I've always had a keen interest in all things spiritual, believing in an afterlife and the power of mediums to channel energy. Whilst searching through some personal items today, I came across a cassette tape, produced by Terri Day in 2002, during a psychometric reading I had with her in December of that year. To be honest, listening to that recording today, I have been transported backwards twenty years. I remember the conversation I had with her in her House in Salisbury. She was an extremely nice, agreeable person, who through the power of jewellery, tried to analyse me and my life. Terri came highly recommended by a friend and at the time, sceptically, I took the plunge and booked an appointment to see her.

In many respects I have always been open to people like Terri; I really do believe there are people who can see past the earthly plane we live on. As a person who is constantly seeking answers for different aspects of life, Mediumship offers a way to make sense of confusion, in a way we can't always determine ourselves.

I have included an extract from the recording on that day, so readers can make what they will of her abilities. At the time I thought she was remarkably accurate in her assessment of my life, but much of what she said could have been interpreted in any number of ways. She didn't really tell me anything enlightening or miraculous; in fact she misunderstood many aspects of my life, especially my personal life. Her evaluation was completely off kilter, referring to my partner Darrell as 'her' and not even understanding we were living and working together on a daily basis. Today, listening to the recording I am disappointed at her reading and can only come to the conclusion, that she wasn't necessarily the person she claimed to be.

That is quite difficult for me to say, admitting that a Clairvoyant wasn't accurate, but that is the truth of my experience; I can't say I recognised much of what she said. I am not saying for one-minute Miss Day was fraudulent or deceptive in nature, but I don't believe she had clairvoyant ability. Nevertheless, Terri sparked an inquisitiveness in the supernatural side of life for me. Her reading in 2002 was the beginning of an interest in the occult that still remains prominent and part of who I am.

I began to read and appreciate the different ways one can tap into the unconscious and really understand a person. I spent the next ten years studying Chiromancy or Palmistry to the layman and entered a World that gripped my imagination. So obsessed with the meaning of life and how to interpret our journey in this World, I turned my interest into a passion, that still exists today.

I would often read friends and strangers hands and would not only surprise myself, but also others, in just how much you could tell about another person, just by looking at the lines on the palmar surface. I have often been blown away by the circumstances and events I have seen mapped before me; I truly believe all of us have the ability to understand ourselves more, by looking at the lines on our hands, but acknowledge it isn't always possible for everyone to grasp that narrative before them.

In complete contrast to Clairvoyance, Palmistry offers a tangible insight into a persons mind. Mediumship relies on faith and a belief in an individual; we are hopeful they are honest and true and can do what they portend, but there will always be an element of trust involved. A Medium can research and investigate, to obtain information by dishonest means. Only the person having a reading can really determine if it is sincere and reliable. Throughout my audience with Terri, I didn't feel entirely comfortable with her commentary and if I am brutally honest, she didn't really understand who I was at all.

Then of course there was the so-called psychic who had spent three months living with my dead Grandmother. When a work colleague contacted me, claiming of her ability to contact the afterlife, including my Grandmother, I was in no position to disbelieve her. This unscrupulous person even came to my home as a trusted friend and confidante, to help Darrell and I meditate and open our minds to the concept of the spirit world. Spending an hour 'opening our chakras,' she spuriously pretended to help us see past our own scepticism. Self-evidently, it was all nonsense and this unethical reprobate, just wanted to cause us maximum hurt and pain. For a while I did believe her and thought she was a friend, but as time moved on, I saw past the lies and her disruptive shenanigans, discovering she wasn't the person I thought she was. Most people understood her true nature at the time and could only shrug, hold their hands in the air and say, they told us so. I only had myself to blame, wanting to believe in her more than anything else; I was blinded from the truth!

My next brush with the transcendental came with a trip to see my all-time hero 'Psychic Sally,' at The Mayflower Theatre in Southampton. I used to watch her television show all the time, as often as I could. When I found out she was going on tour, I just had to go. I had high expectations for the evening, but sadly ended up very disappointed. Her live performance was particularly mediocre, and I didn't feel she was genuinely tapping into the spirit World. My interest in her diminished shortly afterwards and her perceived lack of ability turned me away from parapsychology completely, as I sort answers to problems elsewhere. I am not saying for one minute that Sally Morgan was a fake, far from it, but she just didn't connect with me, in a way I hoped she would; for someone seeking answers, that is important!

Today, I continue to read palms when I can and still have that curiosity in divination, I think I probably always will. I have a packet of tarot cards, placed under my bed, wrapped in a silk scarf and often ask them questions. I watch 'Most Haunted,' read my horoscope in the newspaper and stumble across fortune telling websites; Yes, I still have an enthusiasm for anything that can't be explained. However, I am more realistic with rationales and remain a sceptic, until convinced to the contrary. Something inside me will always want to believe, no matter how much I am persuaded otherwise, but until I really understand the nature of spirituality, I will continue to wrestle with my conscience, searching for aggregates and reading between the lines!

Darrell has been busy volunteering for a charity in Western Australia over the last few weeks - 'Express  Wildlife Rescue!' After the recent bush fires that engulfed Western Australia subsided, many thousands of native animals were left orphaned. This small charity is doing all it can to help those in greatest need. You can of course donate to 'Express Wildlife Rescue' by clicking the links throughout today's blog entry. Like all charities, funds are in short supply and the more help you can give to help the better.

Darrell has been helping to feed and care for orphaned Joeys (baby Kangaroo's.) These tiny babies, left in their Mothers pouch after they died, are rescued by dedicated volunteers, who are having to heartbreakingly remove them, taking them to the rescue centre to be cared for. Joeys need a lot of looking after and have to be nurtured for three years, before they are able to look after themselves. It is a painstaking job hand rearing these beautiful marsupials; without the commitment of volunteers like Darrell and many others, 'Express Wildlife Rescue' wouldn't be able to carry out the work it does!

I am happy Darrell has finally been able to undertake some voluntary work in Australia. It is difficult when you are supporting an elderly or ill relative, so the opportunity to take a break from the pressures of life and do something to help your local community, is a good way of staying focused and in touch with the outside world. It can be a lonely task, caring for a loved one, so above all contact with other people is important.

Life in Western Australia is carrying on as normal, so it is lucky Darrell has been able to source a position which allows him time to breathe, chat to other volunteers and help save lives. I have always enjoyed volunteering myself, for many years and hope Darrell can also gain some much-needed satisfaction from his time at the rescue centre; I know I am in awe at the work he is championing!

For me looking in, I have also been able to see a side of life I wouldn't otherwise have seen. I am aware of the seasonal bush fires that threaten Australia, but like most people I didn't understand the extent of the damage caused to wildlife throughout this diverse country. I may well have had many challenges living in Australia twenty years ago, but I can appreciate the allurement and distinctiveness this Country represents. The amazing ecosystem needs to be preserved and protected at all costs, so the more Australians do to help, the brighter the future will be.

Another week has passed and after four months of lockdown it has been time to shave my unruly mop - both of us are bald now, looking every inch our age; just part of the course as I reach my 50th year. Looking through old photographs earlier, I am reminded of the fulfilled life we have both led; this pandemic is but a small hiccup in the road we are currently following. The fact that we are both living apart temporarily should never affect our plans for the future This is a time to push even harder, as we become ever more determined to achieve the goals we have set together, the dreams we have yet to follow and the ambitions we continue to seek!

I've just popped into Portsmouth City centre this morning to have a COVID-19 test. I booked a ten-minute appointment online yesterday, after the new rapid test centre for critical workers opened up in Guildhall Square.

Surprisingly I haven't had a Coronavirus test yet. When I had my symptoms back in March/April, tests for people like me were not available, consequently I never knew if I had the virus or not. I jumped at the opportunity to get tested, if anything, to put my mind at rest.

Key workers are now able to test regularly at the site, in order to ensure they are keeping others safe at work. Asymptomatic spread of the disease is a large problem for local authorities, trying to keep track of the virus; with this new centre open, anyone without symptoms is being encouraged to get tested. This will give Portsmouth City Council an idea of just how far COVID has spread.

With the highest infection rate in Hampshire, it is vital all of us who live here get on top of the R-Rate, which is falling slower than expected. Rapid and surge testing will help to determine the extent of infection, but it won't empower people to attend centres like the one in Portsmouth, that is up to us. As a community, we need to encourage friends, families and work colleagues to get tested, if they work in any of the key frontline roles. If we want to get back to normal, the quicker we isolate those who are carrying the virus, but showing no symptoms, the sooner we will get on top of community transmission. If you are a key worker like me, please get tested

I arrived ten minutes before my test and walked straight into the Guildhall, where I was asked to provide some personal information and connect to a government application, before I went into the test centre. All my details were confirmed and the notification 'flashed green' as soon as I had filled in all my details. I was then directed to a cubical, where I showed them the phone application, to confirm I had completed my contact information correctly.

After a few brief questions, I was asked to swab my throat, which made me gag, confirming I had undertaken the procedure correctly, apparently. Finally, I had to repeat the process again, using the same swab up one of my nostrils. It was all very quick, done within half a minute, and I was free to go. Within half an hour I had received my negative test result and was able to carry on with the rest of my day.

It will be a few months yet before I receive my vaccination, so in the interim, I have decided to get tested every week, until I am fully protected. That way I will make sure myself and others are kept safe. Apart from anything else, I think it is my civic duty to do whatever I can, to help the local and national effort to eradicate COVID-19. I would urge anyone else considering going along to the Guildhall to do so and lets start getting life back to normal

In 1999, I was asked to write an article for my local newspaper, the Southern Daily Echo, in reply to an unprovoked, scathing attack on the gay community, by a local Member of Parliament. I had initially written a letter to the editor in response to an article, composed by Sir Desmond Swayne MP, detailing his objections to the lowering of the age of consent for gay men, to equal that of our heterosexual counterparts. The article he wrote was a shuddering diatribe about homosexual men and the lifestyles we were accused of leading. His comments were hurtful, degrading and utterly appalling. After reading his piece, I had to put pen to paper and make my voice heard.

Immediately I contacted the Editor, utterly horrified that this article was allowed to be printed in the first place. The words Sir Desmond wrote were extremely disturbing and at times defamatory in nature. I didn't recognise the wayward description of my homosexual brethren and I didn't understand why someone could be so misguided in their views.

The editor explained his stance on the matter and asked if I would like to write a column the following week, in reply to Sir Desmond. Still incensed about the 'out of touch' MP, I sat down to write what I considered to be a measured and fair reply. The reality is, I just wanted to knock the guy out, but that would have just reinforced his bigoted views, making me the degenerate he referred to, all to frequently in his composition.

Every time I have seen this man, still Member of Parliament for the New Forest, on television, I have literally switched over, or growled vocally at the screen. I have had no time for him ever since and just cringed at his lack of knowledge on a subject, he really should have researched before launching into a public attack.

Imagine my surprise today, while browsing through the newspaper headlines on the internet, as I do every morning, when I came across this article from Sir Desmond Swayne. I thought to myself, 'oh God here we go again, the old bugger is off on his usual rant, about the evils of homosexuality!' However, NO, No, this was a discourse about change and how Sir Desmond had seen the light and admitted how wrong he was..... I don't mind telling you, I was gobsmacked; this was a man holding his hands up and saying he was mistaken and inaccurate in his assessment of gay men and incorrect for saying the things he did, and I couldn't quite believe it!

Personally I am not sure such a man can change so much. Don't get me wrong if he has really seen the light, then I embrace him with open arms. But hugging Sir Desmond is probably not going to happen anytime soon. This person had such anti-gay views, that I just can't see how they have transposed out of all recognition. Homophobia is a particularly entrenched attitude, one that usually takes generations to change. One man miraculously reforming overnight is a little hard to believe, though it has to be said, not impossible.

Rest assured, I will be writing to Sir Desmond Swayne, after I finish this article to discover just what has happened. It would be great to stand up and admit I was wrong for thinking a leopard never changes its spots, but is he really a rehabilitated character?.... Whatever happens, I must go and have a lie down; once again, the World is a little stranger, my head a little foggier and in retrospect that column I wrote in 1999 may never have happened at all!

I've just got off the phone from the Royal Bournemouth Hospital; I was approached about taking part in a new COVID vaccine trial several weeks ago and the lead organiser wanted to touch base about a revolutionary new vaccine trial. Unlike other vaccine studies this particular one is a microbial antibody testing programme, using the serum from recovered patients.  I have been interested in taking part in such a medical evaluation for a while now and want to play my part, in the fight against this virus.

I was given an initial telephone assessment, to check I was the right calibre of person to take part in this unique study and was told I had passed this first stage. Next I have to undergo some health and blood tests, something I am very used to at my time of life, and then the administering of any new vaccine. Of course this may take a while, but I am looking forward to being a part of this group in the not too distant future.

The organiser explained, that as a front line worker, who isn't part of the initial vaccine roll out, falling outside the list of nine priority groups, who will be vaccinated first, I was just the type of person they were looking for. I was also informed of other up and coming trials that I could also take part in, should I decide this one isn't right for me. If anything I may well get the chance of having a jab sooner rather than later, which will only help me and the anxiety I suffer with every day; that cant be a bad thing!

After speaking to the Royal Bournemouth, I was able to talk with Darrell, who is feeling a little alone at the moment, like all of us. He wanted me to update his CV, so he can do some volunteering during the last few months he has left in Australia. He is speaking with someone tomorrow about volunteering with Kangaroos, helping to look after them and feed newborns, especially after the terrible bush fires in Western Australia recently.

Darrell has found the last few months, especially hard, and I am just glad he is looking into doing something productive, especially with wild animals. Personally I can't wait to be able to volunteer again; it is great for the soul and our own sense of well-being. I have given up my time, helping various charities over the years and have always enjoyed it.

On Monday I will finally get my pneumonia jab, which has been delayed and delayed for various reasons including having to self-isolate. I have made a decision to go ahead and get the vaccine, despite the £70.00 cost. As an ex smoker, I am more susceptible to this awful disease and with secondary pneumonia a complication of Coronavirus, I am glad to be having it done. These days I am constantly thinking about my health and doing what I can to survive this dreadful period.

My IBS has also been out of control recently, so I decided to take some medical advice about how to manage it. together with my other gastrointestinal issues, a practitioner suggested I try some 'digestive enzymes' and 'Milk Thistle,' which I have bought from the health food shop in town. I have only been taking them for a couple of days, but already my stomach feels a hundred times better. However, I do have a terrible headache, which can apparently be a side effect of the enzymes. I am just hoping it isn't a permanent feature, especially as my stomach feels like new.

As all of us battle our own demons during this pandemic, I am more mindful of my health. No smoking or drinking, healthy eating and lots of walking seems to be paying dividends. If it wasn't for my IBS I would feel great, but you can't have everything. I hope the next nine months before Darrell returns to the UK is the beginning of a sea change in my life, that lasts way beyond this pandemic and I can start living life more positively once again. Without the mistakes of the past and the challenges we strived to overcome, I pray this is the beginning of something good and the end of the worst twelve months of our life. This is a time to grow, a time to heal and a time to look forward, onwards to the future, not looking back at the past!

I've never been any good at choosing the 'right people' to have in my life. A terrible judge of character, I have always relied on my belief in others, to form an opinion about personality and reputation. Preferring my own sense of judgement, to rumour and hearsay, I accept what someone tells me, as honest and true, forgetting not everyone is irreproachable and sincere. Unscrupulous and dubious voices, always shout loudest; unrepentant, unashamed and shameless, the abusers protest too much!

I have put up with a lot of 'cobblers' in the past; two faced, disingenuous individuals have played a prominent role in my life, since I was old enough to make my own mistakes. Today, things are very different, today I no longer hanker after friendships, accepting second best. I continue to enjoy the company of those closest, but on equal, inclusive terms; I am never afraid to say goodbye!

It's Friday, not a day I usually blog, because I am normally beavering away at work by now, however this week, once again, I am self Isolating. Yesterday I received yet another message from 'Track and Trace,' to isolate, after coming into contact with someone who has reported they have Coronavirus symptoms. I've lost count how many times I have had to do this now, but it must be about three or four. Yes it is tiresome, inconvenient and exasperating, but unlike others, I understand the importance of doing it. It was interesting to see on the news last night, that around twenty-eight thousand  people are actually ignoring the notifications and carrying on as normal. Why, just why would you? If you have the app on your phone, follow it and do the right thing for Christ’s sake, it is your civic duty.

As usual, I have no idea how or why I came into contact with whoever this person is, but I have a good idea. When I am working, I am protected from the general public by a perspex shield, so there is no need to have my 'Track and Trace' app turned on. In fact the service have told me to turn it off. Nevertheless, I did have a Hospital Appointment on the day I would have been exposed, so this could be the reason why I am isolating yet again. Like everyone else I will never know who gave my details and I will remain in the dark, which is probably a good thing.

I do have concern about the timings involved. I received a message yesterday to isolate for five days, which means If I did have COVID-19, I would have been walking around for five days, following my usual routine, not knowing I could have been passing on this deadly virus. One can only assume the person who reported symptoms, didn't do so soon enough or the results of the test came through later than one would have expected. It is so important people are notified quickly, to stop the spread; this is the second time I have had a very short quarantine period, which says something is going wrong with the system. Let's hope that the Government gets its act together and of course the public actually follow the rules and report symptoms as soon as they get them!

On a positive note, it is great to see the UK's vaccination programme really ramping up. When I listened to the news yesterday, ten and a half million people had already received their first dose of the vaccine. This is great news; the sooner all of us are immunised, the quicker we will get back to normal. The crucial thing is, everyone who is offered a jab, takes the jab. I am sick and tired of the conspiracy theories and the anti-vaxxers. These people know nothing about this virus and its impact on families and need to take a long hard look at themselves. Their views are abhorrent and wrong and deserve no air time. Shocking scenes of these people storming hospital wards, accusing health care professionals of 'murder' is beyond comprehension, It highlights the odious lack of understanding and education. It is an appalling indictment on a small, yet vocal minority of the population, that mistakenly believe this virus is a hoax, it just makes me want to cry!

One piece of news I did find a little hard to stomach this week, was Europe's reaction to our Vaccination programme. Predictably, they slammed our efforts, implying we were taking risks with peoples lives, having not tested the vaccines properly. At one stage they threatened Britain with a hard Northern Irish border, trying to divert valuable medicines to the European Union. The vindictive nature of their behaviour, trying to restrict the amount of vaccine made in the EU, travelling to the UK, because we had actually ordered and secured batches three months before, beggars belief. They were willing to disrupt supply to those who needed it most, in order to save face. It is their bureaucracy that has delayed their immunisation programme; it has nothing to do with us. Luckily they backed down at the last minute as Europe invariably does. My love hate relationship with Europe has once again been tested. Having reversed my stance on Brexit, I was once again brought to boiling point, by Europe's actions. Their conduct is the reason I voted to leave, this just creates more negativity, when we should all be working together.

This week we saw the death of a hero, the superstar of this pandemic, an ex serviceman, Knight of the Realm and champion of the National Health Service. Sadly Captain Sir Tom Moore, who raised thirty-nine million pounds for NHS charities died of Pneumonia and Coronavirus, succumbing to the disease, he had fought against throughout 2020. This man, who in his 99th year, walked a hundred laps of his garden, raising millions, was a loss that's hard to countenance.

Sir Tom was the constant in all our lives last year; his positive outlook, cheerful disposition and stoicism in the face of tragedy carried all of us through the worst of the pandemic. This national treasure was an inspiration during dark times, a man who encouraged many to raise yet more money for charities up and down the country and was known throughout the World for his efforts. Losing this gentle soul in his 100th year, was a tragic day for everyone with an ounce of empathy and compassion. His loss will be felt by all of us, especially his family and those who knew him best.

I would like to offer my sincere condolences to Sir Toms family at this sad time and hope his legacy will live on, long after the pandemic has gone. It is people like him that epitomise the plucky British spirit, sense of duty and strength in the face of adversity. A man unknown just a year ago, rose to the challenges of a virus, that could have taken his life at any stage and became a living, breathing hero, who none of us will forget. The man of the moment will forever live in the hearts of a nation who needed his courage, in order to face the challenges ahead. His achievements will always be remembered, in death as they were in life.

I did manage to speak to Darrell briefly over the last few days and he is phoning me every day whilst I am self isolating. To be honest it is the only time we actually get to talk more often. Having to lock myself away for a week isn't ideal, but it does give me a little bit of 'me' time that I wouldn't otherwise have.

Darrell has also been isolating this week, not because of possible contact with someone who has tested positive for COVID, but because Western Australia entered a brief total lockdown. A security guard, tested positive for the more deadly UK strain and had been working several jobs, bringing him into contact with many different people. The authorities there were understandably concerned about a potential outbreak and immediately did the right thing, closing the state.

Darrell was unsurprisingly frustrated; unlike us Brits, he isn't used to the mandatory mask wearing and rule adherence. When I phoned him today, he told me they had come out of lockdown, after everyone who had come into contact with the virus had tested negative. Once again I can't fault Australia for their quick reaction to a situation, that could have so quickly got out of hand and once again Darrell and Mum can breathe a sigh of relief.

Bush fires have also been raging in Western Australia, just 2 km from where we used to live in Ellenbrook. Of course this isn't entirely unusual, but their proximity to the city is and is also a concern for Darrell and the residents who live there.

Wherever you are in the World at the moment, there does seem to be an overbearing number of problems and disturbances to deal with - COVID, wildfires, political unrest in Burma, famine in Africa and the after effects of Brexit. All of these issues seem to indicate a time of turbulence, that I haven't really witnessed in my lifetime. As a planet we have enjoyed prosperity and progress up to now and enjoyed a relatively peaceful period, free from the unrest and turmoil of the past. 2020 has shown us, fate is always round the corner waiting to rear its ugly head and all of us should prepare for the worst. My generation had become too complacent, it's time all of us woke up to the challenges, that will dominate all our lives from now on.

So, I have another four days of self-isolation to go before I can get back to work, which is going to drive me bonkers once again. I am taking the opportunity to catch up on some reading, blogging and sorting out by IBS symptoms. Today I am fasting for twenty-four hours, which always helps to reset my stomach. Already the pain has subsided, as I just drink green tea and water, and although I am feeling a bit dizzy and tired, I am at least enjoying the benefits of a pain free day.

I'm not really sure why fasting helps, but from what I believe it is about giving the stomach time to rest, without having to process any food; whatever the reasons, it seems to work for me. At a time when all of us should be thinking about our own personal well-being, exercising, eating healthily and doing whatever we can to avoid the terrible effects of Coronavirus, should we be unfortunate to contract it, it is important for me at least to look after my digestive system. When my tummy feels good, so do I. If I can only lower my stress levels as well, I should hopefully weather the storm until it is my turn to be vaccinated, until then it will be more of the same - isolating, mask wearing, social distancing and sanitizing one's hands. Nothing lasts forever and like all of you, I long for the day life returns to normal; stay safe everyone, stay safe!