On Tuesday we celebrated Darrell's Birthday, a few days before he left for Australia once again. My Aunt had booked a table at The Noble House Restaurant in Southsea. This is a place I haven't been to before, but have heard good things about, so was looking forward to a wonderful evening.

Everyone met at The Newcome Arms at 7pm; the pub was packed with Portsmouth fans. With Pompey playing at home, the bar was busier than I had seen it in a long time, but we found somewhere to stand and enjoyed the charged atmosphere, along with everyone else. Despite my dislike of football, I have become rather fond of football days, working at The Newcome, so being on the other side of the bar, made a pleasant change.

Darrell met many of those I now regard as friends and was able to say goodbye to the regulars he had met during his stay.  I am honoured to have had the the opportunity to meet the numerous personalities who frequent this popular public house, because they are a large part of my life and have been generous in welcoming me to their local community, a community I feel a big part of. Darrell has also found the nature of everyone, including my Aunts long standing friends, who joined us at Noble house, refreshingly open and embracing, one of the reasons I love living in Portsmouth.

After a few early evening drinks, we arrived at this highly recommended restaurant and without exception, the food was first class. I am not the biggest fan of Chinese food but the experience I had there, could very well change my mind. At a cost of twenty two pounds a head, including drinks, the price was pretty reasonable too; this is a place I will certainly be visiting again!

The following morning we went for a day out at Gunwharf Quays. Like most of November, the rain was pouring down, but that didn't detract from Darrell's last day in Britain. Pat had travelled down from Wiltshire, to also spend the day with us. It has been many years since Darrell last saw her and they had much to catch up on. It was great to do 'normal' things, mooching around the shops and having a spot of lunch at The Slug and Lettuce. This has been the best aspect of having Darrell home over the past month, just doing what we used to do, before our life was turned upside down.

Spending time with family, positively, celebrating Darrell's 47th Birthday has been a joy. Even when we were living together in the UK or Spain, we rarely saw family, so this year, Darrell's Birthday was all the more important. My Aunt and Cousin's have welcomed him into their lives, just like the community in which I live and that is something neither of us are really used to. People often ask me why I take a lot of photographs, especially of people I see everyday, but they really don't understand just how important family is to me these days. These are relations I didn't see for many years and without their love and support, my life would be so much more difficult.

A few hours, walking in the pouring rain with my two Aunty Pats and Cousin's Emmy and Thomas, is worth all the tea in China. I will look back on this day out as an important milestone in my life, rather than just another day to be forgotten about. Most people take occasions like this for granted - I don't! Precious memories are few and far between as I grow older; I want to remember the good times, to help me get through the bad!

Darrell left for Singapore and Australia on Thursday, after a month away from home. We have both become used to the nature of our relationship and always make the most of the time we have together. This month has seen a mixture of emotions - laughter, tears, anger and happiness, but through every twist and turn we have grown stronger as a couple. Darrell isn't used to just how big my family is and has found it difficult adjusting to life surrounded by Aunt's, Uncles and Cousins, yes plenty of Cousins, but over the weeks he has started to understand the importance of family. It has been a very difficult road getting here; my strained and at times acrimonious connection with my kinfolk has turned full circle and life is far better now than it ever has been. Of course Darrell is a part of that family and like me, he is just beginning to discover his place in it!

As I once again bid farewell to my husband, for another six months, I am mindful of the continual battles ahead. By the time I see Darrell again, I will have reached the grand old age of 49, a year closer to death as they say. Neither of us are getting any younger and we have to start thinking about the direction our life is travelling in, as we reach the beginnings of old age. Coming back together as a couple is a pressing priority; with the death of my Mother I am now happier to move from the UK once again and am looking forward to a future away from a decade of misadventure, impediment and pain!

This is Darrell's last week in Britain, before he flies home to Perth on Thursday, so he has been trying to see as many friends as he can before he leaves. Darrell and I have made many friendships over the years, so seeing everyone is just an impossible task. The ones who could be bothered and had the time, travelled to Portsmouth to see Darrell, which has taken the pressure off him and I travelling to see them. I lead a very busy life and have little time to do anything else but work!

On Saturday Chris and Sam came to say goodbye to Darrell for another year. They were regular visitors to our home for many years and often popped in to say hi when we lived in Southampton. I have of course seen Chris many times since we returned from Spain, but not Sam. This was the first time I had seen him since 2015 and this young lad has grown up a lot since then.

It remains important to stay in contact with many of those we have known since we got together 24 years ago and both of us do try to see as many friends as we can. Life may well have taken us in different directions, but the bond all of us share is still there. I have had many people come and go from my life and the truth is, I am a very difficult person to understand and get to know, but a few have stuck around long enough to know the real me - Sam and Chris are just two of them.

Last night I dragged Darrell out with me and a couple of close friends from the supermarket where I work. Our mutual friend Paul also came along and we had a fantastic night, with lots of laughs.

I haven't had much to laugh about recently, having been constantly ill, so it's nights like last night that have become important. Letting ones hair down, having a few drinks with mates and spending quality time together is just what the Doctor ordered and I finally sat back, relaxed and enjoyed myself.

The people I have met, since returning to the UK have been a tremendous source of support in recent times and I feel like I have known them for many years.  Those I am close to now are very different to those I was acquainted with in the past and have given me an insight into a World, that I rarely saw otherwise. As a gay man my life was centred around the gay community and I had very few 'straight' mates. Today I much prefer the company of my hetrosexual peers, finding them more honest and trustworthy, without an agenda. Also the friends I have are of a similar age, unlike the younger age group we tended to gravitate towards ten years ago. We have far more in common, enjoy the same things, taste in music and conversations. Above all I live life at a more sedate pace these days, which suits my general disposition, as I grow older. I am an oldie now, in every respect and enjoy the activities us older people enjoy. This is a time where I am finally comfortable in my own skin.

I am grateful for the friendships I have and for the memories I am making everyday. This is a new chapter in my life, filled with new comrades, companions and experiences and I couldn't be happier. Darrell was equally relaxed and impressed with the attachments I have formed and seemed far more at ease with our current situation, than he has before; that makes me happy and my life much easier. As the sun begins to set on our relationship for another six months, I feel more secure and anchored with who I am and where I'm heading and look forward with positivity rather than apprehension. Friends are the superglue that holds me together right now, without them, life would be difficult to bear and my days in Britain far longer; without my mates my World would be a much smaller place!

On Thursday Darrell, Aunt Trisha and I went to see my Father in Fareham. The day before, he had celebrated his Birthday with my Brother and his family, so it was important for me to also see him. At 72 years old, my Father is still going strong and remarkable in many ways, especially whilst looking after Mum, as her carer for twenty years. Understandably, Dad wasn't really in the mood for celebrating this important milestone, but in my view, it is necessary to carry on as a family, in the same vein we have before.

Dad is still mourning the loss of Mum and misses her everyday. This has been the first time since her death that Darrell has had a chance to see him and presented him with a card he had written after Mum died. Both Dad and Darrell were very emotional; the words Darrell had written were extremely poignant and stirred a lot of feelings in all of us who were there at the time. Writing from the heart is a brave thing to do, especially when you don't normally express yourself in such a way, so I was also aware of the time, effort and courage needed to produce such a personal piece of writing.

Dad took us all for afternoon lunch at his favourite eatery, Titchfield Mill, where we had a superb meal and family catch up. It is good to see my Father and Aunt Trisha, his sister, once again bond as a family. These two siblings were somewhat estranged for many years, but with the death of my Grandparents and my late Mothers illness, they have started to build bridges and become close again, as Brothers and Sisters should be.

Family has become the most important aspect of my life in recent years. Without their love and support, I would have found this time, spent away from Darrell even more difficult than it already is. The only wish I have now, is to see Dad happy and content in life, as he begins the difficult task of recovering from the loss all of us have felt. As the months tick by, I will endeavour to do all I can to help facilitate my Fathers long term future and will stay firmly rooted at home with family and friends, until Darrell returns on a permanent basis and we can start where we last left off in Spain!

Today we said farewell to Jersey and the gorgeous Merton Hotel. Although we have only been here for a few short days, I think I speak for both of us, when I say, how much we have enjoyed our stay. It has been a long time since  I have felt so relaxed and calm and have found my first experience of the Channel Islands, extremely rewarding.

The Merton Hotel in St Helier was comfortable and the staff hospitable. Our stay at this family run establishment was superb; if any of you travel to Jersey, I would highly recommend a stay here. The breakfast, choice of restaurants and facilities was second to none and certainly made our stay all the more enjoyable. Nothing was too much for the staff at The Merton and without exception they accommodated our every need. When you travel somewhere new, you want to feel rested and congenial in your surroundings. The Merton Hotel offered us the best experience we could have asked for; the mark of a good hotel with a five star level of service.

Darrell went to the gym this morning for a swim and sauna, while I relaxed watching a bit of television in bed. After another great breakfast, we leisurely packed our bags and left the hotel, catching a taxi to Liberation Bus Station, where we caught the bus to the airport. Sat on the top deck once again, we were driven the short journey across the island. Sitting there, looking out the window, the rain pouring down, I was struck by the similarities to the UK and southern Britain where I live, but I was also reminded how different this place is. Quirky, charming; a shining jewel in the English Channel.

My late Grandmother, spent many happy years in Jersey and was a frequent visitor, always enjoying her stay and it's easy to see why. I did have the secure feeling I get when I am home in the United Kingdom, but I also felt like I was in a foreign country and all the excitement that goes with that.

Arriving at the small airport, I was sad to be leaving this largest Channel Island and looked forward to the day I would return, because I surely will. I don't always say that about places I visit, but Jersey really does have a special place in my heart. With my family leaving near St Helier, I now have the perfect excuse, to hop on a plane and once again say a big hello!

The plane journey back to Southampton was horrendous, I hated every minute of it. The turbulence was worse than anything I have ever experienced before and I was hanging on to the seat in front for dear life. Of course I have been on small planes before and understand the flight is very different to a large 747, travelling to Asia, but this was a nightmare for me - a frequent flyer with a fear of flying!

I have taken home some wonderful memories of my time in Jersey and spent some valuable time with my Cousins and of course my husband. We both had the few days together we needed, to keep on battling towards our goals and eventually coming back together again on a permanent basis. Thanks Jersey, for showing us, there is life after death!

Readers to Roaming Brit will be aware of my gay daughter Jamie, who lived with Darrell and I in Spain four years ago. On Saturday he travelled to Portsmouth with his partner, also called Jamie, to see Darrell, before he returns to Australia in eleven days time. It has been a while since I saw them both myself, so I was determined to enjoy the few short hours we had together.

Little Jamie was a big part of our life for many years and we spent many happy times together, growing close during a particularly challenging time in my life. Jamie was there for me through the darkest of days and helped pick me up at some terribly low points. The both of us have always got on, having a very similar sense of humour and an interest in similar activities. It was only right that Jamie came with us in 2015 to Gran Alacant, even though it didn't end well for him. As he said, 'it was an experience that made him the person he is today and he wouldn't have missed it for the World.'

We have spent a lot of time catching up with friends and family since Darrell arrived in the UK and it was amazing to include Jamie on that list. By all accounts he hasn't been having a good time recently himself, so it was wonderful to sit down and have a laugh over a few beers. This was one of those occasions where we really did start off where we left and that is important. True friendships never end, even when battling through turmoil, they just take a back seat for a while, while we get our act together and that is the story of our friendship!

Lighthearted chit chat and laughter during onerous times; just what the Doctor ordered. I felt relaxed and happy, free from the stresses of life - It's days like this that all of us need to make time for, despite how busy we are. Happiness is hours spent with those closest, when peace seems too far away; a time to savour together, a break from the furor and fray that engulfs most of our lives on a daily basis!

After the constant rain yesterday, there was a break in the deluge this morning. For the first time in many months, I actually had a few hours extra sleep, waking at a far more civilized 7am. Following a good nights sleep, I was looking forward to the day ahead. Feeling relaxed is important now, as I rapidly approach my fiftieth Birthday, I need to wind down a little from time to time, without stress, tension and most importantly anxiety, something that has become all to familiar in recent times. Spending a night with my partner, after such a long time apart, has been the tonic I have needed to carry on living, at a very difficult time.

We took a short walk from the hotel towards the bus stop in Beach Roach, catching the bus to Mount Orgueil Castle, a landmark in Jersey. This castle looks stunning from a distance, as you drive along the coast road towards this majestic outpost. Sadly the weather wasn't brilliant, but we were still able to stand and admire this building through the cloud and occasional sunshine, avoiding the rain for now.

We climbed the steps to a vantage point, looking out across to France; the views were stunning. I felt completely chilled, just standing there, thinking, contemplating and enjoying the peace and quiet, not a sound could be heard and that felt good. It's been a long time, since I have felt so untroubled; I was almost nonchalant in my repose, without a care in the World. All that mattered was hear and now and time spent with my husband, on an island that was quickly capturing my imagination!

As the weather turned sour, we took the bus from Gorey Pier, just below the castle and headed back into St Helier, where we walked around the historic streets, window shopping and visiting local attractions. It's been a while since Darrell and I have done this, probably since we both lived in Spain, so I was determined to savour the experience. St Helier was far busier than I thought it would be, but it really did have a continental feel about it, a part of the World both of us have lived in and somewhere we love to visit. Of course just over the water in France, Darrell and I used to own a small house ourselves, so flying to Jersey, really did feel like coming home!

In the evening my Cousin Phoebe picked Darrell and I up from our hotel and drove us to a eerily quiet restaurant, along the cost road to St Aubin, where for the first time ever, I sat down and met my Aunt Helen's son George, his girlfriend Tasha and of course lovely Phoebe. In truth I have met George once before, when he was a very small baby, but as my circumstances changed and life took me to very different parts of the World, I never really spent time with this side of my family, which was a real shame.

My Aunt Helen and Uncle John moved to Jersey many years ago with their young family, forging a new successful life away from the rat race in Britain. They have never looked back and are happy and content in their new life. George works on the Island and is now dating the lovely Tasha, who like Darrell and I, has travelled extensively across the World, always returning to the home she loves in Jersey. Phoebe has just finished her A levels and has singed a record deal with a leading music company. Not only does my little cousin sing beautifully, but she also writes her own music and is very talented. We listened to several of her songs and were deeply moved by the impression they left on us. I feel sure this young lady, only seventeen years old, will become the success she deserves.

As we all sat there talking, I was struck by the character of these young people, a far cry from most their age these days. All of them are secure and happy with who they are and accommodating and welcoming towards Darrell and I. We were all born in different era's from contrasting generations, but with my Aunt and Uncle away on a cruise, these guys were happy to  meet us and offer a glimpse into there idyllic Island lives; now there isn't many who would do that!

As I grow older, in the twilight of my years, I am always grateful to spend time in the company of my younger Cousins, both here, Portsmouth where I live or in my home town of Fareham. At one time, our little Hampshire family was the biggest in the County, but as time has moved on, our once inordinate menage has become scattered across the World, just like Phoebe and George, leaving smaller links to the past in their wake.

Meeting my extended family unit was the highlight of my trip to Jersey. These are two incredibly talented and well brought up youngsters, who I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with. Of course it would be amazing to come back to this largest of Channel Islands, since our family connection goes back a very long way, but with my life the way it is and Darrell living on the other side of the World, it does make it difficult to navigate these British Isles as much as we would like. Nevertheless, I would hope to return soon and start once again where we left off!

In June I was due to visit family in the Channel Islands, on the island of Jersey, but I pulled out due to a short lived illness. The Merton Hotel, where I was due to stay in St Helier, allowed me to rebook the hotel for November when Darrell arrived from Australia. This is highly unusual, that a hotel would allow someone to change the date of their booking, at no extra cost, especially at such short notice - of course I wasn't complaining; it allowed Darrell and I some valuable time together, away from the pressure of daily life.

We caught the train to Southampton airport, just a few miles down the road from Portsmouth, a regional airport, that really does take the hassle out of flying. There are no queues or hoards of people and the whole process of catching a flight couldn't be easier. This is an airport we have used many times before, especially when we used to fly to our home in Alicante, avoiding the traditional crush at London airports. After a quick coffee at Costa, bacon roll and cup of green tea,  we were quickly ushered through customs; wham bam, all done in half an hour!

As a person who hates flying, I really wasn't looking forward to the thirty minute flight on board the small Blue Islands plane. After flying on a slightly bigger airplane in Cambodia, I was well aware of what to expect in such a confined cabin. You can feel every bump in the sky, every piece of turbulence and each rush of air that passes by as you head towards your destination. However for the most part, the flight was good and trouble free, just a little turbulence at the end of our journey as we descended towards the Island of Jersey!

We took the number 15 bus from the airport, to the capital St Helier. At a cost of two pounds the trip was cheap enough and the half hour drive along the rugged Jersey coast line was pretty smooth and wonderfully picturesque, as we sat on the top deck, watching the scenery pass by. The rain was falling, which was pretty much what we expected and the sun did make an appearance on occasion, just to make us feel like we were on holiday, no matter how short the duration!

After arriving at 'Liberation Bus Station,' we caught a taxi to the Merton Hotel, a short distance away. When you take a cab in Jersey, remember to take one of the yellow topped vehicles. Prices are strictly regulated and controlled, so you can be sure you are not paying over the odds for your journey. Darrell and I paid a few pounds for the rather pleasant ride, well worth the extra expense, avoiding walking around the city in the pouring rain.

After unpacking, umbrella in hand, we took a leisurely twenty minute walk into the city centre, taking in the sites and admiring the statue in Liberation Square, to commemorate the 50th anniversary in 1995, since the end of Nazi occupation and the end of the Second World War. This beautiful place is steeped in history, around every corner and down every small lane. With a distinctly French feel, it was a relaxing setting to explore. The mix of English and French can be a little confusing at times, but it makes for a unique destination, one I instantly fell in love with!

We had an early dinner at our favourite pizza restuarant, Pizza Express, where we were served by a rather pretentious Frenchman, who clearly thought himself more superior than the customers he was serving. There are a lot of French nationals working on the island it seems, bus drivers and shop workers, just two professions where we noticed a predominance of foreign workers. Well, when you work in a tax haven, where wages are high, why wouldn't you travel to this Channel Island to find work?

On the way back to the Merton Hotel, I popped into the Cancer Research shop, where I met  the lovely Manager. I wanted to get a picture of her with Clayborne, the Cancer Reserch teddy, who accompanies me on my travels across the World. I suppose for Clayborne, this was a bit of a homecoming, rather like it was for me. Much of my family come from the Channel Islands and with my Aunt Helen, husband John and there children currently living near St Helier, this was most certainly a place to call home, a special part of the British Isles!

Darrell has arrived back in the UK for a month long visit, before flying back to be with his Mother at the end of November. He landed at Heathrow Airport on Friday, after a mammoth twenty hours of flying - not his favourite pastime these days!

Darrell and I haven't seen one another for six months now, since we met in ASIA and it was wonderful to be together again. We hope to spend time, relaxing, travelling a little and celebrating his Birthday at the end of the month. These times are important for us, as we continue the difficult journey we are on. With the death of my Mother in October this year, it is now paramount that Darrell spends as much time as he can with his Mum. Losing a loved one is hard and as I look back, even after only a short time, I wish I had had more time with my Mother - something I will never be able to change.

Thank you to everyone for sending their good wishes for our time together, they always mean a lot to us. On Tuesday, we leave for a short break in the Channel Islands and I will of course keep readers to 'Roaming Brit' updated on our adventure!

Today my partner and husband Darrell is celebrating his Birthday, at home in Australia. It is difficult being away from the person you love, especially at times of celebration, so today I thought I would speak briefly about our life together.

We met each other in 1995, whist Darrell was back packing around the UK, initially staying with friends in Newbury and later moving to Southampton. At first I didn't get on with this arrogant Ozzie and we rarely spoke, but gradually over time, we both became friends and later partners. When our relationship began twenty three years ago, we both ran away to Australia with just the clothes on our backs, establishing our relationship together. These were carefree, innocent times, happy days spent at first in London staying in the worst of hotels, with the happiest of memories, before we caught our flight to Perth, and finally Australia itself, a world away from the life I left behind!

We travelled from one side of the World to the other for a few years, eventually settling in Britain. I personally found it very difficult to adjust to Australian life and for twenty years we lived relatively happily in the UK. I say relatively, because our life was never really normal from the get go. Fighting successive Governments, to allow Darrell and I to remain together in the UK on a permanent basis, became a common aspect of our life. Deportation orders, Judicial Reviews and appeals to the Home Office, together with a change of Prime minister, eventually allowed us to stay together unhindered in 2001, after six years of battling.

During those 'bipolarcoaster' years we put much of our life on hold, unable to follow the careers we wanted, because of rules that prevented us from doing so. Both of us drifted from job to job, surviving and enjoying our new found freedoms. A combination of lifestyle and bullying, eventually opened the door for us to follow a new life in Spain. If we thought we battled in Britain, Spain was an altogether more intense period of hardship. The majority of the three years we spent living abroad we lived apart, as Darrell flew to and from Australia caring for his Mother, who was diagnosed with cancer a few months after our arrival.

We fought hard to stay in Spain, Darrell eventually obtaining his right to remain there, after returning indelibly in May 2017. For a while life was good; Darrell worked at Alicante Airport driving and I worked for a bar in Gran Alacant. This brief period of contentment didn't last like most things in our life, after the Spanish authorities threatened to remove his EU license, due to his Australian nationality. At this point we both decided enough was enough and I returned to the UK. Darrell remained in Spain to finish his employment contract and I began the process of reconnecting with family, after my Mother also fell seriously ill.

After four months Darrell returned to the UK before flying  to Australia to care for his ailing Mother, leaving me firmly rooted in Portsmouth, living with family, while my Mum also battles illness. We are both once again living apart for reasons beyond our control, but the enduring strength of longevity ensures we are very much a couple still, and will always be so.

As Darrell celebrates his Birthday with family in Australia, we are more self aware and comfortable with who we are than we ever have been. From a relationship that saw us together 24/7 for our first twenty years together,  to our current circumstances, forging our own unique ways in life independently, for now. The sense of achievement and satisfaction at our forbearance as a couple is palpable; I am proud of us and looking forward to a future that was born from adversity. We will survive because we have to, we are the sum of our own experiences because we have learned to, and we have a history behind us that dictates who we have become.

The milestones in our life our many, the journey is not yet over and I am looking forward to many more happy years together. Happy Birthday Darrell, all my love! x

Chris stayed with us in Portsmouth this weekend, cooking us a meal on Sunday evening before he left this morning. It was nice to just sit down and relax for a bit, watch a bit of television and chat with a bottle of wine. Chris will not be seeing Darrell for quite a while now, if at all, so it was important they spent time together. I suppose you could call them best friends; he has been in our life for a very long time, through good times and bad. Chris has promised to come and see me once a month at least, while I am here and may come to Australia with me when I go for a holiday in March!

to say that the Managers and volunteers working in this shop, have been extremely welcoming and have taken Darrell under their wing; this has helped rebuild his trust in the charitable sector; not all organisations are the same after all. Building up a rapport with such a dedicated bunch has been easy for him; there were no barriers to break down, distasteful behaviour or bullying that he experienced elsewhere. The people at Commercial Road are a joy to spend time with; I know they are going to miss him terribly, as I will of course.

Typically now, I have a busy few days ahead, at the very time I should be spending more time with Darrell, but that is just a fact of life. At least I have been able to spend quality time with my husband over the last four weeks. It would have been nice to have a longer period together, but commitments are calling from opposite sides of the World.

I was talking to a lovely lady at work today about our situation; she seems to be in a very similar situation. Her husband lives away from her in Italy working, while she resides in Portsmouth. Like us, the situation isn't ideal, but they make it work for each other. There are many different types of relationships in this World and for us this is just a new phase in our rather turbulent life. I am looking forward to the challenges of the next few months, I have a lot of opportunities ahead of me, as I try and establish my credentials as a British resident once again. Darrell also has a lot of building to do as he once again navigates Australian life. As our paths once again begin to diverge, we can both look forward to a more interesting, energizing and enlightening time in the future; our experiences now with prepare us for the journey ahead!