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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'
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Gay Grandma, Kirsty and Imogen!

2/9/2019

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On Thursday I met an old friend, someone I haven’t seen since 2015 and someone who played an important part in mine and Darrell’s life – Kirsty, a young lady with a heart of gold and a person who was always there for me, when times got rough, as they often did. I have very little time to see anyone these days, so for me it was fantastic meeting with Kirsty after so long. Since returning to the UK, I have started a process of reconnecting with many of those I was closest to and relaying the foundations of friendship, in a way I never did before.

In 2015, Kirsty gave birth to a lovely baby girl, after what I can only describe as a traumatic, upsetting and stressful time. We can’t choose who we ultimately fall in love with and Kirsty just got involved with the wrong guy. On the positive side she was now the Mother to Imogen, who became integral to all our lives.

For the next five months we all became close, spending as much time together as we could, before Darrell and I left for our new life in Spain in January 2016. Kirsty called us gay Grandma and Grandad and her and Imogen often stayed over at our home in Southampton, as we packed up our lives and sold our possessions before our date of departure. Imogen was the first child in my life; I had never been around children before, even though I was an Uncle. Family issues and a break down in communication had prevented me from fulfilling a role that in reality I would have cherished.

During Imogen’s first few weeks, I was reluctant to hold her at all, as I still am with any child. My lack of experience was always a barrier to bonding with any baby, let alone one so young and fragile, so I looked in from the outside, as others played their part. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t feel left out, I just didn’t want the responsibility of cradling a new born. In time that changed and I soon became able to hold imogen, eventually becoming very attached to this little girl, sadly just in time for us to move abroad.

Seeing ‘not so little’ imogen on Thursday, I was amazed by how grown up she was. Unbelieveably, she is only four years old, but extremely intelligent and able to hold an almost adult conversation. As a Mum, Kirsty has done an amazing job bringing her up on her own. She is polite, respectful and clearly loves her Mum with all her heart. It was wonderful to see these two, so close and happy together, especially after the difficulties of the past.

All of us spent a perfect day together, beginning with lunch at the Ship Anson, along the coast near Portsmouth’s Historic Dockyard. With a bottle of Australian Chardonnay, we chatted about the past and looked forward to the future. Kirsty has grown as a person in all respects, her life although not the easiest, shows just how far she has come and as we ate our pub lunch I was aware of just how much I had changed to, becoming a much better person than I once was and far happier now than ever.

Imogen gripped hold of mine and her Mothers hand tightly, as we left the pub, walking the short distance to the sea front, funfair and beach. Kirsty and Imogen went on the Waltzer, while I happily stood to one side taking photographs. I was never a fan of this ride and like me, when I first went on this dreaded whirligig, Kirsty was a little sick, running to the toilets to get changed and try and regain a little composure...There is a reason I don’t do fairgrounds as a rule!

Finally we took a short walk along the stony beach, watching the Hovercraft fly in from the Isle of Wight, collecting stones and breathing in the sea air, followed by a few hours in the arcades playing on the coin pushers, just like I used to, with my family forty or so years ago. I felt like I had travelled back in time, for a short period and enjoyed dipping into my childhood, even if it was brief. Suitably tired we left, walking along the city castle walls in time to catch the train back home!

It wont be too long before I see Kirsty and Imogen again; I hope they will remain as close as they can from now onwards. It is true we all lead busy lives, but as we all get older it is important to cherish the friendships we have and make time for each other. All of us have changed during the intervening years, whilst Darrell and I were living in Spain, but it was great to pick up from where we left off and begin our journey once again!
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Let's Rock Southampton!

8/7/2019

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On Saturday I went with two friends, Debbie and Hayley to the 'Let's Rock Southampton' festival, a train ride away, in the City where I lived for over twenty years. It was a blisteringly hot day, perfect for enjoying the now familiar music festival organised annually on the south coast. This isn't a festival for teenagers and young adults, this is a retro 1980s homage, where most of the party goers are in their late 40s early 50s. Despite being busy, with thousands of people in attendance, there was no trouble or antisocial behaviour found at similar events!

As a rule you will never see me at a concert or festival, it really isn't my thing. I can't think of anything worse being surrounded by crowds of people, paying for overpriced substandard food in searing heat or even worse, pouring rain. However this was an event I was looking forward to. I am a fan of all things 80s and of course enjoy the music from the era. This was a day I was determined to enjoy, spending time with Debbie and Hayley, which is always a pleasure.

As we approached the park, I was contacted by Dom an old friend, who used to live with me back in the year 2004. Dom was with his friend Lizi, who I also knew and they wanted to meet in the park. I haven't seen Dom since I returned to the UK last year and was excited he was coming. He was in fine fettle and I was absolutely overjoyed to be spending the day with him and Lizi as well. It really did bring back so many memories of our time together, clubbing in Bournemouth and London. Happy memories on  a perfect day!

The queues getting into the park were long and I was expecting a two hour wait, but the lines of party goers soon disappeared and we were through the gates within twenty minutes. The acts had just started on stage and we quickly made our way to the Pimms tent and bought a jug for twenty eight pounds, hugely expensive and with a low level of alcohol, that never really hit the spot. A small bottle of beer wasn't much cheaper, at five pounds a pop, but was far more enjoyable and I was more than happy to pay the price.  With burgers costing on average eight pounds and a small tub of chinese food over a tenner, this really wasn't going to be a cheap day.
The reason we were all there was the music and for the most part I wasn't disappointed. Westworld and Toyah were amazing and really put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. I used to be a big fan of Toyah's, so it was fantastic to finally see her live. I have no idea how old she is now, but her voice was just as good as I remember. Listening to these two acts really felt like stepping back in time, in a good way...I haven't been to a festival before but suddenly felt a conversion coming on, maybe this would be the beginning of a new chapter in my life.

Whilst enjoying a quick pit stop - Chinese Chicken and rice and a pint of Fosters, Belinda Carlisle came on stage. Now she was the act I most wanted to see, one of my all time favourite artists. Quickly I ran through the thronging crowd to get a good view; she was amazing, looking fantastic for her age and her voice was just as I remember. The music was flawless and her performance was the best experience of the whole day.


Toyah


Limahl


Belinda Carlisle
The eighties were indeed a special time for me. I was born in 1971 and grew up through what I consider to be the best decade, at least of my lifetime. The music, television, films and emerging technological revolution were a catalyst for my memories today. Standing in a field with thousands of others, on a hot summers day in 2019, I was transported back 35 years, reliving a youth that seemed like only yesterday. Someone once said to me, 'if you could go back and live your life again, would you?' There was only one answer I could give to that....A firm unequivocal YES; I would go back tomorrow and relive those years and all the others I survived, again and again and again.

Life teaches us many lessons and I have much to learn from the last four decades. So much has happened and even more has gone wrong, but it is true to say, the eighties were the first and last best years of my life; thereafter my life took many wrong paths. The 1980s were a time of great change, not only for me, but also the World. The messages in the music of the time spoke of a better future for all and although these years were not the best for everyone, they were for me. My life as an impressionable teenager began in 1982 and as I adapted to adulthood, the eighties took a final bow. Ten years of adventure, self determination and expression soon became a distant memory and I became the person I am today, a product of a time that I wont easily forget! Long live the 80s!
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Murderer In Our Midst!

19/3/2019

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A few months ago someone I once knew, was sentenced to life in Prison for murdering his partner. Shane Roberts (Not his real name) viciously attacked his girlfriend Marie with a baseball bat, before stabbing her in the neck with a shard of glass from a broken mirror. I was in two minds whether to write anything about this incident, but felt compelled to after the impact he had on my life and that of my friends! Initially I was going to write about this incident in December, when his sentence was announced, but felt the trauma for all those involved was too raw and left it until today, before writing these words!

Shane was introduced to me and others by a mutual friend and at first we all got on well as a group. He had a charm about him that was actually quite endearing, but on occasion, a nasty side would surface; alarm bells would ring. During this time he formed a relationship with one of my friends, who I will call Lisa; consequently she became pregnant with his child, giving birth to a lovely baby girl, who it has to be said, is a credit to her, bringing her up extremely well, away from the destructive influence of her Father.

Like Marie, this young Mum went through a difficult time, suffering abuse on a daily basis. On one occasion I witnessed him attack her and it wasn't long before these two individuals split and went their separate ways; this wasn't the end of the matter however and Shane continued to make life difficult for Lisa and others who knew her! After giving evidence to the Police, Shane was ordered to stay away, but continued to harass those who knew her best, turning up on my doorstep, pleading for help before I left to live in Spain. At the time I felt guilty about not letting him into my home, but realise now, I could have had a lucky escape.

I had very little contact with Shane after we moved abroad, but did hear from him from time to time, usually a sob story about how his life was going and how the World was against him. Lisa had also moved on, but still looked over her shoulder, wondering when he would turn up and the circle of strife would start all over again. All the while Shane continued down a reckless path, frequently arrested and spending time in jail.

When I announced I was returning to the UK on 25 May 2018, Shane was the first person I heard from, trying to arrange a meeting, wanting to see me urgently, for reasons unknown. He bombarded my mobile night and day and eventually I blocked him from social media and my phone. This isn't the course of action I would have followed in the past, always trying to do what I could to help someone who needed it most, but something told me it was the right thing at the time. I have become a very good judge of character in recent years and without exception follow my gut instinct, when deciding whether or not to remove someone from my life.

As a trained Mentor and Advocate, I was always aware of how to deal with certain individuals and used my experiences to help those unfortunate souls who had lost their way in life. Part of my skills, learned whilst working for 'Action for Children,' was my ability to listen and articulate what I had heard, in order to create a dialogue between two inherently opposed sides. I have always been a good negotiator and do my best to achieve an amicable outcome for all, without the need for confrontation and conflict. I see the good in people and want them to succeed and overcome adversity, because all of us deserve the same chances in life. Shane however pushed me to the limits of what I could reasonably do and sadly I chose to give up on him as a person. This had rarely happened in my life, but one must reasonably know when to draw the line.

When I was told what had transpired between Shane and his partner, I was shocked. I knew this guy had his problems, but didn't think for one minute he could be a murderer; although thinking logically, what does a murderer actually look and act like anyway?

Yesterday I was asked if I wanted to do some more advocacy work, with a leading British charity, something I have agreed to think about. Today I lead a very busy life and rarely have time to think, but I am always open to new challenges and understand I can make a difference to other peoples lives. There will always be people like Shane in the World, people that can't be assisted, but there are also others who may have just gone off the rails and can be encouraged to mend their ways. I often think 'what if?' in Shane's case, but am frequently reminded that he was a person who couldn't be helped in the end. Rather than beating myself up over a man who will spend the rest of his life in jail, I should be concentrating on those he left behind, the real victims and providing a voice, a shoulder to cry on and a catalyst for expression.

I hope to channel my time and energy into helping those who need it most and will likely accept an offer to become an advocate once again. The personalities and characters we meet throughout our lives are a benchmark for the future. I hope to use my experiences with Shane to push me forwards along roads I haven't travelled before. As his memory fades, new impressions will take his place and the negativity that surrounds his departure will become a positive change for the future!
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The Magnum Club - Personal reflections at a time of change!

20/2/2019

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A new group has been established on facebook entitled 'Magnum Club - Southampton!' The group, dedicated to all those who used to attend this iconic nightclub in Southampton, has well over three hundred members now and is growing everyday. It was set up by former Manager David Moss, a person I know well from my years living in the city. Members are taken on a journey back in time, familiar faces, stories, photographs and club memorabilia are the backbone of this page. People who used to go to this nightclub in the St Mary's area of Southampton are able to chat with one another and relive their past, spent dancing the night away in a club that focused predominantly on the gay community that it served.

The Magnum opened its doors in 1969; if my memory serves me right, it was the oldest gay club in the Country until it closed in Easter 2004. My journey, as a fully fledged gay man, if there is such a thing, began in 1992, when I first walked through the ominous black doors of the club, on the corner of the road where I used to live. I was a student and had just 'come out' to University friends. I knew the Magnum was a gay venue, but had never actually been inside, until I plucked up the courage one Friday night in November, during my first year living in Southampton.

As I sharply knocked on the door, a rectangle peep hole opened, a voice echoing beyond, asking me if I knew what kind of establishment I was hoping to enter. Avoiding eye contact, I nodded my head and was duly invited inside. This was the first time I had been in any such place and was mesmerized by my first trip into the unknown. I was drunk and got even drunker as the night progressed enjoying my new found freedom  and a long list of phone numbers I had collected by the end of the evening. It wasn't long before I was walking through those doors again and again and again.

The years between 1992 and 2000 were important to me; apart from spells living in Australia, Southampton was my home and The Magnum was a place I frequented regularly, celebrating my sexuality, around like minded individuals. I met my first, second and current long term partner in this place and spent many years getting to know those who called it 'their own!' The sense of belonging in  this club was palpable, friends returning night after night, week after week. The Magnum was at the centre of a large, close-knit  and at times difficult gay community. This club had hosted many events, celebrated innumerable milestones and witnessed a sea change in attitudes towards the very people it served; it was a monument to the struggle every gay person fought to legitimise their place in the World. When one entered the club, one suddenly became the majority, the discrimination disappeared and all of us could be who we damn well wanted to be. A club so steeped in history had become the benchmark for the future all of us enjoy today.

At forty eight years old, I look back with fondness at this period of my life. I met many wonderful personalities at The Magnum, many of whom I remain in contact with today. The impact they had on my life has become more relevant as I have grown older. Dancing, chatting eagerly with new found friends and escaping the harsh realities of 90s Britain was life enhancing and allowed me to discover who I really was. I liked my first experience of the gay scene and the club at its very heart and clambered for more. Of course the more you immerse yourself in a group or institution like The Magnum, the more familiar your colleagues become. The people I met there were akin to family and bonds were formed, relationships blossomed and inevitable arguments and distrust occurred, all part of the course when you live your life in close proximity with others, who also walked through the door of the club at the end of the road. Back then, unlike today, people returned to The Magnum regularly, in the same way I attend a social club, visit my family or knock on my neighbours door. I can't stress enough, just how close everyone was. For a young man in his early twenties, like me, it was so different to what I was used to.

The Magnum gave many of us a sense of purpose in an unforgiving World. Many of those I knew had little or no contact with parents, rather like me. The society we lived in twenty five years ago was very different to that of today. Being gay was still a big deal. Parents seemed at least to be less accepting than those in 2019. The Magnum and its patrons became surrogates for the family many of us didn't have. Human nature dictates our desire for acceptance and this club nurtured that need.

From the downstairs brightly lit bar, playing popular hits of the time, the middle 'chill out' room, flowered wallpaper adorning the walls and the dark, sweat fueled upper dance floor, hardened clubbers oblivious to the World outside, The Magnum catered for all. There are many nights I can't remember, too 'wasted' to recall; equally there are other weekends, still vivid in my memories, pictures flooding back triggered from a recollection, flashback or name on the tip of my tongue. Male strippers, World Aids Day, DJ Mark Dukes, Brian Conley in the bar. A conversation with Danny Le Rue in the toilet, bumping into Sue Pollard in the foyer, all special moments, a part of me and the words I write, vivid, like watching TV!

The Magnum was a one off, never again to be repeated. The gay scene today is banal and sterile in comparison, without purpose or the guts to campaign on issues we still need to conclude. The history of me is rooted in the walls of a club, no longer there, a part of me lingers at the back of the dance floor, in the dark, under the DJ box in the sky and my future, still uncertain as it was in 1995, becomes my focus in middle age, whilst all the time remembering with passion a life lived hedonistically, decadently, unrestrained in a club that opened my mind!
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Click above for direct link to facebook page!
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Dommey!

26/7/2018

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One of the reasons for my return to the UK, is about building bridges. It is clear I will not be living in Britain forever; this is but a stopover while Darrell and I make our final decision, about where our future lies. It is important to grasp this opportunity to reconnect with friends without reservation; this includes engaging with people I haven't seen for many years; Dom is one of those people.

Darrell and I met Dom in 2003, whilst going through yet more testing times in our life. We had much in common and enjoyed the same lifestyle. It became a very close friendship, which ended up with us all living together for a period of time. This was a phase when our business in Salisbury closed, and we both needed somewhere to stay, since we lived above the premises itself; Dom kindly obliged. We remained close for five years, when we finally went our separate ways after a rather acrimonious fall out, something else that regularly happens in my life.

Whilst living in Spain, Dom and I re-established a friendship by the wonders of facebook, chatting often and reliving memories, from what was essentially a positive period in my life. On returning to the UK, I made it a priority to catch up with my old mate, as we did on Thursday. As I grow older I find friendships more important, not only messaging and chatting on social media, but also meeting those who were once an important part of my life, in the flesh. As human beings, one to one contact is important for our wellbeing and we should all make an effort to see our nearest and dearest as often as we can.

Dom really hasn't changed that much and is still the same person he was fifteen years ago, Like both of us, we are slightly older, far more aware of life and filled out in all the right places. Both of us spent a pleasant afternoon on the hottest day of the year, drinking a few pints of Stella at the Giddy Bridge in Southampton.

When you spend time in the company of old friends, it really is amazing what recollections come flooding back; occasions and events that I had thought I had forgotten, when actually it just needed someone like Dom to jog the old grey matter. I had a thoroughly wonderful time. ending up with a tour of Dom's new flat at the grade II listed Wyndham court, right in the heart of the city.

I intend to see many more people while I am here and am glad I can knock another person off my bucket list of friends to see and things to do while I am in Britain. I am sure I will see Dom again, I am only a train journey away after all. Next time he wants to come and see me in Portsmouth, where once again we can talk, remember and discuss just where our lives have taken us; a difficult road, full of twists and turns, which only now, as I approach my fifties becomes important to my future direction. We can only move forwards in life, if we can come to terms with the past and those who played a part in our story. It is necessary to learn from our mistakes but most importantly accept just how far we have come. Without the input of others, our lives would be all the poorer, Dom opened my eyes to new ideas and concepts, he is the wayward brother I never had !
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Southampton Friends!

9/6/2018

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On Friday afternoon I was also able to meet some old friends from Southampton. My Brother from another Mother Gavin, Lee and Justin, who came out to visit Darrell and I last year in Spain. I can at least cross another three people off my list of mates to see.

I spent a rather boozy afternoon at the Giddy Bridge in Southampton, talking and remeniscing about the old days, something I have been doing a lot of recently. These three characters, who used to feature very strongly in my life, haven't changed a bit, which is actually quite reassuring.

My life is currently changing on an almost daily basis; I have no idea when I am going to be from one day to the next, so sitting having a pint of Stella with loved ones who do the same things, drink in the same bar and have the same feelings about life as me, is really special. Until 2015 I was part of this group, and despite the ups and downs I experienced at the time, I wouldn't change the time I spent with these people for anything. We have a lot of shared experiences and will always remain close in one guise or another.

Since arriving in Southampton nearly three weeks ago, I have made a point of seeing as many people as I can. I want to spend time with as many of those I connected with, whilst living in this City by the sea. I have some very important decisions to make very soon, and everyone I am in contact with since returning are helping me to finally choose the right path in life.

I value many peoples opinions; all of them are different, diverse and important in their own right; all of them are equally as important. Gavin, Lee and Justin are part of a past that is long since gone, but they are a reminder of good and bad times spent together. I suppose in many respects they are the rebellious side of me, that has been supressed for the last three years. They are also the honest about the direction they are following in life and will always tell me the truth. Everyone has different friends for different reasons, these  were the people who took me along some difficult roads, but they were also the ones who helped me decide to change my life and for that I am truly grateful!
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More Familiar Faces - Denise Snow!

8/6/2018

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On Thursday I made my way to Southampton again, I had to catch up with a few friends, still trying to fit everyone in before I leave the UK. I arrived early, so decided to pop in and see my old Deputy Manager Denise, from my days working at Oxfam.  The last time I saw her, was just before I left for Spain, so we had a lot to talk about. I have emailed her whilst living abroad but today was about chatting about the 'old days,' where we both are now and the future. Life throws up many challenges, many of which Denise and I lived through whilst working for Oxfam but friendship will always overcome adversity. We have much in common because of our past experiences; shared circumstances that will always connect us both together.

It is fantastic to see this lady doing well, after being treated so badly by the charity we both used to work for. I chose to move abroad to forget the past, Denise remained in Southampton, choosing to work for another, more reputable charity and by all accounts is happy and thankful to be where she is today!

The pain I experience everyday from my time working at Oxfam will not go away easily, if at all. I have learnt to live with it, as much as Denise has, but bad memories will never disappear they will just get easier to deal with. I suppose you could call Denise a battler, who works hard to make ends meet. Like all of us who lived through the difficulties Oxfam perpetuated, we all have to get on with living, we can not let these people do any more damage than they already have.

Denise still see's volunteers who worked with us from time to time; Southampton is a small place and faces will always pop up. I think it's probably fare to say, they are all doing remarkably well. It's good to hear that everyone I worked with all those years ago are still upbeat and chipper, as volunteers usually are. They are a unique breed, those who give up their time free and gratis; it is only a shame they were not recognised for their contribution to the sector they embraced.

It is always good to catch up on the local gossip over a cuppa, something I have wanted to do with Denise for so long. Nothing much changes in Southampton, but it is important to reflect over the past, after all I lived in this place for nearly 25 years. Denise like me is hopeful for the future; life will undoubtedly take each of us down many different paths, but at least we will continue to share a bond, that will endure the test of time; that's what friendship is all about!
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Nathan!

6/6/2018

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Yesterday I managed to see my old mate Nathan, one of the few people I can truly say I am close too. We used to spend a lot of time together and have known each other for about five years now; not a long time on the scale of things, but a lifetime, after living through the circumstances, both he and I endured, not too long ago.

Nathan was one of the few people that came out and visited both Darrell and I when we moved to Spain, bringing his friend Ash along with him, who I also saw yesterday. We had a lovely dinner at The Spice Inn on Southsea seafront. It brought a lot of memories flooding back, enjoying a few hours in this old pub. I used to come down here quite a lot when I was a student, many years ago; it's changed a lot!
Following an early dinner it was a drive along the south coast towards Fareham and Southampton, where I revisited many of the places I used to frequent when I lived there. From Hamble to the London Hotel, it was fantastic to see my favourite parts of home; It was especially lovely to spend time at our old Wedding venue, the London. Our Marriage in 2015 is a cherished memory and it was great to see the old place after so long. The one thing I like about this hotel, is the continuity; it never changes and I like that at my time of life; it is a traditional gay venue in the heart of Southampton, showing cabaret acts and hosting live events, one of the few pubs of its kind left. This place reminds me of just what home is all about and I felt totally relaxed, as if I had never left.

The time I am spending here has been a breath of fresh air. I am thoroughly enjoying this pilgrimage to my old home town...For now, long may it continue!
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Familiar Faces!

1/6/2018

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I spent the day in Southampton yesterday, the first time since I arrived in the UK on 25th May. As I walked around the City I was struck by just how much it has changed. There are new buildings everywhere; Guildhall Square looks completely different from when I was last there in 2015. There is of course a brand new extension to the West Quay Shopping Centre and the old Bargate Shopping Centre, behind the castle in the centre of town is no more. There is a new theatre and arts centre as well as an influx of restaurants covering the town.

I have always been fond of my old home, but when I arrived at Southampton Central Station, I had this strange feeling come over me; this place I had lived in for a quarter of a century no longer felt like home. For the first time in my life, I felt like a stranger in my own country. To be perfectly honest it was quite an unsettling feeling. Don't get me wrong I am happy to be back, but it feels very strange; don't forget I have been living outside the UK for nearly three years now, so it is going to feel a bit disconcerting.
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I was in Southampton to meet Jay, who was the best man at my Wedding; I haven't seen or heard from him since I left the UK. We pretty much fell out over something stupid, as is usual in our case, yes it has happened before and will probably happen again. Anyway, I decided to contact Jay a few months back and we have been talking for quite sometime now. Jay is an important part of my life and helped me get through some pretty tough times, so it was only right that we rekindled our friendship. Sat there talking with him again was fantastic, just like it used to be, I really enjoyed spending time with him after so long; we did after all have a lot to talk about.

Jay treated me to dinner at 'Mango;' a small restaurant on Southampton High Street, tapas, not traditionally Spanish, but tasty nonetheless. We managed to fill each other in on our different lives and I was pleased to hear how well this lad is doing. Thankfully he no longer works for Oxfam and has managed to move forwards in a constructive focused way. Despite living in completely different countries, leading vastly disparate lives, we can at least now manage to stay in contact  and concentrate on forming a lasting bond. The fact we no longer see each other everyday, will probably go in our favour. I have always valued our friendship and look forward to seeing Jay again before I leave!
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Whilst walking though the city centre, I bumped into Joe, or baby Joe as I call him. He has been a friend since he was knee high; it was great seeing him also. Joe has turned into a fine young man, which is nice to see; he never changes mind you and still looks the same as when I first met him.

It is people like Joe that make me miss my life in Southampton. I have realised just what I have left behind and at my time of life it doesn't necessarily sit well with me. Joe does remind me of just how small the city of Southampton is. Walking through the streets, I recognised many people, passing the time of day with many. Although Southampton is a City, it is relatively small. I met Joe through Darrell, they used to work together and we became good friends with both him and his sister, often going to see bands play at the popular venue, 'Talking Heads;' I'm not even sure the place is still there as I haven't been there for over five hears. It's on my list of things to do, while I'm staying on the South Coast!

I'm sure I will see Joe again before I leave; it was sad it was such a brief chat. I am however trying to fit as much as I can into my time back home and want to make the most of my time, spent in Britain. The only thing I want from this vacation is memories and plenty of them. As a person I have changed much in recent times, my values and priorities are now very much at odds with the person I used to be; that can only be a good thing!
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Back Home!

28/5/2018

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It was an early start for me on Friday, as I left Spain for the UK. I have no idea how long I am going to be here and am really not sure what will happen next. I haven't felt this unsettled in a long time, but despite the current challenges in my life, I have at least been able to return home and spend time with people who are important to me; friends and family alike.

After a rather turbulent aeroplane journey from Alicante I finally arrived at a rather busy Southampton Airport. This was my first time on British soil in two and a half years. The security as I entered the country, was well over and above anything I had experienced before and I was surprised at the amount of new measures in place to protect all those travelling to and from the UK.

After a ten minute journey, I was picked up at Southampton Central train station by Aunty Myra, someone I have known for many years. I was happy spending my first few days back home in Myra's company; we had a lot to catch up on, sharing memories and more importantly, discussing the future. A mutual friend Elaine popped round on my first evening as we continued to chat about 'old times.' A few glasses of beer, home cooked Bolognese and beautiful weather ended the day perfectly.

On Saturday Myra's sister Jean came over. I have known Jean, even longer than Myra, she used to work for Darrell and I, when we had our business in Salisbury and has remained close for well over twenty years. Following a curry, we headed out to play Bingo for the evening, not something I do on a regular basis, but nevertheless an enjoyable experience, despite not winning a thing; story of my life. I've never been lucky, remarking to Jean about 'not having a gambling habit at least, otherwise I would be even more broke than I am now.'

Jamie, who used to live with me in  Spain, during my first year there, was calling the numbers at Gala Bingo in Lordshill. I haven't seen him since January 2017; Once again it was good to catch up with more people from my past; many more to come!
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    48 year old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently residing in my hometown of Portsmouth on the south coast of England!

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    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
            Luke Feb 16
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