2018 Year In Review - Looking Forwards!

After a year of turmoil and upheaval, I am hoping that 2019 will bring some relief from the pressures of life. 2018 is another one of those periods I would rather forget. Illness, moving back home from Spain, homelessness and separation from ones partner, have all contributed towards a difficult and arduous time. It is doubtful this is the end of my troubles and 2019 is starting off in much the same way as it did 2018. At the moment there is no end in sight to the difficulties I continue to face, as a partner and a son and I am realistic about the weeks ahead; that doesn't mean however I am writing off yet another twelve months of my life, I continue to work towards peace and harmony for my family and I!

2019 will be a defining year for both mine and Darrell's family. The prognosis for my Mother-In-Law isn't great and Darrell will remain with her for as long as necessary. Although Darrell and I are not living together currently, we hope to end the year reunited as a couple, depending on how long his Mother keeps battling cancer. My Mum has also been ill, but is now home from hospital and has all the equipment necessary to live as normal a life as she can. To be honest, that is the wrong choice of words, her life will never be normal. She is bed bound and relies on my Father and carers for support, but the outlook for the year ahead is far brighter than it was.

I have also been in contact with other members of my extended family, people I have never seen, but through the wonders of DNA and family tree research, have been able to trace and hope to meet my second cousin and his family this coming year. Equally a trip to Liverpool to see my Irish descendants is also on the cards. My Aunty Mary is now in her nineties and I want to see her and other members of my clan, before they get too old to remember who I am.

Living with my Aunt Trisha has also been a fantastic experience and I look forward to another family focused year. Before I left for Spain in 2015, I had little or no contact with my kinfolk, today I have more family than I ever knew I had and am relishing spending time with all of them. 2019 is bound to be another challenging year, but I am now lucky enough to be around those who can support both Darrell and I, through the next phase of our journey together. Family is the most important aspect of my life, a chapter that was missing for too long.

2019 is bound to be another busy year. I am working harder now than I ever have in the past, trying to save enough money for mine and Darrell's future together. Coming home from Spain was the best decision I ever made. The working situation here is far better than that on the Costa Blanca and I am able to save a substantial amount of my income. I hope to remain working for all the organisations I play a part in today. I want to keep the current momentum going and focus on a positive, industrious future, which gives me choices and options about where to go in life. I suppose at the age of 48, I am finally beginning to grow up and see the benefits of a hard working lifestyle. I partied for too long, spent too much money and only lived for each day; I never saw the bigger picture and just what my life could have been, if I had done more to help myself!

In May I am flying to China, spending three weeks away from the UK with my Aunt and Darrell, who I will meet in Beijing, Darrell will be travelling on the last leg of our journey, as we spend a week in the Chinese capital and take a ride on the Chinese Bullet train to Shanghai. I am looking forward to spending time with my partner, after six months away from each other. Two months afterwards, Darrell will also fly to the UK to spend time with my family here, this is of course dependent on his Mother continuing the good progress she is making. Her current condition is such, that she could deteriorate at any time, something that will always be in the back of our minds.

So despite the difficulties ahead this year, I am hopeful 2019 will be the beginning of a new and exciting chapter, where we can finally breath a sigh of relief and get ahead in life. I do seem to have been stuck in a rut, going nowhere fast for a while now, especially after the dreadful years following my departure from Oxfam in 2015. Having put that period firmly behind us, both Darrell and I can look towards better times, despite the predicament we both find our families in. 2019 will be about family first and foremost, but also about building a new life, away from the injustices of the past and without the constrains that kept us grounded and at the mercy of others for far too long. This year is there for the taking, so long as we avoid making the same mistakes again; this year is our year, the year we finally reunite as one!

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