There are some things that just need to be said. No matter how much I miss The UK at times, I am certainly thankful to be away from the destructive behaviours that cause harm to others. Britain excels at destroying people, and I should know, I've been there myself. Treat people fairly, look out for their well-being and above all, be kind!

It has been a busy week for me, and I am feeling particularly tired. I am currently working a lot of hours and rarely have time to myself. Saving for lots of different things, especially during this cost of living crisis, is proving more challenging than I expected, even with me being in an enviable position. Like all of you, I am feeling the pinch, with my living costs going up daily, and there doesn't seem to be any end in sight. I was using my time here in the UK productively, saving hard for the future but at present the targets I set for myself seem to be slipping away, as I try and keep my head above water. This is not a great period to be alive and like everyone, I am fearful for the future. 

Just yesterday I checked the value of my pensions, as I do from time to time, and was shocked at the collapse in  their value. In a little over four months, my main pension has fallen 20% and all the gains made over the last three years have been lost; now that is scary, especially when I want to retire in four years time. I understand pensions and investments do fluctuate, it's just part of the course, but the figures I am seeing just indicate a continual decline, unlike anything I have ever seen before.

Equally, the various share holdings I own have also dramatically declined and fallen even further than my pensions. With most of my cash tied up in a high interest savings account, I am fortunate not to have invested too big a portion of my money into higher risk financial products. However, the state of the World economy is still a worrying concern for my future, and I am keeping a close eye on all my investments. We are being hammered from all sides; higher taxes and bills, as well as rising inflation that is dangerously out of control. 

My current thinking is to continue putting as much money away as I can, especially with such a bleak outlook moving forwards; that isn't really going to change. My desire to buy a property is of course my overriding ambition, but after taking advice, I am aware that this isn't the right time to do so. As the crisis gets worse, it looks likely, that house prices will crash in the very near future and I want to be able to pick up a bargain when the time is right. Whether we buy here or abroad, I just have no idea, but by the time I reach my 55th Birthday I hope to finally have a home of my own. 

It is important for me to have goals, which I work towards daily. It gives me focus at especially difficult times. As a person, I have always been terrible with money, so this is the first time I've actually made a positive impact on my finances. I am mindful, nevertheless, of the challenging months ahead, and I am extremely concerned at the possible implications of a continued collapse in financial markets. This is the time I should be building for the future, instead I am battling to stay afloat. Darrell and I are far luckier than most, not having to pay bills, but we do have a lot of outgoings to contend with, and they are just getting more and more burdensome daily. Like everyone else, though, there is very little I can do about it.

The last four years have had their high and low points; the lack of personal space does take its toll, especially recently. Spending the majority of my time at work or held up in a single room doesn't do wonders for my mental health, but I am aware that the sacrifices I am making now should pay dividends in the future. On the plus side, my financial astuteness has increased beyond measure. I have saved more money than I ever have done in my life, and my current circumstances have allowed me to build the foundations for success in the future.

Both Darrell and I are also fortunate to have chosen our friends, far more wisely, than we have done in the past. We no longer have the hangers on, the people who just take, borrow and never pay back and more importantly, we no longer suffer fools gladly. I have a very small group of close friends and never trust anyone I don't know well enough. Yesterday, I went out with a small group of work colleagues, and we had a fabulous night; a rare occasion when Darrell and I spent time with others outside our family circle.

My finances have always taken a severe battering because of other people, which is why we have to be so careful these days. No longer easily influenced or afraid to say no, I am happy to have decent people back in my life. I was such a bad judge of character in the past, that I could never see the impending disaster waiting in the wings. The more I desired the company of others, the more money I spent, and all I am left with today is a bag full of regret and some pretty terrible memories to boot. These people are firmly in the past, but their destructive influence still lingers. I do suffer with anxiety and from time to time I do become particularly inward, self reflective and depressed; Something I am aware could be rearing its ugly head once again today.

It appears it's time to batten down the hatches, just like we did during the pandemic. Working extra hard is necessary right now, since none of us really knows what will happen next. There has been so much thrown at us in recent times, that we just have to do our best to survive each oncoming storm. I know, after attending Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in the past, that it is important to deal with each event or trigger as it happens, breaking down difficulties into smaller packages. Rather than panicking over the bigger picture, I am accepting the inevitable and dealing with each element separately, which I hope will see me through.

Each of us have a difficult road to tread at the moment, and I am no different to you. All I can do is help others when I can, donate to foodbanks, make sure I listen to friends who need help, give them a shoulder to cry on and a voice of reason. Yes, we are all suffering, but we must remember those who are worse off than us. Reach out, be available and above all keep fighting, even when the battle seems lost!

I've blogged very little about the Ukraine war in recent days, preferring to concentrate on more positive aspects of my own life. Despite this,  my emotions have been tested over the last week especially, as more and more atrocities are uncovered in Ukraine. Russian forces have been leaving most parts of the country, in order to concentrate on taking over the south, in particular, the Donbass province. The destruction left behind in Northern Ukraine has been harrowing to see, as news coverage details the carnage unleashed on the region. The brutality of Russian forces is as clear as day, for the whole World to see. Russia has gone rogue and no one is sure just how this disaster will end.

As a rule, I am a pacifist, always preferring a negotiated settlement over war. The conflict in Ukraine, however, has made me reevaluate everything I believe in. The stories of innocent victims butchered in their own homes, young girls raped in front of their families and elderly, vulnerable people sheltering in dark basements have shaken me to the core. This war may well be Putin's, but those fighting it in his name, are no better than him. The soldiers are evil in every sense of the word, and I still can't believe the vast majority of the Russian public are supporting this needless charade. If the World does finally return to normal, the citizens of Russia will have to understand the part they played in this genocide and live with the murder of innocents on their hands forever.

Sadly, I have had a few encounters with others, who have criticised my support for Ukraine. Now, you really don't have to be an expert to understand where the aggression is coming from. Ukraine didn't ask for this war, until a couple of months ago, this peaceful nation was carrying on as normal, a modern democracy in the heart of Europe. Today it is on the verge of collapse, bombarded daily, shattered lives littering its war torn streets.

I constantly read about the ongoing war, keeping myself updated on events in Eastern Europe. Nevertheless, I have turned off the news on my television, only watching it when I need to, usually just once a day. For all the horrors unfolding, there is only so much I can take psychologically. As a human being I feel deeply disturbed by what is happening in Europe and my own mental health also remains a concern. I have always been an empathetic individual, feeling other's pain far more than my own, so this tragic war has just highlighted the darkness that overwhelms my thoughts on a daily basis. As cruel as it seems, as guilty as I feel, I just need to switch off from time to time.

I suppose I find it very difficult to comprehend how a whole nation of individuals can turn away from their friends and neighbours in Ukraine and believe the propaganda touted by Russian state media. I am speaking as someone living in a democratic country with a free press, so my understanding of totalitarian regimes is rather limited. In the digital age we live in, one would expect everyone, even in a fascist state like Russia, to have access to balanced, unbiased news, but of course that may not be the case for the majority of the population. People can't or do not want to believe the wickedness committed in their name is wrong. They truly think they are fighting against Nazis, when actually the opposite is true. Russia is the aggressor, the Nazis are Russian and the aggression is coming from one man, President Vladimir Putin.

I have always had a strong belief in the power of people and their ability to overcome any struggle, no matter how bad things get. Even in the most terrible of times, where it is difficult to see past the catastrophe unfolding, the strength, and character of humanity to overcome adversity is heartening. I do have enormous faith in the Russian public, to finally stand up against Putin and the murderers that surround him. With help and support, they can and will topple this dictator, like every other despot before him. It is of course right and just to criticise Russia as a whole for what is unfolding in Ukraine, all of them must take responsibility for what is transpiring. It is also necessary to enlighten and encourage all Russians to rise up and fight against a dictator whose time is up.

I remain hopeful that this war in Ukraine will signal the end of President Putin. It will not happen anytime soon, as the war rages on. The fate of the World remains with Russians and their extraordinary abilities to channel their defensive spirit, in ridding themselves of one of the worst tyrants in modern times. Stand with your Ukrainian Brothers, don't accept what you are told as true; believe in the power of humanity, against oppression, persecution, and the lies of the few!

Whatever television station you watch or newspaper you read, you can't fail to avoid the emerging 'cost of living crisis' unfolding before our very eyes. I can't remember a time when I have been so aware of rising prices, soaring inflation and dramatic hikes in the cost of utility bills. Using the word 'crisis' has been criticised for its dramatic, frightening cogitations, but when one looks at the economic uncertainty across the globe, it is clear this is appropriate for the times we are living though. These are momentous months for many reasons, not just the cost of living, but when looks at the different factors at play in this 'new World order,' it is clear there has been a significant shift, creating the most unstable economic conditions for over forty years or more. These are difficult days for everyone, and we need to understand just how serious this situation is. This isn't something that can be solved quickly, all of us will have to battle to keep our heads above water.

The seeds of this current crisis were sown in 2016, after Britain voted to leave the European Union. No one really expected the UK to remain the economic power house it was after we voted to leave, and if they did, they were seriously deluded. I was someone who envisaged a time of upheaval and hardship, but like most people, I believed it would be a temporary blip, and we would overcome the problems relatively quickly. Brits are a hardy bunch, and we have lived through worse periods in history. With fortitude, faith, and backbone, it wouldn't be too long before we were back on track again.

At the time of the vote, I was living in Spain with Darrell. We lived a relatively frugal existence; with my husband flying back to Australia regularly, I learnt to live on a small budget of 30 Euro a week. Life was hard, but the sun was shining and life was good. I loved my new Spanish home and believed I would remain an expat for many years to come.

Of course nothing lasts forever and in 2018 I moved back to the UK for family reasons, as Darrell continued to commute From Europe to Australia, caring for his Mother after her cancer diagnosis. These were arduous years for us, as we tried to restructure our  life to suit our changing circumstances. Darrell would fly to Britain when he could, and I would travel to Asia once a year; it was an arrangement that worked well until the pandemic crashed head long into all our lives in 2020.

The biggest factor in the current 'cost of living crisis is of course COVID-19. The money spent by Governments all over the World propping up ailing economies throughout the worst of this virus was huge, unlike anything any of us had ever seen. Locking down a country isn't a cheap option. The British Government alone spent hundreds of billions of pounds paying staff to stay at home, as businesses remained closed for months on end. Even I was paid a wage, even though the pub where I worked was closed. At the time it was great, but all that money has to eventually be paid back.

The pandemic still rages on, although as a nation, Britain is learning to live with it. It is unlikely we will ever be locked down again, but we will be living with the consequences of COVID for many years to come. The vast sums spent keeping families afloat, while they languished at home is shocking to contemplate, but the hangover from this strange period is only just beginning today, two years later. After Brexit, no one expected a public health crisis, and the British economy has suffered untold amounts of damage. Through mismanagement, waste of public money and falling tax receipts, it was only a matter of time before we started to feel the pinch; from 1 April that process of 'paying back' began.

They say bad things come in threes, well there is yet another catastrophe looming on the horizon, with war in Europe looking ever more likely! After Brexit and a global pandemic, the World is now on the brink of World War III, as Russia invades Ukraine. Yet another disaster of incalculable magnitude, after a series of bad choices and unforeseen circumstances; conflict is now unfolding on the continent, as the daily news reports, uncompromising rhetoric and threats from Russian President, Vladimir Putin become increasingly worrying and venomous. The death and destruction, economic sanctions and refugee crisis has started to reverberate across the planet; all of us have begun to suffer the knock on effects of the war in Ukraine.

The cost of everything is going up. As the fighting intensifies, oil prices have skyrocketed, causing massive increases in the cost of oil. Gas, electric, and petrol are all significantly higher than they were and people, already feeling strapped for cash, are now feeling the squeeze tightened further. Inflation is creeping up and looks likely to top ten percent by the end of the year. As sure as night follows day, interest rates will undoubtedly rise, causing a drastic increase in mortgages. Food prices are exploding; as someone who shops in a supermarket daily, I am well aware of the increases. The new European war has curtailed the flow of trade between Ukraine and the rest of the World, making resources scarcer. The breadbasket of Europe is no longer exporting wheat, and the rest of us will have to pay sharply more for a loaf of bread and other products once transported from Ukraine.

I am well aware of the cost of the things I buy; I have seen my shopping bill nearly double since the pandemic, and it isn't going to change anytime soon. When the price cap on gas and electric was abandoned yesterday, utility bills rose by 54% immediately. I am luckier than most, because I do not pay bills where I am living, but will contribute more in other ways, helping to alleviate the costs involved. With higher tax and many of the measures introduced during the pandemic coming to an end, ordinary people are feeling the economic pressure. The cost of living crisis is causing the biggest drain on incomes since the 1950s, and none of us are fully aware of the consequences of circumstances, that are compounding the intensity of this dangerous crossroads. Whether or not families survive the next few years very much depends on the different factors at play. The biggest concern for everyone now is the Ukrainian war and just how long it goes on for, affecting all our lives.

For now, Darrell and I are fine. However, we don't have a home to keep and can save money relatively easily. My goals and aspirations still remain on track, with the possibility of early retirement in four years time, funding a new life in Portugal or somewhere a little more conventional. My future plans are very dependent on how well my pension does and my scope to save the maximum amount of money in order to buy a home. I can only rely on my own frugal abilities, rather like I did when I lived in Spain, but ultimately remain at the mercy of events beyond my control. As usual, being the realist I am, I expect the worst but hope for the best; lets pray the World returns to normal soon and all of us can finally breathe a sigh of relief, restarting where we left off in 2019!