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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Revisiting The Past From Afar!

5/3/2023

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PictureMe and Lee circa 1976
I've been away from the UK for six months now, and I often think of home. Understandably, I am not missing that little island in the North Sea in the traditional sense; I literally can't stand what Britain has become, and that is a bit of a shock for me. I feel a little bit detached from the memories I made over the years, the people who were a part of my life and most importantly the childhood that made me the person I am today.

There are many aspects of my childhood I didn't like; coming of age in a small provincial market town on the south coast of England, was not a barrel of laughs, especially during the 1980s. However, the good outweighed the bad, and there is much more that resonates fondly with me, than not, even today in my fifties. Yes, I did have my problems, but in the main my recollections are of happy times, full of laughter, surrounded by friends and loved ones. Enjoying lazy, long summer days, we played outside until the sun went down, and the street lights came on.

I have written a lot about my childhood throughout this blog. 'Short Stories From My Youth,' documents my early years, as a small boy finding my way in the World. Living thousands of miles away in Australia, I often think of my roots, even though I would rather forget the more challenging aspects of an era that certainly wasn't easy.

Relocating to Australia in the past was difficult; during the 1990s there wasn't the access to internet as there is today and staying in contact with friends and family was hard. I became extremely lonely and withdrawn and returned to the UK relatively quickly, when in reality I should have stayed; how amazing my life would be today if I had remained in Perth back then. Today I am reliving that original journey, only this time with enthusiasm and determination. Most importantly, I am in constant contact with people back home, and that is keeping me here, sane and content.

As I child I lived in a social housing complex on the edge of the south coast town of Fareham, a short walk from my families village of Titchfield. I have mainly positive memories from my time living here and most importantly, I was never lonely. Nashe House, as it was called, was filled with young families and children of the same age. My next door neighbour, Lee, was my closest friend at the time, and we would often play together outside. Our front doors were always left open, we were in and out of each other's flat all day; the community of which we were all apart was welcoming, giving and always there to give support when needed. None of us were rich, this was the 1970s, after all. What little we had, we gave gladly, and there was a sense of belonging in a way that doesn't exist today.

My old next door neighbour Lee has been in constant contact since I moved to Australia, and for that I am truly grateful. He has messaged consistently, and we often talk about the lives we once shared, a lifetime ago. Lee is a link to the past that I wouldn't otherwise have, and he has helped me adjust to Australian life, just by knowing he is there, echoing the memories we made together as children. His friendship has been instrumental in keeping me grounded and focused, as I restart my life in Australia, and that is something I am truly grateful for.

Let me be honest, I haven't kept in contact with many people since leaving school; I had very few good friends at that time, and if anything I was glad to walk away through the school gate on that final day. It is only because of the advent of social media, that I have managed to interact with school friends and those I lived with in Nashe House. Had I been born even a few years before, I am not entirely sure if I would be in contact with anyone from that period today. For that reason, Facebook, Instagram and the like have helped me communicate with those I would have ordinarily lost contact with.

Lee's Mum still lives in the neighbourhood, and he visits her often. To be honest, I wish I had spent more time with my Mother before she died, but we can always look back with hindsight and think 'what if?' Last week, he visited his Mum as usual and sent me photographs of the community, I used to call home. Apart from a brief visit, I haven't been there in many years, and it brought back so many memories, seeing it, as it is today.


When I was a child, everything seemed so big. The block of flats where I lived appeared vast; I remember looking up to the balcony above our front door, head spinning, feeling dizzy, at the sheer height of the 70s brick structure above. Just outside our small front garden, the dedicated washing area, where residents hung their clothes to dry, was an arena to play and make memories. The rolling green fields of the school opposite flowed infinitely down to the old railway bridge, where I used to forage for blackberries with Mum and Dad as a child. The surrounding houses and shops, offered a chance to explore, finding new hiding places, adventures and journey's to fulfil.

This was a time of wonderment and finding my place in the World, but it was also a period to push boundaries and see just how far I could go. As children, we were always looking to towards each new day with enthusiasm and awe. Without a care in the World, life flowed like water off a ducks back.

Lee's photographs conjured up an explosion of nostalgia and remembrance. Reflections of an innocent time, free from stress and worry, came flooding back. Laid bare before me, were photographs of my juvenescence, forty-five years in the future. I vaguely remember different scenarios related to these modern day digital photographs, but I don't recognise the run down nature of a neighbourhood that used to be so well-kept and looked after.

Lee and I grew up at a time before technology, before mobile phones and computers; we used our imaginations, rather than websites and search engines and enjoyed an outdoor life, going from neighbour to neighbour. There was no fear or hate towards the residents in our locality, just respect, regard and recognition towards our extended family next door. This was the decade before the 'rot set in,' and all of us lived happily side by side. This is the part of Britain I miss every day, but wherever I live in the World, those sentimental, wistful anecdotes will always be a product of the past. I can recall these narratives in my home town or my adopted home of Perth, it just takes a friend like Lee to jog the old grey matter occasionally.

I am glad to have grown up when I did, at a less complicated, more simpler time. The people who remained in my life were the important ones. Happily, I am in contact with my old childhood friend Lee during a period of great upheaval, when I need his words more than at any other time. As I adjust to life down under, it is good to know my past still plays a part in my future direction; without retrospection and foresight, I would surely make the same mistakes again!

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Settling into Expat life, in Gran Alacant!

5/1/2023

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Walking down Heart Attack Hill!
We had a house full of furniture and two cats to bring from the UK, to our new home in Gran Alacant.  The easiest option for us, was for Jamie and me to fly from Southampton Airport and for Darrell and close friend Dale to drive from Britain, down through France, into Spain and onto the Costa Blanca; two days in a van with me, Darrell and the cats, was likely to end in bloodshed otherwise.

This was a journey that took Dale and Darrell several days to complete. In France, halfway through the journey, they stopped at a cat friendly hotel and rested as long as they could, before completing the journey. When they arrived, it was a frantic few days of unpacking, before Darrell dropped off the van in Alicante, and we could finally start to live our lives, far away from the troubles of the past.

Sitting in the tiny lounge, surrounded by boxes, slightly shivering on a cold February day, I remember how happy I was to finally be away from Britain. Our last few months there were not the best, and Spain was just the new start all of us needed. None of us knew the area at all, so once Dale had left for the UK, the three of us began to explore our new home of Gran Alacant.

The 'Rehab,' or 'Recovery train,' (recovering from life in The UK) was our first venture into this quiet urbanisation. This miniature train, on wheels, would circumnavigate Gran Alacant several times a day, and we could hop on and off as and when we liked. After a particularly wobbly walk down Heart Attack Hill, to Molly Malone's Irish Pub, the first pub we visited in GA and one of our favourite haunts, We caught the train, just outside the bar and travelled the short distance to the Centro Commercial. This modern town had everything you could need, including several supermarkets, Mercadona and Lidl, the obligatory tobacconist, where I would by my Mojito flavoured cigarettes at 4.35€ a packet, half the price they were in the UK, and of course plenty of bars and restaurants.

Barloko, as it was named then, was situated at the top of the main shopping centre and during our first few weeks we went there several times. We hadn't yet found our own neighbourhood local, Sierra Mar, which was actually hidden away in a small gated community, down the bottom of a rather steep incline, a few minutes from our house in Calle Canarias.

At Barloko, or Roger's bar as we liked to call it, we met many of the locals at this popular venue and of course the amazing Roger himself, who was always a friendly face, even when things weren't going our way. He would often sit and chat with us, explain a bit about Gran Alacant and help us find our way around. Roger is one of those characters you just can't forget, and it was always lovely to see him.

We also spent a lot of time in Alicante itself, just a forty-five-minute bus journey away. This cultured city, full to bursting with architectural wonders, a beautiful castle and our favourite part, the marina, was just what we needed to get over the UK. It was a World away from the drudgery of Britain and even in winter, we could sit in our preferred venue of choice, 'Soho Mar,' just passing the time of day, forgetting our worries and feeling every bit like we were on holiday.

Of course, we weren't on vacation, we were there to start a new life in the sun and by the beginning of March, it was time to start building a future, and looking for work in Gran Alacant.

Out of the three of us, I was the first person to find a job in GA, at 'The Easy Horse Care' Charity shop in Plaza Mayor, at the bottom of Heart Attack Hill, a fifteen-minute walk from Carabassi. I worked several days a week and was paid a small wage to keep me going while I looked for something more permanent. The charity did what it said on the tin, rescuing horses and donkeys in the local area; this magnificent shop, consisting of furniture on one level and clothing above, was my first real foray into the neighbourhood of Gran Alacant. At first, I was a bit dubious about taking on the position, after my bad experience working for a charity in the UK, but my reluctance soon passed, as I made friends, worked hard and began to integrate into a community that welcomed me with open arms.

The Charity shop opened my eyes to the well established Expat community, and it wasn't long before I began to venture out more and more. Sierra Mar, was a short walk from my house on the hill, so I wandered down to this friendly square whenever I had the chance. It wasn't long before 'Zest,' a newly opened bar, became my second home. Lee and Brett were the perfect hosts and always welcoming, as were Steve and Paul behind the bar. Along with Aunty Pam, who cooked the best comfort food and was always free for a hug or two, they soon became akin to family in Spain; these were familiar faces in an unfamiliar World. When confronted with a new beginning, it is important to find your niche, somewhere to feel relaxed and at home and for me at least, Zest was it.

It wasn't long before I got to know the locals and when Darrell was called away to Australia, a few months after we arrived, these were the people that got me through. Darrell's Mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2016, and although we didn't know it then, our time would be cut short in Spain because of her illness. With Darrell travelling back and forth to Perth, I made the best of a bad situation. Settling into life in Gran Alacant was the most important factor, in me staying there for as long as I did. Had it not been for my Mother in law's illness, in all probability we would still be there now.

Of course, part of settling into a new neighbourhood is establishing lasting friendships. Luckily I met long term friends Andy and Katie, who lived just around the corner from me and then there was Paul and Michelle, who were instrumental in making me feel a part of their lives, especially when Darrell wasn't there. It is true to say I went into myself a lot more and became very withdrawn at times, but when you see your dream ebbing away, it is all you can do to cope with the changing landscape.

Gran Alacant was an easy place to settle down, it had everything I ever wanted and more - people I cared about, a community of like-minded individuals, helpful friends and local residents, and the perfect location on the Costa Blanca that worked for us. It wasn't in the throng of Benidorm, it offered a more relaxed place to live, but with a busy social scene that came into its own, especially at night, making you feel you were actually somewhere bigger. With so many nationalities living in one place, it was the best choice for us, and I am so glad we lived there, even if it was for only a few years. The memories I made, and the friends I still have today, are a tribute to the place I was honoured to call home, and a fitting homage to the Expat community who looked out for me, in a way nobody had done before!

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That's All Folks!

1/9/2022

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Cancer Research


Tesco


Newcome Arms

Well Thursday really was an emotional day, as I said farewell to friends and colleagues from Tesco, The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research - all places I have worked since my return to Portsmouth from Spain in 2018. To say leaving Portsmouth, even for a year, will be an enormous wrench is somewhat of an understatement. Emotions really have been running high for me, as I have said my goodbyes to some fantastic friends. I am not a person who cries easily, so Thursday just showed me how lucky I am, having made some wonderful memories with some truly amazing characters; the tears did flow briefly, as I said one last au revoir to everyone who has played an important role in my life over the last four years. In the main, however, they were tears of happiness, as bonds were cemented, and I realised these were friends for life, wherever I am in the World.

In many respects, this week has been a Godsend. Realising I was finally about to leave the UK on the trip of a lifetime, I started to relax and enjoy the final few days here in Portsmouth. With only two days left, I am content with the choice I have made and look forward to the future. It has also been a hard seven days, having to wear a mask at work and keep my distance as much as possible, as I prepare for the long flight to Australia. Having been planning this journey for about six weeks, I have become drained and run down from all the preparation. It has been hard getting to this point, but the days of Darrell and I, spontaneously getting up and going, are well and truly over; this is the adventure of a lifetime, and it has to be done right.

So many people have wanted to say goodbye, that we have been living an emotional tight rope for a while now. Ever since I announced I was taking a lifestyle break from work, I have had so many colleagues asking to spend time with us, that I have been taken aback. A year really is a long time, and Darrell and I realise how important it is to connect with those close before we go. I hope to be back in twelve months, but who knows what will happen.

Apart from going to see my Father, that really is it, the end of our time in the UK for a while. Our life will now consist of traversing the World, experiencing new cultures and living out of a suitcase. This isn't everyone's cup of tea; travelling isn't always glamorous, it does have its downsides. We will be away from family and friends for an extended period and unable to enjoy that one to one interaction, that I so adore. I am a social animal first and want that close contact, on a one to one basis, but I am also someone who needs to explore, looking for answers and reaching out for new and inspiring experiences. It is a choice to travel for most, but for us, it is a way of life, that we haven't experienced for a very long time, since 2019. This is a time of great excitement, but also of trepidation and nervousness.

As I sat on the checkouts completing my last shift on Wednesday, ironically training a new member of staff, on the very till I was first trained on nearly four and a half years previously, a colleague approached and tapped me on the shoulder. Whispering in my ear, she told me a customer, who had become close over the years, had died that very morning. Her sister wanted to come over and see me before I left. This dear lady spoke so eloquently of her sister's last moments, ending by saying, she had hoped 'I had already left on my travels,' because of how difficult it was to tell me of her sister Pats passing. An emotional day, had just become even more emotional, and I was left feeling rather empty after the news. As someone who believes in fate, I truly believe this was meant to be and gave me the green light to leave Fratton, embarking on a new but thought-provoking journey.

So many friends and colleagues have signed cards and given me small gifts and tokens of friendship to take with me. I have been overwhelmed by their generosity and care, and moved by the words they have said. One of my closest colleagues gave me a compass, reminding me, that wherever I was in the World, she would 'find me.' She, like so many others, will always be a part of my life, and I am so happy to have met her and everyone else. My closest friend Jules gave me a beautiful card, (below) and 'Tree of Life' pendant, signifying, according to him, my independence, uniqueness and family bonds. In all but name he is the Brother I never had, and this gift will always link us together, as both of us go our separate ways for now.

From my job at Tesco, I went to The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research, where I made my final farewells to people who have been so important to me during my years here. Walking back into The Newcome felt like coming home; as I sat chatting over a pint of Stella and packet of crisps, I was reminded of where it all started in 2018. I haven't been back here for a while due to work commitments, but I spent many years working here and needed to say goodbye. Yes I know this is a lifestyle break and not forever, but with the world the way it is, I worry when I come back, nothing will be the same again; saying cheerio means closure, so I can happily go off on my mission to find myself....again!

From The Newcome it was on to Cancer Research in Commercial Road for a glass or two of Prosecco and some typically uplifting banter. This is the reason I started volunteering and why I kept coming back. The volunteers and Zerina, especially, are amazing individuals; when Darrell got a job with the shop, I knew how happy he would also be, and I wasn't wrong. I know it is so hard for him leaving everybody, but like me, he has made some memorable friendships. These are people who will always remain in both our hearts, they are quite simply the best of British and the most hard-working, down to earth bunch I have ever known.
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Last visit to see Dad

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Today, a friend from work who I missed yesterday, popped a card and a bottle of wine round. She wanted to come and see me before I left. Once again, I can not stress enough how deeply moved I have been by everyone's good wishes, it really means a lot. As a friend from Spain told me recently, rightly or wrongly, I have touched many lives; I just hope I have done so in a positive way. Angela has always been a beautiful soul, sharing mine and Darrell's love of cats, and has been a great friend during my tenure at Tesco. I will of course see her and everyone else again, but for now I am just happy for the love they have shown.

After Angela's impromptu visit, my Aunty Trisha, Darrell and I went to Titchfield to see my Father. This will be the last time I see him for a while, and I wanted to make sure he was OK. It is true to say I am worried about Dad. He is seventy-five years old and looking a little frail these days, but he repeated how well he was, and I should go off on my travels and not look back.

That is easier said than done. Although I don't see Dad as often as I would like, I enjoy being close by. When my Mother suddenly died in 2019, I was grateful to be near to my Father and glad to be able to do something to ease his pain. If anything happens to him while I am away, it will be harder to return quickly. Nevertheless, he assured me he was fine once again, and I have to take his word for it, after all I have no reason not to. I will naturally worry about him, but will check in as often as I can.

Dad gave me a deeply personal parting gift and a bunch of letters he had found, that I had sent Mum back in 1995. One of them was the very letter I wrote to her, coming out as gay, and my God did that bring back some emotions. My life may well be different to what Dad ever expected or even desired, but it is mine to own, and I have tried to live it as best I can. The unconventional nature of our relationship, separated at times by thousands of miles, has kept us strong as a couple. Our home will always be here in the United Kingdom, after all it's where we live, but torn between two diverging worlds it is our fate to travel, often for long periods of time. We will both know when the time is right to settle down, but for now we will keep following our heart on this endless journey that seems to never ends.

Bye bye UK, I'll see you soon!

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One Week To Go!

27/8/2022

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This time next week we will be on our way to Croatia, the first stop on my 'lifestyle break.' My nerves have well and truly kicked in now and despite past reservations, today I am finally looking forward to leaving the UK. My apprehension has always been about leaving friends behind, but this last week has shown that no matter where we are, those friendships will always be there.

Looking back over the years we have travelled, both Darrell and I have made many friends and a few of the good ones have remained, steadfast in our life. It is true to say, we haven't seen many of them in a long time, but lives are busy, and it can be difficult making time to see one another. Whether I return to the UK in a year or just keep on travelling is anyone's guess, but the important thing is, we do what makes us happy. I am genuinely trying to spend as much time as I can with those closest at the moment, giving as many people as I can a big hug when I see them (Yes I understand there is COVID, but hugging is no longer illegal.) When the time comes to leave, it will be a wrench, but I have spent some wonderful times with comrades and colleagues alike, and have some amazing memories to share.

Yesterday was my final shift on the Customer Service Desk, which, if I am honest, made me sad. Next week I will be working on the front end for a few days before I officially start my career break on Thursday. Colleagues and customers have been brilliant and have really shown me just how lucky I am. People have wanted to show their appreciation, which is rather difficult when you are leaving the country, but they have gone out of their way to show me how much they care. I suggested that a friendship bracelet or token, to take with me on my journey, would be an ideal gift, since we are limited with space. Well, I have been given some great items and will wear them throughout my time away. Every time I look at these gestures of friendship, I will be reminded of the people who did much, to enhance the life I have here in Portsmouth. These are the only things I need to remember my time, and their significance will cement the bonds I have formed.

The emotional rollercoaster I am on presently has a while to run yet, as I have a few more people to see before I go. On Wednesday, I will make a point of popping in to The Newcome to see my old boss. I have left seeing him and others to the last minute, preferring to stay out of crowded areas before I travel. With our departure on Saturday, I am hoping nothing will happen to jeopardise the flight before we go. I am also trying to keep my distance as much as possible from other people, although I am certainly not turning down those hugs before I go. Someone said to me just yesterday how 'huggy' I had become, and I suppose I have, I really am going to miss so many people; I just want to keep them as close as I can right now.

On Thursday, I will see my Father one last time. Naturally, I worry about Dad, and the prospect of being away from him for so long isn't helping my anxiety. He hasn't been too well lately, and it will be difficult leaving him behind. My Father is delighted we are travelling and following our dreams, but I do detect the apprehension in his voice. I have only been back in the UK for a little over four years, and I know he would rather I was staying, but he understands our need to go on this journey. Dad has always been quite stoical, showing little emotion, but since the death of Mum he has become far more emotionally in touch with his feelings. On the plus side, he does have a full life now, doing the things he has always wanted to do, so I am happy that he is content and won't miss me too much.

My cases are packed, and I am ready to fly. I am right up to the limit with my baggage allowance; Thai Airways are particularly tight with their allocation, with only one 20 kg suitcase allowed per person and only a single 7 kg cabin case permitted. Surprisingly I am able to take far more luggage to Croatia, than I am to Thailand and Australia, which really makes no sense at all, but with some innovative juggling and brutal selecting I have managed to do what I can to fit everything in. Living out of a suitcase for the next year isn't going to be easy, but we have done it before, and I doubt very much it will be the last time we do it again.

I've got another busy, tiring week ahead, but the long haul is nearly over and finally Darrell and I can relax together, away from the stress of life. It has been a long time coming, but God willing, we will depart without a hitch and fly away towards new adventures. Our life together is about to change for the better, and I am thankful we finally have something to look forward to. My love for Portsmouth will always be there, this is after all my home, but my yearning for new horizons will inevitably overtake my need to settle down, as the World once again becomes my reason to live and an oasis to explore!

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The Last Supper!

22/8/2022

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Yesterday was quite an emotional day for me for many reasons. It was my final Sunday shift on my department and the last day I would see people who were being redeployed to different parts of the business. I suppose Sunday brought home just how close we are to leaving. For the first time, I didn't feel attached to my job in the way I was before. Becoming emotionally detached is an important process when you are going away. I suppose it has happened in our life so many times, that it is just part of the course now. Nevertheless, it doesn't get any easier and I just want to get on that plane and fly away; everything feels different, and it's time to move forwards!

Last night was the final 'last supper' before we depart on the 3rd September. We are mindful of COVID-19 and want to avoid large crowds as much as possible until our departure. Fifteen of my closest friends and colleagues from Tesco joined Darrell and me for drinks and a buffet dinner, once again at Spoon in Portsmouth. To be honest, I was very touched by the number of people who wanted to come. To say the night was impassioned is a bit of an understatement. I will not be seeing these gorgeous people for a very long time. Many of them may well have moved on when I return, and I am aware of how different my position in the company could be.

It was good to relax and chat with friends in a way we don't usually have time to do. I haven't seen many of those who came last night In a long while. Usually it is a short hello, wave of the hand and brief exchange of pleasantries. Sitting down to eat and drink just allows for a more pleasurable experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Sunday was the last of the formal goodbyes, with just my Father to see on the 1st of September. These past few weeks have been extremely draining, but it really has shown us just how much people care. I may well have only been in Portsmouth for four years, but the friends I have made, have been extremely important for my personal growth and wellbeing. A year away isn't a long time on the scale of things, but it is when you consider just how much can change during that time. The hope is, these fantastic individuals will remain a part of my life for many years to come, but of course circumstances, dreams and aspirations change. Whatever happens over the next twelve months, I am glad I have all these memories to take with me and of course share with you. As I say a final farewell to all my colleagues for now, I am blown away by their generosity of spirit and send all of them my love. Never change, keep being the people you are!
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Farewell To My Happy Place!

20/8/2022

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On Monday, I said a fond farewell to Cancer Research - 'my happy place.' I began volunteering at the shop in Commercial Road in June 2018 on my return from Spain and have always enjoyed my time there. Zerina has been a rock of support for four years, as we discussed and shared our numerous health issues, and my life would have been all the poorer without her. Despite not having volunteered at the shop for a while now, I have always maintained contact and returned when I can to say hello.

Monday was really about Darrell, who has been Deputy Manager at Cancer Research for a little over six months now. I know from talking to Zerina and the volunteers, that he will be missed and has made an impact on all of those who work there. Saying goodbye has always been important for us, because our life has always been so transient. I have lost count of the number of bon voyage parties we have attended and tears that have been shed, as we have embarked on our travels and pastures new. Despite this, in the main, the last few years have been productive and extremely rewarding. If it wasn't for everyone at this little shop, I think we would have left much sooner. Sometimes you need to stay longer than you originally plan, to establish roots in preparation for an impromptu return.

It is the people in Portsmouth who have enriched both our lives since we moved here, and are the most difficult reason against our departure.  We are leaving good friends behind for a year, as we embark on a life-changing journey. Things may well have changed out of all proportion when we return, and that may not necessarily be for the best. Personally, I have always disliked change, which is in complete contrast to my lifestyle, but both Darrell and I are fully aware of just how special our life is. Our willingness to visit new and exciting countries and distant parts of the globe, makes us the couple we have always been.

The food was as wonderful as ever at Spoon World Buffet as fourteen of us sat down to eat. Laughing, joking and reminiscing about days spent at the shop, we all had a memorable final evening together. Darrell is of course still working at the shop until the end of August, like me, and I will have the opportunity to say goodbye to Zerina one final time. However, it felt great to spend time with friends and colleagues in an informal setting, people who have helped shape my life during my time in Portsmouth. I will of miss them more than words can say, but I am thankful for the good times I've had, making money for charity and working together, even during the darkest days of the pandemic. When our travels are complete, Cancer Research will once again be our first port of call, just as it was all those years ago, making more memories to take with us, as we continue with our life, wherever we finally settle down!
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The Long Goodbye Continues Apace!

15/8/2022

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Darrell and I were invited to a dear friend's house on Sunday evening. Jules, a work colleague, wanted to say a personal goodbye before we embark on our year of travelling. I have always been close to him, he has been there through some truly rough periods in my life, when Darrell was trapped in Australia at the height of the pandemic. Despite looking forward to my sabbatical, it will still be a wrench leaving friends behind, especially people like Jules. The older I get, the harder it will be to establish new friendships; I am lucky to have had this amazing person as a friend for the last four years, and I am happy and confident he will be a part of both our lives for many years to come.

Jules had also invited a special guest along, someone I haven't seen for a long time and a person I have known for thirty years. I don't want to mention him by name today, but save that for another blog. Some people value their privacy more than I and I respect their wish to leave it for a while before I publish their name.

What I can say, however, is just how important this person is to me. Jules understood the connection we had and went out of his way to facilitate our brief reunion. This was the mark of true friendship and makes me so grateful for the friends I have made here. There are very few people who remain a part of all our lives for such a long period of time, most are gone within a blink of an eye. I am lucky to have a few close companions, and seeing one of my oldest friends last night was an amazing memory to take with me on my travels.

Darrell and I still have more gatherings to attend before we leave in a few weeks, saying goodbye to many more friends; the long goodbye continues apace. Nevertheless, last night was the most important time for me, in the company of very close colleagues, in a relaxed, chilled atmosphere. I will miss Jules terribly during my travels, and I can't thank him enough for making my time in Portsmouth, at a time of turmoil, all the more bearable. I intend to return in a year and pick up from where I left off, but during such uncertain times, it is important to say goodbye to people who have been significant in my life. None of us know what will happen tomorrow, let alone in a year. I continue to look forward to the future, but am mindful of the people who made me the person I am. Jules is one of those and will forever remain in my heart!

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Catching Up With Friends Before We Go!

9/8/2022

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Bella Calabria

The next few weeks are going to be manic for Darrell and me, as we finish our itinerary for a year of travelling. On top of this, we have to say our goodbyes to friends and family, which, if I am honest, is already taking its toll. With so many people to see, it is becoming problematic fitting everyone in; however, I am doing my very best.

On Sunday I had a farewell meal with colleagues from work, the first of many meals over the next month. Six of us went to a highly recommended Italian restaurant in North End, here in Portsmouth, Bella Calabria. I had heard some great reviews on the restaurant from people I know, so thought I would try it out. The food was absolutely delicious. This was authentic Italian cuisine, cooked by Italians, and I personally wasn't disappointed.

With colleagues on the Customer Service Department, a friend James from Dot-com, and my boss Sammy, we spent a great few hours chatting and talking about mine and Darrell's plans for the year ahead. My position in the company is secure and has been kept open for my return, so I have no worries on that score. I do have to be mindful of the costs involved in circumnavigating the World; it isn't cheap. With no income for the next twelve months, it is important I budget as much as I can. Living within ones means while travelling is a bit of a tall order, but I am well-used to stretching the cash these days, so I am confident I have everything in place to ensure we have an amazing adventure.

It was fantastic being with the people who have been there for each other over the last few years. We kept each other's spirits up during the darkest days of the pandemic and did our best to survive, whatever came our way. These are the people who supported me, while Darrell was stranded in Australia, and were there when I fought for his return. Without them, my life would have been all the poorer and the motivation to succeed even harder to achieve.

After a lovely three-course meal, Darrell, James and I headed to Southsea beach and sat talking for hours. James has always been close; we started work together on the same department and have much in common. Whether sat back to back on checkouts discussing difficulties only gay men could have or bitching, in a way only we know how, our friendship has only grown stronger. He is one person I will miss more than most, but I know he will be a part of my life wherever I am in the World.

On Monday, still recovering from Bella Calabria, suitably hungover, Darrell and I spent the afternoon with one of our oldest friends from our time in Southampton, Elaine. We had lunch at The Lord Palmerston in Southsea, cheap and cheerful, after the expensive £40.00 ahead Italian the night before. Elaine knows us better than we know ourselves, so whenever we haven't seen each other for a while, we just pick up from where we left off.

The weather was scorching hot as we walked from the pub to the beach, where we relaxed in the early evening sun, swam and just enjoyed the cool breeze along the coast. Darrell said the most difficult part of going away is the goodbyes we have to make before we leave. I get that, I get that one hundred percent. It is always hard saying farewell, but that's why seeing friends like Elaine is important. A lot could happen while we are travelling, especially in this post COVID era, so spending a few hours of quality time with those closest, helps us stay grounded and connected to people when we are thousands of miles apart. Nothing lasts forever, and I'm sure we will see them all again one day soon, when we finally shake the itching bug and settle down once more.

Two more farewells before we depart these shores for pastures new, exploring parts of the World only others could dream of. This is the life Darrell and I have chosen to lead, unlike most of you and despite the pitfalls, it is the dynamic that keeps us together. This may well turn out to be another huge mistake in a long list of miscalculations, but these are our mistakes to make, and we are determined to live our lives to the full. I am aware age isn't on our side and the clock is ticking faster, so before I'm unable to do the things that make me happy, crossing countries off my bucket list, I'm going to make the most of the years I have left and keep following my dreams!

Southsea

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Catching Up With Friends Before We Go - Nathan!

1/8/2022

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Darrell and I are both seasoned travellers, but this will be the longest trip we have ever taken together. As we have done, so many times before, we are spending valuable time with friends and colleagues before we go.  It is important to say goodbye to those closest, since a year is a long time and a lot can happen. I have some fantastic friends here on the south coast of England, and catching up will allow me to take some wonderful memories with me on my travels.

On Saturday night, we went for dinner at the Siam Square Restaurant in Southsea. The food was simply delicious, and I think all of us were suitably impressed. Of course, I picked Thai food, since Thailand will be our first port of call in Asia, and I wasn't disappointed.

I chose the Lamb Shank Curry, which was cooked to perfection; I couldn't fault the food or service at all. This place had come highly recommended and when I return, I will make a point of returning to this rather understated establishment.

Nathan visited Darrell and me in Spain five years ago and has always been a close friend. Our friendship has had its ups and downs over the years, but we have weathered many storms, some bigger than others, and come out the other side smiling. Nathan is just like a little son to me, and I will always look out for him, even if I am travelling across the World. I will miss his cheery face, but at least we have the internet and modern technology to stay in contact.

Nathan is the first of many catchups over the next month, each one as important as the last. Friends are the glue that holds Darrell and me together, and they are the people who continue to support our relationship, even in the most challenging circumstances. We will catch up again when we are home, until then, it was fantastic to see you, happy, content and building a future... Much love!
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Building foundations for success in the future!

27/6/2022

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It has been a busy week for me, and I am feeling particularly tired. I am currently working a lot of hours and rarely have time to myself. Saving for lots of different things, especially during this cost of living crisis, is proving more challenging than I expected, even with me being in an enviable position. Like all of you, I am feeling the pinch, with my living costs going up daily, and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. I was using my time here in the UK productively, saving hard for the future but at present the targets I set for myself seem to be slipping away, as I try and keep my head above water. This is not a great period to be alive and like everyone, I am fearful for the future. 

Just yesterday I checked the value of my pensions, as I do from time to time, and was shocked at the collapse in  their value. In a little over four months, my main pension has fallen 20% and all the gains made over the last three years have been lost; now that is scary, especially when I want to retire in four years time. I understand pensions and investments do fluctuate, it's just part of the course, but the figures I am seeing just indicate a continual decline, unlike anything I have ever seen before.

Equally, the various share holdings I own have also dramatically declined and fallen even further than my pensions. With most of my cash tied up in a high interest savings account, I am fortunate not to have invested too big a portion of my money into higher risk financial products. However, the state of the World economy is still a worrying concern for my future, and I am keeping a close eye on all my investments. We are being hammered from all sides; higher taxes and bills, as well as rising inflation that is dangerously out of control. 

My current thinking is to continue putting as much money away as I can, especially with such a bleak outlook moving forwards; that isn't really going to change. My desire to buy a property is of course my overriding ambition, but after taking advice, I am aware that this isn't the right time to do so. As the crisis gets worse, it looks likely, that house prices will crash in the very near future and I want to be able to pick up a bargain when the time is right. Whether we buy here or abroad, I just have no idea, but by the time I reach my 55th Birthday I hope to finally have a home of my own. 

It is important for me to have goals, which I work towards daily. It gives me focus at especially difficult times. As a person, I have always been terrible with money, so this is the first time I've actually made a positive impact on my finances. I am mindful, nevertheless, of the challenging months ahead, and I am extremely concerned at the possible implications of a continued collapse in financial markets. This is the time I should be building for the future, instead I am battling to stay afloat. Darrell and I are far luckier than most, not having to pay bills, but we do have a lot of outgoings to contend with, and they are just getting more and more burdensome daily. Like everyone else, though, there is very little I can do about it.

The last four years have had their high and low points; the lack of personal space does take its toll, especially recently. Spending the majority of my time at work or held up in a single room doesn't do wonders for my mental health, but I am aware that the sacrifices I am making now should pay dividends in the future. On the plus side, my financial astuteness has increased beyond measure. I have saved more money than I ever have done in my life, and my current circumstances have allowed me to build the foundations for success in the future.

Both Darrell and I are also fortunate to have chosen our friends, far more wisely, than we have done in the past. We no longer have the hangers on, the people who just take, borrow and never pay back and more importantly, we no longer suffer fools gladly. I have a very small group of close friends and never trust anyone I don't know well enough. Yesterday, I went out with a small group of work colleagues, and we had a fabulous night; a rare occasion when Darrell and I spent time with others outside our family circle.
My finances have always taken a severe battering because of other people, which is why we have to be so careful these days. No longer easily influenced or afraid to say no, I am happy to have decent people back in my life. I was such a bad judge of character in the past, that I could never see the impending disaster waiting in the wings. The more I desired the company of others, the more money I spent, and all I am left with today is a bag full of regret and some pretty terrible memories to boot. These people are firmly in the past, but their destructive influence still lingers. I do suffer with anxiety and from time to time I do become particularly inward, self reflective and depressed; Something I am aware could be rearing its ugly head once again today.

It appears it's time to batten down the hatches, just like we did during the pandemic. Working extra hard is necessary right now, since none of us really knows what will happen next. There has been so much thrown at us in recent times, that we just have to do our best to survive each oncoming storm. I know, after attending Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in the past, that it is important to deal with each event or trigger as it happens, breaking down difficulties into smaller packages. Rather than panicking over the bigger picture, I am accepting the inevitable and dealing with each element separately, which I hope will see me through.

Each of us have a difficult road to tread at the moment, and I am no different to you. All I can do is help others when I can, donate to foodbanks, make sure I listen to friends who need help, give them a shoulder to cry on and a voice of reason. Yes, we are all suffering, but we must remember those who are worse off than us. Reach out, be available and above all keep fighting, even when the battle seems lost!
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