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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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A World About Residency!

30/4/2023

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Visa Granted - The first step to citizenship!

29/4/2023

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ANZAC day commemorates all those Australians and New Zealanders who have served and died in conflicts and wars. On the 25th April 1915, Australian and New Zealand soldiers formed part of the expedition designed to recapture the Gallipoli Peninsular during World War I. These soldiers became known as ANZAC's and the day was officially named in their honour in 1916.

In Western Australia, we remembered the fallen this Tuesday, with a public holiday; Darrell and I spent the day quietly, drinking Bovril (and Bonox, the Aussie alternative) and sitting by the fire on a chilly holiday afternoon. With the rain tumbling down outside, we curled up on the sofa and watched Netflix, in particular Miriam Morgolyes, and her new show, 'Almost Australian.'

Miriam's show was particularly poignant for me; I had no idea she had an Australian partner, and her journey towards citizenship was fascinating to watch. I was left feeling content with my decision to leave Britain, in the same way Miriam moved from The UK to live with her partner, Heather. Of course, my journey is very different. Neither Darrell nor I have the money she has, and we have spent many years battling to stay together through the most difficult of circumstances. However, the story of Miriam and Heather isn't all that different to our own. As I sat there watching, with the rain pouring down outside, I briefly thought about the country I left behind and Australia, the continent that feels more like home every day.

It must have been about 3.30pm when the rain stopped, and I finally got round to checking my email. I noticed a message from my solicitor, John, in my inbox, and my heart sank - what on Earth does he want on a public holiday? Judging on previous experience, emails from John aren't generally good, and it is usually highlighting a mistake in my application, asking me to rectify a stressful situation. Gingerly, I opened the email and saw the first word, 'congratulations.' I couldn't believe it; after exactly four months, the Australian government had approved my temporary and permanent residency at the same time. I was finally allowed to stay here, with no conditions and more or less the same rights as every other Australian.

It's strange, this kind of feels like the end of my story - I've been working towards this goal in one form or another, since I have been with Darrell, for near on 28 years. However, this is really just the beginning. I may well have been granted permanent residency and allowed to leave Australia as and when I wish, but this is just the start of my road to citizenship and my Australian passport. At nearly 52 years old, I am embarking on an adventure, I should have completed years ago. Like most things in life, I am rather late to the party, but I have finally got here and relishing the opportunities I have been afforded, even if I am the wrong side of 50!

My new Partner Visa allows me to live in Australia for the next five years, without any conditions. I can return to the UK and work if I wish, go travelling, live in Europe for a period, but essentially I have been given rights to live here with Darrell indefinitely.  After five years, I will have to make a decision. I can renew my visa, or I can apply for citizenship and obtain an Australian passport.

At the moment, I haven't made any firm commitments about where my future lies, but having my Aussie citizenship will be a dream come true. I will also be able to keep my British passport and continue to have rights to reside and work there also. Even though that is welcome, I don't think I will be going to the UK anytime soon, certainly not to live anyway. My future most definitely is in Australia, but as Darrell and I look towards our retirement, we will have to make a decision about where to live permanently. I am still not sure Australia will be our forever home, and if I am honest my heart still lies in Spain. I have a dream to retire back to Gran Alacant and would love to eventually settle in Europe once again.

Of course, Brexit put pay to our European adventure in 2018, but times change and anything could happen in the next decade. The hope is, we will be allowed to settle in Spain at some point, when we have enough money to do so. For now, I am happy to call Australia home and build a future in Perth; ultimately I would love to get my citizenship when the time is right, but until then both Darrell and I need to knuckle down and build a new life. The rocky road we have been on for many years has suddenly got a little less rocky, and I'm at a loss to explain how everything is going our way. Can I really dare to dream? Can this really be going right? Or is everything about to come crashing down? For now, I'm just running with the good times, and thinking only positive thoughts!

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Saturday Evening Chat!

15/4/2023

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Adjusting to a more solitary life!

31/3/2023

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Waking up on Friday morning, I was struck by how cold it was. Now when I say cold, I don't mean below freezing, which is commonplace in The UK, but it was noticeably colder than usual and really did feel like Autumn had arrived. Walking to work at 7am, with an umbrella and mac, I was reminded of my time living in Portsmouth. Thankfully, I am no longer there, but I suddenly felt down and a little depressed. It has been a long time since I last experienced a winter, well over a year, so the inclement weather is sadly a sign of things to come.
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Apart from the rain, which is as rare as hens teeth here, I've had a pretty ordinary week. For me, that is a good thing; I've had enough drama in my life to last a lifetime, so anything that points to convention and routine is welcome. Even after being in Australia for six months, I am still waiting for word from my solicitor and the Department of Home Affairs about my visa. However, no news is good news and for now I am playing a waiting game, until the powers that be, decide it's time to make my status official.

For the most part, I am just getting on with life, building a new future in Australia. We are continuing to decorate the new house and make our home as comfortable as possible. Of course, there is something in the back of my mind that keeps on chipping away, warning me of what could happen, if my application for residency is rejected. This isn't a scenario that is likely to happen according to my solicitor, but it could, and that is enough to keep that worrying nature I have, alive and kicking.
I'm enjoying being a homeowner again, despite the expense involved. Darrell and I aim to pay off the mortgage in superfast time, so we are having to channel a lot of money into our monthly repayment. At the moment we don't have any problem with this, but if interest rates continue to rise unchecked, then we won't be able to keep these high payments up indefinitely. On top of paying the mortgage and bills, we do have to renovate the villa as well; this all takes money and a lot of time and resources. Thankfully, we have gone as far as we need to for now, making the place habitable. Over the next few years we will concentrate on each room in more depth - recarpet, rewire, paint and decorate; this isn't something we have time for presently, but we are constantly looking forwards, and planning just what we want to do with this place long term.

I am following events from back home in the UK closely; I may well be an expat living in Australia, but Britain will always be my home, and I am interested in the direction it takes after Brexit. The reality is, Darrell and I are settling in Perth, Western Australia, because of Britain's departure from the EU. Like most people, I had no idea that my original life plan of moving and living in Spain would be unachievable, after Brexit. Naively, I thought life would carry on very much in the same vein as it always had; how wrong was I.

Perth was never our preferred option, Spain was always our dream, and I do feel rather cheated as I rebuild in Australia. Nevertheless, we are where we are, and I have to live with the consequences of the vote to leave Europe. Western Australia is a good second option; in fact, if I think with my head, rather than my heart, it is probably the best option. I really don't think I would have a career in Spain, paying the huge wage I have here, and be a homeowner after only a few months. So the reality is, we have made the right choice at the right time.

Like most places we have lived over the years, it does have its ups and downs and despite loving my new life and home, I am mindful of the negative aspects of living in Perth. Darrell and I are very much on our own, and we have put in all the hard work ourselves, without the help of anyone. We have always been that way - very independent and able to survive without the bank of Dad, but we are also without our support network, that we had built up in Britain. We don't have friends around us, and I am finding that quite a struggle.

Our friends have always been our family, they were the ones there for us at important milestones in our life and without them, we just wouldn't have survived. Similarly, when I worked for Tesco, my colleagues were very much akin to family; they were the people who were close during an extremely stressful period, with the pandemic raging across the World. All the individuals, the great and good who have been a part of my life, in some cases as far back as the 1980s and my time at school, are suddenly not there and that is quite disconcerting.

Just before I left for Asia in September last year, I managed to spend a lot of time with friends. I was humbled by just how many people wanted to say their goodbyes, as we headed for pastures new. The emotions I felt were indescribable and made me realise just how much people cared about Darrell and me. That is why I found it particularly difficult to leave. Having said that, now I am well aware of where my future lies and luckily there is social media, which does help me stay in contact with friends and family. It is making the transition to a new life easier to deal with, but despite how successful we are, it doesn't detract from the people we left behind - I miss them every day.

It is important Darrell and I keep moving onwards and building on the foundations we have created, but we should always remember our roots, and the people who made us who we are, affording us unconditional love at traumatic crossroads in our life. I am happy to be away from the more challenging aspects of life in Britain, but I will forever be grateful, for the abundance of friends, who will always remain in the memories I carry with me, wherever I am in the World. Links to the past, through those who are important will always be there, unbroken, unrelenting and without condition. I am lucky to have been entrusted with such a wonderful collection of characters, and will continue to keep them close, as I finally settle down into a more sedate, relaxed way of life!
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The Week From Hell - What a mistake to make!

24/2/2023

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As weeks go, this one has been pretty rubbish if I am honest. Darrell and I often have periods like this; one minute things are going great and the next everything goes 'tits up.' As it happens, things started well on Monday; we went out looking for furniture for the house and just spent time shopping. I went for my usual mooch around the local charity shops and the day passed by relatively quickly. That was until I received an email from my solicitor, John, who had heard from the Department of Home Affairs, asking me to grant my caseworker permission to contact ACRO about my UK police record.

Way back in the dim and distant past, I made some stupid choices, nothing bad, just drunken shenanigans and high jinx, that ended with me getting a slap on the wrist. These weren't even classed as criminal convictions; I was told off by the police and that was the end of the matter. However, Australia's strict immigration policy says I have to declare any and all history, spent or unspent, however minor. To be honest, if I asked any of you, if you ever got in trouble with the police in the past, for something foolish, I'm sure most of you would say yes. Despite this, I confirmed all of my details when applying for the partner visa, and believed the matter was now closed.

In 2009, I trained to be an Advocate and Mentor with Action for Children. I went through a particularly harrowing enrolment programme and had to supply an 'Enhanced Disclosure,' just to show I was suitable to work in the position I had applied for. At the time I had just started a new job at Oxfam and sadly couldn't take up the appointment, but I received the certificate, saying I was approved to work, and put it in the back of a draw, forgetting about it until I arrived in Perth.

The truth is I never looked at it, because I didn't need to, I knew what the entries would include, so just left it to one side. This was never really a piece of paper I needed to use, until today, when applying for visas here in Australia. I referred briefly to the certificate, including the information in my application form as requested. When I arrived at Perth Airport in September 2022, I even showed Boarder Force the document, who duly took a photocopy for their records and let me go through unhindered.

The day after I received the letter from my solicitor, I phoned ACRO, interestingly located in my home town of Fareham, and spoke to a representative on the phone, who relayed the details on my police certificate verbally. This is apparently standard practice, and a written copy is only available under an 'Access of Information Order.' Everything she disclosed I knew about, except the final submission. My heart sank. Although this was no more serious than any of the other narratives I knew about, I had failed to disclose it to the authorities in Australia, and that could be a real problem going forward.

How the hell didn't I know about this entry? I immediately contacted my solicitor who told me to write a Statutory Declaration, informing immigration of my mistake and to declare the relevant information on my application for permanent residency. He also suggested reading the 'Enhanced Disclosure,' just to make sure there was nothing else on there; something I may have missed.

Now this is going to sound like I'm stupid, but one has to remember I have never looked at the disclosure properly, because I thought I knew what it contained. However, I found the document and started to examine it. For the first time, I turned the document over, and there at the top of the second page was the offending paragraph. I had literally never read any further than page one, and that was the problem. I have never felt such an idiot in all my life.

The records on my Police Clearance Certificate are not a reason to deny me settlement in Australia, by any means. Under normal circumstances, they wouldn't even be considered. What is more serious is the fact I didn't declare one of them in the first place. This was a genuine oversight that should never have happened, but it has, and I have held my hands up to it, hoping that The Department For Home Affairs sees the genuine nature of my error. I am so upset with myself, as everything was going so well, but this is one big spanner in the works and there isn't anything I can do to put it right.

For now, I am putting all of this to the back of my mind and, as my solicitor encouraged, getting on with the rest of my life. This may or may not be a problem going forward, but after the trauma and stress this has caused, I have to just park this for a while, until I am contacted about it officially. My fingers are crossed this will not hinder our future down under, but I'm not taking anything for granted and hope the powers that be, see through what was an essentially ridiculous oversight, as I rushed to complete my application.

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The Dreaded Form 80!

26/1/2023

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January 2023 has been a month filled with paperwork. I don't think I have ever had so much form filling to do in all my life. Not that long ago, I used to think the bureaucracy in Spain was bad, when we moved there in 2018, but Australia beats it by a mile. I have always been mindful of just how difficult it is to move here, which is why I have constantly avoided making the decision to live in Perth full-time. After everything Darrell and I have been through over the years, it just wasn't something we really wanted to go through. However, circumstances change, and it has become a necessary evil; we have had to bite the bullet and do what is necessary.

From Medicare, the tax office, work related documents and now the dreaded 'form 80,' my life is just drowning in paperwork and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight quite yet. This week, my Immigration lawyer contacted me, saying I would need to fill in a form to assess my character. This isn't usual practice with a partner visa application, but because of several minor infringements when I was young, it is something I have to do.

To be honest, I never really imagined I would have to fill in such a form, since the convictions are twenty-five years old and committed as a rash, young twenty-year-old, after a rather intoxicating night out - that will teach me, never to act in such an impulsive manner again. A small altercation in 1997, is enough for the Department of Home Affairs in Australia, to delve deeper into my life. When I say deeper, I literally mean, as deep as it can get; it isn't, no laughing matter.

Providing job and address history since the year of my birth is no mean feat; I am lucky however to have documented my life over many years, and hold much of that information on my laptop. Going through all of that data has proved rather time-consuming, nevertheless. My computer filing system isn't the most logical, and the biggest challenge has been hunting down the important files. Thankfully, I have found the majority of what I need, and was able to submit the form to my lawyer yesterday.

I was always warned how difficult moving to Australia would be, so was aware such difficulties were bound to arise. Despite this, Darrell and I are very committed to this country and being close to his Mother at what is a crucial time. We are also lucky, to have the luxury, of time on our side. Both of us have been together for nearly twenty-seven years now, so proving our relationship together isn't difficult. The events and milestones that make up our time together, annoyingly, aren't always consistent in the same way, as a heterosexual couple, which can prove problematic. As gay men growing up in the eighties and nineties, our life was very much dictated by circumstances beyond our control. A lack of support, no access to help and advice, and the stigma of homosexuality imposed by successive Governments and less than desirable people, has always tried to thwart our relationship at every turn.

We are well-used to having to fight to stay together, forging a way through the red tape and despite the heartache and pain this causes, we have always managed to come back stronger than ever before. I understand how important it is for Australia to check our commitment together and my background as an individual. I personally have nothing to hide and have always been open and transparent with the authorities here. It is always best to be honest, tell the truth and admit your failings in life. A momentary indiscretion twenty-five years ago, may not be a reason to bar me from settling with my husband down under, but lying about it, certainly is.

This week, will end in the same way it began. With our completion date only days away now, it is important to focus on the end goals and not dwell on things I have no control over. I hope things turn out for the best, but I am always a realist at heart; if the worst comes to the worst, we will head back to the UK and restart where we left off. For now, that is a long way off; let's hope my honesty will pay dividends, and we can finally begin to live the rest of our life together.


Happy Australia Day
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On a much lighter note, today is Australia Day, and a national holiday here in Australia. Unlike Darrell, I have had the day off and spent it relaxing, something I don't do very often at the moment. Australia Day is a controversial date; it marks the landing of the First Fleet at Sydney Cove and the raising of the Union Flag by Arthur Phillip in 1788. This is therefore a white settler holiday and, for the aboriginal community, marks the destruction of their way of life and the culture they hold dear. Everyone who celebrates this day, should be conscious of that fact!

I have not celebrated today in the traditional sense, but I have followed events closely on television, purely out of curiosity.  It is important for me to immerse myself in all aspects of Australian culture, and today is just a part of that process!

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Cor Blimey, It's been a Scorcher!

21/1/2023

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Cor Blimey, Governor, it's been a hot one. Today has been the hottest day in Perth, so far this year and considering 2023 has only just started, I bet there are a few more days like this to come. The temperature in Midland reached a top of 43 degrees earlier today; well, that's what it registered on my Fitbit anyway, but luckily I was working in a lovely air-conditioned shop. I'm really not used to these extreme temperatures, coming from the UK, but having lived in Spain I am more used to the heat than most. Surprisingly, however, there is very little humidity here, so you don't really sweat in the same way you would during a humid UK summer.

Today is also the end of the second week in my new job, and I am looking forward to a few days well-earned rest. The last couple of weeks have been particularly stressful because of everything that has been going on. The house sale is progressing well, after Darrell and I had the mortgage confirmed by Commonwealth bank, and we are looking to move very soon; everything is just so fast here. When the Home loan was confirmed, we were given a fifteen-day settlement date, and we should be in our new villa by the middle of February. Thankfully for us, there will be no stamp duty to pay. Under normal circumstances, we would have been liable for a bill of $8000, but because we are first time buyers here, Western Australia has waved that fee.

On Monday we have a surveyor checking the house, and always up for a bargain, I am shopping around for the cheapest settlement solicitor in Perth. So far I have been quoted $1000 less than the original price I was given. Darrell is worrying about letting the other firm down, but I am of the opinion, why should we pay more for the same service? Yes I may be tight, but in all honesty, I have to be. Saving the cents is important for me now, especially with mortgage repayments of $1300 a month.

We decided to take out a variable rate mortgage, in order to pay it off as quickly as possible. We want to repay it within ten years, which is doable, as long as interest rates start to stabilise. Furthermore, we are both lucky to be earning a very good wage, so can afford to double our repayments each month and pay it back in record time. Of course, only time will tell if that actually happens or not. I am confident, that as long as we continue on the same path we are on now, we won't have too much to worry about.

The paperwork trail this week has been astronomical, we just haven't stopped filling in forms. However, most of this has been done remotely and with the help of our amazing mortgage broker at the bank, we have managed to get this done and dusted relatively quickly. Yes, I am stressed and sleeping less, but I am also working and able to concentrate my efforts elsewhere, thus avoiding worrying about moving, every day.

When all is said and done, we have achieved our goals in superfast time. Not only do we both have well paid jobs, but we are also buying a house, new car and looking forward to the rest of our life together. It really has been a long road getting here, but I can finally say, without a shadow of a doubt, we made the right decision. Putting the past behind us is our overriding priority now. Those who have played an important role in our future are welcome with open arms, as for the rest, well, they are just a warning to do better in future. This isn't the first new start we have had, but it is the most successful to date; for that reason it is important to stay focused, and remain positive as this new year progresses. This is the life we have both craved for so long, the success we have dreamed of, and the break we both need; finally contentment it's only a heartbeat away!

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Year in Review 2022!

27/12/2022

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Wow, what a year it has been for both me and Darrell. So much has happened in such a small space of time, I just don't know where to begin. I suppose I should start at the beginning - Darrell had been back in the UK for just a few short months and both of us were planning a future together in Portsmouth, in the aftermath of a pandemic that had conspired to keep us apart for nearly two years.

We were pretty happy and sorted at the beginning of 2022. Both of us were working in jobs we loved and were discussing the possibility of buying a home together for the first time in many years. The pandemic had been kind to us at least, and we had saved up a substantial amount of money for a deposit, but it just wasn't enough for somewhere big enough for our needs. To be honest, when I look back, I don't think either of us really wanted to live in a pokey one-bedroom flat, in a city we just couldn't call our own. I'm not sure if that sounds completely right, but what I am trying to say is, it never really felt like home. It didn't have the memories needed to form an emotional attachment. Although I had some strong friendships, keeping that connection alive, ultimately it wasn't enough to keep us in this famous naval city, on the south coast of England.

Darrell was working hard at Cancer Research in a job he loved. His boss and my friend Zerina was instrumental in keeping us both in Portsmouth for as long as we were there. She is one of my closest and dearest friends and a lady I hold in the highest regard. She has helped both me and Darrell out more times than I care to remember. Her advice has been invaluable, and she was a huge presence in both our lives. I don't think I have ever seen Darrell so happy in his work, as he was there, and he really put his heart and soul into a position he loved. Back then, I was sure we would stay in Portsmouth for the rest of our days.

Equally, I was thoroughly enjoying my position at Tesco, as I had done since I started there in 2018. In many ways, I had become part of the furniture and had settled into my role with ease. For the first time in many years, I had formed close friendships with some truly remarkable characters. These were the lifeline that kept me going when Darrell was away, and they held me together, while living a rather frugal existence in Portsmouth.

My colleagues on the Customer Service desk where I worked were such a close-knit group, it was always going to be a wrench leaving them behind under any circumstances, let alone what transpired later in the year. Together with my closest friend Jules, this was the World I wanted to keep, grasp tightly and not want to let go!

Jules was normally the first person I saw every morning, forever smiling, consistently welcoming and invariably so full of life. We talked about everything and anything, and he is the nearest to the Brother I have never really had. Our bond grew especially close during my last year in the UK, and I really don't think I would have survived those final days in Portsmouth without him. He was a shoulder to cry on, an encyclopedia of advice and always, just always that little bit 'extra gay'. Every morning we saw one another, we would always have the biggest bear hug and make sure to end our morning natter before work by saying those immortal words 'be extra gay today,' as we did every day, bringing a little bit of sunshine into an otherwise drab, dull world.

Of course nothing was quite as it seemed and although my work life was the best it had ever been, things at home were not working out. I had lived with my Aunt for four years and thoroughly enjoyed my time there. She was, in all but name, Mum, especially after my Mother died in 2019. My Aunt, Darrell and I all got on well in the same house, and it was an arrangement that worked perfectly for the most part. I suppose I became complacent and took our living situation for granted, believing things would carry on very much in the same vein, even when the danger signs were there.

Her son and my Cousin moved back into the family home in the middle of the year and despite a rocky start, things worked fine. I have always had a close bond with my Cousin, and in many respects he reminds me of myself. I'm not saying everything was a bed of roses, but we all learned to live under the same roof amicably and life continued as it had done before. Darrell and I did keep ourselves to ourselves a lot more, but I believe deep down we already knew it was time to leave.

Things came to a head after an uncalled-for family intervention. This was an unnecessary interference into what was essentially a personal matter, problems that just needed to be ironed out and boundaries set. As is the case in many families, talking seems to take a back seat, as situations spiral out of control, everyone burying their head in the sand, hoping issues will just go away. Both Darrell and I are as guilty of that as anyone. Sometimes it takes an argument to brings things to the fore and make us realise there is more to life.

My Cousin Rachel is one of the most honest up front people you will ever meet and despite a rather heated exchange of views, both Darrell and I were glad things were said as they were. This was a row that all three of us would have sorted out, no matter what the outcome, and we just expected things to return to normal. Like best laid plans of mice and men, it didn't work out that way, and an unwarranted text from someone who had not even witnessed the argument, suggesting Darrell and I should consider our position in Portsmouth, finally put the nail in the coffin.

We both decided, after receiving the text, that it was time to go. When people start digging the knife in, without a thought for no one but themselves, let alone two people who had done nothing but help, we knew our time was up. For our own sanity and peace of mind, we had to leave. There was no point staying somewhere where neither of us were wanted. This was a sad ending to our time in Portsmouth, but it also gave us an insight into what some people are really like. When a leopard finally shows its spots and the abuse starts flowing, it is time to head for the hills and not look back.

I will forever be thankful to my Aunt for taking me in at a particularly difficult point in my life. I will also always love my Cousins Rachel and Joe and their respective extended families. However, when I look back, I suppose I was never really a part of their lives anyway; I lived very much on the side lines, and both Darrell and I were quite happy to go back to 'us against the World,' and avoid family ties altogether - it's how we work best.

Initially we just walked away from a situation that had become toxic, but after a chat with my Aunt we returned to see if we could repair the damage that had been done. Despite getting closer to my Cousin Joe, spending a memorable last few months with him, we just couldn't see a future in that house with my family, and we decided to return to Australia and give this place one last chance. This was not an easy decision to make, but as I watched the decline of Britain on the news, and my own personal issues bubbling away, the warning signs were there; I knew it was something we had to do.

I spoke to my employer, who was amazing and fully supported my decision to take a 'lifestyle break' for a year, leaving the option to return to my job on the table, should everything fail down under. I couldn't thank my Manager Sammy enough for all she did for me at that time. Without her, I would have just walked out of Tesco and been left high and dry in the worst of circumstances. Her advice and help ensured a smooth transition to a new life in Australia.

The last month in Britain was a double-edged sword. This was a time I cemented friendships in a way I hadn't before. I had so many leaving parties, I lost count of the number of times I said goodbye, but these were people who wanted to give us a memorable send-off and show just how much they cared. I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and many tears flowed over the weeks before we left. Many of those who waved us on our way have kept in contact and continue to wish us well. All of them made our departure that much harder, and there were times I really thought about staying, but pulled myself back from the brink and continued to strive for a better future in Perth.

The hardest person to leave behind was Jules, tears really did flow on my final day. After all the planning, arranging of flights, hotels and travel, nothing can prepare you for actually saying goodbye to someone close, akin to family. Jules will always be in my life, I will make sure of that. I video call him when I can and message him often. My life is a little darker without him in it, and I wish things had turned out differently and our friendship could have grown into something even more special than it already is. It wasn't meant to be, and I will keep the flame of friendship burning bright from the other side of the World. There will always be a special place in my heart for the best friend who kept me going in the worst of times; of course I will always have regrets, but I also have to look forwards to the future.

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We left Portsmouth on a rainy Saturday morning, after a series of emotional farewells. On that final day, Zerina turned up on the door step, just so she could wave us off. She did what others didn't, people who should have been there, and for that she will, like Jules, remain a friend for life. She also continues to phone, message and video call; as Darrell said to me, just the other day, she would have been his reason to stay. Zerina, along with Jules and my dear friend John, were the family we should have had, the people who truly loved us, and we loved back. You certainly can't choose your family, but you can evidently give it a damn good try!
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Sitting at the airport, waiting for our first flight to Croatia, I was able to reflect on my time in the UK. I had, and still have, a feeling I won't be back any time soon, definitely not to live again, and it was time to let go of the past. At great milestones in my life, I have always thought about the 'what if's' and 'buts.' Our almost knee-jerk reaction to up and leave, had brought home the nature of what we were doing, we were leaving Britain for good, saying farewell to friends for the last time, but happy to leave the crap behind. In a few hours we would be with loving family in Croatia, with people who we cared for deeply, far away from the pain we were leaving behind.

Our trip to Australia was always about saying au revoir. With the UK becoming a distant memory, it was now time to connect with our Croatian Cousins before continuing on to Thailand. Marin and Vlatka had been in our lives since 2008, when Darrell went to Croatia to see family for the first time. We continued to go there year after year, and had many special memories to take with us on our journey home to Oz.

It had been a few years since we last saw them, and we hugged just like it was yesterday. Spending ten days with them at their home in Makarska was a joy and made us realise what family was all about. We had had such a torrid time before we left, we forgot that there were people who actually loved us and within a few short hours of arriving, we were comfortably at home, looked after by people who only had our best interests at heart.

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Spending two weeks in Croatia was just what we both needed. We spent time visiting the Dalmatian Coast, relaxing in one of the many cafés and bars along the Makarska Riviera, gazing at the icy blue sea and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Vlatka and Marin prepared home cooked meals, and we sat talking to the early hours, catching up on family life in this beautiful Dalmatian town. I always feel like I am home when I am in Croatia, and this trip was no exception. This is a family like no other and the love they show is certainly unparalleled in my life; leaving is always the hardest part

Sitting outside a bar in Makarska, drinking a pint of Karlovacko, I heard murmurs from the tourists walking along the promenade. It had become apparent that HM Queen Elizabeth had died back home in Scotland. This amazing lady, the best public servant the UK has ever known, had quietly passed away, leaving a great gaping hole in all our lives.

My respect for the Queen goes back to my childhood, she is the only Monarch I have ever known. I became emotional, as I would if it had been a member of my own family. The Queen was the constant in my life, and she was now no longer there; words can not describe how upset I was.

I suppose in a way, it was quite poignant that she passed away as we were leaving the UK for a new life down under. An era was well and truly coming to an end, and her passing just reinforced the decision I made to leave. I was at least able to toast her passing, and made a promise to myself to watch the funeral from Thailand on the next leg of my journey.

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Leaving Croatia was a wrench, as it always has been, but the time we spent with family was invaluable. We promised not to leave it so long in future and both of us know our family ties are always a reason to return to Europe, as we will do as soon as we are able.

Flying back into London to catch our flight to Bangkok was a rather surreal experience. The death of The Queen was palpable. Walking through the terminal after our arrival, there were TV screens and poster boards everywhere highlighting Her Majesties 70 years on the throne. I had returned to a country in mourning and a very different Kingdom. There was a quiet calmness about the place, as people reflected on just what Elizabeth II meant to them, deep in thought, glazed expression and respectful repose.

I would have loved to have laid flowers in her honour, but with our connecting flight less than 24 hours away, I was lucky enough to have a friend do it for me. Little John was heading to London that day, I was supposed to meet him, but with delays, it had become impossible, and he put a bouquet down in green park from him and me; a gesture I will never forget. This is what friends are for, and that's what made leaving Britain so hard.

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Our two weeks in Bangkok were amazing, more than what we both expected. This was a city we both fell madly in love with, and a place we want to return to as soon as we are able. Bangkok is where modernity meets traditional Asian culture, sitting side by side, down every street, around every corner. There was so much to do and see, that we couldn't have possibly fit in everything we wanted to do. From the BTS Sky Train, Statue of The Golden Buddha and the many Royal Palaces, we weren't disappointed!

We spent the first part of our trip in the notorious Patpong district of the city, and this colourful area really did live up to its reputation. Patpong was an eye-opener in every respect, and we enjoyed some rather fun fuelled nights in the bars and restaurants down Silom Soi 4, where all the gay venues were situated.  This rather hedonistic introduction to Bangkok, left us aghast on more than one occasion, but I am certainly glad we ventured into the dark depths of the city, even for just a short while.

Here I was able to see The late Queen Elizabeth's funeral on my laptop. Sat in The Siam Heritage Hotel, surrounded by oriental splendour, I was able to pay my respects to Her late Majesty and remember with fondness, her legacy and significance for me. It did feel strange being away from the UK at this time, but then this was just the beginning of our new life and as I watched from afar, the penny finally dropped; in all probability we will never live in Britain again. Our life was firmly on track towards our new home in Australia.

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From Patpong and the Siam Heritage, we travelled across the city to Samsen Road, one of the oldest parts of the city. Here we settled into our luxurious hotel, where we enjoyed a more relaxing time. Close to all the major historical sites, we spent our time exploring this stunning part of Bangkok, visiting everything we could.

Darrell and I had firmly removed Britain from our thoughts, preferring to concentrate on the future. Travelling has always helped us forget some of the more difficult periods of our life, and this European/Asian adventure was the tonic we both needed. After several months of hell, we were now able to sit back and enjoy our favourite part of the World, free from pressure and stress, doom and gloom.

Surrounded by the beauty Bangkok offers, we immersed ourselves in the culture of a country that was so far removed from our own, yet strangely felt familiar and homely. This was a place where we both felt at ease, reassured and untroubled.

Opposite The Nuovo City Hotel, where we stayed, sat a small family run restaurant, 'So Samsen.' This became our go-to place and every evening we would go there for dinner. The food was exquisite, cooked by hostess Aom and her colleagues. Aom's credentials were impeccable, having helped set up a Michelin Star restaurant here in Perth, Western Australia, and at a reasonable price, we were able to taste the best of Thai food at a fraction of the price.

The ambiance was perfect; after each meal we sat looking out across the street where we were based, just chatting about the future, stroking the resident cat and soaking in the atmosphere. The girls, at So Samsen, would often sit and speak with us, adding to the friendly 'family' vibe. Both Darrell and I needed 'So Samsen' at that point in our journey, it reminded us, that there were good people out there, and a whole World to explore. I have never felt so secure somewhere in my life, and I know we were both reluctant to leave this pretty little restaurant behind. Its significance will remain a part of us always, as we continue our travels across the World.

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.... and so to Australia where we are today, preparing, hopefully, for the rest of our life together. This has unsurprisingly been the hardest part of our journey. When I left the UK five months ago, I never believed my life would be where it is today. Back then I thought I would get somewhere to live pretty quickly, settle down and continue doing the same job I did in the UK. However, nothing ever turns out the way you want it to. Australia has changed out of all proportion since I was last here in 1997 and the differences are clear to see.

Back in the late 90s, finding somewhere to live was easy, today nothing but. After the worldwide pandemic, property is few and far between, and we are still, after three months, living was Darrell's Mother. This has of course made life very difficult, and we are continuing to battle very much as we did in the UK. This is the worst part of life here in Perth; everything else, however, seems on the surface at least, to be going in our favour.

My application to remain in Australia is in and in a couple of days, on the 28th December, I will finally be 'legally illegal.' My 'Bridging Visa A' will be activated, and I can live and work here unhindered. So far so good, but one has to remember this is only a temporary visa, before my final Spouse or Permanent Resident Visa is issued at some point in the future. Nevertheless, all the fees and solicitor costs are now paid, and it is now a waiting game, to see if I am accepted or not.

I completed my medical assessment several weeks ago and this will either give me the green light to stay, or signal our departure towards pastures new yet again. The results I have received back so far are good, but the major one isn't back yet. As part of the process I had to undergo a chest X-ray and as an ex smoker for the last thirty years, I am hoping nothing too major is flagged up, but only time will tell if that is the case. Everything else is perfect and good to go, I just hope this final hurdle is crossed without too much difficulty.

I have also got a job, one of the first I applied for, and will be starting as a Senior Manager for a large corporation just ten minutes from where I live now. The pay is double what I was earning in Britain, and it looks like this could be the job that secures my future in Australia.

Also on a positive note, we should now be able to buy a property early in the new year. We have both built up substantial savings and with a dual income, we have been told we can borrow up to $500,000. This will allow us to finally have a place of our own, not waste money on rent, and finally, after 27 years together, settle into Australian life.

The decision to leave The UK was always about taking a chance at a new life and as reluctant as I have been in the past, I am glad I threw caution to the wind and grasped the opportunity with both hands. I suppose the last few months in Britain showed me I had nothing to stay for, except the few friends I had made, and of course my Father. These important people will always be in my life wherever I am, here in Australia or in the UK, they will always have a pivotal role to play.

At 51 years old, I am glad to have made a decision to restart and reboot my life and hope everything turns out for the best. Both of us are travellers at heart, so in the worst case scenario, we will just continue what we enjoy doing most and take off on another impromptu expedition, looking out for another place to settle. We only get one chance in this World, and as my Father said to me recently, before I left, I have to make the most of my time and go where my heart desires. Whether this is my final destination or not, is irrelevant, the fact is, we are doing what we love; the hope is of course that the outcome is favourable, and we can finally leave the past behind!

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Just One More Piece In The Jigsaw Left!

16/12/2022

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What a week it has been, I literally haven't stopped. My focus, for the most part, has been on getting a job, for when I am finally allowed to work on the 28th December. I have gone all out to achieve that goal in record time, hoping for the best, but anticipating the worst. The pessimist in me is still there, unshakable as ever. However, sometimes I can shake him off and do good things to achieve the unthinkable. This has certainly been a week of attainment, but like everything in our life, there has been an annoying sense of dread, as everything come hurtling down the track at once.

The week started on a high note; I had an interview with a lady called Elissa at 'Retail World Resourcing' in Perth. She had come across my CV on 'Indeed Australia' and said she could help me find a job. To be honest, I was expecting the same sort of position I had in the UK - working a checkout or a placement on the customer service desk of a large supermarket. However, being interviewed by Elissa on 'Google Meet,' I soon became aware that that wasn't what she had in mind.

My CV is long and varied, encompassing the time I lived in Spain and also in the UK. There are many different jobs highlighted, from my appointment as cook at Dunbar's Family Restaurant in Gran Alacant, teacher at a school in Elche, to working behind the bar at the Newcome Arms in Portsmouth and of course my much loved Customer Service role in Tesco Fratton. My lack of consistency would be a problem forging any semblance of a career in Australia, in my view, but nothing could have been further from the truth.

Elissa encouraged me to apply for three Management roles immediately, which she believed I would be suitable for. Within 24 hours, she had arranged an interview with a bedding and soft furnishing outlet, less than ten minutes from where I am living now. There were two positions available - Manager and Assistant Manager, salaries ranging from $40,000 - $61,000 + per annum. Naturally I assumed I would be interviewing for the Assistant Manager role, but I soon discovered, shortly after the interview began, that that wasn't the case, and they were looking for me to take on the position of Shop Manager.

Don't get me wrong, I have managed shops and businesses before, but I wasn't expecting to be a candidate for a large store manager, only a few months after arriving in Australia. The penny must have dropped whilst I was being interviewed by Jack from HR. Both of us got on like a house on fire. This was the first interview I felt really positive and at ease; he said he would contact me when he had made a decision about going forward to the next stage. In reality, I thought no more of it, not expecting to hear back, and got on with the rest of my day.

Shortly before 5pm that same day, Elissa contacted me to say Jack wanted me to attend a formal conversation with the Regional Manager, on Tuesday on Microsoft Teams. A little taken aback, I agreed and prepared myself for an interview I never really believed I would get.

Georgina was lovely and once again I felt positive throughout the hour-long process. Despite a slight technical glitch five minutes towards the end of the interview, everything went well, and I felt like I had at least achieved something. Practising for an interview is invaluable, and this would be a stepping stone towards others I had lined up in the future.

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The next day was Wednesday, the day I had arranged my medical at 'Bupa Visa Services' in Perth city centre. This was a make or break day, where I would find out if I could actually stay in Australia or not. Darrell was also off work, so we got the morning train to Perth, where we had a coffee and slice of cake at 'Dome' in St George's Terrace. Not sure if that was particularly wise, eating sugary cake before a medical, but I had waited so long for this day, I just didn't care and enjoyed every bit of it and the peppermint tea to boot.

At 11.45 I arrived at the clinic; they began by doing a chest X-ray, followed by blood and urine tests, for HIV and Diabetes and then a full check up by a Doctor, who poked and prodded me about, took my weight and height and asked me a number of probing questions. I was in and out within half an hour; all done and dusted for the princely sum of $500. Shocking for what they actually did, but this was the last piece in the jigsaw, for my application to remain in Australia and all part of the course. This whole process will have ended up costing me near on $20,000 by the end, whether I fail the medical or not. This is of course the only stumbling block to us settling in Australia. If I fail it, I am out, and we will have to leave. I won't know for a while whether I am home and dry or not. I just hope to God it is positive news for a change.



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Medical complete, Darrell and I headed to The Belgian Beer Café for a well-earned pint of Stella. Here we met Darrell's old school friend Dana, who was an absolute delight. It was great to talk to someone outside our rather close, small group of friends, who understands more than most, the difficulties we had experienced on our journey together. We don't often get the time to spend with other people, so it makes a pleasant change to listen to others perspectives on life. Dana said all the right things and made both of us feel content with our choices, who could really ask for more.

From The Belgian Beer Café, we headed to Durty Nelly's for a cheap Wednesday Sirloin Steak and chips, costing the equivalent of £9.00 a pop. That is amazing value, and it is always cooked to perfection, and tastes great. For me, sat in this little Irish bar, I am transported back to Europe; it is an oasis in the middle of a large city, where Darrell and I can unwind and relax. Topped off with an ice cream from London Court, and we had reached the end of a perfect sunny day in Perth; In less than 24 hours I would find out if I had the job or not. I wasn't holding out too much hope, but a little piece of me just dared to dream... What if?

Early Thursday morning, Elissa phoned. I held my breath, preying we would finally get some good news. She began by congratulating me on three perfect interviews, followed by -  the offer! Yes, the offer of a full time position, earning approximately $60,000 a year before enhancements and Superannuation on top. She mentioned a number of other benefits, but I was too busy dreaming to take it all in. I had actually got a position I wanted in a few days, with hard work and determination. If everything else works out, and I pass my medical, this would literally be the new start we both need and that last piece of the jigsaw would be within reach at last; I can nearly taste the freedom. Of course, nothing is over until the fat lady sings and the pessimist is still lurking large, but maybe, just maybe, we can start to live our life again!

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More Marmite(ish) products to add to my stash today. Only yesterday I was thinking about Twiglets, as you do, and how I really fancy a packet or two for Christmas. Well today, I ventured down the British isle in Coles to get some 'Our Mate' or Marmite for those living in the UK, and found my all-time favourite, go to snack of choice, Twiglets! They were pricey, but not that expensive, a little over $2.00 a packet, so not too bad and when I raid my piggy bank tomorrow, I shall be back to buy the lot. Christmases are made of these.

I also tried a Coles Vegemite Scroll; the next best thing when you can't find a Marmite spin off, is a Vegemite one, because they taste more or less the same. It tasted delicious, even though I can't abide Vegemite itself. For a poor old British expat like me, it is the perfect salty alternative and highly recommended if you are in Coles, Midland Gate.

Stay safe y'all!

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One Step Forward, Two Steps Back!

22/11/2022

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These last few days have been something of a rollercoaster, one minute we get some good news, the next nothing but. Sitting here today writing this blog, I have literally given up on predicting the future, because it is so bloody difficult at the moment.

After being told by The Commonwealth Bank that we could both get a mortgage, we decided to start looking for properties to buy. Within a few short days, we found a one bedroom unit not far from where we are now. The tiny house was small but perfectly formed, offering everything we needed and more. It was freshly decorated, had a sizeable garden and security shutters back and front. Situated in a small cul-de-sac of seven similar properties, well maintained and looked after, it would have been the perfect bolthole for us. When travelling, we could have just locked up and left, knowing the unit would be secure in our absence. To say I was quite excited would be an understatement; this was a home I wanted for us both, so we did our very best to secure it, without delay.

This was Sunday afternoon, but I duly emailed our Mortgage Advisor at the bank, and he said he would do some figure work for us when he returned from a Barbecue later that evening. In the meantime, the Real Estate Agent came over, and we made an offer of $229,000 on the property, after filling out pages and pages of paperwork. All going well, we should have been in within a few weeks - yes, that is how fast things are done here.

The next morning, I awoke with bad news; Darrell had not been in his job long enough to secure the Mortgage we wanted. He was told to submit payslips over the next few months, so they had more of an idea of his wages, and then they would think again, hopefully making us an offer for the full amount. This was not the answer we wanted, and we were both pretty deflated as we headed for a day out in Perth. Immediately we pulled out of the deal and will just have to wait a little longer before we find somewhere else to call home. In many respects it was our own wishful thinking that got us here, we were so focused on getting out of my Mothers-in-law's house, that we didn't really think about how long we had been back in Australia. It was after all only two months ago we were travelling around Thailand. The fact they offered us a Mortgage at all was a surprise. For now, we will just take one step at a time!


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It wasn't all bad news yesterday. While sitting on the train to Perth I received a message from my lawyer, who said my partner application had been lodged with the Government and I needed to pay the $8085.00 (£4511.43) fee to ensure the application would not have to be resubmitted. Yes, that was a shocking amount of money to lose in one day, but I was finally on the road to residency and within a year I should be able to call Australia home. It is great news everything has started to move in the right direction, despite the high costs involved.

Within a few weeks, I should hear about my medical examination and will have to spend yet money to have it done. I was also told I could apply for my Medicare Card straight away, which I did this morning, at Centrelink in Midland. I suppose I was expecting it to be hard, having dealt with the official side of Australia before, but it was actually straight forward. After booking in at the front desk, (oddly I had an active Centrelink account) I waited no more than ten minutes to be seen, by Darlene, who spent most of the appointment coughing her guts up, to my horror. With COVID on the rise here again, I just got on with it, what else can you do now. I asked if she was alright, to which she replied (I hope so), which didn't instil much confidence in me.

She took my details and immediately told me I already had a Medicare card, and I just needed to reactivate it. This card was from 1997 and my second trip down under. I couldn't actually believe how easy it was to reinstate it. After a lot of questions about my marital status, I was good to go with immediate effect. She duly wished me luck and politely asked me to return to the office once my bridging visa kicks in, so they could make 'everything permanent,' whatever that means. Anyway, by that time, I just wanted to leave; her coughing was just getting worse and worse and I thought it was best to take my leave, no matter how chatty and agreeable she was!

With my Tax File Number also being processed, and the Bridging Visa now activated, but remaining inactive until 28th December, I am hoping the process of getting a job will be more or less pain free. The biggest concern for me now is the impending medical. As someone who tends to suffer from health anxiety on occasion, I am understandably worried about the outcome. At my age they could find anything wrong, but the hope is, I've done enough to avoid any difficulties obtaining a visa on health grounds. Putting all worries aside, I hope to live a relatively normal life until my permanent residency is granted. Then I will have the freedom to leave and go as I please; I am counting down the days until this happens, after all, travel is my life. In the meantime, it's sit tight for now, keep my nose clean and follow the rules, to ensure my transition to Australian life is as trouble free as possible. I have done as much as I can to make sure that happens; the hard bit comes next!

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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
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