This is the first Mother's Day since I lost my Mum last year, and what a difficult time it is to celebrate for everyone else. We have all been told to socially distance from family and friends and especially avoid going to visit our Mothers at this time. The process of spending even a few moments with anyone close has been banned and frowned upon and as much as we would love to see our parents, we all know it could be the catalyst that brings about their untimely death.

Once again I have been following Government guidelines today and spending time alone at home, with just the television, internet and cats to keep me company. I have had a lot of time to think and remember Mum today, which has been the only upside to this ghastly virus and it makes me realise just how lucky I was to have been brought up by such an inspirational lady. Had Mum been alive today she would have been stoical in the face of adversity and wouldn't have let Coronavirus get her down. I most certainly have a lot to learn from my Mother and am already finding the social distancing hard. As a person, I am social in every respect, so not being able to physically touch or talk to someone is a real burden I am trying to overcome.

Today I have spoken to many people I haven't seen in months and that is helping me to adjust to this new normal. I spoke to Darrell on the phone earlier as well, rather briefly I have to say. I told him to give up smoking, which could be a factor in just how bad one gets this virus. That is a conversation that didn't end well. Darell has never given up cigarettes, even after suffering two lung collapses, so it is doubtful he will now. I can only try to push him into doing the right thing, I can't force him, especially as he lives over ten thousand miles away in Australia.

Usually after the loss of a loved one on celebratory occasions, you can feel very much alone, unable to see your Mother in the flesh, but however, this year I am just one of millions of others around the country who can't see their Mum, and we are all in the same boat. Despite the threat that hangs over us, there are signs of a more United Kingdom on the horizon as we all work together to defeat COVID-19. If there is one thing I learned from Mum over the years, it's to continue to fight in the most extreme circumstances. None of us know where this fight will take us personally, but following advice, doing the right thing, staying at home and thinking of one's Mother from the safety of our four walls, is a great place to begin. Happy Mother's Day to all!

Like everyone else, I have been watching in horror at the disaster unfolding in Australia; wild fires causing devastation across the continent. Already an area the size of Belgium has been destroyed and half a billion animals lost in New South Wales alone. This is destruction on an unprecedented scale and I have been dumbfounded at the pictures I have seen on television.

I spoke to Darrell a few days ago in Western Australia, just to find out if he is OK. The fires are concentrated in the Eastern states and Darrell hasn't been directly affected by them, although there are still many wild fires ablaze in the west. The type of incidences we are witnessing usually occur in Darrell's home state, which is normally drier and hotter than the east, but this year the reverse is true and Australians can only watch, like the rest of the World, as the Eastern seaboard burns unabated.

I have lived in Australia twice with Darrell over the twenty four years we have been together and have experienced some particularly harsh weather. I remember it was so hot during the summer of 1998, that you couldn't even move to turn on the air conditioner. Australia is a country of extremes in every respect, one of the reasons I chose not to live there. However it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever lived and have many fond memories of my time living there. It is terribly sad seeing such awful scenes playing out in front of our eyes. The loss to Australia and the World is immeasurable.

The reaction of Scott Morrison and the Liberal Government is typical of politicians who understand nothing about the challenges Australians face everyday. The Prime Minister's decision to go on holiday, while Australia burned was unbelievable and shows his complete contempt for the public who voted him into office. This is a man who denies climate change is happening and continues to promote the mining of fossil fuels to keep the lights burning in Sydney. This vast nations reliance on outdated methods of Electricity production, when it could be investing in solar power, an abundant source Australia has unlimited access to, is shameful. This man's refusal to listen to climate change experts has been complicit in the severity of the fires raging across the Eastern states; it is people like him who continue to destroy this planet for no other reason than personal gain. Like Donald Trump, history will judge him harshly for his actions and lack of foresight. The World we live on is dying and no one is prepared to stand up and do the right thing!

Australia will burn for many more weeks yet, as the intensity of the summer grows stronger. As spectators to this travesty, we must do more to help those suffering in my second home Australia.

Please click on the link above, to give what you can to help those in greatest need and rebuild the shattered Eastern States of Australia.

Australia is burning, animals and lives are being lost - Make a donation, MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

different, and I have been surrounded by family and friends.

On December the 11th, we were given a pre Christmas party at Tesco, where I work several days a week. I suppose this is when Christmas really started for me and I haven't stopped since. It does feel good to be a part of something at this time of year. In Spain I did feel rather alone and somewhat left out. It can be an unforgiving place and although the Expat community is made up of a fantastic bunch of characters, it can also be very closed to new comers, making life rather difficult!

I did manage to spend some time with Dad before Christmas, going out with him for a meal and exchanging gifts. This will be a particularly difficult time of year for him, being his first Christmas without Mum, but he is still coping remarkably well.

We chatted over lunch for a good hour or two and Dad seemed relaxed, talking about subjects that interested both of us, from politics to family. We also talked about issues we hadn't spoken about before, which did seem rather awkward at times, but Dad felt it important to lay a few ghosts to rest and at least we cleared the air. It would be yet another Christmas spent apart as a family, but we are becoming a little closer day by day!

Both my Aunt and I were working on Christmas Eve and with my Aunt also working on Christmas Day, we opened our main presents to one another when we got home from work. I am lucky to be around my extended family for the next few days but my thoughts obviously turn to Darrell in Australia. My World isn't complete without him here and as I open my gifts I can't help remembering the occasions we spent together during better times. This will be the third Christmas we have spent apart and it doesn't get any easier. I am hoping next year will be very different, but for now we both continue doing what we have to!

Christmas Day I went to my Cousin Rachel's. Together with my Aunty Sue, we spent a lovely afternoon eating, drinking and talking, just what all families do on Christmas Day. I had a few too many pints of Stella if I am honest, which didn't sit well with my constitution, but then that's what generally happens at Christmas.

Boxing Day was filled to the rafters with family, lots and lots of family, just like Christmas used to be. Christmas is of course a time for children and they are what makes this day special. The last time I was surrounded by kids, celebrating like today, would have been when I was a child myself. You see, I have never really had any contact with the younger generation, which has always been a disappointment for me, but I am certainly making up for lost time now.

It felt good to be around everyone this Boxing Day. There were tears, crying, laughter and joy, all rolled into one and that made for an interesting day. Family are far more precious now than ever, especially after the loss of Mum. It is the linchpin that holds the generations together, gives us identity and is responsible for influencing what direction we take in life. It is only fitting that we spend time with those closest during the Christmas period, it is certainly what made Boxing Day memorable for me!

On Sunday along with my Aunt I was invited to my Uncle Paul's house, to celebrate Christmas with my late Mother's family. I haven't celebrated with Mum's family for more years than I care to remember. I felt happy and relaxed to be in the company of relatives, that I only usually see at funerals these days and enjoyed spending time with them all.  Of course this Christmas was very different from those of my childhood, but it was a reminder of a past I had almost forgotten about!

Last night I spent a quiet evening relaxing alone on New Years Eve. I wasn't particularly in the mood for socialising at all. I used to enjoy partying and celebrating the new year, but without Darrell, I wasn't in the best of spirits. I used the time to sit and reflect about the past year, another difficult and challenging twelve months. As we move into 2020, I am reminded of the decade we have left behind and can only hope this year will be the beginning of something better;  Darrell and I have survived many battles in the past and will do so again. Every new year offers hope for the future and a belief that this year will be different; I walk into 2020 with my head held high and a determination to survive whatever life throws my way!

On Tuesday we celebrated Darrell's Birthday, a few days before he left for Australia once again. My Aunt had booked a table at The Noble House Restaurant in Southsea. This is a place I haven't been to before, but have heard good things about, so was looking forward to a wonderful evening.

Everyone met at The Newcome Arms at 7pm; the pub was packed with Portsmouth fans. With Pompey playing at home, the bar was busier than I had seen it in a long time, but we found somewhere to stand and enjoyed the charged atmosphere, along with everyone else. Despite my dislike of football, I have become rather fond of football days, working at The Newcome, so being on the other side of the bar, made a pleasant change.

Darrell met many of those I now regard as friends and was able to say goodbye to the regulars he had met during his stay.  I am honoured to have had the the opportunity to meet the numerous personalities who frequent this popular public house, because they are a large part of my life and have been generous in welcoming me to their local community, a community I feel a big part of. Darrell has also found the nature of everyone, including my Aunts long standing friends, who joined us at Noble house, refreshingly open and embracing, one of the reasons I love living in Portsmouth.

After a few early evening drinks, we arrived at this highly recommended restaurant and without exception, the food was first class. I am not the biggest fan of Chinese food but the experience I had there, could very well change my mind. At a cost of twenty two pounds a head, including drinks, the price was pretty reasonable too; this is a place I will certainly be visiting again!

The following morning we went for a day out at Gunwharf Quays. Like most of November, the rain was pouring down, but that didn't detract from Darrell's last day in Britain. Pat had travelled down from Wiltshire, to also spend the day with us. It has been many years since Darrell last saw her and they had much to catch up on. It was great to do 'normal' things, mooching around the shops and having a spot of lunch at The Slug and Lettuce. This has been the best aspect of having Darrell home over the past month, just doing what we used to do, before our life was turned upside down.

Spending time with family, positively, celebrating Darrell's 47th Birthday has been a joy. Even when we were living together in the UK or Spain, we rarely saw family, so this year, Darrell's Birthday was all the more important. My Aunt and Cousin's have welcomed him into their lives, just like the community in which I live and that is something neither of us are really used to. People often ask me why I take a lot of photographs, especially of people I see everyday, but they really don't understand just how important family is to me these days. These are relations I didn't see for many years and without their love and support, my life would be so much more difficult.

A few hours, walking in the pouring rain with my two Aunty Pats and Cousin's Emmy and Thomas, is worth all the tea in China. I will look back on this day out as an important milestone in my life, rather than just another day to be forgotten about. Most people take occasions like this for granted - I don't! Precious memories are few and far between as I grow older; I want to remember the good times, to help me get through the bad!

Darrell left for Singapore and Australia on Thursday, after a month away from home. We have both become used to the nature of our relationship and always make the most of the time we have together. This month has seen a mixture of emotions - laughter, tears, anger and happiness, but through every twist and turn we have grown stronger as a couple. Darrell isn't used to just how big my family is and has found it difficult adjusting to life surrounded by Aunt's, Uncles and Cousins, yes plenty of Cousins, but over the weeks he has started to understand the importance of family. It has been a very difficult road getting here; my strained and at times acrimonious connection with my kinfolk has turned full circle and life is far better now than it ever has been. Of course Darrell is a part of that family and like me, he is just beginning to discover his place in it!

As I once again bid farewell to my husband, for another six months, I am mindful of the continual battles ahead. By the time I see Darrell again, I will have reached the grand old age of 49, a year closer to death as they say. Neither of us are getting any younger and we have to start thinking about the direction our life is travelling in, as we reach the beginnings of old age. Coming back together as a couple is a pressing priority; with the death of my Mother I am now happier to move from the UK once again and am looking forward to a future away from a decade of misadventure, impediment and pain!

On Thursday Darrell, Aunt Trisha and I went to see my Father in Fareham. The day before, he had celebrated his Birthday with my Brother and his family, so it was important for me to also see him. At 72 years old, my Father is still going strong and remarkable in many ways, especially whilst looking after Mum, as her carer for twenty years. Understandably, Dad wasn't really in the mood for celebrating this important milestone, but in my view, it is necessary to carry on as a family, in the same vein we have before.

Dad is still mourning the loss of Mum and misses her everyday. This has been the first time since her death that Darrell has had a chance to see him and presented him with a card he had written after Mum died. Both Dad and Darrell were very emotional; the words Darrell had written were extremely poignant and stirred a lot of feelings in all of us who were there at the time. Writing from the heart is a brave thing to do, especially when you don't normally express yourself in such a way, so I was also aware of the time, effort and courage needed to produce such a personal piece of writing.

Dad took us all for afternoon lunch at his favourite eatery, Titchfield Mill, where we had a superb meal and family catch up. It is good to see my Father and Aunt Trisha, his sister, once again bond as a family. These two siblings were somewhat estranged for many years, but with the death of my Grandparents and my late Mothers illness, they have started to build bridges and become close again, as Brothers and Sisters should be.

Family has become the most important aspect of my life in recent years. Without their love and support, I would have found this time, spent away from Darrell even more difficult than it already is. The only wish I have now, is to see Dad happy and content in life, as he begins the difficult task of recovering from the loss all of us have felt. As the months tick by, I will endeavour to do all I can to help facilitate my Fathers long term future and will stay firmly rooted at home with family and friends, until Darrell returns on a permanent basis and we can start where we last left off in Spain!

Today we said farewell to Jersey and the gorgeous Merton Hotel. Although we have only been here for a few short days, I think I speak for both of us, when I say, how much we have enjoyed our stay. It has been a long time since  I have felt so relaxed and calm and have found my first experience of the Channel Islands, extremely rewarding.

The Merton Hotel in St Helier was comfortable and the staff hospitable. Our stay at this family run establishment was superb; if any of you travel to Jersey, I would highly recommend a stay here. The breakfast, choice of restaurants and facilities was second to none and certainly made our stay all the more enjoyable. Nothing was too much for the staff at The Merton and without exception they accommodated our every need. When you travel somewhere new, you want to feel rested and congenial in your surroundings. The Merton Hotel offered us the best experience we could have asked for; the mark of a good hotel with a five star level of service.

Darrell went to the gym this morning for a swim and sauna, while I relaxed watching a bit of television in bed. After another great breakfast, we leisurely packed our bags and left the hotel, catching a taxi to Liberation Bus Station, where we caught the bus to the airport. Sat on the top deck once again, we were driven the short journey across the island. Sitting there, looking out the window, the rain pouring down, I was struck by the similarities to the UK and southern Britain where I live, but I was also reminded how different this place is. Quirky, charming; a shining jewel in the English Channel.

My late Grandmother, spent many happy years in Jersey and was a frequent visitor, always enjoying her stay and it's easy to see why. I did have the secure feeling I get when I am home in the United Kingdom, but I also felt like I was in a foreign country and all the excitement that goes with that.

Arriving at the small airport, I was sad to be leaving this largest Channel Island and looked forward to the day I would return, because I surely will. I don't always say that about places I visit, but Jersey really does have a special place in my heart. With my family leaving near St Helier, I now have the perfect excuse, to hop on a plane and once again say a big hello!

The plane journey back to Southampton was horrendous, I hated every minute of it. The turbulence was worse than anything I have ever experienced before and I was hanging on to the seat in front for dear life. Of course I have been on small planes before and understand the flight is very different to a large 747, travelling to Asia, but this was a nightmare for me - a frequent flyer with a fear of flying!

I have taken home some wonderful memories of my time in Jersey and spent some valuable time with my Cousins and of course my husband. We both had the few days together we needed, to keep on battling towards our goals and eventually coming back together again on a permanent basis. Thanks Jersey, for showing us, there is life after death!

After the constant rain yesterday, there was a break in the deluge this morning. For the first time in many months, I actually had a few hours extra sleep, waking at a far more civilized 7am. Following a good nights sleep, I was looking forward to the day ahead. Feeling relaxed is important now, as I rapidly approach my fiftieth Birthday, I need to wind down a little from time to time, without stress, tension and most importantly anxiety, something that has become all to familiar in recent times. Spending a night with my partner, after such a long time apart, has been the tonic I have needed to carry on living, at a very difficult time.

We took a short walk from the hotel towards the bus stop in Beach Roach, catching the bus to Mount Orgueil Castle, a landmark in Jersey. This castle looks stunning from a distance, as you drive along the coast road towards this majestic outpost. Sadly the weather wasn't brilliant, but we were still able to stand and admire this building through the cloud and occasional sunshine, avoiding the rain for now.

We climbed the steps to a vantage point, looking out across to France; the views were stunning. I felt completely chilled, just standing there, thinking, contemplating and enjoying the peace and quiet, not a sound could be heard and that felt good. It's been a long time, since I have felt so untroubled; I was almost nonchalant in my repose, without a care in the World. All that mattered was hear and now and time spent with my husband, on an island that was quickly capturing my imagination!

As the weather turned sour, we took the bus from Gorey Pier, just below the castle and headed back into St Helier, where we walked around the historic streets, window shopping and visiting local attractions. It's been a while since Darrell and I have done this, probably since we both lived in Spain, so I was determined to savour the experience. St Helier was far busier than I thought it would be, but it really did have a continental feel about it, a part of the World both of us have lived in and somewhere we love to visit. Of course just over the water in France, Darrell and I used to own a small house ourselves, so flying to Jersey, really did feel like coming home!

In the evening my Cousin Phoebe picked Darrell and I up from our hotel and drove us to a eerily quiet restaurant, along the cost road to St Aubin, where for the first time ever, I sat down and met my Aunt Helen's son George, his girlfriend Tasha and of course lovely Phoebe. In truth I have met George once before, when he was a very small baby, but as my circumstances changed and life took me to very different parts of the World, I never really spent time with this side of my family, which was a real shame.

My Aunt Helen and Uncle John moved to Jersey many years ago with their young family, forging a new successful life away from the rat race in Britain. They have never looked back and are happy and content in their new life. George works on the Island and is now dating the lovely Tasha, who like Darrell and I, has travelled extensively across the World, always returning to the home she loves in Jersey. Phoebe has just finished her A levels and has singed a record deal with a leading music company. Not only does my little cousin sing beautifully, but she also writes her own music and is very talented. We listened to several of her songs and were deeply moved by the impression they left on us. I feel sure this young lady, only seventeen years old, will become the success she deserves.

As we all sat there talking, I was struck by the character of these young people, a far cry from most their age these days. All of them are secure and happy with who they are and accommodating and welcoming towards Darrell and I. We were all born in different era's from contrasting generations, but with my Aunt and Uncle away on a cruise, these guys were happy to  meet us and offer a glimpse into there idyllic Island lives; now there isn't many who would do that!

As I grow older, in the twilight of my years, I am always grateful to spend time in the company of my younger Cousins, both here, Portsmouth where I live or in my home town of Fareham. At one time, our little Hampshire family was the biggest in the County, but as time has moved on, our once inordinate menage has become scattered across the World, just like Phoebe and George, leaving smaller links to the past in their wake.

Meeting my extended family unit was the highlight of my trip to Jersey. These are two incredibly talented and well brought up youngsters, who I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with. Of course it would be amazing to come back to this largest of Channel Islands, since our family connection goes back a very long way, but with my life the way it is and Darrell living on the other side of the World, it does make it difficult to navigate these British Isles as much as we would like. Nevertheless, I would hope to return soon and start once again where we left off!

In June I was due to visit family in the Channel Islands, on the island of Jersey, but I pulled out due to a short lived illness. The Merton Hotel, where I was due to stay in St Helier, allowed me to rebook the hotel for November when Darrell arrived from Australia. This is highly unusual, that a hotel would allow someone to change the date of their booking, at no extra cost, especially at such short notice - of course I wasn't complaining; it allowed Darrell and I some valuable time together, away from the pressure of daily life.

We caught the train to Southampton airport, just a few miles down the road from Portsmouth, a regional airport, that really does take the hassle out of flying. There are no queues or hoards of people and the whole process of catching a flight couldn't be easier. This is an airport we have used many times before, especially when we used to fly to our home in Alicante, avoiding the traditional crush at London airports. After a quick coffee at Costa, bacon roll and cup of green tea,  we were quickly ushered through customs; wham bam, all done in half an hour!

As a person who hates flying, I really wasn't looking forward to the thirty minute flight on board the small Blue Islands plane. After flying on a slightly bigger airplane in Cambodia, I was well aware of what to expect in such a confined cabin. You can feel every bump in the sky, every piece of turbulence and each rush of air that passes by as you head towards your destination. However for the most part, the flight was good and trouble free, just a little turbulence at the end of our journey as we descended towards the Island of Jersey!

We took the number 15 bus from the airport, to the capital St Helier. At a cost of two pounds the trip was cheap enough and the half hour drive along the rugged Jersey coast line was pretty smooth and wonderfully picturesque, as we sat on the top deck, watching the scenery pass by. The rain was falling, which was pretty much what we expected and the sun did make an appearance on occasion, just to make us feel like we were on holiday, no matter how short the duration!

After arriving at 'Liberation Bus Station,' we caught a taxi to the Merton Hotel, a short distance away. When you take a cab in Jersey, remember to take one of the yellow topped vehicles. Prices are strictly regulated and controlled, so you can be sure you are not paying over the odds for your journey. Darrell and I paid a few pounds for the rather pleasant ride, well worth the extra expense, avoiding walking around the city in the pouring rain.

After unpacking, umbrella in hand, we took a leisurely twenty minute walk into the city centre, taking in the sites and admiring the statue in Liberation Square, to commemorate the 50th anniversary in 1995, since the end of Nazi occupation and the end of the Second World War. This beautiful place is steeped in history, around every corner and down every small lane. With a distinctly French feel, it was a relaxing setting to explore. The mix of English and French can be a little confusing at times, but it makes for a unique destination, one I instantly fell in love with!

We had an early dinner at our favourite pizza restuarant, Pizza Express, where we were served by a rather pretentious Frenchman, who clearly thought himself more superior than the customers he was serving. There are a lot of French nationals working on the island it seems, bus drivers and shop workers, just two professions where we noticed a predominance of foreign workers. Well, when you work in a tax haven, where wages are high, why wouldn't you travel to this Channel Island to find work?

On the way back to the Merton Hotel, I popped into the Cancer Research shop, where I met  the lovely Manager. I wanted to get a picture of her with Clayborne, the Cancer Reserch teddy, who accompanies me on my travels across the World. I suppose for Clayborne, this was a bit of a homecoming, rather like it was for me. Much of my family come from the Channel Islands and with my Aunt Helen, husband John and there children currently living near St Helier, this was most certainly a place to call home, a special part of the British Isles!