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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe, and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions must be made. Illness, family bonds, and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in the life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

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Clayborne in Taiwan!

30/10/2024

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Living The Quiet Life Down Under - Nearly two years since we left the UK!

27/8/2024

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Wow, how time has flown! It has been nearly two years since we left the UK, and what a productive 24 months we have had. This time two years ago, I was busy saying my farewells to family, friends, and colleagues. It was an emotional time for me, especially since I had made some wonderful connections during my time living in Portsmouth. These were the people that got me through the tough times, when Darrell was locked down in Australia and the pandemic was raging across the World. Without these people, life would have been harder than it already was. As my World got even tougher, during our final few months in Britain, all of these people became the family I had lost.
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Darrell and I have managed to stay in contact with family and friends from across the globe. We both owe them a great debt of gratitude for all they did for us, making our final weeks happy and memorable. I miss them every day; a photo on a wall cannot make up for physical contact, but both of us have memories that resonate every single day, and thankfully we have social media and video calls, to keep those friendships alive.

My oldest, dearest friend, Ramona, celebrated a milestone Birthday recently, and we spoke to each other for over an hour. Chatting about the old times, shared friends, and memorable times spent together over 32 years. Those important milestones, that we both share, have been instrumental in keeping me firmly in Australia. Ramona knows where Darrell and I are better off, and she has always been honest about where she believes the best place for us is. Ramona and I have always had an honest and open friendship, we have shared so much over the years, her advice is invaluable; she is actually one of the few people I listen to!

We also managed to speak to one of our closest friends in Portsmouth, Zerina. Not only did I volunteer for Zerina at Cancer Research in Portsmouth, but Darrell also worked for her as her Assistant Manager. She was one of the most influential people in my life, when I lived in Britain, and she is always, without exception, a joy to be around. We had some hilarious, fabulous times working together, and she has become a very close friend. She is the big sister I never had, and was a sounding board for all my anxieties. In many respects we were like chalk and cheese, but like Ramona, she always gave wonderful advice, which I listened to without exception. 

These are just two people I think about daily; there are just too many others to mention, but all of them lifted me up at times when I needed it most. Unfortunately, we don't have the same friendships here, but that is a conscious choice we both made, in order to forge a successful start to our life in Australia. It has been essential to establish ourselves, and work hard in order to succeed in this new venture. The time for friendships may or may not come, but Darrell and I have each other, and that is all that matters… For now!
Of course, we do have our two cats to keep us company — Pippa and Akira. Darrell and I have always had cats in our life, for as long as I can remember, when living in the UK and Spain. Sadly, we lost our last two companions when we lived in Gran Alacant; if I am honest, I was reluctant to get any more animals — not because I don't like them, but because of the travelling life we have always led.

Both of us have travelled so much over the years, we never knew where we would be from one day to the next. My life is now firmly rooted in Australia, but it isn't a country I necessarily want to live in forever. I would like to retire to Spain or Asia at some point, and having animals will make that move more difficult. In the end, however, I agreed that we couldn't live without pets, because of what may or may not happen in the future. Our two cats really do make our home, and if the opportunity to move abroad comes, then both of them will make the journey with us. These two are our children, and wherever we are, they will be too!
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Darrell and I have rewarding, successful jobs that we love. We have managed to find the perfect careers, that we both enjoy. If I am honest, I never believed I would find a secure, well-paid position this quickly. The employment market in Western Australia is rather volatile at the moment, but we have both persevered, and settled into a positive routine, that allows us to enjoy the lifestyle we have now become accustomed to. Wages are significantly higher here, compared to the UK, and five times higher than they are in Spain — I am well aware of how lucky we are!

Approaching my mid-fifties, I never believed I would be where I am today. I have worked in many jobs, and have always been able to adapt to my changing circumstances quickly. Today I am back doing what I love best, in a retail management capacity, working with some amazing people, who have become important to my success and wellbeing in Perth.

In time, I hope to restart volunteering as well, rather like I did in the UK. It has always been essential for me to give something back to the community in which I live, whether through writing in local magazines or dedicating time helping others who may be going through a difficult time. For now, with changes on the horizon, I am looking forward to the new adventures to come. There are plenty more years ahead to dedicate to all the passions I have in life, including my blogging today. Until the right voluntary opportunity arises, I am happy to do the best I can, in an industry I love.
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First and foremost, I will always be English, it is part of who I am, and I am proud of my heritage. In many respects, my home in Perth is a homage to all things British. The memories I bought with me, are a reminder of home, and the pictures and photo's that adorn my walls are distinctly European in feel. 

Darrell and I have travelled extensively, especially in Europe, and both of us are fond of the European continent. Despite loving the UK, its politics, eccentricities, culture and society, I am also a Europhile. Both of us lived in Spain, have family in Croatia, owned a house in France, and fell in love with Sorrento in Italy. We will always be Europeans at heart and if it hadn't had been for Brexit, we would probably still be living in Spain. Having lost my Spanish residencia during the pandemic, both Darrell and I made the conscious choice to build a life away from the UK.

With that said, I pride myself on the Britishness I hold dear, even my bad teeth. I have a painting of the late Queen on my wall, photo's of our travels around the UK on display, and of course, British staples in the pantry. I always try to buy British food in the supermarkets when I can, rather like I did in Spain, and always make a beeline for the international food isle in Coles. From Marmite, English Cheddar and Scottish Oat Cakes, to Branson Pickle, HP Sauce and Eccles Cakes, they are all there. Thankfully Aussie culture is very similar to back home, and food wise, I fit in quite well… apart that is, from the overload of Chicken Parmi in restaurants, and the fact that Australians can not cook a British Roast.

There are many aspects of the UK I miss, but I can live the English life right here if I so chose. I have been known to watch UK TV all day and then, in the height of the Aussie summer, pop down the beach and enjoy a lifestyle most Brits could only dream of — living the best of both Worlds!
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... And finally, I still manage to keep fit and healthy, something I have been doing since 2019. Then I weighed a staggering 110 kg, smoked cigarettes (Up to 80 a day at one stage) and drank like a fish (a hangover from my days living in Spain and the 1 euro pints of Mahou.) After a brush with health anxiety, which I still suffer with today, I made a decision to change my lifestyle. Today I weigh 74 kg, although I have weighed as low as 70 kg, and I am not as strict as I once was. I have my good and bad days, but on average I have managed to maintain a healthy weight for five years now and have no intention of giving up.

This week we took a walk to the John Forrest National Park for a 6 km walk. The weather was rather grey and overcast, which made me feel quite at home and was ideal weather for walking. This park reminds me of El Clot De Galvany in Spain where we used to go walking, and The New Forest back in The UK. These are the places that keep my fitness regime on track and allows me to explore the local area. 

I still walk every day in Australia, far more than I ever did in Spain and on a par with the miles I walked when I lived in Portsmouth. I don't drive a car, nor have I ever wanted to, so walking is my main means of transport if you like. My two legs take me everywhere, and I am actually really proud of that fact. If I did drive, I believe I would be in worse physical shape today than I am — definitely overweight and most certainly a heart attack waiting to happen. Walking is somewhat of a passion now, and a pastime I intend to keep up, wherever I live.

If these last two years in Australia have taught me anything, it's the resilience and determination I have to survive. I have had so many ups and downs in life, that a little thing, like moving to the other side of the World, wasn't going to stop me from achieving my true ambitions. I have grown to love this country, simply because it has given me everything I ever wanted, and that is important. Without Australia, I would probably still be underachieving in Portsmouth, in a country that has quite simply had its day. For the first time in a long time, I feel optimistic for the future, and can finally see light at the end of the tunnel… Life is indeed what you make it, and we are both giving it one hundred percent — things can only get better!
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Clayborne's World — Vietnam 2024!

24/4/2024

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Click above to donate to Cancer Research UK

Since 2019, Clayborne The Cancer Research Teddy, has accompanied me on my travels all over the World. Even during COVID, while I was unable to travel, Clayborne boarded a repatriation flight to America — even getting to sit in the cockpit (Something I have never done.) As he clocks up the miles, he is also creating awareness for Cancer Research UK, a charity I am proud to have volunteered for.

Today I live in Australia, but my dedication to Cancer Research UK remains as strong as ever. I still make a monthly donation to them, and believe passionately in the good work they do, helping to irradiate this dreadful disease.

Clayborne, is a brand ambassador like no other; today, after five years of travelling, he is looking rather dishevelled and in need of a bit of TLC. His head is a bit wonky and his fur requires a good brush, but the scars he carries with him, are a mark of the cause he champions. I feel proud that he has helped create recognition and understanding of the complexities surrounding cancer, encouraging more people to donate to Cancer Research and helping to stop this disease in its tracks.

Clayborne travelled with Darrell and me to Saigon, Da Nang and Há»™i An, traversing the south of Vietnam for 12 days. Like me, he is a seasoned traveller and enjoys experiencing new cultures. Many people have stopped and asked me about his story, bringing, yet more, understanding of a subject, that many find difficult to discuss.

His travels document a journey, that began with me volunteering for Cancer Research in 2018, and the fond memories I take with me on my voyage to Australia. Clayborne has become an important part of my life; he is not only a symbol of past endeavours, but also a shining light of hope for the future. As I continue to travel across the World, His story, is my story, and together we will help to make Cancer history!


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Clayborne's World - Bangkok and Chiang Mai!

3/11/2023

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For the last five years, Clayborne the Cancer Research Teddy, has accompanied me on my travels, both in the UK, when I lived there, and abroad. This little bear is looking rather bedraggled these days, having clocked up the air miles, flying all over the World. Like me, however, Clayborne remains a committed traveller, bringing awareness to the good work Cancer Research does and for that reason he remains an important part of my journey, even in my new home of Australia!

Clayborne is a reminder of my years working for Cancer Research, and of the wonderful characters who worked in the little charity shop in Portsmouth. He is also a mascot for me, as I traverse across the planet between my home in Australia, my old home in the UK, and my adopted home of Spain. I feel exhausted just writing that - we really have travelled a lot!

Even now, as I settle into life in Perth, Clayborne remains an important part of my past, as well as crucial to my future direction. He may well be, essentially, just a stuffed toy, with a wonky head and dishevelled fur, but he is a reflection of my life over the last half decade and hopefully a special part of my future travels as well.

If this little bear could talk, what stories he would have to tell. Travelling to America on a repatriation flight, during the COVID pandemic, has been the highlight of Claybornes endeavours, and I'm sure the best is yet to come.

Like me, Clayborne enjoyed Thailand for a second time, and looks forward to our trip to Japan next year. Apart from Darrell, Clayborne is the second most important part of my life. He may well just be a bear, but he is my bear and very much a part of my family! I really am such a sentimental old man!

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Year in Review 2022!

27/12/2022

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Wow, what a year it has been for both me and Darrell. So much has happened in such a small space of time, I just don't know where to begin. I suppose I should start at the beginning - Darrell had been back in the UK for just a few short months and both of us were planning a future together in Portsmouth, in the aftermath of a pandemic that had conspired to keep us apart for nearly two years.

We were pretty happy and sorted at the beginning of 2022. Both of us were working in jobs we loved and were discussing the possibility of buying a home together for the first time in many years. The pandemic had been kind to us at least, and we had saved up a substantial amount of money for a deposit, but it just wasn't enough for somewhere big enough for our needs. To be honest, when I look back, I don't think either of us really wanted to live in a pokey one-bedroom flat, in a city we just couldn't call our own. I'm not sure if that sounds completely right, but what I am trying to say is, it never really felt like home. It didn't have the memories needed to form an emotional attachment. Although I had some strong friendships, keeping that connection alive, ultimately it wasn't enough to keep us in this famous naval city, on the south coast of England.

Darrell was working hard at Cancer Research in a job he loved. His boss and my friend Zerina was instrumental in keeping us both in Portsmouth for as long as we were there. She is one of my closest and dearest friends and a lady I hold in the highest regard. She has helped both me and Darrell out more times than I care to remember. Her advice has been invaluable, and she was a huge presence in both our lives. I don't think I have ever seen Darrell so happy in his work, as he was there, and he really put his heart and soul into a position he loved. Back then, I was sure we would stay in Portsmouth for the rest of our days.

Equally, I was thoroughly enjoying my position at Tesco, as I had done since I started there in 2018. In many ways, I had become part of the furniture and had settled into my role with ease. For the first time in many years, I had formed close friendships with some truly remarkable characters. These were the lifeline that kept me going when Darrell was away, and they held me together, while living a rather frugal existence in Portsmouth.

My colleagues on the Customer Service desk where I worked were such a close-knit group, it was always going to be a wrench leaving them behind under any circumstances, let alone what transpired later in the year. Together with my closest friend Jules, this was the World I wanted to keep, grasp tightly and not want to let go!

Jules was normally the first person I saw every morning, forever smiling, consistently welcoming and invariably so full of life. We talked about everything and anything, and he is the nearest to the Brother I have never really had. Our bond grew especially close during my last year in the UK, and I really don't think I would have survived those final days in Portsmouth without him. He was a shoulder to cry on, an encyclopedia of advice and always, just always that little bit 'extra gay'. Every morning we saw one another, we would always have the biggest bear hug and make sure to end our morning natter before work by saying those immortal words 'be extra gay today,' as we did every day, bringing a little bit of sunshine into an otherwise drab, dull world.

Of course nothing was quite as it seemed and although my work life was the best it had ever been, things at home were not working out. I had lived with my Aunt for four years and thoroughly enjoyed my time there. She was, in all but name, Mum, especially after my Mother died in 2019. My Aunt, Darrell and I all got on well in the same house, and it was an arrangement that worked perfectly for the most part. I suppose I became complacent and took our living situation for granted, believing things would carry on very much in the same vein, even when the danger signs were there.

Her son and my Cousin moved back into the family home in the middle of the year and despite a rocky start, things worked fine. I have always had a close bond with my Cousin, and in many respects he reminds me of myself. I'm not saying everything was a bed of roses, but we all learned to live under the same roof amicably and life continued as it had done before. Darrell and I did keep ourselves to ourselves a lot more, but I believe deep down we already knew it was time to leave.

Things came to a head after an uncalled-for family intervention. This was an unnecessary interference into what was essentially a personal matter, problems that just needed to be ironed out and boundaries set. As is the case in many families, talking seems to take a back seat, as situations spiral out of control, everyone burying their head in the sand, hoping issues will just go away. Both Darrell and I are as guilty of that as anyone. Sometimes it takes an argument to brings things to the fore and make us realise there is more to life.

My Cousin Rachel is one of the most honest up front people you will ever meet and despite a rather heated exchange of views, both Darrell and I were glad things were said as they were. This was a row that all three of us would have sorted out, no matter what the outcome, and we just expected things to return to normal. Like best laid plans of mice and men, it didn't work out that way, and an unwarranted text from someone who had not even witnessed the argument, suggesting Darrell and I should consider our position in Portsmouth, finally put the nail in the coffin.

We both decided, after receiving the text, that it was time to go. When people start digging the knife in, without a thought for no one but themselves, let alone two people who had done nothing but help, we knew our time was up. For our own sanity and peace of mind, we had to leave. There was no point staying somewhere where neither of us were wanted. This was a sad ending to our time in Portsmouth, but it also gave us an insight into what some people are really like. When a leopard finally shows its spots and the abuse starts flowing, it is time to head for the hills and not look back.

I will forever be thankful to my Aunt for taking me in at a particularly difficult point in my life. I will also always love my Cousins Rachel and Joe and their respective extended families. However, when I look back, I suppose I was never really a part of their lives anyway; I lived very much on the side lines, and both Darrell and I were quite happy to go back to 'us against the World,' and avoid family ties altogether - it's how we work best.

Initially we just walked away from a situation that had become toxic, but after a chat with my Aunt we returned to see if we could repair the damage that had been done. Despite getting closer to my Cousin Joe, spending a memorable last few months with him, we just couldn't see a future in that house with my family, and we decided to return to Australia and give this place one last chance. This was not an easy decision to make, but as I watched the decline of Britain on the news, and my own personal issues bubbling away, the warning signs were there; I knew it was something we had to do.

I spoke to my employer, who was amazing and fully supported my decision to take a 'lifestyle break' for a year, leaving the option to return to my job on the table, should everything fail down under. I couldn't thank my Manager Sammy enough for all she did for me at that time. Without her, I would have just walked out of Tesco and been left high and dry in the worst of circumstances. Her advice and help ensured a smooth transition to a new life in Australia.

The last month in Britain was a double-edged sword. This was a time I cemented friendships in a way I hadn't before. I had so many leaving parties, I lost count of the number of times I said goodbye, but these were people who wanted to give us a memorable send-off and show just how much they cared. I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and many tears flowed over the weeks before we left. Many of those who waved us on our way have kept in contact and continue to wish us well. All of them made our departure that much harder, and there were times I really thought about staying, but pulled myself back from the brink and continued to strive for a better future in Perth.

The hardest person to leave behind was Jules, tears really did flow on my final day. After all the planning, arranging of flights, hotels and travel, nothing can prepare you for actually saying goodbye to someone close, akin to family. Jules will always be in my life, I will make sure of that. I video call him when I can and message him often. My life is a little darker without him in it, and I wish things had turned out differently and our friendship could have grown into something even more special than it already is. It wasn't meant to be, and I will keep the flame of friendship burning bright from the other side of the World. There will always be a special place in my heart for the best friend who kept me going in the worst of times; of course I will always have regrets, but I also have to look forwards to the future.

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We left Portsmouth on a rainy Saturday morning, after a series of emotional farewells. On that final day, Zerina turned up on the door step, just so she could wave us off. She did what others didn't, people who should have been there, and for that she will, like Jules, remain a friend for life. She also continues to phone, message and video call; as Darrell said to me, just the other day, she would have been his reason to stay. Zerina, along with Jules and my dear friend John, were the family we should have had, the people who truly loved us, and we loved back. You certainly can't choose your family, but you can evidently give it a damn good try!
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Sitting at the airport, waiting for our first flight to Croatia, I was able to reflect on my time in the UK. I had, and still have, a feeling I won't be back any time soon, definitely not to live again, and it was time to let go of the past. At great milestones in my life, I have always thought about the 'what if's' and 'buts.' Our almost knee-jerk reaction to up and leave, had brought home the nature of what we were doing, we were leaving Britain for good, saying farewell to friends for the last time, but happy to leave the crap behind. In a few hours we would be with loving family in Croatia, with people who we cared for deeply, far away from the pain we were leaving behind.

Our trip to Australia was always about saying au revoir. With the UK becoming a distant memory, it was now time to connect with our Croatian Cousins before continuing on to Thailand. Marin and Vlatka had been in our lives since 2008, when Darrell went to Croatia to see family for the first time. We continued to go there year after year, and had many special memories to take with us on our journey home to Oz.

It had been a few years since we last saw them, and we hugged just like it was yesterday. Spending ten days with them at their home in Makarska was a joy and made us realise what family was all about. We had had such a torrid time before we left, we forgot that there were people who actually loved us and within a few short hours of arriving, we were comfortably at home, looked after by people who only had our best interests at heart.

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Spending two weeks in Croatia was just what we both needed. We spent time visiting the Dalmatian Coast, relaxing in one of the many cafés and bars along the Makarska Riviera, gazing at the icy blue sea and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Vlatka and Marin prepared home cooked meals, and we sat talking to the early hours, catching up on family life in this beautiful Dalmatian town. I always feel like I am home when I am in Croatia, and this trip was no exception. This is a family like no other and the love they show is certainly unparalleled in my life; leaving is always the hardest part

Sitting outside a bar in Makarska, drinking a pint of Karlovacko, I heard murmurs from the tourists walking along the promenade. It had become apparent that HM Queen Elizabeth had died back home in Scotland. This amazing lady, the best public servant the UK has ever known, had quietly passed away, leaving a great gaping hole in all our lives.

My respect for the Queen goes back to my childhood, she is the only Monarch I have ever known. I became emotional, as I would if it had been a member of my own family. The Queen was the constant in my life, and she was now no longer there; words can not describe how upset I was.

I suppose in a way, it was quite poignant that she passed away as we were leaving the UK for a new life down under. An era was well and truly coming to an end, and her passing just reinforced the decision I made to leave. I was at least able to toast her passing, and made a promise to myself to watch the funeral from Thailand on the next leg of my journey.

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Leaving Croatia was a wrench, as it always has been, but the time we spent with family was invaluable. We promised not to leave it so long in future and both of us know our family ties are always a reason to return to Europe, as we will do as soon as we are able.

Flying back into London to catch our flight to Bangkok was a rather surreal experience. The death of The Queen was palpable. Walking through the terminal after our arrival, there were TV screens and poster boards everywhere highlighting Her Majesties 70 years on the throne. I had returned to a country in mourning and a very different Kingdom. There was a quiet calmness about the place, as people reflected on just what Elizabeth II meant to them, deep in thought, glazed expression and respectful repose.

I would have loved to have laid flowers in her honour, but with our connecting flight less than 24 hours away, I was lucky enough to have a friend do it for me. Little John was heading to London that day, I was supposed to meet him, but with delays, it had become impossible, and he put a bouquet down in green park from him and me; a gesture I will never forget. This is what friends are for, and that's what made leaving Britain so hard.

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Our two weeks in Bangkok were amazing, more than what we both expected. This was a city we both fell madly in love with, and a place we want to return to as soon as we are able. Bangkok is where modernity meets traditional Asian culture, sitting side by side, down every street, around every corner. There was so much to do and see, that we couldn't have possibly fit in everything we wanted to do. From the BTS Sky Train, Statue of The Golden Buddha and the many Royal Palaces, we weren't disappointed!

We spent the first part of our trip in the notorious Patpong district of the city, and this colourful area really did live up to its reputation. Patpong was an eye-opener in every respect, and we enjoyed some rather fun fuelled nights in the bars and restaurants down Silom Soi 4, where all the gay venues were situated.  This rather hedonistic introduction to Bangkok, left us aghast on more than one occasion, but I am certainly glad we ventured into the dark depths of the city, even for just a short while.

Here I was able to see The late Queen Elizabeth's funeral on my laptop. Sat in The Siam Heritage Hotel, surrounded by oriental splendour, I was able to pay my respects to Her late Majesty and remember with fondness, her legacy and significance for me. It did feel strange being away from the UK at this time, but then this was just the beginning of our new life and as I watched from afar, the penny finally dropped; in all probability we will never live in Britain again. Our life was firmly on track towards our new home in Australia.

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From Patpong and the Siam Heritage, we travelled across the city to Samsen Road, one of the oldest parts of the city. Here we settled into our luxurious hotel, where we enjoyed a more relaxing time. Close to all the major historical sites, we spent our time exploring this stunning part of Bangkok, visiting everything we could.

Darrell and I had firmly removed Britain from our thoughts, preferring to concentrate on the future. Travelling has always helped us forget some of the more difficult periods of our life, and this European/Asian adventure was the tonic we both needed. After several months of hell, we were now able to sit back and enjoy our favourite part of the World, free from pressure and stress, doom and gloom.

Surrounded by the beauty Bangkok offers, we immersed ourselves in the culture of a country that was so far removed from our own, yet strangely felt familiar and homely. This was a place where we both felt at ease, reassured and untroubled.

Opposite The Nuovo City Hotel, where we stayed, sat a small family run restaurant, 'So Samsen.' This became our go-to place and every evening we would go there for dinner. The food was exquisite, cooked by hostess Aom and her colleagues. Aom's credentials were impeccable, having helped set up a Michelin Star restaurant here in Perth, Western Australia, and at a reasonable price, we were able to taste the best of Thai food at a fraction of the price.

The ambiance was perfect; after each meal we sat looking out across the street where we were based, just chatting about the future, stroking the resident cat and soaking in the atmosphere. The girls, at So Samsen, would often sit and speak with us, adding to the friendly 'family' vibe. Both Darrell and I needed 'So Samsen' at that point in our journey, it reminded us, that there were good people out there, and a whole World to explore. I have never felt so secure somewhere in my life, and I know we were both reluctant to leave this pretty little restaurant behind. Its significance will remain a part of us always, as we continue our travels across the World.

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.... and so to Australia where we are today, preparing, hopefully, for the rest of our life together. This has unsurprisingly been the hardest part of our journey. When I left the UK five months ago, I never believed my life would be where it is today. Back then I thought I would get somewhere to live pretty quickly, settle down and continue doing the same job I did in the UK. However, nothing ever turns out the way you want it to. Australia has changed out of all proportion since I was last here in 1997 and the differences are clear to see.

Back in the late 90s, finding somewhere to live was easy, today nothing but. After the worldwide pandemic, property is few and far between, and we are still, after three months, living was Darrell's Mother. This has of course made life very difficult, and we are continuing to battle very much as we did in the UK. This is the worst part of life here in Perth; everything else, however, seems on the surface at least, to be going in our favour.

My application to remain in Australia is in and in a couple of days, on the 28th December, I will finally be 'legally illegal.' My 'Bridging Visa A' will be activated, and I can live and work here unhindered. So far so good, but one has to remember this is only a temporary visa, before my final Spouse or Permanent Resident Visa is issued at some point in the future. Nevertheless, all the fees and solicitor costs are now paid, and it is now a waiting game, to see if I am accepted or not.

I completed my medical assessment several weeks ago and this will either give me the green light to stay, or signal our departure towards pastures new yet again. The results I have received back so far are good, but the major one isn't back yet. As part of the process I had to undergo a chest X-ray and as an ex smoker for the last thirty years, I am hoping nothing too major is flagged up, but only time will tell if that is the case. Everything else is perfect and good to go, I just hope this final hurdle is crossed without too much difficulty.

I have also got a job, one of the first I applied for, and will be starting as a Senior Manager for a large corporation just ten minutes from where I live now. The pay is double what I was earning in Britain, and it looks like this could be the job that secures my future in Australia.

Also on a positive note, we should now be able to buy a property early in the new year. We have both built up substantial savings and with a dual income, we have been told we can borrow up to $500,000. This will allow us to finally have a place of our own, not waste money on rent, and finally, after 27 years together, settle into Australian life.

The decision to leave The UK was always about taking a chance at a new life and as reluctant as I have been in the past, I am glad I threw caution to the wind and grasped the opportunity with both hands. I suppose the last few months in Britain showed me I had nothing to stay for, except the few friends I had made, and of course my Father. These important people will always be in my life wherever I am, here in Australia or in the UK, they will always have a pivotal role to play.

At 51 years old, I am glad to have made a decision to restart and reboot my life and hope everything turns out for the best. Both of us are travellers at heart, so in the worst case scenario, we will just continue what we enjoy doing most and take off on another impromptu expedition, looking out for another place to settle. We only get one chance in this World, and as my Father said to me recently, before I left, I have to make the most of my time and go where my heart desires. Whether this is my final destination or not, is irrelevant, the fact is, we are doing what we love; the hope is of course that the outcome is favourable, and we can finally leave the past behind!

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Clayborne in Bangkok!

1/10/2022

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Clayborne in Croatia!

1/10/2022

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That's All Folks!

1/9/2022

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Cancer Research


Tesco


Newcome Arms

Well Thursday really was an emotional day, as I said farewell to friends and colleagues from Tesco, The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research - all places I have worked since my return to Portsmouth from Spain in 2018. To say leaving Portsmouth, even for a year, will be an enormous wrench is somewhat of an understatement. Emotions really have been running high for me, as I have said my goodbyes to some fantastic friends. I am not a person who cries easily, so Thursday just showed me how lucky I am, having made some wonderful memories with some truly amazing characters; the tears did flow briefly, as I said one last au revoir to everyone who has played an important role in my life over the last four years. In the main, however, they were tears of happiness, as bonds were cemented, and I realised these were friends for life, wherever I am in the World.

In many respects, this week has been a Godsend. Realising I was finally about to leave the UK on the trip of a lifetime, I started to relax and enjoy the final few days here in Portsmouth. With only two days left, I am content with the choice I have made and look forward to the future. It has also been a hard seven days, having to wear a mask at work and keep my distance as much as possible, as I prepare for the long flight to Australia. Having been planning this journey for about six weeks, I have become drained and run down from all the preparation. It has been hard getting to this point, but the days of Darrell and I, spontaneously getting up and going, are well and truly over; this is the adventure of a lifetime, and it has to be done right.

So many people have wanted to say goodbye, that we have been living an emotional tight rope for a while now. Ever since I announced I was taking a lifestyle break from work, I have had so many colleagues asking to spend time with us, that I have been taken aback. A year really is a long time, and Darrell and I realise how important it is to connect with those close before we go. I hope to be back in twelve months, but who knows what will happen.

Apart from going to see my Father, that really is it, the end of our time in the UK for a while. Our life will now consist of traversing the World, experiencing new cultures and living out of a suitcase. This isn't everyone's cup of tea; travelling isn't always glamorous, it does have its downsides. We will be away from family and friends for an extended period and unable to enjoy that one to one interaction, that I so adore. I am a social animal first and want that close contact, on a one to one basis, but I am also someone who needs to explore, looking for answers and reaching out for new and inspiring experiences. It is a choice to travel for most, but for us, it is a way of life, that we haven't experienced for a very long time, since 2019. This is a time of great excitement, but also of trepidation and nervousness.

As I sat on the checkouts completing my last shift on Wednesday, ironically training a new member of staff, on the very till I was first trained on nearly four and a half years previously, a colleague approached and tapped me on the shoulder. Whispering in my ear, she told me a customer, who had become close over the years, had died that very morning. Her sister wanted to come over and see me before I left. This dear lady spoke so eloquently of her sister's last moments, ending by saying, she had hoped 'I had already left on my travels,' because of how difficult it was to tell me of her sister Pats passing. An emotional day, had just become even more emotional, and I was left feeling rather empty after the news. As someone who believes in fate, I truly believe this was meant to be and gave me the green light to leave Fratton, embarking on a new but thought-provoking journey.

So many friends and colleagues have signed cards and given me small gifts and tokens of friendship to take with me. I have been overwhelmed by their generosity and care, and moved by the words they have said. One of my closest colleagues gave me a compass, reminding me, that wherever I was in the World, she would 'find me.' She, like so many others, will always be a part of my life, and I am so happy to have met her and everyone else. My closest friend Jules gave me a beautiful card, (below) and 'Tree of Life' pendant, signifying, according to him, my independence, uniqueness and family bonds. In all but name he is the Brother I never had, and this gift will always link us together, as both of us go our separate ways for now.

From my job at Tesco, I went to The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research, where I made my final farewells to people who have been so important to me during my years here. Walking back into The Newcome felt like coming home; as I sat chatting over a pint of Stella and packet of crisps, I was reminded of where it all started in 2018. I haven't been back here for a while due to work commitments, but I spent many years working here and needed to say goodbye. Yes I know this is a lifestyle break and not forever, but with the world the way it is, I worry when I come back, nothing will be the same again; saying cheerio means closure, so I can happily go off on my mission to find myself....again!

From The Newcome it was on to Cancer Research in Commercial Road for a glass or two of Prosecco and some typically uplifting banter. This is the reason I started volunteering and why I kept coming back. The volunteers and Zerina, especially, are amazing individuals; when Darrell got a job with the shop, I knew how happy he would also be, and I wasn't wrong. I know it is so hard for him leaving everybody, but like me, he has made some memorable friendships. These are people who will always remain in both our hearts, they are quite simply the best of British and the most hard-working, down to earth bunch I have ever known.
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Last visit to see Dad

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Today, a friend from work who I missed yesterday, popped a card and a bottle of wine round. She wanted to come and see me before I left. Once again, I can not stress enough how deeply moved I have been by everyone's good wishes, it really means a lot. As a friend from Spain told me recently, rightly or wrongly, I have touched many lives; I just hope I have done so in a positive way. Angela has always been a beautiful soul, sharing mine and Darrell's love of cats, and has been a great friend during my tenure at Tesco. I will of course see her and everyone else again, but for now I am just happy for the love they have shown.

After Angela's impromptu visit, my Aunty Trisha, Darrell and I went to Titchfield to see my Father. This will be the last time I see him for a while, and I wanted to make sure he was OK. It is true to say I am worried about Dad. He is seventy-five years old and looking a little frail these days, but he repeated how well he was, and I should go off on my travels and not look back.

That is easier said than done. Although I don't see Dad as often as I would like, I enjoy being close by. When my Mother suddenly died in 2019, I was grateful to be near to my Father and glad to be able to do something to ease his pain. If anything happens to him while I am away, it will be harder to return quickly. Nevertheless, he assured me he was fine once again, and I have to take his word for it, after all I have no reason not to. I will naturally worry about him, but will check in as often as I can.

Dad gave me a deeply personal parting gift and a bunch of letters he had found, that I had sent Mum back in 1995. One of them was the very letter I wrote to her, coming out as gay, and my God did that bring back some emotions. My life may well be different to what Dad ever expected or even desired, but it is mine to own, and I have tried to live it as best I can. The unconventional nature of our relationship, separated at times by thousands of miles, has kept us strong as a couple. Our home will always be here in the United Kingdom, after all it's where we live, but torn between two diverging worlds it is our fate to travel, often for long periods of time. We will both know when the time is right to settle down, but for now we will keep following our heart on this endless journey that seems to never ends.

Bye bye UK, I'll see you soon!

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Clayborne's World - Farewell to my Happy Place!

20/8/2022

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As we count down the days to our departure, Clayborne came out on our final farewell to Cancer Research. As the Cancer Research teddy, he travels with Darrell and me on all our trips around the World, so it was only right he was there at our last meal with the crew.

Like us, Clayborne has a lot to look forward to as we travel across the globe and I hope to get as many photographs as I can of this little bear, bringing attention to what, I believe to be, the best charity in the World.

It looks likely this will be one of Clayborne's last UK adventures for a while, but you will see more of him, as he enjoys the beauty of Croatia, wonders of Thailand and uniqueness of Australia. Like us, this will be the biggest undertaking of his life, and we look forward to sharing the memories with you all!


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Farewell To My Happy Place!

20/8/2022

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On Monday, I said a fond farewell to Cancer Research - 'my happy place.' I began volunteering at the shop in Commercial Road in June 2018 on my return from Spain and have always enjoyed my time there. Zerina has been a rock of support for four years, as we discussed and shared our numerous health issues, and my life would have been all the poorer without her. Despite not having volunteered at the shop for a while now, I have always maintained contact and returned when I can to say hello.

Monday was really about Darrell, who has been Deputy Manager at Cancer Research for a little over six months now. I know from talking to Zerina and the volunteers, that he will be missed and has made an impact on all of those who work there. Saying goodbye has always been important for us, because our life has always been so transient. I have lost count of the number of bon voyage parties we have attended and tears that have been shed, as we have embarked on our travels and pastures new. Despite this, in the main, the last few years have been productive and extremely rewarding. If it wasn't for everyone at this little shop, I think we would have left much sooner. Sometimes you need to stay longer than you originally plan, to establish roots in preparation for an impromptu return.

It is the people in Portsmouth who have enriched both our lives since we moved here, and are the most difficult reason against our departure.  We are leaving good friends behind for a year, as we embark on a life-changing journey. Things may well have changed out of all proportion when we return, and that may not necessarily be for the best. Personally, I have always disliked change, which is in complete contrast to my lifestyle, but both Darrell and I are fully aware of just how special our life is. Our willingness to visit new and exciting countries and distant parts of the globe, makes us the couple we have always been.

The food was as wonderful as ever at Spoon World Buffet as fourteen of us sat down to eat. Laughing, joking and reminiscing about days spent at the shop, we all had a memorable final evening together. Darrell is of course still working at the shop until the end of August, like me, and I will have the opportunity to say goodbye to Zerina one final time. However, it felt great to spend time with friends and colleagues in an informal setting, people who have helped shape my life during my time in Portsmouth. I will of miss them more than words can say, but I am thankful for the good times I've had, making money for charity and working together, even during the darkest days of the pandemic. When our travels are complete, Cancer Research will once again be our first port of call, just as it was all those years ago, making more memories to take with us, as we continue with our life, wherever we finally settle down!
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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