had some good news finally this week; I am eligible for the COVID-19 Vaccination. After receiving a text from the NHS, I was able to book my appointment at St James Hospital in Portsmouth relatively easily. Next Thursday, approximately a year after this dreadful pandemic took hold, I will finally get my first injection, followed by a second one on the 9th June.

According to the message I received from the NHS, I have underlying health issues, that have given me priority, during the first wave of vaccinations. I do indeed have many health complications, but I'm not entirely sure which ones have allowed me to receive the jab early. My best guess is, it is a combination of all of them. I do have some kidney issues however, which were highlighted in an ultrasound I recently had. Whatever the reason, I am just glad to be having it as soon as possible. For me, this signals the beginning of the end of the virus and I can't wait to get back to normal.

Surprisingly, there are still some people who don't want the vaccine and I literally have no idea why. I mean why wouldn't you want to protect yourself and others, from the worst effects of this disease. I am baffled by anti-vaxxers and the dangerous misinformation they are peddling, to support their case. Lies and fabrication to encourage others not to have the vaccination are completely dishonest and shows a complete lack of understanding about Coronavirus. Whether these misguided individuals truly believe in the inaccuracies they encourage, or they are simply denying the facts, without any thought or comprehension as to why, I am not sure. Whatever their reasons, they are dangerous and in my opinion, we shouldn't be giving them a platform to peddle their nonsense.

The UK has vaccinated nearly 25 million people now, far more than any other comparable European nation; we should be proud of just what our NHS has achieved. Our Government failed on so many levels at the beginning of this pandemic. I have mentioned their failings many times before and don't want to do so again. What I do what to mention is just how far we have come in the last year. I really can't believe where we were a year ago, compared to today; the biggest vaccination programme in UK history underlies that. This is a country that has changed out of all proportion and whether we return to the 'old normal' is anyone's guess, but the journey all of us have been on, has completely turned our lives upside down.

I've just had a look at my old Facebook status updates on this day last year. To be honest it was scary reading them. The chatter was about the 'killer virus' and how 90 percent of us would contract it by the beginning of 2021. There was certainly a lot of anxiety in my words back then, so much so, it brings back the terrible memories twelve months ago. A lot has happened since last March, just before we headed into the first lockdown, and look where we are now. 125,000 dead, when the Government said 20,000 would be a 'good' outcome and many millions more who have suffered economically and mentally. Patients remain in intensive care, children have missed nearly a year of school, businesses have closed for good and the effects of 'Long COVID' looms large over the landscape; a medical crisis in the making!

Today we are approaching the end of lockdown number three and nearly fifty percent of the adult population are now vaccinated against COVID-19. Death rates are falling and fewer people are contracting Coronavirus. The vaccination programme that began towards the end of December 2020, has done amazingly well at protecting the nation through this terrible period. When I receive my jab next Thursday, I can breathe a slight sigh of relief, until I get my second dose. I hope this really is the beginning of the end of COVID, but none of us can be entirely sure how this traumatic time will conclude; after all, the course of the virus turned out very differently to what we expected. Let's hope all of us can get back to the way things were, hug our family and friends and finally relax again, living our lives as we would like to do. The end is in sight, lets not blow it now.... Stay safe, remain well, keep your distance and above all, HAVE YOUR JAB!

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Harry and Meghan!

10/3/2021

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Like most people, I sat down to watch the interview with Harry and Meghan on Monday evening. I had heard the headlines, after their audience with Oprah Winfrey on Sunday, but wanted to hear for myself, just what this couple had to say. Since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex left the UK for America just over a year ago there has been much speculation about their reasons for doing so. Sunday in the United States, Harry and Meghan, finally broke their silence on what seemed to be a very traumatic period in their lives. To say that it was explosive, was an understatement; as an ardent Monarchist, even I was shocked by the revelations they spoke so eloquently about. These were two people who had suffered real pain and prejudice, during their time as senior members of the Royal Family together!

I have commented on many current affairs issues, over the years writing Roaming Brit, but these circumstances are very different to those I have highlighted before. Meghan's experience resonated with me, unlike other subjects I have covered. This was a woman who had suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts, rather like I have in the past. The fact that her cries for help were for the most part ignored, was an experience I have encountered myself. It was testament to her own strength that she survived and was able to finally tell her story.

It is difficult for people to understand just what a person goes through, when they have to contend with suicidal thoughts. A deeply heartbreaking experience, it is a thought process that only the victim can comprehend. The manifestation of these feelings are unique to each individual, which is why there is no easy answer, to solving the issues contained within those emotions. It is important that anyone suffering should be believed, acknowledged and directed towards the help they need. Clearly this wasn't Meghans experience and if I am honest, a terrible indictment on the royal household. On the surface at least, it would seem the Monarchy has learnt nothing from the experiences of Diana Princess of Wales, Harry's Mother.

For most of the interview, I was sat aghast at the depiction of events unfolding before me. Both of them had clearly suffered dramatically over the months after their wedding and were given very little or no help at all. This was their time to get across their points of view and personal recollections, of a period that clearly left both of them scarred. I think the questions here are why was this allowed to happen, and why did these two people feel so aggrieved at their treatment?

None of us really understand the workings of the Royal 'Firm,' It is clear there is an overlap of personal and public duty. The Queen, Prince Charles, Prince William and everyone else are all part of a family, whose sense of public service is undeniable. The Queen and her husband Prince Phillip, have served the United Kingdom and Commonwealth unwaveringly, over the nearly seventy years Her Majesty has been on the throne. However, in many incidences, her own personal bonds with family has had to take a back seat, as emotions are set aside for other pressing official matters. Somewhere along the line, Meghan and Harry's well-being has been sacrificed, rightly or wrongly, for the greater good. One has to remember these are two people who have sensitivities and emotions, that need to be respected and understood, not dismissed and rejected. Direct contact with the Queen, may well have helped to solve many of the issues they highlighted.

The allegations of a racially motivated question in regard to their then unborn baby, Archie, is hard to understand. Asking Harry just how dark his new son would be, was insensitive at least, racist at worst and should never have been said by a member of the Royal Family. As a white man, I can not fully understand the issues that surround racism, because I have never experienced it myself. However, if Meghan and Harry felt demeaned by a question regarding the colour of their son, then it is not for me or anyone else to judge. Trying to justify the comment as an innocent off the cuff remark, when you have no idea of the pain it caused, is to deny somebody's apprehensions as not being valid. Both of them clearly felt this was a racial slur and deserve our support.

Television and social media was full of vitriol and malevolence towards the Duke and Duchess the day after their interview. I was disgusted and appalled by the comments made by broadcasters, internet trolls and from people who have no understanding of the impediments involved. The personal attacks made against Meghan in particular, who had suffered dreadfully, was awful to witness. I have heard and seen much in my life, but even I was taken aback, by the level and intensity of the onslaught they both suffered. This was a woman who had contemplated suicide and suffered racial abuse, yet she was being called a liar and disbelieved by some of the most influential journalists in the country, that was truly horrifying to watch.

I am and will always be a Monarchist, regardless of this latest scandal. The Queen remains the best public servant we have and works tirelessly for our country. Despite the Queens dedication, I can also support two people who have suffered from abuse, just because of who they are. There was clearly no support for Meghan, as there wasn't for Princess Diana, and she undoubtedly felt alone and unable to continue her life as a leading member of the royal family. Buckingham Palace once again have a lot to learn from these allegations and in order for all parties to move forward, all concerns must be addressed. If there is racism, it must be dealt with. Equally, anyone suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts must be taken seriously and not dismissed. There should be a complete overhaul of the structure within the Palace that allowed these serious allegations to be overlooked. Maybe its time other members of the family were now put in the spotlight for their misdemeanours  and Meghan and Harry are left alone, to finally live the life they want to lead. A time for change is approaching, and it should be embraced, not resisted, modernity demands transformation.

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