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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'
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Asian Adventure - Our Journey Of A Lifetime Comes To An End, 17 May 2019!

27/12/2019

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So my Aunt and I have finally left Cambodia and have started our journey home, after three weeks away. We have had an amazing, eventful time, seen many sites, met many people and visited numerous temples, landmarks and culturally diverse communities. I have walked more than I have ever walked before, tasted weird and wonderful cuisine and flown on eight, yes eight aircraft; for a person like me, who is scared of flying, that is a venture I will probably never undertake again. This has been an excursion of discovery in every respect and I remain astonished by just how much we saw in such a short space of time! This was indeed the holiday of a lifetime, but it was more than that, it was an opportunity very few people get; to taste life on the otherside of the World! For someone like me, a small town, village boy, it was a once in a generation adventure that would open my mind to new experiences and test my psyche to its limits!

We are returning to London with Malaysian Airways, not what I wanted, after the disappearance of Flight 370 in 2014, but an airline I have used in the past, without incident. My Aunt and I arrived at Phnom Penh Airport with plenty of time to spare and queued up to secure our seats for the flight home. We were informed that the Kuala Lumpur to London leg of the trip was fully booked and we wouldn’t be able to sit together. For an anxious flyer like me, that wasn’t the news I wanted to hear and after a brief altercation with the staff accepted the inevitable. This was most certainly a flight I was not looking forward to.

A little over an hour ago, we arrived in one of my favourite cities, Kuala Lumpur after a pretty uneventful flight. I haven’t been here since the year 2000 and the airport has changed out of all recognition. Modern, bright, gleaming and typically Asian. This futuristic few hour stop over has brought back many happy memories, travelling to this part of the World with my husband Darrell. In a way it felt like coming home and I was delighted to be here, even if only for a short time! Compared to some of the airports we have travelled through over the last three weeks, KL Airport is a dream, an Oasis and our final farewell on the last leg of our Asian adventure. This big, brash, shiny palace, is the new gateway to Malaysia and the perfect end to our three weeks away!

Darrell and I have visited Kuala Lumpur twice over the years and have an unbreakable bond with this city. Our connection to KL was born in 1997, when I moved to Australia for a second time. By all accounts it has changed a lot and would be a fantastic place to visit once again in the near future. Returning, even briefly has made me smile, something Darrell and I haven’t done a lot of recently. Some places stick in your heart as a reminder of past adventures, with meaning and poignancy; a few destinations remain strong and steadfast, generating direction and guidance and others give you that warm fuzzy feeling and sense of belonging....Malaysia gives them all. This was the first country Darrell and I really fell in love with. We chatted about the possibility of moving to Kuala Lumpur and dreamt of a future far away from British shores. As I sat in the large cavernous concourse, looking towards the tropical views outside, I became hopeful for the future once again, believing in the positivity travel can bring!

With my anxiety levels running high and my Aunt sat in the seat in front, we left KL Airport, next stop the UK…..

I had a lot of time to think on this busy flight. I am certainly not a person to sleep or relax on such a trip, so reading, writing and remembering the last few weeks was top of my agenda as I drank a glass of red wine. Seeing Darrell, even for a short period of time has been amazing and very much a part of our life together now. Having to travel long distances to see each other is necessary and although a little disconcerting and difficult at times, it does give us the opportunity to see places we wouldn’t otherwise visit. Asia is my favourite part of the World and I have been amazed by this undertaking and aghast at the things I have seen. Crocodile farms, Angkor Wat, the magnificent modern city of seoul and its beautiful gracious people, the cat cafes, Buddhist temples in Vietnam, Chi Lin Nunnery in Hong kong and the darker side of Cambodia’s history in Phnom Penh. Together all these experiences and many, many more have made for an exciting, exhilarating and breathtaking adventure, like no other.

As I look forward to my next escapade, next year in Japan and Thailand, I am mindful of the circumstances that brought Darrell and I to where we are today. Darrell’s Mother remains terminally ill in Australia and my Mum has now tragically passed away. We are lucky to travel as we do, but illness and death has been the catalyst for this tumultuous, tempestuous time in our life. Saying farewell to one another has once again been painful, but our expectations of further crusades across this diverse and stunning region of the World is assured. Until we meet again Asia, keep shining bright, you are the light that always brings us together!
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Tanya Hatcher!

25/12/2019

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I was having a chat with the lovely Tanya at work today about her favourite Christmas present and she told me about a gift she recently received. She spoke about her son giving her tickets for a show she had always wanted to see - 'Disney on Ice.' After recently celebrating her Birthday and with Christmas around the corner, she was delighted to receive such  a poignant dispensation. Tanya sent me this delightful video of her priceless reaction; the joy all of us experience when we open a present from a loved one!


As I conclude 'Christmas Thoughts' for another year, I have been amazed by the response of all of you who have taken part in 'My Favourite Christmas Present.' Christmas is a magical time of year and holds many special memories for me, which is why I enjoy hearing from all of you. Everyone has a story to tell, that is important to them, which srikes a chord in all of us at this time of year. The look on Tanya's face will be mirrored by millions of families up and down the Country tomorrow morning and I would like to wish all of you a very Happy Christmas and a big thank you for your continued support throughout the year!
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Christmas - A Sense Of Belonging!

23/12/2019

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This time of year is exhausting. I have just finished a mammoth weekend of work and have finally crashed out on my bed, before another hectic day tomorrow. When you work in retail Christmas is the busiest time of year; you get very little time off. I am fortunate enough to like my job or rather jobs, enjoy being around people and even love the festive season. There isn’t a lot that gets me down and I am a naturally happy person most of the time, so serving people in a busy supermarket, pulling a pint behind a bar or volunteering at Cancer Research is nearly always a joy.

This year I am lucky enough to have Christmas Day and Boxing Day off and will be able to spend quality time with family. Dad will be spending it with my Brother in Basingstoke and I will be with my Aunt and Cousins here in Portsmouth. Christmas is very different to those of the past, especially when Darrell and I lived in Spain. I haven’t enjoyed a family Yuletide for many years, so this is all very different for me, but I am relishing being home, especially when it matters most.

Working at the Newcome Arms last night, I felt comfortable, relaxed and part of the local neighbourhood in a way I have never felt anywhere else. I have written much about the importance of community in the past and have lived in many different parts of the World, so I am somewhat of an expert when integrating with the ‘locals;’ whatever I am doing, I am happiest around people. Mum always used to remark on the friendships I had and my personable nature and that is one aspect of me that has never changed, no matter where I am. Bonds and companionship are consequential, especially with Darrell currently residing in Australia; my relationships with others remain significant and crucial in determining my direction living in the UK.

Christmas is a period of excess and spending time with those closest; when I look back, I really have been a part of some fantastic occasions, the memories of which are vividly flooding back as I write. The raucous parties of the past and cooking for a house full of people are long gone. Today I am happiest in the company of family, opening presents and having a pint or two of Stella; rather tame in comparison to the ghosts of Christmas past. Darrell and I always invited people over on Christmas Day, who would otherwise be alone and that was also another important aspect of our Christmas together. Today that has changed and this conspicuous gesture has become a distant memory. When we are eventually back together, I would love to rekindle this tradition. Everyone should open their doors at Christmas and give someone less fortunate the same joy we all experience.

Tomorrow I have another long shift at work and it is going to be a busy, exhausting day. I am tired and warn out, but I do have Christmas Day and Boxing Day to recover and enjoy that much needed, valuable time with my relatives. It would have been nice to spend time with Dad, after losing Mum in October but that just can’t happen. I have never been close to my Brother and can’t be in his company for too long without falling out; therefore we do what is necessary and avoid each other and go our separate ways. It works for us as a family, can makes things a little awkward at times but essentially it’s the way it’s always been.

Living on the fringes of family life has never been ideal, especially at this time of year, but is there such a thing as the perfect family? I have a great relationship with my Aunt and Cousins and that is all that matters. In the same way we can’t always have what we want for Christmas, we can’t always have what we want in life. As long as we accept our limitations and understand our place in the grand scheme of things, life can be pretty good. Christmas is what you make it, the people you choose to spend time with, those you invite to be a part of it and most important of all the quality time you enjoy with them. Do what makes you happy, not what others expect and enjoy this special, memorable and on occasion, challenging time of year!
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Luke Martin-Jones!

19/12/2019

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I have always loved Christmas, ever since I was a young child. As the dark nights became darker, the bright festive lights would flicker into action and like every other family we would prepare for the big day. I would spend the weeks before Christmas, browsing through Mum’s mail order catalogue, looking for inspiration, trying to decide what to ask for. Of course as a child of the 1970s, I had a vast array of toys to choose from – Action Men, Twister, Spirograph and Lego, to name just a few. As a child I was never greedy or demanding and was always grateful for what I received; I understood my parents weren’t wealthy but never went without and have some fond memories growing up in a time before computers.

My favourite Christmas present wasn’t chosen by me or given by my parents, it was a gift from my Grandparents, something I could never have imagined owning myself and a deeply poignant part of my Childhood.

It must have been 1978 or 1979 when my Grandad Eric and Nanny Violet presented my brother and I with a new Ferguson black and white television set, an amazing present at the time. Technology in the 70s was pretty expensive compared to today, so this was a top of the range gift that a child like me could only dream of. Switching over the three TV channels at will, without being told off was a luxury that gave me a sense of independence I didn’t have before.

My Father was never a fan of the newer channel ITV, so consequently we never really watched it, except when Mum watched Coronation Street. With a brand new Portable sat on my chest of drawers in my bedroom, I could finally see all the programmes I had wanted to watch, but was never allowed. I remember vividly, sneakily watching a show called ‘Tales of the Unexpected.’ This was a bizarre programme, showcasing small one off drama’s that were on occasion quite raunchy for a young eight year old boy, but it was a big part of my growing up process and a show that remains very firmly in my memories from that wonderful age of discovery from innocence!

Televisions are common place now, every household having one in every room, but when I was small they were a ‘big deal;’ having more than one, meant you had made it and I almost felt like the ‘posh lot’ on the expensive side of the street. For once I had something to boast about to my friends; this was my gateway to another World and a future we all now take for granted.

Christmas is a time for making memories and although I no longer have the TV, I still have the recollections from that time. Today that Television would be classed as retro, almost an antique, worthless, harking back to a decade most want to forget. Then it was a life changing present that inspired and educated me, gave me hope for the future and a dream of travelling the World, something I do for real today! A present like no other and a link to a life growing up at a time of change!
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Darrell Martin!

16/12/2019

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Christmas in Australia is a hot affair. I would say my indy 500 bike was my favourite present but in 40c searing heat and another flat tyre from a environment covered and I mean covered in prickles it would be a lie. 

Before the Internet and mobile phones there was a 1985 Sharp red stereo auto reverse cassette player. This little boom box was my most treasured teen angst prize. I could play Tears For Fears, Madonna and Aha louder than ever before; Only sometimes the tapes would get chewed so it had a am/fm radio. Unfortunately outback Australia only had am stations so precious tapes were most important. The auto reverse part was the most important bit.

Most of the commercial music I loved then only had 2 good tracks so this new auto feature could rewind and forward ALBUM FILLER. Although I wouldn't swap my smart phone music player now, 1985 was saved by the greatest present ever.

Darrell Martin

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My Favourite Christmas Present - Christopher Bunday!

14/12/2019

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One year I was given Will Smith's Miami CD along with my first CD player. I was pretty disappointed as I wasn't a fan of the song, however when I opened the CD case it appeared that the staff of, I'm presuming Woolworths (these were the days when everybody bought their music and movies from Woolworths and the days when you took an empty CD case to the till and the staff got the disc from a huge cupboard)... Well it had appeared that the staff had accidentally put a copy of Chumba Wumba 'I get knocked down' in the case along with my Will Smith CD.

My parents were annoyed and thought it was bad (they seemed to think it was an adult song due to the swearing. I was pretty chuffed though... Ironically the Will Smith CD had an awesome B-side which ended up being my favourite.

Also though, one year I accidentally opened my brothers present which was a mosaic kit and then got to keep it (my parents assuming it was their fault) said that 'father Christmas had forgotten to put a name on it' when I was holding the torn wrapping paper in my hands with Kiefers name in bold letters lol. So I screwed it up and chucked it in with the other wrapping paper.


Christopher Bunday
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Liam Purdy!

12/12/2019

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So the year was 1996 and I was a 7 year old boy, no idea what I was getting for Xmas...

My main present was a Sony PlayStation from my Dad! It absolutely changed my life and as I grew older, I realised a lovely release from real life was gaming. At the time consoles were nowhere near as technologically advanced as they are now, but to me it was everything, a Complete game changer, as I have always bought every PlayStation since.

We used to have a skiing game and Tekken when I first got it, with WIRED controllers!


Liam Purdy
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Julie Walton Cordara!

9/12/2019

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My Mum made every Christmas special, she gave us everything we ever wanted. She got into debt every year for us, as Dad was a gambler, leaving us with very little money. All my friends expected us to have nothing on Christmas Day, but that was never the case and still isn't. Mum made Christmas magical, she is my World; if I am anything like her, then I am a very lucky lady!


Julie Walton Cordara
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Ellie Raven!

6/12/2019

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I was never a girly girl, preferring to play with my mates Action Men rather than my Sindy doll. My favourite Christmas present was a white BMX bike, with black mag wheels. To my Dad's horror, I used to love going out on it with my friends from the neighbourhood. The best Christmas present ever!


Ellie Raven
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Asian Adventure - Exploring Phnom Penh, 16 May 2019!

5/12/2019

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This is penultimate day of our Asian adventure, before we fly home tomorrow. We were up bright and early, ready for a packed day of sightseeing and exploring in this city of two million people. When one considers the nine million residents in London, it doesn't seem a huge number in comparison, but it felt far busier than that. As I sat in the restaurant and the top of the Pasteur Hotel, I could see the thronging crowds of people, making their way to work through the streets below. This was indeed a busy city, spectacular in its grandeur, often poor in its construction, but typically modern in its mechanics.

The breakfast at The Pasteur was the best of all the hotels we had stayed in. For someone who doesn't like heights, I felt quite at home and safe in this roof top restaurant. Peering out, I could see the city for miles around. Great Buddhist architectural wonders, mingled awkwardly next to tall imposing tower blocks and wide boulevards of traffic seemed to flow haphazardly, towards the central business district of Phnom Penh. All the wile stark, utilitarian housing, overcrowded and in disrepair, in the middle of constant building works, told me I was in a foreign land. As an observer, looking in, I saw the harsh realities of life in this small Asian country; fascinated by the contrasting sights, sounds and smells, I was surprisingly transfixed and relaxed on this final stop of our tour of the region!
Outside the sun was hotter than anything we had seen on our journey before, as we made our way to our first stop of the day, the Royal Palace. We queued briefly outside and paid our ten American dollar fee to enter the extensive grounds and numerous buildings that made up the palace complex. Lush oriental gardens, stunning monuments and vast cavernous structures, adorned with gold and richly woven fabric greeted us around every corner. By now, as we slowly made our way around this historic compound, the heat was blisteringly balmy and my Aunt and I took shelter whenever we could, buying water from several stalls that had been erected to cater for the needs of tourists.

This impressive Royal Palace, still used by the King of Cambodia was a living piece of history and was the highlight of my stay in the Capital. Cats were everywhere, also trying to take shelter from the sun. Two kittens laid in a flower pot, shaded by green shrubbery, content and happy, unable or unwilling to move. As I walked over to stroke the pair, I noticed messages written on palm leaves, gently swaying in the warm morning breeze; the more I looked, the more words I found. This was a beautiful place, very serene, despite the tourists and a joy to observe. As a fan of all things 'Royal' I have a particular interest in this aspect of a countries history. Whether in Cambodia or at home in the UK, I am always happy to pay homage to a Monarch that gives his or her subjects identity and a link to the past that would otherwise be forgotten.  Cambodia's recent history is a reminder of man's inhumanity to man and the Kings role in bringing his country together after terrible conflict, has ensured his place in the hearts of all those  who live in this nation!
We left the Palace at lunch time and took a walk back to our hotel to freshen up. On our way we passed through the diplomatic quarter, where government buildings sat next to foreign embassies and expensive real estate. As we reached the end of the road, we noticed a small, eclectic looking cafe and decided to pop in for a drink. The Freebird Cafe was owned and run by a rather accommodating gentleman called Henry, who sat with my Aunt and I and his two beautiful cats outside.

The conversation started well enough; talking about our travels around Asia and his life living in Cambodia, but soon we realised Henry was a little different from the norm. Originally from Germany, he described life living with his Father, who was involved in local politics. He spoke of his Father's comrades and his role during the Second World War. By the end of our conversation we were both under no illusions as to Henry's extreme political views and his unorthodox perspective on World War II. Looking back to that day, I really should have been more guarded about who I was and my beliefs, but blinded by the holiday atmosphere, I along with my Aunt agreed to return to 'Freebird' later that evening for a final meal, before we left.
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Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Henry and his Cats, but I wasn't entirely comfortable with the tête-à-tête I was taking part in, it just didn't feel right.

Henry was clearly a bit of a local character. An Australian woman who lived just along the road, near the British Embassy came in to the cafe and had a brief chat. An elderly Ozzie Ex-pat living in a country she had fallen in love with many years ago. Henry seems to be a well known personality and rightly so. Of all the people I met on this trip, he is the most memorable; a person with a story to tell!

I do get uneasy feelings at times around certain individuals and detected radical undertones during our conversation. Henry clearly has a past he wasn't afraid to speak his mind on subjects that are not usually discussed in this small Kingdom. After an hour and a half we left for our hotel to prepare for the next part of our day, at the Killing Fields, just outside Phnom Penh!
We were picked up at the Hotel by our guide for the afternoon. There were about twenty of us travelling to our first stop Prison S21 in Phnom Penh and the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. Here between 1975 and 1979, the Khmer Rough imprisoned, tortured and killed anyone who spoke out against their regime. This was a high security facility at the time and reminders of its terrible past could be seen everywhere.

There was room after room, dingy and dark where beds used for torture, were in situ, very much in the same way they were abandoned in 1979. Everything has remained untouched, blood still staining the walls and floors, bullet holes and chains attached to bars on windows. As one walks along the walkways outside, looking down one can see the gallows, implements used to subdue victims and graves of those who had died. This was a deeply depressing place, commemorating all those who lost their lives during the reign of terror the Khmer Rough perpetuated.

Respectful tourists walked in silence around this macabre compound. Concluding the tour, we observed three areas filled with the photographs of the victims. By the end of it I was left feeling deflated and disturbed at what I had just witnessed. I understood the meaning of this place and am glad I went to pay my respects, but I would never choose to do it again. The harrowing nature of what I saw, will remain with me forever as a reminder of just how evil humans can be!

After Prison S21, we drove outside of the city to the infamous 'Killing Fields.' Thousands upon thousands of people died here. The region is still littered with the debris of the fallen. As one walks around the fields, one is conscious of the bones and fragments of clothes still left in the dirt beneath ones feet. You are told to leave the artifacts in place, as they are still collected each morning carefully by volunteers and preserved for future generations, to understand what transpired in this corner of Cambodia.

Unlike Prison S21, the Killing Fields left me with a feeling of hope for the future. Even the large tree, below which many thousands of people died, now adorned with bracelets of remembrance, left me feeling grateful for the life I lead and thankful that all those who died are remembered each and every day. These were brutal years and the Cambodian people have grown to accept their dark past, hardened to the crimes that were committed in their name. This was a poignant place to end our time in Cambodia, if only to remember all those that made our journey so memorable and giving us the opportunity to understand the history of a Country so recently ravaged by war!
...and finally an evening of home cooked food and more chatter at the Freebird Cafe!

Tomorrow....Time to say goodbye!
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