2018 Year In Review - Family!

2018 has been a challenging year for me in many respects. There is much about this year that I would love to forget and move to the sidelines, but there is one aspect, that has been positive and worth all the difficulties I faced, that is of course 'family.' Reconnecting with people I haven't seen in years and establishing myself firmly back in the fold, has been a lifeline and a truly important part of 2018. Up until just a few short months ago, I had, little or no contact with relatives, but that all changed in April, when my Cousins Chris and Maria arrived in Spain for a visit.

Darrell and I spend a wonderful few days getting to my Cousin again, after so many years without contact. We had started talking through the wonders of facebook after finally biting the bullet and rekindling a relationship that frittered away thirty years ago, when I was in my teens embarking on a new life at University. As children we were never really close, but that all changed this year, messaging each other regularly and on my return to Britain, meeting up when we can. My new bond with Chris was a catalyst for contacting other members of my maternal family and today, five months after returning home, I have seen most of those I had lost contact with. Life does take us down many different paths, but as I have discovered, it is important, not to forget our roots. The people who were important in my life as a youngster, are once again prominent, paramount for me today as I approach my fifties!

When I arrived in the UK in May of this year, I moved in with my Aunt in Portsmouth, a place I have never actually lived, despite being born here in 1971. Forming new relationships with my paternal family  has been the most satisfying characteristic of my time spent in Britain so far. At the beginning of 2018, there was no family in my life, today I have more contact with relatives than I could ever dream of. Aunts, Uncles and many, many cousins all in my life on a daily basis. I have always had a connection with my Aunt, we are very similar in our outlook and also our past indiscretions, so it has been an important part of my pilgrimage, living with her. I am not sure that if I had stayed with someone else, I would have remained in the UK for as long as I have now. I do feel at home here and am enjoying  getting to know those close once again. My Aunt and I were brought together at an important juncture in both our lives, me leaving Spain and her splitting with her partner. We have both helped one another get over our different losses and have formed an enduring bond in the process.

Most importantly I have rekindled my propinquity with Mum and Dad, after becoming estranged from them many years ago. Illness and old age has determined that I stay here and be with them both, at a challenging time for all of us. Mum has been in and out of Hospital almost on a weekly basis and I have done my best to be with her and Dad when I can. As a family we have come together to discuss the future, preparing for the inevitable hurdles down the line. Equally I have seen my brother for the first time in many years and although strained at first I am looking forwards to re-establishing a link with him and his family. We will probably never be close as siblings, but we can at least begin the process of talking, listening and acting on instincts to come together for the sake of our parents. My future is for now firmly entrenched in Portsmouth and I want it to be a happy and rewarding experience; family bonds are a priority, as they probably should have been many years ago.

Finally with my partner living in Australia, caring for his ailing Mother, I am sad that we can not be together. Darrell is my family and this current journey I am travelling is all the more difficult without him. In time we will be reunited and I am sure we will make the right choices for both our futures. Having him here, living with my family is a possibility, equally me moving to Australia being close to his, is also on the cards. For now all bets are off and we are both just doing the right thing for our respective Mothers, as 2018 turns to 2019, both of us will eventually understand where our destiny lies and we can firmly make the decisions needed in order for our life to continue united again!

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