Looking Back!

It's been a strange month for me; having not seen anyone from back home in a year and a half, Darrell and I have had a succession of visitors arriving at our home in Gran Alacant. It has been wonderful seeing so many friends from Southampton, who gave us the opportunity to settle into Spanish life before making the journey to Spain. Right about now, it has been great to see the important ones, the ones we care about, after what seems like a life time away, from our city roots.

It has been crucial to stay in contact, with past friendships. As someone close said to me, before we left for Spain; 'People will visit you wherever you are, no matter how far away you go!' At the time, life seemed pretty terrible; whatever anyone said, to make us feel better, I would reject out of hand. Importantly, friends have come to visit; for the first time in many years, I have been able to spend quality time with three people over the last month alone. This has been essential for my state of mind and well being. Living in a foreign country can be lonely at times, even with ones partner here and new friends around us. My old, dearest friends would always have been the first ones I would have turned to in the past, so it was wonderful they were here.

It is very strange living in a holiday resort, you see people come and go all the time, it's something you have to get used to. To see ones friends come and go in the same vein, has actually felt rather reassuring; to me that says they will return again one day, just as the holidaymakers do, year after year.

I have been able to sit down and talk about old memories, shared experiences and long since forgotten muses. To me at this juncture, in my current position, I am grateful for the past four weeks. Remembering the good, always outweighs the terrible events that brought us to Spain. Those who have come to see us, so far, have not been the ones I expected; maybe that says more about my judgement of others. The ones who promised to visit and shed a tear are also the ones, I haven't heard from yet. People have amazed me over the last eighteen months for good and bad reasons. The biggest lesson I have learned, is it isn't necessarily the ones you think will be there, who are. Some people are very good at showing empathy, just when it is needed, but most forget very quickly. I cherish memories, probably more than most; memories and photo's are all I need now, to move forward with my life. I am keeping my thoughts and recollections positive, helped along by those closest.

Not only have I seen people from back home, but others have been in contact, by the wonder of social media. I am lucky enough to be in contact with someone I grew up alongside; I lived next door to as a small child and went to the same school with. For me connecting with my youth and the past seems to be very important at the moment. I am sure there is a reason why, I just haven't found it yet. I guess moving to Spain has opened up old pathways, that have been closed for many years. I have been instrumental in reconnecting life lines that in the past, without the internet, could not have been re-established. I am a person who looks back with fondness, remembering the simpler times because today, my life isn't so easy; in fact it is damn right hard. Friends, whether in person, on the phone or through facebook have made these challenging times, much easier to cope with. I will do all I can to keep those recollections alive.

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