Settled!

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I think I can safely say, that this past week has been the one, where I have finally felt settled in Spain.  It has been a hard road, getting  here and in all honesty, at the beginning, I really did not want to leave Britain.  When you have lived in a place all your life, it can be extremely hard leaving. I have tried living in other Countries, several times before, and each time, it hasn't worked out.  I missed home too much and just wanted to go back.

There are many reasons why I feel far more settled now, in Spain than I have done in the past.  The circumstances that bought me and my partner to Spain this time, were extremely negative.  This was not initially a positive decision, something we chose to do together.  This was a forced compromise, advised by others in view of what had happened to us.  Under such strained times, the apprehension, revulsion and reluctance you feel, can be overwhelming and certainly not a positive step towards a new life.

Spain has worked for me, more than anyone else,  for many reasons. The last few days in Britain were terrible days for me.  People who I regarded as friends were not and they proved without a shadow of a doubt, just how dreadful they were.  The people I relied on, during the last year, were only really there, to gain what they could, out of our situation.  Once you come to terms with that fact and accept who they are, as shocking as it is, you really can move forward.  The sudden realisation, that you are leaving for good and never going back, is a great place to start. Once you have removed those stumbling blocks away from your future direction, the process does actually become quite liberating.  I had already removed the worst of the worst from my life.  I walked away from difficult situations, because I had too much self respect. Sadly for Darrell, he would bring the debris with him, at least for a period of time.  This made him ill and unable to cope, in the way I did.

​From the second day, I arrived in Spain, I began my own journey of establishing myself as a permanent resident of Spain.  I had accepted, that my life no longer existed in The UK.  I had accepted the advice I was given, by a Solicitor and others and understood the clear choice left for me, to heal the pain of the last five years.  I had to make my life count once again, take control of it and never allow anyone to control my very existence again.  To have someone, who you know very little about dominate your life, without you even knowing, is a hard thing to admit too.  After the denial, when the evidence was produced, of course, I had to accept what I could clearly see.

Having Jamie and Natalee with us, has been a great source of comfort for me at least. They are a link to the past, but both of them are a positive bridge to my life in The UK. They were the real support, during inauspicious times.  They both were the friends who made me laugh, even through the worst situations.  They make up for the rubbish that we so definitely and absolutely left behind.  They made my transition to Spanish life, much easier to endure.  Going anywhere new on your own, can be tough, so having ready made friends with you, can only help of course.

Today as I sit here writing, I feel much happier.  I have achieved all the steps necessary to be a permanent resident.  When I walk around the streets of Gran Alacant, I feel comfortable, at home and confident.  Only yesterday, as I walked into work three people passed the time of day, as they walked past and several others waved at me from their cars.  That was a real feeling of acceptance and self worth on my behalf. The people here are tremendously accepting of others, no matter who they are.  I have written before about the role the expat community have paid in helping us, but also others, in particular someone I work with, who has been a great source of inspiration and has gone out of her way to be there when we have needed it.

The community spirit has won me over, for the first time in my life. GA has a population of around ten thousand, but actually feels a lot smaller.  There is a small village type atmosphere, which I am not used too, but that makes for a much better sense of commonality and neighbourhood. People here, genuinely want to help.  The expat nature of the area, can be clearly seen through the actions of others and the survival instinct of life as a foreigner living abroad.  

Forging new friendships has been important in our success or not here.  I have made more attachments in the last five months than I could have ever imagined.  In fact I am making new bonds every day.  We have made some very close friendships, with some wonderful people.  These are the important ones, who help us maintain our life and give us reason after reason to stay in this harsh Country.  The people are everything. Spain is a beautiful Country, but without the people we have met, I have a feeling, we would probably not be here today.  Life in Spain, is nothing like it is in The UK.  Unless you retire with a fortune, you really have to spent time grafting hard, harder than I have ever done before.  That is unimportant to me, because grafting in a place you love, is much better than existing in a place you hate.

So life today is good.  I am personally feeling very settled and happy finally.  I am looking forward to where life takes me now.  Don't get me wrong, not everything is fantastic, but the things that are not, can and will be ironed out.  I do find it difficult to accept what happened to me over the last year, but it has been easier to deal with, knowing that we live in a wonderful place, surrounded by amazing people.  Spain truely is home now.  I am glad the past, littered with the unscrupulous and psychotic are becoming ghosts, part of the debris left behind and feel sure, that wherever life takes us now, it can only be better than what went before!

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