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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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One Week To Go!

27/8/2022

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This time next week we will be on our way to Croatia, the first stop on my 'lifestyle break.' My nerves have well and truly kicked in now and despite past reservations, today I am finally looking forward to leaving the UK. My apprehension has always been about leaving friends behind, but this last week has shown that no matter where we are, those friendships will always be there.

Looking back over the years we have travelled, both Darrell and I have made many friends and a few of the good ones have remained, steadfast in our life. It is true to say, we haven't seen many of them in a long time, but lives are busy, and it can be difficult making time to see one another. Whether I return to the UK in a year or just keep on travelling is anyone's guess, but the important thing is, we do what makes us happy. I am genuinely trying to spend as much time as I can with those closest at the moment, giving as many people as I can a big hug when I see them (Yes I understand there is COVID, but hugging is no longer illegal.) When the time comes to leave, it will be a wrench, but I have spent some wonderful times with comrades and colleagues alike, and have some amazing memories to share.

Yesterday was my final shift on the Customer Service Desk, which, if I am honest, made me sad. Next week I will be working on the front end for a few days before I officially start my career break on Thursday. Colleagues and customers have been brilliant and have really shown me just how lucky I am. People have wanted to show their appreciation, which is rather difficult when you are leaving the country, but they have gone out of their way to show me how much they care. I suggested that a friendship bracelet or token, to take with me on my journey, would be an ideal gift, since we are limited with space. Well, I have been given some great items and will wear them throughout my time away. Every time I look at these gestures of friendship, I will be reminded of the people who did much, to enhance the life I have here in Portsmouth. These are the only things I need to remember my time, and their significance will cement the bonds I have formed.

The emotional rollercoaster I am on presently has a while to run yet, as I have a few more people to see before I go. On Wednesday, I will make a point of popping in to The Newcome to see my old boss. I have left seeing him and others to the last minute, preferring to stay out of crowded areas before I travel. With our departure on Saturday, I am hoping nothing will happen to jeopardise the flight before we go. I am also trying to keep my distance as much as possible from other people, although I am certainly not turning down those hugs before I go. Someone said to me just yesterday how 'huggy' I had become, and I suppose I have, I really am going to miss so many people; I just want to keep them as close as I can right now.

On Thursday, I will see my Father one last time. Naturally, I worry about Dad, and the prospect of being away from him for so long isn't helping my anxiety. He hasn't been too well lately, and it will be difficult leaving him behind. My Father is delighted we are travelling and following our dreams, but I do detect the apprehension in his voice. I have only been back in the UK for a little over four years, and I know he would rather I was staying, but he understands our need to go on this journey. Dad has always been quite stoical, showing little emotion, but since the death of Mum he has become far more emotionally in touch with his feelings. On the plus side, he does have a full life now, doing the things he has always wanted to do, so I am happy that he is content and won't miss me too much.

My cases are packed, and I am ready to fly. I am right up to the limit with my baggage allowance; Thai Airways are particularly tight with their allocation, with only one 20 kg suitcase allowed per person and only a single 7 kg cabin case permitted. Surprisingly I am able to take far more luggage to Croatia, than I am to Thailand and Australia, which really makes no sense at all, but with some innovative juggling and brutal selecting I have managed to do what I can to fit everything in. Living out of a suitcase for the next year isn't going to be easy, but we have done it before, and I doubt very much it will be the last time we do it again.

I've got another busy, tiring week ahead, but the long haul is nearly over and finally Darrell and I can relax together, away from the stress of life. It has been a long time coming, but God willing, we will depart without a hitch and fly away towards new adventures. Our life together is about to change for the better, and I am thankful we finally have something to look forward to. My love for Portsmouth will always be there, this is after all my home, but my yearning for new horizons will inevitably overtake my need to settle down, as the World once again becomes my reason to live and an oasis to explore!

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The Last Supper!

22/8/2022

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Yesterday was quite an emotional day for me for many reasons. It was my final Sunday shift on my department and the last day I would see people who were being redeployed to different parts of the business. I suppose Sunday brought home just how close we are to leaving. For the first time, I didn't feel attached to my job in the way I was before. Becoming emotionally detached is an important process when you are going away. I suppose it has happened in our life so many times, that it is just part of the course now. Nevertheless, it doesn't get any easier and I just want to get on that plane and fly away; everything feels different, and it's time to move forwards!

Last night was the final 'last supper' before we depart on the 3rd September. We are mindful of COVID-19 and want to avoid large crowds as much as possible until our departure. Fifteen of my closest friends and colleagues from Tesco joined Darrell and me for drinks and a buffet dinner, once again at Spoon in Portsmouth. To be honest, I was very touched by the number of people who wanted to come. To say the night was impassioned is a bit of an understatement. I will not be seeing these gorgeous people for a very long time. Many of them may well have moved on when I return, and I am aware of how different my position in the company could be.

It was good to relax and chat with friends in a way we don't usually have time to do. I haven't seen many of those who came last night In a long while. Usually it is a short hello, wave of the hand and brief exchange of pleasantries. Sitting down to eat and drink just allows for a more pleasurable experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

Sunday was the last of the formal goodbyes, with just my Father to see on the 1st of September. These past few weeks have been extremely draining, but it really has shown us just how much people care. I may well have only been in Portsmouth for four years, but the friends I have made, have been extremely important for my personal growth and wellbeing. A year away isn't a long time on the scale of things, but it is when you consider just how much can change during that time. The hope is, these fantastic individuals will remain a part of my life for many years to come, but of course circumstances, dreams and aspirations change. Whatever happens over the next twelve months, I am glad I have all these memories to take with me and of course share with you. As I say a final farewell to all my colleagues for now, I am blown away by their generosity of spirit and send all of them my love. Never change, keep being the people you are!
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Two Weeks To Go!

20/8/2022

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With just a couple of weeks to go before our departure, I received some of the currency for our trip this morning. I think the penny has finally dropped and everything is finally coming together.

It really has been a testing few months getting to where we are today; I haven't stopped planning the itinerary for our first three months away. The next few weeks will be equally testing as we finalise the arrangements, finish packing our cases and get ready to leave on the 3rd September. This part of the process has always been my Achilles hill; I have never enjoyed all the planning and preparation involved, preferring to just get up and spontaneously leave, as I have done in the past. However, this time it is crucial we are well-organised, since we will be away from the United Kingdom for an extended period of time.

I am of course looking forward to the adventure we are now firmly embarked upon and communicating with readers of Roaming Brit updated every step of the way. I will be keeping a journal throughout the year and will write extensively about our journey. This will be the longest fourteen days of my life as anxiety turns to anticipation, but this is an important juncture in both mine and Darrell's life, and we look forward to the memories it will bring!
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Clayborne's World - Farewell to my Happy Place!

20/8/2022

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As we count down the days to our departure, Clayborne came out on our final farewell to Cancer Research. As the Cancer Research teddy, he travels with Darrell and me on all our trips around the World, so it was only right he was there at our last meal with the crew.

Like us, Clayborne has a lot to look forward to as we travel across the globe and I hope to get as many photographs as I can of this little bear, bringing attention to what, I believe to be, the best charity in the World.

It looks likely this will be one of Clayborne's last UK adventures for a while, but you will see more of him, as he enjoys the beauty of Croatia, wonders of Thailand and uniqueness of Australia. Like us, this will be the biggest undertaking of his life, and we look forward to sharing the memories with you all!


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Farewell To My Happy Place!

20/8/2022

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On Monday, I said a fond farewell to Cancer Research - 'my happy place.' I began volunteering at the shop in Commercial Road in June 2018 on my return from Spain and have always enjoyed my time there. Zerina has been a rock of support for four years, as we discussed and shared our numerous health issues, and my life would have been all the poorer without her. Despite not having volunteered at the shop for a while now, I have always maintained contact and returned when I can to say hello.

Monday was really about Darrell, who has been Deputy Manager at Cancer Research for a little over six months now. I know from talking to Zerina and the volunteers, that he will be missed and has made an impact on all of those who work there. Saying goodbye has always been important for us, because our life has always been so transient. I have lost count of the number of bon voyage parties we have attended and tears that have been shed, as we have embarked on our travels and pastures new. Despite this, in the main, the last few years have been productive and extremely rewarding. If it wasn't for everyone at this little shop, I think we would have left much sooner. Sometimes you need to stay longer than you originally plan, to establish roots in preparation for an impromptu return.

It is the people in Portsmouth who have enriched both our lives since we moved here, and are the most difficult reason against our departure.  We are leaving good friends behind for a year, as we embark on a life-changing journey. Things may well have changed out of all proportion when we return, and that may not necessarily be for the best. Personally, I have always disliked change, which is in complete contrast to my lifestyle, but both Darrell and I are fully aware of just how special our life is. Our willingness to visit new and exciting countries and distant parts of the globe, makes us the couple we have always been.

The food was as wonderful as ever at Spoon World Buffet as fourteen of us sat down to eat. Laughing, joking and reminiscing about days spent at the shop, we all had a memorable final evening together. Darrell is of course still working at the shop until the end of August, like me, and I will have the opportunity to say goodbye to Zerina one final time. However, it felt great to spend time with friends and colleagues in an informal setting, people who have helped shape my life during my time in Portsmouth. I will of miss them more than words can say, but I am thankful for the good times I've had, making money for charity and working together, even during the darkest days of the pandemic. When our travels are complete, Cancer Research will once again be our first port of call, just as it was all those years ago, making more memories to take with us, as we continue with our life, wherever we finally settle down!
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The Long Goodbye Continues Apace!

15/8/2022

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Darrell and I were invited to a dear friend's house on Sunday evening. Jules, a work colleague, wanted to say a personal goodbye before we embark on our year of travelling. I have always been close to him, he has been there through some truly rough periods in my life, when Darrell was trapped in Australia at the height of the pandemic. Despite looking forward to my sabbatical, it will still be a wrench leaving friends behind, especially people like Jules. The older I get, the harder it will be to establish new friendships; I am lucky to have had this amazing person as a friend for the last four years, and I am happy and confident he will be a part of both our lives for many years to come.

Jules had also invited a special guest along, someone I haven't seen for a long time and a person I have known for thirty years. I don't want to mention him by name today, but save that for another blog. Some people value their privacy more than I and I respect their wish to leave it for a while before I publish their name.

What I can say, however, is just how important this person is to me. Jules understood the connection we had and went out of his way to facilitate our brief reunion. This was the mark of true friendship and makes me so grateful for the friends I have made here. There are very few people who remain a part of all our lives for such a long period of time, most are gone within a blink of an eye. I am lucky to have a few close companions, and seeing one of my oldest friends last night was an amazing memory to take with me on my travels.

Darrell and I still have more gatherings to attend before we leave in a few weeks, saying goodbye to many more friends; the long goodbye continues apace. Nevertheless, last night was the most important time for me, in the company of very close colleagues, in a relaxed, chilled atmosphere. I will miss Jules terribly during my travels, and I can't thank him enough for making my time in Portsmouth, at a time of turmoil, all the more bearable. I intend to return in a year and pick up from where I left off, but during such uncertain times, it is important to say goodbye to people who have been significant in my life. None of us know what will happen tomorrow, let alone in a year. I continue to look forward to the future, but am mindful of the people who made me the person I am. Jules is one of those and will forever remain in my heart!

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Catching Up With Friends Before We Go!

9/8/2022

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Bella Calabria

The next few weeks are going to be manic for Darrell and me, as we finish our itinerary for a year of travelling. On top of this, we have to say our goodbyes to friends and family, which, if I am honest, is already taking its toll. With so many people to see, it is becoming problematic fitting everyone in; however, I am doing my very best.

On Sunday I had a farewell meal with colleagues from work, the first of many meals over the next month. Six of us went to a highly recommended Italian restaurant in North End, here in Portsmouth, Bella Calabria. I had heard some great reviews on the restaurant from people I know, so thought I would try it out. The food was absolutely delicious. This was authentic Italian cuisine, cooked by Italians, and I personally wasn't disappointed.

With colleagues on the Customer Service Department, a friend James from Dot-com, and my boss Sammy, we spent a great few hours chatting and talking about mine and Darrell's plans for the year ahead. My position in the company is secure and has been kept open for my return, so I have no worries on that score. I do have to be mindful of the costs involved in circumnavigating the World; it isn't cheap. With no income for the next twelve months, it is important I budget as much as I can. Living within ones means while travelling is a bit of a tall order, but I am well-used to stretching the cash these days, so I am confident I have everything in place to ensure we have an amazing adventure.

It was fantastic being with the people who have been there for each other over the last few years. We kept each other's spirits up during the darkest days of the pandemic and did our best to survive, whatever came our way. These are the people who supported me, while Darrell was stranded in Australia, and were there when I fought for his return. Without them, my life would have been all the poorer and the motivation to succeed even harder to achieve.

After a lovely three-course meal, Darrell, James and I headed to Southsea beach and sat talking for hours. James has always been close; we started work together on the same department and have much in common. Whether sat back to back on checkouts discussing difficulties only gay men could have or bitching, in a way only we know how, our friendship has only grown stronger. He is one person I will miss more than most, but I know he will be a part of my life wherever I am in the World.

On Monday, still recovering from Bella Calabria, suitably hungover, Darrell and I spent the afternoon with one of our oldest friends from our time in Southampton, Elaine. We had lunch at The Lord Palmerston in Southsea, cheap and cheerful, after the expensive £40.00 ahead Italian the night before. Elaine knows us better than we know ourselves, so whenever we haven't seen each other for a while, we just pick up from where we left off.

The weather was scorching hot as we walked from the pub to the beach, where we relaxed in the early evening sun, swam and just enjoyed the cool breeze along the coast. Darrell said the most difficult part of going away is the goodbyes we have to make before we leave. I get that, I get that one hundred percent. It is always hard saying farewell, but that's why seeing friends like Elaine is important. A lot could happen while we are travelling, especially in this post COVID era, so spending a few hours of quality time with those closest, helps us stay grounded and connected to people when we are thousands of miles apart. Nothing lasts forever, and I'm sure we will see them all again one day soon, when we finally shake the itching bug and settle down once more.

Two more farewells before we depart these shores for pastures new, exploring parts of the World only others could dream of. This is the life Darrell and I have chosen to lead, unlike most of you and despite the pitfalls, it is the dynamic that keeps us together. This may well turn out to be another huge mistake in a long list of miscalculations, but these are our mistakes to make, and we are determined to live our lives to the full. I am aware age isn't on our side and the clock is ticking faster, so before I'm unable to do the things that make me happy, crossing countries off my bucket list, I'm going to make the most of the years I have left and keep following my dreams!

Southsea

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Arrangements Complete, We're Ready To Go!

6/8/2022

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Wow, what an expensive week it has been. After years of spending very little, I have spent more money in the last seven days, than I usually would in six months. It makes me nervous when I shell out so much cash, especially when travelling, but I am well aware that this is an important journey for Darrell and I and today, at 51 years old, I need to start living life again. If the pandemic has taught me anything, it's just how short life really is.

The first leg of our trip has finally been booked; We will be staying with family in Croatia, along the Dalmatian Coast, three hotels in Thailand and an apartment in Australia. I am looking forward to seeing our Croatian Cousins more than I can say, and it was always important that we spent time with them, before flying off to Australia to see Mum. Marin and Vlatka have always been welcoming, inviting us into their home, and we have made some wonderful memories over the years. It will be a fantastic place for me to begin my lifestyle break, in the company of family, surrounded by people we both love at a very auspicious time.

From Croatia, after a few days in London, we will fly directly to Bangkok, staying at the Siam Heritage Hotel, in the centre of the city, next we will move Closer to Chao Phraya River and the older part of the city, where we will stay at the Nouvo City Hotel, which according to 'Trust Piolet' and 'Trip Advisor,' is rated excellent. The days of me backpacking around the World are well and truly over, today I want a little more luxury; playing slightly more for a four-star hotel will be worth it in the end, especially when one considers the long flight to Australia when we leave Thailand. It is also important for us to stay in an LGBTQI+ friendly hotel, which the Nouvo Hotel has an amazing reputation for.
Situated in the historic quarter of the city, both of us want to explore the monuments, temples and buildings that make up the fabric of the city. Because both of us have travelled so much in our life, we have very little baggage, nothing of any real significance to take with us on our journeys. What we do have is photographs, hundreds and hundreds of photographs, luckily today in digital format, that document our travels around the World. These are the only things we really value; well, that and a few memories of our cats. Recording the sites and sounds we experience in Thailand, will be another reminder of this once in a lifetime vacation. Pictures are a reminder of the good things in our life; tangible objects only create clutter and confusion; photographs are markers to memories otherwise forgotten.
On our arrival in Australia, I have booked an Airbnb apartment near Victoria Park. Initially we were going to stay with Darrell's Mother at her home in Midvale, but due to the extensive nature of our travels, both of us thought it was best to quarantine ourselves for a while. Darrell's Mother has cancer, and it is important to keep her out of harms way. This was the most difficult place to find appropriate accommodation. Not only is it expensive, but there is also a serious lack of quality hotels and flats on our budget.

After looking extensively on Expedia, where I booked the rest of our holiday, I decided to turn to Airbnb. This wasn't something I wanted to do initially, because I have heard bad things about using this site, but I was running out of options, so had a look. I found a lovely little unit, with stunning views of the city, which would be perfect for the two of us. The set-up process on Airbnb was a bit laborious if I am honest, but once through the red tape it was a joy to navigate. Communication between us and our host Stacey was superb, and I was suitably impressed with the service offered. The flat is a little basic, but for a brief period of self-isolation it should be perfect; it looks like a great place to start our Australian adventure.
We plan to spend several months in Australia and hope to travel from one side to the other, experiencing the best the country has to offer. We will of course make more definite plans when we are there, but it will involve spending quality time with Mum and the rest of Darrell's family. There is so much of Western Australia I want to see, that I haven't already; I haven't been there for many years, so making time to navigate this vast state will be both our priorities for the first few weeks.

Despite not having made any firm arrangements for our time down under, I have organised my flight out of the country in November, just after Darrell's Birthday. I have booked a flight with Jetstar Airways to fly to Bali in Indonesia, a place I have visited briefly before, twenty-four years ago. This may be a part of the journey I do on my own, while Darrell stays with Mum. Beginning in Bali, I want to explore more of Asia, especially places off the beaten track, and hope to go to Laos and explore more of Vietnam and Cambodia. Darrell will fly out a little later and meet me, so we can continue our journey together.

Whatever happens during this break, we hope to visit many countries on our bucket list. Of course, COVID will always be in the back of our minds, but now feels right to start flying around the globe once more. There is so much I want to do before I am too old, and time waits for no man. Feeling hopeful, COVID will not interfere with our plans, we just want to get back to doing what we do best in this post COVID era. A year does seem a long time to be travelling, but we have saved hard for this, and I am used to living out of a suitcase. This is yet another new chapter in our life together, as new horizons direct our way, to a year vastly different from any we have seen before!
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Catching Up With Friends Before We Go - Nathan!

1/8/2022

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Darrell and I are both seasoned travellers, but this will be the longest trip we have ever taken together. As we have done, so many times before, we are spending valuable time with friends and colleagues before we go.  It is important to say goodbye to those closest, since a year is a long time and a lot can happen. I have some fantastic friends here on the south coast of England, and catching up will allow me to take some wonderful memories with me on my travels.

On Saturday night, we went for dinner at the Siam Square Restaurant in Southsea. The food was simply delicious, and I think all of us were suitably impressed. Of course, I picked Thai food, since Thailand will be our first port of call in Asia, and I wasn't disappointed.

I chose the Lamb Shank Curry, which was cooked to perfection; I couldn't fault the food or service at all. This place had come highly recommended and when I return, I will make a point of returning to this rather understated establishment.

Nathan visited Darrell and me in Spain five years ago and has always been a close friend. Our friendship has had its ups and downs over the years, but we have weathered many storms, some bigger than others, and come out the other side smiling. Nathan is just like a little son to me, and I will always look out for him, even if I am travelling across the World. I will miss his cheery face, but at least we have the internet and modern technology to stay in contact.

Nathan is the first of many catchups over the next month, each one as important as the last. Friends are the glue that holds Darrell and me together, and they are the people who continue to support our relationship, even in the most challenging circumstances. We will catch up again when we are home, until then, it was fantastic to see you, happy, content and building a future... Much love!
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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