Today's blog is about an important series of events that became the catalyst for my blog, 'Roaming Brit.' Ten years ago, in 2015, along with my husband Darrell, I was a victim of sustained bullying, from people who worked for one of the oldest charities in the World. This period was the most distressing and abusive time in our relationship together. Even today, I still suffer from the effects of a phase, that will forever remain a part of my psyche. I will always carry the burden of torment around with me. It was quite simply an interval, a glitch, that was responsible for a change in our circumstances, that we are still living through today, despite the memories finally fading into the background.

Bullying is something you think only occurs in childhood, but when it happens in your mid-forties, you can't believe what is actually transpiring before your very eyes. Both Darrell and I, were working alongside one another as Managers, for a large NGO on the south coast of England. Both of us thoroughly enjoyed our positions, especially working with the volunteers who worked for us. I was always taught, from an early age, to look after and protect the most vulnerable people in society. As a Manager for a charity, it was part of my remit and something I was very aware of, every day I went to work.

You can imagine my horror, when two of Darrell's paid employees, began targeting and abusing a particularly defenseless member of his volunteer team. He naturally asked me for advice. We were both in the same positions at work and as a Manager it is something we had to deal with on rare occasions. I suggested he report it as a safeguarding issue and the HR department would do the rest. I had no reason to expect anything different. Furthermore, I felt sure the organisation would do all it could to protect, the individual concerned — how wrong I was!

Not only did the charity do nothing to support Darrell or the victim, but those responsible started bullying Darrell as a result. From attacks on personal property, to homophobic abuse and attacks at work, the abuse was relentless. Darrell became ill, withdrawn, and his mental health became a source of concern. As someone who had worked for the charity longer than him, I decided to do what I could to help.

Despite doing my best to intervene, I was also dealing with a safeguarding issue at my own place of work, which was also being disregarded by my boss. Later, a former colleague also began to attack me personally, and it appeared on the surface, at least, that both of us were being singled out for protecting others.

With no support from our mutual boss, within a short space of time, we both became ill. We were advised to stay away from work, for our own health and wellbeing. Our mental health was in tatters, as we sought answers as to why nothing was being done to protect us and others. I contacted helplines and organisations who could help. I spoke with my union, ASDAW and anti bullying charities, including 'Solent Mind' based in Southampton. All of them said the same thing, we were being targeted for safeguarding others and as they dug deeper, under the surface, our sexuality was also a factor as well. I can't describe the feeling you get, when you realise you are being mistreated, for just doing the right thing. It hits you head long, like a brick in the face.

For a year we suffered, while still trying to find answers as to why we were being ignored. Despite returning to work for a brief period, in the end, just before our wedding in 2015, we both decided to pack up, sell up and leave the UK for good. Every professional organisation we talked to, said this was the right thing to do. The sociopathic nature of what we endured, would never stop until we made the decision to walk away, from the sinister nature of mistreatment we were dealing with. It took a while, but finally, after talking to family, friends and professionals, we left for a new life in Spain.

My last day at the charity was tinged with sadness, leaving the volunteers behind. We had built up a great rapport over the years, and they were a big part of my life. The Head of HR came in, to try to draw a line under this sorry chapter, and we both spoke candidly about just what had happened. She agreed the way I was treated was a disgrace, but said there wasn't much the charity could do, since its reputation was at stake. Despite knowing just how malevolent and malicious those involved had been towards us and many others, (We weren't the first) there was very little she could do. The primary person responsible was a known bully and abuser, and she had done this many times before.

​Our new life in Spain was a breath of fresh air. We had a new, strong and altruistic network of friends and colleagues and an even bigger group of Expats, who helped us begin the transition from turmoil to tranquillity. We were both as happy as we could be and loving every day again on the beautiful Costa Blanca. Smiles returned to both our faces as we finally escaped the pain we left behind.

Despite writing about my experiences as often as I could, answering emails and messages from readers who were also suffering from bullying, we both enjoyed a happy existence in Spain. I received many cries for help over the two years I was living in Gran Alacant, even from those who actually worked at the charity I once held in such high regard. These were the hardest messages to reply to, and I just gave them the advice that was given to me — Never try to beat a sociopath, you will always fail!

Personal tragedy ended our time in Spain all too quickly. While sat surrounded by packing boxes in the lounge of our villa in Puerto Marino, I received an unexpected call. The Charity Commission was investigating the charity I had worked for and wanted to hear my side of the story. I was finally given an opportunity to give mine and Darrell's side of the events that brought us to Spain; it was a vindication of everything we had gone through — finally someone was listening to us. 

I never found out the results of the enquiry. However, I finally realised that many others in the UK and further afield, had also suffered at the hands of people who had no place working with vulnerable people. I was made aware that changes would take place. Although nothing could be done to save mine and Darrell's careers, we were helping the commission compile evidence, against people who were distinctly corrupt and disturbing in nature, and for that they were truly grateful.

Since then, I haven't thought about that terrible time in 2015 too much. I do have days when the pain resurfaces, and I do suffer with severe anxiety every day, but my life is so much better now than it ever has been. In a way, the success I enjoy ten years later, is all down to the bullies who gave us such a hard time. So I suppose I should finally take the opportunity to thank them, for affording us the life we enjoy in Australia. So thank you — I hope you are also enjoying the fruits of your labour as well.

During the 30 years we have been together, neither of us have experienced blatant bullying and abuse. As I look back over our years together, it is painful to relive such painful experiences, but it was a time that made us stronger as a couple and more aware of the ugly nature of people. Not everyone in your life is good for you, and it really is up to you to kick them into the long grass and carry on living your best life. They were terribly soul-destroying months in 2015, but without them, we wouldn't be where we are today, and for that, fate gave us a second chance and a reason to exist again.

Today, we are celebrating our 29th Wedding Anniversary — a life sentence by anyone's standards. After another exhausting year, we are still together, still going strong, and above all, still striving for a better future. 

From its very inception, our relationship was tested to its limits. We have both been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, as we navigated the ups and downs of married life. Of course, our time together hasn't been conventional in any sense of the word. When you fall in love with someone overseas, you become part of a system that seeks only to keep you apart.

As a same-sex couple, who met in 1995, we were under no illusions about the difficulties we would face. Homosexual relationships, such as ours, were not recognised in law, and we fought hard to avoid separation, finally being allowed to stay together in The UK in 2000.

Today is about celebrating another important milestone in our life, as partners together, and, as we look forward to our 30th anniversary next year, we are mindful of the challenges still to come. In two years time, I will finally become an Australian citizen and for the first time in our life as a couple, we can both relax, taking a huge sigh of relief. Knowing the legal constraints that have literally kept us on our toes, all these years, have been lifted, and our life has become 'normal again' (the first time in over 30 years), will be a weight lifted. No longer checked at every twist and turn, just allowed to settle down together, and become the couple we have always dreamt of being!

On Sunday, Darrell and I went to Guildford for Sunday lunch. Usually we head straight to The Guildford Hotel, but this week I had booked a table at The Stirling Arms, a little further down the historic high street.

Guildford is a place I love to visit, in many ways, it reminds me a little of Britain. Being one of the older suburbs in Perth, it has many colonial buildings dating back to the 19th century and is a wonderful place to spend a leisurely Sunday afternoon. Surrounded by antique shops, antiquarian bookshops and second hand stores, we walked towards the Stirling Hotel, popping into the occasional shop for a browse. The antique furniture particularly caught my eye, which was competitively priced, when one considers the cost of cheap modern alternatives.

I was an hour early for my booking, but nothing was too much trouble for this friendly establishment, and we were immediately shown to our table, outside in the shade. The day was a warm 32 degrees and after ordering a drink, I made my way back to my seat. It was pleasant sat listening to live music in the garden, having a well deserved pint of Carlton Dry. This is the only time Darrell and I have to ourselves, and it is an important part of the week, sat together, spending quality time away from our less than ideal living arrangements.

This was the first roast dinner I have eaten here in Australia and although very different to back home in the UK, it was nevertheless pleasant enough. The meat was actually cooked to perfection, just melting in the mouth. I could have stayed there all day, but Darrell wanted to get back and relax after a busy week of work. Personally I think we should have stayed longer, after all we don't do this too often, but then I'm not the one working at the moment.

After a walk back to Midvale, I continued to complete my 10,000-step regime, as I do every day, walking around the garden, just to get my count up. All of a sudden, I went head long into one of the biggest spider webs I have ever seen. I stopped dead in my tracks and went cold, as I looked up. I had just bumped into one of the scariest spiders I have ever seen, and gingerly stepped back, away from the angry looking arachnid.

This is the first native spider I have seen since arriving in Australia, and it was a little different to what I expected. Usually I am the first to become acquainted with the large common Huntsman and although, according to my Mother in law, there are plenty about, I just happened to walk into a Golden Orb Weaving Spider; also native to Australia.

Of course, I didn't know that was the species initially, but after getting close enough to take a photo, I looked it up online, where I learnt more about this ugly looking thing with extremely long legs.

This was a female spider, the male being much smaller. To be honest, she probably devoured him anyway. She is also a great hunter and isn't particularly choosy about what she catches, but is picky when it comes to eating. The one piece of information I wanted to know, of course, is just how dangerous it is. Well according to Google, it is mostly harmless to humans, although if it bites you, it hurts - a lot! No more walking into spider webs for me!

Mum-in-law said she would spray the pest if I wanted, to get rid of it, but in all honesty, I was fine leaving it exactly where it was. It wasn't causing any harm to me, and if anything, is doing the World of good catching flies and mosquito's that would otherwise cause problems inside the house. As long as I can see it, I am happy to leave it alone. If it ends up coming inside, I may well feel differently.

That was the end of my Sunday - a good meal, a couple of pints and a date with a Spider. Rather different to what I am used to in the UK, but all part of the course when you are living down under. It won't be too long before I have been living here for three months; I am getting used to this place, insects and all. I am growing to like my life in Perth, no matter how difficult it is at the moment, and I am looking forward to many years of happiness in the future. For now, we will continue to do what we can to forge a new path and all the challenges that entails. In a few weeks I will finally be working and that can't come soon enough.

Have a great week, y'all!

Focused on Health and Fitness

Like always, I have done my best to keep busy this week. I really am not used to doing nothing, and need to keep myself occupied. Blogging is my preferred choice to stay active, in mind at least, but I have to get out and about as often as possible. I do walk over 10,000 steps per day, and I am enjoying a very active life here in Perth, more than at anytime in my life!

With distances that much bigger in Australia, I find myself walking much further than ever before, as a result my blood pressure has gone down even further, than it was in the UK, and this morning it was a healthy 111/72. When I look back to Spain and when I was first prescribed high blood pressure tablets in 2017, I have come along way. Back then, my blood pressure was 148/95 and rising. I have done a lot of work to bring these levels down, without cutting out everything I used to enjoy. More movement, less sedentary and a desire to succeed, has all contributed to an uplift in my wellbeing and general sense of happiness!

I can't stress how important it is for me to stay healthy right now. I have a lot of medical examinations to come over the next twelve months, so I do have the time to get in shape. My weight is a stable 75 kg, down from 98 kg when I started my diet programme in October last year. This is an amazing achievement, but I have put on 3 kg since I started my travels in September. I hope to get back down to 72 kg as soon as possible; this is what I consider to be my optimal weight and a figure I don't want to go above!

Health wise, I am feeling better than ever; many of the issues I had in the UK, seem to have disappeared in Australia. I don't have the aches and pains I had; maybe the odd twinge now and again, but nothing more. Also, despite the cost of food, I am actually eating even more healthy here than ever before. A combination of careful shopping, buying seasonal vegetables and fruit as well as having the time to go from shop to shop, to get the best deals, has allowed me to not only buy better, but also keep fit in the process. Presently I am feeling top of the World, lets just hope that continues, as my new Bridging Visa kicks in!

Durty Nelly's

Rather like Zest, when we lived in Spain, Durty Nelly's is gradually becoming our favourite bar of choice when we are in Perth, the food is fantastic! Wednesday is steak day and at a cost of $18.00 (£10.22) for sirloin and $25.00 (£14.19) for fillet steak, it really is a bargain not to be missed.

After a walk around the city, looking at the Christmas decorations that are now being installed, we stopped off at the Belgian Beer Café for a pint of Stella, the only place I have seen my favourite tipple being sold. Like a couple of old alcoholics, we were one of the first patrons in the bar and settled down in the distinctly colonial feel restaurant, for a breather and a chat. The setting is relaxed, comfy and extremely homely; reason enough to return alone, especially with the weather looking rather overcast.

From there, we made our way around the city, looking for a present for Darrell's Birthday on 26 November. Being 50 isn't your everyday occasion, so I wanted to get him something special, sadly to no avail.

We spent a good hour looking for all things Japanese, which Darrell currently loves, but the shop we were seeking out was closed until 17 November, which was a bit of a disappointment. Nevertheless, it gave us a chance to chat about the future, as we do when we are out together and discuss the remote possibility of buying a house in Perth.

Now I say remote, because the reality is, we have only just moved back to Australia and with Darrell only a few weeks into his new job, it does seem unlikely that it will happen anytime soon. On Friday, however, we have an appointment at The Commonwealth Bank to discuss a new joint bank account; it will give us the opportunity to mention our plans and see what response we get. I don't hold out much hope, but let's wait and see.

Shopping - Price Watch

As you would expect from a supermarket employee, I am constantly monitoring prices here in Perth. Apart from anything else, it is essential that Darrell and I keep a close eye on our finances, especially right now as we save for a mortgage.

Shopping every day, not only gives me time to walk my 10,000 steps, but it also allows me to get to know the local area and more importantly, keep close scrutiny on supermarket prices. Alternating between Coles and Woolworths, I go from one to the other each day, getting the cheapest products.

Personally, I think I do very well and have really become a canny shopper. As someone who is watching the cents, I am always struck by the price of some items that you can get for a fraction of the price back home in the UK. A prime example of this is Quality Street. So Far I have seen this good old-fashioned British Christmas staple as cheap at $15.00 (£8.51) a box to an astonishing $30.00 (£17.02) a box.

Now, I quite understand this is an imported product and not native to Australia, but it really is a constant shock to see how madly expensive these chocolates are. I have no idea if this was always the case, since I haven't lived here for many years, but a combination of inflation, the cost of living crisis, and import duties, has seen what I can only describe as the biggest fluctuation in price in WA. If Quality Street was a barometer of how bad things are economically, I can safely say we are living through unprecedented times!

Armistice Day

On the 11 November, Australia commemorated Armistice Day like everyone else. I didn't realise they did so in the same manner as we do in the UK, probably because I haven't seen anyone selling them in the street. After a quick google search, I discovered that Woolies sold the poppies, and I immediately took a walk to Midland gate and bought a pin for $10.00. They were kept behind the customer service counter, and there wasn't a charity tin in sight.

I paid the young lady using a debit card and even got reward points; a rather different process to that followed back home, but I was just glad to be able to do my bit for service men and women in Australia. I have always been grateful for the sacrifices they made, so I could lead the life I do today. Those who fought deserve our gratitude, and thanks for all they did. I await the ceremony from the cenotaph in London on Sunday, 7pm Australian time, when the new King, Charles III, takes the salute. Whether I am in Australia or not, it is a connection to my heritage back home that I will continue to participate in, wherever I am!

Hilary's boatyard

On Friday, Darrell and I took a road trip to Hilary's boatyard or Marina, along the coast near Sorrento beach.

This is another one of those places I have apparently been to before, according to Darrell, although I have no recollection of the occasion.

Hilary's is a rather pleasant, up market destination, full of shops, restaurants and expensive yachts. A few years ago I would have been delighted to spend a few hours window shopping, but as I have got older, I really don't have the same level of attachment to these sorts of places. In the end, they are just overpriced shopping centres, and I really don't have the money to waste at the moment. We are saving every penny we have for a deposit on a house and a very expensive partner visa.

However, it was pleasant sitting in the sun with a pint or in Darrell's case a milkshake, dodging feral seagulls and enjoying the fantastic views. It would be a wonderful if expensive place to live on the surface, but as Darrell said, 'it has no soul.' The expensive multimillion-pound houses along the coast look out of this World, but would I really want to live in such a place? Well maybe... But on my budget, we'll never know!

The Crown

This week, I have also managed to watch the entire new series of 'The Crown!' This is the only show I have ever binge-watched on Netflix and has become something of a tradition for me. I literally can't wait for the next series to come out each time and watch it with gusto.

This series was not a good as I would have hoped. I did find it slower than the last four season's and the subject matter a little obscure. There was however one saving grace, Elizabeth Debicki playing Princess Diana, What an extraordinary actress she is. At times, you just couldn't tell her from the real Princess, and it was just like watching Diana on the television set all those years ago.

According to The Queen herself, the 1990s was a particularly difficult decade for the Royal Family, but in reality, this wasn't portrayed as such, and I was left feeling a little cheated. The series concentrated on trivialities, rather than events of national importance; if I am honest, it all felt rather over done and unrealistic. In the end it was a bit of an anti climax, and I was just left wanting more. Instead, I will have to wait for another year, for the last and final series 6 to be broadcast.

Dare to Dream

With my days and weeks merging into one and becoming more and more frustrated at the lack of progress, it was heart-warming to have some positive news this week. After opening a new joint bank account with The Commonwealth Bank on Friday, Darrell and I had time for a brief chat with the financial advisor dealing with our case. We wanted to know about the remote possibility of getting a mortgage sooner rather than later. She duly took some details from us and said Rob, the Mortgage advisor, would ring on Sunday.

Rob actually phoned me on Friday evening, when I gave him a few brief details about our situation. In my head, I was thinking the worst, but was actually pleasantly surprised by his reply.

He said everything was doable, and I shouldn't worry so much. I explained we wanted to borrow a minimum of $200,000, a figure he wasn't phased about, and in typical ozzy tones repeated the phrase 'no dramas' again and again. It does seem on the surface at least we can borrow what we need, to buy a house rather than be a part of the ridiculous renting circus that exists here. A fifteen-year mortgage, with a 25% deposit at an interest rate of 4.79% should cost us about $1500 (£851.21) a month. This figure does seem awfully high at first glance, but it is actually cheaper than renting, and I have to keep telling myself it is only over 15 years.

After speaking with Rob this morning, I have been reassured about the much simpler process of buying a house in Perth. Both Darrell and I will only need to provide a single payslip, and we are then all good to go. The process is far less invasive than the UK, and we can also borrow far more than I thought. He felt he would be able to get us a twenty-year mortgage, which would make me 71 when I finished paying. Once again, he put my mind at rest and said I could repay the balance as quick as I like.

With fees low and completion times quick, it looks like we could have our own home early next year. This is wonderful news and gives us both hope for the future. This week has certainly turned out to be positive in every respect, let's hope everything else now falls into place!

It was another day out in the city for Darrell and me on Wednesday. We had a lot to talk about, and spending a few hours away, is the only time we get to chat and make plans for the future. I have been hearing from people back home quite a lot over the last few weeks and as lovely as it is, it does make Darrell and I feel homesick at times. Both of us have had numerous video chats with close friends, all saying the same thing - 'Make sure you stay where you are, there is literally nothing to go back to Britain for.' I can see that; every day at 7am, SBS shows the British news from the night before, and it does look particularly dysfunctional in the UK at the moment. I would never return for the country, but the people are a different matter.

Yesterday, my close friend and old boss Zerina messaged me and gave me a bit of a motivational talk. Those I have kept in contact with, understand our struggles, and they have been instrumental in keeping us in Perth. I understand this is a difficult journey, we never thought it would be any different, and the encouragement we have received is beyond anything we could have expected. On Wednesday, as we sat in 'Coffee Club' drinking tea and eating cake, we both reassured one another about the path we were now on. After half an hour, we both started to feel better, as we always do. We are both well aware of where we are better off, but the frustration we feel at the slow progress is palpable.

Walking around the streets of the capital in blazing sunshine, we could be forgiven for thinking we are in paradise, but bubbling under the surface, the remains of the COVID-19 pandemic still festers away. The reason why we feel so stuck right now, is because of the extended closure of Australia and Western Australia in particular. Things are beginning to change, with the first not stop flight from the USA landing in the country only this week, but these are small baby steps, and we have to keep the faith, while Australia reopens for business and normality returns.

After receiving police checks from The UK and Spain, I was able to finalise the paperwork for my Spouse visa this week and everything is now in the hands of our solicitor. Wednesday was about relaxing after a very busy month and according to my Migration Agent the 'superfast' time I was able to gather all my documents and files together for this decidedly expensive $10,000 visa application.

After a short walk around Elizabeth Quay, we headed for lunch at 'Durty Nelly's' Irish pub, just off Hay Street. This traditional Irish bar is tucked away down a side alley, in-between a number of other restaurants and cafés. I stumbled across it last week, vowing to come back. The setting reminded me very much of my time in Thailand, surrounded by lush greenery and picturesque local venues - all rather civilized and cosmopolitan.

It was wonderful, just sat there relaxing and enjoying the heat of the day with a pint and the reassurance that my application to stay was coming to an end. We ordered a steak lunch which, for Australian standards, was very reasonably priced at a bargain $18.00 each. I have never eaten anything so cheap in Perth since I have been here. The food was delicious, full of flavour and perfectly cooked. At that moment, I felt happy to be home and no matter what gets thrown at us over the next few months, we do at least have a place to escape to when things get rough - rather like my hair in the picture above; rough isn't the word!

After lunch, we took a stroll to Forrest Chase, to catch the train to Bassendean. There was a demonstration in the square, over the murder of aboriginal boy Cassius Turvey. Thankfully the perpetrator is in custody, but this was an attack that was carried out in Midland, right on our door step. As I listened to the emotional speeches, by family, officials and friends, I realised that no matter how stunning this country is, it still suffers from the same anti-social problems we do in the UK. Wherever you live in the World, murder, violence, knife and gun crime will always exist, and my eyes were opened to the issues that Australia has, when dealing with the appalling treatment of indigenous people. Darrell and I have our problems, for sure, but they are nothing compared to the injustices suffered by the Aboriginal community.

Darrell's Cousin Tash picked us up from Bassendean, where we spent the evening with her and his Aunty Alice. To be honest, I was feeling particularly tired after being unable to sleep for most of the night. Darrell's Mother, takes steroids once a week as part of her treatment for cancer, and it does keep her and the rest of us awake. Yes I felt exhausted, but once again I am not suffering from cancer, so should thank my lucky stars I am well, and stop bloody complaining so much.

After a delicious dinner and quality time with family, it was time to leave. It is days like this that make me realise how lucky I am to lead the life I do. There aren't many people who have travelled as extensively as Darrell and me and lived in multiple countries. Chatting with family in Australia, I am well aware of the amazing life I have. When things get tough, as they inevitably do, I have the memories I made to keep me grounded and focused on the task at hand. Starting a new life down under, after a worldwide pandemic in the middle of a European war and an economic crash was never going to be easy; I guess I'm not doing too badly really!

Marmite Watch

...And finally

The last time I lived abroad in Spain, I did everything I could to make sure I had my essential jar of Marmite. I can remember vividly talking to the owner of the British Supermarket in Gran Alacant, pleading with him to stock some bigger jars of Marmite. At the time, six years ago, he only had the small jars in stock and used to charge a whopping 5 Euro a jar.

I have no idea what they cost now, but just before I returned to the UK, he managed to get in the bigger jars. That's got to be the story of my life, really - always just missing out at the last minute!

Anyway, it is far easier to get hold of the black gold in Australia. If you thought Brits were addicted to the stuff, well, Ozzies are absolutely besotted. Of course, they have their own Marmite, Ozemite, Promite, Mightymite, Vegemite, in fact every bloody mite you can imagine... IT REALLY IS A 'MITE' lover's dream here! As I have recently discovered, they also sell the original British stuff, although due to them having their own Marmite and copyright laws, it's called 'Our Mate,' and it is most certainly the real deal.

However, I have got quite used to Ozemite in particular and quite like the taste, but you really can't beat the real stuff, and I am thankful to have found it in the British section of Woolworths supermarket in Midland Gate for a bargain price of $4.80. One happy Brit!

Fremantle, Western Australia

It has felt like stepping back in time this week, as Darrell and I travelled to Fremantle on the coast of Western Australia. In 1995, both of us lived in a flat on Canning Highway, within walking distance of this old colonial town, referred to as Freo by the locals. I can remember the apartment well; it was an old 70s building, with an awful lime green carpet that was infested with fleas. We had an old beer crate for a coffee table and one of those old-fashioned TV's from Cash Converters. At that time, it was our first flat together, and it was home, even if it was only for a short period.

Fremantle has a special place in my heart, having been a town my Grandfather visited many times, whilst in the merchant navy. Grandad loved it here, and always made reference to it, when talking about how he and Nan nearly emigrated down under in the 1950s. Freo is my kind of place, I loved it in 1995, and I love it even more now.

The town centre has a distinctly European, cosmopolitan feel. There are small boutique shops, café's and restaurants and to my surprise lots of bookshops. Anyone who knows me well enough, understands my love of books; I was of course a book valuer for nearly ten years and love everything about them - the smell, feel and history behind the pages. Stumbling across the first shop, I went inside and got lost in the literature on sale; just briefly, mind you. It has been a long time since I have been in such a place, having lived abroad in Spain and resided on the south coast of England in Portsmouth, which has no bookshops to speak of. I made the most of my time, flicking through the pages of a few well known and several less well known publications. I was transported back to my time, running my own outlet in Southampton.

As I left the shop, I noticed a sign outside advertising for staff, and immediately my ears pricked up. This is a job I can do with my eyes closed, and although I am not able to work yet, I have taken the details down, with the hope I may have found my niche.

As well as having plenty of bookshops, there is also Fremantle indoor market; all I can say is Wow, just wow. If you love your objet d'art, then you will enjoy leisurely walking around this vast corner of the town. From jewellery and art, to food and souvenirs, there is every thing you can imagine here and more. This really is a destination you will fall in love with, just like me; I was so happy to be back after 27 years.

Walking around Fremantle, I came across the Tom Edwards Memorial Fountain. Instantly I remembered having my photo taken next to it in 1995, and thought it would be fun to recreate that shot, 27 years later, only standing on the opposite side of this historic monument. It does feel kind of strange looking at the photograph, knitted together, and seeing the two different versions of me. It is small things, like this fountain, that bring back the most recollections, and the longer I am here, the more the memories come flooding back.

After visiting the Round Tower, overlooking the sea, we took a slow walk to The Orient Hotel and had a bite to eat. Not the cheapest meal I have ever had, but nevertheless it felt good to be sat together, relaxing and forgetting the pressure we are both under at the moment. As each day passes, it is becoming clearer that this will be our toughest struggle yet, but it is important we do all we can to get through the increasing obstacles. Days out will become more crucial as we immerse ourselves deeper into the mounting paperwork needed for me to stay in Australia.

We spent the next couple of hours walking, talking, having an ice cream and finally a drink along the esplanade. After our travelling through Croatia and Thailand it was a reminder of what we like doing most, and a hope that despite the challenges ahead, we will continue to do this as much as possible. There is a lot of Australia I want to see, and next week should be the perfect time to start exploring the west at least. For now, I am content we took the time to revisit my favourite location in Perth and I have enjoyed reconnecting with a past, long since forgotten.

Bush Walking, Kogolup Lake

In complete contrast to our day in Freo, yesterday we went to visit a friend in Beeliar, near Kogolup Lake. This far away suburb, is right on the edge of the bush, rather like Ellenbrook, where Darrell and I lived in 1997. There, we also lived on the periphery of a rather colourful area, and the wildlife we encountered there, is also flourishing in Beeliar.

We got the Transperth train to Cockburn and spent the next hour walking to Beth's house. There were plenty of scenic views on the way, including swamps and marshes I have never seen before here. The panorama was stark, trees growing out of the wetlands for as far as the eye could see, and the strange sounds of native wildlife in the distance. Colourful parakeets were flying above my head as I walked, and there were signs warning of the danger of snakes and to keep well away. Surprisingly for me, I wasn't particularly anxious walking through the bush; I was more interested in the beautiful unspoilt scenery, which was striking, amazing, and unlike anything you would ever see in the UK.

As we arrived at Beth's, the bush literally on her doorstep, I was truly aghast by the wildlife outside in her front garden. There were lizards just itching to attack (What is it with everything in Australia, wanting to kill you?) This little critter certainly wanted to make it known who was boss, and I was just happy to keep my distance.

On her driveway covered with indigenous flower and fauna, hiding in the undergrowth you could hear plenty going on. I am sure I didn't need to know most of what was there, and I tried not to think too hard, about what I might be standing next to. However, there was a family of bandicoots living happily, next to Beth's van, and they were fascinating to watch, as they went about their business unharmed. They do look cute and cuddly, but also very similar to the large rats or rodents we have back in Britain. They are pretty harmless, so I am told, unlike everything else down under.

There is an abundance of natural wonders in this country, that I want to see during my time here; even walking in the bush is a wondrous experience for a pasty Britling like me. I seem to be far more relaxed this time I am in Australia, than the previous two times I was here, and that can only be a good thing going forward. As we decide on where our destiny lies, I am happy to be with Darrell in his home country. It isn't where I thought I would be at this time in my life, but it is another adventure in a life packed full of exploits. I am looking forward with anxious positivity as we finally put down roots and make a much-needed home for ourselves on the other side of the World.

We have been in Australia, for a little over a week now, and already we are feeling the pressure. Currently, we are staying with Darrell's Mum in Midland, WA, and it is rather cosy to say the least. Neither Darrell nor I truly understood just how difficult adapting to Australian life would be, but I think we have finally realised the complexity of our situation, as reality finally starts to bite.

On the surface, Western Australia is stunning and beautiful in every respect. The city of Perth is clean, modern, with an integrated public transport system that works fantastically well; more impressively, it has changed dramatically during the twenty-five years I haven't been here. The glittering capital of Western Australia does however mask struggles bubbling under the surface, we are only now beginning to see.

Let me first say, I have come to an important decision and have decided to apply for a Spouse Visa to stay in Australia, in spite of the difficulties that lay ahead; more about that later. For now, it was a bit of a culture shock discovering all the hurdles we have to overcome, just to build a life here, and remember age isn't on my side. At 51 years old, it isn't usual for someone of my advancing years to emigrate to Australia, but because I am married to an Australian, it actually isn't a stumbling block, thankfully, and on paper it should be a simple process!

There is a huge problem with housing in Perth, even bigger than the crisis in the UK, and that really is a concern. Over here you buy your house off plan from a catalogue and a builder will construct it to your own individual requirements. When COVID hit Australia, all building work stopped and those waiting for their houses to be built remained in rented accommodation, leaving rental properties in short supply. You have to remember, Australia has only just opened up after the pandemic, and construction as an industry has yet to recover fully. It will take a while for the new homes to be built and free up rental accommodation.

When I look back to 1995 and how fast Darrell and I obtained a property in Fremantle, I am gobsmacked by the circumstances today. It looks like we may have to stay with Darrell's Mother for a while, at least until my visa comes through just after Christmas. This wouldn't usually be a problem, but my Mother-in-Laws house is quite compact and was never designed to accommodate more than one person. The irony of it all, is we have the money to rent somewhere tomorrow, but there just isn't the property to rent.

The job situation in Perth is another bowl of contention, but not in the way you may think. There are actually loads of positions vacant here currently, so you would think it would be easy for Darrell to just fall into a job, but it isn't quite that simple. As I found when I was looking for work here in 1997, if you are a foreign national, it really can be a huge mountain to climb. Of course Darrell is Australian, but he has lived in Europe far more than Australia, so is consequently finding it hard to get a job. As the old saying goes, 'if your face doesn't fit....'

He has applied for lots of vacancies, but just can not seem to get past that first hurdle. Rather like when he arrived in the UK, just over a year ago, he needs someone to give him a break. In the UK, I knew people who could help, and he was given chances he isn't getting in Perth, and that is another source of angst for him and me. The alarm bells are ringing, and I am thinking, how difficult is it going to be for me, when I actually start applying for jobs too. These factors are making me cautiously anxious, but I am just hoping this is a temporary blip and both he and I will find work relatively quickly!

Lets return to the Spouse visa; yesterday, Darrell and I had a meeting with a solicitor in South Perth to discuss my future in WA.  It is well known how difficult it is to emigrate to Australia, it's probably the main reason why I have put off doing it for so long. However, we have now both reached a cross road and with Darrell's Mum suffering from Cancer, a change of circumstances in the UK and a desire to live somewhere warmer, it has been important for us to finally bite the bullet and chose to live together in Australia, a country I am beginning to love the longer I am here.

The solicitor was positive about the chances of me getting a visa relatively quickly, due to the length of time we have been in a relationship. We have travelled with twenty-seven years worth of paperwork since we have been together, so we have as much proof as the authorities in Australia need. Despite this, I do have concerns, which I did bring to the attention of my solicitor.

I will have to undergo a medical, and I am a little concerned at what they may find. The hope is, everything is OK, but that may not be the case. The only medication I take today, is statins for high cholesterol, which although under control, is still needed to keep my cholesterol levels in check. Apart from that, I really have no other issues that I know of, but at 51 years old you just never know. On the plus side, I am probably the fittest and healthiest I have been in years. I have lost so much weight that I can feel how healthy I am, and that can only be a good thing.

The other worry is the police check I have to have done from my time living in Spain. Australia requires a one from every country I have lived, and Darrell and I have lived in quite a few. The process of obtaining a police check is pretty simple as a rule, but Spain can be a problem. Getting the Spanish police check could take quite some time, and it has to be done in the correct way. Our solicitor said he will explain just how to do this at a later stage. Having dealt with Spanish authorities in the past, I am well aware of just how much red tape you have to wade through, and I have a feeling this could be the hardest part of the whole process; of course only time will tell.

Leaving the meeting yesterday, I felt far more positive than I have been lately. I know Perth is where I want to live, and I am determined to do everything I can to stay here. Our solid relationship should see us in good stead and really is the only proof they need of our commitment together, but this can be a hard country to deal with, and I am under no illusions about the apprehension I feel today. This will be our hardest obstacle to cross yet as a couple, but for the sake of Mum and to achieve the life we want together, it is a necessary next step on our journey together.

.... And finally, it's time to get back to eating healthy. This morning I was at Woolworths early to register some steps on the pedometer, and buy some healthy options. Since I left the UK all those weeks ago, on my lifestyle break, I have put on 3-4 kg in weight. That is not acceptable in my book, and I need to get back into a healthy routine. I found some similar items, I used to eat in the UK and a few more I have never seen before, and will give them ago. I'm also back on healthy balanced microwave meals, having found the popular 'Lean Cuisine' rage in both Woolies and Coles. They normally cost about $5 a pop, which is a bit more expensive than the UK, but is an absolute must for me, especially whilst keeping fit before my medical.

It looks like we have a busy time ahead from now on, and I will of course keep you all updated on the visa process. It does feel a little daunting at the moment, but with plenty of willpower and that overriding desire to succeed, I feel sure we will achieve our goal and look forward to a new life together in Australia!

Well Thursday really was an emotional day, as I said farewell to friends and colleagues from Tesco, The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research - all places I have worked since my return to Portsmouth from Spain in 2018. To say leaving Portsmouth, even for a year, will be an enormous wrench is somewhat of an understatement. Emotions really have been running high for me, as I have said my goodbyes to some fantastic friends. I am not a person who cries easily, so Thursday just showed me how lucky I am, having made some wonderful memories with some truly amazing characters; the tears did flow briefly, as I said one last au revoir to everyone who has played an important role in my life over the last four years. In the main, however, they were tears of happiness, as bonds were cemented, and I realised these were friends for life, wherever I am in the World.

In many respects, this week has been a Godsend. Realising I was finally about to leave the UK on the trip of a lifetime, I started to relax and enjoy the final few days here in Portsmouth. With only two days left, I am content with the choice I have made and look forward to the future. It has also been a hard seven days, having to wear a mask at work and keep my distance as much as possible, as I prepare for the long flight to Australia. Having been planning this journey for about six weeks, I have become drained and run down from all the preparation. It has been hard getting to this point, but the days of Darrell and I, spontaneously getting up and going, are well and truly over; this is the adventure of a lifetime, and it has to be done right.

So many people have wanted to say goodbye, that we have been living an emotional tight rope for a while now. Ever since I announced I was taking a lifestyle break from work, I have had so many colleagues asking to spend time with us, that I have been taken aback. A year really is a long time, and Darrell and I realise how important it is to connect with those close before we go. I hope to be back in twelve months, but who knows what will happen.

Apart from going to see my Father, that really is it, the end of our time in the UK for a while. Our life will now consist of traversing the World, experiencing new cultures and living out of a suitcase. This isn't everyone's cup of tea; travelling isn't always glamorous, it does have its downsides. We will be away from family and friends for an extended period and unable to enjoy that one to one interaction, that I so adore. I am a social animal first and want that close contact, on a one to one basis, but I am also someone who needs to explore, looking for answers and reaching out for new and inspiring experiences. It is a choice to travel for most, but for us, it is a way of life, that we haven't experienced for a very long time, since 2019. This is a time of great excitement, but also of trepidation and nervousness.

As I sat on the checkouts completing my last shift on Wednesday, ironically training a new member of staff, on the very till I was first trained on nearly four and a half years previously, a colleague approached and tapped me on the shoulder. Whispering in my ear, she told me a customer, who had become close over the years, had died that very morning. Her sister wanted to come over and see me before I left. This dear lady spoke so eloquently of her sister's last moments, ending by saying, she had hoped 'I had already left on my travels,' because of how difficult it was to tell me of her sister Pats passing. An emotional day, had just become even more emotional, and I was left feeling rather empty after the news. As someone who believes in fate, I truly believe this was meant to be and gave me the green light to leave Fratton, embarking on a new but thought-provoking journey.

So many friends and colleagues have signed cards and given me small gifts and tokens of friendship to take with me. I have been overwhelmed by their generosity and care, and moved by the words they have said. One of my closest colleagues gave me a compass, reminding me, that wherever I was in the World, she would 'find me.' She, like so many others, will always be a part of my life, and I am so happy to have met her and everyone else. My closest friend Jules gave me a beautiful card, (below) and 'Tree of Life' pendant, signifying, according to him, my independence, uniqueness and family bonds. In all but name he is the Brother I never had, and this gift will always link us together, as both of us go our separate ways for now.

From my job at Tesco, I went to The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research, where I made my final farewells to people who have been so important to me during my years here. Walking back into The Newcome felt like coming home; as I sat chatting over a pint of Stella and packet of crisps, I was reminded of where it all started in 2018. I haven't been back here for a while due to work commitments, but I spent many years working here and needed to say goodbye. Yes I know this is a lifestyle break and not forever, but with the world the way it is, I worry when I come back, nothing will be the same again; saying cheerio means closure, so I can happily go off on my mission to find myself....again!

From The Newcome it was on to Cancer Research in Commercial Road for a glass or two of Prosecco and some typically uplifting banter. This is the reason I started volunteering and why I kept coming back. The volunteers and Zerina, especially, are amazing individuals; when Darrell got a job with the shop, I knew how happy he would also be, and I wasn't wrong. I know it is so hard for him leaving everybody, but like me, he has made some memorable friendships. These are people who will always remain in both our hearts, they are quite simply the best of British and the most hard-working, down to earth bunch I have ever known.

Today, a friend from work who I missed yesterday, popped a card and a bottle of wine round. She wanted to come and see me before I left. Once again, I can not stress enough how deeply moved I have been by everyone's good wishes, it really means a lot. As a friend from Spain told me recently, rightly or wrongly, I have touched many lives; I just hope I have done so in a positive way. Angela has always been a beautiful soul, sharing mine and Darrell's love of cats, and has been a great friend during my tenure at Tesco. I will of course see her and everyone else again, but for now I am just happy for the love they have shown.

After Angela's impromptu visit, my Aunty Trisha, Darrell and I went to Titchfield to see my Father. This will be the last time I see him for a while, and I wanted to make sure he was OK. It is true to say I am worried about Dad. He is seventy-five years old and looking a little frail these days, but he repeated how well he was, and I should go off on my travels and not look back.

That is easier said than done. Although I don't see Dad as often as I would like, I enjoy being close by. When my Mother suddenly died in 2019, I was grateful to be near to my Father and glad to be able to do something to ease his pain. If anything happens to him while I am away, it will be harder to return quickly. Nevertheless, he assured me he was fine once again, and I have to take his word for it, after all I have no reason not to. I will naturally worry about him, but will check in as often as I can.

Dad gave me a deeply personal parting gift and a bunch of letters he had found, that I had sent Mum back in 1995. One of them was the very letter I wrote to her, coming out as gay, and my God did that bring back some emotions. My life may well be different to what Dad ever expected or even desired, but it is mine to own, and I have tried to live it as best I can. The unconventional nature of our relationship, separated at times by thousands of miles, has kept us strong as a couple. Our home will always be here in the United Kingdom, after all it's where we live, but torn between two diverging worlds it is our fate to travel, often for long periods of time. We will both know when the time is right to settle down, but for now we will keep following our heart on this endless journey that seems to never ends.

Bye bye UK, I'll see you soon!