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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Christening and Crisis!

30/9/2019

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Yesterday was a day of mixed feelings; in the morning I attended the Christening of my Cousin Thomas, at St Patrick's Roman Catholic Church on Hayling Island. It was wonderful being a part of such a special occasion, attended by family and friends. In the past I have avoided such events, preferring to mark such milestones privately, keeping myself, very much to myself. In 2019 my life has changed much and I am now a part of our large, growing family, in a way I wasn't before.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish my Cousin Emmy, Partner Ben and their son Thomas, lots of love for the future. Thomas is a lovely young boy, who is always a joy to be around. With Ben's daughter Helena, their family is now complete!

Whilst driving to the church, I received a phone call from my Father; Mum had been rushed to Queen Alexandra Hospital in Portsmouth, after suffering from a massive heart attack, on top of everything else she has suffered in  life. I was left shattered and in a quandary about what I should do - go to the church or straight to the hospital. I chose to continue to the church and celebrate one of our families newest members before leaving for the hospital.

The service lasted two hours, after which we headed back to a local hotel. I spent fifteen minutes saying my goodbyes and left for QA Hospital. I was greeted by my Father and Brother, who I rarely see these days. As siblings my Brother and I never really got on and mine and his life went in very different directions. Neither of us are about to bite the bullet and forget the past, so we tend to just tolerate one another on such days. We were polite enough and along with my Father discussed Mum's failing health, as we have done many times before.

The Doctors kept us informed of Mum's situation from the moment I arrived. After the first chat with the consultant, we were under no illusion, that Mum's chances of survival were slim. She had suffered a big heart attack and they were fighting against the clock, doing everything they could to get her well. On arrival the A&E team tried to insert a stent into Mum's artery, without success. The vein was too furred up and as the Doctor said, it was like trying to drill through rock - impossible! We were assured they were doing as much as possible, to stabalise Mum and bring her blood pressure up to normal levels.

Mum was lucid and able to talk, although the strong painkillers kept kicking in intermittently and Mum would drift in and out of consciousness. We were all aware of the amount of pain Mum was in, although unsure why. I have never seen Mum suffer so much. Normally she has a very high pain threshold. After years of injecting insulin and three limb amputations, there isn't a lot Mum hasn't experienced, but somehow this discomfort was worse than any of the above. It was upsetting for all of us, seeing Mother in this state, but we know just what a fighter and battler she is and if anyone can overcome adversity, she can.

After spending four hours with Mum, I left for home, phoning my Aunt and Uncle to let them know of the situation and explained that the Doctor in charge had expressed his concern at the gravity of the situation she was facing. All of us were unsure why Mum was in so much agony, but it certainly didn't sound good and we were all expecting the worse.

Today I have been in constant contact with my Father and the hospital. Mum's health continues to suffer and the prognosis has changed from positive, to grave and as I write a little more positive again. It seems the heart attack has caused a lot of damage internally  that the Doctors are trying to reverse, but the heart itself seems to be recovering well and working as it should. The messages and health updates have been rather confused at times, but we know Mum is in safe hands and the wonderful Cardiac team at Queen Alexandra Hospital are working hard to save Mum's life!
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24 Years together - Battles Fought, Lost and Won!

27/9/2019

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On the 22 September, Darrell and I reached another milestone in our relationship. Sunday marked our 24th Anniversary; another year had passed and although our situation is not ideal, we are still very committed and happy, looking forward to our Silver Anniversary next year. As usual, we received many messages from friends and family, in support of our relationship that has stood the test of time, experiencing the ups and downs all of us endure as we forge a path together. Our 24 years together was yet another vindication of our love and of a partnership that wasn’t always accepted by others.

Of course Darrell and I got together in a very different age. Our relationship wasn’t recognised in law and we spent many years travelling between Darrell’s home in Australia and my home in the UK, in order to be allowed to stay together. It wasn’t until the Government changed in Britain, in 1997, that our life finally began to evolve for the better, The new British Government finally accepted our same sex relationship and we were allowed to settle in the UK.

In 1998 we had a ‘Rite of Blessing’ carried out by a Church of England priest at the Quaker Hall in Southampton, cementing our love for one another in the company of friends and family. At the time, there was no mechanism in law to register or record our partnership and the ‘Rite of Blessing’ was the best alternative under the circumstances. We used the occasion to express our frustration and annoyance at not being allowed legal status, as well as showing others that our love was as valid as any other relationship, gay or straight.

It was another two years before Darrell was granted Indefinite Leave to Remain and we could really begin our life with each other, five years after we met. The legal battles in court and at the Home Office had taken its toll on us both and with the threat of deportation lifted, we could at least look forward to a brighter future. It would be many more years before we could achieve equal status with our straight friends and neighbours, but we could at least live unhindered, unrestrained from draconian laws that were designed to keep us apart.

In 2015 twenty years after we met, we were married in Southampton. We were finally allowed equal Marriage rights and able to celebrate our association with one another; a mile stone we had been looking forward to since the day we met. Up until this point we had rarely spent anytime apart, always fighting hard to stay together, even in the face of adversity, but things were about to change as we both made the leap to a new life, living in Spain, after a traumatic time in the UK. What was supposed to be a new start, turned into yet more trouble, hardship and misfortune, as both of us navigated a system we knew nothing about, doing our best to remain steadfast as a couple.

Our three years in Spain and the year and a half years since has been marred by family illness, the loss of our home and more positively, a reconnection with loved ones. Since 2015, Darrell and I have spent more time living apart, caring for our respective Mothers, than we did in the previous twenty years. As we grew older, so have our families and with my roots firmly in the UK and Darrell’s in Australia, we both made the conscious decision to return to our countries of birth and be with those closest at this difficult time. Darrell remains in Perth, caring for his Mum, during her final months dealing with cancer and I am home, living with my Aunt, close to my Mother as she learns to deal with her disablement. Eventually we will come back together again, when our lives allow us to and our circumstances change for the better!

A big thank you to everyone for their kind messages of support on the occasion of our 24th anniversary. Without all of you, life would have been far more difficult than it has been. Darrell and I look forward to many more years together, whether here or abroad and hope to finally be able to spend the rest of our days, happy and content, surrounded by those closest, satisfied in the knowledge that we remain committed and content together, after a generation of battles are finally laid to rest!

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Asian Adventure - Angkor Wat, 13 May 2019!

25/9/2019

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'Nary, our host at breakfast is a delight, although the language barrier brings its own challenges, she is accommodating and charming. Tomorrow, my Aunt and I hope to get our eggs cooked, just the way we want them!'

Sat on the veranda of this French colonial hotel, fan oscillating gently, in the morning breeze, I am struck by the faded grandeur that surrounds me. The breakfast room, to the left of our table, is richly decorated and beautifully presented. Like Nary all the staff are well dressed and very attentive, everyone doing their best to speak English and make us feel comfortable, as we sip our fresh orange juice and eat our Cambodian breakfast.  Sitting in this hotel I feel relaxed, chilling in a setting perfect for enjoying some much needed 'me time,' concentrating on nothing more than the tropical gardens surrounding this stunning hotel!

At 9am my Aunt and I met Thomas, our tuk tuk driver from yesterday, a few yards down the road from our hotel. He was taking us to one of the greatest wonders of the World, Angkor Wat. According to Thomas, there are nearly three hundred temples in the complex and it would be impossible to see all of them in one day. This 12th century Cambodian landmark, was the reason my Aunt and I chose to come to Cambodia and it was something I was looking forward to seeing.

At at cost of $37 US, the day pass isn't cheap, but as anyone who has been to Angkor Wat knows, this is the highlight of any visit. These amazing religious monoliths, magnificent in their majesty are a testimony to mans ingenuity and ability to create the impossible. To be honest I really didn't know what to expect; photographs and videos from the internet never really do justice to places like this, so I was anticipating something spectacular and I wasn't disappointed!


The first and largest temple we visited called 'Angkor Wat' was truly awe inspiring. I have never seen anything like it, it was a deeply humbling experience. As we drove up to the entrance we were greeted by thousands and thousands of people, all heading towards a long temporary  pier like structure connecting us with this Hindu, now Buddhist monument. This first temple is situated in the middle of a large man made lake, surrounded by water. The usual walkway is no longer accessible, having been closed due to crumbling stone, no longer fit for purpose and we joined the long queue of pilgrims, all heading towards the walls of this building and the inner sanctum beyond.


The heat of the day was scorching, as we walked through the tall archway and the buildings inside. We were welcomed by open grounds, trees, vegetation and the wonderful symmetrical facade of the main temple itself. Dotted around were smaller, but no less magnificent stone buildings, surrounded by crowds trying to get the best picture. Unable to appreciate their full beauty, because of the sheer numbers of people, we joined the long line of visitors heading to the religious heart of the complex.


The architecture contained within the interior fabric of the Khmer temple was astonishing, bewildering and surprising. I remember looking up towards the sky, the structure shimmering around me, tall, powerful and a statement to the religion it was built to celebrate. Everywhere one looked, one was bombarded by the might of what is the biggest religious complex in the World. I was witnessing history, touching stone nearly a thousand years old and for the most part left open mouthed at the resplendence around me. I had never seen anything so glorious before and would remember this day for the rest of my life!


In every corner and alcove devout buddhists celebrated their faith. Walking back through the temple itself we were welcomed by icons and statues dressed in traditional clothing, offerings of food at their feet, incense burning sweetly and prayers being said. A buddhist monk knelt down, surrounded by a congregation and quietly chanted in an atmosphere that I can only describe as emotional, touching and poignant.

As we left the confines of the chambers inside Angkor Wat, walking outside, I was overcome with the heat that was growing stronger by the minute. Looking at my phone, a warm 36 degrees was recorded and I was left with a little message, from my modern day app, in this ancient place, telling me to keep hydrated. Both of us headed towards some temporary stalls, where water was being sold and consumed as much as we could. My Aunt was feeling a little disorientated as was I, but taking a look back over my shoulder, I was  reverential in my appreciation for this deeply moving place.


We continued on our journey with Thomas in his tuk tuk. There were ancient symbols everywhere, too many to mention. Monuments at the side of the road, one after the other. We stopped briefly to take in the sites. Locals and visitors feeding monkeys sat in trees, a small child with his head bowed low, in front of a statue and tourists eating a packed lunch, sat on the banks of the moat. Angkor Wat is a deeply ingrained part of Cambodian culture, so much so,  that the subjects of this kingdom are proud of its symbolism. The fact this temple complex is pictured on the national flag, is testimony to the importance of its place in Cambodian society and tradition and rightly so!

We continued towards the West gate and Elephant Terrace, with ornate carvings and elephants passing slowly by, then onward to the famous  Ta Prohm at Angkor Thom, used in the filming of 'Tomb Raider.'  This was a part of Angkor Wat I was looking forward to seeing and was delighted to experience it first hand. There was however a touch of disappointment in this most famous of buildings. It was terribly run down, crumbling stone pillars strewn across the grounds and a feeling of decline and decay everywhere one looked. I felt sad at the scene before me and hoped that this dereliction could be reversed.

After a photo opportunity outside the most famous building at Ta Prohm, we left for Siem Reap. As we departed I felt reassured by  sign posts placed around this famous temple, noting impending reconstruction and restoration. It is important that Ta Prohm is preserved for future generations, so they can enjoy the wonders that I witnessed today!


Thomas charged us $30 US for the trip to Angkor Wat and we tipped him $10 US on top. He was rather pushy for want of a better word, trying to get us to go on another trip with him the next day. Like all tuk tuk drivers, he has a family to feed, needing the work during the less lucrative spring months. We told him we would not be using him the day after which he took rather personally as we found out the next day. I would choose your tour guide wisely and don't give in to unreasonable demands for sympathy. Thomas was a great driver, but he wasn't the person we thought he was.

Our four hour expedition to the temples was exhausting, the weather was hot and we were glad to be heading back to our hotel. The only downside to this trip was the amount of people at Angkor Wat, it did ruin the experience in many respects. However as we later discovered, this was a national holiday, all part of the King of Cambodia's Birthday and there were a lot more people out and about than usual. Angkor Wat was unforgettable; this would be a place I would love to visit again one day, until then, I do at least have the memories to take with me!

We had a delicious lunch at Viva, near Pub Street, a Khmer and Mexican restaurant -  The food was delicious. As I sat there looking across the street, I saw a rather large black rat, sitting at the crossing waiting for the cars to stop, before crossing. This was an intelligent rat, who clearly knew his way around the streets of Siem Reap and a reminder that we were in a country far removed from home. Keeping our wits about us, was essential; any slip up, eating in the wrong place or using the local public conveniences could have cost us dear; luckily we followed the rules!


In the evening we headed back to Pub Street, sitting in the now vibrant district having a few beers, dodging kamikaze insects. Pub Street was alive with tourists and locals selling spiders and snakes, deep fried on sticks. After deliberating for a bit, we decided against trying the local delicacy. This was one side of Cambodia I wanted to avoid. According to the street vendor they tasted like peanuts with a similar texture; this just put me off even more. Even the poor woman in this photo looks distressed at what she is about to eat and who can blame her. For Cambodians however, this is good honest street food, full of protein and part of the Cambodian diet, especially with meat being so expensive....Who am I to judge!

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....and finally, to end another amazing day a trip to Miss Wongs, a local gay venue in the centre of Siem Reap. I had read about this restaurant and bar in a guide before we travelled and was aware of more or less where it was; after half hour or so we found this stunning sophisticated locale. The decor, although rather garish oozed elegance and refinement. Plush leather seats, rich red coloured walls, gold leaf and chandeliers adorned this small select location. I felt at home, sat looking through the doors, towards the street outside, drinking a Miss Wong Punch and nibbling on some Cambodian noodles. This was my kind of place, a little more expensive than Pub Street, but so much more relaxed and polished, a great 'mise en scène' to end our day!
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Happy Places!

19/9/2019

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I have suffered with anxiety and depression for many years, which I cope with remarkably well these days. When people look at you, they don't really see the full story. On the surface I am a happy, cheerful and accommodating person, deep down, I am nothing but. Those who are closest to me, understand the difficulties I go through, but unless you live in my body, you will never fully appreciate the depression that makes me who I am.

There are many reasons why I have depression, many of which have been discussed in this and other blogs I have written, but the biggest factor in why I am the individual I am, is really my sexuality. I never used to like who I was; as a child growing up gay, I was always aware of my differences and realised I was different from most of my peers, consequently, I have always found friendships difficult, afraid that being gay would influence others views of me. For most of my childhood, I kept myself, very much to myself and led a very insular life as a result. When you are hiding a secret, the last thing you want is people knowing who you really are.

Depression brought about from bullying, loneliness and an inability to be myself dominated my life for years and the truth is I have never really recovered from it, still experiencing depressive episodes today. I have however learnt to cope with dark moods and outwardly you would never see the cloud that hovers above me.

For the first time in my life, I am actually doing what I want to do and not what others expect of me. Importantly, I don't have just one job, I actually have three, this way I find each day is different and I don't ever feel unfulfilled. Working in a supermarket, behind a bar and volunteering, together give me a sense of satisfaction, that I have never felt before. These positions bring out contrasting sides of my personality and I am able to enjoy each day, knowing that tomorrow will be different. If I am not working, I am blogging and writing, which also allows me to concentrate on myself, my lonely side, the selfish, self indulgent part of my personality, that details my inner thoughts and feelings, the side of me that people read about each day in this blog. Blogging is the most positive aspect of my life, but it isn't something I could do everyday. Being wrapped up in ones own sense of self importance is a sure way to detach oneself from the reality of life. I have been there before and suffered as a result.

Of course the happiest places are those spent with other people. At Cancer Research I am surrounded by friends. Everyone I work with in Commercial Road are now close and I hold them in the highest regard. These benevolent people have given me a sense of purpose in my endeavours, witnessing the best side of human nature. Their advice and conversation has got me through some very testing times over the last year and a half and without them I could well have sunk to new lows.

Equally colleagues and customers at The Newcome have also become close comrades and people I enjoy spending time with. The evening I work behind the bar in this backstreet pub, are always enjoyable and something I look forward to. People often turn round to me and ask 'why do you work so damn hard, why don't you just take a step back and relax a bit more?' The only answer I can give, is because I am genuinely happy with my lot in life and that is all that matters. I spent far too long in the past dealing with episodes of depression; now I have learnt to deal with it, I am going to make the most of however long I have left!

My life really hasn't been easy or conventional. I have had to deal with a lot of emotional stress which has taken a massive toll on my physical well-being. Many of the ailments I have today are  a direct result of the disadvantages I endured in the past. I was part of the last generation of homosexuals to be discriminated against for being who they were and this was a major stumbling block in coping with life. Happiness and contentment, not money and prestige are the most important factors when determining my direction now. Doing things that allow me to finally be the person I want to be is worth all the tea in China. Growing up feeling abandoned by society is hard, but I am pleased I have finally found a way to deal with the demons of the past and am at last enjoying the life I should have had!
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Urgent Appeal For Help - Katie Stewardson, Floods in Spain!

15/9/2019

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I am making an urgent appeal for my friend Katie Stewardson. I met Katie while living in Spain. Katie became a close friend and has even written for Roaming Brit. A few days ago Katie and her family, including her two week old son Sebastián were evacuated from their Southern Spanish home, after their property flooded along with thousands of others in the region. Katie is now trying to raise money for the local community who have lost everything, trying to ensure animals and livestock are re-homed and looked after, following the worst storms to hit Spain in a century. Katie has asked me to advertise this plea for help, so she and other victims can start to rebuild their lives!

Please click on the 'Go Fund Me' picture below, to take you to her appeal!

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"Our farm was hit bad by the flooding of the 'south eastern Spanish gota fria.' Paddocks are flooded and sheds are destroyed, the kennels for the dogs are non existent and they have no shelter. We are not the only ones affected .

We are fundrasing to build new kennels for the dogs and new shelters for the goats at our finca. We are also fundraising for other fincas and shelters in the same mess as us.

Dog food to buy. Beds etc

Please help if you can, every little counts to remaking homes for the animals."


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Asian Adventure - Exploring Siem Reap, 12 May 2019!

12/9/2019

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La Rivière d' Angkor Resort

After our late arrival from South Korea last night, I was expecting a bit of a lie in this morning - No such luck. My body clock decided to wake me up bright an early, after a fantastic nights sleep in the most comfy of beds. The mosquito nets worked a treat, I didn't get bitten once and there were no large spiders crawling across my face, who could ask for more. I could hear the birds singing in the tropical gardens of the hotel outside and a few unusual wildlife sounds downstairs, Not noises I had heard before, but all part of the excitement of exploring a new country.

I checked the bathroom thoroughly for snakes and insects that could have been lurking under toilet seats or in shower heads, then  had a rather relaxing soak in the large granite bath. The water was warm and inviting and the tranquil setting perfect. This was the first bath I had had since leaving the UK and was going to make the most of it; after all the walking over the last few weeks, it was just what I needed. Sadly I was unable to remove the plug from the bath after jamming it in the hole a little too hard; a job for reception!!

My Aunt and I made our way downstairs and outside where we had a brief chat with the receptionist, who said they would come and fix the bath while we were at breakfast, which was a short walk around the pool and into the restaurant. The atmosphere was distinctly colonial, sitting on the veranda tucking into a traditional 'English' affair with a slight Cambodian touch. The staff were attentive and extremely gracious, catering for our every need; this was most certainly five star luxury at its best! As I sat there taking in the surroundings, I was struck by the intense heat, so different to where we had been before and the gecko's adorning the walls!

We made our way back to the room, to grab our bags for the day ahead and bumped into a Cambodian bobtail cat, feeding her kittens outside one of the hotel rooms. This made the hotel even more special. As a cat lover, I am always happy to have our feline friends close, they were a warming addition to our stay at La Rivière d' Angkor Resort.



Buddhist Retreat
Leaving the compound of the hotel, we were greeted by a busy, somewhat chaotic scene. Traffic, bikes, tuk tuk's and locals on foot, heading in all directions. In front of the resort, a large river, flowing through the city of Siem Reap. Families with children, the occasional tourist and others, all enjoying the morning heat, which by now, at 9am had already reached thirty degrees.

We turned right and began to walk up the road, not knowing where we were heading, but just taking in the sites, smells and sounds of the beautiful place. I was in awe of this historic paradise but a little apprehensive of what we might find around each corner. As we sauntered gently towards what we believed to be the centre of town, we were approached by a tuk tuk driver called Thomas, who followed us up the road, trying to persuade us to take a tour of the city. Saying no to a tuk tuk driver is near impossible, but we persisted, until we passed a Buddhist retreat and went inside, followed by Thomas, who parked up, as we walked eagerly around.

This complex was a fusion of colour, unbelievable architecture and a hive of activity. Men, wearing  traditional Buddhist attire, cleaning, sweeping and feeding animals, cats and dogs alike. Small children running around, amusing themselves as best they could and large cauldrons of food, gently simmering over fires, outside run down ramshackled dwellings, hidden behind trees and bushes, creating a little modesty for those who lived inside.  A stray kitten, who looked terribly ill, started to follow me as I walked around the dusty courtyards, meowing helplessly, yet there was nothing I could do. It is so upsetting seeing how animals are treated in Cambodia and other Asian countries, but as I was told, these are poor people who can barely look after themselves, let alone feed animals. All I could do was spend a few moments, taking time to talk gently to this poor creature, hoping it wouldn't be too long, before he or she passed quietly away. This is the side of Asia, I will never get used to.



Royal Palace - Siem Reap
Thomas was waiting for us, as we left the retreat and we both decided to take a tour of Siem Reap in his tuk tuk; it was easier, than trying to avoid him and the other drivers, all vying for the lucrative tourist market. We agreed a price of twenty American dollars for the journey and set off to our first destination. Everything in Cambodia is paid for in dollars. Local currency fluctuations are so great, that the stable US green back is the best way to pay for goods and services. All major banks supply dollars and ATM's are stocked also. It did seem a rather odd practice to me, but Cambodia functions perfectly well and certainly doesn't seem to be at any disadvantage as a consequence.

Driving along the busy, tumultuous streets, dodging cars and other tuk tuks, we eventually reached at our first destination - The Royal Palace. We had arrived during celebrations for the King of Cambodia's Birthday and the roads and buildings were highly decorated in homage to His Majesty. It was a public holiday and there were people everywhere as we took a leisurely walk around the Royal enclosure and temples, as well as the many stalls selling everything from live turtles and birds to tropical fresh fruit and vegetables. The subjects of this deeply Conservative nation, were dressed accordingly, not a pair of shorts in sight. Many lit candles at the temple opposite the palace, offering a prayer for those they had lost and others waited patiently in queues for their turn to enter the Kings estate. This was a spectacle to behold, not an angry voice in site, everyone just happy to be together, celebrating their beloved Kings Birthday.



The Killing Fields - Siem Reap
Our next stop was the Siem Reap Killing fields, where many people lost their lives under the regime of Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge between 1975-79. This was a deeply moving place, where religious icons and statues nestled quietly, next to the graves, skulls and remains of those who died. As one walked around, one was struck by the silence and run down nature of this eerie, chilling place. Buddhist monks gently bowed their heads as one walked past and more feral bobtail cats and stray dogs fought for their place in the hierarchy of this monument to the evil. Once again I was left rather empty by our visit; something we had to do, but a part of Cambodian recent history that is difficult to comprehend!


Local Handicrafts
During out tour of Siem Reap, Thomas took us to many local handicraft establishments, where we could buy local souvenirs to take home. The photographs above show one such workshop, where disabled veterans from the war with the Khmer Rough, quietly sit, producing some truly wonderful works of art. Of course like many of the studios we visited, the items were terribly overpriced and it was doubtful these people received much recompense for all their hard work. I bought a few items of interest and left, feeling a little sad that this was the only way these poor disabled workers could make a few dollars.

Until you visit a place like Cambodia, you really have no idea how others live and have to survive, without the luxuries we have here in the west. Thomas took us to these small shops because he was able to then fund his own business driving a tuk tuk, given money for fuel by the owners for taking tourists, like my Aunt and I, to their businesses; a very different World and unforgiving place to survive.


War Memorial
Finally Thomas took us to the Siem Reap War Memorial. Another strangely poignant place, bringing Cambodia's tainted past to life. A few moments contemplation, surrounded by the names of the fallen, brought to an end an eye opening first day in the city, before we hit the town for a few drinks at the famous Pub Street!


Pub Street
Thomas dropped us off at the hotel, where we spent an hour freshening up before heading to the notorious Pub Street in the heart of the City. As the name suggests, this is an area full of bars and clubs, cheap drinks and food in a vibrant, characterful environment. The place was teaming with tourists, backpackers and what I can only describe as alternative types, all enjoying the last of the sun, before the evening crowds took over.

My Aunt and I had a few beers in a local bar, costing a rather agreeable fifty cents. Sitting there I was amazed by the sites and sounds around me, experiences I had never seen before. Snakes in glass cases sold for food, Crocodile burgers across the road and various insects on sticks, deep fried ready to be eaten. The smell of the streets could be rather overpowering at times, with raw sewage and rats commonplace, but it really didn't matter on the scale of things, this is what gave Siem Reap its magical third World charm.

In the evening we gate crashed a Gay Pride Celebration in a nearby hotel, a rather constrained affair, not something I was used to! Sat drinking beers on the tropical roof terrace of this palatial building, surrounded by the great and good of Siem Reaps gay community, mainly consisting of older white men and young Cambodian boys, both my Aunt and I felt rather out of place and left early. Tomorrow was going to be another long day; it was time to get some sleep!

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9/11 - The Day We Left Innocence Behind!

11/9/2019

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The sun was streaming through the café window, as I finished making the last of the sandwiches for the afternoon rush. I walked over to the tables at the front, overlooking the forecourt and straightened the plastic chequered tablecloths, wiping down the surfaces with a damp tea towel and clearing the last of the breakfast plates. I looked out of the large expanse of glass; the petrol pumps at the garage were beginning to fill, with busy customers heading into Salisbury. Monika, the lady who lived in the bungalow next door, walked sternly past, waving briefly as she saw my face. I smiled, courteously as ever, giving a customary salute, as I always did when I saw her. Tables, finally tip-top and Bristol fashion, I popped into the garage, just to make sure everything was alright. Darrell was on the console, chatting to Mr Green from the village, who was pointing out an article in the Salisbury Journal, which made them both laugh out loud. I caught Darrell's eye, who gave me the thumbs up, all was well, so I headed back into the café!

It was time to do the washing up, which was by now piled high on the draining board. After making fifty sandwiches, I was feeling a little tired to say the least. I took a Coke from the fridge behind the counter and gulped down the contents in one, without even stopping. After wiping my mouth clean with some kitchen towel, I filled the sink with hot water; marigolds on, I started to wash the plates!

The television was on in the corner of the diner, just above the comfy couches, used by customers to drink their coffee, relaxing, watching a spot of TV before they continued on their journey. The Pitstop Café was a stopping point for motorists heading to and from Salisbury on the busy A36. We were very much a part of  local village life, a tiny cog in the fabric of Brickworth, a  hamlet on the Hampshire/Wiltshire boarder. A small family enterprise, Darrell and I enjoyed being part of the local community. This was a happy, industrious time for us and we both enjoyed the relative peace and quiet, running a business in a setting we appreciated! Our comfortable existence, was about to be disrupted by events, that neither of us could have foreseen.

It was getting on for 1pm when a news flash interrupted normal viewing on the TV. Hands wet, I heard the announcement on BBC1 and turned around, shaking the soap suds from my rubber gloves as I watched the unfolding drama, playing out before my eyes. A plane had hit one of the World Trade Centre buildings in New York, smoke was bellowing upwards as flames illuminated the gaping chasm on the side of the building. I took my gloves off and walked over to the TV set, sitting down, eyes glued to what was going on. It must have been a plane crash, how awful for everyone involved, what a terrible thing to happen.

Shortly afterwards, a second plane crashed headlong into the other tower, a plume of debris filled the air; this was no ordinary accident, this was clearly an orchestrated attack. I sat there in horror, watching a travesty of monumental proportions develop. Shocked at what was going on in New York, feeling emotional, I walked over to the entrance to the café and cordoned it off. There was just one customer having a cup of tea, and we both watched silently as the minutes passed.

Darrell walked into the Café, asking what was going on; I just pointed to the television! Standing there briefly, transfixed, he turned quietly, heading back into the shop. I could hear the customers discussing events in America, several popped their heads around the door, watching for a few moments, aghast, in disbelief, looking on in horror unable to comprehend the pictures on the screen.  After a brief conversation  the single  customer left; not a regular, but a businessman passing through, lingering a little longer than he would have done. He patted me on the back, 'I'll always remember this day!' he said, waving goodbye as he left. No words crossed my lips as I acknowledged his departure, nodding my head ever so slightly! My mind was elsewhere, as my anxiety increased, realising New York was under attack!

Half an hour later, a plane crashed into The Pentagon and The White House was evacuated. The news was coming in thick and fast, more and more unbelievable each time. Then, just as I got up to use the toilet, the South Tower collapsed live on television; immediately I sat back down. Newscasters, reporters, and cameramen looked shell shocked as the circumstances of these attacks became clear; a few moments later, another hijacked plane crashed into a field on route to Washington. This was a day like no other. As a viewer looking in, I sat there and shed a tear. People trapped in burning skyscrapers waving whatever they could, trying to attract the attention of the emergency services. Others jumping from top floor windows, trying to escape the flames, falling to their deaths and great clouds of smoke engulfing city streets, as both towers finally collapsed.

I must have watched the television for hours, far into the night, as the full gravity of what I had just witnessed hit home. These were events that would shape not only my life but everyone else's, even today in 2019. The ramifications of 9/11 were wide and enduring; war, terrorist attacks, violence, and death became common place, frequently emblazoned across our TV screens, most of us by now immune to the destruction that had become an almost daily occurrence. 9/11 was the beginning of a new World, which left innocence behind. Over three thousand lives were  lost during and after the attacks and like many others I remember that Tuesday with consternation. This was the day I realised just what humans can do to one another, without a care for the lives they expelled. This was the day, I finally woke up and became aware of man's inhumanity to man!


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Back In The Fold!

9/9/2019

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It was back to the Cancer Research fold today, after a few weeks break. Not only have I been busy, working everyday for over a fortnight, but I have had a few personal issues to sort out. It really felt good to be back with the gang, even though I did find it hard.

Let me explain...

...On Thursday I was put on beta blockers, a drug that slows your heart rate down. As a person, I have always suffered with anxiety, nothing major, but enough of an issue to see my Doctor about. On top of this, I have had some blood pressure and heart issues, culminating in a rather high heart rate of 198 beats per minute. After explaining my concerns to my GP, she suggested taking beta blockers, they not only slow your heart down but also help deal with the physical symptoms of anxiety. Well I duly followed her advice and started a course of Propranolol on Thursday; 40 mg up to three times a day, hoping to at least start dealing with the concerns I currently have.

I have been in a little bit of a daze since taking these pills and have found adjusting to them rather difficult, but understand it is important to carry on taking the medication. Today with my heart rate down to 55 beats a minute, I made my way to Cancer Research to begin a few hours work, hoping to overcome the side effects I am suffering. Being around Zerina and everyone who work there is always a tonic and I got through the day remarkably well, despite feeling lightheaded and rather unsteady at times. I have reduced the dose of Propranolol I am taking, from 40mg to 10mg, hoping to gradually increase the level administered over the next few weeks. I really am not enjoying the ghastly aftermath these tablets are causing, but am sure it will change in time.

Interestingly another volunteer was able to reassure me about beta blockers, explaining his difficulties using them himself, allowing me to breath a sigh of relief somewhat, understanding more about just how this medication works. For a time this morning I was concerned my heart was beating far too slowly, but believe this is all part of the initial stages of 'bedding in,' as my body gets used to its new regime. The advice I was given today has lifted my mood and allowed me to look forward positively, trying to focus on the bigger picture, rather than panicking about the side effects.

Being around the team at Cancer Research was a joy this Monday, lifting ones spirits at an onerous time; enjoying the company of friends, dressing up and in lighthearted mood, I was able to put my problems on the back burner. Laughter is the biggest medicine of all, better than all the beta blockers in the World, so it's the most important time of the week for me, a time that I will always cherish fondly, making money for good causes, memories for today and affording meaning where there was none; there's no better pay packet than that!
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Congratulations To The Stewardsons!

5/9/2019

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I would like to wish two fantastic friends, Katie and Andy Stewardson, huge congratulations on the birth of their new baby son Sebastián, born on 28th August 2019. It has been a while since I saw these two, but they are both very much in my thoughts as I write this entry today!

Katie, husband Andy and their little daughter Lexi, became close, during mine and Darrell's time living in Gran Alacant, especially Katie and I. Both our husbands were away quite a lot during the time I lived here, consequently Katie and I became inseparable and enjoyed a fruitful friendship, despite the ups and downs of Spanish life.

Andy and Katie have found happiness and prosperity in Spain and now enjoy a productive and vigorous life, living in the country they love. Sebastián will be brought up alongside his Spanish peers and will become part of continental life, in a way many of us can only dream of. I hope to return to Spain one day soon and rekindle our friendship by starting where we left off. Whether or not Darrell and I decide to live there long term, as we did three years ago is anyone's guess, but in the meantime we are delighted to observe from the sidelines, watching this family grow and flourish in their new chosen home!

As Brexit turmoil continues to engulf British sensibility, it is heartwarming to see young people taking the plunge and forging a new life abroad. Whether you support Britain's withdrawal from the EU or want to remain, all of us should agree that our destiny lies at the heart of Europe. It would be a travesty if future generations were stopped from moving to pastures new because of policies that are designed to isolate Britain from the rest of the World. Katie and Andy are an example to us all, in how we can proliferate in new, untested, untried corners of the globe!

Congratulations to you all!
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Life On The Ocean Waves!

2/9/2019

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On Sunday I made the short trip to Southsea Marina to have a look at a small yacht. I had been speaking to a colleague at work, someone I always call Mrs M, (so will continue to do so, for the purpose of this entry) and discovered her interest in boating; something I had never considered myself, but a way of life that really interests me and she invited me along to have a look at a boat that is currently for sale.

In reality, I know nothing about boats, but the sea and sailing is certainly in my blood. My Grandfather was a Merchant Seaman, my Uncle was in the Navy and coming from the South Coast of England, you can’t help but have an interest in all things nautical. I felt completely at home visiting this beautiful marina, with fantastic facilities, lovely views and well maintained piers and was really taken aback by this little boat; it would be an ideal second home for Darrell and I.

Not only do I no nothing about boats, but I can’t even swim - ‘You must be bloody mad!’ I here you cry and maybe I am, but I have got to an age in my life, where I want to do something different. Moving to Spain was part of that ‘doing something different’ process and it didn’t work out, but that doesn’t mean I should just give up and do nothing. I can learn to swim and sail, it can’t be that difficult, or I could just keep the yacht moored, visiting it on weekends as a sort of retreat; a place to relax, unwind and write!

The boat is small – Entering the cabin, there are two upholstered benches, various items of boating equipment and a television set. There is a small kitchen, opposite is a toilet and finally a bedroom with double bed. It wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but I absolutely loved it, instantly falling in love, which is normally a bad sign for me, but this time, I have my feet firmly on the ground and not in the clouds.

I spent a lovely afternoon chatting about life living on a boat and the pros and cons of surviving in such a confined space, but at the end of it all, I was more in love with this yacht than ever. A few beers in the Marina restaurant, a walk around this peaceful location and a discussion about finance and I was ready to buy, well not literally there and then, but I am as smitten with ‘Sea Crystal’ now as I was yesterday. This could be the start of something new, exciting and very different to what I have done before!

Could I really be suited to a life on the ocean waves? Well yes, maybe I could!

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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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