Selling a Story!

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Everyone has a story to tell.  I've heard the saying many times, that all of us have a book inside of us.  Of course we all lead very different lives, follow many distinct paths and have very divergent views on whether we should tell our own story.  Many people's lives are indeed interesting and could form the basis of a book, but not everyone wants details of events that shaped them as a person to be published in such an obvious way. Also many other people could be damaged by choosing to go public with personal events!

I have always lived my life as an open book.  What happened to me in recent times is not a secret.  I made a conscious choice to write a blog about my experiences as a person, quite simply, because it helped me come to terms with what had happened, and it is a subject that other people should be fully aware of.  It is difficult to write down terrible occurrences on paper, reliving them everyday, referring to words, written at a difficult juncture in one's life, but for me it was and continues to be the right thing to do.  I lived a very different life to most, colourful, eccentric and not what I would have expected for myself or what others would have wanted; what happened to me, is a part of who I am.  I have learned and grown from it and continue to carry the burden of actions, by others around with me.  I still have nightmares, see the faces of people, who were responsible for terrible deeds and continue to suffer the reverberations from a time, that I should essentially forget and ultimately move on with my life.

As someone who writes, I have also read much about other people, individuals in similar positions as I.  The shock I feel, everytime I read someone's story is palpable. It has helped me come to terms with what happened to my life and without those words, I may well have found it more difficult to process my own thoughts and emotions.  Words teach us much, and I am thankful, I read the books, articles and forums I did.  

A large percentage of those who have been in the same position as myself, have chosen to make their lives public.  This can be dangerous, because of the nature of what transpired, but for them, it helps address issues surrounding crimes that you will never forget.  It assists them when dealing with emotions, felt so strong every day.  In many cases it also is the catalyst for closure, of a chapter in their life, that needs to be shut forever.

A few months ago I contacted an agent about the story I had to tell.  I was told they would be the best people to speak to as they could sell my story to any number of different publications.  I didn't expect to hear anything back, as I was told to wait 48 hours for a reply.  This morning I received an email from the agents, who apologised for the delay in getting back to me.  It seems that the stories people have to tell, appear in cycles and right now several publications are interested in mine.  The topic is of interest at this particular point in time.  So now I have to make a decision, about what I should do!

Should I sell my story or not?  This is a difficult one for me, because in reality, I feel it is time to just move on.  I really do want to forget what happened, especially over the last year and a half, but equally I do not want those who caused harm to me and many others to get away with what they did.  I spoke to someone earlier, from the agency, who gave me advice, about what I could expect to happen from selling my story.  It was much as I thought, the saving grace for me, is that I am now living abroad, so much of what could happen, will not affect me.  

This would not be a one off story, because of what happened, the publications involved wanted to run a series of articles on my experiences.  The biggest interest, is in who was responsible for my current position.  As my readers know the charity involved is one of the biggest, if not the biggest in the world and as a result, the interest generated would be large.  The public do need to know, just what the perpetrators are like and the lengths they would go to, to try and destroy their own staff. They quite simply, showed no regard for the law and  offered no protection from those responsible for victimising me! 

Unlike others I was offered no agreement, or pay off for silence, so I don't have to keep quiet.  As you would expect, I will not go away, so they can continue to live their lives by persecuting others.  Bullying can take many forms and extremes.  I was at the excessive end of abuse, to put it mildly, which nearly resulted in my death.  In my view and that of those who have and still are helping me, I was lucky to get out when I did. In the 21st century, those who have been instrumental in the destruction of others, should not be allowed to get away with it.  

Even after everything I went through, there was no official apology or acknowledgement of responsibility.  I was left in the worst position of my life; My cries for help were ignored, by a Management team who were complicit in what was going on; I was offered no explanations; I was lied to and others were used to infiltrate my life to such an extent, that they had my life in their hands.  Naturally i am not going to allow this episode to rest, until I have retribution for it, one way or another!

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