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From a new life in spain, to an old life in britain, 'roaming brit' documents uncertain times!

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On 31st January 2016, my partner and I left Southampton to start a new life as Expats in Gran Alacant, on the Costa Blanca. This blog will document our journey, as we navigate the Spanish system, travelling a path untried and untested. With Brexit looming, political turmoil in Europe and an unpredictable future, harsh decisions have to be made. Illness, family bonds and a Change of heart all make for challenging times in a life of a 'Roaming Brit!'
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Tesco's End - Farewell to a faithful old friend!

29/1/2023

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This week, I have finally said a fond farewell to my job at Tesco. After nearly five years, I emailed my letter of resignation on Friday, ending what was probably the most productive period of my life in Britain. This was the hardest decision I had to make, but the reality is, my lifestyle break had come to an end, when I started a full time job here in Australia. The contract dictates the steps I had to take under such circumstances and with a little bit of prompting from my now ex-boss Sammy, I handed in my notice with immediate effect. Sammy was instrumental in ensuring I was able to take such an important career break in the first place; after some deeply painful days in Britain before we left, she was there offering support when I needed it most. Without her, our success now, may well have ended very differently and for that I will always be grateful!

The truth is, I hate goodbyes, and this was one I really didn't want to say. I understand I haven't been working in Fratton for five months now, but by holding on to the possibility, I may return to my job one day, I was somewhat comforted. You may well call it a safety net, or just not wanting to let go, but for me, it was about holding on to the good times and life enhancing memories that I made, everyday I went to work, behind the customer Service Desk. There were no bad shifts, although in reality there probably were, but nothing to speak of, and I always thoroughly enjoyed my time at Tesco; luckily for me, I will always look back at my time with fondness and there aren't many jobs you can say that about.

I don't think I have every really worked somewhere quite like it; the people were the most generous, giving and open bunch I have ever met and all of them felt like the family I needed at that time. Most people spoke of the friendly atmosphere and just how well colleagues got on with one another, but it wasn't until I left in September 2022, at the beginning of my journey to Australia, that I realised just how much I was going to miss the place.

I have to be honest now, and I know some of you won't appreciate it, but there isn't much I am going to miss about Fratton. I never enjoyed living there and would never want to live there again, but the friends I made, the generosity of spirit you see in the people from Tesco and indeed Fratton as a whole, is truly heart-warming. This was a community that treated everyone with respect and dignity, no matter what their background, and the enduring memories I made will stay with me for the rest of my life.

When I look back to my departure and those last few weeks at Tesco, I don't think I have ever felt more loved in my life. These were my family in all but name, they gave me everything I needed - from a shoulder to cry on, advice and direction, or a place to crash if the worst came to the worst. My colleagues, no, my FRIENDS, were there encouraging me, every step of the way, and I will miss them all, especially now everything is so final!

My time at Tesco coincided with some momentous events, not only in my life, but also in the history of the World. I started working there after returning from Spain, while Darrell was in Australia caring for his Mother. When I needed support, the team were there for me. It was never a chore going into work, in fact if you ask anyone who worked there, I was more often than not, early, so I could chat with friends. This was just what I needed, as I tried to build a life temporarily without my husband. This sense of belonging became even more crucial when the pandemic took hold in 2020; all of us bonded in a way that would have been unthinkable before.

Working through the worst public health crisis in a hundred years was often scary, especially during the early days, when none of us knew just how bad things would get. I remember working on the desk, which looked more like a bunker, with fruit and veg crates piled in front, as a barrier between customers and us. There was no PPE or sanitizer initially, and Tesco did everything they could to ensure our safety; these were times of great anxiety and stress, but they were also days of comradeship, laughter and music.

As shops closed, theatres were boarded up, pubs, music venues and places of entertainment shut their doors, Tesco remained open. Things were very different, of course, but we hosted events on those great occasions that would normally see people celebrating in the streets. From VE day to Christmas, we all did our best to make sure customers enjoyed their time; after all, we were the only stores open in this new dystopian World. Supermarkets were crucial as key workers like me made our way to work every day, through deserted, empty streets, to serve customers and hopefully brightening their day.

Today I am lucky to include many customers as friends, born out of the pandemic and the respect we showed for one another. From the Fox Lady, Joanne and her multicoloured hair, and the dear late Mrs Fisher, who I talked with throughout the pandemic, until her death just over a year ago. Together with colleagues, Managers and all those on Front End Support, I had the best four and a half years of my life.

I have shed a tear or two, as I moved across the World, which is only natural. Things will never really be the same again. I am, however, aware of where my future lies, but I am also mindful of where my journey began. The World was just a little bit sweeter at Tesco and I laughed just a little bit more; I hugged so much better (even throughout the pandemic, naughty I know) and I was just a little bit, yes just a little bit happier, in a job I loved more than any other that had gone before.

I leave behind people I love and always will, the memories of a special time in my life, friends like you wouldn't believe and of course my biggest, bestest, loveliest friend of all - Jules, my big Brother, forever, and someone I wish I'd got to know better. Nevertheless, we will always be there for each other, as much as we can, and when the time is right I'll be back in Fratton, sharing the love; picking up from where I left off, the day I closed my locker door, rekindling the nostalgia I will always feel!

Dedicated to Jules, my Brother from another Mother!

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The Dreaded Form 80!

26/1/2023

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January 2023 has been a month filled with paperwork. I don't think I have ever had so much form filling to do in all my life. Not that long ago, I used to think the bureaucracy in Spain was bad, when we moved there in 2018, but Australia beats it by a mile. I have always been mindful of just how difficult it is to move here, which is why I have constantly avoided making the decision to live in Perth full-time. After everything Darrell and I have been through over the years, it just wasn't something we really wanted to go through. However, circumstances change, and it has become a necessary evil; we have had to bite the bullet and do what is necessary.

From Medicare, the tax office, work related documents and now the dreaded 'form 80,' my life is just drowning in paperwork and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight quite yet. This week, my Immigration lawyer contacted me, saying I would need to fill in a form to assess my character. This isn't usual practice with a partner visa application, but because of several minor infringements when I was young, it is something I have to do.

To be honest, I never really imagined I would have to fill in such a form, since the convictions are twenty-five years old and committed as a rash, young twenty-year-old, after a rather intoxicating night out - that will teach me, never to act in such an impulsive manner again. A small altercation in 1997, is enough for the Department of Home Affairs in Australia, to delve deeper into my life. When I say deeper, I literally mean, as deep as it can get; it isn't, no laughing matter.

Providing job and address history since the year of my birth is no mean feat; I am lucky however to have documented my life over many years, and hold much of that information on my laptop. Going through all of that data has proved rather time-consuming, nevertheless. My computer filing system isn't the most logical, and the biggest challenge has been hunting down the important files. Thankfully, I have found the majority of what I need, and was able to submit the form to my lawyer yesterday.

I was always warned how difficult moving to Australia would be, so was aware such difficulties were bound to arise. Despite this, Darrell and I are very committed to this country and being close to his Mother at what is a crucial time. We are also lucky, to have the luxury, of time on our side. Both of us have been together for nearly twenty-seven years now, so proving our relationship together isn't difficult. The events and milestones that make up our time together, annoyingly, aren't always consistent in the same way, as a heterosexual couple, which can prove problematic. As gay men growing up in the eighties and nineties, our life was very much dictated by circumstances beyond our control. A lack of support, no access to help and advice, and the stigma of homosexuality imposed by successive Governments and less than desirable people, has always tried to thwart our relationship at every turn.

We are well-used to having to fight to stay together, forging a way through the red tape and despite the heartache and pain this causes, we have always managed to come back stronger than ever before. I understand how important it is for Australia to check our commitment together and my background as an individual. I personally have nothing to hide and have always been open and transparent with the authorities here. It is always best to be honest, tell the truth and admit your failings in life. A momentary indiscretion twenty-five years ago, may not be a reason to bar me from settling with my husband down under, but lying about it, certainly is.

This week, will end in the same way it began. With our completion date only days away now, it is important to focus on the end goals and not dwell on things I have no control over. I hope things turn out for the best, but I am always a realist at heart; if the worst comes to the worst, we will head back to the UK and restart where we left off. For now, that is a long way off; let's hope my honesty will pay dividends, and we can finally begin to live the rest of our life together.
Happy Australia Day
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On a much lighter note, today is Australia Day, and a national holiday here in Australia. Unlike Darrell, I have had the day off and spent it relaxing, something I don't do very often at the moment. Australia Day is a controversial date; it marks the landing of the First Fleet at Sydney Cove and the raising of the Union Flag by Arthur Phillip in 1788. This is therefore a white settler holiday and, for the aboriginal community, marks the destruction of their way of life and the culture they hold dear. Everyone who celebrates this day, should be conscious of that fact!

I have not celebrated today in the traditional sense, but I have followed events closely on television, purely out of curiosity.  It is important for me to immerse myself in all aspects of Australian culture, and today is just a part of that process!
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Cor Blimey, It's been a Scorcher!

21/1/2023

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Cor Blimey, Governor, it's been a hot one. Today has been the hottest day in Perth, so far this year and considering 2023 has only just started, I bet there are a few more days like this to come. The temperature in Midland reached a top of 43 degrees earlier today; well, that's what it registered on my Fitbit anyway, but luckily I was working in a lovely air-conditioned shop. I'm really not used to these extreme temperatures, coming from the UK, but having lived in Spain I am more used to the heat than most. Surprisingly, however, there is very little humidity here, so you don't really sweat in the same way you would during a humid UK summer.

Today is also the end of the second week in my new job, and I am looking forward to a few days well-earned rest. The last couple of weeks have been particularly stressful because of everything that has been going on. The house sale is progressing well, after Darrell and I had the mortgage confirmed by Commonwealth bank, and we are looking to move very soon; everything is just so fast here. When the Home loan was confirmed, we were given a fifteen-day settlement date, and we should be in our new villa by the middle of February. Thankfully for us, there will be no stamp duty to pay. Under normal circumstances, we would have been liable for a bill of $8000, but because we are first time buyers here, Western Australia has waved that fee.

On Monday we have a surveyor checking the house, and always up for a bargain, I am shopping around for the cheapest settlement solicitor in Perth. So far I have been quoted $1000 less than the original price I was given. Darrell is worrying about letting the other firm down, but I am of the opinion, why should we pay more for the same service? Yes I may be tight, but in all honesty, I have to be. Saving the cents is important for me now, especially with mortgage repayments of $1300 a month.

We decided to take out a variable rate mortgage, in order to pay it off as quickly as possible. We want to repay it within ten years, which is doable, as long as interest rates start to stabilise. Furthermore, we are both lucky to be earning a very good wage, so can afford to double our repayments each month and pay it back in record time. Of course, only time will tell if that actually happens or not. I am confident, that as long as we continue on the same path we are on now, we won't have too much to worry about.

The paperwork trail this week has been astronomical, we just haven't stopped filling in forms. However, most of this has been done remotely and with the help of our amazing mortgage broker at the bank, we have managed to get this done and dusted relatively quickly. Yes, I am stressed and sleeping less, but I am also working and able to concentrate my efforts elsewhere, thus avoiding worrying about moving, every day.

When all is said and done, we have achieved our goals in superfast time. Not only do we both have well paid jobs, but we are also buying a house, new car and looking forward to the rest of our life together. It really has been a long road getting here, but I can finally say, without a shadow of a doubt, we made the right decision. Putting the past behind us is our overriding priority now. Those who have played an important role in our future are welcome with open arms, as for the rest, well, they are just a warning to do better in future. This isn't the first new start we have had, but it is the most successful to date; for that reason it is important to stay focused, and remain positive as this new year progresses. This is the life we have both craved for so long, the success we have dreamed of, and the break we both need; finally contentment it's only a heartbeat away!
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New Year, New Home!

16/1/2023

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This month is turning out to be busy, beyond busy to be more accurate. Not only did I start a new job last week, but Darrell and I have finally found a home; everything seems to be coming together at once. As stressed as I am, I understand just how important it is for me to relax. I came to Australia for a change in pace, not to inadvertently increase my blood pressure (which is perfectly fine at the moment) and have absolutely no time to myself. Nevertheless, I have to accept just how fast the pieces are falling into place and, for once, embrace the possibilities that are coming in thick and fast. To think I used to hate this place and never saw Western Australia as a land of opportunity nor a long term solution to our ambitions and aspirations, when actually, currently, it is!

The house is a three-bedroom villa in a small community of six dwellings, just off Morrison Road in Perth. Interestingly, it was built the same year Darrell and I got together, in 1995 and is a typical Australian home. It has a large kitchen and family room, a laundry and separate toilet and a formal lounge at the front of the property. The house is also air-conditioned throughout and is in relatively good decorative order.

There is a very small courtyard garden at the side of the property, which, although small, suits us perfectly; neither of us want the responsibility of a garden. We don't have the time or desire to be outside gardening, especially in the Australian climate.

Having said that, there is work to do outside; the boundary fence is coming down, and it will need to be replaced or fixed. I also want to repave the outside areas and shade part of the outlook at the back, so we don't have to look directly onto the highway at the rear of the house. Some people would be put off by the proximity to a major road, but for us, city dwellers at heart, it is perfectly fine. We will be a five-minute walk to Midland Gate shopping Centre and a twenty-minute walk to my place of work. The set-up works for us, but it wouldn't be to everyones taste. I like being close to local amenities and although there are aesthetics to sort out, I am happy to get to grips with that in time. After all, if you had seen some of the places I have lived in the past, you'd understand why!

With the offer accepted, now comes the hard bit. We have arrived in Australia without a stick of furniture, so that is now on a priority list. For now, we will get what we desperately require, and the rest can wait. What it does mean, however, is we will have to put a lower deposit down on the villa, so we have some spare cash to buy what we need. Luckily furniture and electrical goods are a lot cheaper here, so I have worked out we will have to pay out $13,000 initially, which is achievable in the short term, especially with us both working. We also need to buy a car, especially now I want to start my driving lessons again, and I personally want a contingency left for maintenance and any eventualities that may occur.

I have also discussed getting a mortgage where I can repay far more than I have to. I want to pay it off in record time. The only way I can do this, is by getting a variable rate home loan, which is a bit scary at the moment, with interest rates continuing to rise in Australia. It is either that or have a fixed rate mortgage, which restricts payments; that isn't something I am contemplating, but will discuss the possibilities with Rob, our wonderful Mortgage Broker at The Commonwealth Bank, over the next few weeks.

All being well, we should be in the house within a maximum of eight weeks; in fact, it could be a lot sooner than that. The current owner, who is in Queensland, has already said we can move in before completion, once the Mortgage has gone through. The whole process here is far more relaxed and laid back, which is actually a bonus for me, especially having started a new job at the same time. The easier this period is, the better.

So Darrell and I have reached yet another milestone in record time, and we are both delighted. On the surface at least, for now, Australia seems to have been the best move we have made. Of course part of me thinks we should have done it years ago, but the other half remembers the memories we made in between, principally in Spain. We can always look back in hindsight and imagine, 'what if?' The important thing today, however, is to move forward with our life and try to build a future, once again, from scratch; luckily that doesn't phase me one bit. Neither of us are young any more, but age aside, this is just another steppingstone on our journey together. Australia will be our home for now, where we hope to make even more happy memories to share with all of you.

A little bit of retail therapy to stay positive this afternoon, as we wait for the final stage of the mortgage. As long as the house is OK, and the bank think it's worth the money, then we are good to go. In the meantime, I've got shopping to do!... Thank God for Kmart; I'll always be a pikey at heart.
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Hyacinth Bucket of Aussie Prospector? You decide!

15/1/2023

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Friday the 13th!

13/1/2023

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New Year, New Job!

10/1/2023

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On the 10th January, I started my new job at a well known Australian soft furnishing company. This wasn't a position I planned for, it was something I fell into, after an informal chat with a retail agency who found me the position. The job itself is extremely well paid, compared to British standards, well above the average wage here in Australia. It is also a Management position, something I haven't done for many years, but I am relishing the challenge and new opportunity to do something I enjoy.

I have been training for a week now, and it seems to be going well, very similar to previous retail management positions I have held in the UK. Of course the first few days are particularly mind-boggling, as you take in a vast amount of information, but I am sure in time, everything will just fall into place. At the moment I am just bedding myself in and learning my new role; next week I will be in my own shop, running it for real.

If I am honest, it is daunting looking at the sheer volume of work I will have to undertake, but I have to keep telling myself this is my first week. Dealing with one thing at a time is important in Management, so you don't overburden yourself with too many tasks at once. Planning one's day effectively, is the best way to achieve results, and it will take me a while to understand the procedures and policies I will have to follow. I have to keep reminding myself that, I haven't just accepted a new appointment, but I am also working in a new country, whose culture and working practices are very different to the UK.

I am working with some truly amazing individuals, who have been coaching me in all aspects of the business and training me to become a successful Manager. Furthermore, I feel honoured to have been given a chance to not only build a new career, but also the opportunity to run a business in a way that allows me to put my individual stamp on its future. This is not a small store, this is a large shop, in a busy part of Midland; yes it is scary, but I am also relishing this new adventure.

As I continue to integrate into Australian life, I am lucky to have been given chances, I wouldn't otherwise have had in the UK. At 51 years of age, I do consider myself fortunate to be able to retrain and continue my working life abroad; not many people have the ability to do that, especially at my age. So far, things are going remarkably well, but I am just waiting for the first thing to go wrong. Yes, you may call me a pessimist, but my life is littered with difficulties and hardships, ever since I can remember. That kind of makes you feel negative at times. Maybe that feeling is brought about by my time in Britain, or maybe it is just part of my psyche. For now, I am doing my best to steer around feelings of frustration and fear and remain upbeat and positive.

I don't see myself as a failure, far from it, but I have suffered more misfortune than most. To have been given this new blank page, to rewrite history, is the best thing that could have happened for my sense of purpose and wellbeing. I haven't been this happy in a long time; as the days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months, I hope to build on what I have achieved so far, and create a new life in Australia. With a new sense of purpose and direction, determined to succeed, I hope to forge an unchartered career down under, well away from one of the most difficult periods in my life.
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Last Weekend of Freedom!

8/1/2023

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Good Morning from The Belgian Beer Cafe!

7/1/2023

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Settling into Expat life, in Gran Alacant!

5/1/2023

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Walking down Heart Attack Hill!
We had a house full of furniture and two cats to bring from the UK, to our new home in Gran Alacant.  The easiest option for us, was for Jamie and me to fly from Southampton Airport and for Darrell and close friend Dale to drive from Britain, down through France, into Spain and onto the Costa Blanca; two days in a van with me, Darrell and the cats, was likely to end in bloodshed otherwise.

This was a journey that took Dale and Darrell several days to complete. In France, halfway through the journey, they stopped at a cat friendly hotel and rested as long as they could, before completing the journey. When they arrived, it was a frantic few days of unpacking, before Darrell dropped off the van in Alicante, and we could finally start to live our lives, far away from the troubles of the past.

Sitting in the tiny lounge, surrounded by boxes, slightly shivering on a cold February day, I remember how happy I was to finally be away from Britain. Our last few months there were not the best, and Spain was just the new start all of us needed. None of us knew the area at all, so once Dale had left for the UK, the three of us began to explore our new home of Gran Alacant.

The 'Rehab,' or 'Recovery train,' (recovering from life in The UK) was our first venture into this quiet urbanisation. This miniature train, on wheels, would circumnavigate Gran Alacant several times a day, and we could hop on and off as and when we liked. After a particularly wobbly walk down Heart Attack Hill, to Molly Malone's Irish Pub, the first pub we visited in GA and one of our favourite haunts, We caught the train, just outside the bar and travelled the short distance to the Centro Commercial. This modern town had everything you could need, including several supermarkets, Mercadona and Lidl, the obligatory tobacconist, where I would by my Mojito flavoured cigarettes at 4.35€ a packet, half the price they were in the UK, and of course plenty of bars and restaurants.

Barloko, as it was named then, was situated at the top of the main shopping centre and during our first few weeks we went there several times. We hadn't yet found our own neighbourhood local, Sierra Mar, which was actually hidden away in a small gated community, down the bottom of a rather steep incline, a few minutes from our house in Calle Canarias.

At Barloko, or Roger's bar as we liked to call it, we met many of the locals at this popular venue and of course the amazing Roger himself, who was always a friendly face, even when things weren't going our way. He would often sit and chat with us, explain a bit about Gran Alacant and help us find our way around. Roger is one of those characters you just can't forget, and it was always lovely to see him.

We also spent a lot of time in Alicante itself, just a forty-five-minute bus journey away. This cultured city, full to bursting with architectural wonders, a beautiful castle and our favourite part, the marina, was just what we needed to get over the UK. It was a World away from the drudgery of Britain and even in winter, we could sit in our preferred venue of choice, 'Soho Mar,' just passing the time of day, forgetting our worries and feeling every bit like we were on holiday.

Of course, we weren't on vacation, we were there to start a new life in the sun and by the beginning of March, it was time to start building a future, and looking for work in Gran Alacant.

Out of the three of us, I was the first person to find a job in GA, at 'The Easy Horse Care' Charity shop in Plaza Mayor, at the bottom of Heart Attack Hill, a fifteen-minute walk from Carabassi. I worked several days a week and was paid a small wage to keep me going while I looked for something more permanent. The charity did what it said on the tin, rescuing horses and donkeys in the local area; this magnificent shop, consisting of furniture on one level and clothing above, was my first real foray into the neighbourhood of Gran Alacant. At first, I was a bit dubious about taking on the position, after my bad experience working for a charity in the UK, but my reluctance soon passed, as I made friends, worked hard and began to integrate into a community that welcomed me with open arms.

The Charity shop opened my eyes to the well established Expat community, and it wasn't long before I began to venture out more and more. Sierra Mar, was a short walk from my house on the hill, so I wandered down to this friendly square whenever I had the chance. It wasn't long before 'Zest,' a newly opened bar, became my second home. Lee and Brett were the perfect hosts and always welcoming, as were Steve and Paul behind the bar. Along with Aunty Pam, who cooked the best comfort food and was always free for a hug or two, they soon became akin to family in Spain; these were familiar faces in an unfamiliar World. When confronted with a new beginning, it is important to find your niche, somewhere to feel relaxed and at home and for me at least, Zest was it.

It wasn't long before I got to know the locals and when Darrell was called away to Australia, a few months after we arrived, these were the people that got me through. Darrell's Mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2016, and although we didn't know it then, our time would be cut short in Spain because of her illness. With Darrell travelling back and forth to Perth, I made the best of a bad situation. Settling into life in Gran Alacant was the most important factor, in me staying there for as long as I did. Had it not been for my Mother in law's illness, in all probability we would still be there now.

Of course, part of settling into a new neighbourhood is establishing lasting friendships. Luckily I met long term friends Andy and Katie, who lived just around the corner from me and then there was Paul and Michelle, who were instrumental in making me feel a part of their lives, especially when Darrell wasn't there. It is true to say I went into myself a lot more and became very withdrawn at times, but when you see your dream ebbing away, it is all you can do to cope with the changing landscape.

Gran Alacant was an easy place to settle down, it had everything I ever wanted and more - people I cared about, a community of like-minded individuals, helpful friends and local residents, and the perfect location on the Costa Blanca that worked for us. It wasn't in the throng of Benidorm, it offered a more relaxed place to live, but with a busy social scene that came into its own, especially at night, making you feel you were actually somewhere bigger. With so many nationalities living in one place, it was the best choice for us, and I am so glad we lived there, even if it was for only a few years. The memories I made, and the friends I still have today, are a tribute to the place I was honoured to call home, and a fitting homage to the Expat community who looked out for me, in a way nobody had done before!
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    51-year-old Author and professional blogger. Expat formerly living in Gran Alacant on the Costa Blanca! Currently, residing in my adopted home of Perth, Western Australia.

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