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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Thank you for the Birthday messages!

13/5/2023

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The Coronation of Charles and Camilla - The future of the Monarchy!

7/5/2023

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When I left the UK, a little over seven months ago, I could never have expected, the monumental changes that have happened to the Great British Monarchy. Sitting on the Makarska promenade, overlooking the Adriatic, along the Dalmatian coast, I discovered our late Queen had died. As an ardent Monarchist, I immediately felt a sense of sadness, that I hadn't felt since the death of Princess Diana in 1997. This was the beginning of the Carolean era and the end of a reign that had spanned seventy years.

It is difficult to put into words how I felt about King Charles in September 2022, because I, like most people of my generation, have a conflict of interest. I have never forgotten the death of Diana, Princess of Wales, in that Paris car crash, in the early hours of Sunday morning, 26 years ago. Watching her emotional funeral on television, I remember how angry I felt towards the then Prince of Wales and how I could never forgive him for what he had done to the people's 'Queen of Hearts.'

A lot has happened during the intervening years; the woman who was the 'third person' in the marriage of Charles and Diana, was now Queen, and the bitterness felt towards Camilla has all but disappeared. Even I have changed my opinion of the Royal couple; as I watched the Coronation on television, I felt content that our new King and Queen would be an asset for Britain, as I put my feelings on the death of Diana to one side.

HM The King appears happy with Camilla, in a way he never was with Diana. As hard as it is to admit, the new King and Queen seem like a perfect match. Their body language, affection and etiquette, towards each other, is that of a happily married couple. If they had been allowed to marry all those years ago and others hadn't interfered in their relationship, things may well have been very different. The arranged marriage with Princess Diana was a disaster because there was no love between them, very different to what you see today.

There was no public holiday in Australia yesterday, and I finished work, just as the King and Queen left Buckingham Palace to travel to Westminster Abbey. I rushed home as quick as I could, to settle down and watch the Coronation. With a tinny, plate of Chicken and Chorizo and Cherry ripe for desert, I watched this blend of the ancient and modern unfold before me. I was awestruck at the spectacle; feeling emotional watching the beautiful service, my Monarchist credentials were well and truly confirmed. This was unlike anything I had seen before; like most people alive today, this was the first Coronation I had witnessed, and I was transfixed at the historic occasion. This was my homeland doing what it does best, and I wasn't disappointed.

As someone who understands the historic significance of the coronation and the institution it represents, I was delighted to be able to pay my respects to our new King and Queen, who have, and continue to, work tirelessly for the Commonwealth, charities and country I once called home. Their service and duty is without question and without a doubt, they are the future of the Monarchy and a link to a past, rich in history and symbolism. The King's continued commitment, is the bond that connects the British people together, in a way no elected Head of State could ever do. They are the embodiment of a country that I will always call home, and also the King and Queen of Australia, where I have chosen to live.

Reflecting on such a historic occasion, has allowed me to remember important milestones in my own life and the opportunities afforded to me as a result. The King and Queen have large shoes to fill, but they are now both in a position to make things happen. The Monarchy will change and adapt during King Charles reign, of that I am sure. Despite his advancing age, Charles, like his Father before him, was always a moderniser, but he must be careful not to go too far. Modernise the institution of which you are head, but keep the elements that allow it to flourish and grow, at the centre of its existence. My fear is, any streamlining of the Royal Family will go too far, and we will be left with a mere shadow of the past.  The Monarchy's appeal is in the mystique it portrays, not in the power it wields; for that reason, the King must remember the journey that brought him to the throne, and respect the heritage that is indicative of its success!

Like everyone, I wish the new King and Queen well; it is time to embrace Charles for all his faults and, most importantly Camilla, as his loving wife. History is littered with the failures of the past, let's not let that happen to an institution that sits at the very heart of the British psyche. As a Brit, the King has a special place in my heart, as his Mother did before; I am happy to pledge my allegiance to His Majesty and hopeful for the future that pledge represents!


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The Hard Reality of Expat Life!

25/3/2023

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This week has been a bit of an eye-opener for me in many respects. After buying a car over a week ago, we have returned it to the garage where we purchased it; It was unroadworthy and a danger. Today, we are still waiting for a reply from them, let alone on the road to getting our money back. In all fairness, buying this vehicle was a big mistake, we know that now. As Expats, relatively new to Perth, we had no idea, just how bad the car market was; had we known, we would never have paid money for it. This place is full to bursting with con merchants, and Darrell really should have walked away instead of purchasing this road hazard. All we can do is just keep waiting and hoping the bank returns our money, so we can buy a new car. Personally, I don't have much hope and certainly have no faith in the legal avenues open to us; we may well just have to write this mistake off to experience!

Now that we are settled in Perth, I have also started the process of moving my life, lock stock and barrel, over to Western Australia. As you can imagine, this is a particularly time-consuming and complicated business. Most importantly, I have begun migrating my British pensions over to an Australian Superfund. Now, this really is where things get complicated. In order to move my pension funds over, I have to do it through an HMRC compliant company here in Australia, or a (Qualifying Recognised Overseas Pension Scheme.) My current Superannuation fund, is with Plum Super, which sadly isn't accepted by the tax office in the UK. This means I will have to find another organisation who will accept the transfer.

Consequently, I have contacted various financial advisers in Australia, who I believe can help in this process. For me, it is necessary to move this money over, and although it isn't worth a great deal, it is important for the powers that be, that I show commitment to my new life in Perth. That isn't the only reason, of course. If I leave my pension pot in Britain, I believe I will be liable for tax. Drawing the money will also be more difficult, especially when one considers the exchange rates and costs involved in converting UK pounds to Dollars. Later on in life it will become a real headache and I feel it would be best to move it as soon as possible.

I do keep a close eye on my UK pension funds, and I am shocked at how badly they are doing. I have been comparing these pensions with equivalent superannuation funds in Australia, and there really isn't any comparison. Any money I have in the UK, would be much better off here than back in Britain.

This week, I also found out more about the UK state pension, which I am still able to get when I reach UK retirement age. It appears that the money I get each week will be based on how much I am entitled to today. In seventeen plus years time, when I officially retire, it will be worth absolutely nothing. With the way things are, my state pension will be worthless, and I should discount this income long term.

I am still at a loss to understand why my contributions are frozen at today's prices. If I stopped working in the UK now, but still lived there, the amount I receive would still go up in the same way everyone else's does. I am being penalised for moving abroad, but more importantly, to Australia.

Australia has no social security agreement with the UK, which does create problems for expats like me. My state pension will remain frozen at the levels they are today for this reason alone; if I had moved somewhere else, where a reciprocal agreement was in place, then this wouldn't be the case. Once again, I am being punished because I am living in Perth, and that isn't right. Not every expat is wealthy; I live on relatively modest income and will have even less when I retire. It is up to me to save hard over the next decade and a half, in order to have enough money when I am older. However, looking at our situation long term, I am not sure if it will be possible to live here in my dotage. It may well be better to sell our home and move back to Europe. A lot can happen between now and then, so the only plans we can make for now, are for the immediate future, a long term strategy is just not possible!

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Pippa continues to settle in to her new home with us and appears to be growing stronger by the day. Her life was clearly very traumatic, and it will take some time before she has adjusted to her new circumstances.

Over the last week, she has been suffering with an unfortunate eye infection. Last Sunday, we took her to the vets, after noticing she had a swollen eye. After she was examined, the vet informed us that she had herpes. Apparently the condition was brought to the fore because of the stress she has been under. For Pippa, moving from her foster home was a big deal, and she has been under an enormous amount of stress ever since.

We have stopped visitors from coming into the house at the moment, in order for her to feel comfortable in her own home, and we are sure it won't be too long before she is able to enjoy a full and happy life.

Looking after a damaged animal isn't easy, but we knew that when we took her on in the first place. We wanted to give her a good home, when no one else would, affording her the life she deserves. We are certainly under no illusions about how difficult this process will be, but the reward is to see her happy and content; for that reason, we are happy to keep on trying to bring the best out in her. Like all our other cats before her, she is more special than she will ever know; she is the light in our life and a reason to care!


...and finally, today we had Sunday lunch at The Stirling Arms in Guildford, celebrating my Mother-in-Law's Birthday. It was a special day for all of us, being here in Australia with Mum at this time. She has spent far too many Birthdays alone, but thankfully now we are back, that will not be happening again.

Like us, I hope you've all had a wonderful weekend!

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Tesco's End - Farewell to a faithful old friend!

29/1/2023

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This week, I have finally said a fond farewell to my job at Tesco. After nearly five years, I emailed my letter of resignation on Friday, ending what was probably the most productive period of my life in Britain. This was the hardest decision I had to make, but the reality is, my lifestyle break had come to an end, when I started a full time job here in Australia. The contract dictates the steps I had to take under such circumstances and with a little bit of prompting from my now ex-boss Sammy, I handed in my notice with immediate effect. Sammy was instrumental in ensuring I was able to take such an important career break in the first place; after some deeply painful days in Britain before we left, she was there offering support when I needed it most. Without her, our success now, may well have ended very differently and for that I will always be grateful!

The truth is, I hate goodbyes, and this was one I really didn't want to say. I understand I haven't been working in Fratton for five months now, but by holding on to the possibility, I may return to my job one day, I was somewhat comforted. You may well call it a safety net, or just not wanting to let go, but for me, it was about holding on to the good times and life enhancing memories that I made, everyday I went to work, behind the customer Service Desk. There were no bad shifts, although in reality there probably were, but nothing to speak of, and I always thoroughly enjoyed my time at Tesco; luckily for me, I will always look back at my time with fondness and there aren't many jobs you can say that about.

I don't think I have every really worked somewhere quite like it; the people were the most generous, giving and open bunch I have ever met and all of them felt like the family I needed at that time. Most people spoke of the friendly atmosphere and just how well colleagues got on with one another, but it wasn't until I left in September 2022, at the beginning of my journey to Australia, that I realised just how much I was going to miss the place.

I have to be honest now, and I know some of you won't appreciate it, but there isn't much I am going to miss about Fratton. I never enjoyed living there and would never want to live there again, but the friends I made, the generosity of spirit you see in the people from Tesco and indeed Fratton as a whole, is truly heart-warming. This was a community that treated everyone with respect and dignity, no matter what their background, and the enduring memories I made will stay with me for the rest of my life.

When I look back to my departure and those last few weeks at Tesco, I don't think I have ever felt more loved in my life. These were my family in all but name, they gave me everything I needed - from a shoulder to cry on, advice and direction, or a place to crash if the worst came to the worst. My colleagues, no, my FRIENDS, were there encouraging me, every step of the way, and I will miss them all, especially now everything is so final!

My time at Tesco coincided with some momentous events, not only in my life, but also in the history of the World. I started working there after returning from Spain, while Darrell was in Australia caring for his Mother. When I needed support, the team were there for me. It was never a chore going into work, in fact if you ask anyone who worked there, I was more often than not, early, so I could chat with friends. This was just what I needed, as I tried to build a life temporarily without my husband. This sense of belonging became even more crucial when the pandemic took hold in 2020; all of us bonded in a way that would have been unthinkable before.

Working through the worst public health crisis in a hundred years was often scary, especially during the early days, when none of us knew just how bad things would get. I remember working on the desk, which looked more like a bunker, with fruit and veg crates piled in front, as a barrier between customers and us. There was no PPE or sanitizer initially, and Tesco did everything they could to ensure our safety; these were times of great anxiety and stress, but they were also days of comradeship, laughter and music.

As shops closed, theatres were boarded up, pubs, music venues and places of entertainment shut their doors, Tesco remained open. Things were very different, of course, but we hosted events on those great occasions that would normally see people celebrating in the streets. From VE day to Christmas, we all did our best to make sure customers enjoyed their time; after all, we were the only stores open in this new dystopian World. Supermarkets were crucial as key workers like me made our way to work every day, through deserted, empty streets, to serve customers and hopefully brightening their day.

Today I am lucky to include many customers as friends, born out of the pandemic and the respect we showed for one another. From the Fox Lady, Joanne and her multicoloured hair, and the dear late Mrs Fisher, who I talked with throughout the pandemic, until her death just over a year ago. Together with colleagues, Managers and all those on Front End Support, I had the best four and a half years of my life.

I have shed a tear or two, as I moved across the World, which is only natural. Things will never really be the same again. I am, however, aware of where my future lies, but I am also mindful of where my journey began. The World was just a little bit sweeter at Tesco and I laughed just a little bit more; I hugged so much better (even throughout the pandemic, naughty I know) and I was just a little bit, yes just a little bit happier, in a job I loved more than any other that had gone before.

I leave behind people I love and always will, the memories of a special time in my life, friends like you wouldn't believe and of course my biggest, bestest, loveliest friend of all - Jules, my big Brother, forever, and someone I wish I'd got to know better. Nevertheless, we will always be there for each other, as much as we can, and when the time is right I'll be back in Fratton, sharing the love; picking up from where I left off, the day I closed my locker door, rekindling the nostalgia I will always feel!

Dedicated to Jules, my Brother from another Mother!


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Happy New Year 2023!

1/1/2023

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Well that's it, another year over, and I couldn't be happier to see the back of it. I think, looking back to the death of The Queen, I realised just how bloody dreadful a year it had been. Her passing just emphasised how bad it was for me and Darrell. Despite the difficulties we experienced as a couple, the saving grace was of course leaving Britain at the beginning of September, on our adventure of a lifetime. I can't actually believe that was four months ago now. Walking away from everything was just what we had to do, for our own sanity and peace of mind. Despite missing friends and colleagues from work and my Father, I haven't really looked back since, happy to lay 2022 to rest!

I didn't see in the New Year last night, as I would have done in Britain, in fact I was in bed asleep by ten o'clock. I did manage to welcome in 2023 from Sydney, but with Perth being three hours behind, I decided to go to bed. There are so many different time zones in Australia, it makes you realise just how big this country is.

This morning, I was awake by 6 am as usual, so managed to welcome in 2023 from London. In a way, this was like the final goodbye from a country I had called home most of my life, but a place I have certainly fallen out of love with in recent years. Whether it's the state of the economy, the God awful endless, discredited Tory Governments or the difficulties at home on a personal level, I am just thankful, I can put this horrendous period to the back of my mind and move on. There was however a twinge of sadness, as the festivities played homage to our late Queen Elizabeth, reminding not only me, but all of us, that 2022 was definitely the end of an era!

Of course, not everything was bad, and I am glad I made so many wonderful friends in Portsmouth before I left, who will always be in my thoughts. Whether from Tesco, The Newcome Arms, or Cancer Research, all of these weird and wonderful characters will share a special place in my heart, wherever I am in the World. Without them, the 'Pandemic Years' would have been that much harder to bear!

I would like to wish all the readers of Roaming Brit a happy and prosperous 2023 and hope you all get everything you wish for in life. Thank you for continuing to support this blog, sharing your thoughts and ideas, and now being a part of my new life down under. Happy New Year!

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Year in Review 2022!

27/12/2022

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Wow, what a year it has been for both me and Darrell. So much has happened in such a small space of time, I just don't know where to begin. I suppose I should start at the beginning - Darrell had been back in the UK for just a few short months and both of us were planning a future together in Portsmouth, in the aftermath of a pandemic that had conspired to keep us apart for nearly two years.

We were pretty happy and sorted at the beginning of 2022. Both of us were working in jobs we loved and were discussing the possibility of buying a home together for the first time in many years. The pandemic had been kind to us at least, and we had saved up a substantial amount of money for a deposit, but it just wasn't enough for somewhere big enough for our needs. To be honest, when I look back, I don't think either of us really wanted to live in a pokey one-bedroom flat, in a city we just couldn't call our own. I'm not sure if that sounds completely right, but what I am trying to say is, it never really felt like home. It didn't have the memories needed to form an emotional attachment. Although I had some strong friendships, keeping that connection alive, ultimately it wasn't enough to keep us in this famous naval city, on the south coast of England.

Darrell was working hard at Cancer Research in a job he loved. His boss and my friend Zerina was instrumental in keeping us both in Portsmouth for as long as we were there. She is one of my closest and dearest friends and a lady I hold in the highest regard. She has helped both me and Darrell out more times than I care to remember. Her advice has been invaluable, and she was a huge presence in both our lives. I don't think I have ever seen Darrell so happy in his work, as he was there, and he really put his heart and soul into a position he loved. Back then, I was sure we would stay in Portsmouth for the rest of our days.

Equally, I was thoroughly enjoying my position at Tesco, as I had done since I started there in 2018. In many ways, I had become part of the furniture and had settled into my role with ease. For the first time in many years, I had formed close friendships with some truly remarkable characters. These were the lifeline that kept me going when Darrell was away, and they held me together, while living a rather frugal existence in Portsmouth.

My colleagues on the Customer Service desk where I worked were such a close-knit group, it was always going to be a wrench leaving them behind under any circumstances, let alone what transpired later in the year. Together with my closest friend Jules, this was the World I wanted to keep, grasp tightly and not want to let go!

Jules was normally the first person I saw every morning, forever smiling, consistently welcoming and invariably so full of life. We talked about everything and anything, and he is the nearest to the Brother I have never really had. Our bond grew especially close during my last year in the UK, and I really don't think I would have survived those final days in Portsmouth without him. He was a shoulder to cry on, an encyclopedia of advice and always, just always that little bit 'extra gay'. Every morning we saw one another, we would always have the biggest bear hug and make sure to end our morning natter before work by saying those immortal words 'be extra gay today,' as we did every day, bringing a little bit of sunshine into an otherwise drab, dull world.

Of course nothing was quite as it seemed and although my work life was the best it had ever been, things at home were not working out. I had lived with my Aunt for four years and thoroughly enjoyed my time there. She was, in all but name, Mum, especially after my Mother died in 2019. My Aunt, Darrell and I all got on well in the same house, and it was an arrangement that worked perfectly for the most part. I suppose I became complacent and took our living situation for granted, believing things would carry on very much in the same vein, even when the danger signs were there.

Her son and my Cousin moved back into the family home in the middle of the year and despite a rocky start, things worked fine. I have always had a close bond with my Cousin, and in many respects he reminds me of myself. I'm not saying everything was a bed of roses, but we all learned to live under the same roof amicably and life continued as it had done before. Darrell and I did keep ourselves to ourselves a lot more, but I believe deep down we already knew it was time to leave.

Things came to a head after an uncalled-for family intervention. This was an unnecessary interference into what was essentially a personal matter, problems that just needed to be ironed out and boundaries set. As is the case in many families, talking seems to take a back seat, as situations spiral out of control, everyone burying their head in the sand, hoping issues will just go away. Both Darrell and I are as guilty of that as anyone. Sometimes it takes an argument to brings things to the fore and make us realise there is more to life.

My Cousin Rachel is one of the most honest up front people you will ever meet and despite a rather heated exchange of views, both Darrell and I were glad things were said as they were. This was a row that all three of us would have sorted out, no matter what the outcome, and we just expected things to return to normal. Like best laid plans of mice and men, it didn't work out that way, and an unwarranted text from someone who had not even witnessed the argument, suggesting Darrell and I should consider our position in Portsmouth, finally put the nail in the coffin.

We both decided, after receiving the text, that it was time to go. When people start digging the knife in, without a thought for no one but themselves, let alone two people who had done nothing but help, we knew our time was up. For our own sanity and peace of mind, we had to leave. There was no point staying somewhere where neither of us were wanted. This was a sad ending to our time in Portsmouth, but it also gave us an insight into what some people are really like. When a leopard finally shows its spots and the abuse starts flowing, it is time to head for the hills and not look back.

I will forever be thankful to my Aunt for taking me in at a particularly difficult point in my life. I will also always love my Cousins Rachel and Joe and their respective extended families. However, when I look back, I suppose I was never really a part of their lives anyway; I lived very much on the side lines, and both Darrell and I were quite happy to go back to 'us against the World,' and avoid family ties altogether - it's how we work best.

Initially we just walked away from a situation that had become toxic, but after a chat with my Aunt we returned to see if we could repair the damage that had been done. Despite getting closer to my Cousin Joe, spending a memorable last few months with him, we just couldn't see a future in that house with my family, and we decided to return to Australia and give this place one last chance. This was not an easy decision to make, but as I watched the decline of Britain on the news, and my own personal issues bubbling away, the warning signs were there; I knew it was something we had to do.

I spoke to my employer, who was amazing and fully supported my decision to take a 'lifestyle break' for a year, leaving the option to return to my job on the table, should everything fail down under. I couldn't thank my Manager Sammy enough for all she did for me at that time. Without her, I would have just walked out of Tesco and been left high and dry in the worst of circumstances. Her advice and help ensured a smooth transition to a new life in Australia.

The last month in Britain was a double-edged sword. This was a time I cemented friendships in a way I hadn't before. I had so many leaving parties, I lost count of the number of times I said goodbye, but these were people who wanted to give us a memorable send-off and show just how much they cared. I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and many tears flowed over the weeks before we left. Many of those who waved us on our way have kept in contact and continue to wish us well. All of them made our departure that much harder, and there were times I really thought about staying, but pulled myself back from the brink and continued to strive for a better future in Perth.

The hardest person to leave behind was Jules, tears really did flow on my final day. After all the planning, arranging of flights, hotels and travel, nothing can prepare you for actually saying goodbye to someone close, akin to family. Jules will always be in my life, I will make sure of that. I video call him when I can and message him often. My life is a little darker without him in it, and I wish things had turned out differently and our friendship could have grown into something even more special than it already is. It wasn't meant to be, and I will keep the flame of friendship burning bright from the other side of the World. There will always be a special place in my heart for the best friend who kept me going in the worst of times; of course I will always have regrets, but I also have to look forwards to the future.

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We left Portsmouth on a rainy Saturday morning, after a series of emotional farewells. On that final day, Zerina turned up on the door step, just so she could wave us off. She did what others didn't, people who should have been there, and for that she will, like Jules, remain a friend for life. She also continues to phone, message and video call; as Darrell said to me, just the other day, she would have been his reason to stay. Zerina, along with Jules and my dear friend John, were the family we should have had, the people who truly loved us, and we loved back. You certainly can't choose your family, but you can evidently give it a damn good try!
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Sitting at the airport, waiting for our first flight to Croatia, I was able to reflect on my time in the UK. I had, and still have, a feeling I won't be back any time soon, definitely not to live again, and it was time to let go of the past. At great milestones in my life, I have always thought about the 'what if's' and 'buts.' Our almost knee-jerk reaction to up and leave, had brought home the nature of what we were doing, we were leaving Britain for good, saying farewell to friends for the last time, but happy to leave the crap behind. In a few hours we would be with loving family in Croatia, with people who we cared for deeply, far away from the pain we were leaving behind.

Our trip to Australia was always about saying au revoir. With the UK becoming a distant memory, it was now time to connect with our Croatian Cousins before continuing on to Thailand. Marin and Vlatka had been in our lives since 2008, when Darrell went to Croatia to see family for the first time. We continued to go there year after year, and had many special memories to take with us on our journey home to Oz.

It had been a few years since we last saw them, and we hugged just like it was yesterday. Spending ten days with them at their home in Makarska was a joy and made us realise what family was all about. We had had such a torrid time before we left, we forgot that there were people who actually loved us and within a few short hours of arriving, we were comfortably at home, looked after by people who only had our best interests at heart.

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Spending two weeks in Croatia was just what we both needed. We spent time visiting the Dalmatian Coast, relaxing in one of the many cafés and bars along the Makarska Riviera, gazing at the icy blue sea and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Vlatka and Marin prepared home cooked meals, and we sat talking to the early hours, catching up on family life in this beautiful Dalmatian town. I always feel like I am home when I am in Croatia, and this trip was no exception. This is a family like no other and the love they show is certainly unparalleled in my life; leaving is always the hardest part

Sitting outside a bar in Makarska, drinking a pint of Karlovacko, I heard murmurs from the tourists walking along the promenade. It had become apparent that HM Queen Elizabeth had died back home in Scotland. This amazing lady, the best public servant the UK has ever known, had quietly passed away, leaving a great gaping hole in all our lives.

My respect for the Queen goes back to my childhood, she is the only Monarch I have ever known. I became emotional, as I would if it had been a member of my own family. The Queen was the constant in my life, and she was now no longer there; words can not describe how upset I was.

I suppose in a way, it was quite poignant that she passed away as we were leaving the UK for a new life down under. An era was well and truly coming to an end, and her passing just reinforced the decision I made to leave. I was at least able to toast her passing, and made a promise to myself to watch the funeral from Thailand on the next leg of my journey.

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Leaving Croatia was a wrench, as it always has been, but the time we spent with family was invaluable. We promised not to leave it so long in future and both of us know our family ties are always a reason to return to Europe, as we will do as soon as we are able.

Flying back into London to catch our flight to Bangkok was a rather surreal experience. The death of The Queen was palpable. Walking through the terminal after our arrival, there were TV screens and poster boards everywhere highlighting Her Majesties 70 years on the throne. I had returned to a country in mourning and a very different Kingdom. There was a quiet calmness about the place, as people reflected on just what Elizabeth II meant to them, deep in thought, glazed expression and respectful repose.

I would have loved to have laid flowers in her honour, but with our connecting flight less than 24 hours away, I was lucky enough to have a friend do it for me. Little John was heading to London that day, I was supposed to meet him, but with delays, it had become impossible, and he put a bouquet down in green park from him and me; a gesture I will never forget. This is what friends are for, and that's what made leaving Britain so hard.

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Our two weeks in Bangkok were amazing, more than what we both expected. This was a city we both fell madly in love with, and a place we want to return to as soon as we are able. Bangkok is where modernity meets traditional Asian culture, sitting side by side, down every street, around every corner. There was so much to do and see, that we couldn't have possibly fit in everything we wanted to do. From the BTS Sky Train, Statue of The Golden Buddha and the many Royal Palaces, we weren't disappointed!

We spent the first part of our trip in the notorious Patpong district of the city, and this colourful area really did live up to its reputation. Patpong was an eye-opener in every respect, and we enjoyed some rather fun fuelled nights in the bars and restaurants down Silom Soi 4, where all the gay venues were situated.  This rather hedonistic introduction to Bangkok, left us aghast on more than one occasion, but I am certainly glad we ventured into the dark depths of the city, even for just a short while.

Here I was able to see The late Queen Elizabeth's funeral on my laptop. Sat in The Siam Heritage Hotel, surrounded by oriental splendour, I was able to pay my respects to Her late Majesty and remember with fondness, her legacy and significance for me. It did feel strange being away from the UK at this time, but then this was just the beginning of our new life and as I watched from afar, the penny finally dropped; in all probability we will never live in Britain again. Our life was firmly on track towards our new home in Australia.

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From Patpong and the Siam Heritage, we travelled across the city to Samsen Road, one of the oldest parts of the city. Here we settled into our luxurious hotel, where we enjoyed a more relaxing time. Close to all the major historical sites, we spent our time exploring this stunning part of Bangkok, visiting everything we could.

Darrell and I had firmly removed Britain from our thoughts, preferring to concentrate on the future. Travelling has always helped us forget some of the more difficult periods of our life, and this European/Asian adventure was the tonic we both needed. After several months of hell, we were now able to sit back and enjoy our favourite part of the World, free from pressure and stress, doom and gloom.

Surrounded by the beauty Bangkok offers, we immersed ourselves in the culture of a country that was so far removed from our own, yet strangely felt familiar and homely. This was a place where we both felt at ease, reassured and untroubled.

Opposite The Nuovo City Hotel, where we stayed, sat a small family run restaurant, 'So Samsen.' This became our go-to place and every evening we would go there for dinner. The food was exquisite, cooked by hostess Aom and her colleagues. Aom's credentials were impeccable, having helped set up a Michelin Star restaurant here in Perth, Western Australia, and at a reasonable price, we were able to taste the best of Thai food at a fraction of the price.

The ambiance was perfect; after each meal we sat looking out across the street where we were based, just chatting about the future, stroking the resident cat and soaking in the atmosphere. The girls, at So Samsen, would often sit and speak with us, adding to the friendly 'family' vibe. Both Darrell and I needed 'So Samsen' at that point in our journey, it reminded us, that there were good people out there, and a whole World to explore. I have never felt so secure somewhere in my life, and I know we were both reluctant to leave this pretty little restaurant behind. Its significance will remain a part of us always, as we continue our travels across the World.

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.... and so to Australia where we are today, preparing, hopefully, for the rest of our life together. This has unsurprisingly been the hardest part of our journey. When I left the UK five months ago, I never believed my life would be where it is today. Back then I thought I would get somewhere to live pretty quickly, settle down and continue doing the same job I did in the UK. However, nothing ever turns out the way you want it to. Australia has changed out of all proportion since I was last here in 1997 and the differences are clear to see.

Back in the late 90s, finding somewhere to live was easy, today nothing but. After the worldwide pandemic, property is few and far between, and we are still, after three months, living was Darrell's Mother. This has of course made life very difficult, and we are continuing to battle very much as we did in the UK. This is the worst part of life here in Perth; everything else, however, seems on the surface at least, to be going in our favour.

My application to remain in Australia is in and in a couple of days, on the 28th December, I will finally be 'legally illegal.' My 'Bridging Visa A' will be activated, and I can live and work here unhindered. So far so good, but one has to remember this is only a temporary visa, before my final Spouse or Permanent Resident Visa is issued at some point in the future. Nevertheless, all the fees and solicitor costs are now paid, and it is now a waiting game, to see if I am accepted or not.

I completed my medical assessment several weeks ago and this will either give me the green light to stay, or signal our departure towards pastures new yet again. The results I have received back so far are good, but the major one isn't back yet. As part of the process I had to undergo a chest X-ray and as an ex smoker for the last thirty years, I am hoping nothing too major is flagged up, but only time will tell if that is the case. Everything else is perfect and good to go, I just hope this final hurdle is crossed without too much difficulty.

I have also got a job, one of the first I applied for, and will be starting as a Senior Manager for a large corporation just ten minutes from where I live now. The pay is double what I was earning in Britain, and it looks like this could be the job that secures my future in Australia.

Also on a positive note, we should now be able to buy a property early in the new year. We have both built up substantial savings and with a dual income, we have been told we can borrow up to $500,000. This will allow us to finally have a place of our own, not waste money on rent, and finally, after 27 years together, settle into Australian life.

The decision to leave The UK was always about taking a chance at a new life and as reluctant as I have been in the past, I am glad I threw caution to the wind and grasped the opportunity with both hands. I suppose the last few months in Britain showed me I had nothing to stay for, except the few friends I had made, and of course my Father. These important people will always be in my life wherever I am, here in Australia or in the UK, they will always have a pivotal role to play.

At 51 years old, I am glad to have made a decision to restart and reboot my life and hope everything turns out for the best. Both of us are travellers at heart, so in the worst case scenario, we will just continue what we enjoy doing most and take off on another impromptu expedition, looking out for another place to settle. We only get one chance in this World, and as my Father said to me recently, before I left, I have to make the most of my time and go where my heart desires. Whether this is my final destination or not, is irrelevant, the fact is, we are doing what we love; the hope is of course that the outcome is favourable, and we can finally leave the past behind!

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Boxing Day!

26/12/2022

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Christmas in Australia!

25/12/2022

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You can definitely tell you are in Australia, when you bump into a Praying Mantis on the Christmas decal outside the front door. They are actually quite harmless, but it did give me quite a fright, as I left the house for another walk on Saturday morning.

I am gradually getting more acquainted to the sounds and sites of Australia, which are so different to The UK. The colourful parrots resting on the overhead telephone wires, unfamiliar squawking and bird song, and of course, the different insects that are a big part of this place; even the ants are four times as big as those back home.

It has been a bit of a culture shock, being back in Perth, even though I have lived here twice before. Nevertheless, it is something I certainly need to get used to, which I am sure I will in time. Of course, the hotter it gets, the more creepy crawlies I am finding. No less than our resident 'Sally Spider' in the back garden. Still I am beginning to accept the differences and if I am honest, enjoying the experience, apart from the rather oversized cockroaches, which I will never get used to!

Once again, I took a seven-mile walk around to Woodbridge Lakes, which is quickly becoming one of my favourite places to go. Even the people there seem to be more friendly than elsewhere I have been - all of them passing the time of day and briefly exchanging pleasantries, as I walked around this stunning natural reserve just outside the City of Midland.


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Since it was Christmas Eve, I treated myself to a couple of pints of Carlton Draught in the afternoon, while out with friend and neighbour joy. We had the last of the Christmas shopping to get; luckily everything was fairly quiet, as we quickly grabbed a few last minute items from Midland Gate!

It was nice to wish the girls at The Swan View Tavern a Happy Christmas, since we hadn't seen them for quite a while. All of us have been so busy, that we just haven't had the time to pop into the pub to see everyone. They were as lovely as ever and I know we will be back before the year is out.


In the evening, we popped around to Joy's house for a few beers. This will be the first Christmas I have not been around my family in four years and despite the differences I am glad of the change. Mine and Darrell's life has always been full of variety, differences and alternative endings, so for us, it is just part of the course, it makes us who we are. Lucky enough, we adapt to situations pretty quickly and although invariably things never turn out the way we would like, we are happy enough to do the battling to get where we want to be.

This isn't the way I would personally celebrate Christmas, I am typically British when celebrating at this time of year, going all out to have the most enjoyable, over the top experience I can; this is a new level of commemorating the great day, and one I will have to get used to. Christmas is celebrated very differently over here, as it should be. Likewise, when we lived in Spain, we enjoyed the differences, in the same way we do today.

Of course, this was us looking in on someone else's festivities and not our own special day. Next year we would hope to do things as we would want and bring a little bit of Britain and Spain to Australia. A cold Christmas Dinner isn't particularly something I would do for myself, but with temperatures over 30 degrees, it is easy to see why! I mean, who the hell wants to be cooking in a kitchen when it is so hot anyway? Well, maybe next year that's exactly what I will do; for now I'm just happy I wasn't the one slaving away for a change!

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I did do my best to add a little bit of home to the festivities and despite my aversion to spending a fortune on chocolates and cakes, I did manage to pick up a distinctly Australian tin of Cadbury's Roses for $15.00, half the usual $30.00 they were on sale for at the beginning of the month. They are a little different to their British ancestors and actually taste far better, so definitely worth the money.

I also managed to get plumb pudding, Christmas cake and my favourite Stollen from Aldi. Everything here is far more expensive, but I have discovered this isn't too much of a problem, especially when you see turkey's being sold in the UK for £147.00 (Bird Flu, has apparently increased prices across the board.) All it really means is you buy less stuff to eat, think quality rather than quantity, and you don't over eat!

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We did exchange a few gifts, as we would in the UK. Rather than the over the top, bags and bags of presents, which really have little or no meaning, (just a sign of greed and gluttony, especially at a time of economic crisis, if you ask me,) we did give and receive a few select items, which had special meaning for us and meant for a more poignant occasion.

Equally, Christmas Dinner consisted of traditional turkey, ham and other meat, but there wasn't hours spent preparing and cooking; it was more of a buffet, and we could pick and choose what we wanted to eat, or even if we fancied anything at all. Remember, it was hot, very hot, so eating is the last thing on peoples minds.

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Spending time with family and friends is of course the best part of Christmas Day. Darrell's Aunty Alice, his Mother, neighbour Joy and friends Pete and Leanne; a group of lovely people, whose company I thoroughly enjoyed, made for an enjoyable day! Sometimes it's just nice to spend time in adult company, rather than having hoards of kids running about. I have never been a person who appreciates the company of children anyway, so it was nice to avoid that side of Christmas altogether. I have done my years, spending Christmas with Kids and all the tantrums that entails, I am just far happier doing what I want and not what others expect of me. This isn't a day for just kids, it is also a time for everyone to spend together and appreciate each other, without the arguments and outbursts that tend to come with larger family gatherings!

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With Dad at my Brother's in Basingstoke, there was no Christmas Day call, but then there never usually is anyway. We have never been that close, no matter how much I love him.

However, it was lovely to hear from the two people who have been there for Darrell and me throughout our journey, when we left the UK at the beginning of September. My dear friend John, who is really my family in every sense of the word. He has always been there for us, especially in recent months, and gave me a good laugh on a day when I needed it more than most. Like Darrell and me, John has very little family left now, so he will always be one of the most important people in our life, as he proved on Christmas Day.

I also heard from my dearest Brother from another Mother, Julio, who once again is the family I never had. We have kept in contact since leaving the UK, and he is so important to my sense of well-being. If I could have taken him with us, I would have; I miss his witty banter every day. He always put a smile on my face, and we have never had a crossed word in all the years I have known him. The hope is, both him and John will visit us in Australia at some stage. Along with the over two hundred messages I received yesterday, I am just so glad to feel loved; people truly care. This was a different Christmas day, but it was significant to end it was the two most important friends from the UK; this made my day perfect and one I will never forget!


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John Forrest National Park and Mundaring Weir!

1/12/2022

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John Forrest National Park

On Monday, Darrell and I took a trip to Mundaring via the John Forrest National Park. This area isn't too far from where we are living temporarily, situated in the hills surrounding Perth. When we reached the summit, we were able to take a look-out across the bush, towards the city itself. The views were stunning, and I was able to see for the first time, just how vast this tiny part of Western Australia is.

The bush itself is strangely beautiful, although in the blistering temperatures, it is difficult to appreciate it, in its full glory. Staying outside for longer than just a few minutes, does take it out of you. I was of course dosed up on factor 50 sunscreen, but even then, it is dangerous being outside for too long.

It is also snake and spider season, to my absolute dread, so walking through the bush can be hazardous, and I am learning pretty quickly where and where not to go. The news reports are constantly reminding us just how big the spiders are going to be this year, and if I wasn't paranoid already, I certainly am now. That said, I haven't seen any yet, although unlike the last two occasions I was in Australia, I am not going out of my way to find them.


Mundaring Weir

After the John Forrest National Park, we drove to the pretty town of Mundaring. This looked very much like a traditional small American town, the similarity was truly stark. Stood in the high street, I felt like I was in the deep south of The States. This was an area unlike Perth and the suburbs. Mundaring is rural, and as one drives through this town, one is struck by the colonial houses, large open plains and outback living. In many respects, it also looked very 'English' and wouldn't have looked out of place in the Hampshire countryside, where I grew up as a boy. Surprisingly for me, I liked it; the laid back atmosphere, appealed to my current state of mind and I could quite easily see myself living here.

There is of course a major downside to living in the bush; the wildlife is very different to back home. Mundaring may well have conjured up images of the countryside back home, but in reality it is nothing but. Someone once said to me, 'the trouble with Australia, is everything is trying to kill you.' Well, that's the feeling I get, especially when I am away from the city centre. I am literally looking over my shoulder, everywhere I go, just to make sure there is nothing lurking in the shadows.

In all honesty, I am probably being too careful; once I have been here for long enough, I'm sure my unsettled mind will calm down, and I will live happily, side by side with whatever is out there. For now, I am just making myself aware of my surroundings and getting used to the foreign nature of this land. I long for the day, spiders and snakes never cross my mind again, for now that's a way off yet.

The next stop, before we made our way home, was Mundaring Weir. This striking monument to Australia's water shortage was pretty impressive, although certainly not as big as I imagined. As we drove up to the dam, I was struck by the huge pipes littering the forested landscape. Darrell told me they were used, to transport water to Kalgoorlie, 700 km away. This mid-Australian gold mining town is where Darrell was born and has little to no water of its own, so Perth pipes this basic human requirement to the community, at great expense.

The weir itself provides a great vantage point for the outstanding views across the region and with the sun beating down, it did feel distinctly cooler. It was good spending time relaxing in a part of WA I haven't been too before. These aren't the spectacular views we experienced in Croatia and Thailand, but they are still markedly different from the UK and provide an insight into a part of the World I hope to call home; only time will tell if that happens or not. At the moment, I am happy to keep exploring and enjoying the biggest state in Western Australia. In a few months I may well have no spare time on my hands; it's guess work as to what happens in the future, but at least we have each other, no matter what happens down the line.

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That's All Folks!

1/9/2022

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Cancer Research


Tesco


Newcome Arms

Well Thursday really was an emotional day, as I said farewell to friends and colleagues from Tesco, The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research - all places I have worked since my return to Portsmouth from Spain in 2018. To say leaving Portsmouth, even for a year, will be an enormous wrench is somewhat of an understatement. Emotions really have been running high for me, as I have said my goodbyes to some fantastic friends. I am not a person who cries easily, so Thursday just showed me how lucky I am, having made some wonderful memories with some truly amazing characters; the tears did flow briefly, as I said one last au revoir to everyone who has played an important role in my life over the last four years. In the main, however, they were tears of happiness, as bonds were cemented, and I realised these were friends for life, wherever I am in the World.

In many respects, this week has been a Godsend. Realising I was finally about to leave the UK on the trip of a lifetime, I started to relax and enjoy the final few days here in Portsmouth. With only two days left, I am content with the choice I have made and look forward to the future. It has also been a hard seven days, having to wear a mask at work and keep my distance as much as possible, as I prepare for the long flight to Australia. Having been planning this journey for about six weeks, I have become drained and run down from all the preparation. It has been hard getting to this point, but the days of Darrell and I, spontaneously getting up and going, are well and truly over; this is the adventure of a lifetime, and it has to be done right.

So many people have wanted to say goodbye, that we have been living an emotional tight rope for a while now. Ever since I announced I was taking a lifestyle break from work, I have had so many colleagues asking to spend time with us, that I have been taken aback. A year really is a long time, and Darrell and I realise how important it is to connect with those close before we go. I hope to be back in twelve months, but who knows what will happen.

Apart from going to see my Father, that really is it, the end of our time in the UK for a while. Our life will now consist of traversing the World, experiencing new cultures and living out of a suitcase. This isn't everyone's cup of tea; travelling isn't always glamorous, it does have its downsides. We will be away from family and friends for an extended period and unable to enjoy that one to one interaction, that I so adore. I am a social animal first and want that close contact, on a one to one basis, but I am also someone who needs to explore, looking for answers and reaching out for new and inspiring experiences. It is a choice to travel for most, but for us, it is a way of life, that we haven't experienced for a very long time, since 2019. This is a time of great excitement, but also of trepidation and nervousness.

As I sat on the checkouts completing my last shift on Wednesday, ironically training a new member of staff, on the very till I was first trained on nearly four and a half years previously, a colleague approached and tapped me on the shoulder. Whispering in my ear, she told me a customer, who had become close over the years, had died that very morning. Her sister wanted to come over and see me before I left. This dear lady spoke so eloquently of her sister's last moments, ending by saying, she had hoped 'I had already left on my travels,' because of how difficult it was to tell me of her sister Pats passing. An emotional day, had just become even more emotional, and I was left feeling rather empty after the news. As someone who believes in fate, I truly believe this was meant to be and gave me the green light to leave Fratton, embarking on a new but thought-provoking journey.

So many friends and colleagues have signed cards and given me small gifts and tokens of friendship to take with me. I have been overwhelmed by their generosity and care, and moved by the words they have said. One of my closest colleagues gave me a compass, reminding me, that wherever I was in the World, she would 'find me.' She, like so many others, will always be a part of my life, and I am so happy to have met her and everyone else. My closest friend Jules gave me a beautiful card, (below) and 'Tree of Life' pendant, signifying, according to him, my independence, uniqueness and family bonds. In all but name he is the Brother I never had, and this gift will always link us together, as both of us go our separate ways for now.

From my job at Tesco, I went to The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research, where I made my final farewells to people who have been so important to me during my years here. Walking back into The Newcome felt like coming home; as I sat chatting over a pint of Stella and packet of crisps, I was reminded of where it all started in 2018. I haven't been back here for a while due to work commitments, but I spent many years working here and needed to say goodbye. Yes I know this is a lifestyle break and not forever, but with the world the way it is, I worry when I come back, nothing will be the same again; saying cheerio means closure, so I can happily go off on my mission to find myself....again!

From The Newcome it was on to Cancer Research in Commercial Road for a glass or two of Prosecco and some typically uplifting banter. This is the reason I started volunteering and why I kept coming back. The volunteers and Zerina, especially, are amazing individuals; when Darrell got a job with the shop, I knew how happy he would also be, and I wasn't wrong. I know it is so hard for him leaving everybody, but like me, he has made some memorable friendships. These are people who will always remain in both our hearts, they are quite simply the best of British and the most hard-working, down to earth bunch I have ever known.
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Last visit to see Dad

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Today, a friend from work who I missed yesterday, popped a card and a bottle of wine round. She wanted to come and see me before I left. Once again, I can not stress enough how deeply moved I have been by everyone's good wishes, it really means a lot. As a friend from Spain told me recently, rightly or wrongly, I have touched many lives; I just hope I have done so in a positive way. Angela has always been a beautiful soul, sharing mine and Darrell's love of cats, and has been a great friend during my tenure at Tesco. I will of course see her and everyone else again, but for now I am just happy for the love they have shown.

After Angela's impromptu visit, my Aunty Trisha, Darrell and I went to Titchfield to see my Father. This will be the last time I see him for a while, and I wanted to make sure he was OK. It is true to say I am worried about Dad. He is seventy-five years old and looking a little frail these days, but he repeated how well he was, and I should go off on my travels and not look back.

That is easier said than done. Although I don't see Dad as often as I would like, I enjoy being close by. When my Mother suddenly died in 2019, I was grateful to be near to my Father and glad to be able to do something to ease his pain. If anything happens to him while I am away, it will be harder to return quickly. Nevertheless, he assured me he was fine once again, and I have to take his word for it, after all I have no reason not to. I will naturally worry about him, but will check in as often as I can.

Dad gave me a deeply personal parting gift and a bunch of letters he had found, that I had sent Mum back in 1995. One of them was the very letter I wrote to her, coming out as gay, and my God did that bring back some emotions. My life may well be different to what Dad ever expected or even desired, but it is mine to own, and I have tried to live it as best I can. The unconventional nature of our relationship, separated at times by thousands of miles, has kept us strong as a couple. Our home will always be here in the United Kingdom, after all it's where we live, but torn between two diverging worlds it is our fate to travel, often for long periods of time. We will both know when the time is right to settle down, but for now we will keep following our heart on this endless journey that seems to never ends.

Bye bye UK, I'll see you soon!

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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
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