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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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My Favourite Christmas Present - Christopher Bunday!

14/12/2019

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One year I was given Will Smith's Miami CD along with my first CD player. I was pretty disappointed as I wasn't a fan of the song, however when I opened the CD case it appeared that the staff of, I'm presuming Woolworths (these were the days when everybody bought their music and movies from Woolworths and the days when you took an empty CD case to the till and the staff got the disc from a huge cupboard)... Well it had appeared that the staff had accidentally put a copy of Chumba Wumba 'I get knocked down' in the case along with my Will Smith CD.

My parents were annoyed and thought it was bad (they seemed to think it was an adult song due to the swearing. I was pretty chuffed though... Ironically the Will Smith CD had an awesome B-side which ended up being my favourite.

Also though, one year I accidentally opened my brothers present which was a mosaic kit and then got to keep it (my parents assuming it was their fault) said that 'father Christmas had forgotten to put a name on it' when I was holding the torn wrapping paper in my hands with Kiefers name in bold letters lol. So I screwed it up and chucked it in with the other wrapping paper.



Christopher Bunday
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Liam Purdy!

12/12/2019

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So the year was 1996 and I was a 7 year old boy, no idea what I was getting for Xmas...

My main present was a Sony PlayStation from my Dad! It absolutely changed my life and as I grew older, I realised a lovely release from real life was gaming. At the time consoles were nowhere near as technologically advanced as they are now, but to me it was everything, a Complete game changer, as I have always bought every PlayStation since.

We used to have a skiing game and Tekken when I first got it, with WIRED controllers!



Liam Purdy
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Julie Walton Cordara!

8/12/2019

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My Mum made every Christmas special, she gave us everything we ever wanted. She got into debt every year for us, as Dad was a gambler, leaving us with very little money. All my friends expected us to have nothing on Christmas Day, but that was never the case and still isn't. Mum made Christmas magical, she is my World; if I am anything like her, then I am a very lucky lady!


Julie Walton Cordara
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Ellie Raven!

5/12/2019

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I was never a girly girl, preferring to play with my mates Action Men rather than my Sindy doll. My favourite Christmas present was a white BMX bike, with black mag wheels. To my Dad's horror, I used to love going out on it with my friends from the neighbourhood. The best Christmas present ever!


Ellie Raven
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Asian Adventure - Exploring Phnom Penh, 16 May 2019!

5/12/2019

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This is penultimate day of our Asian adventure, before we fly home tomorrow. We were up bright and early, ready for a packed day of sightseeing and exploring in this city of two million people. When one considers the nine million residents in London, it doesn't seem a huge number in comparison, but it felt far busier than that. As I sat in the restaurant and the top of the Pasteur Hotel, I could see the thronging crowds of people, making their way to work through the streets below. This was indeed a busy city, spectacular in its grandeur, often poor in its construction, but typically modern in its mechanics.

The breakfast at The Pasteur was the best of all the hotels we had stayed in. For someone who doesn't like heights, I felt quite at home and safe in this roof top restaurant. Peering out, I could see the city for miles around. Great Buddhist architectural wonders, mingled awkwardly next to tall imposing tower blocks and wide boulevards of traffic seemed to flow haphazardly, towards the central business district of Phnom Penh. All the wile stark, utilitarian housing, overcrowded and in disrepair, in the middle of constant building works, told me I was in a foreign land. As an observer, looking in, I saw the harsh realities of life in this small Asian country; fascinated by the contrasting sights, sounds and smells, I was surprisingly transfixed and relaxed on this final stop of our tour of the region!

Outside the sun was hotter than anything we had seen on our journey before, as we made our way to our first stop of the day, the Royal Palace. We queued briefly outside and paid our ten American dollar fee to enter the extensive grounds and numerous buildings that made up the palace complex. Lush oriental gardens, stunning monuments and vast cavernous structures, adorned with gold and richly woven fabric greeted us around every corner. By now, as we slowly made our way around this historic compound, the heat was blisteringly balmy and my Aunt and I took shelter whenever we could, buying water from several stalls that had been erected to cater for the needs of tourists.

This impressive Royal Palace, still used by the King of Cambodia was a living piece of history and was the highlight of my stay in the Capital. Cats were everywhere, also trying to take shelter from the sun. Two kittens laid in a flower pot, shaded by green shrubbery, content and happy, unable or unwilling to move. As I walked over to stroke the pair, I noticed messages written on palm leaves, gently swaying in the warm morning breeze; the more I looked, the more words I found. This was a beautiful place, very serene, despite the tourists and a joy to observe. As a fan of all things 'Royal' I have a particular interest in this aspect of a countries history. Whether in Cambodia or at home in the UK, I am always happy to pay homage to a Monarch that gives his or her subjects identity and a link to the past that would otherwise be forgotten.  Cambodia's recent history is a reminder of man's inhumanity to man and the Kings role in bringing his country together after terrible conflict, has ensured his place in the hearts of all those  who live in this nation!

We left the Palace at lunch time and took a walk back to our hotel to freshen up. On our way we passed through the diplomatic quarter, where government buildings sat next to foreign embassies and expensive real estate. As we reached the end of the road, we noticed a small, eclectic looking cafe and decided to pop in for a drink. The Freebird Cafe was owned and run by a rather accommodating gentleman called Henry, who sat with my Aunt and I and his two beautiful cats outside.

The conversation started well enough; talking about our travels around Asia and his life living in Cambodia, but soon we realised Henry was a little different from the norm. Originally from Germany, he described life living with his Father, who was involved in local politics. He spoke of his Father's comrades and his role during the Second World War. By the end of our conversation we were both under no illusions as to Henry's extreme political views and his unorthodox perspective on World War II. Looking back to that day, I really should have been more guarded about who I was and my beliefs, but blinded by the holiday atmosphere, I along with my Aunt agreed to return to 'Freebird' later that evening for a final meal, before we left.

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Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with Henry and his Cats, but I wasn't entirely comfortable with the tête-à-tête I was taking part in, it just didn't feel right.

Henry was clearly a bit of a local character. An Australian woman who lived just along the road, near the British Embassy came in to the cafe and had a brief chat. An elderly Ozzie Ex-pat living in a country she had fallen in love with many years ago. Henry seems to be a well known personality and rightly so. Of all the people I met on this trip, he is the most memorable; a person with a story to tell!

I do get uneasy feelings at times around certain individuals and detected radical undertones during our conversation. Henry clearly has a past he wasn't afraid to speak his mind on subjects that are not usually discussed in this small Kingdom. After an hour and a half we left for our hotel to prepare for the next part of our day, at the Killing Fields, just outside Phnom Penh!


We were picked up at the Hotel by our guide for the afternoon. There were about twenty of us travelling to our first stop Prison S21 in Phnom Penh and the Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum. Here between 1975 and 1979, the Khmer Rough imprisoned, tortured and killed anyone who spoke out against their regime. This was a high security facility at the time and reminders of its terrible past could be seen everywhere.

There was room after room, dingy and dark where beds used for torture, were in situ, very much in the same way they were abandoned in 1979. Everything has remained untouched, blood still staining the walls and floors, bullet holes and chains attached to bars on windows. As one walks along the walkways outside, looking down one can see the gallows, implements used to subdue victims and graves of those who had died. This was a deeply depressing place, commemorating all those who lost their lives during the reign of terror the Khmer Rough perpetuated.

Respectful tourists walked in silence around this macabre compound. Concluding the tour, we observed three areas filled with the photographs of the victims. By the end of it I was left feeling deflated and disturbed at what I had just witnessed. I understood the meaning of this place and am glad I went to pay my respects, but I would never choose to do it again. The harrowing nature of what I saw, will remain with me forever as a reminder of just how evil humans can be!


After Prison S21, we drove outside of the city to the infamous 'Killing Fields.' Thousands upon thousands of people died here. The region is still littered with the debris of the fallen. As one walks around the fields, one is conscious of the bones and fragments of clothes still left in the dirt beneath ones feet. You are told to leave the artifacts in place, as they are still collected each morning carefully by volunteers and preserved for future generations, to understand what transpired in this corner of Cambodia.

Unlike Prison S21, the Killing Fields left me with a feeling of hope for the future. Even the large tree, below which many thousands of people died, now adorned with bracelets of remembrance, left me feeling grateful for the life I lead and thankful that all those who died are remembered each and every day. These were brutal years and the Cambodian people have grown to accept their dark past, hardened to the crimes that were committed in their name. This was a poignant place to end our time in Cambodia, if only to remember all those that made our journey so memorable and giving us the opportunity to understand the history of a Country so recently ravaged by war!

...and finally an evening of home cooked food and more chatter at the Freebird Cafe!

Tomorrow....Time to say goodbye!

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Asian Adventure - Arrival in Phnom Penh, 15 May 2019!

2/12/2019

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We arrived at Siem Reap Airport, with plenty of time to spare. Since we were catching an internal flight, the process of getting through security was a breeze; we more or less walked straight through the gate towards the plane, which was already waiting outside. To my horror, it was one of the small propeller type jets and looked as old as me; my worst nightmare. I had read much about internal flights in Cambodia and none of the reviews were great, so this was not going to be the best part of my holiday.

The flight from Siem Reap to Phnom Penh was in the end pretty non eventful. The trip itself was short, only half an hour long and like most journey's on smaller aircraft you could feel every bit of turbulence, rocking backwards and forwards, at times holding on for dear life. In reality I have a psychological fear of flying, which is totally irrational, but it does make it more difficult for me to fly. Eight flights in three weeks is excessive and I wont be undertaking such an extensive vacation again!

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We took a cab from Phnom Penh Airport to The Pasteur 51 Hotel and Residences in the centre of the city. Driving through the streets I noticed just how different Phnom Penh was to the  more provincial Siem Reap. Building work was taking place everywhere. New apartments, office blocks and shops; modern, sleek and very western in style. This was a growing city, busy, vibrant and full of life. If I am honest, I much preferred the small town of vibe of Siem Reap, but was looking forward to exploring the capital of Cambodia tomorrow, once we had settled in.

The lobby of this well presented hotel had a supermarket attached, serving those living in the immediate area. The Pasteur also has full time residents, residing all year round, who use this well appointed grocery store. I was impressed by the array of goods on offer and the mixture of western and Asian influences on display. It did seem a little odd having a food shop in the hotel, but it worked perfectly well; a place we used often whilst staying here.


Our first stop after arrival was the Sky Bar at the top of the Hotel. These large open entertainment areas seem to be popular in this part of the World. Big awe inspiring terraces, with bars and restaurants, exposed, open to the elements, with 360 degree views of the city below. Phnom Penh was clearly visible, as I gazed across the expanse before me. I asked my Aunt to walk over to the side and take some pictures, having a fear of heights, not wanting to do it myself. The roof top pool was especially impressive, situated on the edge of the tower block, with a sheer drop below! A glass panel was inserted into the corner of the roof, where you could stand, looking down towards the street below; far too scary for me!

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The hotel room was basic but comfortable. We have stayed in many places during our stay in Asia and this was as good as any other, but the impressive Sky Bar, put it up there at the top of our list. I have felt so at home over the last three weeks and couldn't ask for a better place to end our tour of this beautiful region.

Suitably refreshed and relaxed after our journey, we took a wonder outside to explore the area. This was a large city, so as day turned to dark, the bright neon lights came on, in full intense glory, illuminating our way through the narrow streets. Of course this wasn't a capital like Tokyo or London, but even so, you had a feeling you were in a big metropolis, a definite change from the Cambodia we had seen before.


After a few drinks in the Sky Bar, we went to the Pasteur Restaurant at the bottom of our hotel for a bite to eat. The food here was typically Cambodian and tasted delicious.  My Aunt and I chatted about our adventures so far and discussed a busy day planned for tomorrow. We are only in Phnom Penh for a short while, so need to fit in as much as we can in one day.

It was nice to sit back and relax for a few hours in beautiful surroundings. The smells of the food cooking in the kitchen were an assault on the senses, like nothing I have ever encountered before. I began to realise, we were finally coming to the end of our time in Asia and I started to feel sad at everything we were going to leave behind. As reality set in, it was time to head to bed and an early night before our final, mammoth day in a country I had fallen in love with. This was the beginning of the end of our Asian adventure!

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Birthday Celebrations & Bon Voyage!

1/12/2019

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On Tuesday we celebrated Darrell's Birthday, a few days before he left for Australia once again. My Aunt had booked a table at The Noble House Restaurant in Southsea. This is a place I haven't been to before, but have heard good things about, so was looking forward to a wonderful evening.

Everyone met at The Newcome Arms at 7pm; the pub was packed with Portsmouth fans. With Pompey playing at home, the bar was busier than I had seen it in a long time, but we found somewhere to stand and enjoyed the charged atmosphere, along with everyone else. Despite my dislike of football, I have become rather fond of football days, working at The Newcome, so being on the other side of the bar, made a pleasant change.

Darrell met many of those I now regard as friends and was able to say goodbye to the regulars he had met during his stay.  I am honoured to have had the the opportunity to meet the numerous personalities who frequent this popular public house, because they are a large part of my life and have been generous in welcoming me to their local community, a community I feel a big part of. Darrell has also found the nature of everyone, including my Aunts long standing friends, who joined us at Noble house, refreshingly open and embracing, one of the reasons I love living in Portsmouth.

After a few early evening drinks, we arrived at this highly recommended restaurant and without exception, the food was first class. I am not the biggest fan of Chinese food but the experience I had there, could very well change my mind. At a cost of twenty two pounds a head, including drinks, the price was pretty reasonable too; this is a place I will certainly be visiting again!
The following morning we went for a day out at Gunwharf Quays. Like most of November, the rain was pouring down, but that didn't detract from Darrell's last day in Britain. Pat had travelled down from Wiltshire, to also spend the day with us. It has been many years since Darrell last saw her and they had much to catch up on. It was great to do 'normal' things, mooching around the shops and having a spot of lunch at The Slug and Lettuce. This has been the best aspect of having Darrell home over the past month, just doing what we used to do, before our life was turned upside down.

Spending time with family, positively, celebrating Darrell's 47th Birthday has been a joy. Even when we were living together in the UK or Spain, we rarely saw family, so this year, Darrell's Birthday was all the more important. My Aunt and Cousin's have welcomed him into their lives, just like the community in which I live and that is something neither of us are really used to. People often ask me why I take a lot of photographs, especially of people I see everyday, but they really don't understand just how important family is to me these days. These are relations I didn't see for many years and without their love and support, my life would be so much more difficult.

A few hours, walking in the pouring rain with my two Aunty Pats and Cousin's Emmy and Thomas, is worth all the tea in China. I will look back on this day out as an important milestone in my life, rather than just another day to be forgotten about. Most people take occasions like this for granted - I don't! Precious memories are few and far between as I grow older; I want to remember the good times, to help me get through the bad!
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Darrell left for Singapore and Australia on Thursday, after a month away from home. We have both become used to the nature of our relationship and always make the most of the time we have together. This month has seen a mixture of emotions - laughter, tears, anger and happiness, but through every twist and turn we have grown stronger as a couple. Darrell isn't used to just how big my family is and has found it difficult adjusting to life surrounded by Aunt's, Uncles and Cousins, yes plenty of Cousins, but over the weeks he has started to understand the importance of family. It has been a very difficult road getting here; my strained and at times acrimonious connection with my kinfolk has turned full circle and life is far better now than it ever has been. Of course Darrell is a part of that family and like me, he is just beginning to discover his place in it!

As I once again bid farewell to my husband, for another six months, I am mindful of the continual battles ahead. By the time I see Darrell again, I will have reached the grand old age of 49, a year closer to death as they say. Neither of us are getting any younger and we have to start thinking about the direction our life is travelling in, as we reach the beginnings of old age. Coming back together as a couple is a pressing priority; with the death of my Mother I am now happier to move from the UK once again and am looking forward to a future away from a decade of misadventure, impediment and pain!
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Deborah Brown!

29/11/2019

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My favourite Christmas presents, were everything we got really; When I was a child, my parents had very little, but we never went without! Christmas was always a time for families and not just about how much we had!

....However several things come to mind: A Tiny Tears, scooter and a farmyard. I remember Dad stuck all the pieces onto a big board - farm buildings and fences. A special part of my childhood!



Deborah Brown
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My Favourite Christmas Present - Samantha Brooks!

29/11/2019

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I’ve been trying to think about this....

and whist I can remember different gifts, one that’s sticking out to me is a CD I received when I was about 3 or 4 (my first CD) and it was a collection of Disney songs. The cover was orange with Mickey Mouse on, I think I still have it somewhere to this day x



Samantha Brooks
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Friends - Old and New!

25/11/2019

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This is Darrell's last week in Britain, before he flies home to Perth on Thursday, so he has been trying to see as many friends as he can before he leaves. Darrell and I have made many friendships over the years, so seeing everyone is just an impossible task. The ones who could be bothered and had the time, travelled to Portsmouth to see Darrell, which has taken the pressure off him and I travelling to see them. I lead a very busy life and have little time to do anything else but work!

On Saturday Chris and Sam came to say goodbye to Darrell for another year. They were regular visitors to our home for many years and often popped in to say hi when we lived in Southampton. I have of course seen Chris many times since we returned from Spain, but not Sam. This was the first time I had seen him since 2015 and this young lad has grown up a lot since then.

It remains important to stay in contact with many of those we have known since we got together 24 years ago and both of us do try to see as many friends as we can. Life may well have taken us in different directions, but the bond all of us share is still there. I have had many people come and go from my life and the truth is, I am a very difficult person to understand and get to know, but a few have stuck around long enough to know the real me - Sam and Chris are just two of them.

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Last night I dragged Darrell out with me and a couple of close friends from the supermarket where I work. Our mutual friend Paul also came along and we had a fantastic night, with lots of laughs.

I haven't had much to laugh about recently, having been constantly ill, so it's nights like last night that have become important. Letting ones hair down, having a few drinks with mates and spending quality time together is just what the Doctor ordered and I finally sat back, relaxed and enjoyed myself.

The people I have met, since returning to the UK have been a tremendous source of support in recent times and I feel like I have known them for many years.  Those I am close to now are very different to those I was acquainted with in the past and have given me an insight into a World, that I rarely saw otherwise. As a gay man my life was centred around the gay community and I had very few 'straight' mates. Today I much prefer the company of my hetrosexual peers, finding them more honest and trustworthy, without an agenda. Also the friends I have are of a similar age, unlike the younger age group we tended to gravitate towards ten years ago. We have far more in common, enjoy the same things, taste in music and conversations. Above all I live life at a more sedate pace these days, which suits my general disposition, as I grow older. I am an oldie now, in every respect and enjoy the activities us older people enjoy. This is a time where I am finally comfortable in my own skin.

I am grateful for the friendships I have and for the memories I am making everyday. This is a new chapter in my life, filled with new comrades, companions and experiences and I couldn't be happier. Darrell was equally relaxed and impressed with the attachments I have formed and seemed far more at ease with our current situation, than he has before; that makes me happy and my life much easier. As the sun begins to set on our relationship for another six months, I feel more secure and anchored with who I am and where I'm heading and look forward with positivity rather than apprehension. Friends are the superglue that holds me together right now, without them, life would be difficult to bear and my days in Britain far longer; without my mates my World would be a much smaller place!

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    48 year old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently residing in my hometown of Portsmouth on the south coast of England!

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    A place to call home
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