Renewal

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Today I wanted to talk about a subject very close to my heart, RENEWAL.  For me the word renewal, is a positive, forward thinking word, that always gives me great hope for the future. It is also something I have a lot of experience of, especially recently. Renewal is something we should all experience in order to grow and move forward in life.  Without renewal, lives, people and situations become stale and harder, so although scary at times, to renew ones life is to experience rebirth!

Coming to Spain on the 31 January 2016 was a big deal for me,  Actually it was probably the biggest and hardest decision, both myself and Darrell had ever had to take.  Our life had been turned upside sown, nearly a year before, with revelations we could not quite come to terms with.  At that time we were given very little official help and took advice from those in authority, in order to try and work our way through, a huge amount of revelations that were quite simply dreadful.

About a year before this, myself and Darrell had been discussing the possibility of moving to Spain, before these revelations had surfaced, but due to circumstances, that we now know, could be related to what happened to us, we decided against it. When you hear cold, hard facts and realised that the story of our life, was not necessarily of our making, I don't mind telling you, how devastated, shocked and troubled I was.  This was the defining moment in our life.  The point, when you have to take huge leaps of faith and jump into the unknown.  This was the most disturbing time, yet, it was also the most liberating.  Lives begin and end, through trauma and dramatic times and ours was so drama fuelled, it was the spark and ignition into our new, current journey.

At the time, when revelations surfaced, that were hard to understand, the muddle and confusion experienced could have quite easily tipped us over the edge into an even larger abyss, or worse.  How we dealt with the news was crucial to our survival.  For a while, things went pear shaped and we coped badly, very badly. There were times, I believed we would never accept what had happened and move forward.  I was far more reluctant to leave my Country and home than Darrell was. I had tried to settle in Australia twice before and found the move impossible. In my view, nothing would be different in Spain and we would just end up in an even worse position.

This time I was wrong.  Not only have I fallen in love with my new home, but I have also fallen in love with Spain, its people and the way of life.  There is very little here that I don't enjoy and to be honest, these things are really about the Government and paperwork, things I can not change anyway.  Renewal for me this time, has worked. My life is happier than ever.  I am spending quality time with quality people, finally and have left behind the losers of the past, who were our major stumbling block to happiness.  Even while living in Spain, the two of us, as well as Jamie, were still the subject of lies, gossip and rumour as well as further revelations, to add on top of those we already knew.  I have discovered that life really is about where you are living and the people you associate with.  The satisfaction for me, is knowing the worst of those we knew are still there, in that miserable Country, we used to call home!

Of course  transition to a new life, has not always been as easy for me.  As I have mentioned, Australia was absolutely impossible.  I found it extremely hard adjusting to life in Perth.  I have no idea what the specific problem was and it was probably a combination of many different things, from people and wildlife to the heat and laid back nature of life there.  In reality, I was most certainly way to young to appreciate living in Australia.  At 23 years of age, I felt terribly isolated and had just too many difficulties with life thousands of miles away.  

Renewal raised its head again in 2000, when Darrell and I took a business opportunity, moving to the middle of nowhere, taking on a restaurant, garage and shop.  At first the change was easy.  It was only twenty odd miles away from where we used to live, so isolation was never a problem, the people in the village were fantastic and likable and welcomed us with open arms and the peace and tranquility was a welcome break from City life.  Of course, just like the story of our life things were not going to stay that way.  Circumstances changed and our business closed. Dishonest people, lies and hidden truths bought our life there to an abrupt end and once again it was all change with Darrell and I, as we moved on to another chapter.

From my Southern roots, further renewal and a move up to the Lancashire, Yorkshire boarder.  We had bought a house there a few years before as a holiday home, so when we closed the business, it was logical to move there.  It was a culture shock, living 'up north', more so than Australia.  It really was like moving to a different world.  Northern people can be the best people in the World, but they were not very welcoming, at least for us, as gay southerners.  If your face fits, as they say.  Although working, both Darrell and I felt even more isolated than we had done, in our whole life.  Within three years we were back living down South.  In 2008, I got a new job, and the most recent revelations, explain the story of our life until we moved to Spain!

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Renewal is important for each and everyone of us.  We will all go through difficult periods in our life, when we have to consider the unthinkable and change dramatically in order to survive and move forwards in life. Without a new start or change we would fail to move on in life and would suffer from the same mistakes we made in the past.   Of course we all make errors of judgement, sometimes huge ones, but we do need to learn from them.  Even now at 44 years old, I am still making the same stupid choices, I made in the past, though this time, I am determined not to continue down that same road.  A fresh start, new people and a different culture, will help to limit the mistakes of the future.

Some people have messaged, asking if we were not just running away from our past. You could look at it that way, but this time, there was no option.  Legal advice gave us answers we did not want to hear.  Those advising were blunt, to the point and realistic. For the first time in my life, I at least, followed advice!  So far they were correct, with what they told us.  If we had stayed in the same place, we have no idea, if we would still be here today.  This was never a choice we made, but one that was thrust upon us by others.  Luckily being forced to make tough choices has made us think the unthinkable and we have been able to rebuild our life into something worth celebrating.

Happiness is the key.  We were deeply unhappy in The UK, especially towards the end. As more and more revelations surfaced, as more and more people came forward with the truth and as it became clear that many individuals were involved, it took its toll on all of our lives, not only those directly involved, but also friends and family, who understood what had happened.  It affected countless lives and those responsible should be bought to account one day.  It has to be said however, that without these distasteful cretins in our life, we would never had been forced to move abroad and finally  enjoying our life; thanks for that guys.  On the day you are finally uncovered for what you did, I will make sure I am there.  Be fully aware, I will come to see you pay for what you have done.  Until then keep on trying to destroy others.  Evidence will get you in the end!

Peace and love always!

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