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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Building foundations for success in the future!

27/6/2022

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It has been a busy week for me, and I am feeling particularly tired. I am currently working a lot of hours and rarely have time to myself. Saving for lots of different things, especially during this cost of living crisis, is proving more challenging than I expected, even with me being in an enviable position. Like all of you, I am feeling the pinch, with my living costs going up daily, and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. I was using my time here in the UK productively, saving hard for the future but at present the targets I set for myself seem to be slipping away, as I try and keep my head above water. This is not a great period to be alive and like everyone, I am fearful for the future. 

Just yesterday I checked the value of my pensions, as I do from time to time, and was shocked at the collapse in  their value. In a little over four months, my main pension has fallen 20% and all the gains made over the last three years have been lost; now that is scary, especially when I want to retire in four years time. I understand pensions and investments do fluctuate, it's just part of the course, but the figures I am seeing just indicate a continual decline, unlike anything I have ever seen before.

Equally, the various share holdings I own have also dramatically declined and fallen even further than my pensions. With most of my cash tied up in a high interest savings account, I am fortunate not to have invested too big a portion of my money into higher risk financial products. However, the state of the World economy is still a worrying concern for my future, and I am keeping a close eye on all my investments. We are being hammered from all sides; higher taxes and bills, as well as rising inflation that is dangerously out of control. 

My current thinking is to continue putting as much money away as I can, especially with such a bleak outlook moving forwards; that isn't really going to change. My desire to buy a property is of course my overriding ambition, but after taking advice, I am aware that this isn't the right time to do so. As the crisis gets worse, it looks likely, that house prices will crash in the very near future and I want to be able to pick up a bargain when the time is right. Whether we buy here or abroad, I just have no idea, but by the time I reach my 55th Birthday I hope to finally have a home of my own. 

It is important for me to have goals, which I work towards daily. It gives me focus at especially difficult times. As a person, I have always been terrible with money, so this is the first time I've actually made a positive impact on my finances. I am mindful, nevertheless, of the challenging months ahead, and I am extremely concerned at the possible implications of a continued collapse in financial markets. This is the time I should be building for the future, instead I am battling to stay afloat. Darrell and I are far luckier than most, not having to pay bills, but we do have a lot of outgoings to contend with, and they are just getting more and more burdensome daily. Like everyone else, though, there is very little I can do about it.

The last four years have had their high and low points; the lack of personal space does take its toll, especially recently. Spending the majority of my time at work or held up in a single room doesn't do wonders for my mental health, but I am aware that the sacrifices I am making now should pay dividends in the future. On the plus side, my financial astuteness has increased beyond measure. I have saved more money than I ever have done in my life, and my current circumstances have allowed me to build the foundations for success in the future.

Both Darrell and I are also fortunate to have chosen our friends, far more wisely, than we have done in the past. We no longer have the hangers on, the people who just take, borrow and never pay back and more importantly, we no longer suffer fools gladly. I have a very small group of close friends and never trust anyone I don't know well enough. Yesterday, I went out with a small group of work colleagues, and we had a fabulous night; a rare occasion when Darrell and I spent time with others outside our family circle.
My finances have always taken a severe battering because of other people, which is why we have to be so careful these days. No longer easily influenced or afraid to say no, I am happy to have decent people back in my life. I was such a bad judge of character in the past, that I could never see the impending disaster waiting in the wings. The more I desired the company of others, the more money I spent, and all I am left with today is a bag full of regret and some pretty terrible memories to boot. These people are firmly in the past, but their destructive influence still lingers. I do suffer with anxiety and from time to time I do become particularly inward, self reflective and depressed; Something I am aware could be rearing its ugly head once again today.

It appears it's time to batten down the hatches, just like we did during the pandemic. Working extra hard is necessary right now, since none of us really knows what will happen next. There has been so much thrown at us in recent times, that we just have to do our best to survive each oncoming storm. I know, after attending Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in the past, that it is important to deal with each event or trigger as it happens, breaking down difficulties into smaller packages. Rather than panicking over the bigger picture, I am accepting the inevitable and dealing with each element separately, which I hope will see me through.

Each of us have a difficult road to tread at the moment, and I am no different to you. All I can do is help others when I can, donate to foodbanks, make sure I listen to friends who need help, give them a shoulder to cry on and a voice of reason. Yes, we are all suffering, but we must remember those who are worse off than us. Reach out, be available and above all keep fighting, even when the battle seems lost!
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Croatia 2022

20/6/2022

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It has been a very challenging week and if there was ever a time I needed a holiday, it's now. Everything is getting on top of me and I have literally had enough. If it wasn't for Darrell, friends and colleagues, I really don't know how I would cope at the moment. I am spending as much time as I can working and keeping busy, that way I can take my mind off what is going on around me. I understand my situation isn't ideal, so booking a trip away, after four years of no travelling, has allowed me to focus on a short term goal. In September, Darrell and I are heading to Croatia, to stay with family along the Dalmatian coast, and I can't wait. I need this holiday more than you could possibly imagine.

Darrell and I have been to Croatia many times before, staying with our Croatian Cousins, and have always been welcomed with open arms. In 2012, the last time we saw them together, they stayed with us, at our home in Southampton. My husband's ancestry began in Eastern Europe, and he still has family living and working along the Dalmatian coast, between Split and Dubrovnik. His Grandmother grew up in the beautiful fishing village of Podgora, a place we have visited on numerous occasions. This is a part of the World we both feel relaxed and at home in, and I would personally love to live there one day. Of course, that is far in the future; for now we are happy to just enjoy our time in the company of a family who have become closer than my own. 

We haven't made any definite plans for our stay on the Makarska Riviera, just a short drive from Podgora. I would be happy to just sit and chill for ten days. However, this popular tourist destination, where Darrell's cousins currently live, is also a port, with ferries leaving for the many islands that occupy the waters around Croatia as well as the historic city of Dubrovnik. For twenty pounds, we could take the three-hour journey to this Croatian jewel, or simply explore the waters around the bay. Whatever we do, it will just be nice to be away from the UK. 

The last few years have been awful to live through. The last time Darrell and I took to the skies was nearly four years ago during our trip to Asia, and if I am honest, it has been driving me mad. My mental health and wellbeing has suffered terribly and whether we are living through a pandemic or not, I just need to get back to a semblance of normality. Putting my life on hold, for such a long period, has had consequences we are still suffering from now. Our life together has always been based on travelling, after all we both come from opposite sides of the World, and whilst I was happy to comply with the draconian restrictions in the past, I'm not now. I have had three vaccinations and caught Coronavirus twice, there isn't much more I can do to protect myself from this disease. If I don't have antibodies now, when the hell will I? 

There is so much travel chaos to contend with at the moment, with flights still not back to normal after the pandemic, but I am hopeful we will get away in September. It is concerning seeing the number of flights being cancelled from British airports daily, but with our trip planned after the school holidays, I just hope we will get away as planned.

My concerns don't stop there, especially with COVID once again on the rise in the UK. I am trying to be as safe and careful as I can, but as I discovered, if you are going to catch this dreaded virus, you are going to and usually when you least expect it. I was so meticulous at following rules and wearing a mask in the past, that I believed I would be safe, nevertheless, even I caught it. Although I didn't suffer terribly like some, I still had a nasty infection. I strongly believe that today, I just have to continue living normally and put COVID to the back of my mind. All of us have to learn to live with it and yes, we will get it, but it shouldn't overtake our lives. Thankfully, Croatia no longer has any restrictions in place for travellers entering the country, and we are more likely to suffer from Brexit red tape, than from Coronavirus rules. 

I am counting the days until I can set foot on foreign soil again. Croatia is an amazing country to explore, full of history and breathtaking scenery. Spending time with family, is also the icing on the cake, and it will give Darrell and I quality time together, away from the drudgery of life here in Portsmouth. Sampling the local cuisine and fragrant wine, whilst sitting along sun-kissed beaches, is of course a bonus and an experience I am once again anticipating. I finally have something to look forward to, I can finally live life again.


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Portsmouth Pride 2022

13/6/2022

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Portsmouth Pride 2022


On Saturday Darrell and I headed down to Southsea seafront; we had nothing planned, just a long walk, something to eat and a little chill time. After an early lunch at The Jolly Sailor opposite Southsea Common, we enjoyed an impromptu day at the 2022 Portsmouth Pride festival. The common was full of people, of every gender, enjoying the celebrations. The flags were flying in the strong winds that always blow across this open public space, along the sea front. After a brief look around, we headed back into town, expecting a quiet night in front of the TV.

We stopped at a local pub on the way home and chatted over a beer, when we were contacted by an old friend, who had seen our post on facebook, wondering where we were. After a bit of hesitation, we agreed to jump in a taxi and meet SJ at the Lord Palmerston in Southsea. I mean, how could we not; she was a dear, close friend, and we hadn't seen her in seven years.

It was a pleasant surprise to meet up with SJ and Darren, who was with her, after such a long time. It is odd, that after six years apart, you really do pick up where you left off and speaking with her, it felt like it always had. She hasn't changed much and is still exactly the same as she ever was. Catching up with friends is important, especially those who played a big part in my life. SJ was there through some rough times and was also around on our final day in the UK. She has also remained a friend throughout our ongoing adventures in Spain and now in the UK. It was extremely uplifting to see her, especially after the torrid time we have had during the last few years.

The last time I attended Pride celebrations, was in London, in 1996, 26 years ago. To be honest, I have never really been someone to indulge in affirming my sexuality. I am a gay man first and foremost, but it doesn't play a big part in my life. When I was younger I enjoyed celebrating my homosexuality, but as I have grown older I really don't see the need and am very comfortable with who I am. Nevertheless, I had a fantastic day, surrounded by friends, old and new and enjoyed being a part of a celebration, that still remains an integral, cohesive part of the gay community, of which I am a part. Diversity should be celebrated, cherished and respected in all its forms, and Pride teaches us the importance of love, in a World so divided and polarised with hate!


Dinner Date With The Girls


After an amazing day out at the Pride festival and a terrible day at work suffering with a hangover, a pre-arranged dinner with the girls from work, wasn't top of my list of priorities. I was really in need of an early night, after only having two hours the night before. Darrell's lack of alcohol tolerance, had kept him and consequently I awake into the early hours, throwing up every half hour or so. By the time I finally staggered out of bed, greeted by a blocked up sink of sick, I was about ready to drop. Feeling exhausted, I managed a short, but busy shift, before a thankfully calming evening and a carvery with colleagues.

I've had nights out with the crew before and always had a great time. I have never really been fond of Portsmouth as a place to live, but people like these make it far more tolerable. The bog-standard food at Toby Carvery was really secondary to the opportunity to relax, unwind and be in the company of friends. We did what we always do, had a laugh, great conversation and plenty of laughs. As all of us at work approach the busy summer season, it was nice to have a short break before the hard slog starts. It was a perfect end to a fun filled weekend and the beginning of a long few weeks before my holiday in July.  Neither Darrell nor me let our hair down that often, but when we do, it's a reminder that we are still alive and ticking, living our life together surrounded by the people we love…. That is all that matters, that's all we can ask for!
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A Wonderful Weekend in Homage to The Queen!

6/6/2022

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If I'm honest, I'm quite partial to a good old Jubilee, stretching all the way back to 1977 and our present Queen's Silver Jubilee. I have always tried to take part, as you would expect from a Royalist. The photo below is of me, dressed as The Queen during her Diamond celebrations, ten years ago. That was the year I went all out  for Her Majesty and arranged a fancy dress party for friends and family. This year was very different; at fifty-one years old, there was no partying into the wee hours, but I did do my best to enjoy the four-day Bank Holiday weekend. It was an occasion to remember, that stirred emotions inside me and made me realise, our dear Queen will not be around forever and all of us should expect to see less of her during the next few years.
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Newcome Arms

For the most part, I was working over the Jubilee. I had taken time off from my supermarket job, to join in the party at The Newcome Arms, working behind the bar for a few shifts. It was amazing to be part of the wonderful atmosphere, back in a pub I love, surrounded by patrons and colleagues I haven't seen in a while.

It was an extremely busy night on Friday, and I didn't stop all evening. That's the kind of shift I love; it was great to see so many happy faces toasting our Queen. The Newcome had pulled out all the stops over the bank holiday and had arranged live music, disco's, talent competitions and a children's party on the Sunday. It was impressive to see just how much effort this little pub in the heart of Fratton had made, to ensure everyone had a good time, including me!

It is unlikely we will ever see a Platinum Jubilee again, at least in the near future. I was therefore extremely mindful of the great historic significance, this four day holiday had for all British people. The Queen is beloved by all of us who live on these islands, and the celebrations across the country demonstrated that. Walking home from the Newcome in the early hours of Saturday morning, you could still hear parties continuing throughout the neighbourhood. It was heartening that everyone was respectful and there were no drunken shenanigans, as one might expect after a few days drinking. The regulars at the pub were a joy to be around, and I thoroughly enjoyed being back behind the bar, even for a short time!

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I did a brief few hours behind the bar on Saturday also, giving other members of staff a short break, before the disco in the evening. Dipping in and out of the pub at will, rather than having rigid shifts, has suited me and has fitted in well with my current commitments. I do love bar work and the social interaction that goes along with it, and I'm sure it will remain at least a small part of my life for a while to come yet!
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Like twelve million others, after work on Saturday, I sat down to watch the Platinum Party at the Palace. There have been other concerts in front of Buckingham Palace in the past, but this one was special, unlike anything I had ever seen before. The organisation, special effects, light show and projection of Her Majesty's life onto the palace itself was truly magical and out of this World.

I really didn't know many of the newer acts and, in truth, didn't particularly enjoy them. I am not one for rap and other modern styles of music, but thoroughly enjoyed most of the show, especially our Eurovision Star, Sam Ryder and of course Diana Ross. As a nation, we really do know how to put on an amazing performance, especially during important milestones. I understand peoples concerns about the money spent, especially during the cost of living crisis, but you have to remember why we were celebrating in the first place. Queen Elizabeth's seventy years as Monarch and head of state is something we should all be proud of. The majority of the British people support her and after the dark days of the pandemic, it was a necessary distraction. All of us were able to focus on a woman, who has given her life in the service of this country.

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Like everyone else, I was taken aback with the opening sketch of The Queen and Paddington Bear together at the palace. Our Monarch may well be 96 years old, but this short video showed her great sense of fun and humour and left a lasting impression on all of us who saw it. It was of course uniquely British and showed The Queen enjoying her old age, in a way we haven't seen before. Finally, Her Majesty is doing what makes her happy, attending events that are significant for her and continuing to play an important role in the history of this country. This was the Grandmother of the nation at her finest!

Lunch Date at The Ship & Castle

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On Sunday, Darrell and I took the opportunity to meet up with my old University friend Ramona. I rarely have Sunday's off, so I headed to my go-to place of choice, The Ship, and Castle at The Hard in Southsea. This place does the best carvery, perfect for a Sunday lunch. As usual, we all had a lot to catch up on, having not seen one another for a while, and it was nice chatting over a few pints and good food.

Ramona is really my last true friend from my early years living in Southampton, thirty years ago. No matter how different our lives have been, we have always managed to stay in touch in one way or another. Like us, life hasn't treated her in the best way possible, so we do have a lot in common. I made a conscious decision to offload a lot of people from my life a few years ago now. Today I prefer to hang out with friends like Ramona, my best buddy and someone who probably knows me better than I know myself!

After a lovely afternoon and a spot of window shopping at Gunwharf, since I can never afford anything there, it was home to catch up on the Jubilee pageant. Watching that final clip of our Queen stood on the balcony, dressed in emerald green, she did look rather frail. I couldn't help thinking how much longer we will have with this lady as our Head of State. Not the nicest thought at that moment, but all of us have to accept that Her Majesty is now winding down after seventy years on the throne.

In the same way I celebrated with friends this Jubilee weekend, taking the opportunity to see people I haven't seen in a while, it was also great to see The Queen doing the same at such an important milestone. These last few days have been momentous for many reasons, but they have also allowed people like me, the time to spend with people I hold dear. I hope we will continue to remember this day for many years to come, it is after all a historic event, unlike any other that's gone before!

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Elizabeth R – The World's Last Great Monarch!

3/6/2022

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I am often asked why I support Her Majesty The Queen? What is it about this lady that makes her so special? What impact has she had and continues to have on the World around us? Quite simply, she is the best public servant we have ever had. At twenty-one years old, she pledged her life to the country she serves and to the people who call her Head of State. Her dedication and commitment to the role she was born to inherit, has been heartening to observe from afar. As individuals, we have so much to learn from a woman, who has been the constant in all our lives!

My respect for the institution of Monarchy, of which The Queen is head, goes back to my childhood, the Silver Jubilee in 1977 and the street party I attended in her honour. It was of course a joyous occasion for a six-year-old child, singing, waving flags and partying on cordial and sausage rolls, but it was much more than that. I can remember looking at her picture on the mug we were all given on Jubilee day and thinking, who is this person, and what exactly does she mean to me?

My love affair with The Queen began on that day; every time I saw her on the television, I would pause and watch her quiet dignity, as she went about her work, promoting the country she served. Sometimes on the rare occasions she spoke, at times of national significance or on Christmas Day, I would listen intently, as her words of wisdom echoed throughout the room. Her Majesty, has been with me throughout my entire life, a part of the fabric of society, an enduring emblem of fortitude, tenacity and perseverance, even in the face of adversity.

Through every milestone, The Queen has been there; the last Head of State to have served during the Second World War, she continues to discharge her duty to the nation. Over seventy momentous years of change, her composed, unassuming, steadfast loyalty has shone through, even during the darkest events in modern history. This is a woman who has been the guiding hand for all of us, as we weave our way through life, pausing briefly to acknowledge her presence on state occasions and dutifully pledging our support when required to do so. Her Majesty remains serenely in the background, a part of who we are, a  mark of Britishness, admired throughout the World.

In recent times, during the pandemic, The Queen became the pivotal linchpin, as all of us tried to weather the storm clouds gathering around us. Her speech to the nation became the mantra, expressing positivity, that all of us, friends, families, and neighbours, would one day meet again during better times. When her Husband, The Duke of Edinburgh died in 2021, her unfaltering sense of right and wrong, as she sat alone, mourning the death of her strength and stay, was on display for the World to see. As Governments were rocked by lies and scandal, she remained above the fray, always following the rules, never deviating for personal gain.

Elizabeth II is the last great Monarch, echoes of a bygone age. In 2022, the World has changed out of all recognition during her seventy-year reign, and we are unlikely to ever see someone of her character again. In this age of turmoil, upheaval  and uncertainty, The Queen remains unwavering in her commitment to the people she serves. We are extremely lucky to have her as Head of State  and a symbol of freedom in this blood stained World. This platinum Jubilee serves as a reminder of the dedication and lifelong service, of a Monarch who should never have been. As we continue to celebrate over this long holiday weekend, pause for thought at the reason we raise a toast to The Queen; Grandmother of the nation! We are thankful for her service, longevity, and dependability; we are proud and inspired by a reign unmatched!


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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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    A place to call home
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