Darrell has been busy volunteering for a charity in Western Australia over the last few weeks - 'Express  Wildlife Rescue!' After the recent bush fires that engulfed Western Australia subsided, many thousands of native animals were left orphaned. This small charity is doing all it can to help those in greatest need. You can of course donate to 'Express Wildlife Rescue' by clicking the links throughout today's blog entry. Like all charities, funds are in short supply and the more help you can give to help the better.

Darrell has been helping to feed and care for orphaned Joeys (baby Kangaroo's.) These tiny babies, left in their Mothers pouch after they died, are rescued by dedicated volunteers, who are having to heartbreakingly remove them, taking them to the rescue centre to be cared for. Joeys need a lot of looking after and have to be nurtured for three years, before they are able to look after themselves. It is a painstaking job hand rearing these beautiful marsupials; without the commitment of volunteers like Darrell and many others, 'Express Wildlife Rescue' wouldn't be able to carry out the work it does!

I am happy Darrell has finally been able to undertake some voluntary work in Australia. It is difficult when you are supporting an elderly or ill relative, so the opportunity to take a break from the pressures of life and do something to help your local community, is a good way of staying focused and in touch with the outside world. It can be a lonely task, caring for a loved one, so above all contact with other people is important.

Life in Western Australia is carrying on as normal, so it is lucky Darrell has been able to source a position which allows him time to breathe, chat to other volunteers and help save lives. I have always enjoyed volunteering myself, for many years and hope Darrell can also gain some much-needed satisfaction from his time at the rescue centre; I know I am in awe at the work he is championing!

For me looking in, I have also been able to see a side of life I wouldn't otherwise have seen. I am aware of the seasonal bush fires that threaten Australia, but like most people I didn't understand the extent of the damage caused to wildlife throughout this diverse country. I may well have had many challenges living in Australia twenty years ago, but I can appreciate the allurement and distinctiveness this Country represents. The amazing ecosystem needs to be preserved and protected at all costs, so the more Australians do to help, the brighter the future will be.

Another week has passed and after four months of lockdown it has been time to shave my unruly mop - both of us are bald now, looking every inch our age; just part of the course as I reach my 50th year. Looking through old photographs earlier, I am reminded of the fulfilled life we have both led; this pandemic is but a small hiccup in the road we are currently following. The fact that we are both living apart temporarily should never affect our plans for the future This is a time to push even harder, as we become ever more determined to achieve the goals we have set together, the dreams we have yet to follow and the ambitions we continue to seek!

It's Friday, not a day I usually blog, because I am normally beavering away at work by now, however this week, once again, I am self Isolating. Yesterday I received yet another message from 'Track and Trace,' to isolate, after coming into contact with someone who has reported they have Coronavirus symptoms. I've lost count how many times I have had to do this now, but it must be about three or four. Yes it is tiresome, inconvenient and exasperating, but unlike others, I understand the importance of doing it. It was interesting to see on the news last night, that around twenty-eight thousand  people are actually ignoring the notifications and carrying on as normal. Why, just why would you? If you have the app on your phone, follow it and do the right thing for Christ’s sake, it is your civic duty.

As usual, I have no idea how or why I came into contact with whoever this person is, but I have a good idea. When I am working, I am protected from the general public by a perspex shield, so there is no need to have my 'Track and Trace' app turned on. In fact the service have told me to turn it off. Nevertheless, I did have a Hospital Appointment on the day I would have been exposed, so this could be the reason why I am isolating yet again. Like everyone else I will never know who gave my details and I will remain in the dark, which is probably a good thing.

I do have concern about the timings involved. I received a message yesterday to isolate for five days, which means If I did have COVID-19, I would have been walking around for five days, following my usual routine, not knowing I could have been passing on this deadly virus. One can only assume the person who reported symptoms, didn't do so soon enough or the results of the test came through later than one would have expected. It is so important people are notified quickly, to stop the spread; this is the second time I have had a very short quarantine period, which says something is going wrong with the system. Let's hope that the Government gets its act together and of course the public actually follow the rules and report symptoms as soon as they get them!

On a positive note, it is great to see the UK's vaccination programme really ramping up. When I listened to the news yesterday, ten and a half million people had already received their first dose of the vaccine. This is great news; the sooner all of us are immunised, the quicker we will get back to normal. The crucial thing is, everyone who is offered a jab, takes the jab. I am sick and tired of the conspiracy theories and the anti-vaxxers. These people know nothing about this virus and its impact on families and need to take a long hard look at themselves. Their views are abhorrent and wrong and deserve no air time. Shocking scenes of these people storming hospital wards, accusing health care professionals of 'murder' is beyond comprehension, It highlights the odious lack of understanding and education. It is an appalling indictment on a small, yet vocal minority of the population, that mistakenly believe this virus is a hoax, it just makes me want to cry!

One piece of news I did find a little hard to stomach this week, was Europe's reaction to our Vaccination programme. Predictably, they slammed our efforts, implying we were taking risks with peoples lives, having not tested the vaccines properly. At one stage they threatened Britain with a hard Northern Irish border, trying to divert valuable medicines to the European Union. The vindictive nature of their behaviour, trying to restrict the amount of vaccine made in the EU, travelling to the UK, because we had actually ordered and secured batches three months before, beggars belief. They were willing to disrupt supply to those who needed it most, in order to save face. It is their bureaucracy that has delayed their immunisation programme; it has nothing to do with us. Luckily they backed down at the last minute as Europe invariably does. My love hate relationship with Europe has once again been tested. Having reversed my stance on Brexit, I was once again brought to boiling point, by Europe's actions. Their conduct is the reason I voted to leave, this just creates more negativity, when we should all be working together.

This week we saw the death of a hero, the superstar of this pandemic, an ex serviceman, Knight of the Realm and champion of the National Health Service. Sadly Captain Sir Tom Moore, who raised thirty-nine million pounds for NHS charities died of Pneumonia and Coronavirus, succumbing to the disease, he had fought against throughout 2020. This man, who in his 99th year, walked a hundred laps of his garden, raising millions, was a loss that's hard to countenance.

Sir Tom was the constant in all our lives last year; his positive outlook, cheerful disposition and stoicism in the face of tragedy carried all of us through the worst of the pandemic. This national treasure was an inspiration during dark times, a man who encouraged many to raise yet more money for charities up and down the country and was known throughout the World for his efforts. Losing this gentle soul in his 100th year, was a tragic day for everyone with an ounce of empathy and compassion. His loss will be felt by all of us, especially his family and those who knew him best.

I would like to offer my sincere condolences to Sir Toms family at this sad time and hope his legacy will live on, long after the pandemic has gone. It is people like him that epitomise the plucky British spirit, sense of duty and strength in the face of adversity. A man unknown just a year ago, rose to the challenges of a virus, that could have taken his life at any stage and became a living, breathing hero, who none of us will forget. The man of the moment will forever live in the hearts of a nation who needed his courage, in order to face the challenges ahead. His achievements will always be remembered, in death as they were in life.

I did manage to speak to Darrell briefly over the last few days and he is phoning me every day whilst I am self isolating. To be honest it is the only time we actually get to talk more often. Having to lock myself away for a week isn't ideal, but it does give me a little bit of 'me' time that I wouldn't otherwise have.

Darrell has also been isolating this week, not because of possible contact with someone who has tested positive for COVID, but because Western Australia entered a brief total lockdown. A security guard, tested positive for the more deadly UK strain and had been working several jobs, bringing him into contact with many different people. The authorities there were understandably concerned about a potential outbreak and immediately did the right thing, closing the state.

Darrell was unsurprisingly frustrated; unlike us Brits, he isn't used to the mandatory mask wearing and rule adherence. When I phoned him today, he told me they had come out of lockdown, after everyone who had come into contact with the virus had tested negative. Once again I can't fault Australia for their quick reaction to a situation, that could have so quickly got out of hand and once again Darrell and Mum can breathe a sigh of relief.

Bush fires have also been raging in Western Australia, just 2 km from where we used to live in Ellenbrook. Of course this isn't entirely unusual, but their proximity to the city is and is also a concern for Darrell and the residents who live there.

Wherever you are in the World at the moment, there does seem to be an overbearing number of problems and disturbances to deal with - COVID, wildfires, political unrest in Burma, famine in Africa and the after effects of Brexit. All of these issues seem to indicate a time of turbulence, that I haven't really witnessed in my lifetime. As a planet we have enjoyed prosperity and progress up to now and enjoyed a relatively peaceful period, free from the unrest and turmoil of the past. 2020 has shown us, fate is always round the corner waiting to rear its ugly head and all of us should prepare for the worst. My generation had become too complacent, it's time all of us woke up to the challenges, that will dominate all our lives from now on.

So, I have another four days of self-isolation to go before I can get back to work, which is going to drive me bonkers once again. I am taking the opportunity to catch up on some reading, blogging and sorting out by IBS symptoms. Today I am fasting for twenty-four hours, which always helps to reset my stomach. Already the pain has subsided, as I just drink green tea and water, and although I am feeling a bit dizzy and tired, I am at least enjoying the benefits of a pain free day.

I'm not really sure why fasting helps, but from what I believe it is about giving the stomach time to rest, without having to process any food; whatever the reasons, it seems to work for me. At a time when all of us should be thinking about our own personal well-being, exercising, eating healthily and doing whatever we can to avoid the terrible effects of Coronavirus, should we be unfortunate to contract it, it is important for me at least to look after my digestive system. When my tummy feels good, so do I. If I can only lower my stress levels as well, I should hopefully weather the storm until it is my turn to be vaccinated, until then it will be more of the same - isolating, mask wearing, social distancing and sanitizing one's hands. Nothing lasts forever and like all of you, I long for the day life returns to normal; stay safe everyone, stay safe!

Christmas is coming and it is going to be yet another milestone that Darrell and I won't be enjoying together. This is actually my favourite time of year, so not spending it with my partner is going to be difficult. I have seriously been thinking about upping sticks and just getting on a plane and going to be with him in Australia - easier said than done I hear you say, but I am finding life particularly taxing at the moment; I am not enjoying it one bit!

'Compared to other people, I really don't have a lot to complain about!' This is all I am told, encouraged to 'knock myself out of it,' whatever 'it' is and get on with life. However, these are the people who really have no concept of what I am going through and the torment I feel every day. These are the people with perfect lives, wife, 2.4 children and an 'easy ride;' these are the people who have no idea what it is like to struggle, fight, battle and strive, and I am sick of hearing their opinions!

Today I am feeling angry, angry at the World and angry with myself. I wish I had gone to Australia when I had the chance, despite the difficulties involved; I surely would have muddled through. This bloody pandemic is getting me down yes, but the reaction of people is grating on me even more. No one cares about anyone, just themselves and how they are missing their annual holiday, can't go to their favourite restaurant or have that extra pint in the pub, because it is closing early. I am fed up with their selfish attitude towards others. They only wear masks when they want, refuse to socially distance, break all the rules and think they have the right to ignore the rest of us - well they don't, and they should be bloody ashamed of themselves!

I may well not be suffering like other people in the physical sense, but mentally I am drained and at the end of my tether. I haven't seen my husband for a year and have no idea when I will be allowed to see him again. If all you have to whinge about, is boredom on a Saturday night, because everything shuts at 10pm, the lack of quinoa on supermarket shelves or the queues outside Primark for your cheap, nasty clothes, then you really have no idea what heartache is. Yes I am bitter and feeling sorry for myself, yes it is rather self-indulgent, sybaritic and unrestrained but I have a voice and today I want to shout out loud from the rooftops... I have a reason to roar, can you really say the same!

Rant over!!!!

I've had a pretty unremarkable week if I am honest, just plenty of working on the agenda. Since the easing of lockdown restrictions, I have become busier than ever, doing as much overtime as possible. Saving money rather than spending it is a rather alien concept for me, but nevertheless I have been doing just that, tirelessly, and have built up quite a nest egg for the future. Today I actually have more money than I have ever had and am finally looking forward to a rosy future. Equally, Darrell is saving hard in Australia and by the time this dreadful pandemic has passed, we should have enough money to finally settle down in the country of our choice..

Darrell travelled home to Kalgoorlie this week, a gold mining town in the Western Australian outback.  Once a year, he is given a free ticket to travel anywhere in the state for a holiday, offering a welcome break away from the pressure he is under every day. Travelling to see his old school friend Tina, he was able to walk a path he hasn't walked for many years, remembering his childhood in a town that he has had a rather difficult relationship with.

Kalgoorlie is a small town, deep in the Australian desert, with a big attitude. Rather like small town America, Kalgoorlie has its fair share of extreme views, conservative values and right wing attitudes, from a bygone era that most of us are glad to see the back of. Darrell used to tell me about his feelings growing up gay in this provincial back-water, where men were men and women knew their place. In truth, he didn't paint a very nice picture of the place, constantly referring to it as a dust bowl, homophobic and racist. This is the place where he grew up however and in the same way I still hold my childhood home of Fareham with affection, I could tell in his voice, he was happy to see it once again.

Speaking to Darrell on the phone it was clear he enjoyed his trip away. Seeing the changing scenery as the train travelled through open farm land and bush, relaxing on the six-hour journey was refreshing after the year he has had.

Staycations both in the UK and Australia are 'all the rage,' as a television commentator referred to it on 'Good Morning Britain' this morning. All of us are trying to make the most of worldwide lockdown conditions in this COVID era, so staying at home is part of the 'new normal,' the order of the day. This arduous chapter has given Darrell the opportunity to travel back to a distinct time in his life, one that wasn't always happy or memorable. Like me, his childhood wasn't easy, but it made us both who we are and sometimes it helps to retrace one's steps along a road that essentially began our journey together. When I am able, I will also go to Australia and see the town where Darrell spent his childhood, until then I have been happy to see the photographs along with all of you.

Both of us returned home to our respective countries for the same reasons, to be with our families at a traumatic time. With my Mother sadly departed, I am no longer needed here; ideally I would like to fly to Australia to be with my husband and Mother, but with the World in so much turmoil, that is impossible, and I am making the best of my situation. Luckily I am staying with a loving Aunt and family, who have done everything to support me through these last couple of years. Despite everything, I do at least have the satisfaction of getting to know my extended family once again. All of us are where we are for a reason and it is clear, I am supposed to be here at this point in my life. This is a period I will remember for all eternity, a special phase, that I will never forget, this is a time I grew stronger as a person and finally realised where my heart belongs, with the person I fell in love with twenty-five years ago!

Like everyone else, I have been watching in horror at the disaster unfolding in Australia; wild fires causing devastation across the continent. Already an area the size of Belgium has been destroyed and half a billion animals lost in New South Wales alone. This is destruction on an unprecedented scale and I have been dumbfounded at the pictures I have seen on television.

I spoke to Darrell a few days ago in Western Australia, just to find out if he is OK. The fires are concentrated in the Eastern states and Darrell hasn't been directly affected by them, although there are still many wild fires ablaze in the west. The type of incidences we are witnessing usually occur in Darrell's home state, which is normally drier and hotter than the east, but this year the reverse is true and Australians can only watch, like the rest of the World, as the Eastern seaboard burns unabated.

I have lived in Australia twice with Darrell over the twenty four years we have been together and have experienced some particularly harsh weather. I remember it was so hot during the summer of 1998, that you couldn't even move to turn on the air conditioner. Australia is a country of extremes in every respect, one of the reasons I chose not to live there. However it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever lived and have many fond memories of my time living there. It is terribly sad seeing such awful scenes playing out in front of our eyes. The loss to Australia and the World is immeasurable.

The reaction of Scott Morrison and the Liberal Government is typical of politicians who understand nothing about the challenges Australians face everyday. The Prime Minister's decision to go on holiday, while Australia burned was unbelievable and shows his complete contempt for the public who voted him into office. This is a man who denies climate change is happening and continues to promote the mining of fossil fuels to keep the lights burning in Sydney. This vast nations reliance on outdated methods of Electricity production, when it could be investing in solar power, an abundant source Australia has unlimited access to, is shameful. This man's refusal to listen to climate change experts has been complicit in the severity of the fires raging across the Eastern states; it is people like him who continue to destroy this planet for no other reason than personal gain. Like Donald Trump, history will judge him harshly for his actions and lack of foresight. The World we live on is dying and no one is prepared to stand up and do the right thing!

Australia will burn for many more weeks yet, as the intensity of the summer grows stronger. As spectators to this travesty, we must do more to help those suffering in my second home Australia.

Please click on the link above, to give what you can to help those in greatest need and rebuild the shattered Eastern States of Australia.

Australia is burning, animals and lives are being lost - Make a donation, MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

This morning while getting ready for work I received a text message from Darrell in Australia, telling me he missed me, words we often exchange, considering the great distance between us and our inability to say it to each other face to face. We have been living apart now for six months, as he continues to care for his ailing Mother in Australia, during her battle with terminal cancer. I miss my husband everyday and find our current circumstances difficult to endure at times. When you have to live away from the person you love, you really do feel the stresses and strains of life ten fold. Today I have to cope with life as a single man, not something I am used to, having been in a relationship since I was eighteen years old and on days like today our separation does take its toll.

I have always believed in relationships, taking a lead from my parents and their fifty two years together. I have never seen eye to eye with Mum and Dad on most things, but have always admired their sense of loyalty to one another and the love they share. Relationships do indeed have their ups and downs and like most people, Darrell and I have gone through some very rough times, that aren't over yet, as we both approach our fifties.  Unlike most people however, we have always worked through our issues. There have been many times when we could have split up, but our shared experiences and understanding for one another has allowed us to forgive and forget far more willingly. Relationships are about partnership and we have always been there for one another, no matter what the circumstances.

The limits of what we can stand as a couple has been tested in recent years and we have had to adjust our life dramatically to accommodate ever changing circumstances. Darrell is living in Australia with his Mother once again, as he did in 2016/17, when she was first diagnosed with cancer. This time I am lucky enough to be staying with family in the UK, a Godsend when I remember the challenging situation I experienced in Spain. There I lived alone, just me and my two cats; I spent seven months struggling to survive in the harsh Spanish climate, without any support at all. I miss Darrell everyday, but I can cope far better, being around those I love.

When I look back over our twenty four years as a couple I am well aware of just how much we rely on one another, even today. In the past, our life followed the same path, we had the same friends, at times the same employer and were always a pair that went out together, with friends or otherwise. Despite being surrounded by my Aunt and numerous Cousins, Mum, Dad and work colleagues on a daily basis, rarely having five minutes to myself, I essentially remain lonely and feel like I am drifting all at sea, without my right hand man. I am not enjoying this period away from my partner, I am doing what I have to, doing the right thing and doing what is expected of me at this time. Our wishes are not important right now, other people have to take priority; eventually when all this is over, we will be together once again.

None of us know what will happen in our lives, who we will meet, form relationships with and ultimately spend the rest of our lives with, but we are all well aware of the here and now. I have come to the realisation that we should all live life in the present, especially in our case. We can not make plans, because the path we are currently on is ever changing and just when we think our life is back on track, we are thrown another obstacle to overcome. I have long given up on planning for the future and will in all probability continue to struggle for the foreseeable future. For me there is no oasis on the horizon and I will just have to continue fighting to survive. I am not trying to deliberately sound downbeat but I am trying to build a sense of reality and reluctantly accept my current situation, which isn't ideal.

In one months time I will finally meet up with Darrell once again as we rondezvous in Hong Kong and together with my Aunt fly to Korea, enjoying ten days as a couple, no doubt arguing and stressing as every other couple do on holiday. It will be a welcome break for both of us navigating our way through this demanding period in both our lives. Darrell and I can briefly relax and have a little bit of quality time together, despite the pressures on us both right now. We may well be living thousands of miles apart, but the story of our partnership goes on. The bumps in the road make for a rocky ride but the thrill of exertion keeps memories alive!

A big thank you to everyone for asking how Darrell is getting on in Australia, since he left the UK two months ago. He has settled in as well as can be expected under the circumstances, staying with his Mother in Perth, Western Australia. Like me in the UK, he has reconnected with friends and family, people he hasn't seen for many years and is enjoying being around those close.

We have spoken to each other often over the last nine weeks and it is clear that although he is happy to be with his Mother, he isn't particularly euphoric about being back in Australia itself. It isn't the Country he left behind in 1995, there has been dramatic changes to his homeland and he is finding it difficult to adjust to life down under, as he did when he returned for seven months in 2016. We have both discussed the path we need to follow, when this testing time comes to an end and both feel Australia is probably not an option. The hurdles we would have to cross and the nature of Australian society is not what we want at our time of life. We haven't made any firm decisions about where to live long term and are content to go with the flow for now!

Darrell has adopted a feral cat called Nakita who is helping him during his stay. At the moment, the summer has just kicked in in Australia and the temperature is rising, unlike back here in Britain. Darrell hasn't experienced an English winter in many years and consequently his body clock is finding it problematic. Australia is indeed a wonderful country but it isn't necessarily the long term future we both desire.

Darrell had a very quiet Christmas and New Year like me, spending time with his kinfolk and close friends. Unlike the UK, Australians don't tend to celebrate the festive season in the same way, understandable, when one considers the raging hot temperatures across the region. Family is important for both of us right now, so that is our priority. During this period, Darrell has stayed close to his Mum and enjoyed all the benefits that brings. Living in Britain for over twenty years has taught him the value of relationships, especially with his Mother; one never truly realises the significance of our parents, until they are gone. None of us can be sure how long we have left with them, so we should all do what we can to cement our family bonds, creating enduring and everlasting memories that will stay with us for a life time; both Darrell and I are doing just that!