It has been another difficult week, something that seems to be happening more and more recently. However hard my circumstances are at the moment, I do try and take some time out and chill when I can, even if it is only for a few hours. After a shift on Saturday, Darrell and I managed to grab a couple of those important moments and have a meal together, Despite this, I could tell he wasn't it the best frame of mind, after having a particularly hard day at work.

Confrontation isn't an activity I relish, so after a rather terrible meal, it was the last thing I needed. I can handle most arguments by simply walking away, preferring to retreat to safety, but on rare occasions this isn't possible. Having been dragged into conflict, I normally do what I can to defuse situations, but that doesn't always work. On Saturday evening, Darrell and I packed a few things and left Portsmouth, having no intention of returning. I had finally reached the end of my tether and just needed to get away. Some situations feel unsalvable, and it is necessary to just up sticks and go as far away as possible.

Not for the first time, we headed to the train station with a large full case and three packed bags of belongings, essential for proving our partnership. Despite being together for twenty-seven years, we still have to carry a suitcase full of paperwork documenting our years as a couple. This ensures our life is recognised in whichever country we choose to settle in. As we walked along Fratton high street, just as we did over a quarter of a century ago, walking over Westminster bridge in the early hours of Saturday morning, both times dragging a broken case with a dodgy wheel, we made plans for the future. It was time to finally bite the bullet and fly home to Australia, restarting our life once again.

As I approached the ticket machine at the train station, about to buy two tickets to London, Darrell persuaded me to instead head to our old home in Southampton for the night, so we could just get some rest after a terrible evening. Sat waiting for the train, I messaged my work, prepared to hand in my notice there and then. We were leaving for Australia and that was my only priority. Luckily, the duty manager, who was working at the time, advised me to take a week's unpaid leave and think rationally about what I was doing. It is true to say, that minds can become cloudy in the heat of a fight and as we are all too aware, irrational decisions can overtake rational thought. Prepared to leave there and then, I took a step back, briefly, and said I would take time out to decide my next move. That was a wise decision, something I'm glad I agreed to.

We had half an hour to wait for the train, so spent the time messaging friends, who were absolutely amazing. A colleague I am particularly close too, akin to family, like the real brother I have never had, was extremely emotional and empathetic. He gave me a sense of what true friendship was like, even offering us a place to stay. Speaking to him on the phone, both emotional, he made me feel wanted in a way I haven't felt here in the UK, since my return in 2018. Of course, I have close family, but today I do tend to keep friends at a distance, especially after what has happened in the past. To hear such heart-warming words, made me realise I do have a life here and the people I work with mean the World to me.

Both Darrell and I remained quiet, sat on the train, during the forty-minute journey. Surrounded by bags, my life in tow, I just glanced out of the window, remembering the day we left for Australia in 1995 in similar circumstances. Our life has never been conventional in any sense of the word, but like all of you, we just want to settle down and lead our life normally, as we think fit, without other people dictating our every move. Since COVID and the cost of living crisis, our options to move forward have become even more limited than they were before. We have many more difficulties now, trying to achieve our dreams, and it looks likely we will have to spend the next few years building hard for a future that just isn't attainable right now. I dream of freedom every day, yet it's just too far out of reach; always one step forwards, two steps back!

Jury's Inn in Southampton was full of Saturday night revellers, and we were lucky to get a room at all, even at an inflated £206. After initial confusion with our booking, paid through PayPal, which still remains pending in my account, we finally got into our room at 10.30pm. Yet again we made more plans for a new life, just like we have done so many times before; we talked, got angry, cried and generally felt sorry for ourselves, all the while mindful of the challenges we face every day. Falling asleep briefly, we were both wide awake by 6am, when we finally came to some decisions after a few hours kip.

No argument is insurmountable, even ones as bad as the previous night. Both of us have made a life for ourselves in Portsmouth, even if it isn't going to be forever. I would miss my job, family and friends if I had to up sticks and leave, so it was time to bury the hatchet and get back to the way things were.

There has been so much turmoil and upheaval in my world recently that it is important for us both to try and live as peacefully as possible. I don't want drama in my life any more, I am too old and long in the tooth to be dealing with it. If anything, the last few days have shown how much I need Portsmouth in my life right now, especially my work and the friends and colleagues who make mine and Darrell's existence far more bearable. We have naturally discussed plans for a three-month stay in Australia, when the time is right, and hope we can see our Australian family in the not too distant future. For now, I will pick myself up, dust myself down and continue as if nothing has happened, the best way to survive another day!

If I'm honest, I'm quite partial to a good old Jubilee, stretching all the way back to 1977 and our present Queen's Silver Jubilee. I have always tried to take part, as you would expect from a Royalist. The photo below is of me, dressed as The Queen during her Diamond celebrations, ten years ago. That was the year I went all out  for Her Majesty and arranged a fancy dress party for friends and family. This year was very different; at fifty-one years old, there was no partying into the wee hours, but I did do my best to enjoy the four-day Bank Holiday weekend. It was an occasion to remember, that stirred emotions inside me and made me realise, our dear Queen will not be around forever and all of us should expect to see less of her during the next few years.

Newcome Arms

For the most part, I was working over the Jubilee. I had taken time off from my supermarket job, to join in the party at The Newcome Arms, working behind the bar for a few shifts. It was amazing to be part of the wonderful atmosphere, back in a pub I love, surrounded by patrons and colleagues I haven't seen in a while.

It was an extremely busy night on Friday, and I didn't stop all evening. That's the kind of shift I love; it was great to see so many happy faces toasting our Queen. The Newcome had pulled out all the stops over the bank holiday and had arranged live music, disco's, talent competitions and a children's party on the Sunday. It was impressive to see just how much effort this little pub in the heart of Fratton had made, to ensure everyone had a good time, including me!

It is unlikely we will ever see a Platinum Jubilee again, at least in the near future. I was therefore extremely mindful of the great historic significance, this four day holiday had for all British people. The Queen is beloved by all of us who live on these islands, and the celebrations across the country demonstrated that. Walking home from the Newcome in the early hours of Saturday morning, you could still hear parties continuing throughout the neighbourhood. It was heartening that everyone was respectful and there were no drunken shenanigans, as one might expect after a few days drinking. The regulars at the pub were a joy to be around, and I thoroughly enjoyed being back behind the bar, even for a short time!

I did a brief few hours behind the bar on Saturday also, giving other members of staff a short break, before the disco in the evening. Dipping in and out of the pub at will, rather than having rigid shifts, has suited me and has fitted in well with my current commitments. I do love bar work and the social interaction that goes along with it, and I'm sure it will remain at least a small part of my life for a while to come yet!

Like twelve million others, after work on Saturday, I sat down to watch the Platinum Party at the Palace. There have been other concerts in front of Buckingham Palace in the past, but this one was special, unlike anything I had ever seen before. The organisation, special effects, light show and projection of Her Majesty's life onto the palace itself was truly magical and out of this World.

I really didn't know many of the newer acts and, in truth, didn't particularly enjoy them. I am not one for rap and other modern styles of music, but thoroughly enjoyed most of the show, especially our Eurovision Star, Sam Ryder and of course Diana Ross. As a nation, we really do know how to put on an amazing performance, especially during important milestones. I understand peoples concerns about the money spent, especially during the cost of living crisis, but you have to remember why we were celebrating in the first place. Queen Elizabeth's seventy years as Monarch and head of state is something we should all be proud of. The majority of the British people support her and after the dark days of the pandemic, it was a necessary distraction. All of us were able to focus on a woman, who has given her life in the service of this country.

Like everyone else, I was taken aback with the opening sketch of The Queen and Paddington Bear together at the palace. Our Monarch may well be 96 years old, but this short video showed her great sense of fun and humour and left a lasting impression on all of us who saw it. It was of course uniquely British and showed The Queen enjoying her old age, in a way we haven't seen before. Finally, Her Majesty is doing what makes her happy, attending events that are significant for her and continuing to play an important role in the history of this country. This was the Grandmother of the nation at her finest!

Lunch Date at The Ship & Castle

On Sunday, Darrell and I took the opportunity to meet up with my old University friend Ramona. I rarely have Sunday's off, so I headed to my go-to place of choice, The Ship, and Castle at The Hard in Southsea. This place does the best carvery, perfect for a Sunday lunch. As usual, we all had a lot to catch up on, having not seen one another for a while, and it was nice chatting over a few pints and good food.

Ramona is really my last true friend from my early years living in Southampton, thirty years ago. No matter how different our lives have been, we have always managed to stay in touch in one way or another. Like us, life hasn't treated her in the best way possible, so we do have a lot in common. I made a conscious decision to offload a lot of people from my life a few years ago now. Today I prefer to hang out with friends like Ramona, my best buddy and someone who probably knows me better than I know myself!

After a lovely afternoon and a spot of window shopping at Gunwharf, since I can never afford anything there, it was home to catch up on the Jubilee pageant. Watching that final clip of our Queen stood on the balcony, dressed in emerald green, she did look rather frail. I couldn't help thinking how much longer we will have with this lady as our Head of State. Not the nicest thought at that moment, but all of us have to accept that Her Majesty is now winding down after seventy years on the throne.

In the same way I celebrated with friends this Jubilee weekend, taking the opportunity to see people I haven't seen in a while, it was also great to see The Queen doing the same at such an important milestone. These last few days have been momentous for many reasons, but they have also allowed people like me, the time to spend with people I hold dear. I hope we will continue to remember this day for many years to come, it is after all a historic event, unlike any other that's gone before!

I have reached the age of 51, a milestone in my book. Too many people I have known from my partying days, on the Southampton gay scene, are no longer with us and if I am honest, I am amazed I have made it this far. I have bucked my ideas up, lost weight and got fitter, that's for sure, and I have finally started to think about my health in a way I haven't before. Feeling fit, I am in a much happier place than I was!

On Sunday, my Aunt took all the family out to Gunwharf Quays and a meal at Bella Italia. There were nine of us in total, including, most surprisingly, my Father, who had travelled down to Portsmouth to spend the day with us. This was a big thing for Dad, as he rarely leaves the boundary of his home and certainly hasn't navigated public transport in probably forty years. However, instead of driving, he got on a train and made his way to Gunwharf, arriving in one piece.

It was a beautiful day on Sunday, as we all sat outside having a drink before lunch and more importantly, Dad seemed relaxed, chatting with family, something he hasn't done for a long time, probably since Mother's funeral. I was just happy to see him with us all, in a way he would have found difficult, just a few short months ago. This was the most relaxed I had felt in months, spending a valuable afternoon with my nearest and dearest, all together as a family, since the pandemic started two years ago!

After a lovely meal at Bella Italia and a few more beers, we all made our way to Bar One, just around the corner from the restaurant, and spent a lazy afternoon chatting in the sun. My Cousin Rachel, in her own unique way, was on top form. I haven't seen my Father laugh so much in years, and it was thanks in no small part to Rachel, whose sense of humour is infectious. This was a Birthday meal to celebrate my fifty-one years, but it was more than that, it was a day to be thankful that all our family were once again together as a unit, after two years of hell!

Yesterday, on the day of my Birthday, Darrell and I went to meet friends in Southampton. I haven't been back to the place since I returned from Spain, so in many respects it was a bit of a pilgrimage, to see how it has changed over the intervening years. It is always a pleasure returning to my old University city, being there does evoke happier times, spent with friends during those care free days from my youth. Of course much of the city has changed, and it has lost a lot of its charm, but the fabric is still there, and I will always recognise it as home!

For the first time since 2020 I was able to spend time with two friends, Elaine and Chris, who are very important to me. These two have been there through thick and thin and seen me at the best and worst of times, so it was essential to connect with them after the pandemic. My Birthday was the perfect opportunity to spend some time in a city I love with two friends I adore; without them, my life would certainly have been all the poorer.

It has been a very thought-provoking few days, spent with people I love, which is what Birthdays should be about. It wasn't what I would have planned to do, but it has been special nevertheless. Spending the day in London tomorrow will signal the end of another year gone by, and I hope the beginning of a new, better twelve months ahead. Nothing is for certain as the World continues to explode around us. All our circumstances feel uncertain and precarious right now, but at least there are friends and family to help get us through. These are the important ones, the ones who mean everything, the people we often take for granted, the people who remained steadfast, loyal and true!

This week marked the end of an era, where work was concerned. After four years working at The Newcome Arms, I completed my last shift on Wednesday night. It has been a huge wrench leaving the pub, I have been a part of for so long, but as my circumstances have changed, so has my outlook on life. I have been given the opportunity to do more hours in my full time job, the money is better, and sadly new commitments would have overlapped with my bar duties, so something just had to give. I literally can't be in two places at once, so as much as I wanted to stay around friends, it wasn't an option. Saying goodbye to some truly remarkable people was extremely difficult, and the reality is, I don't know if I have made the right decision, yet!

All of us reach a crossroads in our life, when it is important to make choices for the future. This week has been a significant milestone for me in determining my own destiny. The Newcome Arms was a crucial first step in returning to British life in 2018, after living in Spain, and it got me through some awfully dark days. The people I worked with and the customers who frequented this backstreet bar, were instrumental in getting me through, what I can only describe as the most traumatic years of my life.

With Darrell living ten thousand miles away in Australia, my bar work gave my an outlet to socialise with people, when I needed the company of others most. Having one's husband living on the other side of the World, was extremely hard to deal with, so conversation and interaction was critical. In many respects, my worries took a back seat while I was here, and that was a good thing. I didn't want or need to be thinking about my own woes on a daily basis, any distraction was welcome!

The pandemic brought me closer to the pub, despite being furloughed on occasion. The time I spent there became more valuable than ever; the World may well have been falling apart around me, but it was the people there that put everything into perspective. Their sense of community in abnormal times was refreshing and allowed me to forget about the dramatic events happening across the globe. This pub became the backbone I needed and the normality I craved, this was my escape and my reason to get out of bed!

I will always have fond memories of The Newcome Arms and will do my best to return when I can. As my life moves forwards, onwards and hopefully upwards, it's good to know some things never change. This pub in the heart of Fratton will be there, long after I have gone, It's illuminating light shining brightly, welcoming all of us home. The Newcome Arms will remain a reality check for friends, family and neighbours, returning for those significant events in all our lives.

The day after I left the pub, a colleague I worked with left for a well deserved retirement. It was of course a sad day for all of us who knew Sue, but it was also a signal of the changing times. No matter where we work or what job we do, there will come a time when we have to move on, for our own personal fulfilment.

Sue was a wonderful character, who was a joy to be around, always happy to help out when she could and a great source of advice. We were so similar in many ways and always had a lot to chat about, which made for a productive, friendly environment in which to work. I will miss her, as I know many of my colleagues will also and if I am honest, a bit of me is envious of the plans she has for the future. Like me, she used to live in Spain and returning to the UK was a hard path to tread; as she steps into the unknown one last time and takes a final bow, I know all of us wish her success in all her endeavours!

Sue's departure cemented the end of an era, both of us travelling on two very different journeys but with two similar aims - the beginning of a new life! Darrell and I have started to think about the future, and leaving The Newcome is the start of that process. Both of us intend to be in Portsmouth for at least four more years, by which time I can officially retire, given the right circumstances of course. Until then, we will keep on forging our new life together, working towards our goals, creating memories, cherishing friendships and earning enough money to eventually live, the life both of us desire!

Today, I have finally achieved another weight loss goal. Since October 5th 2021, I have been on a calorie controlled diet, not a keto or one of those fad diets, but just a good old-fashioned calorie counting weight loss programme. With a little help from my 'nutracheck' app, I have managed to lose nearly 20 kg, going from 100 kilos last year to 77.9 kilograms today. For me, that is a huge undertaking; I used to have a BMI of 43, through careful eating and an active lifestyle, that has now fallen to 24.6. I am no longer obese, I am a normal healthy weight, although still at the higher end of normal…. I can cope with that; I am just happy to feel fit again, without the aches and pains I have suffered with in the past. Getting out of bed is a dream, walking has become easier, and I no longer get out of breath walking upstairs.

My weight has always tended to yo-yo over the years, I have literally been every size you can imagine and everything in-between. I have been on many diets, but never really achieved a sustainable weight, that I was able to maintain. Of course, I am hoping this time will be different, but I am also under no illusions, as to just how difficult it will be, to stay at 77 kilos.

I have downloaded the 'nutracheck' application on my phone and use it to keep track of the calories I eat on a daily basis. Through a barcode scanner, I am able to accurately establish my intake of food and drink daily, make adjustments where necessary and also take account of any exercise and activity I undertake. This app has been amazing at keeping me on the straight and narrow, preventing me from deviating from my weight loss goal too much. It has also allowed me to track my changing weight and other health indicators, making it the ideal diet companion.

This time I was determined not to make the same mistakes of the past. I have allowed myself to eat treats now and again, not every day, but on occasion, when I fancy something a little different. Also, when eating out, I have put no restrictions on what I consume, not always opting for the healthiest option. This has worked well for me and as a result I have rarely craved food, in the same way I used to.

Tonight I am going out for a meal at 'Yan Woo,' in Portsmouth, one of my favourite restaurants. This is my first Saturday night off in nearly four years, after I worked my last Saturday night shift at the Newcome Arms a few weeks ago. I decided, after much deliberation, that it was time to take a step back from the pub and give up one of my evening shifts.

At fifty years old, I understand I can't keep burning the candle at both ends. With both Darrell and I working, I felt it was time to cut back and give someone else the chance to take on the busy Saturday shift at the pub. That doesn't mean I am giving it up entirely, far from it, I will still be working on a Wednesday. I love being there, and it has become an important social outlet for me. I couldn't give up this part of my life just yet; many of those who go to The Newcome have become friends, I love spending time in their company. This job was never about money, it was always about keeping connected to those I regard as close.

Tonight will be about eating good food and drinking a few glasses of wine with Darrell, the first time we have been able to do that since Darrell returned to the UK in September. After receiving his new biometric card and me reaching a significant milestone, it is time to sit back and let someone else do the work.

It has been a little over four years since Darrell was granted his Spanish residency in December 2017, and my God, a lot has happened since. In 2017, we were very much looking forward to our new life in Gran Alacant, enjoying living on the continent and the Spanish way of life. Today in 2022, we are firmly but in many respects reluctantly committed to settling in Britain; not what we planned, but at least we are together.

Today, Darrell received his UK settlement status for a second time, after what has been the most turbulent five years in our life. Darrell was originally given 'Indefinite Leave to Remain' in 2001, but after changes to immigration law, the introduction of a new biometrics card and dramatic changes to our circumstances, he was forced to reapply for the same status yet again. Living outside Australia for nearly two years, caring for Mum, only complicated our situation further. When one adds Brexit and a Worldwide pandemic into the mix, you can see, just how precarious our situation was.

Since his return to the UK in September, we have both been living under a cloud, not knowing if he would be allowed to live here permanently or not. However, after consulting a solicitor at great expense, we were able to establish a legal basis for settlement, and he was finally given back his right of abode. It has been a long, difficult journey getting here; despite our current situation, we are both determined to make the most of our life together and forge a future at least in part based in the UK.

Being around family has been amazing over the last four years, especially whilst living through a pandemic, it has given us both a reason to stay in this part of the World. We have grown close to our cousins and family in a way we haven't before and for that reason, I couldn't be happier. There is nevertheless a profound sense of disappointment that we couldn't continue our journey in Spain, and I will forever wonder what could have been. Despite the sadness we feel, we are both well aware of just how much the World has changed over the last two years in particular, and believe our life in Spain would have been cut short in any eventuality.

Today we both have the luxury of planning for yet another new future, whether on the south coast, or further afield in Lancashire, an area we know well. Neither of us know where life will take us from now, but we are determined to make the most of the opportunities we have and hope the next five years will be a little easier than the last!

Last week I went out for a meal and a few drinks with colleagues. This was the first time I had been out with people from work in a long time, just before the start of the pandemic. This was a nice, chilled and relaxing evening, and it felt good to be socialising on this kind of level once again. Of course, it still wasn't the same as it was before COVID, with fewer customers than I remember, but at least the restaurant was open and there were customers, enjoying each other's company. Laughing and joking, deep in conversation, everyone was happy to be out, without a care in the World, living life like it was 2018.

Could this really be a taste of the future, I ask myself? Are we finally coming out of this pandemic? Well, from what the experts are saying, Britain, ahead of much of the World, is moving back towards normality, as we enter a new phase, living with COVID-19. All of us will have to live alongside it and get used to being far more cautious around others, in a personal, measured way, continuing to protect ourselves on a daily basis. I, for one, will continue to wear my mask in a work and professional setting. That is a personal choice and I don't need the Government to give me guidance, especially since they haven't followed rules themselves.

The latest news conference from the Government made it clear, that restrictions will now be lifted and by March of this year, there will be no more controls in place. It is a scary thought, living in a World without limitations, as it was before 2019, but as disconcerting as that feels, I am well aware of the importance of living my life to the full. I want to start travelling, picking up from where I left off, surrounding myself with friends and family in the same way I used to. Most importantly, I want to stop being afraid of a virus that I can't do anything about.

As Britain returns to normal, it is important we remain aware of Coronavirus, because it will be around for a very long time yet. We shouldn't, however, let it impact on our lives negatively any longer. Everyone I know wants to move forwards, all of us have wasted too many precious months, living under the constraints of COVID-19. It may well be time to throw the masks in the bin, but it is also a period to remain aware of just what could happen again in the future. Taking responsibility for our own actions should be our overriding priority, as we navigate the new World COVID has left behind!

After a little over two months, I have achieved my weight loss target of two stone. Today I weigh 85 kilograms, down from 97.6, just a few weeks ago. Actually when I stepped on the scales this morning, I was a rather pleasing 84.5 kilograms, no mean feat, after trying to lose excess fat, on and off for years. I have sadly always had an ongoing battle to control my waist size, since I was a teenager and no matter how much I've tried, I've never really got to my ideal 'normal' weight. So today is a great day for me, and although I have a little more left to lose, I am happy to be healthier and in much better shape, especially at fifty years old.

You wouldn't believe how many diets I have tried and although some succeeded, to differing degrees, I have never managed to keep the pounds off and have gained weight faster than I lost it in the first place. I suppose if one looks at my fight against fat, one can see the reasons for the numerous gastrointestinal issues I suffer with today.

I eat because I am depressed, down or suffer with anxiety. Immediately, I reach for the block of cheese in the fridge or the biggest bar of chocolate I can find. My relationship with food is complicated and my state of mind is the biggest factor in why I eat the way I do and gain or lose weight as a consequence.

Living apart from my husband over the last few years, during the middle of a pandemic, has been a struggle if I am honest. Since I returned home from Spain, I have suffered from a growing list of health problems; when one factors in the loss of my Mum and Great Aunt, my Mothers-in-law's ongoing cancer and our continual battle with the Home Office and immigration, one can see, just how difficult life has been. Comfort eating has always been a concern, but since the beginning of October, I have managed to break that psychological link between head and stomach.

My weight loss journey has been helped by having a friend, who is also on a diet; she has been with me every step of the way. We regularly post our weight on WhatsApp, which more than motivates me to carry on and keep it up. This has indeed been a deeply personal quest, but it has also been a joint effort, between two people who decided enough was enough.

I do feel so much better; I can walk faster, go up and down stairs without getting out of breath and despite eating fewer calories, I have far more energy than I used to. I get tired less, enjoy the food I eat more, and can literally feel the difference in my body. Cutting out fat, processed food, cheese, refined sugar and unhealthy snacks has been an eye-opener. I have not missed any of the things I used to eat and more importantly I haven't denied myself anything; I have just learnt to control portion sizes. Unlike previous diets, I have eaten out, enjoyed home cooked meals and eaten a dessert if it is on the menu. The only real difference is, I don't do it all the time and rejoin my diet the day after; luckily it seems to have paid off, and I feel fitter and healthier than ever.

I'm not over yet; I still have a few more kilos to lose, but I am more or less there, having achieved the last two goals I set for myself. By Christmas, I will be at my preferred weight and I can celebrate fully, like everyone else, for just one day. This has been a challenge I have relished, especially at such a testing time in my life, but I have embraced it with gusto and hope to maintain what I have achieved, in contrast to diets of the past. At my age, I want a healthy future and an end to weight related ailments. The older I get, the more aware of my own mortality I become; all of us need to do what we can, to stay fitter and stronger for longer. I want productive and prosperous years ahead, and this weight loss program is just the beginning of that process!

It has been a particularly difficult time for me recently, with regard to my IBS. The pain I experience tends to come and go in intensity, but I am always aware it is there. It isn't soreness in the traditional sense, but rather a discomfort that does make my life harder. Of course, the symptoms do wax and wane with my general well-being, but they are a constant in my life, that just won't go away. If I am feeling anxious, the symptoms are magnified, and I can be doubled up in pain, unable to complete daily tasks as I would like. At the moment, I seem to have more negative indicators than usual, and I am being left debilitated and exhausted.

The strict calorie control diet I have been following, seems to have made my IBS worse than ever, and I can only put that down to eating more fruit and vegetables, which doesn't always agree with my constitution. Anything that ferments in the stomach causes side effects, and it appears this is what is happening. I have lost an awful lot of kilos on this weight loss programme, but I have had to make sacrifices in the process. The hope is, I can get back to eating a more IBS friendly diet soon, which should help the soreness settle down; until then I will just have to battle on, until I have reached my goal, which is only a few kilograms away.

This week I had my third COVID vaccine booster, something I was glad to do and in many respects looking forward to. Unlike anti-vaxxers, I want to get back to normal and live my life, rather than continually hiding away from this deadly virus. Whether we take the vaccine, is a personal choice, but, why oh why wouldn't you?

My appointment on Thursday was at Laly's Chemist, near Guildhall Walk in Portsmouth, and it was organised perfectly. I went straight into a room, where I was given the Moderna vaccine in my left arm. This was a bit of a surprise as I thought all booster doses would be Pfizer, but according to the nurse, Moderna had also just been approved by the government. The two different types were being used that day, and it was just pot luck that I had been given the one I had. Moderna is similar to Pfizer in regard to the low temperatures it has to be stored, and I was asked to wait for fifteen minutes before leaving the pharmacy, after the jab.

Many of those who had their third dose of the vaccine, have suffered far more adverse effects compared with the previous two, so I was expecting the worst. I did suffer a little more, but nothing like those friends I had spoken to. There weren't any specific symptoms, but I just felt low, down and under the weather for a few hours; after a good night's sleep, I was back to my old self once again.

I am grateful for receiving my COVID booster, especially as we enter the cold winter months. My hope is, it will afford me adequate protection for the next six months at least. I have a feeling we will all have to get a vaccination every six months in order to beat this virus, in the short term at least. I fail to understand why anyone wouldn't want to get one, but unlike Austria, who has just made vaccines mandatory, I don't think we should be forcing anyone to have a jab if they don't want it. It is a choice what we put into our bodies, and it is up to us if we want to take a measured risk at this time. My fear is many will discover the benefits of the vaccine too late, when they have lost loved ones or fall ill themselves. It is up to us to reject conspiracy theories and accept the scientific advice.

This week, Darrell has started work, after being in the country for a little over two months. We have had a lot of problems getting him to where he is today, because of the 'biometric card' requirement. In order for him to work, he has to prove his immigration status, which he only has in paper form, issued in 2001. Everywhere he applied to work, rejected his application, because he couldn't provide the correct information. Luckily, my employer went out of their way to contact the Home Office and get an alternative letter, allowing him to prove his right to work and thus start his new job at the same supermarket where I work.

My employer went that extra mile to help Darrell work again, and I can't say enough, how grateful I am. This says much about them as employers and shows their commitment to staff and their families. The agonizing wait, passed from pillar to post between employer and Home Office, was stressful and anxiety inducing at times, but with determination we have finally managed to get him to a stage where he can actually work again.

This is another weight off my mind, and maybe it will help ease my ongoing IBS symptoms. One less worry makes for one less day dealing with this debilitating syndrome. My stress levels do seem to have dominated my life for the last six months or so, and it's time I looked for a new approach to dealing with it. I am working on a long term future plan, that will finally allow me the freedom to live life in a more harmonious way, all I need now is the opportunity to put it into practice.

And finally…

Darrell celebrated his 49th Birthday yesterday, and it was nice to have him here, the first time in many years. Unlike Birthdays of the past, we just had our friend Ramona over and a Chinese takeaway. Neither of us are in the mood for big celebrations and boozy nights out; so with a mug of Bovril and some chocolate cake, we saw in the last year of his forties and looked forward to a better year ahead. Let's hope the World returns to normal and all of us can live again!