Gay Grandma, Kirsty and Imogen!

On Thursday I met an old friend, someone I haven’t seen since 2015 and someone who played an important part in mine and Darrell’s life – Kirsty, a young lady with a heart of gold and a person who was always there for me, when times got rough, as they often did. I have very little time to see anyone these days, so for me it was fantastic meeting with Kirsty after so long. Since returning to the UK, I have started a process of reconnecting with many of those I was closest to and relaying the foundations of friendship, in a way I never did before.

In 2015, Kirsty gave birth to a lovely baby girl, after what I can only describe as a traumatic, upsetting and stressful time. We can’t choose who we ultimately fall in love with and Kirsty just got involved with the wrong guy. On the positive side she was now the Mother to Imogen, who became integral to all our lives.

For the next five months we all became close, spending as much time together as we could, before Darrell and I left for our new life in Spain in January 2016. Kirsty called us gay Grandma and Grandad and her and Imogen often stayed over at our home in Southampton, as we packed up our lives and sold our possessions before our date of departure. Imogen was the first child in my life; I had never been around children before, even though I was an Uncle. Family issues and a break down in communication had prevented me from fulfilling a role that in reality I would have cherished.

During Imogen’s first few weeks, I was reluctant to hold her at all, as I still am with any child. My lack of experience was always a barrier to bonding with any baby, let alone one so young and fragile, so I looked in from the outside, as others played their part. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t feel left out, I just didn’t want the responsibility of cradling a new born. In time that changed and I soon became able to hold imogen, eventually becoming very attached to this little girl, sadly just in time for us to move abroad.

Seeing ‘not so little’ imogen on Thursday, I was amazed by how grown up she was. Unbelieveably, she is only four years old, but extremely intelligent and able to hold an almost adult conversation. As a Mum, Kirsty has done an amazing job bringing her up on her own. She is polite, respectful and clearly loves her Mum with all her heart. It was wonderful to see these two, so close and happy together, especially after the difficulties of the past.

All of us spent a perfect day together, beginning with lunch at the Ship Anson, along the coast near Portsmouth’s Historic Dockyard. With a bottle of Australian Chardonnay, we chatted about the past and looked forward to the future. Kirsty has grown as a person in all respects, her life although not the easiest, shows just how far she has come and as we ate our pub lunch I was aware of just how much I had changed to, becoming a much better person than I once was and far happier now than ever.

Imogen gripped hold of mine and her Mothers hand tightly, as we left the pub, walking the short distance to the sea front, funfair and beach. Kirsty and Imogen went on the Waltzer, while I happily stood to one side taking photographs. I was never a fan of this ride and like me, when I first went on this dreaded whirligig, Kirsty was a little sick, running to the toilets to get changed and try and regain a little composure...There is a reason I don’t do fairgrounds as a rule!

Finally we took a short walk along the stony beach, watching the Hovercraft fly in from the Isle of Wight, collecting stones and breathing in the sea air, followed by a few hours in the arcades playing on the coin pushers, just like I used to, with my family forty or so years ago. I felt like I had travelled back in time, for a short period and enjoyed dipping into my childhood, even if it was brief. Suitably tired we left, walking along the city castle walls in time to catch the train back home!

It wont be too long before I see Kirsty and Imogen again; I hope they will remain as close as they can from now onwards. It is true we all lead busy lives, but as we all get older it is important to cherish the friendships we have and make time for each other. All of us have changed during the intervening years, whilst Darrell and I were living in Spain, but it was great to pick up from where we left off and begin our journey once again!

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