It is always heartening to receive feedback on blog posts, positive or negative. I inherit a lot of comments and messages, mainly though the wonders of facebook. Today I received a message about my latest entry entitled 'Year In Review - Family' from a member of my own family, a cousin I haven't spoken to in well over a generation. I have only recently got in contact, with this person and  am so glad I did. At a time when I have been feeling rather nostalgic for all things British, missing friends and family, he was able to give me some words of comfort and encouragement, not to mention a supporting ear in which to sound off in, metaphorically speaking of course.

It can be difficult writing down feelings and emotions, especially those to do with family; these bonds are chequered and somewhat sparse, especially over the last ten or so years. There are many events, circumstances and difficulties, that myself and my cousin, don't know about each other. My life deviated away from the tiny market town, where I grew up, his stayed very much rooted in the memories of the past. I admire the fact he still lives in the town of his birth and envy his connection to  people I haven't seen for years. I can't get those lost years back, but I can at least focus my efforts on renewing links that are just waiting to be reattached; a continuation of where I left off, all those years ago. 

I will be paying my cousin a visit, when I eventually touch down on British soil again. His comments were much needed and appreciated, his words of advice taken on board and his genuine affection the biggest gift of all.

When people ask me why I blog, everyday, I am not always sure of the right thing to say; today gave me a real reason, apart from having too much to say, a crusade to fight or a story to tell; today gave me the true meaning of blogging; to connect with people, reignite friendships and relationships and of course move away from the pain of the past.

"Blogging is a powerful medium, don't let anyone tell you any different!"

​I haven’t been employed by Oxfam for two years this week; quite a while in anyone’s book. Someone asked me the other day, if it wasn’t time to move forwards with my life now and forget the injustices of the past; to be honest, they may well have a point but the time for forgetting, is not yet. I have of course moved on in life and in many respects have left Oxfam far behind in my thoughts, but you have to remember, this charity is still causing harm to others, peoples lives are being turned upside down, employees and volunteers are still being hurt; the bullying continues; unchecked. As a person, I would be failing in my duty, if I didn’t continue fighting for justice; not only for me but also others who are still suffering attacks from some truly terrible individuals, who remain in-situ, in charge of people; many of whom are vulnerable, without a voice.

When I left Oxfam in December 2015, after a sustained campaign of bullying and harassment, not only from my Manager, but also others, further up the Management tree, I made a vow, that I would continue fighting for a World without bullies. I could not sit idly by, whilst the tormentors remained in charge. I have a conscience and could not live with myself if anyone else got hurt without me saying a word. Well this year, I have continued to voice my opinion and campaign against this charity, its lies and try and bring about changes for the good of everyone who works at this organisation. In fact in 2017 I have had more response and input from people like you, my readers, than ever before. This is the enduring legacy I can take with me, as we move into 2018.

Writing about bullying is a big part of my life and takes up a lot of my time. Until I get the change I am campaigning for, I will keep up the pressure on those responsible for carrying out these acts of terror and those who also protect the perpetrators. On average, I receive twenty to thirty emails a day from those who are suffering from bullying and always do my best to answer them all. I have managed to publish a few emails on my blog this year, those that deserved a public answer to a very private ordeal, but in the main, I have replied personally, away from any public forum, in keeping with an individuals wishes. Keeping up the pressure on Oxfam in 2017 has been a challenging vocation. Writing to, or messaging this charity, asking for answers has been a difficult undertaking. Those at the top have been unwilling to speak about the charges laid at their door, in most cases refusing to respond at all.

With my efforts being thwarted at every turn, it has been up to those people who work at Oxfam, to stay in contact and keep me up to date, with their inability to deal with the bullies, in their midst. In 2017 I have heard from many of those I used to work with, both regionally at from Head Office, all of whom have offered their support at my continued efforts. Upsettingly I have also heard from many, who have become the latest victim or scapegoat, in Oxfam’s continued negligence and inability to grapple with this real issue of abuse; on its very doorstep.

Luckily I have been helped along the way, by charities specifically set up to deal with the growing problem, of corporate and work place bullying; all of them instrumental in my determination, to keep Oxfam’s failings very much alive, in the minds of those who should be dealing with this mistreatment. 2017 has been about making my voice heard, even louder than before, helping those who have suffered as I did in the past and continuing to write about a subject that remains my area of expertise; because I was a victim; not through any training course or awareness programme, but because I endured the pain, that many still suffer today.

In 2018, I aim to continue my anti bullying campaign; there will be no winding down or let up. Oxfam’s ignorance and dismissive behaviour, only seeks to make my fight, that much more important and crucial. When they finally wake up, admit their deplorable behaviour and remove those responsible for demeaning others and those who turned a blind eye to this humiliating misconduct, I will have done as much as I can and quietly step aside. If you do experience bullying of any kind, make sure you always seek help, remove yourself from the fray, keep your dignity and continue to hold your head high. Bullies want a reaction, no response is the best way to deal with their anti social behaviour. Please feel free to contact me at anytime; I will always do my best to help!

Well this isn't a subject I talk about too often; I don't think anyone should really discuss their accounts in public. Finance is something I have to cover as a blogger however, because like everyone else, it is the biggest part of my life. Without money, none of us would be able to live the lives we do; learning to manage an income, wasn't my strongest attribute, but it is an important undertaking, I have had to get to grips with this year.

Jamie left Spain at the beginning of 2017, leaving me in a very difficult position. At the time I wasn't working and relied heavily on the little amount of money, he paid for board and lodging to survive, without it, I was effectively penniless. With Darrell not due back from Australia until March 2018, I would have to survive for two months with very little. I had about one hundred euro to my name, all I was left with. Jamie hadn't been paying his rent for a while due to circumstances beyond his control, so I had to find weird, wonderful  and inventive ways to survive. Sure enough I managed to get by, God knows how, but it did teach me a great many lessons about life and just how financially vulnerable we all our. Any slight deviation, in yours or my situation, could result in anyone of us losing everything; believe me I came close. If it wasn't for the help and encouragement of others, I wouldn't be here to tell this tale today.

When you have little or nothing left, financially and otherwise, you really do change your whole outlook on life. I remember sitting in my cold house, in the middle of January last year, no lights on, because I couldn't afford too, watching television. The show was discussing how low benefits were in the UK, how difficult it was for people to survive and how little the Government were doing to help, those in greatest need. I don't mind telling you, I got angry; I had no access to money, nothing, zilch and would have happily survived on the amount of benefits these people were complaining about; 'SWAP WITH ME,' I shouted at the TV. I couldn't believe how selfish and greedy they were, when there were others far worse off than them. There were times I didn't eat or leave my bed, because it was so cold, the house was so damp and I had become depressed and apathetic, but I got through it. My two cats, Lily and Precious were the tonic that got me over the worst, without them I would have given up. Having to look after these two, was my saving grace.

Things have changed a lot since those dark times. Darrell has of course returned from Australia, travelling to work in the UK for a short while, to get some income, keeping us going while we were waiting to work in Spain. By the skin of our teeth, we scraped through. Darrell is now working at the airport and I am working at LoungeD. We do finally have enough money to survive on, being able to sit back a little  and enjoy life, rather than constantly worry about the lack of financial security. Don't get me wrong, we could be a lot better off than we are, but getting employment in Spain, isn't an easy undertaking, especially during the winter months. The secret is to work hard in the summer, as I did and put as much away as possible for the difficult times. I have at least managed to do that and we will get by this winter.

We have a lot of catching up to do, to build up our finances for the coming year, after such a roller coaster ride at the beginning of 2017, but with hard work and perseverance we can manage to improve our life dramatically. I am still earning money from writing and blogging, as well as my bar job and of course Darrell is lucky enough to have a full time position, in a job he loves; so things could be a lot worse. I knew life in Spain wouldn't be easy, and have been proven right but I am still here, where others have failed, returning to Britain with their tail between their legs. Today I am content and happy, determined to finally make a life that will allow us both to fulfill our dreams!

I have had a busy year this year, continuing to write as enthusiastically as I did when I first came to Spain. Writing is my passion, it’s what I enjoy doing most and it’s something I dedicate a lot of time to; with good reason, I have an awful lot to say! In 2017 I have managed to concentrate on my fervency far more, than I have done in previous years. The success of my blog ‘Spanish Views,’ has encouraged me to write everyday, as I believe a blogger should do; documenting my life, living in Spain. I have of course updated and added new sections to to this blog, including an interview category, speaking with personalities, who have had an influence on my life; an eclectic bunch, who’s impact, support, guidance and direction, have made me the person I am today. The blog itself has enjoyed sustained success in 2017, with thousands of readers continuing to enjoy my daily entries. I am humbled by everyone who continues to take an interest in ‘Spanish Views,’ the comments I receive, emails and feedback from people in the street. I hope to build on the success of 2017, making 2018 even better; changing, adapting and creating a web page and blog of continued substance and consistency, reaching out for new and informed readers, whilst recognising the important role my current readership perform!

My column ‘Chatter,’ in the Gran Alacant Advertiser is in its sixteenth month of publication, offering a personal perspective on current affairs and Expat life in Spain. I am delighted by the positive response from residents in this part of the Costa Blanca and further afield. My convictions are not always in keeping with those who live and holiday here, but they do spark debate and interest in subjects that are important to all of us; which is what writing is all about; for that I am grateful. I am often approached by people, who want to discuss an article I have written, suggesting material for future columns or just asking me to elaborate on a topic I may have covered recently. This is the aspect of my work, that I enjoy most. In 2017 I have met or been introduced to more people through my writing than ever before and am able to draw on their experiences and advice as well as my own thoughts and impressions. It has also been fantastic to write about other issues in the ‘GA Advertiser,’ in a new section called ‘Local Legends;’ interviewing local people of merit, nominated by those who take an interest in the work the Advertiser does.
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Finally after publishing my first blog ‘Bipolarcoaster,’ in a series of monthly books, currently selling online at Amazon, I am just about finding time to continue writing a book about my life; a project that has been ongoing for a number of years, researching my family tree and writing for a number of publications both here and in the UK. All of this penmanship on top of my work at ‘LoungeD’ in Plaza Mayor and campaigning against bullying in the work place; a packed agenda that makes for a busy life. I don’t stand still these days, but am enjoying the new challenges and opportunities that my life in Spain has given me. Not everything runs smoothly all the time, but that’s what keeps me on my toes; putting pen to paper, just adds to the excitement of daily life, surviving as an Expat in Southern Spain; never a dull moment, always looking forwards, documenting demanding and testing moments and recording my life living in Gran Alacant!

We have had a lot of visitors this year; people who have taken the time to pop on a plane and come and visit us in Spain. I was once told, when you move away to pastures new, you will really find out who your friends are; the ones who stay in contact and the ones you visit from time to time. Myself and Darrell are lucky enough, to have been blessed with having some wonderful characters in our life, people who have been with us through some difficult and challenging times, as well as sharing the important milestones in our life together. As a couple we have been partnered for nearly a quarter of a century and have picked up a few waifs and strays on our way, people we regard as close and have left a lasting impact on our life.
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In June we received a visit from Justin, a friend I have only known for a short time, on the grand scale of things, but someone who has left a lasting impression on me. Our friendship hasn't always run smoothly, we have shared some fantastic times together and suffered a few bad ones also. Since moving to Spain I have discovered that many friends I had in the UK, have grown closer, Justin being one. When we lived in the same city, we did clash terribly, but we also had an enduring bond that made us very similar in many ways. He was a rock to me on various occasions, a bad influence on many more and a delight to have in our Spanish home this year.

We had a wonderful time, during Justin's week long stay, during a period, when myself and Darrell were going through difficult circumstances in Spain. Justin was a breath of fresh air, who helped both Darrell and I forget our woes for just a while, a link to the past that we so firmly want to keep alive and kicking and a personality like no other. 

In the middle of July, always a joy to be around, Gemma arrived, a girl I have known for seventeen years. In the year 2000 myself and Darrell started our own business in the small village of Whiteparish, on the Hampshire, Wiltshire border; Gemma was our first employee. She is one of the funniest people I have ever met, always a pleasure, fun, opinionated and a lass with a big heart, who was always there for me at low points in my life.  Gem is a typical village girl, into country pursuits and  horses, regularly riding her horse up to the garage we used to run in the village, tying her up to the petrol pumps, causing havoc in her wake. She was there for our Wedding and always has a special place in my heart.

We had a great week with Gemma, walking in the Spanish countryside, spending time at the beach or just chatting in the lounge of an evening, watching British television. We hope to see her again very soon!

Kiefer arrived towards the end of July, a young lad myself and Darrell have known for about ten years. We have spent many happy times with him and indeed his brother, who Darrell used to work with in Southampton. I suppose my enduring memory of Kiefer, is him turning up drunk at our home in the city centre, at all hours of the night an early morning, unable to get the ferry back home to Hythe, across Southampton Water!

I saw a very different side of Kiefer when he came to stay, enjoying the week he spent with us. I don't mind admitting, I was surprised he came over, expecting his brother Chris to arrive first, but very pleased he did. It was good to see him, and everyone else for that matter in a different setting, which does tend to bring out a more positive, favourable side in those who visit, especially living in a holiday resort, as we do.

Briefly in August, Corrine payed a visit, on her way home to Southampton, after spending a week in Torrevieja. It was marvelous to see this cat loving, 90s club kid. Corrine is on the same wavelength as me, having lived through the same hell as myself as well as enjoying the gay parties that many of us used to frequent whilst living in Southampton. Southampton's gay scene is rather small and close knit, which can cause its fair share of problems. It also however allows you to meet people like Corrine; forming lasting memories of funny and exhilarating times, spent in each others company, dancing to 'Clubland' classics and reminiscing about the old times; sometimes for days at a time!

Despite only spending a day with Corrine, it was good to see her, laying by the pool chatting about life back in the UK and catching up with the local gossip from back home, which is always a bonus. Corrine understands just how hectic life can get and is aware there is always a place for her to stay, should she decide to come over again. I was glad she was able to see Lily, our cat, just before she died also. Corrine is another mad old cat woman, who spent many happy hours with our cats in the past; they loved her dearly. I know Lily would have enjoyed seeing her, for one last time!

Finally in October we welcomed Nathan and his friend Ash. Nathan was a very close friend for a while in my life, before we fell out, over the washing up, after a particularly heavy weekend. As friends we hit it off immediately; he was like a little annoying son, who just didn't know when to stop, often driving me round the bend, but always a kind and generous individual, who brought out the child in me. We did suffer some truly terrible moments in our life together, but he taught me much about the nature of other people and allowed me to move forwards in life, away from destructive influences. It is good to see Nathan doing so well for himself now, after suffering some awkwardness living on the Southampton gay scene in the past, something I wasn't adverse to myself!

I had an eventful week with Nathan and Ash; getting to know Nathan again after not speaking to each other, for about two years; extremely rewarding for him and I. It really was like starting, where we last left off. I am aware of just how much Nathan enjoyed staying here and I am sure we will see him very soon!