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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'
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Countdown to Moving Day!

4/2/2023

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We are literally counting down the days now until we move to the new house in Perth. All the paperwork has been finished, we have received the formal approval from the bank and the exchange of contracts will happen next week. It really has been a long road getting to this point.

Last Sunday, we took our friend Joy out for lunch at The Sterling Arms in Guildford, to thank her for all she has done for us since we have been here. From Christmas Dinner, to running us around in the car, she has been there supporting us through this difficult period. Without Joy's help, we would have found it very difficult to get things done in time for settlement of Monday, so it was only fitting that we showed our appreciation.

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With the sold sign now up, it has been time to shop, and boy have we shopped. We have turned up in Australia with absolutely nothing, so we literally have to buy everything. After another gorgeous Sunday lunch, we went on an impromptu shopping trip, to start the process of making our new house a home. This isn't a small place, mind you, so it will take time and a significant amount of money to do everything we need to do, but we have at least started.

With both of us working in well paid jobs, we are lucky to be able to have the money to buy the things we want, without credit; that will definitely be a first for me. I have made a pact with myself, never to use credit of any kind again; it may well make things harder, but we need to plough all our hard-earned cash into paying off the mortgage earlier. I hope to pay an extra $2000 a month on top of the $1400 we will be paying. That may sound a lot, but for the first time in our life we can actually afford it and have cash left over to save. I keep telling myself, 'why the hell didn't I do this earlier?'
On Monday we went to 'Jack's' in Belmont to buy some of the furniture - a sofa, TV unit, coffee table, bed and mattress. Rather than waiting 16 weeks, as we were told elsewhere, they informed us, they could deliver the next day if we so wished. From Jack's, we drove back to Midland and to 'The Good Guys' electrical store, where we bought a fridge freezer and washing machine. The Fridge was a little more than I wanted to pay and wasn't as big as I would have liked, but it is top of the range and made to work in these hot Australian temperatures, plus I absolutely love the stainless steel.

After much deliberation, we decided to buy a front loading washer, rather than the top loader we were going to get. I did some research and discovered top loaders weren't as good; in fact, they are positively awful in comparison. It has something to do with the motion of the drum. So even though it was a little more expensive, we went for the popular UK version, which will suit our needs perfectly.

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Today, after receiving my severance pay from Tesco, on the first day of my three-day weekend, I went into Guildford. I had seen some lovely pieces of furniture in the antique shop there, that I just couldn't resist. I am not a fan of flat pack stuff, so wanted to get something more durable, with character and a little bit of style, just to create a statement in the formal longe.

After a bit of haggling and polite negotiation, I managed to get a great deal on a beautiful oak bureau, with cabinet above, and an oak chest of draws. I don't intend to have everything antique by any means, but a couple of well-chosen items will go well in our new home, and it will give me somewhere to put my 'old tat' as Darrell calls it. Having said that, I have very few personal items left, since we relocated, so the cabinet should be the perfect size!  There are also plenty of other items in 'Jones of Guildford' that I would absolutely love, but with funds depleted, I decided to head into Perth for a spot of window shopping and lunch in Yagan Square.
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I haven't been into the city for a while, not since I started work anyway, so it was nice having a wonder round the shops, even though the weather was blisteringly hot. I stopped off at The Belgian Beer Café, for a couple of pints of Stella in my favourite  bar on Murray Street. Once again, there was just me and a couple of local alcoholics at eleven this morning, but I didn't mind that too much; takes me back to my time living in Portsmouth. To be honest I'll do anything for a pint of Stella, so since this is the only place I have seen it on tap in Perth, I'll have to put up with what ever is thrown my way.

After a shopping trip to London Court, I headed to The Shoe on Yagan Square for a spot of lunch and a pint of Peroni. The view from the Shoe is amazing and despite the heat, it was great sat on the balcony looking out over this beautiful city. I don't suppose I'll be making many more trips like this once we start paying the mortgage, so it was good to do it today, before the big move on Monday.

Today, Perth is really beginning to feel like home; that is something I never thought I would say. For the first time since Spain, I can really say, I am feeling happy and content, looking forward to a bright and successful future... With a bit of luck! At 51 years old, this hasn't been an easy move to make, and the last five months have been challenging, but with light now at the end of the tunnel, both Darrell and I can nearly breathe a sigh of relief. There is only one more obstacle to cross now, and this one could be the biggest hurdle of all!
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Tesco's End - Farewell to a faithful old friend!

29/1/2023

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This week, I have finally said a fond farewell to my job at Tesco. After nearly five years, I emailed my letter of resignation on Friday, ending what was probably the most productive period of my life in Britain. This was the hardest decision I had to make, but the reality is, my lifestyle break had come to an end, when I started a full time job here in Australia. The contract dictates the steps I had to take under such circumstances and with a little bit of prompting from my now ex-boss Sammy, I handed in my notice with immediate effect. Sammy was instrumental in ensuring I was able to take such an important career break in the first place; after some deeply painful days in Britain before we left, she was there offering support when I needed it most. Without her, our success now, may well have ended very differently and for that I will always be grateful!

The truth is, I hate goodbyes, and this was one I really didn't want to say. I understand I haven't been working in Fratton for five months now, but by holding on to the possibility, I may return to my job one day, I was somewhat comforted. You may well call it a safety net, or just not wanting to let go, but for me, it was about holding on to the good times and life enhancing memories that I made, everyday I went to work, behind the customer Service Desk. There were no bad shifts, although in reality there probably were, but nothing to speak of, and I always thoroughly enjoyed my time at Tesco; luckily for me, I will always look back at my time with fondness and there aren't many jobs you can say that about.

I don't think I have every really worked somewhere quite like it; the people were the most generous, giving and open bunch I have ever met and all of them felt like the family I needed at that time. Most people spoke of the friendly atmosphere and just how well colleagues got on with one another, but it wasn't until I left in September 2022, at the beginning of my journey to Australia, that I realised just how much I was going to miss the place.

I have to be honest now, and I know some of you won't appreciate it, but there isn't much I am going to miss about Fratton. I never enjoyed living there and would never want to live there again, but the friends I made, the generosity of spirit you see in the people from Tesco and indeed Fratton as a whole, is truly heart-warming. This was a community that treated everyone with respect and dignity, no matter what their background, and the enduring memories I made will stay with me for the rest of my life.

When I look back to my departure and those last few weeks at Tesco, I don't think I have ever felt more loved in my life. These were my family in all but name, they gave me everything I needed - from a shoulder to cry on, advice and direction, or a place to crash if the worst came to the worst. My colleagues, no, my FRIENDS, were there encouraging me, every step of the way, and I will miss them all, especially now everything is so final!

My time at Tesco coincided with some momentous events, not only in my life, but also in the history of the World. I started working there after returning from Spain, while Darrell was in Australia caring for his Mother. When I needed support, the team were there for me. It was never a chore going into work, in fact if you ask anyone who worked there, I was more often than not, early, so I could chat with friends. This was just what I needed, as I tried to build a life temporarily without my husband. This sense of belonging became even more crucial when the pandemic took hold in 2020; all of us bonded in a way that would have been unthinkable before.

Working through the worst public health crisis in a hundred years was often scary, especially during the early days, when none of us knew just how bad things would get. I remember working on the desk, which looked more like a bunker, with fruit and veg crates piled in front, as a barrier between customers and us. There was no PPE or sanitizer initially, and Tesco did everything they could to ensure our safety; these were times of great anxiety and stress, but they were also days of comradeship, laughter and music.

As shops closed, theatres were boarded up, pubs, music venues and places of entertainment shut their doors, Tesco remained open. Things were very different, of course, but we hosted events on those great occasions that would normally see people celebrating in the streets. From VE day to Christmas, we all did our best to make sure customers enjoyed their time; after all, we were the only stores open in this new dystopian World. Supermarkets were crucial as key workers like me made our way to work every day, through deserted, empty streets, to serve customers and hopefully brightening their day.

Today I am lucky to include many customers as friends, born out of the pandemic and the respect we showed for one another. From the Fox Lady, Joanne and her multicoloured hair, and the dear late Mrs Fisher, who I talked with throughout the pandemic, until her death just over a year ago. Together with colleagues, Managers and all those on Front End Support, I had the best four and a half years of my life.

I have shed a tear or two, as I moved across the World, which is only natural. Things will never really be the same again. I am, however, aware of where my future lies, but I am also mindful of where my journey began. The World was just a little bit sweeter at Tesco and I laughed just a little bit more; I hugged so much better (even throughout the pandemic, naughty I know) and I was just a little bit, yes just a little bit happier, in a job I loved more than any other that had gone before.

I leave behind people I love and always will, the memories of a special time in my life, friends like you wouldn't believe and of course my biggest, bestest, loveliest friend of all - Jules, my big Brother, forever, and someone I wish I'd got to know better. Nevertheless, we will always be there for each other, as much as we can, and when the time is right I'll be back in Fratton, sharing the love; picking up from where I left off, the day I closed my locker door, rekindling the nostalgia I will always feel!

Dedicated to Jules, my Brother from another Mother!

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Cor Blimey, It's been a Scorcher!

21/1/2023

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Cor Blimey, Governor, it's been a hot one. Today has been the hottest day in Perth, so far this year and considering 2023 has only just started, I bet there are a few more days like this to come. The temperature in Midland reached a top of 43 degrees earlier today; well, that's what it registered on my Fitbit anyway, but luckily I was working in a lovely air-conditioned shop. I'm really not used to these extreme temperatures, coming from the UK, but having lived in Spain I am more used to the heat than most. Surprisingly, however, there is very little humidity here, so you don't really sweat in the same way you would during a humid UK summer.

Today is also the end of the second week in my new job, and I am looking forward to a few days well-earned rest. The last couple of weeks have been particularly stressful because of everything that has been going on. The house sale is progressing well, after Darrell and I had the mortgage confirmed by Commonwealth bank, and we are looking to move very soon; everything is just so fast here. When the Home loan was confirmed, we were given a fifteen-day settlement date, and we should be in our new villa by the middle of February. Thankfully for us, there will be no stamp duty to pay. Under normal circumstances, we would have been liable for a bill of $8000, but because we are first time buyers here, Western Australia has waved that fee.

On Monday we have a surveyor checking the house, and always up for a bargain, I am shopping around for the cheapest settlement solicitor in Perth. So far I have been quoted $1000 less than the original price I was given. Darrell is worrying about letting the other firm down, but I am of the opinion, why should we pay more for the same service? Yes I may be tight, but in all honesty, I have to be. Saving the cents is important for me now, especially with mortgage repayments of $1300 a month.

We decided to take out a variable rate mortgage, in order to pay it off as quickly as possible. We want to repay it within ten years, which is doable, as long as interest rates start to stabilise. Furthermore, we are both lucky to be earning a very good wage, so can afford to double our repayments each month and pay it back in record time. Of course, only time will tell if that actually happens or not. I am confident, that as long as we continue on the same path we are on now, we won't have too much to worry about.

The paperwork trail this week has been astronomical, we just haven't stopped filling in forms. However, most of this has been done remotely and with the help of our amazing mortgage broker at the bank, we have managed to get this done and dusted relatively quickly. Yes, I am stressed and sleeping less, but I am also working and able to concentrate my efforts elsewhere, thus avoiding worrying about moving, every day.

When all is said and done, we have achieved our goals in superfast time. Not only do we both have well paid jobs, but we are also buying a house, new car and looking forward to the rest of our life together. It really has been a long road getting here, but I can finally say, without a shadow of a doubt, we made the right decision. Putting the past behind us is our overriding priority now. Those who have played an important role in our future are welcome with open arms, as for the rest, well, they are just a warning to do better in future. This isn't the first new start we have had, but it is the most successful to date; for that reason it is important to stay focused, and remain positive as this new year progresses. This is the life we have both craved for so long, the success we have dreamed of, and the break we both need; finally contentment it's only a heartbeat away!
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New Year, New Home!

16/1/2023

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This month is turning out to be busy, beyond busy to be more accurate. Not only did I start a new job last week, but Darrell and I have finally found a home; everything seems to be coming together at once. As stressed as I am, I understand just how important it is for me to relax. I came to Australia for a change in pace, not to inadvertently increase my blood pressure (which is perfectly fine at the moment) and have absolutely no time to myself. Nevertheless, I have to accept just how fast the pieces are falling into place and, for once, embrace the possibilities that are coming in thick and fast. To think I used to hate this place and never saw Western Australia as a land of opportunity nor a long term solution to our ambitions and aspirations, when actually, currently, it is!

The house is a three-bedroom villa in a small community of six dwellings, just off Morrison Road in Perth. Interestingly, it was built the same year Darrell and I got together, in 1995 and is a typical Australian home. It has a large kitchen and family room, a laundry and separate toilet and a formal lounge at the front of the property. The house is also air-conditioned throughout and is in relatively good decorative order.

There is a very small courtyard garden at the side of the property, which, although small, suits us perfectly; neither of us want the responsibility of a garden. We don't have the time or desire to be outside gardening, especially in the Australian climate.

Having said that, there is work to do outside; the boundary fence is coming down, and it will need to be replaced or fixed. I also want to repave the outside areas and shade part of the outlook at the back, so we don't have to look directly onto the highway at the rear of the house. Some people would be put off by the proximity to a major road, but for us, city dwellers at heart, it is perfectly fine. We will be a five-minute walk to Midland Gate shopping Centre and a twenty-minute walk to my place of work. The set-up works for us, but it wouldn't be to everyones taste. I like being close to local amenities and although there are aesthetics to sort out, I am happy to get to grips with that in time. After all, if you had seen some of the places I have lived in the past, you'd understand why!

With the offer accepted, now comes the hard bit. We have arrived in Australia without a stick of furniture, so that is now on a priority list. For now, we will get what we desperately require, and the rest can wait. What it does mean, however, is we will have to put a lower deposit down on the villa, so we have some spare cash to buy what we need. Luckily furniture and electrical goods are a lot cheaper here, so I have worked out we will have to pay out $13,000 initially, which is achievable in the short term, especially with us both working. We also need to buy a car, especially now I want to start my driving lessons again, and I personally want a contingency left for maintenance and any eventualities that may occur.

I have also discussed getting a mortgage where I can repay far more than I have to. I want to pay it off in record time. The only way I can do this, is by getting a variable rate home loan, which is a bit scary at the moment, with interest rates continuing to rise in Australia. It is either that or have a fixed rate mortgage, which restricts payments; that isn't something I am contemplating, but will discuss the possibilities with Rob, our wonderful Mortgage Broker at The Commonwealth Bank, over the next few weeks.

All being well, we should be in the house within a maximum of eight weeks; in fact, it could be a lot sooner than that. The current owner, who is in Queensland, has already said we can move in before completion, once the Mortgage has gone through. The whole process here is far more relaxed and laid back, which is actually a bonus for me, especially having started a new job at the same time. The easier this period is, the better.

So Darrell and I have reached yet another milestone in record time, and we are both delighted. On the surface at least, for now, Australia seems to have been the best move we have made. Of course part of me thinks we should have done it years ago, but the other half remembers the memories we made in between, principally in Spain. We can always look back in hindsight and imagine, 'what if?' The important thing today, however, is to move forward with our life and try to build a future, once again, from scratch; luckily that doesn't phase me one bit. Neither of us are young any more, but age aside, this is just another steppingstone on our journey together. Australia will be our home for now, where we hope to make even more happy memories to share with all of you.

A little bit of retail therapy to stay positive this afternoon, as we wait for the final stage of the mortgage. As long as the house is OK, and the bank think it's worth the money, then we are good to go. In the meantime, I've got shopping to do!... Thank God for Kmart; I'll always be a pikey at heart.
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Hyacinth Bucket of Aussie Prospector? You decide!

15/1/2023

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Friday the 13th!

13/1/2023

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New Year, New Job!

10/1/2023

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On the 10th January, I started my new job at a well known Australian soft furnishing company. This wasn't a position I planned for, it was something I fell into, after an informal chat with a retail agency who found me the position. The job itself is extremely well paid, compared to British standards, well above the average wage here in Australia. It is also a Management position, something I haven't done for many years, but I am relishing the challenge and new opportunity to do something I enjoy.

I have been training for a week now, and it seems to be going well, very similar to previous retail management positions I have held in the UK. Of course the first few days are particularly mind-boggling, as you take in a vast amount of information, but I am sure in time, everything will just fall into place. At the moment I am just bedding myself in and learning my new role; next week I will be in my own shop, running it for real.

If I am honest, it is daunting looking at the sheer volume of work I will have to undertake, but I have to keep telling myself this is my first week. Dealing with one thing at a time is important in Management, so you don't overburden yourself with too many tasks at once. Planning one's day effectively, is the best way to achieve results, and it will take me a while to understand the procedures and policies I will have to follow. I have to keep reminding myself that, I haven't just accepted a new appointment, but I am also working in a new country, whose culture and working practices are very different to the UK.

I am working with some truly amazing individuals, who have been coaching me in all aspects of the business and training me to become a successful Manager. Furthermore, I feel honoured to have been given a chance to not only build a new career, but also the opportunity to run a business in a way that allows me to put my individual stamp on its future. This is not a small store, this is a large shop, in a busy part of Midland; yes it is scary, but I am also relishing this new adventure.

As I continue to integrate into Australian life, I am lucky to have been given chances, I wouldn't otherwise have had in the UK. At 51 years of age, I do consider myself fortunate to be able to retrain and continue my working life abroad; not many people have the ability to do that, especially at my age. So far, things are going remarkably well, but I am just waiting for the first thing to go wrong. Yes, you may call me a pessimist, but my life is littered with difficulties and hardships, ever since I can remember. That kind of makes you feel negative at times. Maybe that feeling is brought about by my time in Britain, or maybe it is just part of my psyche. For now, I am doing my best to steer around feelings of frustration and fear and remain upbeat and positive.

I don't see myself as a failure, far from it, but I have suffered more misfortune than most. To have been given this new blank page, to rewrite history, is the best thing that could have happened for my sense of purpose and wellbeing. I haven't been this happy in a long time; as the days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months, I hope to build on what I have achieved so far, and create a new life in Australia. With a new sense of purpose and direction, determined to succeed, I hope to forge an unchartered career down under, well away from one of the most difficult periods in my life.
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Last Weekend of Freedom!

8/1/2023

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Happy New Year 2023!

1/1/2023

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Well that's it, another year over, and I couldn't be happier to see the back of it. I think, looking back to the death of The Queen, I realised just how bloody dreadful a year it had been. Her passing just emphasised how bad it was for me and Darrell. Despite the difficulties we experienced as a couple, the saving grace was of course leaving Britain at the beginning of September, on our adventure of a lifetime. I can't actually believe that was four months ago now. Walking away from everything was just what we had to do, for our own sanity and peace of mind. Despite missing friends and colleagues from work and my Father, I haven't really looked back since, happy to lay 2022 to rest!

I didn't see in the New Year last night, as I would have done in Britain, in fact I was in bed asleep by ten o'clock. I did manage to welcome in 2023 from Sydney, but with Perth being three hours behind, I decided to go to bed. There are so many different time zones in Australia, it makes you realise just how big this country is.

This morning, I was awake by 6 am as usual, so managed to welcome in 2023 from London. In a way, this was like the final goodbye from a country I had called home most of my life, but a place I have certainly fallen out of love with in recent years. Whether it's the state of the economy, the God awful endless, discredited Tory Governments or the difficulties at home on a personal level, I am just thankful, I can put this horrendous period to the back of my mind and move on. There was however a twinge of sadness, as the festivities played homage to our late Queen Elizabeth, reminding not only me, but all of us, that 2022 was definitely the end of an era!

Of course, not everything was bad, and I am glad I made so many wonderful friends in Portsmouth before I left, who will always be in my thoughts. Whether from Tesco, The Newcome Arms, or Cancer Research, all of these weird and wonderful characters will share a special place in my heart, wherever I am in the World. Without them, the 'Pandemic Years' would have been that much harder to bear!

I would like to wish all the readers of Roaming Brit a happy and prosperous 2023 and hope you all get everything you wish for in life. Thank you for continuing to support this blog, sharing your thoughts and ideas, and now being a part of my new life down under. Happy New Year!
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Year in Review 2022!

27/12/2022

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Wow, what a year it has been for both me and Darrell. So much has happened in such a small space of time, I just don't know where to begin. I suppose I should start at the beginning - Darrell had been back in the UK for just a few short months and both of us were planning a future together in Portsmouth, in the aftermath of a pandemic that had conspired to keep us apart for nearly two years.

We were pretty happy and sorted at the beginning of 2022. Both of us were working in jobs we loved and were discussing the possibility of buying a home together for the first time in many years. The pandemic had been kind to us at least, and we had saved up a substantial amount of money for a deposit, but it just wasn't enough for somewhere big enough for our needs. To be honest, when I look back, I don't think either of us really wanted to live in a pokey one-bedroom flat, in a city we just couldn't call our own. I'm not sure if that sounds completely right, but what I am trying to say is, it never really felt like home. It didn't have the memories needed to form an emotional attachment. Although I had some strong friendships, keeping that connection alive, ultimately it wasn't enough to keep us in this famous naval city, on the south coast of England.

Darrell was working hard at Cancer Research in a job he loved. His boss and my friend Zerina was instrumental in keeping us both in Portsmouth for as long as we were there. She is one of my closest and dearest friends and a lady I hold in the highest regard. She has helped both me and Darrell out more times than I care to remember. Her advice has been invaluable, and she was a huge presence in both our lives. I don't think I have ever seen Darrell so happy in his work, as he was there, and he really put his heart and soul into a position he loved. Back then, I was sure we would stay in Portsmouth for the rest of our days.

Equally, I was thoroughly enjoying my position at Tesco, as I had done since I started there in 2018. In many ways, I had become part of the furniture and had settled into my role with ease. For the first time in many years, I had formed close friendships with some truly remarkable characters. These were the lifeline that kept me going when Darrell was away, and they held me together, while living a rather frugal existence in Portsmouth.

My colleagues on the Customer Service desk where I worked were such a close-knit group, it was always going to be a wrench leaving them behind under any circumstances, let alone what transpired later in the year. Together with my closest friend Jules, this was the World I wanted to keep, grasp tightly and not want to let go!

Jules was normally the first person I saw every morning, forever smiling, consistently welcoming and invariably so full of life. We talked about everything and anything, and he is the nearest to the Brother I have never really had. Our bond grew especially close during my last year in the UK, and I really don't think I would have survived those final days in Portsmouth without him. He was a shoulder to cry on, an encyclopedia of advice and always, just always that little bit 'extra gay'. Every morning we saw one another, we would always have the biggest bear hug and make sure to end our morning natter before work by saying those immortal words 'be extra gay today,' as we did every day, bringing a little bit of sunshine into an otherwise drab, dull world.

Of course nothing was quite as it seemed and although my work life was the best it had ever been, things at home were not working out. I had lived with my Aunt for four years and thoroughly enjoyed my time there. She was, in all but name, Mum, especially after my Mother died in 2019. My Aunt, Darrell and I all got on well in the same house, and it was an arrangement that worked perfectly for the most part. I suppose I became complacent and took our living situation for granted, believing things would carry on very much in the same vein, even when the danger signs were there.

Her son and my Cousin moved back into the family home in the middle of the year and despite a rocky start, things worked fine. I have always had a close bond with my Cousin, and in many respects he reminds me of myself. I'm not saying everything was a bed of roses, but we all learned to live under the same roof amicably and life continued as it had done before. Darrell and I did keep ourselves to ourselves a lot more, but I believe deep down we already knew it was time to leave.

Things came to a head after an uncalled-for family intervention. This was an unnecessary interference into what was essentially a personal matter, problems that just needed to be ironed out and boundaries set. As is the case in many families, talking seems to take a back seat, as situations spiral out of control, everyone burying their head in the sand, hoping issues will just go away. Both Darrell and I are as guilty of that as anyone. Sometimes it takes an argument to brings things to the fore and make us realise there is more to life.

My Cousin Rachel is one of the most honest up front people you will ever meet and despite a rather heated exchange of views, both Darrell and I were glad things were said as they were. This was a row that all three of us would have sorted out, no matter what the outcome, and we just expected things to return to normal. Like best laid plans of mice and men, it didn't work out that way, and an unwarranted text from someone who had not even witnessed the argument, suggesting Darrell and I should consider our position in Portsmouth, finally put the nail in the coffin.

We both decided, after receiving the text, that it was time to go. When people start digging the knife in, without a thought for no one but themselves, let alone two people who had done nothing but help, we knew our time was up. For our own sanity and peace of mind, we had to leave. There was no point staying somewhere where neither of us were wanted. This was a sad ending to our time in Portsmouth, but it also gave us an insight into what some people are really like. When a leopard finally shows its spots and the abuse starts flowing, it is time to head for the hills and not look back.

I will forever be thankful to my Aunt for taking me in at a particularly difficult point in my life. I will also always love my Cousins Rachel and Joe and their respective extended families. However, when I look back, I suppose I was never really a part of their lives anyway; I lived very much on the side lines, and both Darrell and I were quite happy to go back to 'us against the World,' and avoid family ties altogether - it's how we work best.

Initially we just walked away from a situation that had become toxic, but after a chat with my Aunt we returned to see if we could repair the damage that had been done. Despite getting closer to my Cousin Joe, spending a memorable last few months with him, we just couldn't see a future in that house with my family, and we decided to return to Australia and give this place one last chance. This was not an easy decision to make, but as I watched the decline of Britain on the news, and my own personal issues bubbling away, the warning signs were there; I knew it was something we had to do.

I spoke to my employer, who was amazing and fully supported my decision to take a 'lifestyle break' for a year, leaving the option to return to my job on the table, should everything fail down under. I couldn't thank my Manager Sammy enough for all she did for me at that time. Without her, I would have just walked out of Tesco and been left high and dry in the worst of circumstances. Her advice and help ensured a smooth transition to a new life in Australia.

The last month in Britain was a double-edged sword. This was a time I cemented friendships in a way I hadn't before. I had so many leaving parties, I lost count of the number of times I said goodbye, but these were people who wanted to give us a memorable send-off and show just how much they cared. I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and many tears flowed over the weeks before we left. Many of those who waved us on our way have kept in contact and continue to wish us well. All of them made our departure that much harder, and there were times I really thought about staying, but pulled myself back from the brink and continued to strive for a better future in Perth.

The hardest person to leave behind was Jules, tears really did flow on my final day. After all the planning, arranging of flights, hotels and travel, nothing can prepare you for actually saying goodbye to someone close, akin to family. Jules will always be in my life, I will make sure of that. I video call him when I can and message him often. My life is a little darker without him in it, and I wish things had turned out differently and our friendship could have grown into something even more special than it already is. It wasn't meant to be, and I will keep the flame of friendship burning bright from the other side of the World. There will always be a special place in my heart for the best friend who kept me going in the worst of times; of course I will always have regrets, but I also have to look forwards to the future.
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We left Portsmouth on a rainy Saturday morning, after a series of emotional farewells. On that final day, Zerina turned up on the door step, just so she could wave us off. She did what others didn't, people who should have been there, and for that she will, like Jules, remain a friend for life. She also continues to phone, message and video call; as Darrell said to me, just the other day, she would have been his reason to stay. Zerina, along with Jules and my dear friend John, were the family we should have had, the people who truly loved us, and we loved back. You certainly can't choose your family, but you can evidently give it a damn good try!
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Sitting at the airport, waiting for our first flight to Croatia, I was able to reflect on my time in the UK. I had, and still have, a feeling I won't be back any time soon, definitely not to live again, and it was time to let go of the past. At great milestones in my life, I have always thought about the 'what if's' and 'buts.' Our almost knee-jerk reaction to up and leave, had brought home the nature of what we were doing, we were leaving Britain for good, saying farewell to friends for the last time, but happy to leave the crap behind. In a few hours we would be with loving family in Croatia, with people who we cared for deeply, far away from the pain we were leaving behind.

Our trip to Australia was always about saying au revoir. With the UK becoming a distant memory, it was now time to connect with our Croatian Cousins before continuing on to Thailand. Marin and Vlatka had been in our lives since 2008, when Darrell went to Croatia to see family for the first time. We continued to go there year after year, and had many special memories to take with us on our journey home to Oz.

It had been a few years since we last saw them, and we hugged just like it was yesterday. Spending ten days with them at their home in Makarska was a joy and made us realise what family was all about. We had had such a torrid time before we left, we forgot that there were people who actually loved us and within a few short hours of arriving, we were comfortably at home, looked after by people who only had our best interests at heart.
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Spending two weeks in Croatia was just what we both needed. We spent time visiting the Dalmatian Coast, relaxing in one of the many cafés and bars along the Makarska Riviera, gazing at the icy blue sea and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Vlatka and Marin prepared home cooked meals, and we sat talking to the early hours, catching up on family life in this beautiful Dalmatian town. I always feel like I am home when I am in Croatia, and this trip was no exception. This is a family like no other and the love they show is certainly unparalleled in my life; leaving is always the hardest part

Sitting outside a bar in Makarska, drinking a pint of Karlovacko, I heard murmurs from the tourists walking along the promenade. It had become apparent that HM Queen Elizabeth had died back home in Scotland. This amazing lady, the best public servant the UK has ever known, had quietly passed away, leaving a great gaping hole in all our lives.

My respect for the Queen goes back to my childhood, she is the only Monarch I have ever known. I became emotional, as I would if it had been a member of my own family. The Queen was the constant in my life, and she was now no longer there; words can not describe how upset I was.

I suppose in a way, it was quite poignant that she passed away as we were leaving the UK for a new life down under. An era was well and truly coming to an end, and her passing just reinforced the decision I made to leave. I was at least able to toast her passing, and made a promise to myself to watch the funeral from Thailand on the next leg of my journey.
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Leaving Croatia was a wrench, as it always has been, but the time we spent with family was invaluable. We promised not to leave it so long in future and both of us know our family ties are always a reason to return to Europe, as we will do as soon as we are able.

Flying back into London to catch our flight to Bangkok was a rather surreal experience. The death of The Queen was palpable. Walking through the terminal after our arrival, there were TV screens and poster boards everywhere highlighting Her Majesties 70 years on the throne. I had returned to a country in mourning and a very different Kingdom. There was a quiet calmness about the place, as people reflected on just what Elizabeth II meant to them, deep in thought, glazed expression and respectful repose.

I would have loved to have laid flowers in her honour, but with our connecting flight less than 24 hours away, I was lucky enough to have a friend do it for me. Little John was heading to London that day, I was supposed to meet him, but with delays, it had become impossible, and he put a bouquet down in green park from him and me; a gesture I will never forget. This is what friends are for, and that's what made leaving Britain so hard.
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Our two weeks in Bangkok were amazing, more than what we both expected. This was a city we both fell madly in love with, and a place we want to return to as soon as we are able. Bangkok is where modernity meets traditional Asian culture, sitting side by side, down every street, around every corner. There was so much to do and see, that we couldn't have possibly fit in everything we wanted to do. From the BTS Sky Train, Statue of The Golden Buddha and the many Royal Palaces, we weren't disappointed!

We spent the first part of our trip in the notorious Patpong district of the city, and this colourful area really did live up to its reputation. Patpong was an eye-opener in every respect, and we enjoyed some rather fun fuelled nights in the bars and restaurants down Silom Soi 4, where all the gay venues were situated.  This rather hedonistic introduction to Bangkok, left us aghast on more than one occasion, but I am certainly glad we ventured into the dark depths of the city, even for just a short while.

Here I was able to see The late Queen Elizabeth's funeral on my laptop. Sat in The Siam Heritage Hotel, surrounded by oriental splendour, I was able to pay my respects to Her late Majesty and remember with fondness, her legacy and significance for me. It did feel strange being away from the UK at this time, but then this was just the beginning of our new life and as I watched from afar, the penny finally dropped; in all probability we will never live in Britain again. Our life was firmly on track towards our new home in Australia.
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From Patpong and the Siam Heritage, we travelled across the city to Samsen Road, one of the oldest parts of the city. Here we settled into our luxurious hotel, where we enjoyed a more relaxing time. Close to all the major historical sites, we spent our time exploring this stunning part of Bangkok, visiting everything we could.

Darrell and I had firmly removed Britain from our thoughts, preferring to concentrate on the future. Travelling has always helped us forget some of the more difficult periods of our life, and this European/Asian adventure was the tonic we both needed. After several months of hell, we were now able to sit back and enjoy our favourite part of the World, free from pressure and stress, doom and gloom.

Surrounded by the beauty Bangkok offers, we immersed ourselves in the culture of a country that was so far removed from our own, yet strangely felt familiar and homely. This was a place where we both felt at ease, reassured and untroubled.

Opposite The Nuovo City Hotel, where we stayed, sat a small family run restaurant, 'So Samsen.' This became our go-to place and every evening we would go there for dinner. The food was exquisite, cooked by hostess Aom and her colleagues. Aom's credentials were impeccable, having helped set up a Michelin Star restaurant here in Perth, Western Australia, and at a reasonable price, we were able to taste the best of Thai food at a fraction of the price.

The ambiance was perfect; after each meal we sat looking out across the street where we were based, just chatting about the future, stroking the resident cat and soaking in the atmosphere. The girls, at So Samsen, would often sit and speak with us, adding to the friendly 'family' vibe. Both Darrell and I needed 'So Samsen' at that point in our journey, it reminded us, that there were good people out there, and a whole World to explore. I have never felt so secure somewhere in my life, and I know we were both reluctant to leave this pretty little restaurant behind. Its significance will remain a part of us always, as we continue our travels across the World.
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.... and so to Australia where we are today, preparing, hopefully, for the rest of our life together. This has unsurprisingly been the hardest part of our journey. When I left the UK five months ago, I never believed my life would be where it is today. Back then I thought I would get somewhere to live pretty quickly, settle down and continue doing the same job I did in the UK. However, nothing ever turns out the way you want it to. Australia has changed out of all proportion since I was last here in 1997 and the differences are clear to see.

Back in the late 90s, finding somewhere to live was easy, today nothing but. After the worldwide pandemic, property is few and far between, and we are still, after three months, living was Darrell's Mother. This has of course made life very difficult, and we are continuing to battle very much as we did in the UK. This is the worst part of life here in Perth; everything else, however, seems on the surface at least, to be going in our favour.

My application to remain in Australia is in and in a couple of days, on the 28th December, I will finally be 'legally illegal.' My 'Bridging Visa A' will be activated, and I can live and work here unhindered. So far so good, but one has to remember this is only a temporary visa, before my final Spouse or Permanent Resident Visa is issued at some point in the future. Nevertheless, all the fees and solicitor costs are now paid, and it is now a waiting game, to see if I am accepted or not.

I completed my medical assessment several weeks ago and this will either give me the green light to stay, or signal our departure towards pastures new yet again. The results I have received back so far are good, but the major one isn't back yet. As part of the process I had to undergo a chest X-ray and as an ex smoker for the last thirty years, I am hoping nothing too major is flagged up, but only time will tell if that is the case. Everything else is perfect and good to go, I just hope this final hurdle is crossed without too much difficulty.

I have also got a job, one of the first I applied for, and will be starting as a Senior Manager for a large corporation just ten minutes from where I live now. The pay is double what I was earning in Britain, and it looks like this could be the job that secures my future in Australia.

Also on a positive note, we should now be able to buy a property early in the new year. We have both built up substantial savings and with a dual income, we have been told we can borrow up to $500,000. This will allow us to finally have a place of our own, not waste money on rent, and finally, after 27 years together, settle into Australian life.

The decision to leave The UK was always about taking a chance at a new life and as reluctant as I have been in the past, I am glad I threw caution to the wind and grasped the opportunity with both hands. I suppose the last few months in Britain showed me I had nothing to stay for, except the few friends I had made, and of course my Father. These important people will always be in my life wherever I am, here in Australia or in the UK, they will always have a pivotal role to play.

At 51 years old, I am glad to have made a decision to restart and reboot my life and hope everything turns out for the best. Both of us are travellers at heart, so in the worst case scenario, we will just continue what we enjoy doing most and take off on another impromptu expedition, looking out for another place to settle. We only get one chance in this World, and as my Father said to me recently, before I left, I have to make the most of my time and go where my heart desires. Whether this is my final destination or not, is irrelevant, the fact is, we are doing what we love; the hope is of course that the outcome is favourable, and we can finally leave the past behind!
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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