Things don't seem to be getting any easier at the moment, as Darrell and I both experience a difficult time; both our Mothers are unwell on opposite sides of the World. Until recently, we both lived together in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca, in Spain. This was the life we both chose after a difficult period living in the UK. We both followed the letter of the law and became Spanish residents; making plans for the future. That all changed suddenly, as Darrell's Mother fell ill with Cancer. After only a few months living in Spain, Darrell flew home to spend time with his Mum, as she underwent chemotherapy, In total he was away for seven months, during which time, I carried on as best I could, under extremely burdensome circumstances.

In May of last year, we were reunited and once again started to plan our life together, but our situation changed; this time my Mother was taken seriously ill and it was my turn to leave our home in Spain, to be with my family at a crucial time. Since the end of May, I have been staying with my Aunt in Portsmouth, while my Mother was treated in Queen Alexandra Hospital.

Mum is a double amputee, losing both her legs through complications from Type I Diabetes. Both limbs were removed below the knee, after blood circulation problems. It now seems this issue has once again returned with a vengance;  after spending many years in a wheelchair, a further full amputation is required on one of her legs. Understandably my Mother isn't coping too well at the prospect of another life saving operation and certainly isn't strong enough to suffer the rigours of surgery at the moment. This in itself creates problems, as her condition needs to be closely monitored to ensure blood poisoning doesn't occur. Septicemia is a real source of concern and my parents are just taking each day as it comes, currently living in a purpose built annex at my brothers house.

Over the last few days I have heard from Darrell who has had news about his own Mother, whose condition has worsened. Once again our plans for the future have been put on hold, as my husband makes plans to return home to care for his Mum at this gruelling time. Both of us are putting our own life together on the back burner, while we deal with the spectre of old age. This is not something we have had to contemplate until recently and we have both made the conscious decision to 'do what is right' and be with our respective families in the short term.

Darrell and I have been together for 23 years, a long period in anyone's book and we both feel happy enough to give one another the time and space to deal with issues that most of us will never have to face. Had we both been born in the same Country these problems would not arise. The fact we are from different cultures, thousands of miles apart is a real challenge for us and is likely to remain so, at least for now.

When you fall in love with another person, nobody tells you what the future will bring; you live your life, plan for the years ahead and follow your heart. Our position is extreme and complicated; certainly not for the faint hearted, but it isn't insurmountable. Eventually the pain will ease for us both and we can once again be together. I am embracing my life now, because I have too. I can not dwell on the malaise currently swirling around me; I just have to get on and do what I can, as much as Darrell does. None of us choose a paradoxical path in life, it just happens and we just cope as best we can!

One of the reasons for my return to the UK, is about building bridges. It is clear I will not be living in Britain forever; this is but a stopover while Darrell and I make our final decision, about where our future lies. It is important to grasp this opportunity to reconnect with friends without reservation; this includes engaging with people I haven't seen for many years; Dom is one of those people.

Darrell and I met Dom in 2003, whilst going through yet more testing times in our life. We had much in common and enjoyed the same lifestyle. It became a very close friendship, which ended up with us all living together for a period of time. This was a phase when our business in Salisbury closed, and we both needed somewhere to stay, since we lived above the premises itself; Dom kindly obliged. We remained close for five years, when we finally went our separate ways after a rather acrimonious fall out, something else that regularly happens in my life.

Whilst living in Spain, Dom and I re-established a friendship by the wonders of facebook, chatting often and reliving memories, from what was essentially a positive period in my life. On returning to the UK, I made it a priority to catch up with my old mate, as we did on Thursday. As I grow older I find friendships more important, not only messaging and chatting on social media, but also meeting those who were once an important part of my life, in the flesh. As human beings, one to one contact is important for our wellbeing and we should all make an effort to see our nearest and dearest as often as we can.

Dom really hasn't changed that much and is still the same person he was fifteen years ago, Like both of us, we are slightly older, far more aware of life and filled out in all the right places. Both of us spent a pleasant afternoon on the hottest day of the year, drinking a few pints of Stella at the Giddy Bridge in Southampton.

When you spend time in the company of old friends, it really is amazing what recollections come flooding back; occasions and events that I had thought I had forgotten, when actually it just needed someone like Dom to jog the old grey matter. I had a thoroughly wonderful time. ending up with a tour of Dom's new flat at the grade II listed Wyndham court, right in the heart of the city.

I intend to see many more people while I am here and am glad I can knock another person off my bucket list of friends to see and things to do while I am in Britain. I am sure I will see Dom again, I am only a train journey away after all. Next time he wants to come and see me in Portsmouth, where once again we can talk, remember and discuss just where our lives have taken us; a difficult road, full of twists and turns, which only now, as I approach my fifties becomes important to my future direction. We can only move forwards in life, if we can come to terms with the past and those who played a part in our story. It is necessary to learn from our mistakes but most importantly accept just how far we have come. Without the input of others, our lives would be all the poorer, Dom opened my eyes to new ideas and concepts, he is the wayward brother I never had !

On Monday my Aunty Trisha, Ruby and I, were invited to my Cousin Mike and Julies home at Henderson Park in Eastney.

Cousin Mike, or Uncle as I refer to him, is from my family home in Liverpool. My Aunty Trisha introduced him to his wife Julie, who is absolutely adorable. Mike is a link to my roots up north and it was great to see him after so long. The last time I saw them was when my Nan died, about six years ago; naturally we had a lot to talk about. My tiredness soon disappeared, as we sat talking in their lovely home!

Mike and Julie are aware of the reasons for my return to the UK and fully understand what circumstances persuaded Darrell and I to move to there in 2016. Mike has very definite opinions as to what direction mine and Darrell's life should take. I explained that I would probably leave the UK eventually to be with my husband, starting another new chapter in our life together. Mike was more than forthcoming about any impending move, saying I should remain in Britain, with family who care.

In many respects, most of us believe the grass is always greener and as I have discovered, that isn't always the case. I am happy to be home, surrounded by loved ones and have realised that wherever Darrell and I end up, it has to be around those who are closest, not constrained by those we don't know well enough. As much as I like my friends in Spain, they are just not my family and that is all that counts for me now.

Trisha, Ruby and I spent a pleasant evening , with two relatives who I rarely see; a few glasses of wine, nibbles and a tour of the Caravan park where they live. Of course this is no ordinary park; it is one of the most sort after locations on the south coast, where property prices start at around one hundred thousand pounds. The park homes are beautiful inside and I could actually see myself living and being very happy there. Darrell and I have talked about living in such a community in the past and Henderson Park ticked all the boxes. Situated on Eastney Beach in a perfectly landscaped setting, it is a great way to live your life. I was certainly impressed and who knows what will happen in the future.

A big thank you to Mike and Julie for their hospitality; I hope to see more of these two while living in Portsmouth, as well as the rest of the family in Liverpool when I get the chance. I haven't had a lot of contact with my kin folk in the past, this is changing now and I am happy to report, my life is getting better as a result. Never forget the important ones in your life, even if like me you are in your late forties. It is never too late to build bridges!

I am at a very positive juncture in my life at the moment, as I am sure readers to my blog are very aware. A few days ago I talked about just what I am doing now, from working two jobs and volunteering in a third; I am more than happy to keep myself occupied. Today I am lying on the bed writing, another vocation I am partial too, blogging as often as I can; for me however there are just not enough hours in the day. Since I arrived in the UK at the end of May, I have been busy, not wanting to sit around doing nothing. As a person I have always kept myself engaged, finding it very difficult to sit still, concentrating on one thing at a time. My mind tends to be rather unsettled, no sooner have I started one project, I am quickly thinking of another.

I suppose one could say I am making up for lost time and that is the real story behind my current need to keep going. When I left Spain I was suffering with depression; I had lived for two and a half years in this country and achieved very little. I wasted the time I spent here for no fault of my own. I was always in the wrong place at the wrong time, consequently I missed opportunities working for reputable bars on the Costa Blanca, because I had commitments elsewhere. Nothing seemed to work out for me in Gran Alacant, although I loved this place with a passion. I have not discounted returning to Spain, but next time it has to be at a time of my choosing, not because circumstances dictate so.

Spending a period drifting from one job to another, earning barely enough money to keep my head above water was not fun. In the end I started to resent Spain and decided it was time to leave for as long as I needed, to once again fall in love with the place. As I know now, I returned home at a crucial time, when my parents needed me most, fate had brought me back to the UK at a difficult time. I have made a conscious choice to use this period productively, in complete contrast to the years I left behind. With my husband still living on the Costa Blanca, my concentration shifted from our relationship to my own happiness, as selfish as that seems. I love my husband dearly, but intend to use these months living in Britain to forge a new direction, as yet untested, until we are reunited again.

My priority has always been getting a job, something I did pretty quickly after arriving. I just needed enough money to tide me over during my stay. Working in a local pub was perfect, but I wanted to do something else, so began working for a supermarket shortly afterwards, which has supplemented my income and allowed me to partake in a new challenge. I have never worked in a supermarket before and am actually enjoying it. I am also volunteering in a shop and also hope to start volunteering with cats in August. Since losing my two babies, Lily and Precious last year, I have been somewhat lost. These two were in my life for many years and I want to have that feline contact once again. It just so happens that my Aunt is getting a rescue cat herself and spoke to the organisation on my behalf, who said there would be opportunities available in the middle of August, which I intend to take up with gusto!

Few, that's the entire week taken up, although I still desire more. As a writer I concentrate my efforts on blogging, but have recently been in contact with a British newspaper in Spain, not too far from where I used to live. I want to resurrect my writing for the Expat community I used to be a part of and hope to be once again in the future. I have sent off my first submission for a new column and look forward to being published soon. As a columnist writing for both Spanish and English publications, I am happy to be writing in one capacity or another. I don't see journalism as a chore, I see it as a hobby, something I am always happy to do, wherever I am in the World.

This is a busy time in my life, I have a full, busy schedule, I rarely sit still these days; just the way I like it. With my Mother unwell, I need to keep my mind off the impediments we are all dealing with as a family. Staying active, walking everyday, working hard and following my dreams is the perfect way to deal with some very serious issues that plague my life at the moment. My mind does work on an 'all or nothing' basis, there is no middle ground, I just intend to keep up the momentum, until it's time to go on my travels once again!