Category: Year In Review 2018

2018 Year In Review - Looking Forwards!

10/1/2019

After a year of turmoil and upheaval, I am hoping that 2019 will bring some relief from the pressures of life. 2018 is another one of those periods I would rather forget. Illness, moving back home from Spain, homelessness and separation from ones partner, have all contributed towards a difficult and arduous time. It is doubtful this is the end of my troubles and 2019 is starting off in much the same way as it did 2018. At the moment there is no end in sight to the difficulties I continue to face, as a partner and a son and I am realistic about the weeks ahead; that doesn't mean however I am writing off yet another twelve months of my life, I continue to work towards peace and harmony for my family and I!

2019 will be a defining year for both mine and Darrell's family. The prognosis for my Mother-In-Law isn't great and Darrell will remain with her for as long as necessary. Although Darrell and I are not living together currently, we hope to end the year reunited as a couple, depending on how long his Mother keeps battling cancer. My Mum has also been ill, but is now home from hospital and has all the equipment necessary to live as normal a life as she can. To be honest, that is the wrong choice of words, her life will never be normal. She is bed bound and relies on my Father and carers for support, but the outlook for the year ahead is far brighter than it was.

I have also been in contact with other members of my extended family, people I have never seen, but through the wonders of DNA and family tree research, have been able to trace and hope to meet my second cousin and his family this coming year. Equally a trip to Liverpool to see my Irish descendants is also on the cards. My Aunty Mary is now in her nineties and I want to see her and other members of my clan, before they get too old to remember who I am.

Living with my Aunt Trisha has also been a fantastic experience and I look forward to another family focused year. Before I left for Spain in 2015, I had little or no contact with my kinfolk, today I have more family than I ever knew I had and am relishing spending time with all of them. 2019 is bound to be another challenging year, but I am now lucky enough to be around those who can support both Darrell and I, through the next phase of our journey together. Family is the most important aspect of my life, a chapter that was missing for too long.

2019 is bound to be another busy year. I am working harder now than I ever have in the past, trying to save enough money for mine and Darrell's future together. Coming home from Spain was the best decision I ever made. The working situation here is far better than that on the Costa Blanca and I am able to save a substantial amount of my income. I hope to remain working for all the organisations I play a part in today. I want to keep the current momentum going and focus on a positive, industrious future, which gives me choices and options about where to go in life. I suppose at the age of 48, I am finally beginning to grow up and see the benefits of a hard working lifestyle. I partied for too long, spent too much money and only lived for each day; I never saw the bigger picture and just what my life could have been, if I had done more to help myself!

In May I am flying to China, spending three weeks away from the UK with my Aunt and Darrell, who I will meet in Beijing, Darrell will be travelling on the last leg of our journey, as we spend a week in the Chinese capital and take a ride on the Chinese Bullet train to Shanghai. I am looking forward to spending time with my partner, after six months away from each other. Two months afterwards, Darrell will also fly to the UK to spend time with my family here, this is of course dependent on his Mother continuing the good progress she is making. Her current condition is such, that she could deteriorate at any time, something that will always be in the back of our minds.

So despite the difficulties ahead this year, I am hopeful 2019 will be the beginning of a new and exciting chapter, where we can finally breath a sigh of relief and get ahead in life. I do seem to have been stuck in a rut, going nowhere fast for a while now, especially after the dreadful years following my departure from Oxfam in 2015. Having put that period firmly behind us, both Darrell and I can look towards better times, despite the predicament we both find our families in. 2019 will be about family first and foremost, but also about building a new life, away from the injustices of the past and without the constrains that kept us grounded and at the mercy of others for far too long. This year is there for the taking, so long as we avoid making the same mistakes again; this year is our year, the year we finally reunite as one!

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2018 Year In Review - Blogging!

4/1/2019

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'Roaming Brit' has been going from strength to strength and I was humbled by the amount of interest shown by you, the readers last year. During the month of November and December I asked the general public if they could send in their Christmas thoughts, highlighting their entries each day. The response was amazing, each of you who took part, detailing stories, thoughts and feelings about the festive season. I thoroughly enjoyed reading every one of them; it was a privilege to have your words documented on my blog, something I can look back to in the future at such an important time of year.

'Christmas Thoughts' was about including people, asking for opinions and recording comments that would otherwise be forgotten. It is important for a Blogger like me, to involve as many people as I can, to keep this site interesting, fresh and current. The interest generated from 'Christmas Thoughts' was phenomenal, with my inbox full to bursting everyday from eager patrons of this site, asking to hear more from those who took part.

Since I began blogging, four years ago I have been amazed by the reach my words have, spanning the globe. During 2018 thousands of people read 'Roaming Brit' each week, a satisfying epitaph for a blog that was born from adversity. Though difficult and challenging subjects are tackled by me all the time, this current blog documents happier times, a departure from what transpired in my life during 2015. In 2019 I have firmly moved away from the testing times I used to write about constantly and concentrate my efforts on a brighter future ahead. All the while I am still mindful of the perplexing, anti social behaviours that were responsible for me putting pen to paper in the first place.

During 2018 I received many messages about bullying and sociopathy, from readers needing help and direction, coping with difficult and arduous circumstances. I do my best to reply to each and every cry for help, or direct them to other organisations who can help them deal with their demons. Blogging isn't just about self serving indulgence, it is also about taking responsibility for our words and helping an audience who have been touched by what we articulate.

I was delighted to include many new guest bloggers last year, people who read 'Roaming Brit' and decided they too wanted to express themselves through the power of writing. Their dedication has been an inspiration for me and to all of you, once again messaging me daily, wanting to become involved. I would like to thank Claire Coe, Debra Rufini and Richard Guy for their continued commitment to their own blogs; they have all become integral to the success of 'Roaming Brit.'

Finally it was a untimely farewell to a dear friend and guest blogger Penelope Wren in 2018. Penelope and I were pupils at the same school in Fareham where we grew up. I was contacted by this wonderful lady about my writing, expressing an interest in blogging and asking for help in setting up a new site. She also continued to write for me, right up until her death in America. Not only will I remember her entries with fondness, but I will also look back on her kind heart, encouraging words of love and wonderful sense of humour. Penelope will always remain a part of this blog, I miss her everyday!

Thanks once again for all your support last year, personally and professionally. You have made 'Roaming Brit' the success it is today and I am looking forward to another fantastic year ahead. Please do keep sending in your thoughts and expressing your views, without you, this blog wouldn't exist and for that you should all feel proud!

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2018 Year In Review - Work!

31/12/2018

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At the beginning of 2018, both Darrell and I were still living in Spain and my working life was practically non existent. I was still employed at the bar I was working for in Plaza Mayor, but my hours had been reduced down to a bare minimum and unknown to me at the time, I had been taken off contract during the less lucrative winter season. I was deeply unhappy with this side of life in Spain, where wages are low, employers generally clueless about the needs of their staff, (in my case anyway) and the long term chances of obtaining a decent job are virtually nil. The Spanish give jobs to their own kind, in stark contrast to Britain, so the only positions available are through the English speaking Expat community. This was the biggest downside for me, getting involved with the wrong person, someone who took advantage of me and others and only thought about their own self gratification. If I had worked at any of the other bars and restaurants in the area, life would have been far better, The moral of this story, is ignore the bullsh*t spouted by some unscrupulous residents and stick to those who are genuine.

When I came back to the UK, things immediately began to change for the better. I am working more today after six months in Britain, than I did during my three years in Gran Alacant. When I returned to these shores in May, I immediately set about getting a job to tide me over. My first stop was Cancer Research, not for paid employment, but to do some voluntary work, something I am very used too and always enjoy. Working with Zerina, Jo and Sam was a great introduction to English life, reconnecting with the country I left behind in 2016. Today I am still working there on a Monday and wouldn't change that for the World. I look forward to my shift and regard it as an important part of my life, giving me an important social outlet as well as helping to make money for charity. Wherever my working life takes me now, I will always have time for this fantastic organisation,.

Shortly after starting at Cancer Research I also got a job in a local pub. This is a position I enjoy and rather like my charity work, has become more of a communal conduit. Working for an English bar, has been a roller coaster ride, so different from the establishment I worked for in Spain. The Newcome is busy, has a regular clientele and is the hub of the local community. Working at LoungeD, there were very few customers, even less regulars and it was actually a very lonely place to work, some days you wouldn't see a soul. Once again, I intend to continue working for This lively public house, no matter what else I do. My time here has been an eye opener and I am lucky enough to have made some wonderful friends along the way.

My main job, the one that pays the bills is of course Tesco, a company I enjoy working for. I am employed by this large superstore along with over three hundred others and It really has a community feel about it, despite its size. Everyone has been welcoming and I felt at home from day one. Most importantly, the pay and benefits are good and I am more than able to sustain myself, a rather different story from the Spain I left behind. Large organisations like Tesco are not only successful because of their retail prowess and position in the marketplace, but also because of the way they treat staff, ensuring people like me are looked after during their working careers. They are flexible and more than willing to fit around my other commitments, which is also a bonus. I hope to continue working for Britain's largest supermarket for the foreseeable future, it suits me today at my time of life!

Finally my working life wouldn't be complete without writing. I continue to write for various publications both here and in Spain as well as producing this blog. My spare time consists of writing as often as I can, because this is the other, creative side of me, something I can express through the power of words, that makes the blood pump through my veins. This is another non negotiable side to my life that is always at the forefront of my thoughts. There are many future opportunities in the pipeline as we move towards 2019 and I am hopeful that I can expand on my writing, encompassing different aspects of my life. I am also writing a book and am half way through this process. This is not a short term vanity project but something I am happy to add to when I have the time. If it takes me a lifetime to write then so be it!

2018 has been a great working year for me and it is only going to get better in the New Year. The stagnation I lived through in Spain is now a distant memory and my old positive self is back, rejecting the negativity of the past and those whose agenda conflicted with my own. There are many downsides to living in the UK, but work isn't one of them. I have been able to establish myself firmly back into British life. Jobs are abundant here, unemployment low and opportunities many, for those who are prepared to work hard. I am happy to be home and even happier to be rebuilding a life that was put on hold for far too long!

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2018 Year In Review - Family!

28/12/2018

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2018 has been a challenging year for me in many respects. There is much about this year that I would love to forget and move to the sidelines, but there is one aspect, that has been positive and worth all the difficulties I faced, that is of course 'family.' Reconnecting with people I haven't seen in years and establishing myself firmly back in the fold, has been a lifeline and a truly important part of 2018. Up until just a few short months ago, I had, little or no contact with relatives, but that all changed in April, when my Cousins Chris and Maria arrived in Spain for a visit.

Darrell and I spend a wonderful few days getting to my Cousin again, after so many years without contact. We had started talking through the wonders of facebook after finally biting the bullet and rekindling a relationship that frittered away thirty years ago, when I was in my teens embarking on a new life at University. As children we were never really close, but that all changed this year, messaging each other regularly and on my return to Britain, meeting up when we can. My new bond with Chris was a catalyst for contacting other members of my maternal family and today, five months after returning home, I have seen most of those I had lost contact with. Life does take us down many different paths, but as I have discovered, it is important, not to forget our roots. The people who were important in my life as a youngster, are once again prominent, paramount for me today as I approach my fifties!

When I arrived in the UK in May of this year, I moved in with my Aunt in Portsmouth, a place I have never actually lived, despite being born here in 1971. Forming new relationships with my paternal family has been the most satisfying characteristic of my time spent in Britain so far. At the beginning of 2018, there was no family in my life, today I have more contact with relatives than I could ever dream of. Aunts, Uncles and many, many cousins all in my life on a daily basis. I have always had a connection with my Aunt, we are very similar in our outlook and also our past indiscretions, so it has been an important part of my pilgrimage, living with her. I am not sure that if I had stayed with someone else, I would have remained in the UK for as long as I have now. I do feel at home here and am enjoying getting to know those close once again. My Aunt and I were brought together at an important juncture in both our lives, me leaving Spain and her splitting with her partner. We have both helped one another get over our different losses and have formed an enduring bond in the process.

Most importantly I have rekindled my propinquity with Mum and Dad, after becoming estranged from them many years ago. Illness and old age has determined that I stay here and be with them both, at a challenging time for all of us. Mum has been in and out of Hospital almost on a weekly basis and I have done my best to be with her and Dad when I can. As a family we have come together to discuss the future, preparing for the inevitable hurdles down the line. Equally I have seen my brother for the first time in many years and although strained at first I am looking forwards to re-establishing a link with him and his family. We will probably never be close as siblings, but we can at least begin the process of talking, listening and acting on instincts to come together for the sake of our parents. My future is for now firmly entrenched in Portsmouth and I want it to be a happy and rewarding experience; family bonds are a priority, as they probably should have been many years ago.

Finally with my partner living in Australia, caring for his ailing Mother, I am sad that we can not be together. Darrell is my family and this current journey I am travelling is all the more difficult without him. In time we will be reunited and I am sure we will make the right choices for both our futures. Having him here, living with my family is a possibility, equally me moving to Australia being close to his, is also on the cards. For now all bets are off and we are both just doing the right thing for our respective Mothers, as 2018 turns to 2019, both of us will eventually understand where our destiny lies and we can firmly make the decisions needed in order for our life to continue united again!

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2018 Year In Review - Gran Alacant!

10/12/2018

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Wow, what a year 2018 has been. If I look back to January, I would have never imagined I would be sat here in Britain, living with my Aunt, while Darrell is living in Australia caring for his Mother. I am still existing in a strange World, getting used to English customs and ways once again, as well as the busy life I now lead, so different from the one I left behind in Spain. In today's blog entry I wanted to talk about my final few months in Spain and just how my life changed so dramatically so quickly.

Up until January, Darrell and I were very content with our life on the Costa Blanca. Darrell's job was going well, better than either of us expected and although my employment wasn't giving me much satisfaction, I was at least bringing in some money to tide us over during the winter months. As a couple we were able to survive quite comfortably with what we earned but neither of us were ever going to be wealthy. Existing in Spain was always about lifestyle and keeping ones head above water, nothing more and by February the difficult Spanish system was beginning to bite.

Darrell had surrendered his British driving license in late 2017, necessary when resident in Spain and also to allow him to keep his driving job at Alicante Airport. We assumed there would be no problem with this simple procedure, but nothing could be further from the truth. In order to get his UK license, Darrell had already relinquished his West Australian driving card many years before to the British authorities and unknown to us at the time, he wouldn't be able to hand in this exchanged UK document for a Spanish one; however it wouldn't be too long before we found out. It was classed as a third party license and since he had never taken a driving test in Europe and Spain had no reciprocal agreement with Australia to transfer its driving permits, it would in all probability be rejected. We soon discovered he would have to undertake Spanish driving lessons and a test at great expense and they would have to be carried out in the native Spanish language. This would prove to be an impossible task given our limited understanding of the local dialect; once again our unconventional relationship was becoming a problem!

By March we had decided to leave Spain. We had both worked extremely hard to stay, followed the law, jumped through Spanish hoops and did everything to legitimise our life in Gran Alacant. Of course the driving license fiasco was an issue, but it was more than that; life in Spain for both of us was very lonely. We had very few real friends and didn't constantly drink in bars like others; we kept ourselves very much to ourselves, fed up with the constant back stabbing from certain elements in the Expat community and had become disillusioned with our life on the med. Although Darrell enjoyed his job, my position was very different, another reason for me to leave at least. I had discovered that I had been removed from my contract of employment without my knowledge. I hadn't seen a wage slip in over two months and my boss had become evasive and bitter towards the square in which his bar was situated. Constantly listening to the ramblings of someone who clearly had no idea how to run a bar let alone be civil to those who went to his establishment was becoming increasingly burdensome and I wasn't going to stand for it any longer!

During April and May Darrell and I pressed the rest button once again, beginning our journey leaving Spain, I would depart first and he would stay on for a while, to finish his contract at the airport. Our intentions were to eventually relocate to Australia, so we advertised everything we owned and sold it to fellow Expats in the community in which we resided. The hardest part was rehoming our two new cats Mollie and Wildling, who had become an important part of our life, but we were reassured by their new family that they would be well looked after. By April they were gone and we finally got to the end of selling our possessions. What little we had left was shipped on to Australia and we began the process of saying goodbye to those we still hold dear today.

I had become homeless with no goods and chattels, a complete contrast to my hoarding life before. With nothing left, I felt like a weight had been lifted and Darrell and I could finally leave Spain and restart our lives somewhere new, somewhere that we could finally regard as home and somewhere we could forget about the pressures of surviving in Europe without the support we so clearly needed. Both of us were beginning new chapters away from each other, as I made the decision to return to the UK immediately and live with my Aunty, where I could be close to loved ones. Little did I know at the time, but my relocation would be more important than ever and my life was about to change once again!

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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

2018 Year In Review - Looking Forwards!

2018 Year In Review - Blogging!

2018 Year In Review - Work!

2018 Year In Review - Family!

2018 Year In Review - Gran Alacant!

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