The August Bank Holiday Monday was hot and I was spending the day at The Queens Hotel in Southsea, at a garden party in the sun! The tribute act 'Forever Queen' were playing to a packed audience in this plush Portsmouth hotel.

I arrived with some friends from work and spent an enjoyable time, relaxing after another busy week. There were many people at this holiday event and it was fantastic to just let ones hair down for a few hours, drinking, dancing and chatting with those who play a significant role in my life.

What could be better, after sitting in the hot sun for the afternoon, but a civilized meal with more colleagues and friends at the John Jacques in Fratton. For me, a few pints of orange juice and lemonade and a rather diet busting, calorific all day brunch, followed by cake and ice cream; comfort food, to end the perfect day!

Keeping fit and trying to lose weight, has always been an activity, I have had difficulty with. I have spent my whole life dieting in one way or another, so it is natural I have reached another crossroads in my life, where I need to do something to get healthy once again. To be honest, I did consider another strict calorie controlled diet, but soon realised it wouldn't work. Why wont it work? Well I have tried that approach many times before and I have always failed somewhere down the line, usually just a few days into it!

This time I wanted to do something different and really start to eat healthier, without restricting myself too much. As an all or nothing person, I have never chosen the middle ground; extremes are my forte. During the times when I did rigorously eat an uncompromising diet, it felt like a prison sentence and I soon got fed up with the austere nature of what I was doing. All I did was crave the things I liked and eat the things I didn't. This was a sure fire way to fail and it wasn't long before I got fed up with the whole palaver and just continued down a self destructive path of binge eating, even in secret.

So today I am cutting down, choosing healthier alternatives and most importantly reducing the size of the meals I eat. On top of this sensible eating plan, I have also decided to reduce the carbohydrates in my diet dramatically, but not altogether. If I stop eating carbs completely, I will crave them all the more and surely fail at the first hurdle. Buying food that is lower in carbohydrates is a good start for me; low carb bread as well as fresh fruit and vegetables and more salads should help me lose weight. Yesterday I also made some Cauliflower Rice, by blending the vegetable up into grain size pieces and quickly frying it in olive oil; served with Chili, it tasted delicious. It worked surprisingly well, despite my initial apprehension and didn't taste of cauliflower at all.

So it's back to healthy eating for me, not a bad thing when one considers the amount of walking I do a day and the cigarettes I no longer smoke. It is about time I took charge of my own destiny, and as I drift towards my fiftieth year, I am fully aware of what I need to do in order to live a longer, healthier life. My body no longer feels and acts like the twenty year old, who used to drink, smoke  and party hard; today it is in need of an MOT and an overhaul, accepting what it can and can't do. Realising ones age and changing ones lifestyle is an important part of maintaining the perfect balance between body and mind. My mind is as healthy as it has ever been, my body, well, just needs work...Could do better as they say. Hopefully this time, I will succeed where I have failed in the past!

Today I made a visit to see Mother and Father, at their home in Catisfield. It has been a while since I saw my parents; work commitments and a busy lifestyle has prevented me from seeing them as much as I would like. However, with some spare time on my hands, no weekly Doctors appointment and a break in the bad weather, I made the short journey to see them both.

Mum was in fine fettle, looking far better than she did the last time I saw her. Mother is doing so well, she no longer needs to see the District Nurse on a regular basis and has been discharged from her care. Of course it is difficult accepting that Mum will be confined to bed permanently, but in truth, she is far better off for it. Before, she was confined to a wheelchair, walking maybe a short distance on her prosthetic legs when she was able. After a third amputation, she has found it impossible to continue walking at any level, so remains bed bound, but seemingly in better spirits. Mum at least has the luxury of sleeping in a bed now, where as before, she slept upright in her wheelchair, in itself a life limiting existence.

Mum and Dad have a lovely home, with extensive gardens, something Mum is able to see through her bedroom and into the sun room beyond. When one is confined to a bed, it is important to have access to the outside World, even if it is through glass, and Mum does have fabulous views, peaceful, with a large tree lined park beyond. As readers to this blog are aware, my Mother and Father had proposed moving to a luxury gated community in their dotage, but have recently pulled out of their commitment, deciding to stay in their family home. I am pleased they have made this decision and am glad they will be remaining in the place they know best. Living in a luxury apartment would not have been ideal for Mum, looking at four walls, in eye shot of a car park. At home they have access to far more than they realised and will hopefully make the best of what future lies ahead!

All of us had a chat about politics as we always do and also discussed the future. My father has been told he will probably have to have an operation in a few years to replace his hip due to arthritis. As Mothers chief carer, this will of course impact on both their lives. Dad wouldn't be able to care for Mum during his rehabilitation, so as a couple they will have to finance a care package for them both, not a cheap undertaking. It is likely Dad will be out of action for up to six months, so the cost of care will run into the thousands of pound. They wouldn't get any state help, so would have to pay the nursing costs involved, or other family members would have to take over, something I would of course do under the circumstances.

As you and I get older, we will also have to make similar choices; none of us are invincible. My parents have worked hard all their lives and it is a disgrace they should have to pay for care, that they assumed would be paid for by the state; after all they have paid into the system all their lives. Social care is the one aspect of health provision in this country that has been neglected for far too long and someone needs to get to grips with it. Why should hard working people lose their assets, because a greedy care provider charges two thousand pounds a week, for looking after someone? It really doesn't seem fair, but this is Britain in 2019!

In time we will have to sit down as a family and decide what we should do in the future, when my parents care needs change, but until then, it is good to see Mum robust and well, fighting fit and realistic about what lies ahead. I am home in the UK to be there for both my parents, as Darrell is in Australia to be with his Mum. These are testing times for all of us, but at least we are doing the right thing and being there for those who brought us into the World; without them, we wouldn't be the people we are. Rich or poor, ill or well, we are family first and foremost and families are there for one another!

It was the first day of the new Football season on Saturday and Portsmouth were at home to Tranmere, another football Club apparently. I jest, of course I know they are a team, but 'The Beautiful Game,' just isn't my favourite sport, actually no sport is my favourite sport, so it is no better or worse than anything else. However I have been in Pompey now for a little over a year, so I am getting used to the locals love of all things sporty, Working in a football mad  bar, I don't really have a choice, I have to get involved to a certain extent and I am learning much about this sport from the fans who frequent the Newcome Arms where I work!

As a child my Father always tried to get me interested in football, taking me to the park, playing kick about, just like all the other Dads on a Saturday afternoon, but I wasn't having any of it. By all accounts, I hated kicking a ball about so much, I would just sit there on a park bench crying, unwilling to move, having a tantrum at the mere thought of it!

When I attended school, things weren't any better and I would often bunk off from Physical Education lessons, to smoke a cigarette or five behind the bike sheds. Rather than getting involved in the undignified effort of playing a game that would make me dirty, sweaty and probably suffer from some kind of injury; I would puff my way through a packet of ten JPS...Cigarette smoke was far safer!

Even when I did have to play football, I was always the last one chosen; I would hang around the goalposts, trying to avoid the ball. On the rare occasion a football headed in my direction, I would flinch, put my hands over my face and hope it would just go away. I'm sure you are all well aware by now, of just how much I loathed this manly, filthy sport; it's only saving grace, men wearing tight white shorts and the homoerotic visions that promoted.

On the one any only time I went to a football match, with a friend called Denise, during my time at University, I was helping her write an assignment on Southampton Football Club. Sat near the front, I was awestruck by Nicky Banger's good looks and able to get an eye full when he headed in my direction. All well and good until I cheered at the wrong moment, when the other team scored...The rest is history as they say.

Despite my dislike of football, I was glad to be back at The Newcome on a football day. The regulars at the packed pub were generally in good spirits, drunk and overly affectionate, wanting photographs and enjoying the attention from the staff. I have grown fond of many of the lads who turn up on a Saturday afternoon and really do feel like I am part of the furniture now. They seem happy to see me and we are able to have a laugh and joke about my lack of football knowledge. It was great to be behind the bar again on such a busy day and yes, I look forward to the next time Portsmouth play at home!

After a bout of depression yesterday and the realisation that not everyone in my life is great, today I had my faith restored in humanity. Monday is of course my day for volunteering at Cancer Research, a place I always love being. Surrounded by friends and colleagues. I once again had a busy morning restocking the electrical department, after a successful week of sales.

I also roped in a friend from The Newcome Public House where I also work, to do a spot of voluntary work, since he had a day off and between us, we got a lot done, more than usual it has to be said. There were numerous electrical items in the stock room to go through and Gary was able to help, making sure everything I was displaying was in working order. Big thanks to the big man for coming in at such short notice, disturbing his morning shop in ASDA. I even made him several cups of builders tea, something I never do...I ABSOLUTELY HATE MAKING THE STUFF!

It was also a big hello once again to Jules, a colleague I also work with at Tesco, on his return to the Monday fold. After a break of several months, he returned to his rightful place behind the till, flirting with  customers and being a welcoming beacon for the older ladies and probably men too, who come in the shop. As one customer said to me today, 'he looks just like George Clooney doesn't he?' Well, I may well beg to differ on that comment, but Jules is a wonderful bloke, who is a great addition to the Cancer Research family!

Happy Monday Y'all!

Yesterday everyone at Cancer Research said farewell to Deputy Manager Jo, who is moving on to her own shop in Gosport. Eleven of us went for dinner at Yan Woo Restaurant in North End, Portsmouth. This is a place that has been recommended to me before, so I was looking forward to trying the Chinese menu. The cost of an all you can eat meal, cooked to order, a bargain 17.95 pounds and it was worth every penny. The food was exceptional, piping hot and perfectly cooked. It normally takes a lot for me to be impressed with any dining experience, but the truth is, it was fantastic! With copious amounts of alcohol flowing and everyone in good spirits, the evening went off without a hitch!

Jo was a good Deputy Manager; her and I got on well, both of us having the same sense of humour, dressing up whenever we could, at every given opportunity and employing a lighthearted approach to our working day. Volunteering for a charity is different to the 'normal' working environment, it is a far happier atmosphere and everyone who volunteers wants to be there, enjoying making money for charity. Jo's friendly attitude and positive viewpoint was always a source of inspiration for me. Not only was she a boss and mentor, but she was also a friend and confidante. If ever I had a problem or issue, I always knew I could go straight to Jo for advice. She will be sadly missed by all of us who worked at Cancer Research in Portsmouth, the shop in Commercial Road will not be the same without her.

Anyone who knows me well enough, understands the amount of stress I have been under lately. I work up to sixty hours a week, no longer smoke, hardly ever drink and have very little time to myself. Don't get me wrong, I am loving my life, but sometimes I just need to relax.

Cue friends and colleagues Jules and Angela...

Last week I was able to take a brief respite from the pressures around me and have a drink or two in the company of Jules and Angela. A few hours of chatting, a gorgeous meal and a moderate amount of alcohol, enough to make me feel a bit merry at least!

I haven't had such a chilled time in ages and it really brought home to me how lucky I am, to be surrounded by so many good people, with no agenda or ulterior motives. Those closest in the past were not always the best lets just say, so it is refreshing to meet genuine, demonstrative and positive people. I have had many ups and downs in Portsmouth and it hasn't always been an easy ride, but my life could have been a whole lot worse....Here's to friendship!

After a tiring weekend of work, today I was at Cancer Research, doing what I love best, raising money for good causes. The day started off well and I got on restocking the electrical department, something I do regularly on a Monday morning. As lunch time approached I popped out into the high street to buy a sandwich and carry out a few errands. Despite working hard all week, I find my time at Cancer Research relaxing and a bit of a stress reliever, but not today!

Whilst out for lunch, I popped into a high street shop to buy a book. As I browsed at the rear, I heard a commotion, shouting and screaming coming from the entrance, so I moved closer, trying to hear what was going on. I saw two young girls, no more that eighteen years old, cowering by the desk, as a man shouted abuse in their direction. He was yelling expletives, talking in a derogatory way, about the girls appearance, making it very clear what he wanted to do to them. Clearly the man was unhinged, on drugs or worse, so seeing how distressed the girls were, I walked over to try and get the man out of the shop.

By the time I got to them, one of the girls was in floods of tears, as the man smacked her hard on her back. Firmly I asked the guy to leave, at which point he turned his attention towards me, lashing out, swearing and calling me a number of different names; nothing I couldn't handle. Once again I asked him to leave and moved closer, trying to usher him out of the door. Eventually he was escorted out by staff as I stood between him and the girls and the Police were phoned.

I continued shopping and made my way back to Cancer Research, making sure the girls were OK before I went and told them to stay put until the Police arrived. In front of me I saw the man being questioned by security at the entrance to The Cascades Shopping Centre. He spotted me walking towards him and began yet another tirade of screeching. As I travelled past, he turned and spat square in my face. I asked the security guards to phone the Police and make sure they held him until they arrived. He seemed like a monster, full of hate and anger and a danger to the public.

A little later, I had a visit from an Officer at Cancer Research, who took a quick statement. He explained the man had mental health issues and should have been out in town with an escort, but managed to get away. His own Mother was also his designated carer and was also finding it difficult to keep him under control. At eighty years old she was no longer able to look after him. The Officer assured me he was going to try and get his Mum and him help, asking me whether I wanted to press charges. Well obviously he pulled at my heart strings and I said no, as long as he gets the help he needs and we left it there.

I have often seen situations where a person is being abused in public and have intervened on occasion, or found someone in authority to deal with the incident. I am amazed at how people can just walk away when someone is in trouble; as human beings we have a duty to look out for others and do what we can to help. There is so much violence on the streets today, it is up to the public to be vigilant. Police numbers are falling and the amount of money put into mental health care has been slashed, so there will inevitably be many more such occurrences in future. As an individual I have always helped others, whether through charity work, mentoring or just offering an open door, when someone is in need. I will always be there if I can, as all of us should be. If we do the right thing, the World will be a much better place!