Difficult Days Down Under!

Things are most definitely not going to plan at the moment and if I am honest I have considered getting up and leaving. This has always been a tough country in which to succeed, but currently it is extremely exhausting. These first few weeks in Perth are a hundred times harder than the beginning of our new life in Spain, and I am feeling pretty fed up. I think both of us would agree, that we wouldn't have come here if we had known just how bad things were, and I am a little bit put out that Darrell didn't do his homework properly before we flew across the World. Having said that, I think we are both just glad to be away from the UK; the last few months there were particularly soul-destroying and with Britain the way it is, we are probably better off in Australia.

Neither of us have regrets about leaving Portsmouth, as it was something we were going to do in any case, but had we known just how difficult it is in Western Australia, we wouldn't have made the move when we did. Nevertheless, we are where we are, my application to remain in this country is in, and we aim to make this place home, at least until one of us throws our dollies out the pram and decided otherwise.

We aren't getting enough time together; the cramped conditions we are living in, is contributing to our current state of mind. Both of us are feeling negative, although I would call it realistic, and living each day as it comes. We have been told by lots of people that things will change, and we just need to ride out the stormy waters and keep ploughing our energy into long term future goals. As I said to Darrell today, the time for running away is over, it is now important to stay put and fight hard. This was the last international move I intend to make, so we just have to bloody well get on with it for a change.

We did get a break from all the paperwork and uncertainty last week, going with Darrell's Cousin Tash and her boyfriend on an afternoon of Dirt Biking. It isn't something I would have usually considered watching in the past, not being a fan of motorbikes in any sense, but I did thoroughly enjoy myself. If anything, it was a break from the drudgery of officialdom, and it allowed me to take my mind off pressing matters.

Tash and her partner are an absolute joy. She is honest, up front and says things how they are; just the sort of person I love to be around. Her boyfriend is equally frank and direct; as a Kiwi from New Zealand, I was wondering if it has anything to do with his nationality. A friend told me several years ago about their friend from New Zealand, and how truthful and plain-speaking he was. To be honest, that could also be said for Australians too, who I seem to be getting on better with this time, compared to 1995 and 1997; Only time will tell how that pans out.

While Tash and her boyfriend did their thing on their bikes, Darrell drove their distinctly large four-wheel drive, Australian Ute, behind them. The terrain in Gnangara Pines was pretty treacherous, with the ground full of potholes. But this was the only time, since arriving at Darrell's Mothers, that we have actually had time to ourselves exclusively, so despite the bumpy ride, it was welcome. It does rattle me somewhat, that we have to resort to this kind of outing, in order to have a conversation, but that is just part of the course presently; we literally have to take anything we can get, just to have a chat.

After a few hours biking, Tash drove us around Perth, along the beautiful beaches and into Fremantle for a hot dog and finally home. It was a shame that the weather was so bad on Sunday, the rainiest day since we have been here, but everyone except me seemed to enjoy it. My guess is they don't get it that often, and it is clearly preferable biking in the rain than in hot dusty conditions. It didn't detract from the lovely day, however, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

The whole point of a personal blog is to record feelings and emotions, which at the moment, is more important for me than ever. I do have good and bad days, more bad than good currently, but I am busy keeping myself occupied. I am still collating information for my bridging visa in December, and intend to lodge it just before Christmas. You may well think, why the hell are you doing that, when you are feeling the way you are? Well whatever I am wrestling with deep down, what ever happened in the past and whatever disagreements and arguments I have had, there is only one thing I am focused on, and that is finally being happy with Darrell, and that has to include Australia. I am the one holding Darrell back from making yet more knee-jerk reactions, and I am the one who is determined to see this through to the bitter end; I just hope the outcome is worth it!

No, I haven't hit the bottle yet, but I may well do in the future at this rate. We were lucky enough to spend another day in Perth, not at The Shoe, as usual, but this Friday, at The Belgian Beer Café, on Murray Street.

The food was great, and it was wonderful to have a few pints of Stella again. Despite the difficulties ahead, we are at least making time to chill out, even if it is with a bar full of people!