To be honest, I was in two minds, whether to even write a review this year, but, this has been a particularly important milestone in my life, so it is necessary to include it. Generally one could sum up 2020 in one word 'COVID,' the one thing that has dominated all our lives and the one thing that just keeps on giving. This has been a memorable year for sure, but for all the wrong reasons and this isn't a period I want to repeat in the future. 2020 has been like a large dark cloud hovering over my head for nearly twelve months, rather like periods of depression I have suffered in the past, and it is a reminder of everything I have lost, in fact everything we have all lost. This was the year none of us want to remember and a time we all want to forget!

The last time I saw Darrell was in November 2019, when he returned home to be with his Mother, after a short stay in the UK. By January 2020, we were planning our next trip to see one another in Japan and Thailand. In February our flights were booked, itinerary finalised, and we were ready for our next holiday in Asia. At the beginning of the year, COVID-19 was a problem on the other side of the World and by the time we were due to meet, it would have disappeared. Little could I have known then, just what position I would be in today. I was optimistic about the future all those months ago and looking forward to seeing my husband once again, however dreams can shatter as quickly as they appear and circumstances destroy 'best laid plans of mice and men.'

This first quarter of the year was a far cry from the World we live in today. Things were relatively normal and like Darrell, I was in good spirits. This was short-lived; the pandemic took hold in Europe and then Britain; the tide began to change. As a country, we kept our boarders open, while Darrell's home country of Australia closed theirs. Death rates began to rise dramatically, and I felt myself falling into a situation I couldn't resolve. By the time of the first lockdown, I was feeling worn out and tired, as new social distancing measures were brought in. My working life changed markedly and the air was thick with anxiety, as all of us fought our own battles to overcome the 'new normal' we were all living through.

At the end of March, I suddenly lost my sense of taste and smell, along with several other colleagues. At the time this wasn't a recognised symptom of Coronavirus and although I knew there was something up, I carried on, very much in the same vein as I had before. Always obsessive, like I am today, I sanitized my hands every few minutes and kept as wider distance from others as I could. This virus was scaring the hell out of me; the more days that passed, the more we found out about this infection and the more apprehensive I became. Daily press conferences, twenty-four hour rolling news and scenes of sheer panic in hospitals, reinforced the nations respect for the National Health Service, as we clapped for carers every Thursday night. These were strange, unnerving and daunting days.

At the beginning of April, as I awoke one morning, after a sleepless night, I felt my temperature rising and my breathing more laboured. I immediately phoned 111 and described my symptoms. They were not classic COVID symptoms as we know them today, but they were enough for me to have to self-isolate for a week. After just a few days I felt well and able to return to work after my stretch of quarantine. People ask me today, if they think I had the virus, to which I reply 'yes, I think so.' You have to remember there were no tests available at the time and a loss of taste and smell wasn't recognised as a symptom like it is today. If I had to hazard a guess as to my condition, I would say it was virus related, but I am cautious. As someone who has many of the 'red flags' for a far worse reaction to COVID, I would have expected a more severe manifestation; that makes me unsure as to the reasons behind my anosmia; only time will tell.

I spent the summer walking across the city of Portsmouth; with time on my hands I was able to explore this great naval city I now call home. I decided to cut my hours at work and only go in when absolutely required to do so, protecting myself at every juncture. This allowed me time to myself and although I felt terribly lonely on occasion, I was grateful for the chance to do things I wouldn't normally have done. The three-month national lockdown improved my level of fitness, but left my mental state in tatters. Isolated, with very little human contact, I did my best to get through the difficulties, as I still do today.

The rest of the year, after lockdown has been much the same - in and out of quarantine, pubs reopening and closing, stopping and starting work, 'Eat Out To Help Out,' (which probably made the virus worse) and mistake after mistake from the powers that be. I have really lost all sense of reality over the last few months, unable to understand just what rules we have to follow, how many people we can have in our 'bubble,' or what all the different tier restrictions mean. After, what I can only describe as the 'continuing Government fiasco,' I have learnt to do what I think is best and always follow my own instincts. I have started to ignore the official wishy-washy approach to this virus and do all I can to look after number one. I always wear a mask, clean my hands and keep a two-meter distance from everyone else.

On the plus side, I have been able to meet my friend Ramona over the last three months, and we had begun to rekindle our thirty-year friendship. That was at least until we headed into a new lockdown of sorts and entered the new Tier 4. Equally, Darrell and I are speaking more than ever and are beginning to plan for the future, looking towards a brighter 2021.

As we approach the New Year, the UK has started to vaccinate us against this modern day plague, after the Pfizer vaccine was approved for use. It looks as though the Oxford AstraZeneca vaccine will also be rubber-stamped within days and the mass inoculation programme will pick up pace. Like most people I am hoping to be immunized against COVID-19 sometime next year. However, until then, there will likely be more disruption, as like me today, people are asked to self-isolate from the outside World, if they come in contact with a COVID positive person, and Britain moves from curtailment to emancipation in equal measure.

There will be no travelling for me next year, rather like 2020. I want to be sure I am fit enough to fly, but I am looking forward to a time, when I can get on a plane again and travel back to the Asian continent, a region I adore. Until that is possible, Darrell will hopefully fly home next year, and we can both begin the long hard slog back to normal, away from the threat of the virus. Cohabiting together once more after this strange pause in all our lives has been restarted, our partnership will return to convention and all of this will be but a distant memory. 2021, the year of the vaccine will mark the beginning of the end of COVID-19 and a climax to this dystopian World all of us now inhabit.

Kuala Lumpur 1997

Kuala Lumpur 2001