Year In Review - Feliz año nuevo!

This will be my the final ‘year in review’ blog entry, also looking forward to the new year, as we head into 2018, after another challenging twelve months. I began 2017 in negative mood, focusing on returning to the UK, during a particularly bad winter in Spain. The house I was living in was cold and damp, rain water was slowly seeping through doors and windows, I had a severe chest infection and Jamie had left, returning home to the UK. With Darrell still living in Australia, I felt very much alone in the World, ready to call time on my adventures in Spain. I rarely left the house, staying in bed as often as I could, depressed and without hope. If I thought 2015 was bad, 2016 was even worse, I couldn’t see any light at the end of the tunnel, 2017 was going to just be another year of hardship and difficulties and I wanted out. Of course the reality of my situation was such, that returning to Britain was impossible. I had no money at all, certainly not enough to relocate to another country, twice in a year. Deep down I knew I was backed into a corner, again at the mercy of events and circumstances. The one thing I hate, is not being in charge of my own destiny. In January 2017 my mind was in a dark place; I had been here before, but never 1500 miles from home. I had no back up plan and was very much swimming blindly in a sea of contention.

Well of course I am still in Spain and despite wanting to return home, I never did. 2017 has had its ups and downs for both Darrell and myself; we do however remain resolute in our belief, that this place offers us the best chance for new opportunities and a future untainted by the past. Spain was never the easy option we had imagined, the opposite is true. We have struggled at times to keep our head above water and have had to negotiate a system that is unforgiving, unrelenting and merciless. You either survive in Spain or you don’t, there is no middle way. We have learnt to keep very much to ourselves and live a very frugal, self serving and private existence, the one aspect of life we never had in the UK. As a blogger and columnist, my life is an open book, but I am able to distinguish between professional and private when referencing mine and Darrell’s relationship here in Spain. I have made a few close friends in Gran Alacant, but have learnt not to live in and out of each others pockets; after previous experience living in the UK and all the hardships that brought. I am comfortable with my lot now, without the stresses of the past, but still not completely comfortable with my new life. I still have tension from time to time, but it is born out of life experience, not what others leave at ones door.

So 2017 was another roller coaster year, one I have managed to get through relatively unscathed. Darrell and I are both Spanish residents, pay our taxes and have been talking about buying somewhere to live permanently; life is very much rooted in Gran Alacant for now. I hope 2018 will finally be a good year, after all the hard work both of us have put in. like most people I have hopes and dreams and a few options to consider, following very much the same path, I am travelling now. As I become more settled in my new role, I am conscious that I can not take anything for granted. 2015 was littered with mistakes, missed opportunities and dubious characters, never again will I allow a recurrence of the difficulties I endured back then. Today I am very aware of what I have to do, in order to lead a successful life. I judge people everyday; if there is the mere hint of conflict, I will walk away. I have enough baggage, without taking on other peoples. In 2017 I have learned a lot About the character of those around me. I know who to interact with and who to avoid. It may well have taken 46 years, but I am finally able to walk away!

To end this entry, I want to talk a little about home, Southampton. I need to return for a short visit in 2018. The circumstances behind my leaving were extreme, consequently, I wasn’t able to say goodbye to many of those I still hold dear. As I approach my third year in Spain, I am confident enough, to tie up the loose ends, without the fear of not returning to Spain. I miss Britain everyday, but it really isn’t my home any more. A trip down memory lane, is just what the Doctor ordered, to finally lay the ghosts of Southampton past to rest, a final farewell, before I walk quietly into the sunset!

A very Happy New Year to all my friends and family, both here in Spain and abroad in the UK. Don’t be strangers, pop on a plane and come for a visit. In 2017 we were lucky enough to have many familiar faces coming through the door, we want this year to be equally rewarding.

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