Category: Cancer Research - Roaming Brit

From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'

Clayborne's World - Bangkok and Chiang Mai!

3/11/2023

For the last five years, Clayborne the Cancer Research Teddy, has accompanied me on my travels, both in the UK, when I lived there, and abroad. This little bear is looking rather bedraggled these days, having clocked up the air miles, flying all over the World. Like me, however, Clayborne remains a committed traveller, bringing awareness to the good work Cancer Research does and for that reason he remains an important part of my journey, even in my new home of Australia!

Clayborne is a reminder of my years working for Cancer Research, and of the wonderful characters who worked in the little charity shop in Portsmouth. He is also a mascot for me, as I traverse across the planet between my home in Australia, my old home in the UK, and my adopted home of Spain. I feel exhausted just writing that - we really have travelled a lot!

Even now, as I settle into life in Perth, Clayborne remains an important part of my past, as well as crucial to my future direction. He may well be, essentially, just a stuffed toy, with a wonky head and dishevelled fur, but he is a reflection of my life over the last half decade and hopefully a special part of my future travels as well.

If this little bear could talk, what stories he would have to tell. Travelling to America on a repatriation flight, during the COVID pandemic, has been the highlight of Claybornes endeavours, and I'm sure the best is yet to come.

Like me, Clayborne enjoyed Thailand for a second time, and looks forward to our trip to Japan next year. Apart from Darrell, Clayborne is the second most important part of my life. He may well just be a bear, but he is my bear and very much a part of my family! I really am such a sentimental old man!

Year in Review 2022!

27/12/2022

Wow, what a year it has been for both me and Darrell. So much has happened in such a small space of time, I just don't know where to begin. I suppose I should start at the beginning - Darrell had been back in the UK for just a few short months and both of us were planning a future together in Portsmouth, in the aftermath of a pandemic that had conspired to keep us apart for nearly two years.

We were pretty happy and sorted at the beginning of 2022. Both of us were working in jobs we loved and were discussing the possibility of buying a home together for the first time in many years. The pandemic had been kind to us at least, and we had saved up a substantial amount of money for a deposit, but it just wasn't enough for somewhere big enough for our needs. To be honest, when I look back, I don't think either of us really wanted to live in a pokey one-bedroom flat, in a city we just couldn't call our own. I'm not sure if that sounds completely right, but what I am trying to say is, it never really felt like home. It didn't have the memories needed to form an emotional attachment. Although I had some strong friendships, keeping that connection alive, ultimately it wasn't enough to keep us in this famous naval city, on the south coast of England.

Darrell was working hard at Cancer Research in a job he loved. His boss and my friend Zerina was instrumental in keeping us both in Portsmouth for as long as we were there. She is one of my closest and dearest friends and a lady I hold in the highest regard. She has helped both me and Darrell out more times than I care to remember. Her advice has been invaluable, and she was a huge presence in both our lives. I don't think I have ever seen Darrell so happy in his work, as he was there, and he really put his heart and soul into a position he loved. Back then, I was sure we would stay in Portsmouth for the rest of our days.

Equally, I was thoroughly enjoying my position at Tesco, as I had done since I started there in 2018. In many ways, I had become part of the furniture and had settled into my role with ease. For the first time in many years, I had formed close friendships with some truly remarkable characters. These were the lifeline that kept me going when Darrell was away, and they held me together, while living a rather frugal existence in Portsmouth.

My colleagues on the Customer Service desk where I worked were such a close-knit group, it was always going to be a wrench leaving them behind under any circumstances, let alone what transpired later in the year. Together with my closest friend Jules, this was the World I wanted to keep, grasp tightly and not want to let go!

Jules was normally the first person I saw every morning, forever smiling, consistently welcoming and invariably so full of life. We talked about everything and anything, and he is the nearest to the Brother I have never really had. Our bond grew especially close during my last year in the UK, and I really don't think I would have survived those final days in Portsmouth without him. He was a shoulder to cry on, an encyclopedia of advice and always, just always that little bit 'extra gay'. Every morning we saw one another, we would always have the biggest bear hug and make sure to end our morning natter before work by saying those immortal words 'be extra gay today,' as we did every day, bringing a little bit of sunshine into an otherwise drab, dull world.

Of course nothing was quite as it seemed and although my work life was the best it had ever been, things at home were not working out. I had lived with my Aunt for four years and thoroughly enjoyed my time there. She was, in all but name, Mum, especially after my Mother died in 2019. My Aunt, Darrell and I all got on well in the same house, and it was an arrangement that worked perfectly for the most part. I suppose I became complacent and took our living situation for granted, believing things would carry on very much in the same vein, even when the danger signs were there.

Her son and my Cousin moved back into the family home in the middle of the year and despite a rocky start, things worked fine. I have always had a close bond with my Cousin, and in many respects he reminds me of myself. I'm not saying everything was a bed of roses, but we all learned to live under the same roof amicably and life continued as it had done before. Darrell and I did keep ourselves to ourselves a lot more, but I believe deep down we already knew it was time to leave.

Things came to a head after an uncalled-for family intervention. This was an unnecessary interference into what was essentially a personal matter, problems that just needed to be ironed out and boundaries set. As is the case in many families, talking seems to take a back seat, as situations spiral out of control, everyone burying their head in the sand, hoping issues will just go away. Both Darrell and I are as guilty of that as anyone. Sometimes it takes an argument to brings things to the fore and make us realise there is more to life.

My Cousin Rachel is one of the most honest up front people you will ever meet and despite a rather heated exchange of views, both Darrell and I were glad things were said as they were. This was a row that all three of us would have sorted out, no matter what the outcome, and we just expected things to return to normal. Like best laid plans of mice and men, it didn't work out that way, and an unwarranted text from someone who had not even witnessed the argument, suggesting Darrell and I should consider our position in Portsmouth, finally put the nail in the coffin.

We both decided, after receiving the text, that it was time to go. When people start digging the knife in, without a thought for no one but themselves, let alone two people who had done nothing but help, we knew our time was up. For our own sanity and peace of mind, we had to leave. There was no point staying somewhere where neither of us were wanted. This was a sad ending to our time in Portsmouth, but it also gave us an insight into what some people are really like. When a leopard finally shows its spots and the abuse starts flowing, it is time to head for the hills and not look back.

I will forever be thankful to my Aunt for taking me in at a particularly difficult point in my life. I will also always love my Cousins Rachel and Joe and their respective extended families. However, when I look back, I suppose I was never really a part of their lives anyway; I lived very much on the side lines, and both Darrell and I were quite happy to go back to 'us against the World,' and avoid family ties altogether - it's how we work best.

Initially we just walked away from a situation that had become toxic, but after a chat with my Aunt we returned to see if we could repair the damage that had been done. Despite getting closer to my Cousin Joe, spending a memorable last few months with him, we just couldn't see a future in that house with my family, and we decided to return to Australia and give this place one last chance. This was not an easy decision to make, but as I watched the decline of Britain on the news, and my own personal issues bubbling away, the warning signs were there; I knew it was something we had to do.

I spoke to my employer, who was amazing and fully supported my decision to take a 'lifestyle break' for a year, leaving the option to return to my job on the table, should everything fail down under. I couldn't thank my Manager Sammy enough for all she did for me at that time. Without her, I would have just walked out of Tesco and been left high and dry in the worst of circumstances. Her advice and help ensured a smooth transition to a new life in Australia.

The last month in Britain was a double-edged sword. This was a time I cemented friendships in a way I hadn't before. I had so many leaving parties, I lost count of the number of times I said goodbye, but these were people who wanted to give us a memorable send-off and show just how much they cared. I was on an emotional rollercoaster, and many tears flowed over the weeks before we left. Many of those who waved us on our way have kept in contact and continue to wish us well. All of them made our departure that much harder, and there were times I really thought about staying, but pulled myself back from the brink and continued to strive for a better future in Perth.

The hardest person to leave behind was Jules, tears really did flow on my final day. After all the planning, arranging of flights, hotels and travel, nothing can prepare you for actually saying goodbye to someone close, akin to family. Jules will always be in my life, I will make sure of that. I video call him when I can and message him often. My life is a little darker without him in it, and I wish things had turned out differently and our friendship could have grown into something even more special than it already is. It wasn't meant to be, and I will keep the flame of friendship burning bright from the other side of the World. There will always be a special place in my heart for the best friend who kept me going in the worst of times; of course I will always have regrets, but I also have to look forwards to the future.

We left Portsmouth on a rainy Saturday morning, after a series of emotional farewells. On that final day, Zerina turned up on the door step, just so she could wave us off. She did what others didn't, people who should have been there, and for that she will, like Jules, remain a friend for life. She also continues to phone, message and video call; as Darrell said to me, just the other day, she would have been his reason to stay. Zerina, along with Jules and my dear friend John, were the family we should have had, the people who truly loved us, and we loved back. You certainly can't choose your family, but you can evidently give it a damn good try!

Sitting at the airport, waiting for our first flight to Croatia, I was able to reflect on my time in the UK. I had, and still have, a feeling I won't be back any time soon, definitely not to live again, and it was time to let go of the past. At great milestones in my life, I have always thought about the 'what if's' and 'buts.' Our almost knee-jerk reaction to up and leave, had brought home the nature of what we were doing, we were leaving Britain for good, saying farewell to friends for the last time, but happy to leave the crap behind. In a few hours we would be with loving family in Croatia, with people who we cared for deeply, far away from the pain we were leaving behind.

Our trip to Australia was always about saying au revoir. With the UK becoming a distant memory, it was now time to connect with our Croatian Cousins before continuing on to Thailand. Marin and Vlatka had been in our lives since 2008, when Darrell went to Croatia to see family for the first time. We continued to go there year after year, and had many special memories to take with us on our journey home to Oz.

It had been a few years since we last saw them, and we hugged just like it was yesterday. Spending ten days with them at their home in Makarska was a joy and made us realise what family was all about. We had had such a torrid time before we left, we forgot that there were people who actually loved us and within a few short hours of arriving, we were comfortably at home, looked after by people who only had our best interests at heart.

Spending two weeks in Croatia was just what we both needed. We spent time visiting the Dalmatian Coast, relaxing in one of the many cafés and bars along the Makarska Riviera, gazing at the icy blue sea and just enjoying the peace and quiet. Vlatka and Marin prepared home cooked meals, and we sat talking to the early hours, catching up on family life in this beautiful Dalmatian town. I always feel like I am home when I am in Croatia, and this trip was no exception. This is a family like no other and the love they show is certainly unparalleled in my life; leaving is always the hardest part

Sitting outside a bar in Makarska, drinking a pint of Karlovacko, I heard murmurs from the tourists walking along the promenade. It had become apparent that HM Queen Elizabeth had died back home in Scotland. This amazing lady, the best public servant the UK has ever known, had quietly passed away, leaving a great gaping hole in all our lives.

My respect for the Queen goes back to my childhood, she is the only Monarch I have ever known. I became emotional, as I would if it had been a member of my own family. The Queen was the constant in my life, and she was now no longer there; words can not describe how upset I was.

I suppose in a way, it was quite poignant that she passed away as we were leaving the UK for a new life down under. An era was well and truly coming to an end, and her passing just reinforced the decision I made to leave. I was at least able to toast her passing, and made a promise to myself to watch the funeral from Thailand on the next leg of my journey.

Leaving Croatia was a wrench, as it always has been, but the time we spent with family was invaluable. We promised not to leave it so long in future and both of us know our family ties are always a reason to return to Europe, as we will do as soon as we are able.

Flying back into London to catch our flight to Bangkok was a rather surreal experience. The death of The Queen was palpable. Walking through the terminal after our arrival, there were TV screens and poster boards everywhere highlighting Her Majesties 70 years on the throne. I had returned to a country in mourning and a very different Kingdom. There was a quiet calmness about the place, as people reflected on just what Elizabeth II meant to them, deep in thought, glazed expression and respectful repose.

I would have loved to have laid flowers in her honour, but with our connecting flight less than 24 hours away, I was lucky enough to have a friend do it for me. Little John was heading to London that day, I was supposed to meet him, but with delays, it had become impossible, and he put a bouquet down in green park from him and me; a gesture I will never forget. This is what friends are for, and that's what made leaving Britain so hard.

Our two weeks in Bangkok were amazing, more than what we both expected. This was a city we both fell madly in love with, and a place we want to return to as soon as we are able. Bangkok is where modernity meets traditional Asian culture, sitting side by side, down every street, around every corner. There was so much to do and see, that we couldn't have possibly fit in everything we wanted to do. From the BTS Sky Train, Statue of The Golden Buddha and the many Royal Palaces, we weren't disappointed!

We spent the first part of our trip in the notorious Patpong district of the city, and this colourful area really did live up to its reputation. Patpong was an eye-opener in every respect, and we enjoyed some rather fun fuelled nights in the bars and restaurants down Silom Soi 4, where all the gay venues were situated. This rather hedonistic introduction to Bangkok, left us aghast on more than one occasion, but I am certainly glad we ventured into the dark depths of the city, even for just a short while.

Here I was able to see The late Queen Elizabeth's funeral on my laptop. Sat in The Siam Heritage Hotel, surrounded by oriental splendour, I was able to pay my respects to Her late Majesty and remember with fondness, her legacy and significance for me. It did feel strange being away from the UK at this time, but then this was just the beginning of our new life and as I watched from afar, the penny finally dropped; in all probability we will never live in Britain again. Our life was firmly on track towards our new home in Australia.

From Patpong and the Siam Heritage, we travelled across the city to Samsen Road, one of the oldest parts of the city. Here we settled into our luxurious hotel, where we enjoyed a more relaxing time. Close to all the major historical sites, we spent our time exploring this stunning part of Bangkok, visiting everything we could.

Darrell and I had firmly removed Britain from our thoughts, preferring to concentrate on the future. Travelling has always helped us forget some of the more difficult periods of our life, and this European/Asian adventure was the tonic we both needed. After several months of hell, we were now able to sit back and enjoy our favourite part of the World, free from pressure and stress, doom and gloom.

Surrounded by the beauty Bangkok offers, we immersed ourselves in the culture of a country that was so far removed from our own, yet strangely felt familiar and homely. This was a place where we both felt at ease, reassured and untroubled.

Opposite The Nuovo City Hotel, where we stayed, sat a small family run restaurant, 'So Samsen.' This became our go-to place and every evening we would go there for dinner. The food was exquisite, cooked by hostess Aom and her colleagues. Aom's credentials were impeccable, having helped set up a Michelin Star restaurant here in Perth, Western Australia, and at a reasonable price, we were able to taste the best of Thai food at a fraction of the price.

The ambiance was perfect; after each meal we sat looking out across the street where we were based, just chatting about the future, stroking the resident cat and soaking in the atmosphere. The girls, at So Samsen, would often sit and speak with us, adding to the friendly 'family' vibe. Both Darrell and I needed 'So Samsen' at that point in our journey, it reminded us, that there were good people out there, and a whole World to explore. I have never felt so secure somewhere in my life, and I know we were both reluctant to leave this pretty little restaurant behind. Its significance will remain a part of us always, as we continue our travels across the World.

.... and so to Australia where we are today, preparing, hopefully, for the rest of our life together. This has unsurprisingly been the hardest part of our journey. When I left the UK five months ago, I never believed my life would be where it is today. Back then I thought I would get somewhere to live pretty quickly, settle down and continue doing the same job I did in the UK. However, nothing ever turns out the way you want it to. Australia has changed out of all proportion since I was last here in 1997 and the differences are clear to see.

Back in the late 90s, finding somewhere to live was easy, today nothing but. After the worldwide pandemic, property is few and far between, and we are still, after three months, living was Darrell's Mother. This has of course made life very difficult, and we are continuing to battle very much as we did in the UK. This is the worst part of life here in Perth; everything else, however, seems on the surface at least, to be going in our favour.

My application to remain in Australia is in and in a couple of days, on the 28th December, I will finally be 'legally illegal.' My 'Bridging Visa A' will be activated, and I can live and work here unhindered. So far so good, but one has to remember this is only a temporary visa, before my final Spouse or Permanent Resident Visa is issued at some point in the future. Nevertheless, all the fees and solicitor costs are now paid, and it is now a waiting game, to see if I am accepted or not.

I completed my medical assessment several weeks ago and this will either give me the green light to stay, or signal our departure towards pastures new yet again. The results I have received back so far are good, but the major one isn't back yet. As part of the process I had to undergo a chest X-ray and as an ex smoker for the last thirty years, I am hoping nothing too major is flagged up, but only time will tell if that is the case. Everything else is perfect and good to go, I just hope this final hurdle is crossed without too much difficulty.

I have also got a job, one of the first I applied for, and will be starting as a Senior Manager for a large corporation just ten minutes from where I live now. The pay is double what I was earning in Britain, and it looks like this could be the job that secures my future in Australia.

Also on a positive note, we should now be able to buy a property early in the new year. We have both built up substantial savings and with a dual income, we have been told we can borrow up to $500,000. This will allow us to finally have a place of our own, not waste money on rent, and finally, after 27 years together, settle into Australian life.

The decision to leave The UK was always about taking a chance at a new life and as reluctant as I have been in the past, I am glad I threw caution to the wind and grasped the opportunity with both hands. I suppose the last few months in Britain showed me I had nothing to stay for, except the few friends I had made, and of course my Father. These important people will always be in my life wherever I am, here in Australia or in the UK, they will always have a pivotal role to play.

At 51 years old, I am glad to have made a decision to restart and reboot my life and hope everything turns out for the best. Both of us are travellers at heart, so in the worst case scenario, we will just continue what we enjoy doing most and take off on another impromptu expedition, looking out for another place to settle. We only get one chance in this World, and as my Father said to me recently, before I left, I have to make the most of my time and go where my heart desires. Whether this is my final destination or not, is irrelevant, the fact is, we are doing what we love; the hope is of course that the outcome is favourable, and we can finally leave the past behind!

Clayborne in Bangkok!

1/10/2022

Clayborne in Croatia!

1/10/2022

That's All Folks!

1/9/2022

Cancer Research

Tesco

Newcome Arms

Well Thursday really was an emotional day, as I said farewell to friends and colleagues from Tesco, The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research - all places I have worked since my return to Portsmouth from Spain in 2018. To say leaving Portsmouth, even for a year, will be an enormous wrench is somewhat of an understatement. Emotions really have been running high for me, as I have said my goodbyes to some fantastic friends. I am not a person who cries easily, so Thursday just showed me how lucky I am, having made some wonderful memories with some truly amazing characters; the tears did flow briefly, as I said one last au revoir to everyone who has played an important role in my life over the last four years. In the main, however, they were tears of happiness, as bonds were cemented, and I realised these were friends for life, wherever I am in the World.

In many respects, this week has been a Godsend. Realising I was finally about to leave the UK on the trip of a lifetime, I started to relax and enjoy the final few days here in Portsmouth. With only two days left, I am content with the choice I have made and look forward to the future. It has also been a hard seven days, having to wear a mask at work and keep my distance as much as possible, as I prepare for the long flight to Australia. Having been planning this journey for about six weeks, I have become drained and run down from all the preparation. It has been hard getting to this point, but the days of Darrell and I, spontaneously getting up and going, are well and truly over; this is the adventure of a lifetime, and it has to be done right.

So many people have wanted to say goodbye, that we have been living an emotional tight rope for a while now. Ever since I announced I was taking a lifestyle break from work, I have had so many colleagues asking to spend time with us, that I have been taken aback. A year really is a long time, and Darrell and I realise how important it is to connect with those close before we go. I hope to be back in twelve months, but who knows what will happen.

Apart from going to see my Father, that really is it, the end of our time in the UK for a while. Our life will now consist of traversing the World, experiencing new cultures and living out of a suitcase. This isn't everyone's cup of tea; travelling isn't always glamorous, it does have its downsides. We will be away from family and friends for an extended period and unable to enjoy that one to one interaction, that I so adore. I am a social animal first and want that close contact, on a one to one basis, but I am also someone who needs to explore, looking for answers and reaching out for new and inspiring experiences. It is a choice to travel for most, but for us, it is a way of life, that we haven't experienced for a very long time, since 2019. This is a time of great excitement, but also of trepidation and nervousness.

As I sat on the checkouts completing my last shift on Wednesday, ironically training a new member of staff, on the very till I was first trained on nearly four and a half years previously, a colleague approached and tapped me on the shoulder. Whispering in my ear, she told me a customer, who had become close over the years, had died that very morning. Her sister wanted to come over and see me before I left. This dear lady spoke so eloquently of her sister's last moments, ending by saying, she had hoped 'I had already left on my travels,' because of how difficult it was to tell me of her sister Pats passing. An emotional day, had just become even more emotional, and I was left feeling rather empty after the news. As someone who believes in fate, I truly believe this was meant to be and gave me the green light to leave Fratton, embarking on a new but thought-provoking journey.

So many friends and colleagues have signed cards and given me small gifts and tokens of friendship to take with me. I have been overwhelmed by their generosity and care, and moved by the words they have said. One of my closest colleagues gave me a compass, reminding me, that wherever I was in the World, she would 'find me.' She, like so many others, will always be a part of my life, and I am so happy to have met her and everyone else. My closest friend Jules gave me a beautiful card, (below) and 'Tree of Life' pendant, signifying, according to him, my independence, uniqueness and family bonds. In all but name he is the Brother I never had, and this gift will always link us together, as both of us go our separate ways for now.

From my job at Tesco, I went to The Newcome Arms and Cancer Research, where I made my final farewells to people who have been so important to me during my years here. Walking back into The Newcome felt like coming home; as I sat chatting over a pint of Stella and packet of crisps, I was reminded of where it all started in 2018. I haven't been back here for a while due to work commitments, but I spent many years working here and needed to say goodbye. Yes I know this is a lifestyle break and not forever, but with the world the way it is, I worry when I come back, nothing will be the same again; saying cheerio means closure, so I can happily go off on my mission to find myself....again!

From The Newcome it was on to Cancer Research in Commercial Road for a glass or two of Prosecco and some typically uplifting banter. This is the reason I started volunteering and why I kept coming back. The volunteers and Zerina, especially, are amazing individuals; when Darrell got a job with the shop, I knew how happy he would also be, and I wasn't wrong. I know it is so hard for him leaving everybody, but like me, he has made some memorable friendships. These are people who will always remain in both our hearts, they are quite simply the best of British and the most hard-working, down to earth bunch I have ever known.

Last visit to see Dad

Today, a friend from work who I missed yesterday, popped a card and a bottle of wine round. She wanted to come and see me before I left. Once again, I can not stress enough how deeply moved I have been by everyone's good wishes, it really means a lot. As a friend from Spain told me recently, rightly or wrongly, I have touched many lives; I just hope I have done so in a positive way. Angela has always been a beautiful soul, sharing mine and Darrell's love of cats, and has been a great friend during my tenure at Tesco. I will of course see her and everyone else again, but for now I am just happy for the love they have shown.

After Angela's impromptu visit, my Aunty Trisha, Darrell and I went to Titchfield to see my Father. This will be the last time I see him for a while, and I wanted to make sure he was OK. It is true to say I am worried about Dad. He is seventy-five years old and looking a little frail these days, but he repeated how well he was, and I should go off on my travels and not look back.

That is easier said than done. Although I don't see Dad as often as I would like, I enjoy being close by. When my Mother suddenly died in 2019, I was grateful to be near to my Father and glad to be able to do something to ease his pain. If anything happens to him while I am away, it will be harder to return quickly. Nevertheless, he assured me he was fine once again, and I have to take his word for it, after all I have no reason not to. I will naturally worry about him, but will check in as often as I can.

Dad gave me a deeply personal parting gift and a bunch of letters he had found, that I had sent Mum back in 1995. One of them was the very letter I wrote to her, coming out as gay, and my God did that bring back some emotions. My life may well be different to what Dad ever expected or even desired, but it is mine to own, and I have tried to live it as best I can. The unconventional nature of our relationship, separated at times by thousands of miles, has kept us strong as a couple. Our home will always be here in the United Kingdom, after all it's where we live, but torn between two diverging worlds it is our fate to travel, often for long periods of time. We will both know when the time is right to settle down, but for now we will keep following our heart on this endless journey that seems to never ends.

Bye bye UK, I'll see you soon!

Clayborne's World - Farewell to my Happy Place!

20/8/2022

As we count down the days to our departure, Clayborne came out on our final farewell to Cancer Research. As the Cancer Research teddy, he travels with Darrell and me on all our trips around the World, so it was only right he was there at our last meal with the crew.

Like us, Clayborne has a lot to look forward to as we travel across the globe and I hope to get as many photographs as I can of this little bear, bringing attention to what, I believe to be, the best charity in the World.

It looks likely this will be one of Clayborne's last UK adventures for a while, but you will see more of him, as he enjoys the beauty of Croatia, wonders of Thailand and uniqueness of Australia. Like us, this will be the biggest undertaking of his life, and we look forward to sharing the memories with you all!

Farewell To My Happy Place!

20/8/2022

On Monday, I said a fond farewell to Cancer Research - 'my happy place.' I began volunteering at the shop in Commercial Road in June 2018 on my return from Spain and have always enjoyed my time there. Zerina has been a rock of support for four years, as we discussed and shared our numerous health issues, and my life would have been all the poorer without her. Despite not having volunteered at the shop for a while now, I have always maintained contact and returned when I can to say hello.

Monday was really about Darrell, who has been Deputy Manager at Cancer Research for a little over six months now. I know from talking to Zerina and the volunteers, that he will be missed and has made an impact on all of those who work there. Saying goodbye has always been important for us, because our life has always been so transient. I have lost count of the number of bon voyage parties we have attended and tears that have been shed, as we have embarked on our travels and pastures new. Despite this, in the main, the last few years have been productive and extremely rewarding. If it wasn't for everyone at this little shop, I think we would have left much sooner. Sometimes you need to stay longer than you originally plan, to establish roots in preparation for an impromptu return.

It is the people in Portsmouth who have enriched both our lives since we moved here, and are the most difficult reason against our departure. We are leaving good friends behind for a year, as we embark on a life-changing journey. Things may well have changed out of all proportion when we return, and that may not necessarily be for the best. Personally, I have always disliked change, which is in complete contrast to my lifestyle, but both Darrell and I are fully aware of just how special our life is. Our willingness to visit new and exciting countries and distant parts of the globe, makes us the couple we have always been.

The food was as wonderful as ever at Spoon World Buffet as fourteen of us sat down to eat. Laughing, joking and reminiscing about days spent at the shop, we all had a memorable final evening together. Darrell is of course still working at the shop until the end of August, like me, and I will have the opportunity to say goodbye to Zerina one final time. However, it felt great to spend time with friends and colleagues in an informal setting, people who have helped shape my life during my time in Portsmouth. I will of miss them more than words can say, but I am thankful for the good times I've had, making money for charity and working together, even during the darkest days of the pandemic. When our travels are complete, Cancer Research will once again be our first port of call, just as it was all those years ago, making more memories to take with us, as we continue with our life, wherever we finally settle down!

The Long Journey Ahead!

26/7/2022

Having made the decision to take a year-long lifestyle break from work, now comes the hard bit. My calendar is full for the next few weeks, as I say farewell to friends and colleagues from Tesco and Cancer Research. Both of us made a conscious choice not to get involved with other people too closely, over the last few years. It was a decision born from experience and a need to save as much money as possible for our journey ahead. We had targets to meet to fund our trip, so we tried to not over spend and only buy essentials. I can probably count on two hands the amount of times I went on a good night out, and as sad as that is, it has given me more options today, as we set our sights on the holiday of a lifetime!

I am trying to spend as much time as possible with my nearest and dearest here in Portsmouth before we leave. After all, this isn't the usual holiday. Cancer Research has played a huge part in my life over the last four years and even though I no longer volunteer regularly, it is always good to catch up with Zerina and the rest of the team. I know Darrell has thoroughly enjoyed his six months there as Deputy Manager. Without this charity shop, my faith in charities and the good work they do, would have never been restored. As readers of Roaming Brit are aware, my blogging career started through adverse times at Oxfam, so anything that helped me overcome my fears was welcome.

Naturally Clayborne the Cancer Research Teddy will be coming with me, as he does on all my trips abroad, highlighting the good things this charity does. Clayborne came with Darrell and me when we last left the UK on our travels to the far east. He will equally be a marker for the sites and sounds we encounter this time. This little bear has travelled further than me over the last few years during the pandemic. He was even part of a repatriation flight to Los Angeles, when COVID was at its height. Cancer Research will leave a long legacy in the name of Clayborne, and he will be a link to this wonderful shop in the heart of Portsmouth for as long as I can travel!

With my Father approaching his 75th Birthday, I am trying to spend as much time with him as possible over the next few weeks. Today I visited him and also my Aunt at home in Fareham. Dad is understandably apprehensive about me taking a 'gap year' at 51 years old, but as I said to him, 'I want to enjoy travelling before I am too old.' Dad isn't someone who has ever been on holiday abroad, so for him, it is a concept he finds difficult to understand. Nevertheless, he has given me his blessing and just wants me to be happy. He understands both Darrell and I are travellers at heart, and although I will miss him terribly, I will see him again in a year!

The Siam Heritage Hotel will be our first port of call in Bangkok, as we spend four days in the heart of this vibrant city. This small boutique, traditional Thai hotel, will give us plenty of time to explore downtown Bangkok, a five-minute walk from Patpong and its extraordinary nightlife. This place suits me down to the ground, as a lover of accepted, time-honoured traditions. Modernity and souless architecture have never really been my thing; I would prefer that my stay in Thailand is more culturally centred, staying in surroundings more in keeping with the country in which I am staying.

This evening we are looking at hotels along the riverside, near to many of the historic monuments, in complete contrast to the fast pace of Patpong. I enjoy seeing the different contrasts of city life and like to experience the diversity that makes up the urban sprawl. I am immediately drawn to Chao Phraya River in the centre of Bangkok, having lived near or close to water most of my life, and would like to stay in a Hotel overlooking this stunning waterfront. Wherever we stay in Bangkok, we are both looking forward to exploring a new city once again; This is what makes us gel as a couple, creating more memories for years to come.

Choa Phraya River

We have also booked our flights to Croatia, Thailand and Australia and have been looking at flying to Bali and Indonesia after a two-month stay travelling across Australia. I have booked tickets direct with Thai Airways, having flown with them before, when we travelled to Vietnam in 2019. It was probably one of the best long haul flights I have ever been on, and although I am not looking forward to wearing a mask all the way to Perth, Western Australia, I understand the rules and regulations are in place to protect everyone flying with the airline. This will be a holiday like no other for many reasons, but at the tail end of the biggest pandemic in over a hundred years, it is even more poignant for us. Despite my initial fears, this is a journey we both need to take, as we get to know one another again after our two years of forced separation!

The next few weeks before our departure are going to be hectic. Planning a long trip isn't without its pitfalls. Working out an itinerary that works for both of us, especially two people with very different ideas, can be problematic. However, we've done this many times before, and it is the one thing at the moment, that keeps us focused. I am looking forward to leaving Portsmouth behind for an extended period, it is my home, yes, but it is also a place I have grown tired of. Maybe a year away will help me reconnect with this great naval city, returning on very different terms. For now, it will be a fond bon voyage, in future I may fall in love with Pompey once again, who knows... Only time will tell!

Clayborne's World – Trip to London!

11/5/2022

A day out in London for Clayborne this May. Mixing with the hoi polloi in Harrods, a few drinks at The Punch and Judy in Covent Garden and a trip along embankment in the rain. This was the first time he had been out since his trip to Los Angeles, during the height of the pandemic.

Clayborne, spreading the word of Cancer Research far and wide!

My Feet Have Barely Touched The Ground!

9/11/2021

Being preoccupied with work recently, has been an absolute God send. At times, I moan about all the extra shifts I've taken on, complaining about how tired I am and how I should relax a bit more. However, it is my choice to take on any extra hours and if I am honest, I not only enjoy it, but it also helps me deal with the pressures I am under at the moment. I am fortunate to be doing jobs I love, working with people who I adore and always have time for. My colleagues listen to my tales of woe and also lift me up when I am feeling down; God knows there have been a lot of days like that over the last month or so.

Juggling two jobs, charity work and blogging, has never been easy, but I am well aware of the importance of earning money, especially at the moment. I have managed to build a life here in Portsmouth after leaving Spain in 2018, and I am happier now, than I have been in a long time, despite the hurdles I have to overcome on a daily basis. Thankfully, Darrell is home from Australia, and we can both face the future together; far easier than doing it on ones own.

Whether I am working in the Newcome Arms, or in the local supermarket, I am just thankful to be employed, especially during this enduring pandemic. There has been moments of fun and laughter also, even while working in busy and challenging environments. Halloween has been a fantastic opportunity to let my hair down, despite working in my various roles. Dressing up and getting involved has been a real stress reliever. For a brief period of time, I have been able to forget about my own issues and concentrate on living in the moment. I am comfortable being in other people's company, chatting and soaking up the atmosphere at such a magical time of year.

Working hard in paid employment has had consequences for my charity work, however. Currently, I am having to work seven days a week, in order to support Darrell, while he waits for his new biometric card; Cancer Research has had to take a back seat for now!

It has been difficult stepping back from Zerina and the rest of the volunteers, even for a short while. This was my time, a day for me to enjoy the company of like-minded individuals and be who I want to be. Darrell, however, has started to work there himself, while I am unable to, and that makes me happy, keeping that link alive while I do what I have to do.

As I begin a well-earned break and a short period of annual leave, I was able to pop into the shop in Commercial Road to say hi to everyone, and it felt like coming home. You have to remember this was the first place I started to work at, back in 2018. These were the first people I interacted with, after returning from Gran Alacant and the job that helped me restart my life in the UK. Naturally I have a strong affection for Cancer Research and everyone who works there and will most certainly be back in the future.

Despite my work commitments, I have managed to spend some valuable time with family, even if it was brief. My Aunt threw a Halloween party for the grandchildren and friends, and it was a great afternoon. It is events like this that make for noteworthy memories; without the kids, cousins and friends, my life would be all the poorer. At fifty years old, I have realised the significance of my kin folk and having them around. It is true, I have never been a big family man; there are periods I just want my space and time for Darrell and me, but I am well aware of how richer my life is with them in it.

It is important to note my continued battle with weight loss at this point. I am well aware I haven't been easy to live with since the beginning of October. When I began my quest to lose a few kilograms, I was well aware of the multiple times I have tried to diet in the past, all without success. On the 4th October I weighed nearly a hundred kilograms, today I weigh 89 kg, which is nearly a loss of two stone. It has been hard sticking to a strict calorie controlled diet, especially with all the stress I have, but surprisingly I have continued to follow my programme. This certainly isn't something I could maintain indefinitely, especially with all the work I have to do, but it is an encouragement to reach my goal of a 15 kg weight loss by the end of this month.

On top of this, I have had to endure the spectre of a reoccurring health issue, that has resurfaced after a long break. I am currently taking antibiotics for Diverticulitis, and they have rather knocked me for six. After seeing three Doctors in just two days and undergoing test after test, the results of which I am still waiting for, I have been given a course of two strong antibiotics, which have turned my stomach inside out; not great when you have IBS. Today I am having a semi fasting day and trying to manage my symptoms as best I can. My stomach is a lot calmer than it was, but still doesn't feel right.

Going out last night, with my old college friend Ramona, probably didn't help my IBS, but it's been five months since we saw each other and a long-overdue visit was in order. Darrell, Ramona and I popped down to Gunwharf Quays for a meal at Bella Italia, not part of my weight loss regime, but necessary nonetheless.

Neither of us have seen many friends, over the last few years, especially with the pandemic; it was important for us to start making time for those we regard as close and begin spending quality time with each other again. Like us, Ramona has had her fair share of ups and downs, so sharing our experiences helps, when we are going through hard times. It's always great to see Ramona, someone I have known for thirty years, she understands me more than anyone I know apart from Darrell and has always been an integral part of my life. She is the one person I can count on, while the rest of the 'hangers on' disappeared, usually up their own ar*es, and I thank God she remains firmly in my life.

....And finally...

There's a new cat in the house, Ragner the Ragdoll… He is absolutely adorable and the perfect addition to my Aunts household. If I had my way, I'd have hundreds of cats, so this twelve-week-old boy is just the icing on the cake, especially for my Aunt, who he absolutely loves. As a pedigree, he has a character and personality like no other, and I know he will give all of us joy at the end of a hard day's work. Cats are the biggest destresser I know, and he is already helping with the anxiety I feel on a daily basis!

... Things can only get better!