My three weeks of annual leave has come to an end, and I am finally back to work. Thanks to my employers, I have been able to enjoy an extended period with my husband, Darrell, after his arrival in the UK. We have done a lot of walking, talking and discussing the future, which isn't necessarily what we expected. Neither of us thought we would be back to 2001, battling to secure our life here in Britain, but the reality is, this country has changed much over the last few years. Darrell and I have to learn to adapt to the changing circumstances and accept we will never achieve our ambition to live in Europe.

Trying to get to grips with the state of the immigration system has been a challenge. Darrell has all the same rights as I do, but because they were granted twenty years ago, he is finding it hard proving his status. There are many ways you can ascertain your rights to live and work in the UK; it very much depends on how you originally received your immigration documents.

Darrell received a vignette in his passport, stating he has Indefinite Leave to Remain in the UK; essentially giving him access to employment and benefits. Using his letter from the Home Office in 2001, he has never had a problem obtaining employment and in truth, he shouldn't now. Employers seem to be unaware of the process involved for someone like Darrell, and we are constantly being told to provide a 'share code,' which an employer can use to determine residency status. Share codes are digital passports, the descendants of the vignette Darrell has. In order for him to prove his right to work, he has to follow an entirely different procedure, which is clearly highlighted on the '.Gov' website. Sadly, this is little understood by employers, and we seem to be fighting a losing battle.

Both of us have been pulling our hair out, trying to draw attention to the resources available to prospective employers, searching for information from someone like Darrell. We both seem to be going around in circles, and it is frustrating to say the least. A simple calculation on a government website would clear up the ambiguity of our situation, yet the digital nature of proving one's right to work in 2021, especially after the pandemic, has become our Achilles heel.

Darrell has applied for jobs and spoken to employment agencies in Britain and just to highlight the difficulties we have been experiencing, each one has different criteria for determining whether he has the right to work. Some are prepared to take his Home Office letter, others not, some want a sharing code, others not; On top of this, having lived in Europe, his Spanish licence is also causing problems. Most employers want a British licence, but interestingly, many of the larger organisations are perfectly fine with a Spanish one. Our movement, all over the World, appears to have created obstacles; the British government want us to stay in one place and never to leave again. That isn't us, our life is based around travelling, it's the way we met and part of the fabric of our relationship together.

Trying to get a car and insurance is also proving problematic. Darrell hasn't driven for several years now, not since he and I lived in Spain, so getting reasonably priced insurance has become yet another stumbling block. We aren't sure if his 'no claims,' bonus can be transferred  from Linea Directa, his Spanish insurance company, to a similar business in the UK. If not, the cost of insuring even a small car will run into hundreds, possibly thousands of pounds. This is yet another hurdle we need to cross, as we rebuild our life back home.

Of course, we aren't the only people going through hard times at the moment. After Brexit, the number of expats returning has increased, and they too are having to start again, in a country that has changed dramatically since they last lived here. Compounded by the pandemic and people being unable to get home because of the virus, returning British residents have some serious concerns they need to address; we are all going through the same upheaval, and it won't end anytime soon.

It looks like Darrell and I will experience some awkwardness in how we live our life for the foreseeable future, until the Home Office give him his biometric resident card, and he can finally prove his right to work. Until then, I will be working long hours in two jobs to support us both. I'm not afraid of hard work, so life will carry on very much in the same vein, as it always has. Things may well seem daunting at present, but we are assured our predicament will get better and resolve in the near future. We are lucky to be together still, after twenty-six years, and that is our most important achievement. The world may well have changed dramatically since 2016, but it is also an opportunity for us, to start again, as we have done, so many times before. Our success or failure will depend on how well we whether the incoming storm; we are both fighters, and our determination can only help us focus on the challenges ahead.

September seems to be a busy month around here. There are numerous Birthdays, our anniversary, and the last of the summer sun to enjoy, before winter sets in. It was great to see old friends and new, also, as the last of the pandemic restrictions were finally lifted, life has started to get back to normal; more social interaction and time with family and friends has once again become a feature of everyday life. With Darrell returning home this month as well, life has suddenly got even more vivacious than usual. Despite having three weeks off, I have been busy every day and never seem to find the time to just sit down and chill!

On Saturday, we celebrated my Aunty Trisha's Birthday. For the first time in God knows how long, I had a few pints. This isn't something I would usually do if I am honest, especially after past experiences. IBS has prevented me from doing many of the things I would like, including drinking, but I felt it was time to see if my rather delicate constitution could handle it and luckily enough, I have no problems to report. This was a surprise to me, but since my gallbladder removal, my life has slowly been getting back to normal and the pain I experienced in the past is no longer there.

Since my operation in April, I have sadly started to put on weight again. The digestive conditions I suffered from, have subsided, and I have started to indulge in the things I used to like, including my downfall, cheese. When I weighed myself this morning, I was a horrifying 99.4 kg, this is a huge leap from the 93.5 kilos I was before my operation; it's time to start eating healthy again.

Despite the discomfort I experienced with gallbladder disease, the pain actually prevented me from eating a lot of things that were bad for my health. High fat food was always a no no, chocolate as well, and too many carbs would also cause problems. You can deduce from this, that my diet was actually far healthier than it is now; all I have to do, is change my eating habits once again.

Watching 'This Morning' today, there was a segment on weight gain, especially round the midriff. After doing a calculation they suggested, determining your ideal waist size, by dividing your height by two, it was clear I was actually five inches bigger than I should be; I've seriously got to start losing weight!

My Aunt had a fabulous Birthday, surrounded by a few close friends and family. We all chatted the night away, talking about the old days and listening to music from a bygone era. I haven't had many opportunities to spend time with my Aunt on her Birthday over the years, so it felt good to be a part of her day. Family is precious and even during the darkest times in our life, we should cherish the memories they bring.

Making arrangements for Darrell's resettlement in the UK and seeking advice from solicitors over his immigration status, has taken priority over the last few weeks. However, we have managed to spend a little time walking and relaxing, in between the mountain of paperwork and collection of documents. Having now employed a solicitor, we look forward to a speedy end to our current predicament. A long, five-mile walk around Portsmouth to the sea front in Southsea, has not only been energising, but it has also taken our minds off pressing matters.

At the height of the pandemic, I used to walk daily, up to ten miles at a time. As restrictions eased, and I spent more time at work, I became less and less active. Walking five miles, was half what I was used to, but I found it extremely difficult. Nevertheless, the weather was perfect, which made for an enjoyable experience.

Now Darrell is back, I would like to do more exercise, but I have a feeling I will be working more than ever. Until he is able to work himself, I will have to take on extra shifts. Once employed, I will be able to take a step back somewhat and not work so hard. My hope is, we will both be able to take on a more active lifestyle. I have to keep reminding myself, that I am in the final seven days of a three-week break from work, so have piled on the pounds, more than I usually would. Once I get back into a routine, the weight should hopefully start dropping off again.

It was great to end the week with friends and colleagues from work. Darrell and I have been through so much in recent times, that a few hours with those closest was just what the Doctor ordered. Drinks, food and chatter, was a welcome break from the difficulties of the last fortnight. It was a fantastic evening, thoroughly enjoyable and made a pleasant change, from worrying about things I literally have no control of.

I am a worrier by nature, which is also why I write. Anything that helps me take my mind off things that may be bothering me, is perfect for helping me to wind down and relax. I have been told by my Doctor many times before, that the IBS symptoms I suffer with daily, is due to my constant worrying. An evening out with friends, even if I am indulging in food and drink that would normally cause havoc with my digestion, is a great healer; that can only be a good thing.

Since Darrell returned to Britain, life has begun to get back to normal, well as normal as it can at the moment. Having my husband home has done wonders for my psychological wellbeing and has allowed me to see a future, where once there was none. Dining out with friends, together, may seem small to some, but to me, it signifies continuity and that is important for both of us. After such a negative period in our life, we can finally begin the process of restarting where we left off nearly two years ago. This month signals the beginning of a new chapter and a desire to succeed; only time will tell if the 'pandemic years' will have any lasting effect. The hope is, we will forget the last few years, put the dark days behind us and begin to finally live again!

Getting back to normal after two years apart can be challenging. When Darrell returned last week, I was under no illusions, as to just how much work was ahead of us. Re-establishing ourselves as a couple, and Darrell as a British resident, isn't going to be an easy task. The two of us have restarted where we left off in November 2019 (God, that really does seem like a lifetime ago now!) It really is a cliché, but it does feel like we have never been apart; I suppose that is the nature of relationships.

After surviving the initial jet lag, Darrell has spent the last seven days sorting out the legalities behind his arrival in Britain. The terms of his Indefinite Leave to Remain visa states, he must not be outside the UK for longer than two years, something he has never done, always returning to top up his right to remain here. This was the longest period he was away from the Britain, for a total of twenty-two months. Despite this, because so much has changed in recent times, he is finding it difficult to secure employment here. The documentation needed to work include a biometric card, which he has never had, having been granted Indefinite Leave to Remain in 2001, before this technology was available.

Yesterday, Darrell spoke to a specialist immigration solicitor, after discovering he wasn't able to register for jobs in the UK. The team at the 'Immigration Advice Service' were helpful enough, but our solicitor left us a little overwhelmed by all the paperwork she asked us to get; in our case, over twenty years of documents. It seems Darrell will now have to apply for his biometric card, or British citizenship, whichever is easiest to do. This will ensure he never again has to go through the bureaucratic nightmare, we are currently experiencing. Both of us just want to get on with our life, not have to start from the beginning again, proving every day of the last twenty-six years we have been together.

To be honest I have had a stressful week, sorting through files, looking for evidence of our relationship to send to the solicitor and speaking with organisations who can help. Everything is getting on top of me, and I am feeling particularly down and fed up. Mine and Darrell's relationship, has never been easy, conventional, or typical, but sometimes, I just want a break and someone to lift me up a little, giving me some hope during the most arduous of times. No one really understands the difficulties we face, every day, we have always stood on our own two feet and never, I repeat NEVER, asked anyone for anything.

I guess you're maybe detecting a little anger in my words today; if you are, you are right. Both Darrell and I are fed up with these Home Office games, constantly having to jump through hoops in order to survive and never having the opportunity to live in peace, without someone getting on our back for something. The happiness I feel having Darrell home, is tinged with sadness as we once again try to do our best in this unforgiving World.

This week, Darrell and I have been celebrating our 26th anniversary, the first time we have been together on this day for several years. There were no major celebrations after missing our silver anniversary last year; we spent the day with family near The Hard in Southsea and finally had a lovely relaxing evening, the first since he arrived back.

If I am perfectly honest, I never thought I would be in the position I am today. Darrell has worked legally in The United Kingdom for twenty plus years, yet today because of Brexit legislation and a biometric card requirement, he is finding it almost impossible to gain suitable employment. We discussed his predicament with our Solicitor, who explained the documentation he has, confirming his Indefinite Leave to Remain status in 2001, was enough to work in the UK. She went on to say, that employers are unaware or unwilling to accept perfectly legal paperwork, because of lack of knowledge on this rather difficult subject. That is obviously no consolation for Darrell as he tries to gain employment, but it is a terrible indictment on the lack of information available to employers.

Both of us will just have to persevere for now, as we decide on our next move. It looks likely we will apply for a biometrics card, but the frustration at having to do this is annoying and ridiculous. This is turning out to be an expensive and unnecessary undertaking at a time when companies are crying out for staff.

At least we have been distracted by the good weather and the chance to get out and about with family. Our anniversary was an opportunity to spend time with loved ones, stroll along Southsea sea front and have a few beers and a bite to eat at the Spice Island Pub. I actually haven't felt that calm and collected for a while. Despite the difficulties we are once again facing, both of us need to take time out, not only for each other, but also for those around us.

I have been relatively tense since Darrell arrived back in the UK, because I know just how difficult the next few months will be. Family time is the distraction that will give us both respite from the mountain of paperwork, that is slowly building on the bedroom floor. Once again, I feel like I am stuck in a time warp, continually sorting out documents from twenty years ago. The reality is, this is what we have always had to do, in order to prove the ongoing nature of our relationship.

This week, I also said goodbye to my boss at The Newcome Arms. Ellie was my Manager first, but she was a friend also, and I will miss her terribly. Working a couple of evenings a week in this popular backstreet pub, has done wonders for my confidence and self-esteem. The three years I have pulled pints behind the bar, has given me an insight into 'Pompey' life. Ellie was always a joy to be around, and I know all of us who worked there will always remember her face.

The last seven days have been a week to remember; I have lost my boss of three years, but have gained my husband back, at least for now. The chimes of change have been ringing for quite some time now, and I am glad Darrell and I are finally at a stage, where we can at least attempt to rebuild our life together; for how long, is anyone's guess. Ellie, moving on to pastures new, has signalled a change in all our directions, and I am looking forward to the challenges ahead. As a friend recently told me, 'You thrive on change, you can see it in your eyes' and I can't disagree!

I am relishing what happens next, but I am also apprehensive about the future. I hope for a calm ride, but always expect the worst. A positive outlook and hope for the future, should see me through the incoming storm, but until we are sure just what to expect, it's steady as she goes, thoughtful contemplation and plenty, yes plenty, of rest!

After nearly two years apart, Darrell and I are finally back together. It has taken many months of planning to get to this stage. Getting on a plane, especially from Australia, isn't the relatively easy undertaking it once was. With the country only allowing a limited number of people in, through a quota system, and even less out, flying from Australia has become a rather daunting task. Thankfully, Darrell was able to secure a place on one of the few flights leaving the country and is now back in the UK.

His flight left Perth, Western Australia on the 15th September, flying to Singapore, where he had a stop over of six hours. Like most things these days, his experience was different to normal. On arrival, he was given a green wristband and filtered through to a secure waiting area. Coming from Perth, where there is little to no COVID, he has been lucky enough to avoid the worst of the Coronavirus restrictions in place. On leaving Australia, flying to Singapore, he was fortunate to be on a plane with just twenty-five other people. Flying between Singapore and London was an altogether different experience, however, and to his horror the flight was packed.

To say Darrell is nervous of COVID-19, would be an understatement; one has to remember, he has lived in a bubble for the last two years. As an onlooker, viewing the unfolding pandemic across the World, he has been subjected to the terrible scenes played out in the UK and was understandably terrified at what he could be walking into. Sitting on a plane full of passengers, was an anxiety inducing experience, he isn't keen on repeating anytime soon.

With most airport facilities closed or restricted, flying isn't the enjoyable part of a holiday it used to be. Darrell's brief stopover in Singapore was purely to facilitate his onward journey to London. Having been double jabbed, and tested in Australia at a cost of $150.00 before he left, he was  as safe as he could be. Equally, other passengers should have been similarly protected, so one can only hope, there are no repercussions from the flight, and he will remain COVID free. In order to comply with Government rules, he will have to take a PCR test today, which will show if he has been successful in avoiding COVID on his long thirty-six-hour journey.

After a delayed flight from Singapore, Darrell arrived in the UK at 5pm on Thursday and got a coach to The Hard here in Portsmouth; he was home by 10.30pm. To be honest, it was a rather strange experience, being reunited with my husband, during the middle of a pandemic. We have of course hugged, but because of the nature of his journey, we have had to sleep separately for the first few days. If anything, it does make for interesting times.

Things have changed in Britain since both of us have lived here together. Darrell's arrival has signified the beginning of a return to normality for us; we have to immediately start rebuilding our life in Britain. 2015 was the last time we had a 'normal' family existence, just before we left for Spain and as we have discovered, much has changed.

Darrell has had some difficulty sorting out his paperwork, for his right to live and work in the UK. Since he last lived here, a new biometric card has been introduced and in order for him to gain employment, we need to apply for this new document, at a cost of £229.00. It looks likely that we will have to have his old 'Indefinite Leave to Remain' visa transferred to his new passport also. These are just more stumbling blocks to our life in the UK, something we are well-used to, after being together twenty-six years.

When Darrell was granted his 'Indefinite Leave to Remain' visa in 2001, we understood, this would be the last hurdle we would have to cross. However, things have changed in Britain dramatically, especially since Brexit. We are now faced with yet more challenges, as we navigate this new United Kingdom, which once again leaves us in a precarious position. Darrell's right to live and work here still remains, but the paperwork needed to prove this has also altered, creating comparable obstructions to those we experienced twenty years ago.

It really does feel like we are having to restart our life together once again, which on the surface is quite unsettling. We do have knowledge and understanding on our side and have been here before, both in Britain and Spain, so we just have to continue to persevere and work towards our goals in a sensible, measured way. The biggest mistake would be for us to panic and do something we regret, a knee-jerk reaction to a 'hopefully' solvable situation. For now, we will survive, as we always have, and will continue to work towards the productive and fulfilling life we both desire. The next few months will once again be hard, demanding, and testing, but as ever, our fortitude and love for one another will see us through, with a little bit of help and support from all of you; Our journey will continue, albeit in circumstances we could never have predicted.

On Tuesday we celebrated Darrell's Birthday, a few days before he left for Australia once again. My Aunt had booked a table at The Noble House Restaurant in Southsea. This is a place I haven't been to before, but have heard good things about, so was looking forward to a wonderful evening.

Everyone met at The Newcome Arms at 7pm; the pub was packed with Portsmouth fans. With Pompey playing at home, the bar was busier than I had seen it in a long time, but we found somewhere to stand and enjoyed the charged atmosphere, along with everyone else. Despite my dislike of football, I have become rather fond of football days, working at The Newcome, so being on the other side of the bar, made a pleasant change.

Darrell met many of those I now regard as friends and was able to say goodbye to the regulars he had met during his stay.  I am honoured to have had the the opportunity to meet the numerous personalities who frequent this popular public house, because they are a large part of my life and have been generous in welcoming me to their local community, a community I feel a big part of. Darrell has also found the nature of everyone, including my Aunts long standing friends, who joined us at Noble house, refreshingly open and embracing, one of the reasons I love living in Portsmouth.

After a few early evening drinks, we arrived at this highly recommended restaurant and without exception, the food was first class. I am not the biggest fan of Chinese food but the experience I had there, could very well change my mind. At a cost of twenty two pounds a head, including drinks, the price was pretty reasonable too; this is a place I will certainly be visiting again!

The following morning we went for a day out at Gunwharf Quays. Like most of November, the rain was pouring down, but that didn't detract from Darrell's last day in Britain. Pat had travelled down from Wiltshire, to also spend the day with us. It has been many years since Darrell last saw her and they had much to catch up on. It was great to do 'normal' things, mooching around the shops and having a spot of lunch at The Slug and Lettuce. This has been the best aspect of having Darrell home over the past month, just doing what we used to do, before our life was turned upside down.

Spending time with family, positively, celebrating Darrell's 47th Birthday has been a joy. Even when we were living together in the UK or Spain, we rarely saw family, so this year, Darrell's Birthday was all the more important. My Aunt and Cousin's have welcomed him into their lives, just like the community in which I live and that is something neither of us are really used to. People often ask me why I take a lot of photographs, especially of people I see everyday, but they really don't understand just how important family is to me these days. These are relations I didn't see for many years and without their love and support, my life would be so much more difficult.

A few hours, walking in the pouring rain with my two Aunty Pats and Cousin's Emmy and Thomas, is worth all the tea in China. I will look back on this day out as an important milestone in my life, rather than just another day to be forgotten about. Most people take occasions like this for granted - I don't! Precious memories are few and far between as I grow older; I want to remember the good times, to help me get through the bad!

Darrell left for Singapore and Australia on Thursday, after a month away from home. We have both become used to the nature of our relationship and always make the most of the time we have together. This month has seen a mixture of emotions - laughter, tears, anger and happiness, but through every twist and turn we have grown stronger as a couple. Darrell isn't used to just how big my family is and has found it difficult adjusting to life surrounded by Aunt's, Uncles and Cousins, yes plenty of Cousins, but over the weeks he has started to understand the importance of family. It has been a very difficult road getting here; my strained and at times acrimonious connection with my kinfolk has turned full circle and life is far better now than it ever has been. Of course Darrell is a part of that family and like me, he is just beginning to discover his place in it!

As I once again bid farewell to my husband, for another six months, I am mindful of the continual battles ahead. By the time I see Darrell again, I will have reached the grand old age of 49, a year closer to death as they say. Neither of us are getting any younger and we have to start thinking about the direction our life is travelling in, as we reach the beginnings of old age. Coming back together as a couple is a pressing priority; with the death of my Mother I am now happier to move from the UK once again and am looking forward to a future away from a decade of misadventure, impediment and pain!

This is Darrell's last week in Britain, before he flies home to Perth on Thursday, so he has been trying to see as many friends as he can before he leaves. Darrell and I have made many friendships over the years, so seeing everyone is just an impossible task. The ones who could be bothered and had the time, travelled to Portsmouth to see Darrell, which has taken the pressure off him and I travelling to see them. I lead a very busy life and have little time to do anything else but work!

On Saturday Chris and Sam came to say goodbye to Darrell for another year. They were regular visitors to our home for many years and often popped in to say hi when we lived in Southampton. I have of course seen Chris many times since we returned from Spain, but not Sam. This was the first time I had seen him since 2015 and this young lad has grown up a lot since then.

It remains important to stay in contact with many of those we have known since we got together 24 years ago and both of us do try to see as many friends as we can. Life may well have taken us in different directions, but the bond all of us share is still there. I have had many people come and go from my life and the truth is, I am a very difficult person to understand and get to know, but a few have stuck around long enough to know the real me - Sam and Chris are just two of them.

Last night I dragged Darrell out with me and a couple of close friends from the supermarket where I work. Our mutual friend Paul also came along and we had a fantastic night, with lots of laughs.

I haven't had much to laugh about recently, having been constantly ill, so it's nights like last night that have become important. Letting ones hair down, having a few drinks with mates and spending quality time together is just what the Doctor ordered and I finally sat back, relaxed and enjoyed myself.

The people I have met, since returning to the UK have been a tremendous source of support in recent times and I feel like I have known them for many years.  Those I am close to now are very different to those I was acquainted with in the past and have given me an insight into a World, that I rarely saw otherwise. As a gay man my life was centred around the gay community and I had very few 'straight' mates. Today I much prefer the company of my hetrosexual peers, finding them more honest and trustworthy, without an agenda. Also the friends I have are of a similar age, unlike the younger age group we tended to gravitate towards ten years ago. We have far more in common, enjoy the same things, taste in music and conversations. Above all I live life at a more sedate pace these days, which suits my general disposition, as I grow older. I am an oldie now, in every respect and enjoy the activities us older people enjoy. This is a time where I am finally comfortable in my own skin.

I am grateful for the friendships I have and for the memories I am making everyday. This is a new chapter in my life, filled with new comrades, companions and experiences and I couldn't be happier. Darrell was equally relaxed and impressed with the attachments I have formed and seemed far more at ease with our current situation, than he has before; that makes me happy and my life much easier. As the sun begins to set on our relationship for another six months, I feel more secure and anchored with who I am and where I'm heading and look forward with positivity rather than apprehension. Friends are the superglue that holds me together right now, without them, life would be difficult to bear and my days in Britain far longer; without my mates my World would be a much smaller place!

On Thursday Darrell, Aunt Trisha and I went to see my Father in Fareham. The day before, he had celebrated his Birthday with my Brother and his family, so it was important for me to also see him. At 72 years old, my Father is still going strong and remarkable in many ways, especially whilst looking after Mum, as her carer for twenty years. Understandably, Dad wasn't really in the mood for celebrating this important milestone, but in my view, it is necessary to carry on as a family, in the same vein we have before.

Dad is still mourning the loss of Mum and misses her everyday. This has been the first time since her death that Darrell has had a chance to see him and presented him with a card he had written after Mum died. Both Dad and Darrell were very emotional; the words Darrell had written were extremely poignant and stirred a lot of feelings in all of us who were there at the time. Writing from the heart is a brave thing to do, especially when you don't normally express yourself in such a way, so I was also aware of the time, effort and courage needed to produce such a personal piece of writing.

Dad took us all for afternoon lunch at his favourite eatery, Titchfield Mill, where we had a superb meal and family catch up. It is good to see my Father and Aunt Trisha, his sister, once again bond as a family. These two siblings were somewhat estranged for many years, but with the death of my Grandparents and my late Mothers illness, they have started to build bridges and become close again, as Brothers and Sisters should be.

Family has become the most important aspect of my life in recent years. Without their love and support, I would have found this time, spent away from Darrell even more difficult than it already is. The only wish I have now, is to see Dad happy and content in life, as he begins the difficult task of recovering from the loss all of us have felt. As the months tick by, I will endeavour to do all I can to help facilitate my Fathers long term future and will stay firmly rooted at home with family and friends, until Darrell returns on a permanent basis and we can start where we last left off in Spain!

Today we said farewell to Jersey and the gorgeous Merton Hotel. Although we have only been here for a few short days, I think I speak for both of us, when I say, how much we have enjoyed our stay. It has been a long time since  I have felt so relaxed and calm and have found my first experience of the Channel Islands, extremely rewarding.

The Merton Hotel in St Helier was comfortable and the staff hospitable. Our stay at this family run establishment was superb; if any of you travel to Jersey, I would highly recommend a stay here. The breakfast, choice of restaurants and facilities was second to none and certainly made our stay all the more enjoyable. Nothing was too much for the staff at The Merton and without exception they accommodated our every need. When you travel somewhere new, you want to feel rested and congenial in your surroundings. The Merton Hotel offered us the best experience we could have asked for; the mark of a good hotel with a five star level of service.

Darrell went to the gym this morning for a swim and sauna, while I relaxed watching a bit of television in bed. After another great breakfast, we leisurely packed our bags and left the hotel, catching a taxi to Liberation Bus Station, where we caught the bus to the airport. Sat on the top deck once again, we were driven the short journey across the island. Sitting there, looking out the window, the rain pouring down, I was struck by the similarities to the UK and southern Britain where I live, but I was also reminded how different this place is. Quirky, charming; a shining jewel in the English Channel.

My late Grandmother, spent many happy years in Jersey and was a frequent visitor, always enjoying her stay and it's easy to see why. I did have the secure feeling I get when I am home in the United Kingdom, but I also felt like I was in a foreign country and all the excitement that goes with that.

Arriving at the small airport, I was sad to be leaving this largest Channel Island and looked forward to the day I would return, because I surely will. I don't always say that about places I visit, but Jersey really does have a special place in my heart. With my family leaving near St Helier, I now have the perfect excuse, to hop on a plane and once again say a big hello!

The plane journey back to Southampton was horrendous, I hated every minute of it. The turbulence was worse than anything I have ever experienced before and I was hanging on to the seat in front for dear life. Of course I have been on small planes before and understand the flight is very different to a large 747, travelling to Asia, but this was a nightmare for me - a frequent flyer with a fear of flying!

I have taken home some wonderful memories of my time in Jersey and spent some valuable time with my Cousins and of course my husband. We both had the few days together we needed, to keep on battling towards our goals and eventually coming back together again on a permanent basis. Thanks Jersey, for showing us, there is life after death!

Readers to Roaming Brit will be aware of my gay daughter Jamie, who lived with Darrell and I in Spain four years ago. On Saturday he travelled to Portsmouth with his partner, also called Jamie, to see Darrell, before he returns to Australia in eleven days time. It has been a while since I saw them both myself, so I was determined to enjoy the few short hours we had together.

Little Jamie was a big part of our life for many years and we spent many happy times together, growing close during a particularly challenging time in my life. Jamie was there for me through the darkest of days and helped pick me up at some terribly low points. The both of us have always got on, having a very similar sense of humour and an interest in similar activities. It was only right that Jamie came with us in 2015 to Gran Alacant, even though it didn't end well for him. As he said, 'it was an experience that made him the person he is today and he wouldn't have missed it for the World.'

We have spent a lot of time catching up with friends and family since Darrell arrived in the UK and it was amazing to include Jamie on that list. By all accounts he hasn't been having a good time recently himself, so it was wonderful to sit down and have a laugh over a few beers. This was one of those occasions where we really did start off where we left and that is important. True friendships never end, even when battling through turmoil, they just take a back seat for a while, while we get our act together and that is the story of our friendship!

Lighthearted chit chat and laughter during onerous times; just what the Doctor ordered. I felt relaxed and happy, free from the stresses of life - It's days like this that all of us need to make time for, despite how busy we are. Happiness is hours spent with those closest, when peace seems too far away; a time to savour together, a break from the furor and fray that engulfs most of our lives on a daily basis!

After the constant rain yesterday, there was a break in the deluge this morning. For the first time in many months, I actually had a few hours extra sleep, waking at a far more civilized 7am. Following a good nights sleep, I was looking forward to the day ahead. Feeling relaxed is important now, as I rapidly approach my fiftieth Birthday, I need to wind down a little from time to time, without stress, tension and most importantly anxiety, something that has become all to familiar in recent times. Spending a night with my partner, after such a long time apart, has been the tonic I have needed to carry on living, at a very difficult time.

We took a short walk from the hotel towards the bus stop in Beach Roach, catching the bus to Mount Orgueil Castle, a landmark in Jersey. This castle looks stunning from a distance, as you drive along the coast road towards this majestic outpost. Sadly the weather wasn't brilliant, but we were still able to stand and admire this building through the cloud and occasional sunshine, avoiding the rain for now.

We climbed the steps to a vantage point, looking out across to France; the views were stunning. I felt completely chilled, just standing there, thinking, contemplating and enjoying the peace and quiet, not a sound could be heard and that felt good. It's been a long time, since I have felt so untroubled; I was almost nonchalant in my repose, without a care in the World. All that mattered was hear and now and time spent with my husband, on an island that was quickly capturing my imagination!

As the weather turned sour, we took the bus from Gorey Pier, just below the castle and headed back into St Helier, where we walked around the historic streets, window shopping and visiting local attractions. It's been a while since Darrell and I have done this, probably since we both lived in Spain, so I was determined to savour the experience. St Helier was far busier than I thought it would be, but it really did have a continental feel about it, a part of the World both of us have lived in and somewhere we love to visit. Of course just over the water in France, Darrell and I used to own a small house ourselves, so flying to Jersey, really did feel like coming home!

In the evening my Cousin Phoebe picked Darrell and I up from our hotel and drove us to a eerily quiet restaurant, along the cost road to St Aubin, where for the first time ever, I sat down and met my Aunt Helen's son George, his girlfriend Tasha and of course lovely Phoebe. In truth I have met George once before, when he was a very small baby, but as my circumstances changed and life took me to very different parts of the World, I never really spent time with this side of my family, which was a real shame.

My Aunt Helen and Uncle John moved to Jersey many years ago with their young family, forging a new successful life away from the rat race in Britain. They have never looked back and are happy and content in their new life. George works on the Island and is now dating the lovely Tasha, who like Darrell and I, has travelled extensively across the World, always returning to the home she loves in Jersey. Phoebe has just finished her A levels and has singed a record deal with a leading music company. Not only does my little cousin sing beautifully, but she also writes her own music and is very talented. We listened to several of her songs and were deeply moved by the impression they left on us. I feel sure this young lady, only seventeen years old, will become the success she deserves.

As we all sat there talking, I was struck by the character of these young people, a far cry from most their age these days. All of them are secure and happy with who they are and accommodating and welcoming towards Darrell and I. We were all born in different era's from contrasting generations, but with my Aunt and Uncle away on a cruise, these guys were happy to  meet us and offer a glimpse into there idyllic Island lives; now there isn't many who would do that!

As I grow older, in the twilight of my years, I am always grateful to spend time in the company of my younger Cousins, both here, Portsmouth where I live or in my home town of Fareham. At one time, our little Hampshire family was the biggest in the County, but as time has moved on, our once inordinate menage has become scattered across the World, just like Phoebe and George, leaving smaller links to the past in their wake.

Meeting my extended family unit was the highlight of my trip to Jersey. These are two incredibly talented and well brought up youngsters, who I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with. Of course it would be amazing to come back to this largest of Channel Islands, since our family connection goes back a very long way, but with my life the way it is and Darrell living on the other side of the World, it does make it difficult to navigate these British Isles as much as we would like. Nevertheless, I would hope to return soon and start once again where we left off!