Review of 2019 - The end of a decade!

2019 has been a year like no other, one I am glad to see the back of. I seem to have had more bad years than not in recent times and am getting used to the roller coaster ride that is my life at the moment. The year started off well enough, as my Aunt and I started to organise our trip to Asia in May, to meet Darrell, who was flying in from Australia, to connect with us in Hong Kong. Darrell and I are travellers at heart, so organising a three week trip to my favourite part of the World, is a sure fire way of improving my spirits and encouraging a more positive outlook for the future. With plans well and truly in hand, I could get on with the rest of my life, and enjoy my time here in the UK.

After a cold winter, I was also looking forward to seeing my family on the Channel Island of Jersey, travelling with my Uncle and Cousins, to this little slice of the British Isles in June, but it just wasn’t to be. Devastatingly I fell ill a few days before I was due to fly and ended up spending the duration in bed. To be honest I haven’t really recovered from the infection I contracted and was disappointed not to be going to my Aunts home on the Island. This would be a trip for later in the year, but for now my priority was getting well.

Getting well, going to see my GP and constantly worrying about the state of my health, was very much at the forefront of my life last year. From IBS, to Diverticulitis, high blood pressure, anxiety and old age, I was in and out of the Doctors surgery with assured regularity. As I have gotten older, I have started to worry about my general disposition and sense of well-being. 2019 was most certainly a year of worry; brought about by the circumstances I now find myself in, I am likely to carry on very much in the same vein, at least until mine and Darrell’s life changes for the better. As we move into 2020, I don’t expect things to alter very much in the short term, a factor that will hopefully improve in the future.

I lost three people I was close to this year, in what I can only describe as a dreadful period of loss. In January my dear Aunt Carol died, after a long battle with cancer. Carol was someone I always looked up to and a person who had always stuck by me, when no one else did, no matter what. She was the link to my family that I lost at different times in my life and she was the glue that held my memories together. A gracious, giving and generous lady, who I will always think of and will forever be in my heart.

During the summer Uncle Ray died after a short illness also. He was the centre of life at the Newcome Arms where I work and was a character like no other. Ray welcomed me home to Portsmouth and was always there to help when he could. His loss is all our loss and I will miss him dearly, like everyone else who knew him!

In October, my Mother also died; long suffering, she fought bravely until the end, when she couldn’t fight any more. Despite my reservations at the time, I was glad to be with her at the end. Mum’s pain was visible in her final hours and my heart broke seeing her in so much agony. In the end she died of a heart attack, rather than anything related to her long term illness and I am thankful she went quickly, surrounded by her family. When one looses someone close, one is transported to a very different World. My life will never be the same without her, as I know my Father and Brothers wont be; all of us will always mourn her passing and think of her everyday.

During happier times I was lucky enough to travel to Vietnam, Hong Kong, South Korea and Cambodia last year, in order to meet Darrell. I travelled along with my Aunt to Asia, where we spent an amazing three weeks navigating some truly memorable countries. This was indeed the holiday of a lifetime and a trip I shall always remember for its uniqueness and awe inspiring wonderment. I have travelled to many parts of the World over the years, but never so many amazing countries with so much to see and experience. By the end of the trip, I was exhausted, through sheer cultural overload. This journey has opened the door to our holiday to Japan and Thailand this year and is an enduring memory I shall take with me wherever I go. Travel is the reason I live and will always be a big part of my life!

Darrell arrived in the UK in November, to spend a month away from life with his Mother in Australia. I was thrilled to see him after six months apart and we spent a fantastic four weeks together. Both of us flew to Jersey, so I could finally see my family and despite the weather, we enjoyed the relative peace and quiet on this beautiful island. This was also the first time I had met my Cousins George and Pheobe, ending an unforgettable time getting to know my family.

My connection to family has become closer this year, spending time with relatives from both my Mother and Fathers side, talking about times I had almost forgotten. I have spent 2019 making a conscious effort to rebuild some badly broken bridges and despite the loss of Mum am glad my family seem closer now than ever before.

As I look back at this past year I am struck by the twelve months of contrasting events. 2019 was a time of very mixed emotions and has pushed me and my family to our limits. We have all once again weathered the storm that was circling and have come out the other side emotionally and physically drained. Only seeing my husband twice a year has also become a struggle, as we both try and make the best of our situation, doing our utmost for one another. I never imagined my life would end up quite like this and although I do have my down days, I am still happy and positive looking forward to another twelve months of ups and downs. As I try and manoeuvre my way along this war torn road, they call life, I am mindful of the mistakes of the past. This may not be the way it was planned, but it sure makes for an eventful time!

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