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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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One Year!

31/1/2017

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Another milestone
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I have reached a few milestones whilst living in Spain; personal achievements, goals and dreams come true!  Today was another milestone passed.  It has been one year since I moved to Spain. I never thought I would last a week, let alone twelve months.

Presently, life is still extremely hard; Spain is an unforgiving place and takes no prisoners.  I have no idea what the next year will bring; whether or not I will even still be in Gran Alacant, but I am at least doing my very best to survive, testing times!

Today passed rather quietly; coffee at Zest this morning, a shopping trip to Lidl and a cup of tea and some Tarot back at my house with Katie.  A pleasant morning, in an otherwise harsh World!

Currently I am feeling a little directionless, unsure when Darrell is returning; all dependent on circumstances. Like many people, in Spain, at this time of year, one muddles through.  This country is a difficult place to navigate; there are many more challenges to come, until I, at least, feel happy and content enough, to call this place home!

Despite the downside of life, living here, at the moment, I am very happy to be  in Gran Alacant.  Unless you understand and know this country, you will never comprehend, just how it ticks.  I am beginning to realise, after a year; the ticking clock needs a service, taken apart and put back together again.  Spain being Spain, it is very unlikely to happen!  The good does outweigh the bad, but one must always consider, how long to wind up a broken clock!

One year down!
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Cats!

30/1/2017

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Precious
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Precious seems rather unsettled lately, which isn't surprising, when you consider she has had the same upheaval in her life, we have. Precious was always Darrell's cat and she has been missing him; you can tell by the meow she makes!

The cold weather hasn't really helped both cats settle in to be honest. They both sleep on or in my bed at night, which tends to disrupt my sleep. It is unthinkable, making them sleep down stairs, it is just to chilly for that.

Without fail, Precious wakes me up at 5.30am every morning.  She makes this strange, almost sorrowful noise to get my attention. She never actually used to be that affectionate towards me, in the past, but as the months have past, she has become a lot more loving and needy.  This is probably in part, due to her old age, but also her own insecurities, in her new environment. Still a lovable cat, is a wonderful companion and a suitable  replacement for a partner, who is away in Australia!

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Turmoil

29/1/2017

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The World and I
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These are indeed tumultuous times; the World seems to be in turmoil, last seen in the 1930s and it is frightening.  I love History and have always read historical books ever since I can remember.  As human beings we have a lot to ascertain from our past, but like most things in life, we never do.  I never seem to learn either; I have made the same old mistakes, time after time and never really no why.

I was watching the news this morning. President Trump, was once again top of the agenda, as he stumbles into his second week of the Presidency.  Already he his making some radical decisions, determined to follow through with his pledges and promises; his latest Presidential orders, to stop Muslims from certain countries from entering the USA.  It all seems very 'pre-war Germany' to me.  I studied the rise of the Hitler and the Second World War, extensively and there are comparisons in these two men, which we should all be weary of.

I am anti extremism in all respects; extreme religion is a scourge on our world.  When one looks at what ISIS and even legitimate Countries have done against human dignity, it is shocking; beyond shocking. The mistreatment of women, gays and Christians, in the name of Allah, is sick.  These people do not deserve to partake, in society, in the same way you or I do. Does that mean, Donald Trump is right, in what he is doing? This is something my conscience has been wrestling with, since this man was swept into office.  Should we all fall behind the President, as Americans usually do and support his agenda? no matter how repugnant it may be! Or should the people of the world stand up and voice their opinions?

There has been plenty of turmoil in my life, over the last few years, as readers of my blogs are well aware.  Many people understood, what myself and Darrell were going through at work, through misdeeds and  the actions of repugnant individuals.  Most of those who understood our circumstances, said nothing, even those close to us, at that time. They had lost their voices and ability, to stand up for friends.  To me that is shocking; I have always stood shoulder to shoulder, with those I believe in, may need help or victims of circumstances. Not only would I speak up on behalf of others who had no voice, both professionally at 'Action for Children', as a Mentor and Advocate, but also personally.  I have helped people all my life, find jobs, give them a roof over their head and speak, when they couldn't; I got nothing in return!

Similarly, like the world we live in at the moment, my life remains in a confused state of flux, constantly changing, a little directionless and always on the edge.  We could all do with a lift up now and again, mostly it never happens and we continue fighting our turmoil, while everything around us, seems to come crashing down. I am in a strange country, fighting for survival after the most difficult period in my life.  Those difficulties continue, in a different vein and as yet I don't see an end to them anytime soon.  I do what I can, as we all should.

Donald Trump is a man with conviction.  The pledges he made before the election, he is adhering too; that's great you might say! In fact he is dealing with a world that is broken and a problem that will not go away, despite the draconian measures he puts in place. I have many friends, from different walks of life; different cultures, creeds, colour and backgrounds.  They all have one thing in common, the reason they are my friends;  they accept me for who I am, no matter who they are.  How can you possibly try and stop a whole race of people entering a country, under the premise, they are all terrorists; this is nonsense!  Many of the people he is stopping from entering the US, are fleeing the very people, he is trying to eradicate.  They are not one and the same. A refugee is a refugee and a terrorist is a terrorist.  The  people Trump has banned entering the USA, have had no part to play in American deaths, through terrorism, unlike Saudi Arabia for example, who had a large part to play in 9/11, who's citizens are not banned; this is about politics!

The World is in chaos at the moment, especially the Middle East.  Trump wants to pull up the drawbridge and look after number one, isolating himself and his country from the rest of the world. From the building of the Mexican wall to the banning of refugees, the new President has a mission.  Despite what he may say, on the surface this plan seems racist and discriminatory, the same itinerary Hitler had in the 1930s. Nationalism is on the rise, across Europe and the rest of the world. In many ways you could call me a Nationalist; I voted for Brexit, love my Country and am a staunch Monarchist; but I am not a racist.  What Donald Trump is doing, is singling out a particular sector of society and blaming the worlds problems on them, as Hitler did to the jews in Germany.  His message is populist, appealing to Americans basic instincts to protect themselves, their families and their country. His intimation is also highly perilous and counterproductive:  it will cause a rise in extremism and will be detrimental, even dangerous to America and her allies. This kind of policy schedule is not the way forward; I fear for the future.

As a person I was singled out by a sociopath, for obscure reasons and was told to keep quiet and not speak up, against villainous intent. As one would expect from me, I did the complete opposite, speaking up on every occasion I could and will continue to do so.  We all have freedom of speech and are able to express our feeling, as we would wish.  If you do not believe in what someone is doing, then you have a duty to make yourself heard, if not for you, for others.  

I don't believe what the President of The United States is doing, is right and proper, just or moral.  Although I understand his frustration, trying to solve the problem of terrorism, I do not believe the methods he is employing as workable.  The long term effects of what is does now, will be catastrophic for future generations.  In the short to medium term, there will be more acts or terrorism, bought about by people, displaced by his policies, turning to the very organisations he is trying to curtail; the reverse of what he is setting out to achieve!

Presidents come and go, as the circumstances that shape and mould our lives change and adapt, all the time, every day.  Mostly, we say nothing, keep our mouths shut and turn a blind eye, to unjustifiable acts, that should never have been employed. Sometimes, all of us have to stand up and be counted; if we don't then we risk becoming a pawn in a very dangerous game.  Isolate yourselves, all you want, it will not correct what is going on around you.  When you finally pop your head, outside that locked door, you may not be able to put the resulting mayhem back together again!

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Bright and Early!

28/1/2017

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Saturday
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I was up bright and early today, 5 am to be exact. I don't seem to be sleeping too well lately, but nevertheless getting up early is good. We had been expecting, more bad weather today  and sure enough the wind has been howling outside. Stupidly, I hung some washing up last night, before I went to bed; just as I thought, everything had been blown down, strewn across the solarium! Still, the sun is out, there's no rain, which always puts a smile on my face and today is a feel good day.  It has been a hard winter in Spain; cold, rainy and dark; the sooner it is over, the better and we can finally look forward to the spring! 
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Curry!

27/1/2017

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Hot and spicy
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Curry night tonight. Cooked up a large batch of hot and spicy curry; one portion for me and another three for the freezer. Didn't taste too bad, considering my lack of ingredients!
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Art In My Life!

26/1/2017

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​Meanings in paintings


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One of my passions is the love of art.  Although I have never owned anything of significance, a rembrandt or picasso, I have always collected painting and pictures, buying them or having them commissioned at important junctures in my life.  I am a bit nostalgic like that.  I am no minimalist and hate blank walls; my old home in Southampton was full of  interesting things to look at.  Most of it was sold off, before I moved to Spain, but I did bring some of the more important ones, the ones with the most sentimental value with me.  Restarting ones life, can be difficult; choosing what one should take to ones new life, is even harder.  I have regrets about some of the items that were sold at auction, but I am happy with what I have with me in Spain, just enough to jog ones memory, now and again, of happier times!

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9/11, a terrible event in history, that struck a chord with me. Like most people from that time, I remember where I was and what I was doing, on the day, those planes flew into the World Trade Centre. Myself and Darrell had our own business in Salisbury and were working in the restaurant, when the towers came down.

This painting reminds me of that terrible day, but it also reminds me of our life together in Salisbury. On that notorious day, I lost a substantial amount of money on the stock market and 9/11 marked the beginning of the end of our time, running a business. In a few years, we would have left Salisbury, beginning a new chapter in our life!


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This modern painting is called 'Love; Ups and downs'.  I bought the picture from an auction, about fifteen years ago; it has a lot of significance for myself and Darrell and our life together.

No relationship is ever smooth and we have had a particularly bumpy ride. Not because we fell out of love, but because of the circumstances we have been in from time to time, rather like those we are living through today.

Looking at it, reminds me of our partnership together.  It has on occasion, been responsible for pushing me further forward, at a time, when things haven't looked good for us both!


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Mollie Sugden, or rather Mrs Slocombe! This fantastic lady was a massive part of my childhood. I have many happy memories watching her on television with family and friends alike.  When she died, I had this picture commissioned. She had to come with us to Spain, of course and sits proudly above the TV set. A picture that takes me back to the happy part of my childhood and something I will never part with!


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A picture of Buckingham Palace, painted in 1969, a couple of years before I was born. You would expect me to have some 'Royal' references, in the paintings I have; I am a complete Royalist and a big fan of HM The Queen; I have always been that way.

I am also English and very proud of my identity. Although I am living in Spain, I like to keep that link to home and this painting gives me that.

As someone who has lived and worked in Britain all my life, I did find it hard, giving up my house. I may no longer live in the UK, but I am still British and all that entails. The Monarchy encompasses everything; values and dedication, that I believe in.  As The Queen has given her life in the service of her country, all of us, should give a little of ourselves to a cause that we truly adhere too!


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The is probably the most important painting I have. It was painted by one of my volunteers, when I worked for Oxfam.  His name was Mark and he had schizophrenia. As a person, he was always determined and a joy to be around. 

Mark painted this picture about five years ago.  It is of me, how he saw me and the three different sides of me, that he believed made up my personality. This is a picture that will always take me back to happy times, despite the charity I worked for and the manner of my departure.  The people on the ground were always true stalwarts, doing what they believed was right, for those in most need; Oxfam owe these people a great debt!


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I have studied Palmistry or as I call it, Chirology. I was also in contact with many other Palmists, all over the world. This painting was sent to me by a friend in India, while I was actually learning 'Vedic Palmistry' and has a lot of meaning for me.

I have been practicing the study of the hand since 2004, whilst living with a friend in Southampton, who enjoyed doing tarot. I suppose he fueled my interest in all things mystic and although I enjoy doing tarot myself, hand reading is really where my talents and interest lie!


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A painting I had commissioned nearly twenty years ago. This is The Mansion, long since demolished.  I used to live here in the early 1990s, with a group of other gay people. It was a difficult period for the gay community in general and a group living together, had a lot to do with safety in numbers.

​This was also a party house; although we only lived here for six months, the time spent at the Mansion has left more of an impression on me, than any other time in my life so far!


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A painting of the amphitheatre in Pula, Croatia. This was the first time myself and Darrell traveled to Darrell's home country; it was the beginning of a journey, that would take us back to this beautiful jewel, on the Dalmatian coast, year after year. We became very close to his relatives in Split, who welcomed us with open arms and are always accommodating and friendly!

​Pula, was the last real holiday we had together on our own, without staying with family.  It is a wonderful historic place that holds some fantastic memories; a place I hope to visit again one day!


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A painting I saw at an auction, which reminded me of Sorrento. Darrell and I have been to Italy on many occasions, too many to remember. We especially loved Sorrento, Amalfi and Napoli, where we holidayed twice.  This painting of a street scene, brings back happy memories, of walking through the narrow cobbled streets, winding roads and secret hideaways. Southern Italy is another place I hope to return to one day.  Italy is also somewhere I want to live. Every time I look through this street, I always mutter to myself, 'one day, one day!' Paintings keep dreams alive; even at the darkest moments in ones life, a picture can take you back to the happiest of times!


You can tell a lot about a person, by the paintings they have on their walls. I couldn't live without the colour and vibrancy pictures give a home.  Everything I brought with me, in the back of a transit van, across the continent from Britain, has meaning and purpose. I didn't have much left, when I arrived in Gran Alacant, certainly nothing of value, but what I do have I cherish and will not part with.  A world without pictures, would be an unhappy place.  There is a part of me, in all the art work I have, brought, made, commissioned or acquired.  When you put a picture on your wall, you are also including part of the person who had it before you. These are just a few of what I had collected, over many years, now with me in Spain;  as time moves on, I hope to begin my collection once again.
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British Staples!

24/1/2017

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What the rest of the world think!


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I have just come across this article on the internet and thought it would be of interest to my readers.  It describes in photographs, different displays of British food, in supermarkets, for the expat community, in different countries of the world.  It is interesting to see what each country regards as a British staple.

I myself was up early this morning, shopping.  Up until recently I used to shop in Lidl, but have switched along with Katie and am now, shopping at Mercadona, in Gran Alacant.  If you shop wisely, Mercadona is actually much cheaper, as I discovered recently.  This is a change from what I believed to be true at the beginning of my stay in Spain, always shopping in Lidl, but as they say, we learn as we meander through life. Today I spent 22,80€ and that will get me through a week, yes a whole week.  A little bit different from those days shopping in Tesco or Waitrose and the 120 pound bill at the end of it.

Like all the other supermarkets that I have been into, Mercadona has its own British section, including what it regards as British fodder.  Sadly they have failed in every respect, in fact out of all the shops selling such goods, Mercadona has the worst display.  I wish I had taken a picture today, but completely forgot. In all honesty, none of these establishments have to sell anything from the Mother country, so the fact they do is a bonus in itself.  Mercadona's section was quite sparse and didn't include the biggest essential item of all Marmite.  Everywhere else sells the black stuff, just not the Spanish leading supermarket.  Good for them, keep it Spanish, because everything else, is great.  Paying 2,00€ for 500g of mince meat, can't be bad.  In fact all the meat on sale there is much cheaper than I have seen anywhere else!
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If I need anything British, I usually go to my local shop, Unide, a short walk away from where I live. They have a fantastic range of produce and compared to most other places are much cheaper when trying to find items from home.  The thing is, the price you pay, does vary dramatically  in Spain.  In Unide I would usually pay about 2,95€ for a small jar of Marmite, in Dialprix, today I paid 3,85€; that is a huge difference in price.

Dialprix, however does have the best British range of goods on offer, but shopping around is key, because of the variation in price.  With some items, being as much as 1€ more expensive, depending where you shop, it really does pay, to look around carefully, especially when on a budget.  It can be a bit hard work at times, especially when you just want to go to one shop and buy your weekly groceries, but it is just the way things are out here and it isn't going to change anytime soon, if at all. In reality the shopping culture in Spain is very different to that in The UK!

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The one thing you should remember is, you are going to have to pay over the odds, for whatever British products you want or need, during your stay away from home.  There are however many ways you can purchase everyday essentials.  Many Spanish towns and cities, will have dedicated, specialist, British outlets.  If you are thinking of moving further South in Spain, you will also find a vast aray of British shops in Gibraltar.  Maybe take a trip over the boarder and see what is on offer, especially with a weak pound

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I have also come across many online shops, based in Britain, selling goods to expats overseas and have included a couple of links here.  Just click on the photograph to take you to the shop.  These online stores are a great way of obtaining items that are not readily available in the foreign country you are living in.  There are delivery charges, but, as with most of these shops, the more you buy, the cheaper it becomes and the delivery charge isn't that much of a problem. 

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Wherever you are living in the world, you can be sure of obtaining your favourite British food. We live in a highly globalized time, where connections between people and countries are closer than they ever have been. It is easy the have items sent to your home address, although a few words of caution. The postal service in Spain, is not as good as many others across the globe.  In my opinion, the use of postal boxes, away from ones home, is a security risk.  If you are going to have regular parcels sent from abroad, I would advice you get a postal box. Many places offer this service, from banks to estate agents, and you do have the guarantee of receiving items, that could otherwise get lost in the Spanish postal system, which is easily done over here!

A final few words about 'Marmite'.  This is the only thing I can not do without, living in Spain. At nearly 4,00€ for a small jar, it is very expensive. Ideally shops need to stock the bigger jars. Don't be afraid to ask those behind the counter, to see if they can stock something you want, but currently can't get, especially in the British supermarkets. We have found them to be obliging and do all they can to accommodate your request. Sending a 400g jar of Marmite, from the UK, could be cost prohibited; a false economy, so speaking to those who currently stock British items, is the best way forward, after all, they can only say no!

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Sunday Lunch!

24/1/2017

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Great Company
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I was invited out for Sunday lunch this weekend.  Lee had cooked a roast, which was delicious.  It was nice, sat down with friends, chatting the night away.  I had a great evening, although one too many Gin and Tonics and a terrible hangover this morning, when I finally fell through the front door.
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Tarot

24/1/2017

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Quiet Saturday night
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A quiet night in for me on Saturday.  It's still cold at the moment, so I got into bed, watched some television and did myself a tarot reading; just a quick, past, present and future reading.  The cards  came out quite positive for a change, so maybe things are about to change.

I started to do Tarot in 2004 and have practiced it ever since.  It is a great tool to help determine direction in your life and work your way through any problems you might have; highly recommended!
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Beach!

22/1/2017

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Urbanova
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It has been a very wet and rainy day, again today. I had some business to attend to this morning, so was up early, beginning the day with a warm mug of tea at Zest, followed by a meeting. Afterwards I was treated to a wonderful lunch, by friends, at Urbanova Beach. I have just got in and started to clean up my flooded Casa once again, after the Siberian winter gripping Spain, continues to wreak havoc across the region.  Tomorrow is another day!
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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    A place to call home
    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
            Luke Feb 16
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