La Rivière d' Angkor Resort

After our late arrival from South Korea last night, I was expecting a bit of a lie in this morning - No such luck. My body clock decided to wake me up bright an early, after a fantastic nights sleep in the most comfy of beds. The mosquito nets worked a treat, I didn't get bitten once and there were no large spiders crawling across my face, who could ask for more. I could hear the birds singing in the tropical gardens of the hotel outside and a few unusual wildlife sounds downstairs, Not noises I had heard before, but all part of the excitement of exploring a new country.

I checked the bathroom thoroughly for snakes and insects that could have been lurking under toilet seats or in shower heads, then  had a rather relaxing soak in the large granite bath. The water was warm and inviting and the tranquil setting perfect. This was the first bath I had had since leaving the UK and was going to make the most of it; after all the walking over the last few weeks, it was just what I needed. Sadly I was unable to remove the plug from the bath after jamming it in the hole a little too hard; a job for reception!!

My Aunt and I made our way downstairs and outside where we had a brief chat with the receptionist, who said they would come and fix the bath while we were at breakfast, which was a short walk around the pool and into the restaurant. The atmosphere was distinctly colonial, sitting on the veranda tucking into a traditional 'English' affair with a slight Cambodian touch. The staff were attentive and extremely gracious, catering for our every need; this was most certainly five star luxury at its best! As I sat there taking in the surroundings, I was struck by the intense heat, so different to where we had been before and the gecko's adorning the walls!

We made our way back to the room, to grab our bags for the day ahead and bumped into a Cambodian bobtail cat, feeding her kittens outside one of the hotel rooms. This made the hotel even more special. As a cat lover, I am always happy to have our feline friends close, they were a warming addition to our stay at La Rivière d' Angkor Resort.

Buddhist Retreat

Leaving the compound of the hotel, we were greeted by a busy, somewhat chaotic scene. Traffic, bikes, tuk tuk's and locals on foot, heading in all directions. In front of the resort, a large river, flowing through the city of Siem Reap. Families with children, the occasional tourist and others, all enjoying the morning heat, which by now, at 9am had already reached thirty degrees.

We turned right and began to walk up the road, not knowing where we were heading, but just taking in the sites, smells and sounds of the beautiful place. I was in awe of this historic paradise but a little apprehensive of what we might find around each corner. As we sauntered gently towards what we believed to be the centre of town, we were approached by a tuk tuk driver called Thomas, who followed us up the road, trying to persuade us to take a tour of the city. Saying no to a tuk tuk driver is near impossible, but we persisted, until we passed a Buddhist retreat and went inside, followed by Thomas, who parked up, as we walked eagerly around.

This complex was a fusion of colour, unbelievable architecture and a hive of activity. Men, wearing  traditional Buddhist attire, cleaning, sweeping and feeding animals, cats and dogs alike. Small children running around, amusing themselves as best they could and large cauldrons of food, gently simmering over fires, outside run down ramshackled dwellings, hidden behind trees and bushes, creating a little modesty for those who lived inside.  A stray kitten, who looked terribly ill, started to follow me as I walked around the dusty courtyards, meowing helplessly, yet there was nothing I could do. It is so upsetting seeing how animals are treated in Cambodia and other Asian countries, but as I was told, these are poor people who can barely look after themselves, let alone feed animals. All I could do was spend a few moments, taking time to talk gently to this poor creature, hoping it wouldn't be too long, before he or she passed quietly away. This is the side of Asia, I will never get used to.

Royal Palace - Siem Reap

Thomas was waiting for us, as we left the retreat and we both decided to take a tour of Siem Reap in his tuk tuk; it was easier, than trying to avoid him and the other drivers, all vying for the lucrative tourist market. We agreed a price of twenty American dollars for the journey and set off to our first destination. Everything in Cambodia is paid for in dollars. Local currency fluctuations are so great, that the stable US green back is the best way to pay for goods and services. All major banks supply dollars and ATM's are stocked also. It did seem a rather odd practice to me, but Cambodia functions perfectly well and certainly doesn't seem to be at any disadvantage as a consequence.

Driving along the busy, tumultuous streets, dodging cars and other tuk tuks, we eventually reached at our first destination - The Royal Palace. We had arrived during celebrations for the King of Cambodia's Birthday and the roads and buildings were highly decorated in homage to His Majesty. It was a public holiday and there were people everywhere as we took a leisurely walk around the Royal enclosure and temples, as well as the many stalls selling everything from live turtles and birds to tropical fresh fruit and vegetables. The subjects of this deeply Conservative nation, were dressed accordingly, not a pair of shorts in sight. Many lit candles at the temple opposite the palace, offering a prayer for those they had lost and others waited patiently in queues for their turn to enter the Kings estate. This was a spectacle to behold, not an angry voice in site, everyone just happy to be together, celebrating their beloved Kings Birthday.

The Killing Fields - Siem Reap

Our next stop was the Siem Reap Killing fields, where many people lost their lives under the regime of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge between 1975-79. This was a deeply moving place, where religious icons and statues nestled quietly, next to the graves, skulls and remains of those who died. As one walked around, one was struck by the silence and run down nature of this eerie, chilling place. Buddhist monks gently bowed their heads as one walked past and more feral bobtail cats and stray dogs fought for their place in the hierarchy of this monument to the evil. Once again I was left rather empty by our visit; something we had to do, but a part of Cambodian recent history that is difficult to comprehend!

Local Handicrafts

During out tour of Siem Reap, Thomas took us to many local handicraft establishments, where we could buy local souvenirs to take home. The photographs above show one such workshop, where disabled veterans from the war with the Khmer Rough, quietly sit, producing some truly wonderful works of art. Of course like many of the studios we visited, the items were terribly overpriced and it was doubtful these people received much recompense for all their hard work. I bought a few items of interest and left, feeling a little sad that this was the only way these poor disabled workers could make a few dollars.

Until you visit a place like Cambodia, you really have no idea how others live and have to survive, without the luxuries we have here in the west. Thomas took us to these small shops because he was able to then fund his own business driving a tuk tuk, given money for fuel by the owners for taking tourists, like my Aunt and I, to their businesses; a very different World and unforgiving place to survive.

War Memorial

Finally Thomas took us to the Siem Reap War Memorial. Another strangely poignant place, bringing Cambodia's tainted past to life. A few moments contemplation, surrounded by the names of the fallen, brought to an end an eye opening first day in the city, before we hit the town for a few drinks at the famous Pub Street!

Pub Street

Thomas dropped us off at the hotel, where we spent an hour freshening up before heading to the notorious Pub Street in the heart of the City. As the name suggests, this is an area full of bars and clubs, cheap drinks and food in a vibrant, characterful environment. The place was teaming with tourists, backpackers and what I can only describe as alternative types, all enjoying the last of the sun, before the evening crowds took over.

My Aunt and I had a few beers in a local bar, costing a rather agreeable fifty cents. Sitting there I was amazed by the sites and sounds around me, experiences I had never seen before. Snakes in glass cases sold for food, Crocodile burgers across the road and various insects on sticks, deep fried ready to be eaten. The smell of the streets could be rather overpowering at times, with raw sewage and rats commonplace, but it really didn't matter on the scale of things, this is what gave Siem Reap its magical third World charm.

In the evening we gate crashed a Gay Pride Celebration in a nearby hotel, a rather constrained affair, not something I was used to! Sat drinking beers on the tropical roof terrace of this palatial building, surrounded by the great and good of Siem Reaps gay community, mainly consisting of older white men and young Cambodian boys, both my Aunt and I felt rather out of place and left early. Tomorrow was going to be another long day; it was time to get some sleep!

It was back to the Cancer Research fold today, after a few weeks break. Not only have I been busy, working everyday for over a fortnight, but I have had a few personal issues to sort out. It really felt good to be back with the gang, even though I did find it hard.

Let me explain...

...On Thursday I was put on beta blockers, a drug that slows your heart rate down. As a person, I have always suffered with anxiety, nothing major, but enough of an issue to see my Doctor about. On top of this, I have had some blood pressure and heart issues, culminating in a rather high heart rate of 198 beats per minute. After explaining my concerns to my GP, she suggested taking beta blockers, they not only slow your heart down but also help deal with the physical symptoms of anxiety. Well I duly followed her advice and started a course of Propranolol on Thursday; 40 mg up to three times a day, hoping to at least start dealing with the concerns I currently have.

I have been in a little bit of a daze since taking these pills and have found adjusting to them rather difficult, but understand it is important to carry on taking the medication. Today with my heart rate down to 55 beats a minute, I made my way to Cancer Research to begin a few hours work, hoping to overcome the side effects I am suffering. Being around Zerina and everyone who work there is always a tonic and I got through the day remarkably well, despite feeling lightheaded and rather unsteady at times. I have reduced the dose of Propranolol I am taking, from 40mg to 10mg, hoping to gradually increase the level administered over the next few weeks. I really am not enjoying the ghastly aftermath these tablets are causing, but am sure it will change in time.

Interestingly another volunteer was able to reassure me about beta blockers, explaining his difficulties using them himself, allowing me to breath a sigh of relief somewhat, understanding more about just how this medication works. For a time this morning I was concerned my heart was beating far too slowly, but believe this is all part of the initial stages of 'bedding in,' as my body gets used to its new regime. The advice I was given today has lifted my mood and allowed me to look forward positively, trying to focus on the bigger picture, rather than panicking about the side effects.

Being around the team at Cancer Research was a joy this Monday, lifting ones spirits at an onerous time; enjoying the company of friends, dressing up and in lighthearted mood, I was able to put my problems on the back burner. Laughter is the biggest medicine of all, better than all the beta blockers in the World, so it's the most important time of the week for me, a time that I will always cherish fondly, making money for good causes, memories for today and affording meaning where there was none; there's no better pay packet than that!

I would like to wish two fantastic friends, Katie and Andy Stewardson, huge congratulations on the birth of their new baby son Sebastián, born on 28th August 2019. It has been a while since I saw these two, but they are both very much in my thoughts as I write this entry today!

Katie, husband Andy and their little daughter Lexi, became close, during mine and Darrell's time living in Gran Alacant, especially Katie and I. Both our husbands were away quite a lot during the time I lived here, consequently Katie and I became inseparable and enjoyed a fruitful friendship, despite the ups and downs of Spanish life.

Andy and Katie have found happiness and prosperity in Spain and now enjoy a productive and vigorous life, living in the country they love. Sebastián will be brought up alongside his Spanish peers and will become part of continental life, in a way many of us can only dream of. I hope to return to Spain one day soon and rekindle our friendship by starting where we left off. Whether or not Darrell and I decide to live there long term, as we did three years ago is anyone's guess, but in the meantime we are delighted to observe from the sidelines, watching this family grow and flourish in their new chosen home!

As Brexit turmoil continues to engulf British sensibility, it is heartwarming to see young people taking the plunge and forging a new life abroad. Whether you support Britain's withdrawal from the EU or want to remain, all of us should agree that our destiny lies at the heart of Europe. It would be a travesty if future generations were stopped from moving to pastures new because of policies that are designed to isolate Britain from the rest of the World. Katie and Andy are an example to us all, in how we can proliferate in new, untested, untried corners of the globe!

Congratulations to you all!

The August Bank Holiday Monday was hot and I was spending the day at The Queens Hotel in Southsea, at a garden party in the sun! The tribute act 'Forever Queen' were playing to a packed audience in this plush Portsmouth hotel.

I arrived with some friends from work and spent an enjoyable time, relaxing after another busy week. There were many people at this holiday event and it was fantastic to just let ones hair down for a few hours, drinking, dancing and chatting with those who play a significant role in my life.

What could be better, after sitting in the hot sun for the afternoon, but a civilized meal with more colleagues and friends at the John Jacques in Fratton. For me, a few pints of orange juice and lemonade and a rather diet busting, calorific all day brunch, followed by cake and ice cream; comfort food, to end the perfect day!

Keeping fit and trying to lose weight, has always been an activity, I have had difficulty with. I have spent my whole life dieting in one way or another, so it is natural I have reached another crossroads in my life, where I need to do something to get healthy once again. To be honest, I did consider another strict calorie controlled diet, but soon realised it wouldn't work. Why wont it work? Well I have tried that approach many times before and I have always failed somewhere down the line, usually just a few days into it!

This time I wanted to do something different and really start to eat healthier, without restricting myself too much. As an all or nothing person, I have never chosen the middle ground; extremes are my forte. During the times when I did rigorously eat an uncompromising diet, it felt like a prison sentence and I soon got fed up with the austere nature of what I was doing. All I did was crave the things I liked and eat the things I didn't. This was a sure fire way to fail and it wasn't long before I got fed up with the whole palaver and just continued down a self destructive path of binge eating, even in secret.

So today I am cutting down, choosing healthier alternatives and most importantly reducing the size of the meals I eat. On top of this sensible eating plan, I have also decided to reduce the carbohydrates in my diet dramatically, but not altogether. If I stop eating carbs completely, I will crave them all the more and surely fail at the first hurdle. Buying food that is lower in carbohydrates is a good start for me; low carb bread as well as fresh fruit and vegetables and more salads should help me lose weight. Yesterday I also made some Cauliflower Rice, by blending the vegetable up into grain size pieces and quickly frying it in olive oil; served with Chili, it tasted delicious. It worked surprisingly well, despite my initial apprehension and didn't taste of cauliflower at all.

So it's back to healthy eating for me, not a bad thing when one considers the amount of walking I do a day and the cigarettes I no longer smoke. It is about time I took charge of my own destiny, and as I drift towards my fiftieth year, I am fully aware of what I need to do in order to live a longer, healthier life. My body no longer feels and acts like the twenty year old, who used to drink, smoke  and party hard; today it is in need of an MOT and an overhaul, accepting what it can and can't do. Realising ones age and changing ones lifestyle is an important part of maintaining the perfect balance between body and mind. My mind is as healthy as it has ever been, my body, well, just needs work...Could do better as they say. Hopefully this time, I will succeed where I have failed in the past!

Today I made a visit to see Mother and Father, at their home in Catisfield. It has been a while since I saw my parents; work commitments and a busy lifestyle has prevented me from seeing them as much as I would like. However, with some spare time on my hands, no weekly Doctors appointment and a break in the bad weather, I made the short journey to see them both.

Mum was in fine fettle, looking far better than she did the last time I saw her. Mother is doing so well, she no longer needs to see the District Nurse on a regular basis and has been discharged from her care. Of course it is difficult accepting that Mum will be confined to bed permanently, but in truth, she is far better off for it. Before, she was confined to a wheelchair, walking maybe a short distance on her prosthetic legs when she was able. After a third amputation, she has found it impossible to continue walking at any level, so remains bed bound, but seemingly in better spirits. Mum at least has the luxury of sleeping in a bed now, where as before, she slept upright in her wheelchair, in itself a life limiting existence.

Mum and Dad have a lovely home, with extensive gardens, something Mum is able to see through her bedroom and into the sun room beyond. When one is confined to a bed, it is important to have access to the outside World, even if it is through glass, and Mum does have fabulous views, peaceful, with a large tree lined park beyond. As readers to this blog are aware, my Mother and Father had proposed moving to a luxury gated community in their dotage, but have recently pulled out of their commitment, deciding to stay in their family home. I am pleased they have made this decision and am glad they will be remaining in the place they know best. Living in a luxury apartment would not have been ideal for Mum, looking at four walls, in eye shot of a car park. At home they have access to far more than they realised and will hopefully make the best of what future lies ahead!

All of us had a chat about politics as we always do and also discussed the future. My father has been told he will probably have to have an operation in a few years to replace his hip due to arthritis. As Mothers chief carer, this will of course impact on both their lives. Dad wouldn't be able to care for Mum during his rehabilitation, so as a couple they will have to finance a care package for them both, not a cheap undertaking. It is likely Dad will be out of action for up to six months, so the cost of care will run into the thousands of pound. They wouldn't get any state help, so would have to pay the nursing costs involved, or other family members would have to take over, something I would of course do under the circumstances.

As you and I get older, we will also have to make similar choices; none of us are invincible. My parents have worked hard all their lives and it is a disgrace they should have to pay for care, that they assumed would be paid for by the state; after all they have paid into the system all their lives. Social care is the one aspect of health provision in this country that has been neglected for far too long and someone needs to get to grips with it. Why should hard working people lose their assets, because a greedy care provider charges two thousand pounds a week, for looking after someone? It really doesn't seem fair, but this is Britain in 2019!

In time we will have to sit down as a family and decide what we should do in the future, when my parents care needs change, but until then, it is good to see Mum robust and well, fighting fit and realistic about what lies ahead. I am home in the UK to be there for both my parents, as Darrell is in Australia to be with his Mum. These are testing times for all of us, but at least we are doing the right thing and being there for those who brought us into the World; without them, we wouldn't be the people we are. Rich or poor, ill or well, we are family first and foremost and families are there for one another!