Steps To Wellbeing!

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So you have had enough, you want to take back control of your life and move on from a difficult past.  Reaching the end of a rocky road can be more traumatic than the rocky road itself.  After dealing with terrible times, the ending, usually forced upon one, although a relief, can also be full of dangers and pit falls.  When I reached the end of my path in January, whilst moving to Spain, the dangers, that could have sent me spiraling back into depression and unhappiness were all there.  The difficult thing, during my last few weeks in The UK, was living around those who had caused great harm to me. whether at work or in my every day life.  These people, the ones who were instrumental in perpetuating lies and untruths, were still skulking in the corners, continually spouting the same old rubbish.  Of course at the time, I had finally realised who and what they were, but had to live with them, in order to leave for Spain cleanly, without any more harassment from them.

My 'Steps to Wellbeing' began, when I arrived at the airport, to fly to Spain.  It was a cold January morning, and I remember standing outside, smoking a cigarette, waiting for Jamie, when all of a sudden I looked around, thinking, this was it, this was the final day, this was the first day of the rest of my life.  The realisation, that I was moving to Spain, came quickly, but it didn't actually sink in until that fateful day.  That is when I began to change, that is when life started to look upwards and the cretins from the past instantly faded away, back into the holes they crawled from.

The first couple of months living here were busy.  For me, measuring my wellbeing was about changing every aspect of my life, in all respects.  I was determined to wipe away any reference to the dreadful circumstances of the past.  This new phase was about change, for changes sake. I just wanted to obliterate all references to the past, so doing something different, whatever that was, was important.  Not only was change crucial, but doing it oneself on ones own terms was the critical to the success we now enjoy.  I hadn't done anything for myself in a long time.  I was either too ill or preoccupied with pressing matters, so to take charge of ones life, once again was literally the one thing I HAD to do.  Standing tall after what transpired was something to do , sooner rather than later.

I am in a positive place now, as a result of what I achieved at the very beginning. Without attaining self worth, nothing would have been possible. A firm and strong belief in oneself is essential, in order to move forward and not look back.  The fact that I can now write about a past controlled by other people, is testimony to my change in circumstances and the support I have had from my partner, Jamie, Natalee and everyone of my new and numerous friends.  Those closest are fully aware of what happened to me.  Many have had similar experiences and everyone, without exception have accepted me into the place, I call home.

Acceptance is the biggest step to wellbeing.  Accepting what had happened, as real and not a smoke screen.  Self doubt and denial, although, there and always in the back of ones mind, was a challenge to overcome.  I had to believe in my own intuition, friends advice as well as professional and legal representation.  All of whom were clear about just what or rather who had  control over me for many years.  Talking to others with similar experiences was important.  You truly become aware, that you are not alone.  This recognition, whilst shocking, is also very liberating.

From day one at arrivals, in Alicante Airport, I had accepted why I was here.  From this I was able to move forward with my life and jump through all the hurdles, that Spain would throw my way.  I have done everything to integrate fully here and will continue to do what is necessary in order to keep moving forwards.  I know what you are thinking. If you are trying to move on, why do you keep writing about what happened to you? This is a question, I am asked all the time.  Why do you not just forget what happened? Quite simply, in order to move forward, one has to learn from the past,  In order to learn, one must recall events and deal with them.  Being able to finally express oneself and write, without a clouded mind has been the best healer.  My judgement, although questioned by others, was always spot on.  I was always right, about the reality, surrounding our old life.  I was told my thoughts were mere conjecture, an assumption or a figment of my imagination. At times I questioned myself, but now, surrounded by the right people, talking to the correct groups and listening to the right advice, I know that I was and will continue to be right!  I have accepted that I am correct, I was always accurate and for that reason alone, I will continue to push forwards, positively!

Possitivity has been the other major player in my present state of mind.  I have always had an optimistic outlook living here.  Even when things have not turned out as they should have done, I have continually put what happened in a positive light.  In reality, there is no negativity in my life any more.  All those unconstructive, unhelpful, abrogating influences are now firmly back in their box, well away from here.  I am lucky enough to live in a very progressive, beneficiall, community, where most individuals are efficacious. This does rub off on me and those I am surrounded by. The encouragement they give and the support they offer, is always accepted, without reservation.

I am no longer inward looking.  I spend very little time at home, living an outdoor lifestyle.  I reflect on matters from the past that are relevant, I never get involved in others lives and I live my life to the fullest.  All of these things are different from what happened before.  My whole outlook has changed and the knock on effect is palpable and profound.  'Steps to Wellbeing' for me, wasn't about some ridiculous scheme to follow in a class room, but was literally about me, taking back, what was taken away. The future looks rosy  now!  It will be hard, don't get me wrong, but because I am in a much better place, I can use that current situation to finally achieve all I want to achieve, laying to rest the ghosts of the past and embracing a much fuller, satisfying future!

Peace and love always!
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