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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Ryanair!

29/9/2017

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On September 18th 2017 Ryanair announced a huge number of flight cancellations. Over the next six weeks it planned, to cancel between 40 and 50 flights a day; a spokesman confirmed:
'We messed up planning of pilot holidays!'
Recently, they have announced further disruption, continuing up until March 2018, as they get to grips with mismanagement and inappropriate short term policies, without a thought for those who have booked holidays. Consumers and the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) are up in arms about Ryanair's failures and conceited, misleading way in which it is dealing with its own internal problems. Consumers are being effected in a way they never have been before and it seems on the surface at least, they can not do anything about it, at least for now. In time the compensation claims will  roll in , as people realise the extent of their losses.  Angry customers equal lost revenue for this airline, many never returning to use them again.  Make no mistake, claim for everything; don't let this terrible company get away with a single Euro!

A friend of ours, Nathan arrives on Monday,  flying with Ryanair; as far as we are aware, his flight is scheduled to arrive, without delay. Luckily, looking at the list of cancelled scheduled flights, very few to or from Alicante are included. Alicante Airport is a major hub in this part of Spain, taking millions of passengers to the Costas each year. For others the misery will continue until the company is brought to account. My advice would be to avoid this atrocious airline if you can.

I have only flown with Ryanair a few times, with no problems it has to be said; however this was many years ago. Today I always use local airports in the UK, Southampton in the main and always choose to fly with flybe, who are excellent in every respect. Ryanair is a scurrilous company, whose hidden charges and poor customer service remain cause for concern. Vote with your feet, choose any other airline; just not Ryanair!
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New House!

27/9/2017

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A few photographs from our new Villa in Gran Alacant. The Casa is situated in the urbanization of Puerto Marino, about five minutes from Calle Holanda, where I work and two minutes from the GA Centre; it is twice the size of our current home. The views of the nature reserve, from the front terrace are breathtaking and should make the perfect base for us, while we are living in Gran Alacant; far more central, than living on the top of a mountainous ravine! Fingers crossed we will be moved in by the end of November!
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Confirmation Day!

25/9/2017

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I seem to spend my life jumping through official hoops, with my partner Darrell. Getting hitched to a non EU national has its ups and downs, that's for sure, but despite Darrell's Australian status, he has been granted permission to live and work in Spain; that's another milestone crossed off the list. Like the story of our life his legal rights were granted, with just a week to go, before he starts his new job at Alicante Airport; always last minute, with little time to spare; right up to the wire.

His status had remained precarious, due to his situation; legally placed slap bang in the middle, of a rather grey area of Spanish law. Most couples who come to settle in Spain are from the EU, so we had to overcome that hurdle before we started. Luckily our same sex status does not count negatively towards us now, as it did, when Darrell and I went through a similar process in the UK, in 1995-2000. Back then same sex couples were not recognised in law, so we had to fight to remain together, for many years. Today Spain has granted Darrell consent to remain in this great country in a matter of weeks; that's how far we have moved forwards; times have most definitely changed; discrimination is a thing of the past.

Darrell starts his new job next week and we can both finally begin to build, a new life in Spain. Twenty months in and we have achieved the security we desire; the UK is but a distant memory!
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The Donald and Kim Show!

24/9/2017

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Just a brief few words about Donald and Kim today, since these two leaders are in my humble opinion, the most volatile and dangerous men currently on our planet. Two men who are acting like School children, bargaining with peoples lives; yet once again, the rest of the World sits by and does nothing.

The rhetoric and bluster between these two is a little like children fighting in a playground, each trying to beat the other in a war of words. Donald and Kim hold the button of mutual destruction and could unleash nuclear warheads whenever they so choose; shocking, frightening and misguided. How can these two sociopathic despots hold the World to ransom in this way? Giving power to the foolish, is like giving a toddler a toy tank; of course he or she will want to play war games, just like the USA and North Korea are doing for real today; not realising the consequences of this menacing contest of one-upmanship!

​Yesterday North Korea's Foreign Minister gave a speech to the UN; more bravado and posturing, accusing the American President of being a megalomaniac, on a suicide mission. This came a day after President Trump called the North Korean President a 'madman' and even more inflammatory, Kim Jong Un referred to Donald Trump as a 'Mentally deranged US Dotard,' whatever that means. Coming from someone who has a grasp on the English language, I not only feel alarmed at the language used, but also the potential consequences, of this childish, immature behaviour. I still can not believe in this day and age, the type of oratory and expression being used by two World leaders determined and looking for a fight. We are not talking about playground bullies we are talking about grown men, leaders, people we are supposed to look up to!

I have a feeling this is going to end badly, no matter what the diplomatic outcome. Donald and Kim don't want a peaceful outcome, they are both preparing for conflict. These are two men, whose ego's are bigger than their sense of reason; neither of them will back down, both have too much to lose. The World is on course for a war it doesn't want, just because countries can not sit around a negotiating table. Somebody, neutral has to come forward and try to heal the rift between these  blusterous, egotistical, injudicious individuals, before one or the other or indeed both push that button.

We have to deal with the fact, that North Korea has nuclear weapons, that is not going to go away. This madman Kim Jong Un, should have been stopped years ago; If he had, we would not be where we are today. The international community, especially the UN has failed in its role and a dictator has been allowed to gain the upper hand. This organisation and its legitimacy has once again been called into question. If it can't do its job effectively, why is it there at all. We are on the brink of World War Three, no one is capable of doing anything to solve this mess and the rest of us look on in horror, as we move ever closer to armageddon. It remains to be seen if we pull back from the brink or not and someone actually begins to talk some sense; not childish words and the law of the jungle. All we can do, looking on as observers, is hope that wisdom prevails and finally the World can breath a sigh of relief!

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Muchas Gracias!

23/9/2017

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Thank you to everybody who sent myself and Darrell good wishes for our anniversary yesterday. It was just a normal evening for us; me having to working at LoungeD in the evening; oh how my life has changed. It means a lot that so many people took the time to message us both. The 22nd of September 1995 was as memorable as our Wedding in 2015. Our life has not been a bed of roses, perfect or conformist; it has been controversial, difficult, unconventional and above all eventful; today, living in Spain is no different.

My views on gay marriage have changed over the years; I actually used to be against the whole idea. Why did we have to get Married, in the same way as straight people, just to prove our love for one another? In my opinion Marriage was always a religious ceremony and since I don't have a religious bone in my body, why would I choose such a performance, a phony act of committal in front of family and friends? So many people I have known, have married in lavish ceremonies, costing thousands of pounds, only to be divorced soon after; not a great advert for this age old institution.

With very few good examples of Marriage to speak of, arranging my own Wedding wasn't really top of my list of priorities, but after a particularly uplifting New Years Eve, I made the decision to ask Darrel to marry me; it was a way of bonding our relationship together and sticking two fingers up to the detractors. Little did I know, just how important that piece of paper, marking our union would be. In a little over two months, my life had taken a traumatic turn and our decision to get hitched was validated; it was indeed the right thing to do. For once I had not made the wrong choice in life. That certificate would be the only thing allowing us to stay together in Spain. Darrell's Australian citizenship would normally bar him from living and working in Spain for an indefinite period, his Marriage to me, an EU citizen allows him to stay, unhindered.

Our time together over twenty two years has been enhanced by a tiny piece of paper. Apart from the legalities behind Marriage, making our life, living in Europe a little easier than it otherwise would have been, it has also been a psychological eye opener. Marriage really does feel different, it introduces a different level of commitment; I am reminded of my Wedding vows everyday. Our bond together as a couple has grown stronger and stronger; this anti gay Marriage detractor has finally embraced the traditional way of doing things and I like it!

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22nd Anniversary!

22/9/2017

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22 years ago today, myself and Darrell started on our journey through life together and oh boy what a life it has been. I have talked about how we met many times before, so today wanted to talk about our Wedding, which took place this time two years ago. 

As Weddings go, it was as unconventional as it could be; the signs were there, especially after asking Darrell to marry me on  facebook, in January of the same year. I had arranged with the Registry Office for the ceremony to take place, on our 20th Anniversary together, getting married in front of forty of our closest and dearest friends at the Golden Jubilee Room in Southampton.

A friend, Natalee Michelle escorted me up the aisle, in the absence of a member of my family doing the honours. Natalee had been there for me at a difficult time in my life; she was the ideal candidate for the job. Darrell and I are lucky enough to have Natalee living in Spain with us today; we certainly are not going to get rid of that girl easily.

My best man Jay, had also been there during a punishing period, whilst working for Oxfam. Jay was employed by the same charity, living with us and coping with the tribulations myself and Darrell were going through; something I will always be truly grateful for. Not only did Jay support me throughout the Wedding, but he also stayed up the night before, helping make a Wedding cake, after the original baker pulled out last minute! He was a rock before and during our big day! Although we are no longer in contact, he is well aware of what I think of him; I'll stop before I get a little too emotional! 

The Wedding went without a hitch; breaking down during the ceremony was a small hiccup, in an otherwise perfect day. It had been a long road, acquiring legal recognition; 20 years of battling and fighting, no least during the last year and the terrible circumstances behind our future departure from Britain. Everything came to pass, thanks to the hard work of all those involved; so many memories came flooding back; emotions played a large part for many who attended; it marked the end of adversity and the beginning of our new life together.

With rings exchanged, vows expressed and the register signed we were married. Finally after copious amounts of photographs outside, the throwing of the bouquet, caught by Aunty Danae and good wishes from friends and family, we all departed to the London Hotel, where Darrell and myself had arranged a buffet for our guests. We had very little money at the time and surprisingly arranged the whole day for just over three thousand pounds, a bargain by today's standards and a sign of things to come as we moved to Spain.

The London Hotel, 'Southamptons premier gay venue' put on a lovely spread, enjoyed by all of us there; it was a fantastic day to remember for all our guests and of course the beginning of the end for our life in the UK. I would like to thank everyone for making that day so special and being with us. We have taken those memories with us and will remember you all on this day each year.

'Remember, when our time on Earth is done, when we experience our final moments, as we gently close our eyes and the light slowly fades to dark, we won't remember the bad times.

Whether surrounded by family and friends, or alone with our final thoughts, the  outcome is the same for all of us.  Our eyes will close, the darkness will descend and suddenly a lifetime of memories, laughter, faces and joy will flow back like the river of blood that pulsed through our veins!

Don't dwell on the worst that life has thrown your way.  On this, your final day, it doesn't matter any more, it never did.  Just remember the love you had, the person you held close, the warmth they gave and the memories, you both made together!

Darren Vranjes 9 October 2015

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Legalities - Looking For Advice!

20/9/2017

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Yesterday Darrell received news of a job offer, a full time contract and all the perks that come with it, living and working in Spain. Today we are sorting out the final legalities of his situation, living with me as a non EU citizen. We are of course both married and allowed to stay together, without hindrance in any EU member state. The logistics behind that, requires Darrell to obtain Spanish Residencia. Darrell is waiting for the final stage of that process to complete, then we can both move forwards in life finally.

I have a question to ask my readers, since I am not a lawyer or solicitor. If anyone has knowledge of, or information about ,non EU citizens rights, living in Spain with their EU partner, could you please message me. We are a little unsure about certain aspects, relating to Darrell's status in Spain. Any advice anyone can give will be much appreciated.

Please leave comments in the box below or email me at [email protected].

​We are both hoping, that this is the end, of what has been an arduous process for us both and we can both finally begin to live our life in Spain. Once again, thank you to all our readers for their continued support.
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Cats

19/9/2017

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Mollie and Wildling are certainly getting bigger, twice as large, as they were, when we first got them a few weeks ago. I am sure they are going through their terrible two's at the moment, into everything, hiding in my chest of drawers, climbing curtains, jumping on the bed at 4 am and eating, oh boy do they eat; constantly! Myself and Darrell are growing used to them now, which is more than I can say for Lily, who it has to be said, gives them a slap or two, when they get out of line! For now our little family are happy and content.
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Two Years On Part II

16/9/2017

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By September 16 2015, I thought I had reached my lowest point; only our Wedding on the 22 September 2017, lifted mine and Darrell's spirits, for one day at least. Today I can look back at that time with a clear head. The funny thing is, I don't really remember much about our Wedding day. I had so much on my mind, even then, Oxfam took priority, as terrible as that sounds. I had invited various people from Oxfam to our Wedding, before I realised their role in the bullying scandal, that was engulfing this charity. Although uninvited, I expected them to turn up, which left me on tender hooks throughout the whole day; not a great start to married life. Of course I was lucky enough to have some wonderful friends and family around me, who did so much to make our day special. My Best Man Jay, stayed up all night the day before, helping to finish our Wedding cake and was a great support during the day. Others played their part and helped me and Darrell, at least have one day away, from the continuing storm, wreaking havoc at Oxfam's door.

Things got worse, before they got any better. The period after our Marriage was probably the most difficult to date. As well as fighting Oxfam, we were also preparing to leave the country, for a new life in Spain. Oxfam had began the process of forcing me to leave their employment, cutting my wages just after the Wedding, which left both of us, financially,  in a difficult situation. Not only did Oxfam reduce my wages, but they  still denied complicity in  one of the worst bullying scandals I have ever known. Despite asking for help from them and HR, nothing ever came. The officials at the top, spent all their time hiding the truth from myself and the growing number of other employees, who were coming forward with similar complaints of harassment, bullying and deviant behaviour. 

By Christmas 2015, the complaints against our Area Manager, had reached a critical juncture. A fellow colleague had already left the organisation, upset, distressed and having to take medication to recover from her ordeal. Managers were beginning to suffer also. My temporary replacement, was beginning to feel the strain, phoning me up on a number of occasions, upset at the way she was being treated. Other's in our region, after discovering what had happened to Darrell and I, were contacting me, explaining what they were going through also; similar stories of bullying and attacks by Veronica Raymond, left in charge, of vulnerable volunteers and employees, destroying the region she worked for; shocking, terrible behaviour that was causing great pain and harm to those at the receiving end.

A co-worker had moved in with me and Darrell, to help look after us, during this difficult period. He was there throughout, witness to the injustices that were being perpetrated by  Veronica. He was a great help and support for us both; we couldn't have got through such dark days without him. He himself was also the subject of bullying, because of his association with us, no doubt. Veronica began to abuse her position, yet again, refusing to acknowledge his correspondence, speaking to him with disdain and attacking him every time she saw him. This became more frequent, as she began to micromanage his shop, stripping him of his role, the role he was employed to fulfill. Veronica did things out of character, sabotaging her own area, watching the figures in all shops tumble, lower and lower, blaming others for her failings as an Area Manager, refusing to offer help to those, who were crying out for leadership.

Complaints were rolling into Oxfam, yet this lumbering organisation did nothing to help; I was reaching the end of my time at this charity, unable and unwilling to take any more mistreatment. I had been forced back to work, left penniless by the very people who allowed my health to deteriorate, once again put into a situation that I knew would make me unwell. The abuse restarted, relentlessly, so within a few weeks, I had resigned, handing in my notice, happy to be leaving the chains of this ghastly organisation. I was elated and happy at finally making my own decision to leave; no control from Veronica or anyone working at Oxfam. This was my choice, my decision. my liberation day and the relief I felt, was truly emancipating.

The last few weeks at Oxfam were a joy; Veronica kept well away from the shop. Her panicky nature was showing itself more and more, as she banned various Managers from attending Area Meetings, isolating them, because they were aware of her motives and wanted to make their views known. Afraid, she continued to stumble her way through each day, making mistake after mistake, causing mayhem. As for me, I was on cloud nine, enjoying my final few days, spending quality time with my volunteers, whose support was unwavering. 

My final day at Oxfam fell on a Friday; when Head of HR, Beth Mayes turned up, to give my end of employment interview. Usually my Manager Veronica Raymond, would have conducted the formal end of my contract, but everyone, including me, her and HR, mutually agreed, it was best she stayed away. The woman was unfit to Manage and certainly not able to give a fair assessment of my time working for Oxfam. 

Beth looked scared when she arrived, probably expecting the worst. She suggested, that the meeting remained informal and no paperwork filled in; stupidly I agreed. I know now, that was a mistake; I should have recorded every last detail of my time working for this charity; for them it was easier if I didn't. At the time, I was in no fit state to make a balanced judgement, Beth knew that and took advantage of me and my good nature; no formal records were ever recorded!

I spent a good few hours making my views known to Beth; in reality I let rip, exposing once again my sociopathic boss, bullying colleagues, shameful homophobia, failure to recognise disability, discrimination against disabled employees, abuse, attack and criminal activity; all the while, Beth listened. By the end of our time together, Beth looked shattered and uncomfortable. I asked her finally for a letter of apology from Oxfam, for all they put me through; she duly agreed. Of course to date, I have never received any letter and never expect to. The people who run Oxfam are dishonest and without dignity or honour; I was dealing with liars and expected nothing but lies in return. Beth pretended to be a friend and concerned associate, who was there to help, in reality she was a dubious, shadowy character, who did nothing to assist her employees. She was a failed, discredited HR ambassador, who deserves nothing but contempt. Along with Veronica and many others, Beth should be investigated for some terrible misdemeanours; finally allowing all the victims to finally move forward with their lives.

That final month living in Southampton was actually one of the best; seeing lots of friends before I left. A close companion Jamie, asked if he could come along with us; he was going through a bad time and needed a fresh start. Of course, what else could we do, but agree; helping others was always are saving grace, but also our downfall; only time would tell, if we had made the right choice in taking Jamie with us. Darrell and I tried our best to forget what had happened; the nightmares were still vivid and frequent, but spending time with loved ones, began the healing process, we both so needed. All our belongings were packed up taken to Auction and sold off, one by one. Darrell and Jay, still living with us, still working at Oxfam, went to car boot sales and sold the remainder of what was left; collections of things that I had built up over many years. Paperwork was shredded and burned and furniture donated and collected by The British Heart Foundation, certainly not Oxfam.

On 31 January 2015, after spending a sleepless night in our empty house, Gay Capri I left with a Jamie on a plane, flying to Alicante, leaving Darrell behind, following with a van load of items, all we had left after a life time living in the UK.  Darrell drove down to our new home in Gran Alacant, accompanied by our long time friend Dale and our two cats Precious and Lily. Our new start was just beginning and none of us knew where it would take us. It's scary, walking away from ones life, but having to do it because of terrible circumstances, made the whole process even scarier. Neither me or Darrell were comfortable with what had happened, neither of us wanted it to end this way; circumstances had forced our hand; Spain was our new destination, rebuilding our lives our only priority, after the worst life could throw our way!
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Iceland!

16/9/2017

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Darrell finally found Iceland at La Marina today; we've only been here eighteen months after all. To be honest, I am not sure if  it is a good thing or not. However it's nice to know where I can get those British staples, I've so missed from home; for now I'll stick to the healthy Spanish way of doing things. There is always a price to pay for convenience and Iceland Spain,  certainly know how to charge  for it!
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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    A place to call home
    Finally, a place we can call home.  A community of like minded individuals, who used to call Britain home.  Now Spain is our choice, an altogether gentler, happier, sunnier and safer experience!
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