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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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My Christmas Wish - Debbie Brown!

30/11/2020

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This Christmas is definitely going to be difficult and different; people who have lost loved ones, people who haven't seen loved ones for months. I wish this Christmas, people will learn to be kinder and realise what Christmas is really about. It's not about the best present you can buy someone, it's about how you love and respect them all year through. Merry Christmas to you all and remember be kind to one another xxxxx
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New Tiers and Birthday Cheers!

26/11/2020

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The Government has just announced what tiers regions will go into when the national lockdown ends on December 2nd. There was no surprise to hear that Portsmouth is going into Tier 2. This is a blow for The Newcome Arms, the local pub where I work, which will have to remain closed, probably until the spring; I'm sure all of us who work there are gutted and hope things will change soon. However, Portsmouth became an example of how not to act, in the final weeks before the lockdown, as people congregated in large groups, ignoring rules and only thought of themselves. As a city we had done so well to keep the virus levels low; a combination of frustration and fatigue has quite simply pushed us into tier two, for however long that remains!

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Britain has been living under some level of restriction for quite sometime now and if I am honest, moving into tier 2 will have very little impact on my life. It does nevertheless send a signal that COVID-19 has a long way to run, before we are all out of the woods.

I have never stopped taking precautions, trying to keep safe and protect myself, but there are elements who really just don't care about others. These are the ones who have caused the problems for the rest of society, and they know exactly who they are. I see them every day, not wearing masks, unable to socially distance and disrespecting those of us who have played by the rules and done what we are told. Personally I am sick and tired of their conspiracy theories, constant whinging and lack of empathy for those who are ill or worse, dying in hospitals up and down the Country, because of people like them.

Unlike the rest of Europe in particular, our Coronavirus restrictions have not been taken seriously by the local population and police and local authorities have had little or no powers to enforce the measures in place. I saw so many people blatantly ignoring the law, yet there was very little any of us could do. Most of us just had to sit back and take the challenging behaviour and that was a terrible indictment on Britain as a nation. If we had all pulled together and worked as one, we could be back to relative normality by now, but we just couldn't. Maybe it is part of the psyche of British people or just a uniquely British trait, but we do have a problem with following the rules and that is particularly concerning at times of real national emergency, like today. All of us are to blame for where we are!

Happy 48th Birthday Darrell!

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Darrell observed yet another milestone in Australia, celebrating his 48th Birthday. Again we are separated by circumstances, thousands of miles between us and a World in turmoil. As usual Darrell and I had our weekly chat about family, friends and the dreaded Coronavirus. Our lives really do seem so different at the moment, so much so I forgot to wish him a Happy Birthday, something I have never done. I don't mind telling all of you how guilty I felt and have tried to phone him since.

It is a sad fact that with our lives firmly rooted in different parts of the World, the milestones that make up our life together take a back seat. This isn't through recrimination or disinterest but pure and simply because of forgetfulness. When you don't live with someone any more, you do tend to forget the important things and that upsets me a lot.

Darrell and I always celebrated our Birthdays to the maximum. Year-on-year we would throw lavish fancy dress parties, inviting those closest to enjoy our respective days, but since our life was turned upside down in 2015, we have lost that part of who we are. The outgoing extrovert that hosted parties, was the life and soul, and never forgot an anniversary, has become old, forgetful and apathetic, and I am resentful of that fact. I detest old age and who I have become and long to travel back in time to better days, once again enjoying my life, with some truly wonderful characters.

Of course, I could witter on about me, feeling sorry for myself and bitter towards the World, but that isn't what this entry is about, it is about Darrell and his 48 years. I would like to be celebrating with him, but it just isn't possible. However, I can at least remember the' jamborees of Birthdays past' and the great times we enjoyed. Every year I would put up the Christmas Tree in time for Darrell's Birthday and fill the house with light, laughter and music. Dressing colourfully, we would party to the early hours; a tradition we continued until we left for Spain. A fridge full of beer and fully stocked cocktail cabinet, a table groaning with food and irate neighbours next door. Happy occasions that seem but a distant memory today, sat alone at home in the middle of a pandemic.

Next year will hopefully be different, the pandemic will be but a distant memory, we will have all been vaccinated and everything will be back to normal, but until then life will be very different. Talking to Darrell today, I was conscious of the memories we were no longer making together, it was a wake-up call, to fight even harder for our right to exist together as a couple, something we are well-used to having to do. Nothing is easy in this World, certainly not for us, so we just have to keep on battling, until the good times roll again!

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My Christmas Wish - Linda Mia!

23/11/2020

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In these worrying and uncertain times, the thoughts that sustain me are what I call the 'constants'. The things that never change. The fact that the world keeps on turning, the sun rises, the sun sets, the tides ebb and flow, the sun warms us, the rains water the earth. The mountains don't move and the deep oceans are home to the most wondrous things.... marine life, coral reefs, just think of those adorable dolphins!

A rainbow appears to give us hope and joy. Babies smile and learn to walk and talk, children laugh and play, and a mother's love only rarely fails. Fathers around the world, protect their families and provide for them by working hard...in jobs they don't always enjoy. People show courage in adversity, think of others, support their loved ones, show friendship and help their neighbours.

We have things in life that are beautiful and FREE.... the sea, the stars, the moon, a cooling breeze, red and golden autumn leaves, delicate white snowdrops, mighty oaks, deep gorges, green hills, the highest mountains, waterfalls rivers, streams....the list is endless if we look up and above our circumstances to the beauty of creation. "He gives us richly all things to enjoy". "He flung the stars into space". Count each and every blessing that you have, sometimes the smallest blessing is the sweetest. Smile often, laugh a lot, encourage one another, what you do for others will be repaid twice over...even a kind gesture.

We are given the gift of tears to express (and relieve) our sorrows, a heart to feel emotion for we are made of flesh and blood, with a soul that gives us our humanity. We will have trials and tribulations in this world but, take heart and be of good cheer, for the God of love is with you and has overcome the earthly things. The 'constants' remain throughout all eternity, think often of them, hold on to them, say thank you for them, because they will sustain you too and bring you joy.

If you think you have nothing to give - well, that's not true, because you can give away a smile, a cheery greeting, a friendly wave, and the gift of encouragement, which is precious. As we look towards 2021, hold on to hope, because these uncertain times will surely pass.
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Surviving Alone!

23/11/2020

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As 2020 draws to a close, I have been thinking about the difficulties all of us have faced this year. Like most people I have had my own set of unique challenges to overcome, with differing degrees of success. I have definitely worried and stressed far more than usual and I have felt more alone than I ever have, probably since I was a child. Nevertheless, I am one of those lucky people who actually enjoys my own company and doesn’t have a problem spending time alone. This brings me to my blog entry today - ‘Surviving alone’

Lots of people I know have really suffered throughout this pandemic, finding daily life hard. With little or no work, all of us have had a lot of extra time on our hands and many of us have found the lack of stimulation hard to deal with. Most have had families to take care of, children to home school and gardens and homes to tend, as well as the normal daily activities of shopping, trying to keep fit and cooking for each other. For me, life has become tougher because I am not with the person I love. You would think I would be used to this by now, but the reality is, it just doesn’t get any easier to deal with.

I have just got off the phone to Darrell this morning, and we had a rather heated discussion. I suppose I was feeling rather alone and sensitive today, so sternly reminded him that we were ‘still married.’ Up until now, our conversations were upbeat and in truth we never discussed controversial subjects. I made a conscious effort to avoid issues that would make Darrell lose his temper. He has never been confrontational and has always blocked out subjects that caused him anxiety; to an extent I can see why, but it has been a year since we last saw one another and I felt we needed to discuss the seriousness of our situation.

I do feel like I am drifting at the moment, just existing, waiting for something positive to happen which never does. It appears that Darrell and I are on very different paths, pushing further and further apart, singing from incompatible hymn sheets and that is unnerving. We are very different people, with contrasting ideas, but we have always found common ground in our love for one another and desire to work through our many differences. With him living thousands of miles away, we have lost the ‘rationale’ that bound us tightly together and that makes me even more anxious.

Since 2016 our lives have been forking towards unconnected goals in distinctly dissonant countries. Two months after moving to Spain, looking forward to a new adventure, Darrell's Mother was diagnosed with Cancer, and we spent the next few years living apart. Darrell travelled between his Mums home in Western Australia and our home in Spain, time after time. I survived because of the support of friends from the Expat community, who became a major lifeline during this challenging period. They were there for a shoulder to cry on, to have a glass of wine on the terrace with and to offer advice when needed. These people became the family I didn’t have and lifted me up during some very dark days. Living apart from someone after twenty years, because of circumstances beyond your control is hard. Just when you think you have turned a corner, another obstacle is thrown in your path and once again you have to try and manoeuvre your way around it. Life becomes demanding, days seem longer and thoughts turn negative.

Despite our situation, we always knew we would be together again, even if we spent seven months apart. Planning for the future and discussing life after illness was a catalyst for positivity. On the days when I felt down, I was always able to force myself out of the doldrums, by focussing on the positive aspects of our relationship, that would surely follow. The old saying that love conquers all, was a statement I have never used so often during that period, always clinging on to hope in a World falling apart around me. This was a time I wrote, more than I ever have done and analysed my every mood, desire and fear; writing allowed me to express myself in a way I couldn’t otherwise. These were years that taught me much about myself and surviving with little or no money; this was a period of change and character building, making me the person I am today – frugal, astute, wiser and mature, all traits I had lacked before.

The new life we had worked so hard to achieve in Spain, applying for residencia and becoming a Spanish resident, had all turned to dust. On the day I left Spain for the last time, I was glad to be on my way, not because I disliked Spain, but because of the circumstances that surrounded my departure. If you ask anyone I knew at the time, they will testify as to my desire to integrate into Spanish life and really make a fresh start; the day I flew home, reinforced my failure for a dream that never materialised.

Today, nearly five years after we left for Spain, I am still living through the turmoil and upheaval that illness has wrought on our relationship. Four years on, Darrell's Mother is still battling cancer, and he is still in Australia, only this time, unable to return to the UK when he wants; this is a scenario that is beginning to impact my psyche and I have got to a point where I want my husband home, despite knowing that will not happen anytime soon.

It sounds selfish doesn’t it, wanting Darrell to return home because you miss them, yet in reality their place is with their Mother, who is suffering from Cancer. I can only say that as we move into 2021, I feel my life has been put on hold for long enough and I need to get back the sense of purpose I lost a lifetime ago.

I don’t think Darrell was particularly happy with certain aspects of my argument. We both find ourselves in a very precarious situation and arguing about events that now engulf our life is not the necessarily helpful today. After all neither of us can change what is happening in the World, despite negatively impacting on our own personal positions, which remain uncompromising. However, we still have to discuss matters that continue to shape our direction and I make no apologies for doing so.

As a couple, we will survive this period, because ultimately we have the same goal in life, to be together, happy and content, living the life, we both still dream about. The journey getting there is likely to remain bumpy for now, there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight for the uneasiness we are living through and I foresee a rocky future in the medium term. Until we get the answers we need from officials, we will have to continue fighting in the dark. The Home Office remain quiet, unable or unwilling to give us answers; solicitors are still very much oblivious as to what cause of action is best and borders remain closed. As the COVID vaccines begin to roll off the production line and the World begins to open up, we are planning a May reunion together, unless once again circumstances dictate otherwise, only time will tell!

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Surviving The Storm!

21/11/2020

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It's been a busy week, I literally haven't stopped working; despite being furloughed from The Newcome, I now find I have far more to do than usual. Working in a supermarket, I am fully aware of just how vivacious it is becoming. We are of course one of the few retail outlets allowed to open, so there is an abnormally high number of customers passing through the doors on a daily basis. That in itself presents its own unique challenges, as all of us try and protect ourselves as best we can. It is a sign of the times, when masks are issued as part of a work uniform and social distancing becomes a part of all our lives. I am a fanatical sanitizer, trying my best to keep my hands cleansed after each and every customer I serve. Mask wearing has also become pretty much standard and keeping one on for the duration of a nine-hour shift, has become easier to bear. If it wasn't for my glasses steaming up, I would be quite happy with the arrangement.

During those rare moments, I do actually get some free time, I have been watching the latest series of 'The Crown,' a drama I have been enjoying on Netflix, chronicling the Queen, her family and the Monarchy, during the course of her reign. The latest chapter documents the late 1970s early 80s, including the rise and fall of Margaret Thatcher; a period I remember well and an unforgettable crossroads in my life. Its delineation of characters, still vivid after so long, seemed to be pretty accurate, based on my own recollections of the period. I was transported back in time to a decade I remember with fondness and trepidation in equal measure.

Escaping from the pandemic has been important. You can quite easily become overwhelmed and consumed with the daily news briefings, soaring death rates and the depressive nature of illness. As someone who suffers from health anxiety it is particularly difficult to block out the seriousness of the situation we are all living through, but I am nevertheless trying to do my best. Unlike the rest of the population, I am still seeing my Doctor, attending surgery and outpatient departments and doing what I can to keep my health in check. As I sat in hospital on Monday, I thought to myself how easy it is to see a consultant these days. I am in and out of an appointment within half an hour, instead of waiting around all day for minor procedures that are now easier to book than they were before.

It is scary to think, that people are avoiding seeing their clinician. Many are too worried to enter a hospital, avoid leaving home or do not want to burden the health service, but it is important all of us do, especially men, who traditionally find it difficult to see a GP in the first place. During this second wave, it has been straightforward gaining access to services and consultations and my levels of anxiety are far lower than they were during the first. I have several more sessions booked and am finally looking forward to getting to the bottom of the numerous ailments and conditions that dominate my life.

I am doing my utmost to carry on as normal, after all I work in a large store and certainly can't hide from the World and pandemic swirling around me. Coming to terms with my own fears was a natural first step in accepting my lot in life at the moment. I do have so much apprehension, unease and concerns about COVID, but I can't let it consume my every waking hour; as long as I keep working hard, do what I can to meditate and relax, keep healthy, and stay ahead of the curve, I hope to survive in relatively good health until vaccination day, probably in the spring of 2021. With the number of infections starting to level off and deaths showing signs of slowing, I hope it won't be too long before life returns to normal. I look forward to a time when the masks come off, the sanitizer is put away, smiling and happiness returns, and all of us embrace one another, fondly,  once again!
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My Christmas Wish - Angela Day!

21/11/2020

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My Christmas wish is to have hope. We need faith; the world is constantly changing just like our lives, our rainbow will come when the sunlight breaks through rain clouds.
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My Christmas Wish - Carrie-Anne Reeds

16/11/2020

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My main wish would be for my family to be happy, safe and healthy, and on a bigger scale, for the world to be more kind, less judgemental place to live in. We all need to be thankful more than ever, of what brings joy to our lives and to live it to the fullest, as best we can. Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not promised, we only have the present.
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Operation

16/11/2020

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Today I had to attend an appointment at Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth, in relation to several upper gastric issues I have been experiencing, over the last year or so. I have been waiting for this appointment for quite a while, long before the pandemic struck. Although apprehensive about going to the Hospital, I wore a suitable mask and socially distanced as much as I could, turning up just before my consultation time, waiting in an almost empty room for my name to be called. Unlike other experiences of standing in queues at hospitals and GP surgeries, this was relatively painless and went without a hitch.

I was called into room 2 of the Surgical Outpatients Unit within ten minutes, and spoke to a Doctor Walters, who explained she wanted to discuss the possibility of having a gallbladder removal operation. After asking me about my ongoing abdominal symptoms, she gave me a thorough examination, looking at my stomach and commenting on the 'fine appendectomy scar' I had and how wonderful to see such a 'classic example,' explaining they aren't 'like they used to be.' Suitably impressed, she agreed the operation could be carried out, which should relieve much of the pain I have been experiencing.

The heart attack symptoms, that encouraged me to phone an ambulance in May of this year, were caused by the gall bladder, expelling a gallstone through a connecting tube and into the bile duct. This is an occurrence that could happen again and could  cause symptoms of jaundice, sparking a medical emergency. It was important to remove the bladder as soon as possible, to avoid complications. Just removing the stones would not be possible, as they would just grow back within a matter of months. Clarifying it was perfectly possible to lead a normal life without a gallbladder, it seemed more than appropriate to agree to an operation.

Of course, we are in the middle of a pandemic and it could take a while before this operation is carried out. Dr Walters explained that waiting times are a minimum of six months and even then it is dependent on the course the pandemic takes. She told me if things get back to normal relatively quickly, then it could happen earlier. She would also contact me if an appointment becomes available through cancellation and would endeavour to 'get things done,' as quick as possible. This was a great relief to hear; after suffering pain for quite some time now, I can only hope this is the beginning of the end of the constant discomfort.

To all of you, who are scared about attending Hospital right now, I can only say, it is important you do so. Every precaution was taken to ensure all of us who were there were kept as safe as we possibly could be and seen as quickly as possible. Unlike pre COVID days, there was no waiting around for hours, there was an expeditious flow of patients, seen without fuss and agitation. This is the way the National Health Service should work, pandemic or not and is a lesson for the future.

Thankfully I am now on a waiting list, even if it is for six months and hopefully by next summer I will be very much back to my old self. Until then, I hope there is no return of the worst features of this condition and my life can carry on without the need for another trip to A&E!

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The End of an Era!

14/11/2020

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To be honest, I've not had the best of weeks; these past seven days, the weather has been particularly awful and I've just felt like hibernating. I am an Anglophile through and through and love most things British, but the winter just gets me down. The cold and damp has always played havoc with my joints and I really have been experiencing a lot of rheumatic pain, something I avoided when living in Spain. If there was ever a reason to return to Iberia, this is the main one; if it wasn't for the pandemic, I would be on a plane right now, heading for the sun.

I have been trying to catch up on some reading, a pleasure I just haven't had time for until recently. With a busy life, I just don't seem to be able to sit down and escape into a good book; lockdown II has changed all that. About three months ago I started to read 'Too Much and Never Enough' by Mary Trump. This book is written by Donald Trump's Niece and exposes the President for the narcissistic person he really is; it is an insight into the 'real' man who reached the highest office in The United States. This was the book that really began to open my eyes up, to what Donald Trump is really all about and it is a fascinating read.

In the middle of the week we finally discovered who won the United States election; it was a relief to discover that Joe Biden would be the next President and the World would finally see the back of Donald Trump. The last four years have been traumatic, a disaster for the World; one man has single-handedly destroyed the reputation of a country and personally overseen the deaths of a quarter of a million Americans, in the midst of the biggest crisis to envelope the World in a hundred years.


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Both Darrell and I have witnessed the like of Donald Trump before. Working for Oxfam taught us a great many lessons, about the terrible nature of sociopathic and narcissistic personalities. Both of us suffered for years at the hands of people, who only thought about themselves and couldn't care less whether we lived or died. I have written a lot about this subject and even gave evidence to the Oxfam inquiry, against people who had no place in normal society. I had my day, I was finally given a voice and I learnt to never  trust anyone again.

The Trump Presidency has highlighted some truly terrible injustices and has given rise to bigotry, discrimination and legitimised racism and intolerance. I have felt a deep sense of sadness and upset at what civilisation has become; the rise of nationalistic hate and the lies' perpetuated by a man who was unfit to govern. Today I am living in a World I don't recognise and a period in time that has shamed us all. Those who have turned a blind eye to what has transpired, are responsible for the hate, acrimony and contempt, directed towards anyone who is different, to what others perceive as normal. This has not been a great time to be alive; I have wished to return to the old normal so many times; I miss my previous life, my husband and the dreams I had.

The election of a new President should begin  a process of healing, not only for Americans, but for the rest of the World. It is true to say that the Trump era has caused me no end of stress, just because of who he is and what he stands for. I have always been an anxious person, but turning on a television set and watching a man, so animated with rage and anger, provoking the rest of us into reacting negatively, has been a tremendously debilitating and exhausting time; it has caused great damage to the psyche of any balanced, rational and sensible, level-headed person. Like most of us, I need a rest from all this disarray and time to recover from this lamentable chapter in history.

I would like to congratulate the new President of the United States and wish him well in his new brief. Bringing America, indeed the rest of the planet back together again, after four years of hell isn't going to be easy. He has a Herculean task ahead of him, helping to pick up the pieces of a broken planet. The end of Presidents Trump's Presidency should be the beginning of hope and renewal; empowering a nation, where everyone feels included should be the first steps, at the start of a COVID free World. I am confident, that in time, all of us will conquer our demons, regain the empathy we lost and finally lay the 45th President of the United States to rest!

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My Christmas Wish - Linda Nicholls!

12/11/2020

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This Christmas I'd love my family to be together but it can’t happen. So instead we’re going to fill our bungalow with Christmas decorations, ornaments and a Christmas tree, and just make it the best Christmas we can; making sure we have plenty of food and drinks. For 2021 I want this dreadful virus to be gone and everyone to be happy and healthy xx
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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