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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'
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Goodbye Aunty My!

11/5/2025

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Today has been filled with mixed emotions, as I heard of the death of one of my dearest friends from the UK. Aunty My, as I called her, was a lady I had known for about twenty-five years and someone I loved with all my heart. After reposting a photo of me, Myra, and her sister Jean, on Facebook, I was informed that Myra passed away at the end of March. I was totally devastated and upset — this was a lady who I regarded as family, along with her sister Jean. She was a friend with a heart of gold, who I can't believe has left this mortal coil.

I have lost count of the number of people who have died, while Darrell and I have been living abroad. Sometimes it feels that everyone who has ever been close to us, are no longer here; the passing of friends, no matter how close, never fails to pull at my heart strings. Aunty My was a wonderful lady, who I had some truly wonderful times with, We would often go out on the lash, (an English saying for going out to get drunk), ending up in a curry house or club afterwards. I have so many happy memories of her and all of us together, that I just don't know where to begin, but begin I will. She deserves to be remembered, as one of the most caring and supportive people you could ever wish to have in your life, and that was so important to me, especially in recent years.

I suppose when I was younger, I was somewhat of a social butterfly, unlike today. Darrell and I would frequently throw large, lavish fancy dress parties in our house in Southampton. So many friends and family would come, dressed in fabulous costumes — we would party the night away, until the early hours; happy times filled with laughter, music and over the top camp partying.  Myra and her sister Jean would always be there celebrating landmark Birthdays, royal weddings and anniversaries. All of my memories from twenty years ago, include Aunty My — in all but name, she was family and a huge part of my life.

As my life changed and Darrell and I moved away to Spain, Aunty Myra, was still there, messaging, chatting, and always sending her love. Not long after we moved to our new house in Gran Alacant, I recall receiving a message from Myra and Jean, who were at Alicante Airport. If I remember rightly, there had been a problem with their booking at a hotel in Benidorm, not too far from where we lived. Myra asked if they could crash for a few days while they sorted out somewhere to stay — well, of course, how could I say no. I was delighted they were coming my way!

Seeing them both turn up in a taxi outside our Spanish casa, was an absolute joy; I was so glad to see these two friends, so rooted in the story of my life, waving outside. After the traumatic circumstances, that brought us to Gran Alacant, nearly ten years ago now, It was so good to see friendly faces. I spent five wonderful days with My and Jean, at a time when I needed it most.

​In 2018 my time in Spain came to an end, as Darrell and I separated to be with our respective Mothers. My Mother and Darrell's Mum were seriously ill, and the only thing we could do was leave our dream home and, in my case, be close to Mum during her final days. It was a sad ending to our deeply personal journey, to a new life in Gran Alacant, that we haven't fully recovered from, even today.

It was a frantic time, as I tried to sort out somewhere to stay in the UK on my return. Aunty Myra immediately stepped up, saying I could stay for as long as I wanted. Towards the end of May, after an emotional farewell to friends in Spain, I arrived at Myra's. There was a massive hug and a home cooked meal on the table — I truly felt happy, content and thankful to be with someone, who always made me feel welcome. 

From Myra's I moved on to my Aunty's in Portsmouth; all the while we kept in contact, never losing that connection we had built up over many years. She was a real support during some difficult days. While Darrell remained in Australia caring for his Mum, I was so glad she was at the end of a phone.

​In 2020 the Pandemic took hold, and the World shut down. This was the most difficult time in my life. Darrell was locked down in Australia, and I was locked down in the UK. Alone, I reached out to Myra, and throughout the duration of COVID-19 we spoke every single week. I knew then just how sick Myra was. She had COPD, and I could tell how each phone call, would be more difficult than the last. She insisted I kept phoning, however, and not to stop. We talked about everything, from the Pandemic and the emergency packages she received every couple of days from a local charity, her beautiful family, and the memories we both shared. This was someone who was fighting harder and harder, and I encouraged her to be positive, happy, and always look to the future — God knows she tried, bless her!

The last time I heard from Myra was at Christmas, as I did every year, receiving her neatly written card. This was a security blanket for me at least. This card was a link to my past that was no longer there, and I bloody missed it, and her, her sister Jean, and the great, memorable times we had together. I can't tell you the amount of times, I just wanted to go back to what was the happiest time in my life. However, having a little piece of Myra here with me in Australia, was just enough to jog my memory and keep me fighting, just as she had fought for so long.

​COPD is an insidious disease — one day you feel fine, the next not. Sometimes Myra was full of life on the phone, and others not, but she was still the happy, glamorous, perfectly manicured lady, I had always adored. I just hoped and prayed she would be fine, putting the worst outcome to the back of my mind, until today. I will miss her with all my heart, and will put her last Christmas card up every year, next to Mums. Remembering her, and the zest she had for life, will be a gentle reminder of the funny, beautiful lady she was, and I was honoured to call her my friend.
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We spent Saturday afternoon with an old school friend of Darrell's, having lunch in Mandurah, along the coast. Despite feeling down about Myra, I was glad of the company. Initially, I just wanted to be alone, but I am glad I went. In my heart I toasted Myra, her life and our friendship. Like me, she enjoyed a beer or two, so it felt apt, to be sat in a bar by the sea in Australia, thinking about her and the memories we shared. She was a truly remarkable lady, who always looked out for me and Darrell, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Each loss of a friend hits me harder than the last. Myra's has been the hardest of all, but after everything she had been through in her life, I know she has gone to a much better place. As I have gotten older, I realise just how important people are to me now. I have made my family over the years, not in the traditional sense, but through choice, mutual love and respect, and of course out of fate. Fate has brought all of us together — a hodgepodge of diverse individuals who, under normal circumstances, wouldn't have ever met. Thankfully, we did, and I am able to write about Aunty Myra today.

My life became a little lonelier today, less rich, emptier, and a hell of a lot sadder. Rest in Peace, Aunty Myra — you touched my heart, which is why it hurts so badly. Without you, my life would have been all the poorer; your memory will live on, your laugher will continue to fill my home, and your kindness and courage will be a reminder of how brave you were, and how loved you will always be… Goodnight, Aunty My, sleep well!

… And finally — Thank you all for your Birthday messages. I no longer celebrate in the same way I used to. At 54 years old, I have become rather distant from significant milestones, that just add more years to one's life. With the death of Myra fresh in my mind, my Birthday serves as a reminder, to live my life in the best way I can…
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Reflections of a 90s Club Kid!

16/3/2025

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This week, I managed to talk to my old friend, Dom, back in The United Kingdom. Sadly, these days, we don't talk as often as we should, but it does make it all the more special when we do.

It's fantastic to see that some people just don't change, and Dommy is just the same as I've always known him. When you live so far away from friends, you do tend to value the times you catch up more and more. The fact is, I've become rather sentimental in my old age, and as today's video shows, I am reflecting on the past more and more; that is definitely a sign of aging, and appreciating the memories I made, getting to where I am today.

​In today's video, I am referencing a particularly memorable time in my life. In fact, I think it is safe to say, the most important period in my life so far. The years 1990–1995 were years of growth, self-discovery and finally coming to terms with my sexuality. This particular chapter really defined the person I am today, and despite coming of age at a time of great discrimination and inequality, I was grateful for the people who were a part of my life at the time. Without them, things would have been much tougher than then they already were. My naturally anxious disposition was kept at bay, through the influences of friends, who knew me more, than I probably knew myself.
In 1990, I was a respectable civil servant, responsible for planning a large area of London for the 1991 census, in my role as an Enumeration District Planner. This was a great job with amazing prospects for the future, but as I cautiously navigated my way in the world, I threw caution to the wind. I gave up my career, for a life, that even I couldn't have imagined. 

This was the age I discovered my sexuality and came out to close friends. My first boyfriend, in 1990, was a stepping stone to the life I lead, 35 years later. Initially hesitant, as I denied who I really was, I soon found kindred folk, other gay people just like me, as I returned to full-time education in Southampton.

I suppose I could say my life spiralled out of control at this point, as University life became one long party, where lectures, work, and knuckling down often took second place. Maybe if I had chosen a course that I was actually interested in, things would have been very different. However, I did what was expected of me, and not what I really wanted to do. The actor and writer that really pushed my buttons, were just too far out of reach. In my mind, I would never be good enough, so I gave up at the first hurdle.

​Despite my failings, which are many, I wouldn't change this period for the World. Not only did I discover the person inside me, I also met the most eclectic group of people I could have ever wished for. My network was vast and diverse, and I am lucky enough to still be in contact with many of these friends even today. That is testament to their welcoming nature, and an appreciation of the often chaotic times we all spent together, at a time of World change, and the birth of equal rights for all. 

This was five years that aged me out of all recognition, but for the right reasons. In my early twenties, I finally discovered what being gay was all about. I made so many mistakes along the way, hanging out with the wrong people, doing things I shouldn't and not working hard enough to succeed financially, but the experiences I had were worth every bad choice I made.

All of my strong, enduring relationships, were born between 1990-1995, this tumultuous, topsy-turvy five-year time frame, including my current marriage to husband Darrell in 1995. Had I done the right thing and continued my career in Her Majesties Civil Service, my life would have been very different today.  The disparity would have been stark, so much so, I may have even been married with kids, waiting for the day, I could finally come out, like so many I have known, and often criticised myself.

So no, I wasn't the success I planned to be, I battle more today than I ever have done, but my affluence is my encounters, exploits, adventures and endurances, culminating in the long, loving relationship I still enjoy. That's all that matters, that's everything I ever wanted — the money, fame, and fortune were nothing more than a superficial dream!
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29th Anniversary — The challenges of a gay relationship, from opposite sides of the World!

22/9/2024

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Today, we are celebrating our 29th Wedding Anniversary — a life sentence by anyone's standards. After another exhausting year, we are still together, still going strong, and above all, still striving for a better future. 

From its very inception, our relationship was tested to its limits. We have both been on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, as we navigated the ups and downs of married life. Of course, our time together hasn't been conventional in any sense of the word. When you fall in love with someone overseas, you become part of a system that seeks only to keep you apart.

As a same-sex couple, who met in 1995, we were under no illusions about the difficulties we would face. Homosexual relationships, such as ours, were not recognised in law, and we fought hard to avoid separation, finally being allowed to stay together in The UK in 2000.

Today is about celebrating another important milestone in our life, as partners together, and, as we look forward to our 30th anniversary next year, we are mindful of the challenges still to come. In two years time, I will finally become an Australian citizen and for the first time in our life as a couple, we can both relax, taking a huge sigh of relief. Knowing the legal constraints that have literally kept us on our toes, all these years, have been lifted, and our life has become 'normal again' (the first time in over 30 years), will be a weight lifted. No longer checked at every twist and turn, just allowed to settle down together, and become the couple we have always dreamt of being!
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Living The Quiet Life Down Under - Nearly two years since we left the UK!

27/8/2024

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Wow, how time has flown! It has been nearly two years since we left the UK, and what a productive 24 months we have had. This time two years ago, I was busy saying my farewells to family, friends, and colleagues. It was an emotional time for me, especially since I had made some wonderful connections during my time living in Portsmouth. These were the people that got me through the tough times, when Darrell was locked down in Australia and the pandemic was raging across the World. Without these people, life would have been harder than it already was. As my World got even tougher, during our final few months in Britain, all of these people became the family I had lost.
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Darrell and I have managed to stay in contact with family and friends from across the globe. We both owe them a great debt of gratitude for all they did for us, making our final weeks happy and memorable. I miss them every day; a photo on a wall cannot make up for physical contact, but both of us have memories that resonate every single day, and thankfully we have social media and video calls, to keep those friendships alive.

My oldest, dearest friend, Ramona, celebrated a milestone Birthday recently, and we spoke to each other for over an hour. Chatting about the old times, shared friends, and memorable times spent together over 32 years. Those important milestones, that we both share, have been instrumental in keeping me firmly in Australia. Ramona knows where Darrell and I are better off, and she has always been honest about where she believes the best place for us is. Ramona and I have always had an honest and open friendship, we have shared so much over the years, her advice is invaluable; she is actually one of the few people I listen to!

We also managed to speak to one of our closest friends in Portsmouth, Zerina. Not only did I volunteer for Zerina at Cancer Research in Portsmouth, but Darrell also worked for her as her Assistant Manager. She was one of the most influential people in my life, when I lived in Britain, and she is always, without exception, a joy to be around. We had some hilarious, fabulous times working together, and she has become a very close friend. She is the big sister I never had, and was a sounding board for all my anxieties. In many respects we were like chalk and cheese, but like Ramona, she always gave wonderful advice, which I listened to without exception. 

These are just two people I think about daily; there are just too many others to mention, but all of them lifted me up at times when I needed it most. Unfortunately, we don't have the same friendships here, but that is a conscious choice we both made, in order to forge a successful start to our life in Australia. It has been essential to establish ourselves, and work hard in order to succeed in this new venture. The time for friendships may or may not come, but Darrell and I have each other, and that is all that matters… For now!
Of course, we do have our two cats to keep us company — Pippa and Akira. Darrell and I have always had cats in our life, for as long as I can remember, when living in the UK and Spain. Sadly, we lost our last two companions when we lived in Gran Alacant; if I am honest, I was reluctant to get any more animals — not because I don't like them, but because of the travelling life we have always led.

Both of us have travelled so much over the years, we never knew where we would be from one day to the next. My life is now firmly rooted in Australia, but it isn't a country I necessarily want to live in forever. I would like to retire to Spain or Asia at some point, and having animals will make that move more difficult. In the end, however, I agreed that we couldn't live without pets, because of what may or may not happen in the future. Our two cats really do make our home, and if the opportunity to move abroad comes, then both of them will make the journey with us. These two are our children, and wherever we are, they will be too!
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Darrell and I have rewarding, successful jobs that we love. We have managed to find the perfect careers, that we both enjoy. If I am honest, I never believed I would find a secure, well-paid position this quickly. The employment market in Western Australia is rather volatile at the moment, but we have both persevered, and settled into a positive routine, that allows us to enjoy the lifestyle we have now become accustomed to. Wages are significantly higher here, compared to the UK, and five times higher than they are in Spain — I am well aware of how lucky we are!

Approaching my mid-fifties, I never believed I would be where I am today. I have worked in many jobs, and have always been able to adapt to my changing circumstances quickly. Today I am back doing what I love best, in a retail management capacity, working with some amazing people, who have become important to my success and wellbeing in Perth.

In time, I hope to restart volunteering as well, rather like I did in the UK. It has always been essential for me to give something back to the community in which I live, whether through writing in local magazines or dedicating time helping others who may be going through a difficult time. For now, with changes on the horizon, I am looking forward to the new adventures to come. There are plenty more years ahead to dedicate to all the passions I have in life, including my blogging today. Until the right voluntary opportunity arises, I am happy to do the best I can, in an industry I love.
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First and foremost, I will always be English, it is part of who I am, and I am proud of my heritage. In many respects, my home in Perth is a homage to all things British. The memories I bought with me, are a reminder of home, and the pictures and photo's that adorn my walls are distinctly European in feel. 

Darrell and I have travelled extensively, especially in Europe, and both of us are fond of the European continent. Despite loving the UK, its politics, eccentricities, culture and society, I am also a Europhile. Both of us lived in Spain, have family in Croatia, owned a house in France, and fell in love with Sorrento in Italy. We will always be Europeans at heart and if it hadn't had been for Brexit, we would probably still be living in Spain. Having lost my Spanish residencia during the pandemic, both Darrell and I made the conscious choice to build a life away from the UK.

With that said, I pride myself on the Britishness I hold dear, even my bad teeth. I have a painting of the late Queen on my wall, photo's of our travels around the UK on display, and of course, British staples in the pantry. I always try to buy British food in the supermarkets when I can, rather like I did in Spain, and always make a beeline for the international food isle in Coles. From Marmite, English Cheddar and Scottish Oat Cakes, to Branson Pickle, HP Sauce and Eccles Cakes, they are all there. Thankfully Aussie culture is very similar to back home, and food wise, I fit in quite well… apart that is, from the overload of Chicken Parmi in restaurants, and the fact that Australians can not cook a British Roast.

There are many aspects of the UK I miss, but I can live the English life right here if I so chose. I have been known to watch UK TV all day and then, in the height of the Aussie summer, pop down the beach and enjoy a lifestyle most Brits could only dream of — living the best of both Worlds!
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... And finally, I still manage to keep fit and healthy, something I have been doing since 2019. Then I weighed a staggering 110 kg, smoked cigarettes (Up to 80 a day at one stage) and drank like a fish (a hangover from my days living in Spain and the 1 euro pints of Mahou.) After a brush with health anxiety, which I still suffer with today, I made a decision to change my lifestyle. Today I weigh 74 kg, although I have weighed as low as 70 kg, and I am not as strict as I once was. I have my good and bad days, but on average I have managed to maintain a healthy weight for five years now and have no intention of giving up.

This week we took a walk to the John Forrest National Park for a 6 km walk. The weather was rather grey and overcast, which made me feel quite at home and was ideal weather for walking. This park reminds me of El Clot De Galvany in Spain where we used to go walking, and The New Forest back in The UK. These are the places that keep my fitness regime on track and allows me to explore the local area. 

I still walk every day in Australia, far more than I ever did in Spain and on a par with the miles I walked when I lived in Portsmouth. I don't drive a car, nor have I ever wanted to, so walking is my main means of transport if you like. My two legs take me everywhere, and I am actually really proud of that fact. If I did drive, I believe I would be in worse physical shape today than I am — definitely overweight and most certainly a heart attack waiting to happen. Walking is somewhat of a passion now, and a pastime I intend to keep up, wherever I live.

If these last two years in Australia have taught me anything, it's the resilience and determination I have to survive. I have had so many ups and downs in life, that a little thing, like moving to the other side of the World, wasn't going to stop me from achieving my true ambitions. I have grown to love this country, simply because it has given me everything I ever wanted, and that is important. Without Australia, I would probably still be underachieving in Portsmouth, in a country that has quite simply had its day. For the first time in a long time, I feel optimistic for the future, and can finally see light at the end of the tunnel… Life is indeed what you make it, and we are both giving it one hundred percent — things can only get better!
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New Car, Politics, Arthritis, and The Weather!

3/6/2024

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Once again, as I continue to recover from an arthritis flare up, this week's catch-up will be mainly in video form. I suppose as time moves on, I will be video blogging more and more. That's a little disappointing for me, since my real, true love, is writing. But I am a diarist first and foremost, so whatever medium I choose, the real satisfaction for me, is in the process of recording events, no matter how mundane they are.

I finally found out what is going on with my left hand this week, after delaying the inevitable for too long. After seeing a hand specialist, I have a definitive answer, I actually have osteoarthritis. After the weather took a dramatic change for the worst this week, and the rain set in, I was subjected to severe pain. Really, I should have put two and two together, but once again, I just thought the worst. In many respects I was relived at the diagnosis, it could have been far worse. My anxiety told me it was Rheumatoid Arthritis, thankfully it was the lesser of two evils.

Darrell also picked up his new car on Wednesday. After driving our old, but highly reliable car around, for a little over a year, we took the plunge and bought a brand-new MG; taking everything into consideration, buying new was the best thing to do. The new car has a seven-year warranty and cost us less than we thought. By paying outright for it, we have also saved a fortune in interest. Darrell seems very happy with it, though for me, it's just a car — The next thing on the list is a new kitchen, far more important in my book.
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Over the last few weeks we have been able to spend some quality time with Mum and took her out for Sunday lunch on Mother's Day. My Mother in Law doesn't get out much these days, but she seemed to enjoy the short time we were out. Not venturing too far, we took her to a local pub in Midland, called 7th Avenue, which was actually surprisingly nice. I personally wouldn't choose to eat in my local city, but I may, just may, go there again.

Of course, the day was tinged with sadness, after the loss of my own Mother in 2019. Mother's Day in Australia does fall at a different time of year than the UK, so it did feel a little strange celebrating in May. The reality is, I am just glad I still have a Mother, albeit my husband's Mum, to enjoy the day with.

Reflecting on the last few weeks, I have had quite a productive time. My new job continues to go well, and I am enjoying my new role immensely. It does feel good to be finally established in our new home —  just me, Darrell and the cats, and now the new car. For once in our life, everything seems to be going our way. Being the realist I am, I am just waiting for the first thing to go wrong. Nevertheless, I have been told to just relax and enjoy my new life. Australia has given both of us another chance to succeed, and so far, we ain't doing too badly.
On Sunday I was able to enjoy a few hours with ex-colleagues, now friends, from my previous job. This certainly isn't a regular occurrence, especially if one considers when I started working here in Australia. At the end of 2022, COVID restrictions had become more or less a thing of the past, but as a hangover from this time, many businesses were still conducting meetings and interviews via Zoom and other similar apps. The truth is, going forward, I believe this is how most businesses will conduct themselves indefinitely. Technology continues to move along at a frantic pace, and communicating with friends, colleagues and family, via video conferencing platforms, will almost certainly become the main way, all of us stay in contact in the future.

Except for one occasion, I haven't met my colleagues in any social capacity, so haven't had the opportunity to forge bonds and friendships. Sunday was about spending time with those I have worked with for nearly a year and a half and interacting on an entirely different level — not on a Zoom call, telephone, or behind an LED screen.

Despite nursing a sore head today, I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening. I haven't done an awful lot of socialising since I arrived in Western Australia, but I hope this will be the start of a regular get-together. Great conversation, good company, copious amounts of alcohol and food — the ideal recipe for the perfect evening out.
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With winter well and truly here, I have certainly started to feel the arthritis. With a diagnosis, I can now plan my life accordingly. There are plenty of other people out there who suffer from aches and pains, and I am not anything special, but as someone who suffers with health anxiety, I understand just how much these things play on my mind.

 I never look forward to this time of year, whatever country I am living in. The older I get, the more I crave the heat and the hope is, given time, Darrell and I will eventually move somewhere hot, all year round. That's a long way in the future for now, in the meantime, like everyone else, I just have to get on with life, whatever the weather. This winging Pom isn't going to change anytime soon, so expect a lot more of the same!

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Thanks for the Birthday messages!

12/5/2024

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New Challenges, Infection, Apprehension and a Suspicious Lump!

23/4/2024

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I feel like my feet haven't touched the ground since I came home from Vietnam. What with one thing and another, I have really had a packed week; some of it good, some of it not so great. Despite everything, I am still alive and kicking, and looking forward to more challenges. After returning from holiday, I had a lot on my agenda, but nothing ever turns the way you expect, does it — this was certainly a week, where nothing went right — or rather, as planned!

Friday was the last day in my present job; I have worked for one of Australia's largest bedding companies since January 2023 and have decided to move into a different area of retail. This was a rather heart-wrenching decision for me, since I have enjoyed working for this uniquely Australian, heritage brand, since I have been there. More than anything, I will miss the amazing people I have worked with for the last fifteen months. I was welcomed as Manager, and will leave having learnt much about the business and the people who keep it functioning on a daily basis.

My future projects are very much centred around the same parent company I am with, but will be moving to another subsidiary of the business, once again as Store Manager. This will be a complete change from my current role, but a position that allows me to focus on a different aspect of the retail trade.

It has been an incredible, productive time working with the team at Midland, and I am sure I will continue to achieve success in a new setting. Surrounded by the support of new colleagues, who like those at Midland, have been invaluable to the success I have achieved in Australia, I am looking forward to new challenges in 2024.
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My last day in Midland was on Friday — it was an emotional time, as I cleared my desk, ready for the new incumbent to take charge. Saying goodbye to staff, now friends, has been a wrench, but I know this business will continue to flourish without me.  As I left the building, preparing for my new job starting on Tuesday, I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Since returning from Vietnam, I have been suffering from an infection of unknown origin. After grazing my arm on day one of the holiday, I did what I thought was the right thing, and covered it with a plaster. You can never be too careful when travelling in a tropical country, and I didn't want to cause any more problems; unbeknown to me, that's exactly what I was doing.

I left the band-aid on for a couple of days, but by the time I removed it, not only was there an inflamed graze, but there were also a number of new lesions growing around it. I had a shower, cleaned the wound, and covered it once again, changing the dressing every few days. Sadly, whatever was going on, was getting worse, and by the time I returned home, this infection was looking pretty bad. By Friday, after saying my farewells to colleagues at work, I was in so much pain, I went to A&E at St John of God Hospital in Midland, hoping to be seen.

Now this is a good hospital, but the Emergency Department was a nightmare, with up to six hours waiting ahead. I may well have been in pain, but I just wasn't prepared to wait for that length of time, in a particularly volatile and charged environment. After three hours, I decided to leave and work on a plan B.

On Saturday morning, after a terrible nights sleep, I decided to go to St John Urgent Care. This is a privately run agency, where you can pay up to $250.00 for an appointment. Admittedly, the clinic is top class compared to ED, so I wasn't too bothered about paying the fees involved. I was first in the line and seen within 2 minutes by a Doctor. He took one look at the lesions and lump under my arm, and immediately referred me to Hospital, since this was too complex for them to deal with. He explained it shouldn't be too busy at this time, and I will probably go straight through. Reluctantly, I left, and headed back to Hospital a short walk away.

The Doctor at the Urgent Care Unit was right, I went straight in and through to see a consultant, who looked at the two problems I was dealing with. After checking the lump under my arms, she said that it should be removed ASAP. Now, judging by British NHS standards, I was expecting this to be carried out in a few months. However she explained, I would be taken down to theatre within the hour, given a general anaesthetic, and it would be 'whipped out' straight away. Shocked at the expeditiousness, I signed the consent form and waited to be taken down.
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The standard of service and speed of the treatment I received was exceptional. I was allocated my own private room before and after the operation, given a rather large hot meal that tasted delicious, and free access to television while I recovered. I was obviously a little alarmed at how quick this lump was removed, thinking the worst, but I have been reassured that this is standard practice here in Australia. Everything was so fast, it was impressive. Now, I just have to wait for the results of the operation to come back. Then I should find out what the infection is and what the lump was; until then it's another waiting game.

I have been given a week off work and have delayed starting my new job until next week. At the moment a carer is attending every morning to dress the wounds, which appear to be fine, healing nicely and certainly not giving me any pain. For now, I need to spend the time recuperating and recovering, from this impromptu operation.

I will be walking every morning as part of that recovery, having been told it will be good for convalescence. Physical exercise accelerates the healing process by 25%, so that gives me the excuse to continue with a good, healthy exercise regime.

I have to say, this has knocked me for six a bit, but it does go to show, that sometimes the health anxiety I suffer from, is a good thing. Something told me what was happening to me wasn't normal, and pushed me to get it seen too immediately, and thankfully I did. Since losing so much weight and looking after myself, I have become far more bodily aware, and that is welcome, because for the first time in my life, I am actually doing something right! Today I may well be feeling under the weather, but because I am fitter and healthier, I am able to deal with whatever comes my way, that much better. Looking after yourself shouldn't be a chore, it should be a life enhancing experience.

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Destination Perth!

23/3/2024

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The last seven days have been busy, certainly the busiest for me, since I arrived in Australia. I have had determination in my eyes, as I sought so secure a new job. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the job I have, but I am well aware that it is time to move on. Of course, these days I have no fear of the unknown; after traversing the World for a number of years, I have no qualms about leaving my current circumstances behind, and heading forwards, towards adventures.

Over the last week or so, I have literally blitzed the job market here in Perth. There are many positions on offer, and I have been inundated with interviews, and indeed, offers of employment. Trying to juggle interviews, conducted on Zoom from Sydney, has probably been my biggest challenge. Attending an appointment at seven o'clock in the morning isn't ideal, but luckily for me, I am an extremely early riser, and these days at least, I am at my best in the early hours.

With several firm job offers under my belt, I believe I have made the right decision for me, at this juncture. I have decided to accept an offer of more money and allowances, in a business closer to home. It will also allow me to continue with a lifestyle, I have become accustomed to. This wasn't the position paying the most, but taking travel and commuting into account, this option affords me the best opportunity at my time of life.

I can't stress enough, just how different the pay rates are between the Britain and here. We are paid substantially more down under, meaning I earn well over and above the average wage in the UK and Australia. This is probably the first time in my life, that I have absolutely no financial worries; so despite my moans and groans about this place, I am well aware where I am better off.
With employment top of my list of priorities, you would think I haven't had time to do anything else, but both Darrell and I have found the time to relax and enjoy everything Perth has to offer.

Last Sunday we travelled into the city for a meal, and show at the Perth Concert Hall. I had booked a table at The Italian Street Kitchen, in Raine Square, Perth. I have been past this restaurant many times before, but never had the pleasure of eating there. From the outside it is just an ordinary building, but inside, the ambience, feel, and atmosphere is uniquely Italian, in every respect. This was not another pastiche of Italian culinary delights, this is as authentic as it gets down under, and for me, it was a delight. I was transported back to my time in Naples and Sorrento, and I was impressed by the staff, standard of service and the quality of the food.

The Italian Street Kitchen is a little more expensive than other places we have eaten, but that was only to be expected. Nothing is cheap in Australia anyway, so if you have to pay $60 more for a meal, then I can live with that. You do get what you pay for, and I was not disappointed and will certainly be back.

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From The Italian Street Kitchen, we walked the short distance to Perth Concert Hall. This homage to Brutalist architecture, is not a place I have been to before; as I entered the building, I was impressed by the sheer size of the building. The atrium was light, bright and airy — here I bought a few books signed by Mariam Margolyes, the Australian/British national treasure we were there to see. This was a show I had been looking forward to, and I wasn't disappointed.

Darrell and I had seats very close to the stage and a great view of Miriam. This was a one woman show, with a female journalist host — for all intents and purposes, interviewing Miriam, or at least asking her questions. This was not a set-up I was used to, but it worked well, and I was impressed by Miriam's candour and frank conversation.

Miss Margolyes spoke about everything, from her life to politics, and even gave several readings from Charles Dickens.  As usual there was no holing back, as she spoke in raw, uncensored language, in her own unique way. She has a voice you just can't forget; it is a voice I have known for many years, growing up with her on the television, in films and of course the theatre. She was an absolute joy to listen to, and I was glad I had booked the tickets, despite Darrell's initial reluctance.
The bush fires have been engulfing the area around Midvale this week, showing just how vulnerable the area around our home is. You could see the smoke rising behind the houses on the opposite side of the road, and it was quite scary to observe. The people in the hills around Midvale really do suffer more than most, and with high winds, the flames were well and truly being fanned.

Luckily we are far enough away to feel protected, but nevertheless we do get a lot of smoke settling in the suburb. This can cause major throat issues for me — sore throat, coughing and wheezing are just some of the symptoms all of us suffer from. For those who have asthma, the difficulties are even worse. This is one of the major downsides to living in Perth, but one that I'm sure I will get used to over time.
This weekend we were once again back in Perth CBD for the annual Japanese festival. Both Darrell and I love all things Asian, so this was a must-see for us. If I am honest, it was rather disappointing. There wasn't mush to see or do, so we left after an hour, walking back into the city for lunch at The Shoe, in Yagan Square. This is a place we used to frequent often in the past, but we haven't been there in a while. The food is bog-standard Australian fodder, but the staff are lovely, and it is always a joy sitting on the balcony looking out over the city — even with all the construction work going on at the moment.

Perth is the most isolated capital city in the World, and at times it really does feel that way. There are things to do in the city, but not on the same scale as London, New York or Sydney. I do find the lack of amenities here frustrating at times, especially when the city closes down at such an early hour. It does feel like I am living in a time warp, back in the 1990s, with similar shops, businesses, and restaurants also shutting prematurely.

When you move to Perth, you must be prepared for the difference in lifestyle. This is a very quiet state in all respects, especially when you consider its vast size, in comparison to its population. When events and occasions happen in the city, it is important for me to grab those with open arms. Listening to Mariam Margolyes is a positive connection to my childhood and life back in the UK; being able to dip in and out, whilst living the quiet life, is a blessing. It allows me to return to my rather routine, mundane lifestyle, happy that I have at least been reminded of happy times back home.

Perth, as a capital city, probably needs to do more for the people who live and work here. They need to encourage big name acts to come more often, and they need to rethink some of the more archaic laws that seem to hold this state back. I am happy to call this place home, but I would also like to play an active role in this diverse part of Australia, in the same way I would in Sydney or Brisbane, for example. This city and state has much to offer, and much more to give, so please give us a reason to celebrate, a reason to feel satisfied and a reason to feel alive!

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Reflective mood — Remembering the last eight years!

12/2/2024

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I've definitely been in a reflective mood this week. It has been eight years since Darrell and I left for Spain in 2016. Looking back at that period can at times be traumatic. The circumstances behind our departure, and my reluctance to leave Britain, has thankfully become a distant memory. The life enhancing experience of living in Gran Alacant, has become a special reminder of a carefree period, that allowed me to recover from one of the worst periods of my life. Without Spain, I don't think I would be the success it is today.

Spain certainly taught me a lot about life; the expat community, of which I was a part, was a great source of inspiration and hope at such a challenging time. These were the people that got me through some pretty dark days, when my Mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and Darrell returned home. All of them, always, without fail, lifted me up when I was feeling low.

I have so many regrets about leaving Spain in 2018, but with my Mother also seriously ill and Darrell having to care for Mum in Australia more and more, it was a necessary departure. The timing wasn't great, with Britain voting to leave the EU, but the reality was, it just wasn't meant to be. Our dreams faded into obscurity, and we adapted to our new life apart from one another, as we spent time with our respective families on opposite sides of the World.

Today I look back at my time in Gran Alacant with fondness and have nothing but good memories of the years I spent there. If I could go back tomorrow, I would; if we had moved there a few years before, I believe our life would be very different today. Still I can't change history and despite having to leave my dream behind, both Darrell and I are finally making a success of our life, in a way we haven't in the past.

Sadly, people aren't the same in Australia, but sometimes you just have to do what is right for your future. Friendships and companionship is of course important, but earning money has to take priority. I could never have earned the wages I earn here, in Spain, and for that reason I am better off where I am. However, we will both be back in Gran Alacant at some point and hopefully retire back to the place we once called home!
This week is also the first anniversary of us buying our first home in Australia. It has certainly been an eventful and expensive year. Nevertheless, It does feel good to finally have our own place again, especially during the middle of a housing crisis down under, and we were lucky to have been fortunate, in securing a mortgage at such a difficult time economically. I do have my moans and groans about Australia, but when I look back at everything we have achieved, I really shouldn't complain. This country has been good to us, in a way the UK and Spain never were, so despite my misgivings, we are now firmly rooted in Australian life.

On Sunday, by way of celebration, we took a drive to Scarborough beach, where we met an old friend of Darrell's, Danae; She is a breath of fresh air. I do find most Australians rather stand-offish, so spending time with someone who has been welcoming and open has been heartening. With both of us working hard, we don't get a chance to see many people, when we do, it definitely puts a new perspective on life.

After a week of soaring temperatures of 45 degrees, and with more to come, I am gradually settling into Australian life. The heat has never really bothered me if I am honest, and the sun has always brought a smile to my face, but I do understand why so many people get down because of it; at times it can be relentless.

I still can't help thinking what could have been, if we had stayed in Spain, but on good days, like today, my positivity returns. I have to keep telling myself, that at least I am not living in the UK at the moment. Unlike the vast majority, I have been afforded the chance of a new life in a country far away from the unhappy memories of the past, and for that I am truly grateful… Now who could possibly ask for more!

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The Perfect Birthday Present.

3/12/2023

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Last Sunday, Darrell celebrated his 52nd Birthday. The weather was in the high thirties, unlike previous years, when he spent his Birthday celebrating in the UK. This year, we spent the day together in the city, toasting the day, with a few pints of Stella and a Sunday roast at Durty Nellys!

Both of us have passed so many milestones over the last few years, that we have really lost count of, the number of important dates that have made us the people we are today. With Darrell reaching the grand old age of 51, it is clear, neither of us are getting any younger, and as we both settle into Australian life, memories of Birthdays past were on my mind.

In our younger years, both of us would have celebrated for days on end, usually with a fancy dress party in our home. The house would be full to bursting with friends and family, and we would party the years away in the company of those who were closest. A little bit of me remains firmly rooted in the traditions of our past, and I do miss our old life, especially the people who used to be in it. Today everything seems rather laid back and ordinary, but in truth, that's all either of us wants. Our life is so far removed from the way it was, it is barely recognisable. Darrell and I have become old, set in our ways, and happy to lead a more tranquil existence.

After a few pints in the Belgian Beer Café, we headed to our favourite Irish pub for a delicious roast. Durty Nelly's is slap bang in the middle of the city, just off Murray Street, surrounded by tall skyscrapers, His Majesties Theatre, shops, café's and historic buildings. Inside it is a world away from the neighbourhood of which it is a part. Its traditional ambience offers a welcome break from the busy commuter traffic outside, and it is a joy to just sit, relax, and remember similar occasions back home in the UK. If we weren't ten thousand miles away, you could almost imagine you were in the heart of the English or indeed Irish countryside.

After a delicious meal, we headed to London Court for an Ice Cream in the now searing heat. London Court is a pastiche of the many medieval streets and lanes in the UK. Of course, it is rather different in reality, but for a homesick Brit like me, it is a great place to visit from time to time; it does evoke memories of my life in Britain and the narrow lane, does offer respite from the hot Australian sun. It really is worth a visit, the next time you are here.
In the evening of Darrell's Birthday, we received a message from Jo, the lady who has been fostering and rearing little Akira. After a two-week wait, he was now ready to come to us. Happily, Jo wanted to drop Akira off in the evening, after we finished our Chicken Treat takeaway with Mother Mary and friend Beth. I told you, our life has changed; this Birthday couldn't be more different from the ones we enjoyed in Britain. To be honest, we couldn't wait to get Akira home and welcome him as part of our family.

He was a little nervous at first, but soon enough became the terror we know today. Akira is full of life, and has a huge personality for a little kitten. Pippa is less than impressed by her new house mate, but as I write this blog today, she is finally coming round to her new companion. Thankfully, the trauma she suffered in the past hasn't caused too many long term issues. She is still very timid and anxious around Akira, lashing out on occasion, but that is really just part of the course. When you introduce a new kitten to an established household, you do expect a few problems at the beginning, so everything is crossed for a long term bond that will last the test of time.

Presently, we are locking Akira in one of the spare back bedrooms while we are at work, just to give Pippa some space. I am also a bit concerned about Akira being around the Christmas tree. I have already caught her in the middle of it, after climbing up the trunk, early one morning. After reading horror stories of cats becoming tangled in fairy lights, sometimes causing fatal injuries, I am mindful of the accidents that could happen. For now, we are just keeping a close eye on him, trying to teach him what's right and what's wrong: difficult when you are dealing with a small, inquisitive kitten!

As we approach Christmas, the temperature is rising here in Perth. Looking at the news, I can see the snow falling in the UK, a feature of the British winter I miss. However, I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the weather wherever you are. You may well wish you were in the heat down under, but for me, a small dose of frost wouldn't go a miss: we always want what we can't have!


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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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