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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'
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Christmas 2019!

1/1/2020

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It has been a busy Christmas, far more than any other I can remember in many years. The best thing about being back home in the UK, is our love of the festive season. Christmas was never quite the same in Spain and it became a time of year I resented. Strangely, I have always liked Christmas, often putting up decorations in October. Spending time alone was  hard,   against  everything  I believed in, consequently I just wanted the day to   be  over. This  year  was  very
different, and I have been surrounded by family and friends.

On December the 11th, we were given a pre Christmas party at Tesco, where I work several days a week. I suppose this is when Christmas really started for me and I haven't stopped since. It does feel good to be a part of something at this time of year. In Spain I did feel rather alone and somewhat left out. It can be an unforgiving place and although the Expat community is made up of a fantastic bunch of characters, it can also be very closed to new comers, making life rather difficult!
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I did manage to spend some time with Dad before Christmas, going out with him for a meal and exchanging gifts. This will be a particularly difficult time of year for him, being his first Christmas without Mum, but he is still coping remarkably well.

We chatted over lunch for a good hour or two and Dad seemed relaxed, talking about subjects that interested both of us, from politics to family. We also talked about issues we hadn't spoken about before, which did seem rather awkward at times, but Dad felt it important to lay a few ghosts to rest and at least we cleared the air. It would be yet another Christmas spent apart as a family, but we are becoming a little closer day by day!
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Both my Aunt and I were working on Christmas Eve and with my Aunt also working on Christmas Day, we opened our main presents to one another when we got home from work. I am lucky to be around my extended family for the next few days but my thoughts obviously turn to Darrell in Australia. My World isn't complete without him here and as I open my gifts I can't help remembering the occasions we spent together during better times. This will be the third Christmas we have spent apart and it doesn't get any easier. I am hoping next year will be very different, but for now we both continue doing what we have to!
Christmas Day I went to my Cousin Rachel's. Together with my Aunty Sue, we spent a lovely afternoon eating, drinking and talking, just what all families do on Christmas Day. I had a few too many pints of Stella if I am honest, which didn't sit well with my constitution, but then that's what generally happens at Christmas.
Boxing Day was filled to the rafters with family, lots and lots of family, just like Christmas used to be. Christmas is of course a time for children and they are what makes this day special. The last time I was surrounded by kids, celebrating like today, would have been when I was a child myself. You see, I have never really had any contact with the younger generation, which has always been a disappointment for me, but I am certainly making up for lost time now.

It felt good to be around everyone this Boxing Day. There were tears, crying, laughter and joy, all rolled into one and that made for an interesting day. Family are far more precious now than ever, especially after the loss of Mum. It is the linchpin that holds the generations together, gives us identity and is responsible for influencing what direction we take in life. It is only fitting that we spend time with those closest during the Christmas period, it is certainly what made Boxing Day memorable for me!
On Sunday along with my Aunt I was invited to my Uncle Paul's house, to celebrate Christmas with my late Mother's family. I haven't celebrated with Mum's family for more years than I care to remember. I felt happy and relaxed to be in the company of relatives, that I only usually see at funerals these days and enjoyed spending time with them all.  Of course this Christmas was very different from those of my childhood, but it was a reminder of a past I had almost forgotten about!

Last night I spent a quiet evening relaxing alone on New Years Eve. I wasn't particularly in the mood for socialising at all. I used to enjoy partying and celebrating the new year, but without Darrell, I wasn't in the best of spirits. I used the time to sit and reflect about the past year, another difficult and challenging twelve months. As we move into 2020, I am reminded of the decade we have left behind and can only hope this year will be the beginning of something better;  Darrell and I have survived many battles in the past and will do so again. Every new year offers hope for the future and a belief that this year will be different; I walk into 2020 with my head held high and a determination to survive whatever life throws my way!
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Asian Adventure - Our Journey Of A Lifetime Comes To An End, 17 May 2019!

27/12/2019

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So my Aunt and I have finally left Cambodia and have started our journey home, after three weeks away. We have had an amazing, eventful time, seen many sites, met many people and visited numerous temples, landmarks and culturally diverse communities. I have walked more than I have ever walked before, tasted weird and wonderful cuisine and flown on eight, yes eight aircraft; for a person like me, who is scared of flying, that is a venture I will probably never undertake again. This has been an excursion of discovery in every respect and I remain astonished by just how much we saw in such a short space of time! This was indeed the holiday of a lifetime, but it was more than that, it was an opportunity very few people get; to taste life on the otherside of the World! For someone like me, a small town, village boy, it was a once in a generation adventure that would open my mind to new experiences and test my psyche to its limits!

We are returning to London with Malaysian Airways, not what I wanted, after the disappearance of Flight 370 in 2014, but an airline I have used in the past, without incident. My Aunt and I arrived at Phnom Penh Airport with plenty of time to spare and queued up to secure our seats for the flight home. We were informed that the Kuala Lumpur to London leg of the trip was fully booked and we wouldn’t be able to sit together. For an anxious flyer like me, that wasn’t the news I wanted to hear and after a brief altercation with the staff accepted the inevitable. This was most certainly a flight I was not looking forward to.

A little over an hour ago, we arrived in one of my favourite cities, Kuala Lumpur after a pretty uneventful flight. I haven’t been here since the year 2000 and the airport has changed out of all recognition. Modern, bright, gleaming and typically Asian. This futuristic few hour stop over has brought back many happy memories, travelling to this part of the World with my husband Darrell. In a way it felt like coming home and I was delighted to be here, even if only for a short time! Compared to some of the airports we have travelled through over the last three weeks, KL Airport is a dream, an Oasis and our final farewell on the last leg of our Asian adventure. This big, brash, shiny palace, is the new gateway to Malaysia and the perfect end to our three weeks away!

Darrell and I have visited Kuala Lumpur twice over the years and have an unbreakable bond with this city. Our connection to KL was born in 1997, when I moved to Australia for a second time. By all accounts it has changed a lot and would be a fantastic place to visit once again in the near future. Returning, even briefly has made me smile, something Darrell and I haven’t done a lot of recently. Some places stick in your heart as a reminder of past adventures, with meaning and poignancy; a few destinations remain strong and steadfast, generating direction and guidance and others give you that warm fuzzy feeling and sense of belonging....Malaysia gives them all. This was the first country Darrell and I really fell in love with. We chatted about the possibility of moving to Kuala Lumpur and dreamt of a future far away from British shores. As I sat in the large cavernous concourse, looking towards the tropical views outside, I became hopeful for the future once again, believing in the positivity travel can bring!

With my anxiety levels running high and my Aunt sat in the seat in front, we left KL Airport, next stop the UK…..

I had a lot of time to think on this busy flight. I am certainly not a person to sleep or relax on such a trip, so reading, writing and remembering the last few weeks was top of my agenda as I drank a glass of red wine. Seeing Darrell, even for a short period of time has been amazing and very much a part of our life together now. Having to travel long distances to see each other is necessary and although a little disconcerting and difficult at times, it does give us the opportunity to see places we wouldn’t otherwise visit. Asia is my favourite part of the World and I have been amazed by this undertaking and aghast at the things I have seen. Crocodile farms, Angkor Wat, the magnificent modern city of seoul and its beautiful gracious people, the cat cafes, Buddhist temples in Vietnam, Chi Lin Nunnery in Hong kong and the darker side of Cambodia’s history in Phnom Penh. Together all these experiences and many, many more have made for an exciting, exhilarating and breathtaking adventure, like no other.

As I look forward to my next escapade, next year in Japan and Thailand, I am mindful of the circumstances that brought Darrell and I to where we are today. Darrell’s Mother remains terminally ill in Australia and my Mum has now tragically passed away. We are lucky to travel as we do, but illness and death has been the catalyst for this tumultuous, tempestuous time in our life. Saying farewell to one another has once again been painful, but our expectations of further crusades across this diverse and stunning region of the World is assured. Until we meet again Asia, keep shining bright, you are the light that always brings us together!
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Tanya Hatcher!

24/12/2019

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I was having a chat with the lovely Tanya at work today about her favourite Christmas present and she told me about a gift she recently received. She spoke about her son giving her tickets for a show she had always wanted to see - 'Disney on Ice.' After recently celebrating her Birthday and with Christmas around the corner, she was delighted to receive such  a poignant dispensation. Tanya sent me this delightful video of her priceless reaction; the joy all of us experience when we open a present from a loved one!


As I conclude 'Christmas Thoughts' for another year, I have been amazed by the response of all of you who have taken part in 'My Favourite Christmas Present.' Christmas is a magical time of year and holds many special memories for me, which is why I enjoy hearing from all of you. Everyone has a story to tell, that is important to them, which srikes a chord in all of us at this time of year. The look on Tanya's face will be mirrored by millions of families up and down the Country tomorrow morning and I would like to wish all of you a very Happy Christmas and a big thank you for your continued support throughout the year!
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Christmas - A Sense Of Belonging!

22/12/2019

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This time of year is exhausting. I have just finished a mammoth weekend of work and have finally crashed out on my bed, before another hectic day tomorrow. When you work in retail Christmas is the busiest time of year; you get very little time off. I am fortunate enough to like my job or rather jobs, enjoy being around people and even love the festive season. There isn’t a lot that gets me down and I am a naturally happy person most of the time, so serving people in a busy supermarket, pulling a pint behind a bar or volunteering at Cancer Research is nearly always a joy.

This year I am lucky enough to have Christmas Day and Boxing Day off and will be able to spend quality time with family. Dad will be spending it with my Brother in Basingstoke and I will be with my Aunt and Cousins here in Portsmouth. Christmas is very different to those of the past, especially when Darrell and I lived in Spain. I haven’t enjoyed a family Yuletide for many years, so this is all very different for me, but I am relishing being home, especially when it matters most.

Working at the Newcome Arms last night, I felt comfortable, relaxed and part of the local neighbourhood in a way I have never felt anywhere else. I have written much about the importance of community in the past and have lived in many different parts of the World, so I am somewhat of an expert when integrating with the ‘locals;’ whatever I am doing, I am happiest around people. Mum always used to remark on the friendships I had and my personable nature and that is one aspect of me that has never changed, no matter where I am. Bonds and companionship are consequential, especially with Darrell currently residing in Australia; my relationships with others remain significant and crucial in determining my direction living in the UK.

Christmas is a period of excess and spending time with those closest; when I look back, I really have been a part of some fantastic occasions, the memories of which are vividly flooding back as I write. The raucous parties of the past and cooking for a house full of people are long gone. Today I am happiest in the company of family, opening presents and having a pint or two of Stella; rather tame in comparison to the ghosts of Christmas past. Darrell and I always invited people over on Christmas Day, who would otherwise be alone and that was also another important aspect of our Christmas together. Today that has changed and this conspicuous gesture has become a distant memory. When we are eventually back together, I would love to rekindle this tradition. Everyone should open their doors at Christmas and give someone less fortunate the same joy we all experience.

Tomorrow I have another long shift at work and it is going to be a busy, exhausting day. I am tired and warn out, but I do have Christmas Day and Boxing Day to recover and enjoy that much needed, valuable time with my relatives. It would have been nice to spend time with Dad, after losing Mum in October but that just can’t happen. I have never been close to my Brother and can’t be in his company for too long without falling out; therefore we do what is necessary and avoid each other and go our separate ways. It works for us as a family, can makes things a little awkward at times but essentially it’s the way it’s always been.

Living on the fringes of family life has never been ideal, especially at this time of year, but is there such a thing as the perfect family? I have a great relationship with my Aunt and Cousins and that is all that matters. In the same way we can’t always have what we want for Christmas, we can’t always have what we want in life. As long as we accept our limitations and understand our place in the grand scheme of things, life can be pretty good. Christmas is what you make it, the people you choose to spend time with, those you invite to be a part of it and most important of all the quality time you enjoy with them. Do what makes you happy, not what others expect and enjoy this special, memorable and on occasion, challenging time of year!
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Luke Martin-Jones!

18/12/2019

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I have always loved Christmas, ever since I was a young child. As the dark nights became darker, the bright festive lights would flicker into action and like every other family we would prepare for the big day. I would spend the weeks before Christmas, browsing through Mum’s mail order catalogue, looking for inspiration, trying to decide what to ask for. Of course as a child of the 1970s, I had a vast array of toys to choose from – Action Men, Twister, Spirograph and Lego, to name just a few. As a child I was never greedy or demanding and was always grateful for what I received; I understood my parents weren’t wealthy but never went without and have some fond memories growing up in a time before computers.

My favourite Christmas present wasn’t chosen by me or given by my parents, it was a gift from my Grandparents, something I could never have imagined owning myself and a deeply poignant part of my Childhood.

It must have been 1978 or 1979 when my Grandad Eric and Nanny Violet presented my brother and I with a new Ferguson black and white television set, an amazing present at the time. Technology in the 70s was pretty expensive compared to today, so this was a top of the range gift that a child like me could only dream of. Switching over the three TV channels at will, without being told off was a luxury that gave me a sense of independence I didn’t have before.

My Father was never a fan of the newer channel ITV, so consequently we never really watched it, except when Mum watched Coronation Street. With a brand new Portable sat on my chest of drawers in my bedroom, I could finally see all the programmes I had wanted to watch, but was never allowed. I remember vividly, sneakily watching a show called ‘Tales of the Unexpected.’ This was a bizarre programme, showcasing small one off drama’s that were on occasion quite raunchy for a young eight year old boy, but it was a big part of my growing up process and a show that remains very firmly in my memories from that wonderful age of discovery from innocence!

Televisions are common place now, every household having one in every room, but when I was small they were a ‘big deal;’ having more than one, meant you had made it and I almost felt like the ‘posh lot’ on the expensive side of the street. For once I had something to boast about to my friends; this was my gateway to another World and a future we all now take for granted.

Christmas is a time for making memories and although I no longer have the TV, I still have the recollections from that time. Today that Television would be classed as retro, almost an antique, worthless, harking back to a decade most want to forget. Then it was a life changing present that inspired and educated me, gave me hope for the future and a dream of travelling the World, something I do for real today! A present like no other and a link to a life growing up at a time of change!
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Darrell Martin!

16/12/2019

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Christmas in Australia is a hot affair. I would say my indy 500 bike was my favourite present but in 40c searing heat and another flat tyre from a environment covered and I mean covered in prickles it would be a lie. 

Before the Internet and mobile phones there was a 1985 Sharp red stereo auto reverse cassette player. This little boom box was my most treasured teen angst prize. I could play Tears For Fears, Madonna and Aha louder than ever before; Only sometimes the tapes would get chewed so it had a am/fm radio. Unfortunately outback Australia only had am stations so precious tapes were most important. The auto reverse part was the most important bit.

Most of the commercial music I loved then only had 2 good tracks so this new auto feature could rewind and forward ALBUM FILLER. Although I wouldn't swap my smart phone music player now, 1985 was saved by the greatest present ever.

Darrell Martin

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My Favourite Christmas Present - Christopher Bunday!

14/12/2019

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One year I was given Will Smith's Miami CD along with my first CD player. I was pretty disappointed as I wasn't a fan of the song, however when I opened the CD case it appeared that the staff of, I'm presuming Woolworths (these were the days when everybody bought their music and movies from Woolworths and the days when you took an empty CD case to the till and the staff got the disc from a huge cupboard)... Well it had appeared that the staff had accidentally put a copy of Chumba Wumba 'I get knocked down' in the case along with my Will Smith CD.

My parents were annoyed and thought it was bad (they seemed to think it was an adult song due to the swearing. I was pretty chuffed though... Ironically the Will Smith CD had an awesome B-side which ended up being my favourite.

Also though, one year I accidentally opened my brothers present which was a mosaic kit and then got to keep it (my parents assuming it was their fault) said that 'father Christmas had forgotten to put a name on it' when I was holding the torn wrapping paper in my hands with Kiefers name in bold letters lol. So I screwed it up and chucked it in with the other wrapping paper.


Christopher Bunday
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Liam Purdy!

12/12/2019

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So the year was 1996 and I was a 7 year old boy, no idea what I was getting for Xmas...

My main present was a Sony PlayStation from my Dad! It absolutely changed my life and as I grew older, I realised a lovely release from real life was gaming. At the time consoles were nowhere near as technologically advanced as they are now, but to me it was everything, a Complete game changer, as I have always bought every PlayStation since.

We used to have a skiing game and Tekken when I first got it, with WIRED controllers!


Liam Purdy
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Julie Walton Cordara!

8/12/2019

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My Mum made every Christmas special, she gave us everything we ever wanted. She got into debt every year for us, as Dad was a gambler, leaving us with very little money. All my friends expected us to have nothing on Christmas Day, but that was never the case and still isn't. Mum made Christmas magical, she is my World; if I am anything like her, then I am a very lucky lady!


Julie Walton Cordara
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Ellie Raven!

5/12/2019

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I was never a girly girl, preferring to play with my mates Action Men rather than my Sindy doll. My favourite Christmas present was a white BMX bike, with black mag wheels. To my Dad's horror, I used to love going out on it with my friends from the neighbourhood. The best Christmas present ever!


Ellie Raven
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my home town of Portsmouth on the south coast of England!

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