Christmas - A Sense Of Belonging!

This time of year is exhausting. I have just finished a mammoth weekend of work and have finally crashed out on my bed, before another hectic day tomorrow. When you work in retail Christmas is the busiest time of year; you get very little time off. I am fortunate enough to like my job or rather jobs, enjoy being around people and even love the festive season. There isn’t a lot that gets me down and I am a naturally happy person most of the time, so serving people in a busy supermarket, pulling a pint behind a bar or volunteering at Cancer Research is nearly always a joy.

This year I am lucky enough to have Christmas Day and Boxing Day off and will be able to spend quality time with family. Dad will be spending it with my Brother in Basingstoke and I will be with my Aunt and Cousins here in Portsmouth. Christmas is very different to those of the past, especially when Darrell and I lived in Spain. I haven’t enjoyed a family Yuletide for many years, so this is all very different for me, but I am relishing being home, especially when it matters most.

Working at the Newcome Arms last night, I felt comfortable, relaxed and part of the local neighbourhood in a way I have never felt anywhere else. I have written much about the importance of community in the past and have lived in many different parts of the World, so I am somewhat of an expert when integrating with the ‘locals;’ whatever I am doing, I am happiest around people. Mum always used to remark on the friendships I had and my personable nature and that is one aspect of me that has never changed, no matter where I am. Bonds and companionship are consequential, especially with Darrell currently residing in Australia; my relationships with others remain significant and crucial in determining my direction living in the UK.

Christmas is a period of excess and spending time with those closest; when I look back, I really have been a part of some fantastic occasions, the memories of which are vividly flooding back as I write. The raucous parties of the past and cooking for a house full of people are long gone. Today I am happiest in the company of family, opening presents and having a pint or two of Stella; rather tame in comparison to the ghosts of Christmas past. Darrell and I always invited people over on Christmas Day, who would otherwise be alone and that was also another important aspect of our Christmas together. Today that has changed and this conspicuous gesture has become a distant memory. When we are eventually back together, I would love to rekindle this tradition. Everyone should open their doors at Christmas and give someone less fortunate the same joy we all experience.

Tomorrow I have another long shift at work and it is going to be a busy, exhausting day. I am tired and warn out, but I do have Christmas Day and Boxing Day to recover and enjoy that much needed, valuable time with my relatives. It would have been nice to spend time with Dad, after losing Mum in October but that just can’t happen. I have never been close to my Brother and can’t be in his company for too long without falling out; therefore we do what is necessary and avoid each other and go our separate ways. It works for us as a family, can makes things a little awkward at times but essentially it’s the way it’s always been.

Living on the fringes of family life has never been ideal, especially at this time of year, but is there such a thing as the perfect family? I have a great relationship with my Aunt and Cousins and that is all that matters. In the same way we can’t always have what we want for Christmas, we can’t always have what we want in life. As long as we accept our limitations and understand our place in the grand scheme of things, life can be pretty good. Christmas is what you make it, the people you choose to spend time with, those you invite to be a part of it and most important of all the quality time you enjoy with them. Do what makes you happy, not what others expect and enjoy this special, memorable and on occasion, challenging time of year!

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