Newcome and Me!

I have been working at the Newcome Arms for nearly six months now and have finally become part of the furniture as it were. When I first started at this local pub in the heart of Fratton, I decided to keep my sexuality a secret; In fact wherever I work, I never really discuss my private life, it isn't something that I think about everyday, it is just a part of me. A persons sexual preference does not influence their ability to do a job, so the conversation should never really take place, unless of course you are comfortable enough to have it.

Judging a situation is important when deciding what others need to know and in truth I never once told anyone I was gay, that was done by my little cousin, who just happened to mention it to one of the patrons at the Newcome. As soon as I found out, I was a little annoyed to be honest, but mistakes happen and it wasn't done on purpose, so I didn't hold any malice; in fact she probably did me a favour.

It wasn't too long before the regulars started to make various comments in passing, so I knew everyone was well aware of my orientation. After an initial few days of feeling uncomfortable, I soon adjusted to the reality of my situation. If I am totally honest, the only person who had a problem with my sexuality was me. I was the one trying to hide who I was and felt uncomfortable with others knowing, it was never really an issue for them. Everyone has been great and today I feel like a weight has been lifted from my mind. I no longer have to pretend who I am and can openly discuss my life and partner with people,without fear of outing myself.

I can understand how many readers will find my way of coping with the 'gay thing' as odd and not the way to act in the year 2018, but they also have to understand the era In which I grew up, very different from that of today. There was a lot of prejudice and openly talking about homosexuality could cause long term damage. Today even in gritty Fratton, where some of the residents would sooner thump you than look at you, I have been surprised at their reaction.

I feel more relaxed now working in my local pub than I ever have done and hold everyone who goes there in the highest regard. This is the first time in many years I have felt part of a community and am enjoying the relationships and friendships that I am now forming. There is a difference between Portsmouth and Gran Alacant. Here I have some real bonds; the people are far more down to Earth and welcoming and there is a real sense of belonging, unlike Spain. Don't get me wrong I did have some wonderful close friends when I lived abroad, but they were few and far between, the majority of those who lived in GA, only said hello when you were in one of the many bars and pubs; life was very much centred around the squares and those who drink in them. Darrell and I rarely went out drinking, we were of an age where it was important to live a life more conducive to our relationship; others were very different. Consequently we had little contact with anyone on a daily basis; that was bad for us and our life in Spain, one of the many reasons we decided to leave.

The Newcome is the centre of a vibrant local neighbourhood and I am glad to be a small cog in a very large wheel. The people of Portsmouth are my people, I was born here after all and it is a very big part of who I am. Listening to the conversations in the bar, chatting with many of the locals, I am struck by their humour and honesty. The inhabitants of this great Naval city are a hardy bunch, will always tell you what they are thinking, sometimes in the most colourful terms and express their views without reservation, that is what makes living here right for me now, at my time of life. Who knows where I will end up in the future, but wherever that is, I will always have a special place in my heart for the people who live, work and socialise in this city, especially those who frequent the Newcome Arms!

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