On Wednesday, Darrell and I went to London for the day, as part of my week off, celebrating my Birthday. It is the first time we have been to London in about ten years, normally only ever driving past the place to Heathrow or Stanstead Airport. I had managed to book some cheap train tickets during the recent rail fare sale, so at a cost of £24.00 for two of us, we took a train ride to London and back. The train journey was longer than usual, with the train stopping at every stop, but it didn't make any difference, in fact it was nice to just sit for a couple of hours, watching the day pass by!

After arriving in London, the rain began to fall. As we made our way to Hyde Park and The Princess Diana Memorial Fountain, the rain gradually got worse, evidently setting in for the day. The fountain itself was dreadful, probably the worst tribute I have ever seen for anyone, especially someone of her stature. It was souless, drab and without personality, all words I wouldn't use to describe Diana. Suitably disappointed and with the rain beginning to pour, Darrell and I jumped back on the tube and made our way to China Town for lunch.

China Town, near Piccadilly Circus, is colourful and vibrant, even during the worst of rainstorms. As we arrived in the underground station, an announcement was made, urging customers to take care, during the adverse weather conditions. Our trip to London looked like it would be a washout, and I wasn't holding my breath for a great day, especially with an Australian in tow, who hates the rain.

After wandering around the lantern clad streets, which felt a lot like Kowloon, we went into the Hong Kong Buffet, for an £11.95 lunch and glass of wine. The food was fine, all bog-standard stuff, but certainly filled a hole, ready for the rest of the day and a lot of walking.

We made a short stop at Harrods, where I bought some gifts from the shop. Initially I thought I would buy the typical Harrods plastic bag, but at a cost of £30.00, I thought better of it. This historic department store in the heart of London, seemed different from the last time I visited; It is indeed overpriced, but it was more than that, it was not the sparkling oasis it once was, and I will not be going there again.

Suitably unimpressed, we headed to Covent Garden and had an amazing afternoon, exploring shops and market stalls, buying some cheap souvenirs and a couple of stylish berets from a hat stall. Feeling knackered, we had a few pints in the Punch and Judy public house, built into the arches in the corner of the market. I felt relaxed sat in the relative cosy atmosphere and despite paying over seven pounds a pint, it was a highlight of the day, just being able to do absolutely nothing.

We walked along Embankment, towards Parliament Square and Whitehall, taking in the sights and sounds of the city and the breathtaking architecture.  The skyline had changed a lot since I was last in London, and as we walked along The Thames, the noticeable additions to the city scape were all too clear to see. The House of Commons and more especially The Elizabeth Tower looked glowing, as the sun began to finally come out, after the deluge of the day. Its recent facelift had brought the original blue and gold colours to the fore, and I have never seen it looking so good. This part of London is always impressive, so I am rarely disappointed, but its familiarity is always welcome, especially as we headed towards the end of the day.

Walking down Whitehall, past the cenotaph, just outside Downing Street, there was a small demonstration, against the war in Ukraine. The speakers were very emotional, unsurprisingly, and Darrell and I crossed over to stand and listen for a short while. The scenes of horror being described were unimaginable to most of us here in the relative safety of the UK, but resonated with all of us who were there. After pausing for a minute's silence, a Ukrainian gentleman approached me, and asked if I would take some photographs of the banners he had made to highlight the atrocities in the war. It was very poignant, and as we walked towards Trafalgar Square and our final destination, I was mindful of the tumultuous times we were all living through. London has always been a welcoming city, and just as it has offered sanctuary to other nationalities in times of war, so today It was opening its doors to our friends in Ukraine. The fact a peaceful demonstration can take place opposite the Prime Minister's residence is testimony to our long-established democracy, unlike the totalitarian regime in Russia.

In the end, Darrell and I had a wonderful day in London, ending my Birthday week perfectly, as I go back to work tomorrow. Neither of us see the capital often, but when we do, it never ceases to amaze. Walking around its crazy streets, I thought how much I loved the place and even, just for a fleeting  moment, how I might like to live in this buzzing metropolis. Of course the reality is, I could never afford it, but it is nice to dip in and out at will and enjoy a fun packed day in London, a city of contrasts and a melting pot of cultures!

Princess Diana Memorial Fountain, Hyde Park

China Town and Piccadilly Circus

Harrods, Knightsbridge

Covent Garden

Embankment

Parliament and Whitehall

Demonstration opposite Downing Street, protesting against the war in Ukraine.

Trafalgar Square

I have reached the age of 51, a milestone in my book. Too many people I have known from my partying days, on the Southampton gay scene, are no longer with us and if I am honest, I am amazed I have made it this far. I have bucked my ideas up, lost weight and got fitter, that's for sure, and I have finally started to think about my health in a way I haven't before. Feeling fit, I am in a much happier place than I was!

On Sunday, my Aunt took all the family out to Gunwharf Quays and a meal at Bella Italia. There were nine of us in total, including, most surprisingly, my Father, who had travelled down to Portsmouth to spend the day with us. This was a big thing for Dad, as he rarely leaves the boundary of his home and certainly hasn't navigated public transport in probably forty years. However, instead of driving, he got on a train and made his way to Gunwharf, arriving in one piece.

It was a beautiful day on Sunday, as we all sat outside having a drink before lunch and more importantly, Dad seemed relaxed, chatting with family, something he hasn't done for a long time, probably since Mother's funeral. I was just happy to see him with us all, in a way he would have found difficult, just a few short months ago. This was the most relaxed I had felt in months, spending a valuable afternoon with my nearest and dearest, all together as a family, since the pandemic started two years ago!

After a lovely meal at Bella Italia and a few more beers, we all made our way to Bar One, just around the corner from the restaurant, and spent a lazy afternoon chatting in the sun. My Cousin Rachel, in her own unique way, was on top form. I haven't seen my Father laugh so much in years, and it was thanks in no small part to Rachel, whose sense of humour is infectious. This was a Birthday meal to celebrate my fifty-one years, but it was more than that, it was a day to be thankful that all our family were once again together as a unit, after two years of hell!

Yesterday, on the day of my Birthday, Darrell and I went to meet friends in Southampton. I haven't been back to the place since I returned from Spain, so in many respects it was a bit of a pilgrimage, to see how it has changed over the intervening years. It is always a pleasure returning to my old University city, being there does evoke happier times, spent with friends during those care free days from my youth. Of course much of the city has changed, and it has lost a lot of its charm, but the fabric is still there, and I will always recognise it as home!

For the first time since 2020 I was able to spend time with two friends, Elaine and Chris, who are very important to me. These two have been there through thick and thin and seen me at the best and worst of times, so it was essential to connect with them after the pandemic. My Birthday was the perfect opportunity to spend some time in a city I love with two friends I adore; without them, my life would certainly have been all the poorer.

It has been a very thought-provoking few days, spent with people I love, which is what Birthdays should be about. It wasn't what I would have planned to do, but it has been special nevertheless. Spending the day in London tomorrow will signal the end of another year gone by, and I hope the beginning of a new, better twelve months ahead. Nothing is for certain as the World continues to explode around us. All our circumstances feel uncertain and precarious right now, but at least there are friends and family to help get us through. These are the important ones, the ones who mean everything, the people we often take for granted, the people who remained steadfast, loyal and true!

With my Birthday approaching on the 9th May, I have taken a week off work, as I always do at this time of year. Usually I would be planning to go to some far-flung destination on the other side of the World, but since the pandemic I haven't travelled abroad and have decided to give flying a wide berth this year; I am just not ready to get on a plane yet.

Three years ago was the last time I went abroad, when Darrell and I toured Asia, since then I haven't had a break at all. If I am honest, the lack of travelling is beginning to get me down. I am a wonderer at heart, and I miss navigating the World, experiencing diverse cultures and enjoying the sights, sounds and smells, that only exploring can bring, as I have done throughout my adult life. By September, I hope to once again get on a plane, taking two weeks off, so we can both celebrate our anniversary away from the drudgery of the UK. That of course depends on the state of the World and whether there are restrictions in place, or we aren't in the middle of a third World war. For now, I am setting my sites on a no expense spared trip in four months, and I am more than willing to spend another Birthday at home.

This year I am visiting friends and family, spending time with those closest and just enjoying some well deserved time out. Tomorrow, my Father is coming to Portsmouth and nine of us will be going out for a large family meal at Gunwharf Quays. Dad doesn't get out much, so it will be wonderful to see him away from home. In the evening, Darrell and I will spend time with my best friend Ramona in Southampton and see other old friends on Monday. Wednesday we will both spend the day in London, enjoying the sites of this incredible city, we rarely get to see.

Yesterday, both of us went out for a walk along the Eastern Shore in Portsmouth with a colleague and friend from work, Sue. It was fantastic to just get away from the city centre for a bit, which does tend to grate on one at times. As I have grown older, I have become less interested in urban living, preferring the more rural areas surrounding this great naval city. As a young boy who grew up in a village, I have certainly become more appreciative of the quiet life. I yearn for a more relaxing existence, but am well aware of the difficulties this presents. As someone who doesn't drive, with a partner who has made a conscious decision not to buy a car, I understand I need to be near the amenities I take for granted every day.

I look forward to a productive few days with people I haven't seen in a while. As I reach the grand old age of 51, I am spending more and more time thinking about the memories that made me who I am today. I do miss certain aspects of my past life in Southampton, so relish the opportunity to see those who were there for me then. It has been seven years since I lived there, so I have a lot of catching up to do. Birthdays are a time to celebrate life, but they are also a time to remember all the momentous occasions that came before. Making time for others is important, especially after the trauma of the last few years.

This week marked the end of an era, where work was concerned. After four years working at The Newcome Arms, I completed my last shift on Wednesday night. It has been a huge wrench leaving the pub, I have been a part of for so long, but as my circumstances have changed, so has my outlook on life. I have been given the opportunity to do more hours in my full time job, the money is better, and sadly new commitments would have overlapped with my bar duties, so something just had to give. I literally can't be in two places at once, so as much as I wanted to stay around friends, it wasn't an option. Saying goodbye to some truly remarkable people was extremely difficult, and the reality is, I don't know if I have made the right decision, yet!

All of us reach a crossroads in our life, when it is important to make choices for the future. This week has been a significant milestone for me in determining my own destiny. The Newcome Arms was a crucial first step in returning to British life in 2018, after living in Spain, and it got me through some awfully dark days. The people I worked with and the customers who frequented this backstreet bar, were instrumental in getting me through, what I can only describe as the most traumatic years of my life.

With Darrell living ten thousand miles away in Australia, my bar work gave my an outlet to socialise with people, when I needed the company of others most. Having one's husband living on the other side of the World, was extremely hard to deal with, so conversation and interaction was critical. In many respects, my worries took a back seat while I was here, and that was a good thing. I didn't want or need to be thinking about my own woes on a daily basis, any distraction was welcome!

The pandemic brought me closer to the pub, despite being furloughed on occasion. The time I spent there became more valuable than ever; the World may well have been falling apart around me, but it was the people there that put everything into perspective. Their sense of community in abnormal times was refreshing and allowed me to forget about the dramatic events happening across the globe. This pub became the backbone I needed and the normality I craved, this was my escape and my reason to get out of bed!

I will always have fond memories of The Newcome Arms and will do my best to return when I can. As my life moves forwards, onwards and hopefully upwards, it's good to know some things never change. This pub in the heart of Fratton will be there, long after I have gone, It's illuminating light shining brightly, welcoming all of us home. The Newcome Arms will remain a reality check for friends, family and neighbours, returning for those significant events in all our lives.

The day after I left the pub, a colleague I worked with left for a well deserved retirement. It was of course a sad day for all of us who knew Sue, but it was also a signal of the changing times. No matter where we work or what job we do, there will come a time when we have to move on, for our own personal fulfilment.

Sue was a wonderful character, who was a joy to be around, always happy to help out when she could and a great source of advice. We were so similar in many ways and always had a lot to chat about, which made for a productive, friendly environment in which to work. I will miss her, as I know many of my colleagues will also and if I am honest, a bit of me is envious of the plans she has for the future. Like me, she used to live in Spain and returning to the UK was a hard path to tread; as she steps into the unknown one last time and takes a final bow, I know all of us wish her success in all her endeavours!

Sue's departure cemented the end of an era, both of us travelling on two very different journeys but with two similar aims - the beginning of a new life! Darrell and I have started to think about the future, and leaving The Newcome is the start of that process. Both of us intend to be in Portsmouth for at least four more years, by which time I can officially retire, given the right circumstances of course. Until then, we will keep on forging our new life together, working towards our goals, creating memories, cherishing friendships and earning enough money to eventually live, the life both of us desire!

Chichester

Two days off in a row – unheard of for me! This weekend, I've actually enjoyed some quality time out and about, during the Easter weekend. I don't often have this much time off, especially on a Sunday, so I have made the most of it. The weather has been amazingly sunny and for once it has been a pleasure being outside. Still saving hard, I always find it difficult spending money, but for the first time in I don't know how long, I've thrown caution to the wind and actually enjoyed myself!

On Friday, Darrell and I went to the historic city of Chichester and did some sightseeing, enjoying the idyllic surroundings of Chichester Cathedral, where I lit a candle for Mum. We walked along the old city walls and enjoyed the immaculate Bishop's garden. As is usual when we go out, we ate lunch at Pizza Express, a pricey, but thoroughly authentic pizza dining experience, that I save only for days like this. Having travelled to Italy on five different occasions, I find Pizza Express offers the best pizza outside the Motherland.

Chichester was a delight as usual, even if I did feel rather old walking around the centre. In my younger days, I wouldn't have even considered going to this picturesque city, but time has moved on and so have I. I have mellowed immeasurably  and grown to appreciate such places, even if they are a little middle class for my taste!

Today we had Easter Day lunch at the Ship and Castle, near The Hard in Portsmouth. This was a place recommended by a friend; supposedly it has the best carvery in Portsmouth, and to be honest I wasn't disappointed. The food was delicious and yes it was the best roast I have had here, for a reasonable 12.95 a head. I will certainly be back, should I have a Sunday off again.

Darrell and I also visited the Historic dockyard and were suitably impressed by the Royal Navy's flagship HMS Queen Elizabeth. The sheer size of it was awe-inspiring. Of course, HMS Victory and Warrior are just as spectacular, but their size pales in comparison to this amazing new aircraft carrier. This landmark location in Southsea is a true asset to Portsmouth and certainly worth visiting, even, if like us, it was a brief stroll around the vast complex.

From the dockyard, we walked to the Cathedral, the tree outside adorned with Ukrainian ribbons, adding a touch of poignancy this Easter, as the European war rages on. After a moment of reflection, we continued on to Southsea funfair, where we saw the Hovercraft leave for the Isle of Wight. These all but retired vessels are incredible to watch, as they leave port, always giving me a thrill. After a leisurely walk along the front, in the afternoon sun, we finally left for home.

Spending money I shouldn't, sends a shudder down my spine, nevertheless I have felt calm and chilled in a way I haven't recently. Both Darrell and I have been able to spend time together, which is rare. Both of us need to do it more and make time for one another. The Hard is only a twenty-minute walk from our house, so there is really no excuse. Life is very frugal for us, but we can do things cheaply and economically, we just have to make the effort in the first place!

I hope you all had a happy Easter!

The Hard

Whatever television station you watch or newspaper you read, you can't fail to avoid the emerging 'cost of living crisis' unfolding before our very eyes. I can't remember a time when I have been so aware of rising prices, soaring inflation and dramatic hikes in the cost of utility bills. Using the word 'crisis' has been criticised for its dramatic, frightening cogitations, but when one looks at the economic uncertainty across the globe, it is clear this is appropriate for the times we are living though. These are momentous months for many reasons, not just the cost of living, but when looks at the different factors at play in this 'new World order,' it is clear there has been a significant shift, creating the most unstable economic conditions for over forty years or more. These are difficult days for everyone, and we need to understand just how serious this situation is. This isn't something that can be solved quickly, all of us will have to battle to keep our heads above water.

The seeds of this current crisis were sown in 2016, after Britain voted to leave the European Union. No one really expected the UK to remain the economic power house it was after we voted to leave, and if they did, they were seriously deluded. I was someone who envisaged a time of upheaval and hardship, but like most people, I believed it would be a temporary blip, and we would overcome the problems relatively quickly. Brits are a hardy bunch, and we have lived through worse periods in history. With fortitude, faith, and backbone, it wouldn't be too long before we were back on track again.

At the time of the vote, I was living in Spain with Darrell. We lived a relatively frugal existence; with my husband flying back to Australia regularly, I learnt to live on a small budget of 30 Euro a week. Life was hard, but the sun was shining and life was good. I loved my new Spanish home and believed I would remain an expat for many years to come.

Of course nothing lasts forever and in 2018 I moved back to the UK for family reasons, as Darrell continued to commute From Europe to Australia, caring for his Mother after her cancer diagnosis. These were arduous years for us, as we tried to restructure our  life to suit our changing circumstances. Darrell would fly to Britain when he could, and I would travel to Asia once a year; it was an arrangement that worked well until the pandemic crashed head long into all our lives in 2020.

The biggest factor in the current 'cost of living crisis is of course COVID-19. The money spent by Governments all over the World propping up ailing economies throughout the worst of this virus was huge, unlike anything any of us had ever seen. Locking down a country isn't a cheap option. The British Government alone spent hundreds of billions of pounds paying staff to stay at home, as businesses remained closed for months on end. Even I was paid a wage, even though the pub where I worked was closed. At the time it was great, but all that money has to eventually be paid back.

The pandemic still rages on, although as a nation, Britain is learning to live with it. It is unlikely we will ever be locked down again, but we will be living with the consequences of COVID for many years to come. The vast sums spent keeping families afloat, while they languished at home is shocking to contemplate, but the hangover from this strange period is only just beginning today, two years later. After Brexit, no one expected a public health crisis, and the British economy has suffered untold amounts of damage. Through mismanagement, waste of public money and falling tax receipts, it was only a matter of time before we started to feel the pinch; from 1 April that process of 'paying back' began.

They say bad things come in threes, well there is yet another catastrophe looming on the horizon, with war in Europe looking ever more likely! After Brexit and a global pandemic, the World is now on the brink of World War III, as Russia invades Ukraine. Yet another disaster of incalculable magnitude, after a series of bad choices and unforeseen circumstances; conflict is now unfolding on the continent, as the daily news reports, uncompromising rhetoric and threats from Russian President, Vladimir Putin become increasingly worrying and venomous. The death and destruction, economic sanctions and refugee crisis has started to reverberate across the planet; all of us have begun to suffer the knock on effects of the war in Ukraine.

The cost of everything is going up. As the fighting intensifies, oil prices have skyrocketed, causing massive increases in the cost of oil. Gas, electric, and petrol are all significantly higher than they were and people, already feeling strapped for cash, are now feeling the squeeze tightened further. Inflation is creeping up and looks likely to top ten percent by the end of the year. As sure as night follows day, interest rates will undoubtedly rise, causing a drastic increase in mortgages. Food prices are exploding; as someone who shops in a supermarket daily, I am well aware of the increases. The new European war has curtailed the flow of trade between Ukraine and the rest of the World, making resources scarcer. The breadbasket of Europe is no longer exporting wheat, and the rest of us will have to pay sharply more for a loaf of bread and other products once transported from Ukraine.

I am well aware of the cost of the things I buy; I have seen my shopping bill nearly double since the pandemic, and it isn't going to change anytime soon. When the price cap on gas and electric was abandoned yesterday, utility bills rose by 54% immediately. I am luckier than most, because I do not pay bills where I am living, but will contribute more in other ways, helping to alleviate the costs involved. With higher tax and many of the measures introduced during the pandemic coming to an end, ordinary people are feeling the economic pressure. The cost of living crisis is causing the biggest drain on incomes since the 1950s, and none of us are fully aware of the consequences of circumstances, that are compounding the intensity of this dangerous crossroads. Whether or not families survive the next few years very much depends on the different factors at play. The biggest concern for everyone now is the Ukrainian war and just how long it goes on for, affecting all our lives.

For now, Darrell and I are fine. However, we don't have a home to keep and can save money relatively easily. My goals and aspirations still remain on track, with the possibility of early retirement in four years time, funding a new life in Portugal or somewhere a little more conventional. My future plans are very dependent on how well my pension does and my scope to save the maximum amount of money in order to buy a home. I can only rely on my own frugal abilities, rather like I did when I lived in Spain, but ultimately remain at the mercy of events beyond my control. As usual, being the realist I am, I expect the worst but hope for the best; lets pray the World returns to normal soon and all of us can finally breathe a sigh of relief, restarting where we left off in 2019!

Spring has sprung, the sun is shining and for the first time in many weeks, I am feeling great. The World is indeed in a mess and my anxiety is the worst it's ever been, but I have decided to start living again. For too long, I have been shut inside, watching distressing news bulletins about the war in Ukraine and scaring myself half to death. It really is time to get up, get out and enjoy what life has to offer.

Darrell and I have more or less decided not to go on holiday abroad once again this year. COVID is still rife and with the Ukrainian war getting more terrible by the day, we both feel it is safer to stay in Britain. The south coast does have a lot to explore in terms of natural beauty and things to do, so compared to most, we are relatively lucky. This week, we have started to live a little better.

On Saturday, we both took the day off to go on a bit of a ramble with friends around Rowlands Castle and Stansted House. The day was wonderfully sunny, probably the best day we have had, since summer drew to a close last year. With three dogs, we walked a rather hefty ten miles to the seventeenth century style house, through wooden grounds, still drying out from the depths of winter. As you would expect, we were all rather muddy by the end of the day.

The countryside around the house is stunning, and it felt good to take in some fresh air and enjoy a relaxing walk in the warm spring sun. Chatting with friends, a chocolate brownie or two to keep us going and at the end of our walk, a rather large slice of cake and a coffee in the grounds of the hall. I felt energised and happy to have enjoyed a change of scenery, a pleasant change from the concrete jungle I usually inhabit. Both Darrell and I need more days like this, especially now with summer knocking on the door.

Today, Darrell and I went to see my Father; I had a dentists' appointment at the BUPA clinic in Fareham, so took the opportunity to see Dad at the same time. Tooth pulled out, we went for a bite to eat (yet another slice of cake) and caught up on all the local gossip. This cake eating is getting a little habitual now and while I'm still keeping my weight firmly in check, it's not something I want to do too much; It was bloody gorgeous though, the best carrot cake I've ever tasted.

We also spent time at Titchfield Abbey, an old family friend as it were. As children, we would often walk to the old castle, a short stroll from our house. Dad and I have many happy family memories there, long summer days, picnics in the park and playing football. Yes, there was a time I kicked a ball about, though don't expect it to happen these days.

The last time we visited the old place was ten years ago, when Darrell's family stayed with us from Croatia. It has changed a lot, since I was a child, seeming much smaller than I remember, but it still holds some amazing memories for me, as does the village of Titchfield itself. I suppose the older I get, the more I appreciate the area where I grew up, and the truth is, I do miss it somewhat. In many respects, it is comforting Dad still lives locally, because it does give me the excuse to visit once in a while.

I hope to spend more time travelling through the UK this summer and enjoy all this country has to offer. With Darrell finally home, it seems like the perfect opportunity to explore the British Isles. Whilst I won't be gallivanting to distant shores, I will be revisiting old roots and hopefully seeing even more hidden treasures. I may moan about Britain more than I should, but the reality is, I can't think of anywhere better I'd like to live, certainly not in this World, full of turmoil and pain.

With Storm Eunice causing havoc across the UK today, I have decided to stay inside with Darrell. Each year I have a 'personal day,' time off from work, over and above my normal holiday, and it just so happened to fall on the day, the biggest storm in a generation hit the south coast of England. To be honest, it has just given me the opportunity to relax, chill and take some much-needed time for myself. I am mindful of just how bad this storm could be, however. Looking outside the window, the strong winds are clear to see; rubbish and debris is blowing in the air during strong gusts and walls and fences have collapsed in the street.

Sitting, reflecting on today's storm force winds, I am left wondering just what is going on, in this chaotic World we are living in. If you could transport me back to 2019, I would gladly leave tomorrow. The last few years, since the loss of my Mother, have been terrible in every respect. The Pandemic emphasises just how awful the planet has become. The scenes on our television sets, recording mounting deaths daily, brought home the scale of mother nature. I have suffered from low mood and depression for quite a number of months now; with more and more bad news, from every part of the planet, highlighted on our television screens daily, there are times, I just want to hide away and forget this time exists.

As a child, I was always fearful of war. Growing up in the 1980s, during the height of the Cold War, I was always aware of what could happen. I would spend night after night worrying about nuclear war, especially after watching the film 'Threads.' This film documented a fictional nuclear attack on the city of Sheffield; its powerful imagery has always remained with me. As communism collapsed, so the Cold War ended and the World seemed a much safer place to live. The threat of war quickly receded and the nightmares I had as a child disappeared; finally, I could breathe a sigh of relief.

Nothing is forever, as they say; with a despot like Putin in charge of Russia, it looks like we are heading into another Cold War. Tensions are high in Ukraine and Western nations have warned we could even be on the cusp of a dangerous European war, at the end of the COVID-19 pandemic. This is a time in history that appears to be the most dangerous in my lifetime. 2022, isn't a great time to be alive, I have never felt so uneasy. I believe we are heading into a period of great turmoil, but more importantly, change; a crossroads in all our lives.

If I was a religious man, I would say that it really does feel like the 'end of days' at the moment. The World seems chaotic, directionless and, with the rise of dictators like Putin, without moral compass. The pandemic has highlighted just how vulnerable we are and how easy it is to upset the delicate environmental balance that keeps us in check. I have never understood the inhumane nature of people. Whether a tyrant ruling a country or a sociopath at the top of Oxfam, these individuals exist, to the detriment of the rest of us. There is very little we can do on the surface to rid ourselves of cretinous leaders who lord over us, but we can distance ourselves from the worst influences in our own lives.

I have tried very hard to change my life for the better, especially during this pandemic. The last two years reminds me very much of my own struggles in life. Just as you think you have turned a corner for the better, something else comes along to push you right back to where you started. The next few years will more than likely be more of the same, so it looks like we will have to batten down the hatches and make the most of what we have. I very much look forward to a time, when we can live in peace and normality, but until then, we can always remember the good times… Times that will most certainly return once again!

It has been a little over four years since Darrell was granted his Spanish residency in December 2017, and my God, a lot has happened since. In 2017, we were very much looking forward to our new life in Gran Alacant, enjoying living on the continent and the Spanish way of life. Today in 2022, we are firmly but in many respects reluctantly committed to settling in Britain; not what we planned, but at least we are together.

Today, Darrell received his UK settlement status for a second time, after what has been the most turbulent five years in our life. Darrell was originally given 'Indefinite Leave to Remain' in 2001, but after changes to immigration law, the introduction of a new biometrics card and dramatic changes to our circumstances, he was forced to reapply for the same status yet again. Living outside Australia for nearly two years, caring for Mum, only complicated our situation further. When one adds Brexit and a Worldwide pandemic into the mix, you can see, just how precarious our situation was.

Since his return to the UK in September, we have both been living under a cloud, not knowing if he would be allowed to live here permanently or not. However, after consulting a solicitor at great expense, we were able to establish a legal basis for settlement, and he was finally given back his right of abode. It has been a long, difficult journey getting here; despite our current situation, we are both determined to make the most of our life together and forge a future at least in part based in the UK.

Being around family has been amazing over the last four years, especially whilst living through a pandemic, it has given us both a reason to stay in this part of the World. We have grown close to our cousins and family in a way we haven't before and for that reason, I couldn't be happier. There is nevertheless a profound sense of disappointment that we couldn't continue our journey in Spain, and I will forever wonder what could have been. Despite the sadness we feel, we are both well aware of just how much the World has changed over the last two years in particular, and believe our life in Spain would have been cut short in any eventuality.

Today we both have the luxury of planning for yet another new future, whether on the south coast, or further afield in Lancashire, an area we know well. Neither of us know where life will take us from now, but we are determined to make the most of the opportunities we have and hope the next five years will be a little easier than the last!

Last week I went out for a meal and a few drinks with colleagues. This was the first time I had been out with people from work in a long time, just before the start of the pandemic. This was a nice, chilled and relaxing evening, and it felt good to be socialising on this kind of level once again. Of course, it still wasn't the same as it was before COVID, with fewer customers than I remember, but at least the restaurant was open and there were customers, enjoying each other's company. Laughing and joking, deep in conversation, everyone was happy to be out, without a care in the World, living life like it was 2018.

Could this really be a taste of the future, I ask myself? Are we finally coming out of this pandemic? Well, from what the experts are saying, Britain, ahead of much of the World, is moving back towards normality, as we enter a new phase, living with COVID-19. All of us will have to live alongside it and get used to being far more cautious around others, in a personal, measured way, continuing to protect ourselves on a daily basis. I, for one, will continue to wear my mask in a work and professional setting. That is a personal choice and I don't need the Government to give me guidance, especially since they haven't followed rules themselves.

The latest news conference from the Government made it clear, that restrictions will now be lifted and by March of this year, there will be no more controls in place. It is a scary thought, living in a World without limitations, as it was before 2019, but as disconcerting as that feels, I am well aware of the importance of living my life to the full. I want to start travelling, picking up from where I left off, surrounding myself with friends and family in the same way I used to. Most importantly, I want to stop being afraid of a virus that I can't do anything about.

As Britain returns to normal, it is important we remain aware of Coronavirus, because it will be around for a very long time yet. We shouldn't, however, let it impact on our lives negatively any longer. Everyone I know wants to move forwards, all of us have wasted too many precious months, living under the constraints of COVID-19. It may well be time to throw the masks in the bin, but it is also a period to remain aware of just what could happen again in the future. Taking responsibility for our own actions should be our overriding priority, as we navigate the new World COVID has left behind!