Two Years On Part II

By September 16 2015, I thought I had reached my lowest point; only our Wedding on the 22 September 2017, lifted mine and Darrell's spirits, for one day at least. Today I can look back at that time with a clear head. The funny thing is, I don't really remember much about our Wedding day. I had so much on my mind, even then, Oxfam took priority, as terrible as that sounds. I had invited various people from Oxfam to our Wedding, before I realised their role in the bullying scandal, that was engulfing this charity. Although uninvited, I expected them to turn up, which left me on tender hooks throughout the whole day; not a great start to married life. Of course I was lucky enough to have some wonderful friends and family around me, who did so much to make our day special. My Best Man Jay, stayed up all night the day before, helping to finish our Wedding cake and was a great support during the day. Others played their part and helped me and Darrell, at least have one day away, from the continuing storm, wreaking havoc at Oxfam's door.

Things got worse, before they got any better. The period after our Marriage was probably the most difficult to date. As well as fighting Oxfam, we were also preparing to leave the country, for a new life in Spain. Oxfam had began the process of forcing me to leave their employment, cutting my wages just after the Wedding, which left both of us, financially,  in a difficult situation. Not only did Oxfam reduce my wages, but they  still denied complicity in  one of the worst bullying scandals I have ever known. Despite asking for help from them and HR, nothing ever came. The officials at the top, spent all their time hiding the truth from myself and the growing number of other employees, who were coming forward with similar complaints of harassment, bullying and deviant behaviour. 

By Christmas 2015, the complaints against our Area Manager, had reached a critical juncture. A fellow colleague had already left the organisation, upset, distressed and having to take medication to recover from her ordeal. Managers were beginning to suffer also. My temporary replacement, was beginning to feel the strain, phoning me up on a number of occasions, upset at the way she was being treated. Other's in our region, after discovering what had happened to Darrell and I, were contacting me, explaining what they were going through also; similar stories of bullying and attacks by Veronica Raymond, left in charge, of vulnerable volunteers and employees, destroying the region she worked for; shocking, terrible behaviour that was causing great pain and harm to those at the receiving end.

A co-worker had moved in with me and Darrell, to help look after us, during this difficult period. He was there throughout, witness to the injustices that were being perpetrated by  Veronica. He was a great help and support for us both; we couldn't have got through such dark days without him. He himself was also the subject of bullying, because of his association with us, no doubt. Veronica began to abuse her position, yet again, refusing to acknowledge his correspondence, speaking to him with disdain and attacking him every time she saw him. This became more frequent, as she began to micromanage his shop, stripping him of his role, the role he was employed to fulfill. Veronica did things out of character, sabotaging her own area, watching the figures in all shops tumble, lower and lower, blaming others for her failings as an Area Manager, refusing to offer help to those, who were crying out for leadership.

Complaints were rolling into Oxfam, yet this lumbering organisation did nothing to help; I was reaching the end of my time at this charity, unable and unwilling to take any more mistreatment. I had been forced back to work, left penniless by the very people who allowed my health to deteriorate, once again put into a situation that I knew would make me unwell. The abuse restarted, relentlessly, so within a few weeks, I had resigned, handing in my notice, happy to be leaving the chains of this ghastly organisation. I was elated and happy at finally making my own decision to leave; no control from Veronica or anyone working at Oxfam. This was my choice, my decision. my liberation day and the relief I felt, was truly emancipating.

The last few weeks at Oxfam were a joy; Veronica kept well away from the shop. Her panicky nature was showing itself more and more, as she banned various Managers from attending Area Meetings, isolating them, because they were aware of her motives and wanted to make their views known. Afraid, she continued to stumble her way through each day, making mistake after mistake, causing mayhem. As for me, I was on cloud nine, enjoying my final few days, spending quality time with my volunteers, whose support was unwavering. 

My final day at Oxfam fell on a Friday; when Head of HR, Beth Mayes turned up, to give my end of employment interview. Usually my Manager Veronica Raymond, would have conducted the formal end of my contract, but everyone, including me, her and HR, mutually agreed, it was best she stayed away. The woman was unfit to Manage and certainly not able to give a fair assessment of my time working for Oxfam. 

Beth looked scared when she arrived, probably expecting the worst. She suggested, that the meeting remained informal and no paperwork filled in; stupidly I agreed. I know now, that was a mistake; I should have recorded every last detail of my time working for this charity; for them it was easier if I didn't. At the time, I was in no fit state to make a balanced judgement, Beth knew that and took advantage of me and my good nature; no formal records were ever recorded!

I spent a good few hours making my views known to Beth; in reality I let rip, exposing once again my sociopathic boss, bullying colleagues, shameful homophobia, failure to recognise disability, discrimination against disabled employees, abuse, attack and criminal activity; all the while, Beth listened. By the end of our time together, Beth looked shattered and uncomfortable. I asked her finally for a letter of apology from Oxfam, for all they put me through; she duly agreed. Of course to date, I have never received any letter and never expect to. The people who run Oxfam are dishonest and without dignity or honour; I was dealing with liars and expected nothing but lies in return. Beth pretended to be a friend and concerned associate, who was there to help, in reality she was a dubious, shadowy character, who did nothing to assist her employees. She was a failed, discredited HR ambassador, who deserves nothing but contempt. Along with Veronica and many others, Beth should be investigated for some terrible misdemeanours; finally allowing all the victims to finally move forward with their lives.

That final month living in Southampton was actually one of the best; seeing lots of friends before I left. A close companion Jamie, asked if he could come along with us; he was going through a bad time and needed a fresh start. Of course, what else could we do, but agree; helping others was always are saving grace, but also our downfall; only time would tell, if we had made the right choice in taking Jamie with us. Darrell and I tried our best to forget what had happened; the nightmares were still vivid and frequent, but spending time with loved ones, began the healing process, we both so needed. All our belongings were packed up taken to Auction and sold off, one by one. Darrell and Jay, still living with us, still working at Oxfam, went to car boot sales and sold the remainder of what was left; collections of things that I had built up over many years. Paperwork was shredded and burned and furniture donated and collected by The British Heart Foundation, certainly not Oxfam.

On 31 January 2015, after spending a sleepless night in our empty house, Gay Capri I left with a Jamie on a plane, flying to Alicante, leaving Darrell behind, following with a van load of items, all we had left after a life time living in the UK.  Darrell drove down to our new home in Gran Alacant, accompanied by our long time friend Dale and our two cats Precious and Lily. Our new start was just beginning and none of us knew where it would take us. It's scary, walking away from ones life, but having to do it because of terrible circumstances, made the whole process even scarier. Neither me or Darrell were comfortable with what had happened, neither of us wanted it to end this way; circumstances had forced our hand; Spain was our new destination, rebuilding our lives our only priority, after the worst life could throw our way!

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