Wolf In Sheep's Clothing!

          Jess Hayes

Today I wanted to talk about a person, who was in part responsible for our decision to move to Spain. For the purpose of this entry, I have called her Jess Hayes; this is not her real name, although it sounds very similar. Jess was the Head of Human Resources at Oxfam; a person who had dedicated her life to working in HR. I had known Jess for a while; seen her on various trips to Head Office, as well as several Area Meetings. In truth, I actually enjoyed her company, finding her very approachable and personable. I never had a reason to doubt her; that was a mistake; part of my naivety, in determining who she really was.

Jess was a rather short, dowdy, unassuming character; she reminded me of everyone’s favourite Aunt; someone you could talk too, confide in and know she would always say the right thing. Over the few years I had known her, before leaving for Spain, I had built up a lot of trust in her. Jess was always on hand to offer support at difficult times and knew just what to say to make one feel at ease. As an HR expert, Jess had her own website, where she openly talked about issues, that affected her, in her everyday life. At times the site was funny, others concerning, but always enlightening. I remember reading some entry or another and thinking to myself, this lady has to go through a lot, put up with such stress and make some very difficult decisions. I suppose, I admired Jess to an extent. She was doing a job, I would have liked to do and on the surface at least, she was doing it well.

The first time I really got to know her, was when she came down to our region, to give a ‘safeguarding’ meeting. This was no ordinary meeting, it was controversial in every respect. Oxfam workers in Africa were demanding money and sex for food! Young women, vulnerable, without resources to support themselves, were being forced by Oxfam employees, to have sex with them, in return for food aid, which was meant to reach all those who were in desperate need. These employees were making life and death decisions, because Oxfam had made the fatal mistake, of giving the employees complete autonomy. This was a decision they had also made in their Management structure, both at Oxfam House (Head office in the UK) and in the regions, which accounted for the rise of sociopathic managers, who’s only concern was for themselves.

The safeguarding meeting was a complete disaster. I had gone through similar meetings in the past, having worked with ‘Action For Children.’ This professional charity had spoken about sensitive subjects, with the utmost respect and had been accorded the same in return. Jess looked uncomfortable, hosting a meeting, where Oxfam were introducing measures to protect those most vulnerable in society. Great you might think, but Oxfam employees were being asked to forgo their human rights, in law, because of mistakes made by an out of touch management, in Oxfam, or lose their jobs. Some of us questioned Oxfam’s ethics in this matter, most just sat, mouths closed saying nothing, like sheep to the slaughter. Things went from bad to worse that day, as I witnessed the abuse dispensed to other members of staff, who didn’t conform to Oxfam’s new ethical guideline. At one stage a colleague burst into tears, for being attacked, for daring to speak up against certain issues raised in the meeting; nothing was done to protect her. This is when I finally began to see Jess for who she really was; a rather dubious, shadowy character, who had no concern for anyone, other than the charity she represented.

The year before we moved to Spain, Jess became very prominent in my life. As myself and my partner began to realise what we had been subjected to, through homophobia, harassment and bullying, we of course turned to Jess for help. She had been our regional HR Advisor in the past, and was a natural person to ask for advice, when any of us needed help. As our complaints against Oxfam grew, other Managers got on board and the nature of the bullying involved, took a sinister turn; Jess was nowhere to be seen. She was unwilling to communicate with us officially at all, preferring all her conversations to be ‘off the record.’ As I know now, there is no such thing as an ‘off the record’ conversation, where HR is concerned, that is a fallacy!

I had many telephone conversations with Jess during this time, on every occasion she would utter the same words, ‘you know you can trust me, our conversation, will go no further.’ what absolute baloney. After speaking to this woman, in an open and honest way. Our ‘little chats’ had become a topic of amusement, among the staff in the region we worked for, used once again to bully, not only us, but others mentioned. Some of the information spoken about was personal and sensitive and could have resulted in catastrophic consequences, had we not been taken out of the work environment. Of course, others at the time were trying to reassure and redirect us away from the truth. We continued to think we were just imagining the worst, for many months, until I finally took independent advice.

By the time I had sought advocacy, the situation we had both found ourselves in, had gone on for a significant number of months. Jess had stopped all forms of contact by the end and myself and others were losing patients. Complaints and accusations were being made about a Manager, who was unfit to practice in her position, yet she was still left in situ, by Jess and her department. Frustration and upset was rife, as nearly all of my colleagues experienced some form of unacceptable behaviour. Those who were not being victimised, understood very well what was going on, but didn’t not want to be in the firing line themselves, preferring to stay aloof from the fray.

Jess Hayes failings as an HR leader became evident as time passed by. Sitting in on meetings of a delicate nature, watching, standing by as staff were belittled and attacked by senior Managers, unable or unwilling to stop any altercation that transpired. She had lost her voice, been neutralised, just a figure of fun and ridiculed by people who should have been removed from their posts long ago. Her job, as Head of HR, the wage it paid was the only thing that was important to her. She was unwilling to stand up for the rights of individuals for fear of being removed from her position. These were her failures of strength and inability to do the job for which she was being paid very handsomely; so I thought!

So why am I recalling these events today, as I have done, so many times before? Yesterday I received an email from a person, who used to work in Human Resources; not at Oxfam, but in the private sector. The failings of Oxfam play a large role in my blogging topics; I often get emails and messages from others, with similar experiences as mine, but not usually from those at the other end of the argument; which is why I was so surprised to hear from an HR representative.

The email was from Anne, not Head of HR, but an advisor. She has been following my blogs for a while now. After reading my references to reviews on the website ‘glassdoor’ together with my accounts of darker times at Oxfam, she thought she was in a position to offer me some advice personally. Now I am always ready to listen to people in the know, mainly because I want to ensure, what I believe to be true is, so I sat down with a mug of tea and read her words.

At first I was sceptical, thinking someone had been put up to writing this, always cautious when receiving such emails in an anonymous fashion, but as I read, I started to understand, just what had happened at Oxfam; my eyes began to open, to the possibility, that Jess Hayes wasn’t as guilty as I had made her out to be. Let me try and explain, without getting bogged down in detail, I am sure Anne will email me again, if I am completely off track.

Jess Hayes was simply doing her job. It isn’t common knowledge, but Human Resources are not their to protect employees, far from it, they are their to protect their employer, even if that means protecting those, in positions of power, who are causing harm to others, below them. Jess Hayes was well aware of the damage that my boss and others were causing, but were simply unable to take a persons word for it; they needed evidence, in order to dismiss someone in such a position of authority. Here’s where it gets interesting. I was assuming, Anne was talking about my boss, when actually she was talking about others, a lot higher up the charity tree than her. These were the real problems, the Psychopaths, Sociopaths and deviants, my boss had simply learned from the best and had become just like them, only on a smaller scale. The job of Jess was to continue to protect Oxfam, until she was offered enough evidence to prosecute the perpetrators, without the prospect of failure. I can most certainly see that now!

Anne went on to say that no conversation between HR and an employee is private and confidential, especially when they are trying to remove employees from their positions. Sometimes HR has to do things, they would rather not. Mentioning personal information to others is wrong, deeply troubling and as a rule, a no no. However when you are trying to entrap someone, into making the wrong move, offering yet more evidence against them, sometimes even they have to do the unthinkable. I can understand why they acted as they did now, but will never accept it to be the right thing to do.

Anne concluded, that myself and others were just pawns in a game. We jumped through the hoops necessary, to cause at least some damage, to those at the top; more details to include in an ever growing file, that will one day be used, to finally dismiss and prosecute all those involved. Importantly, when Jess spoke and wrote off the record, she was using this information for future reference, it was not forgotten or passed by. In order not to muddy the water too much, some information is discounted, because it will only cause more harm in an HR investigation.

Serious mistakes were made at Oxfam, in the past, when dealing with inappropriate behaviour, within the Management structure. In many cases some terrible circumstances were ignored. Fifteen years later, these heinous individuals, still remain in place, having learned how to navigate a system to their advantage; consecutive HR Managers, ignoring indiscretions, creating an air of safety for those responsible, as they have became entrenched in a charity, who quite simply, didn’t know how to deal with them. The longer this situation has gone on, the more others have become involved and the more cover ups there has been, the harder it has become to remove people without the fear of repercussions for the charity.

Anne finally explained, that one day, probably not soon, those who tried to harm us, will be brought to justice. It will take many reviews and restructuring to ‘catch the crooks’ as she put it, but they will be caught. She believed we did the right thing, moving away, but we will have to return one day to give evidence. Anne has encouraged me to keep writing. The more I write and expose, the more evidence Oxfam will collect, because make no mistake, Oxfam do read this blog and understand the damage that was caused and continues to be caused, to many of its employees.

Today as I write this post, I do have a little more sympathy for the Head of HR at Oxfam House, Jess Hayes. She has crossed the line many times and remains a great source of anger for me, even now, but maybe, just maybe, she was doing her job and what she did to me, wasn’t personal, just a means to an end. Morally, to use people, as she did, is wrong, if the end result is the removal of some very flawed personalities and characters, how can I possibly complain. The moral of all this is, when you notice some particularly disturbing personality traits in others, deal with them at the beginning, before it’s too late! That is a lesson for all of us to learn, in life and work. Know who you are speaking to, before you spill the beans!


HELP OTHERS, GET INVOLVED!


As someone who has suffered at the hands of a sociopath, I am able to give a little advice on the subject, from my point of view. As a victim, you spend a life time dealing with the consequences; not something I would ever wish on anyone.

I would like to hear from others about their experiences of bullying; from both sides of the argument. Maybe you are a sociopath and would like to explain to my readers, what makes you, who you are, what makes you tick or give advice to those suffering at the hands of bullies. The best people to give advice are often those who have bullied in the past.

If you are an Oxfam employee or volunteer, past or present and want to anonymously send me, details of your experiences, once again from both sides of the argument, please feel free. Your words can help others, deal with traumatic times; all your emails will be treated in the strictest confidence.

Would you like to write for ‘Spanish Views!’ We are looking for guest bloggers to write about subjects close to my readers hearts. Expats living in Spain, able to offer advice to others navigating the Spanish system; Thinking of moving to a foreign country, because of traumatic times or simply a resident of Gran Alacant, who would like to share stories about living on the Costa Blanca; we would love to hear from you, offering a platform to share your thoughts, opinions and ideas!

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