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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Birthday Celebrations & Bon Voyage!

1/12/2019

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On Tuesday we celebrated Darrell's Birthday, a few days before he left for Australia once again. My Aunt had booked a table at The Noble House Restaurant in Southsea. This is a place I haven't been to before, but have heard good things about, so was looking forward to a wonderful evening.

Everyone met at The Newcome Arms at 7pm; the pub was packed with Portsmouth fans. With Pompey playing at home, the bar was busier than I had seen it in a long time, but we found somewhere to stand and enjoyed the charged atmosphere, along with everyone else. Despite my dislike of football, I have become rather fond of football days, working at The Newcome, so being on the other side of the bar, made a pleasant change.

Darrell met many of those I now regard as friends and was able to say goodbye to the regulars he had met during his stay.  I am honoured to have had the the opportunity to meet the numerous personalities who frequent this popular public house, because they are a large part of my life and have been generous in welcoming me to their local community, a community I feel a big part of. Darrell has also found the nature of everyone, including my Aunts long standing friends, who joined us at Noble house, refreshingly open and embracing, one of the reasons I love living in Portsmouth.

After a few early evening drinks, we arrived at this highly recommended restaurant and without exception, the food was first class. I am not the biggest fan of Chinese food but the experience I had there, could very well change my mind. At a cost of twenty two pounds a head, including drinks, the price was pretty reasonable too; this is a place I will certainly be visiting again!
The following morning we went for a day out at Gunwharf Quays. Like most of November, the rain was pouring down, but that didn't detract from Darrell's last day in Britain. Pat had travelled down from Wiltshire, to also spend the day with us. It has been many years since Darrell last saw her and they had much to catch up on. It was great to do 'normal' things, mooching around the shops and having a spot of lunch at The Slug and Lettuce. This has been the best aspect of having Darrell home over the past month, just doing what we used to do, before our life was turned upside down.

Spending time with family, positively, celebrating Darrell's 47th Birthday has been a joy. Even when we were living together in the UK or Spain, we rarely saw family, so this year, Darrell's Birthday was all the more important. My Aunt and Cousin's have welcomed him into their lives, just like the community in which I live and that is something neither of us are really used to. People often ask me why I take a lot of photographs, especially of people I see everyday, but they really don't understand just how important family is to me these days. These are relations I didn't see for many years and without their love and support, my life would be so much more difficult.

A few hours, walking in the pouring rain with my two Aunty Pats and Cousin's Emmy and Thomas, is worth all the tea in China. I will look back on this day out as an important milestone in my life, rather than just another day to be forgotten about. Most people take occasions like this for granted - I don't! Precious memories are few and far between as I grow older; I want to remember the good times, to help me get through the bad!
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Darrell left for Singapore and Australia on Thursday, after a month away from home. We have both become used to the nature of our relationship and always make the most of the time we have together. This month has seen a mixture of emotions - laughter, tears, anger and happiness, but through every twist and turn we have grown stronger as a couple. Darrell isn't used to just how big my family is and has found it difficult adjusting to life surrounded by Aunt's, Uncles and Cousins, yes plenty of Cousins, but over the weeks he has started to understand the importance of family. It has been a very difficult road getting here; my strained and at times acrimonious connection with my kinfolk has turned full circle and life is far better now than it ever has been. Of course Darrell is a part of that family and like me, he is just beginning to discover his place in it!

As I once again bid farewell to my husband, for another six months, I am mindful of the continual battles ahead. By the time I see Darrell again, I will have reached the grand old age of 49, a year closer to death as they say. Neither of us are getting any younger and we have to start thinking about the direction our life is travelling in, as we reach the beginnings of old age. Coming back together as a couple is a pressing priority; with the death of my Mother I am now happier to move from the UK once again and am looking forward to a future away from a decade of misadventure, impediment and pain!
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Friends - Old and New!

25/11/2019

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This is Darrell's last week in Britain, before he flies home to Perth on Thursday, so he has been trying to see as many friends as he can before he leaves. Darrell and I have made many friendships over the years, so seeing everyone is just an impossible task. The ones who could be bothered and had the time, travelled to Portsmouth to see Darrell, which has taken the pressure off him and I travelling to see them. I lead a very busy life and have little time to do anything else but work!

On Saturday Chris and Sam came to say goodbye to Darrell for another year. They were regular visitors to our home for many years and often popped in to say hi when we lived in Southampton. I have of course seen Chris many times since we returned from Spain, but not Sam. This was the first time I had seen him since 2015 and this young lad has grown up a lot since then.

It remains important to stay in contact with many of those we have known since we got together 24 years ago and both of us do try to see as many friends as we can. Life may well have taken us in different directions, but the bond all of us share is still there. I have had many people come and go from my life and the truth is, I am a very difficult person to understand and get to know, but a few have stuck around long enough to know the real me - Sam and Chris are just two of them.

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Last night I dragged Darrell out with me and a couple of close friends from the supermarket where I work. Our mutual friend Paul also came along and we had a fantastic night, with lots of laughs.

I haven't had much to laugh about recently, having been constantly ill, so it's nights like last night that have become important. Letting ones hair down, having a few drinks with mates and spending quality time together is just what the Doctor ordered and I finally sat back, relaxed and enjoyed myself.

The people I have met, since returning to the UK have been a tremendous source of support in recent times and I feel like I have known them for many years.  Those I am close to now are very different to those I was acquainted with in the past and have given me an insight into a World, that I rarely saw otherwise. As a gay man my life was centred around the gay community and I had very few 'straight' mates. Today I much prefer the company of my hetrosexual peers, finding them more honest and trustworthy, without an agenda. Also the friends I have are of a similar age, unlike the younger age group we tended to gravitate towards ten years ago. We have far more in common, enjoy the same things, taste in music and conversations. Above all I live life at a more sedate pace these days, which suits my general disposition, as I grow older. I am an oldie now, in every respect and enjoy the activities us older people enjoy. This is a time where I am finally comfortable in my own skin.

I am grateful for the friendships I have and for the memories I am making everyday. This is a new chapter in my life, filled with new comrades, companions and experiences and I couldn't be happier. Darrell was equally relaxed and impressed with the attachments I have formed and seemed far more at ease with our current situation, than he has before; that makes me happy and my life much easier. As the sun begins to set on our relationship for another six months, I feel more secure and anchored with who I am and where I'm heading and look forward with positivity rather than apprehension. Friends are the superglue that holds me together right now, without them, life would be difficult to bear and my days in Britain far longer; without my mates my World would be a much smaller place!

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Happy Birthday Dad!

25/11/2019

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On Thursday Darrell, Aunt Trisha and I went to see my Father in Fareham. The day before, he had celebrated his Birthday with my Brother and his family, so it was important for me to also see him. At 72 years old, my Father is still going strong and remarkable in many ways, especially whilst looking after Mum, as her carer for twenty years. Understandably, Dad wasn't really in the mood for celebrating this important milestone, but in my view, it is necessary to carry on as a family, in the same vein we have before.

Dad is still mourning the loss of Mum and misses her everyday. This has been the first time since her death that Darrell has had a chance to see him and presented him with a card he had written after Mum died. Both Dad and Darrell were very emotional; the words Darrell had written were extremely poignant and stirred a lot of feelings in all of us who were there at the time. Writing from the heart is a brave thing to do, especially when you don't normally express yourself in such a way, so I was also aware of the time, effort and courage needed to produce such a personal piece of writing.
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Dad took us all for afternoon lunch at his favourite eatery, Titchfield Mill, where we had a superb meal and family catch up. It is good to see my Father and Aunt Trisha, his sister, once again bond as a family. These two siblings were somewhat estranged for many years, but with the death of my Grandparents and my late Mothers illness, they have started to build bridges and become close again, as Brothers and Sisters should be.

Family has become the most important aspect of my life in recent years. Without their love and support, I would have found this time, spent away from Darrell even more difficult than it already is. The only wish I have now, is to see Dad happy and content in life, as he begins the difficult task of recovering from the loss all of us have felt. As the months tick by, I will endeavour to do all I can to help facilitate my Fathers long term future and will stay firmly rooted at home with family and friends, until Darrell returns on a permanent basis and we can start where we last left off in Spain!
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Jersey - 7 November 2019!

18/11/2019

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Today we said farewell to Jersey and the gorgeous Merton Hotel. Although we have only been here for a few short days, I think I speak for both of us, when I say, how much we have enjoyed our stay. It has been a long time since  I have felt so relaxed and calm and have found my first experience of the Channel Islands, extremely rewarding.

The Merton Hotel in St Helier was comfortable and the staff hospitable. Our stay at this family run establishment was superb; if any of you travel to Jersey, I would highly recommend a stay here. The breakfast, choice of restaurants and facilities was second to none and certainly made our stay all the more enjoyable. Nothing was too much for the staff at The Merton and without exception they accommodated our every need. When you travel somewhere new, you want to feel rested and congenial in your surroundings. The Merton Hotel offered us the best experience we could have asked for; the mark of a good hotel with a five star level of service.

Darrell went to the gym this morning for a swim and sauna, while I relaxed watching a bit of television in bed. After another great breakfast, we leisurely packed our bags and left the hotel, catching a taxi to Liberation Bus Station, where we caught the bus to the airport. Sat on the top deck once again, we were driven the short journey across the island. Sitting there, looking out the window, the rain pouring down, I was struck by the similarities to the UK and southern Britain where I live, but I was also reminded how different this place is. Quirky, charming; a shining jewel in the English Channel.

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My late Grandmother, spent many happy years in Jersey and was a frequent visitor, always enjoying her stay and it's easy to see why. I did have the secure feeling I get when I am home in the United Kingdom, but I also felt like I was in a foreign country and all the excitement that goes with that.

Arriving at the small airport, I was sad to be leaving this largest Channel Island and looked forward to the day I would return, because I surely will. I don't always say that about places I visit, but Jersey really does have a special place in my heart. With my family leaving near St Helier, I now have the perfect excuse, to hop on a plane and once again say a big hello!

The plane journey back to Southampton was horrendous, I hated every minute of it. The turbulence was worse than anything I have ever experienced before and I was hanging on to the seat in front for dear life. Of course I have been on small planes before and understand the flight is very different to a large 747, travelling to Asia, but this was a nightmare for me - a frequent flyer with a fear of flying!

I have taken home some wonderful memories of my time in Jersey and spent some valuable time with my Cousins and of course my husband. We both had the few days together we needed, to keep on battling towards our goals and eventually coming back together again on a permanent basis. Thanks Jersey, for showing us, there is life after death!

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Jamie and Jamie!

17/11/2019

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Readers to Roaming Brit will be aware of my gay daughter Jamie, who lived with Darrell and I in Spain four years ago. On Saturday he travelled to Portsmouth with his partner, also called Jamie, to see Darrell, before he returns to Australia in eleven days time. It has been a while since I saw them both myself, so I was determined to enjoy the few short hours we had together.

Little Jamie was a big part of our life for many years and we spent many happy times together, growing close during a particularly challenging time in my life. Jamie was there for me through the darkest of days and helped pick me up at some terribly low points. The both of us have always got on, having a very similar sense of humour and an interest in similar activities. It was only right that Jamie came with us in 2015 to Gran Alacant, even though it didn't end well for him. As he said, 'it was an experience that made him the person he is today and he wouldn't have missed it for the World.'

We have spent a lot of time catching up with friends and family since Darrell arrived in the UK and it was amazing to include Jamie on that list. By all accounts he hasn't been having a good time recently himself, so it was wonderful to sit down and have a laugh over a few beers. This was one of those occasions where we really did start off where we left and that is important. True friendships never end, even when battling through turmoil, they just take a back seat for a while, while we get our act together and that is the story of our friendship!

Lighthearted chit chat and laughter during onerous times; just what the Doctor ordered. I felt relaxed and happy, free from the stresses of life - It's days like this that all of us need to make time for, despite how busy we are. Happiness is hours spent with those closest, when peace seems too far away; a time to savour together, a break from the furor and fray that engulfs most of our lives on a daily basis!
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Jersey - 6 November 2019

14/11/2019

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After the constant rain yesterday, there was a break in the deluge this morning. For the first time in many months, I actually had a few hours extra sleep, waking at a far more civilized 7am. Following a good nights sleep, I was looking forward to the day ahead. Feeling relaxed is important now, as I rapidly approach my fiftieth Birthday, I need to wind down a little from time to time, without stress, tension and most importantly anxiety, something that has become all to familiar in recent times. Spending a night with my partner, after such a long time apart, has been the tonic I have needed to carry on living, at a very difficult time.
We took a short walk from the hotel towards the bus stop in Beach Roach, catching the bus to Mount Orgueil Castle, a landmark in Jersey. This castle looks stunning from a distance, as you drive along the coast road towards this majestic outpost. Sadly the weather wasn't brilliant, but we were still able to stand and admire this building through the cloud and occasional sunshine, avoiding the rain for now.

We climbed the steps to a vantage point, looking out across to France; the views were stunning. I felt completely chilled, just standing there, thinking, contemplating and enjoying the peace and quiet, not a sound could be heard and that felt good. It's been a long time, since I have felt so untroubled; I was almost nonchalant in my repose, without a care in the World. All that mattered was hear and now and time spent with my husband, on an island that was quickly capturing my imagination!


As the weather turned sour, we took the bus from Gorey Pier, just below the castle and headed back into St Helier, where we walked around the historic streets, window shopping and visiting local attractions. It's been a while since Darrell and I have done this, probably since we both lived in Spain, so I was determined to savour the experience. St Helier was far busier than I thought it would be, but it really did have a continental feel about it, a part of the World both of us have lived in and somewhere we love to visit. Of course just over the water in France, Darrell and I used to own a small house ourselves, so flying to Jersey, really did feel like coming home!
In the evening my Cousin Phoebe picked Darrell and I up from our hotel and drove us to a eerily quiet restaurant, along the cost road to St Aubin, where for the first time ever, I sat down and met my Aunt Helen's son George, his girlfriend Tasha and of course lovely Phoebe. In truth I have met George once before, when he was a very small baby, but as my circumstances changed and life took me to very different parts of the World, I never really spent time with this side of my family, which was a real shame.

My Aunt Helen and Uncle John moved to Jersey many years ago with their young family, forging a new successful life away from the rat race in Britain. They have never looked back and are happy and content in their new life. George works on the Island and is now dating the lovely Tasha, who like Darrell and I, has travelled extensively across the World, always returning to the home she loves in Jersey. Phoebe has just finished her A levels and has singed a record deal with a leading music company. Not only does my little cousin sing beautifully, but she also writes her own music and is very talented. We listened to several of her songs and were deeply moved by the impression they left on us. I feel sure this young lady, only seventeen years old, will become the success she deserves.

As we all sat there talking, I was struck by the character of these young people, a far cry from most their age these days. All of them are secure and happy with who they are and accommodating and welcoming towards Darrell and I. We were all born in different era's from contrasting generations, but with my Aunt and Uncle away on a cruise, these guys were happy to  meet us and offer a glimpse into there idyllic Island lives; now there isn't many who would do that!

As I grow older, in the twilight of my years, I am always grateful to spend time in the company of my younger Cousins, both here, Portsmouth where I live or in my home town of Fareham. At one time, our little Hampshire family was the biggest in the County, but as time has moved on, our once inordinate menage has become scattered across the World, just like Phoebe and George, leaving smaller links to the past in their wake.

Meeting my extended family unit was the highlight of my trip to Jersey. These are two incredibly talented and well brought up youngsters, who I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with. Of course it would be amazing to come back to this largest of Channel Islands, since our family connection goes back a very long way, but with my life the way it is and Darrell living on the other side of the World, it does make it difficult to navigate these British Isles as much as we would like. Nevertheless, I would hope to return soon and start once again where we left off!
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Welcome Home!

3/11/2019

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Darrell has arrived back in the UK for a month long visit, before flying back to be with his Mother at the end of November. He landed at Heathrow Airport on Friday, after a mammoth twenty hours of flying - not his favourite pastime these days!

Darrell and I haven't seen one another for six months now, since we met in ASIA and it was wonderful to be together again. We hope to spend time, relaxing, travelling a little and celebrating his Birthday at the end of the month. These times are important for us, as we continue the difficult journey we are on. With the death of my Mother in October this year, it is now paramount that Darrell spends as much time as he can with his Mum. Losing a loved one is hard and as I look back, even after only a short time, I wish I had had more time with my Mother - something I will never be able to change.

Thank you to everyone for sending their good wishes for our time together, they always mean a lot to us. On Tuesday, we leave for a short break in the Channel Islands and I will of course keep readers to 'Roaming Brit' updated on our adventure!
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Mary Light - Celebration of a Life!

31/10/2019

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On Sunday my relatives from Liverpool arrived in Portsmouth, to attend Mum's funeral. Aunty Margaret, 91 year old Aunty Mary and my Cousin Angela. This was the first time I had seen them, since 2012 at my Nan's funeral and it was lovely to see them again, after so long! It does seem, that the only time I really get to see extended family is on such upsetting occasions, but nevertheless it was important they attended, to see Mother on her final passage.

In the evening we chatted and reminisced about the 'old days,' talking about Nan and Grandad, long since gone and happier times, when our scouse relatives came to visit. Of course this may well be the last time I see my Aunts. Like all our family, I lead a busy life and have no idea what the future holds. Making the most of the time I had with my kin folk from the north was amazing and brought back so many memories of my childhood. This was a special Sunday evening, perfect before we said goodbye to Mum!

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We got to my Fathers house early Monday morning, where my Brother and his wife had already arrived. The atmosphere was somber as one would expect, but Dad was holding up well, under the most difficult of situations. He seemed pleased to see his Liverpool family, who sat chatting about Mum. Aunty Mary presented Dad with two folders, detailing prayers said in church for her. These two Aunts are deeply spiritual and were both brought up Catholics, so it was comforting to know, that Mother had been in their thoughts and those of the Church.

Other family guests arrived over the next hour. My Cousins Chris and Maria, Mum's sisters and Brother and her two nephews, all mourning her passing and celebrating the life of a Lady, who will always remain in all out hearts.

The funeral cortege left Dads bungalow at 12pm, followed by the family in two limousines and others attending the funeral. As I sat there, looking out at my old stomping ground passing by, many pictures popped into my head - Time spent with Mum, Dad and my Brother, growing up in an idyllic part of the World. Playing in fields, long lazy summers, walking towards the woods at the end of our road and being cradled tightly, securely by Mum, at times of trouble. This was Mum's final journey, taking a route she had travelled many times before, but it was also the last trip I would take, following in her footsteps, in the place I used to call home.

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We arrived slightly late for the funeral, after trying to navigate through a rather long traffic jam. The next funeral was already waiting to one side as we pulled up. It was strange that the other funeral was for the Mother of a young lady who I work with. As selfish as it may seem. I did feel comforted by that fact, knowing I wasn't the only one grieving a loved one that day. As I've discovered, it is always best to grieve as a group, comforting each other and helping one another through the difficult concept of death.

There were a lot of people at Mum's funeral, far more than we could have expected and that made the day even more poignant. Although Mum and Dad rarely had visitors in their latter years, due to Mum's ill health, there were still many who took the time to pay tribute to someone they had known. I was amazed to see the hairdresser who did Mum's hair before her Wedding, friends and neighbours from our time living in Thorni Avenue and to finally meet Dad's Best Man at their Wedding. All of these people, made Mum and Dad who they were and all of them cared enough to remember the life of someone who touched their heart.

Along with my Brother, Uncle Paul and John and Mum's nephews Lloyd and Kye, we carried the coffin into Portchester Crematorium, where a priest from Holy Trinity Church, where Mum and Dad got married, conducted a beautiful service of remembrance. My Uncle Paul read a Eulogy I wrote for Mum, unable to speak the words myself and Mothers favourite songs and hymn, Amazing Grace was played. It was a deeply emotional occasion for all of us who attended and and event I shall always remember.

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Eulogy - Mary Elizabeth Light 1949-2019

As Mary’s Brother it is my honour to read a tribute to her, on behalf of her husband David and children Luke and Kevin. The following Eulogy include the thoughts and feelings of my sisters grieving family at this difficult time!

Mary was born on the 11th February 1949, to Poppy and John Frampton, in the small market town of Fareham. She was one of five siblings and leaves behind sisters Susan, Diane, Helen and Brother Paul! All of us will miss her deeply, a bond that can never be broken. A local girl at heart, she rarely travelled far; her priority in life very much centred around her family. As a small child she was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes, an illness that would change her life forever, as she began the process of coming to terms with her condition.

In 1962 Mary met her then future husband David, whilst at school. David ‘thought he would like a date, with this lovely looking girl’ and a year later in 1963, they began a courtship that would see their eventual engagement in 1965. David would bring along his friends and gather in Poppy and John’s breakfast room, playing darts, chatting and getting to know one another. On one memorable occasion, David missed the dart board, piercing a water pipe, leaving damage in its wake, but that didn’t dampen their spirit and they eventually married at Holy Trinity Church in Fareham in 1967.

On the way to their honeymoon in St Ives, Mary and David travelled by coach. David had placed their case in the rack above, as they sat enjoying the journey ahead. When the time came to get off this old ‘bone shaker’ David jumped up and started to pull down the luggage. Losing his grip, he dropped in square on Mary’s head. Just the first of many bumps in the road and a time they still laughed about until recently. The beginning of their journey together and a lifetime of memories that flowed!

Mary worked at Suttons the Bookshop and Keast’s in Fareham, which sold Prams and baby equipment, finally training to become a hairdresser like David in the late 1960s. She followed a full time hairdressing career into the 1970s, when she finally gave up full time work to look after their first child Luke, who was born prematurely in 1971. Still working when she could, she relished her new role as a Mum and housewife. In 1975, David and Mary’s second child Kevin was born and their family was complete. Doting over her children, Mary would never waver in her devotion to her husband and sons, even during testing times; all the while dealing with the spectre of diabetes, that was never too far away.

Sat on a chair in the kitchen as Mum cut his hair, Luke was never one to sit still, fidgeting throughout and objecting to having to suffer the indignity of having his hair cut by Mum, Luke slipped further and further downwards, at which point, his Mother turned round, grabbed the kitchen bowl and placed it firmly on his head, threatening to give him a cut he’d remember if he didn’t sit still. It was the 1970s, a time of weird and wonderful hair, but even Luke sat up straight at the thought of a bowl cut, to go with his flared trousers and wide collared shirt!

Mary became a carer for David in 1998, when her husband suffered a brain hemorrhage. Her priorities as a wife and Mother had changed and turned full circle as David began a process of rehabilitation, aided by Mary and her belief in the man she married and the words ‘in sickness and health,’ ringing in her ears.

As a ‘protector’ Mary championed the needs of others, above her own. In the words of her son Kevin, she would have made a great ‘Health and Safety Officer;’ she always saw danger in everything. Over cautious, thinking of the worst case scenario, the bathroom door would remain unlocked, when anyone was having a bath – Just in case they fell asleep and slipped under the water. This ombudsman and campaigner of safeguarding always set her clocks ten minutes fast ‘just in case,’ a tradition carried on by her youngest son. There was always an emergency toilet roll to hand and she never trusted anyone with a key to the house. In her medical bag, an emergency kit-kat, packet of Mini Cheddars and neatly folded kitchen roll; prepared for every eventuality!

Mary was also a battler and grafter, working two jobs, at the Highlands Co-Op and as a cleaner at the local school for many years and of course caring for her growing family. This was a happy and productive time, until she retired in 2007. In 2008 Mary suffered the loss of her left leg, after years of injecting insulin took its toll. She remained determined to keep walking on her new prosthetic limb, right up until 2013, when she sadly lost her right leg and was confined to a wheel chair.

Despite all the heartache Mary was delighted at the birth of her grandchildren Meghan in 2010 and Hayley in 2013, two beautiful young girls who she adored and always gave her hope for the future. Mary may have been disabled, but she was now a proud Grandmother and always looked forward to seeing them when she could. Family were the linchpin of her life and without the love of her husband, Mum and Dad, brother and sisters, children and grandchildren, the difficulties she faced would have been so much harder to bear. This local lass from Fareham left an indelible footprint in the heart of all those who knew her and will be a great loss for everyone, especially her husband David, who cared for her during her final years of life.

In life we can’t always choose the battles we fight. Mary’s road was a hard one, but it made her stronger and more determined to beat the struggles she endured. With her customary smile and stoical outlook, she fought bravely, everyday and never faltered in her desire to grasp every second of life she had left! She will always remain in the hearts of those who knew her, a hero in every sense of the word!
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The wake at Cam's Hall Estate concluded a fantastic send off for Mum. I was delighted that many family members attended, many of whom I haven't seen in years. It was great to listen to their stories about her and recall the more propitious circumstances that defined her life.

2019 has been a terrible year for losing loved ones and it is a time I would rather forget, but on the plus side, I have been able to see many friends and relatives I have missed, reconnecting with a family I was estranged from for over twenty five years. The wake, made me realise the significance of my ancestry and I am finally aware of just how important these people are.

Mum's passing is a milestone that can not be matched. I know we should have been closer, especially during the 'lost' years, but as time moves on and our lives continue on this journey called life, I am happy to have had the best, most loving, dedicated and strong minded Mother in the World - A World, that was all the better for having her in it!

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Pat - Blast From The Past!

24/10/2019

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It was fantastic to see an old friend last weekend, someone I haven't seen personally for over seventeen years and someone who was close to my family for a long time. Pat 'nearly' accepted a job working for me in 2002, at a business I was running in a small village on the Hampshire/Wiltshire border and we soon became close friends!

I introduced Pat to my Aunt and her family after a night out in Portsmouth and they all got on like a house on fire, laying the foundation for a long and fruitful association that would last the test of time.

Like most things in life, circumstances change and peoples lives head in very different directions, consequently My Aunt and Pat lost contact and followed very different roads until recently, when their lives crossed paths once again! Pat spent the weekend with us, rekindling a bond that should never have been broken. It was wonderful to see her after so long, we had so much to catch up on. Ultimately however, it was my Aunt who was happiest to see a lady who used to be an pivotal part of her life and I was delighted to see her so contented, after spending such a long time apart!

I have also lost touch with many people over the years, sometimes by choice and on occasion through accident. As I grow older, I am finding it more and more important to cherish friendships. I have many regrets about the loss of those I once held in high regard and in time, I may also rekindle relationships that fell by the wayside, when the time is right of course.

Today I have started the process of re-establishing broken connections, links to individuals I never expected to see again, but with the wonder of social media, old friends and colleagues, long lost family and school mates have all become a part of my life once more. We do live in an age, where we don't instantly lose contact with people, when we leave an educational establishment or place of work and the attachments we have formed stay with us much longer, than they would otherwise have done in the past; that makes me happy. It is crucial to stay contiguous, with like minded individuals. I find socialising stimulating and a beneficial aspect life. Interacting with people is essential for my well-being and I value their relevance; always listening, always debating and always expressing how I feel. There is good in everyone and we should never disregard friendships like disposable pieces of junk.

Pat is a reminder of all the people I have lost in life and she has been instrumental in changing the way I think. Together with the loss of my Mother, I believe it is important to now focus on rebuilding the links I have lost and forgive and forget the difficulties of the past; after all how else will any of us move on!
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Happy Birthday Zerina!

17/10/2019

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On Monday evening, it was a trip to 'Yan Woo,' my favourite Chinese restaurant in Portsmouth, celebrating my dear leaders Birthday. Zerina has reached yet another milestone in her life and I was delighted to join in with the festivities; a great time was had by all!

Happy Birthday Gurl!

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    48 year old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently residing in my hometown of Portsmouth on the south coast of England!

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